


When Worlds Collide

by StarryEyedForAnArchangel



Series: A Special Kind Of Hell [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Bad coping mechanisms, Beelzebub Has a Penis (Good Omens), Beelzebub Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Beelzebub may have an infernal form of chronic illness, Bottom Beelzebub (Good Omens), Child Death, Comfort, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gabriel Has a Penis (Good Omens), Gabriel is a handsy fucker, Gabriel just wants to do right by his wife, He/Him Pronouns For Gabriel (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, I FINALLY have fluff, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Memory Loss, Memory loss from trauma, Mental Breakdown, Misgendering, Nonbinary Beelzebub (Good Omens), Not Beta Read, Other, Part II, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Gabriel (Good Omens), Public Humiliation, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation, Slow Burn, Smut, Strange Metaphysical Illness, The 1700s, The Archangel Gabriel doesn't know how enemies work, Top Gabriel (Good Omens), Trauma, Ze/Zir Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), awkward pining, bondmates, child sacrifice, did I bring new meaning to the term "Gabriel is a handsy fucker?", enemies to accidentally married to lovers, i’m so sorry!, just. Please always check my notes before reading., oh look more trauma, someone's already having a panic attack and it's either Beelzebub or me, with a hint of brat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 37
Words: 227,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23318179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryEyedForAnArchangel/pseuds/StarryEyedForAnArchangel
Summary: Heaven and Hell must once again join forces to bring order back to Earth and deal with renegade Damned souls that have broken from their bonds in Hell.This brings two ethereal beings back into the other's lives, further intertwining their fates together.Old faces plague the two and secrets are piling up just as quickly as bodies on the battlefield. This joint effort will bring new issues to the duo as they try to figure out how to handle their sordid arrangement.Gabriel, always trying to be the best at everything, included his union to his infernal counterpart, is concerned over zir well-being  but subsequently driving Beelzebub to madness. And Beelzebub is grappling with zir duties to Hell, zir obligations to Lucifer, and dealing with what the Prince knows ze are not supposed to have. And as a proud demon and the embodiment of Gluttony ze are beginning to find zirself further confused and suffocating and Damning zirself for even thinking of such a thing.Please know that this fic is mostly just angst and pain with a bit of fluff thrown in.
Relationships: Beelzebub & Gabriel (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Past Beelzebub/Lucifer|Satan (Good Omens)
Series: A Special Kind Of Hell [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619050
Comments: 272
Kudos: 43





	1. When Worlds Collide

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again everyone! 
> 
> I hope everyone is SAFE and able to do their best in our trying times. I truly hope you're all well and taking care of yourself, figuring out how to cope with our global predicament. Stay safe!
> 
> In the meantime I will be writing absolutely awful things that will probably make you all want to murder me in my sleep (I'm so sorry StarlightPhoenix!!! Forgive me!!). A note about Lucifer: He was a mistake. He was never meant to turn out as he did in that fic but that's how he metastasized and I'm so sorry. He's not the cool Lucifer we all know and love in the TV show Lucifer. 
> 
> I will add tags as we go and give warnings at the beginning of each chapter without trying to give anything away. Please let me know if I ever miss a warning because I DO NOT want to cause anyone harm of that nature. You deserve to always be forewarned.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Archangel Gabriel and his soldiers of the Lord are tasked with meeting with the other side in order to return the souls Damned to Hell to their Eternal imprisonment. What he was not expecting was his tiny infernal wife to be the one leading Hell's legions into battle, meeting the estranged couple after roughly 2000 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already got out of hand with Gabriel...he's an idiot that is too easy to write for...
> 
> There are already TW for this chapter: towards the end Lucifer is violent both physically and sexually and I'm so sorry already!  
> (I had debated putting that as an epilogue but wanted to leave it on a slightly happy note and let the two have their moment out in the flowers but still thought...it was important to at least get it out of my head.)
> 
> I 100% promise more shenanigans to balance things out. And look! early in the beginning we have a wild himbo who will leave a little Lord of Hell questioning if he knows what he's saying!

“Gabriel, you shouldn’t be going off on your own to the other camp, they’re dangerous.” The Archangel Zaphkiel commented, not quite fretting. 

“Of course, they’re dangerous, the opposition are devious and cunning. It’s what they do.” He chuckled, making that what you just said was dumb’ face, as he and his angelic companion stomped through the woods as though they owned it, Raguel at their side. “But we’ve received command from Metatron to make contact with them. This assignment requires us to work alongside our adversaries to round up the escapees.” 

“And why exactly is this our task?” Raguel questioned, brow knit in frustration. 

“We, as well as the forces of Hell, cannot allow the Damned to walk the Earth and lay waste to the mortals. They may be at fault for being poor wardens, it’s to be expected, they are lowly demons after all,” He stormed through some bushes that made way as though on command for the angelic trio, “but it’s our job to clean up their mess and keep Mother’s creation safe.” He patted his brother’s shoulder, “It wouldn’t be right if we didn’t bring aide during this chaos.” 

Raguel knew that to be true but still despised having to have anything to do with demons. He shuddered at the recollection of one of his last encounters. The Damned memory brought the deceptive little Hell whore that jammed his own blade into his corporation to mind. The thought of zir cracking part of his sternum and ribs that caged his heart made him seethe. It did not help that Gabriel had laughed at him on learning of why he had an unscheduled arrival to Head Office. 

The Leader of Angels, arriving with their sibling Uriel minutes before, was looking on at his sudden unexpected appearance in confusion and growing disappointment over him for being so careless with his corporation. That is until Sandalphon had come up and exposed the encounter with the angry little demon and asked Raguel if he was alright. The shorter angel had witnessed his failure from the observation deck, keeping an eye on Occult activities in the area, and saw the whole catastrophe, starting from when the other two had jumped up to the Heavens in a bolt of lightning. 

As soon as Sandalphon had recounted what had occurred, chirping about how Ba’al bested him so quickly his eldest brother’s face contorted in humor. Uriel had looked aghast as Gabriel threw his head back and let out the laughter that was shaking him, his flower crown still affixed to his head. 

This however did not halt an admonishment for making an unsanctioned attack on the Prince. 

Undeterred by Gabriel’s interruption, Sandalphon said he was in Raguel’s service, asking if he could do anything for the apparition-like angel and, if Raguel so wished it, and he was permitted, he could retaliate on his behalf. The Enforcer was admirably at his disposal and enthusiastically ready to lay waste to Beelzebub. 

This brought about swift protest and strict orders that forbad the Enforcer and anyone else thinking from pursuing the Prince. Gabriel said that unless the Metatron approved of any further investigation into the Demon Prince Beelzebub they were to “leave her be.” and that was that. He had made it sound that there would be no further argument on the matter and went to leave for his office. 

The taller Archangel, their leader against the opposition, was off on his way all but containing his giggling, saying things like, “Of course, she would. Wouldn’t expect less of the Prince.” 

But before he could be out of earshot with the others he said the Angel of Justice needed to get back into corporeal form and push harder in his own training to even be considered a match for the likes of his personal adversary, that they all did. The Messenger called out to Raguel that he would have his recorporation papers ready for him to fill out and expected the details of how it all occurred written in “to best know how Prince Beelzebub operates to study her, of course!” And then he was gone. 

Instead, Raguel quickly sought council with Michael, finding it more important than a new body before heading back to his duties on Earth. 

She was not pleased to hear of the incident, and shocked by the news of Gabriel’s reaction but tried to alleviate his anger with words to bring Peace. She kept saying that it was Gabriel’s way of handling things and part of why he was chosen to work with the enemy, but Michael’s look matched Raguel’s. That meeting ended quickly with her sending him off and Michael heading back to her office, frown set deep on her face. 

Needless to say, it had been a very difficult day for the curly haired angel. His Wrath had to be kept in check and it did not abate, not even after all th centuries. He was looking forward to meeting with the demon with every intent to deliver to zir his own version of Justice. He briefly wondered if ze would be on the battlefield and permitting another chance to take a crack at zir. 

************************************************** 

“It doesn’t change the fact that we shouldn’t be working WITH them.” Raguel groused once more. “You must keep on your guard, brother, there are tempters who would prey on your kindness in the whole lot of them.” 

“I don’t think we’ll have a problem. Orders from the Almighty are clear to work-!” 

And the angel was aloft, his fellow compatriots instantly in defense positions to guard their leader; however, all that was heard was hooting and cackles around them. Whether Gabriel being strung up was out of malicious intent or not was beside the point, he was furious to be tricked and strung up after speaking of generosity and decorum in regards to the enemy that had him ensnared. That is until... 

“Ziiillleeennnnzzze!” 

-Bee?... 

A loud disgruntled sigh, one he recognized so well even after not hearing for around two hundred years, made feelings of relief flood through Gabriel. He had spun out too fast and couldn’t get a look at where he assumed ze stood in the group of imposing demons, all clad in black garb but not a skirt in sight. He was momentarily worried that maybe he had heard the being wrong and put his guard up. He actually couldn’t recall zir wearing any pant like garments when he thought about it... 

He could hear whispers but couldn’t discern what was being said, the rest of the demonic lot were as though made of stone and staring the angelic trio down, hands on weapons but not drawn. 

“We come in accordance to the arrangement and orders of the Almighty to-” 

“Alright, fuckfaces, head on back, the boss wants to talk to their leader alone! Scram!” The hanging Archangel had managed to see the one who stepped forward, familiar to him from Golgotha when he first met Beelzebub, shout out into the lot. 

-Rude. 

“You twats too, the Prince wants to talk to the head-wanker in private.” 

“Gabriel?” Zaphkiel queried nervously from his position, sword at the ready but not to cut him down from his tether. Gabriel held his hand up (down?) to keep his brother still, though he continued to spin. 

“We will not leave him.” Raguel spat. 

“Show good Faith, brothers.” Gabriel said, trying to appear as cool headed with hands open by his face even while ridiculously mobile. 

“They should not be granted such charity.” He heard Zaphkiel grit out through clenched teeth. 

“Who are we but not the charitable ones?” He was trying not to be frustrated as it wasn’t helping his current state. “Fall back. Report to home base that I’ve made contact with the adversary's representative.” 

He was certain he could handle this group of demons. From what he could sense of auras was that many were very low level and only a handful could even cause him to break a sweat. Even if they all rushed him he was certain of his abilities to take them down. 

“That’s right! Off with you cock suckers!” A gruff voice shouted at them. 

“It’s alright.” He tried to ease his siblings worry again. 

Jeers were shouted from the demonic side with words that would usually have Gabriel ready to admonish them but he knew he was in no position. He was getting fed up with spinning round and wanted everyone to leave so that he could face their leader. A growl and another shout from the one he assumed was Beelzebub droned out rousing the demons into retreat, his brothers faltered in their own. A deadly buzz made the demons all but run and the angels look to one another. 

When all were gone and the only two ethereal beings left were up in a tree or leaning against another the Archangel tried to speak but was interrupted by a familiar grunt. He had stopped spinning abruptly and faced the wrong way so he tried to arch his back to see behind him but could only see the booted legs and black (-was that fishnet?) stockings sticking out before meeting below the knees with black breeches. 

Out of frustration he reached to the ground to use his hands to turn himself to finally face them and see the demon of Gluttony, Prince Beelzebub, standing aloof and as unreadable as ever. 

The two remained silent for a while, observing the other. Waiting for something… 

“Greetings, dearest wife of mine.” The archangel smiled with an effervescence he should not have bore in his predicament at the fiend who leaned against the bark of the tree that Salvation happened to be tied to. Zir face was unmoving as the mountaintops of Fuji. 

-Fucking idiot. 

“Care to help me out, sunshine?” 

“And why, exactly, would I?” 

“Because it would be nice and you should be kind to your husband?” 

“Nah. Rather like you up there all tied up, and the like. Might even gag you.” 

And ze strut forward and pushed him by the arm to make him turn, leaning forward a little to be more face level as ze said, “Also; m’not nice.” 

“Then, perhaps you could do me the favor considering it part of your obligations as my wife.” He said as Gabriel finished his turn and took hold of zir waist before ze could push him again. The angel found his large hands could very nearly meet at the middle of zir stomach without trying. On feeling the slight curve of zir waist he felt a little spark run through his corporation, telling himself it to be familiarity and a sense of stability to have the diminutive demon back in arms reach again. 

-She’s not wearing a corset but she’s still so tiny. Wait. Don't woman-like forms require support?... 

He used his excellent core strength to maneuver his body to not be completely inverted and granted him a better look of zir face and not zir crotch. 

Ze hadn’t changed, still short, still cherubic of cheek, still scowling and tired looking, less so than how he remembered seeing zir in that field on the outskirts of the city with zir hair graced with a flower crown he had made for zir. The Demon Prince’s hair now seemed to have been tucked away in zir hat and he couldn’t tell if it had been cut, he was actually a little distressed at the prospect though it still looked good. Zir small frame was still deceptive and angular in some places while round and curvy in others. He could see zir hips easier in these new garments, and ze weren’t nude for him to see that, which was a surprise because ze were indeed wearing trousers. 

And then there were zir eyes… 

Still calling out to him and taunting him with zir cold Heavenly blues. 

Beelzebub’s face was as cold as ever but zir shockingly blue eyes seemed alight in zir face. It told of a little thrill of seeing him, at least that’s what Gabriel hoped he was seeing in the glean of zir eyes. It didn’t seem to be that fear... 

“Favors are dangerous when bargained for with demons, Messenger. Surely you should know that by now.” 

“As much as they are with wives, from what I’ve heard.” 

“Take your hands off me, Gabriel.” 

“Sure thing, sunshine.” He smirked and held his hands apart. He had not accounted for zir to slap him. Hard but not in a way that would be dangerous for the likes of even a human, almost like ze were playing with him. It sent a shiver through him and he grunted as he went spinning round again. He watched as ze started to walk away from him and started calling out to zir in his annoyingly loud deep voice. He would not see the smirk that graced zir lips. 

“Come on! Honeybee!” 

Until that nickname stopped zir dead in zir tracks and the look of Hellfire ignited in zir eyes and ze turned that Hellish glare on him. He didn’t have time to fully appreciate zir anger as Beelzebub cut him down with the flick of zir wrist, dropping him with a thud. Just as quickly, ze were lifting him up and throwing him against the nearest tree, making its wood crack from the impact. 

“Dare call me that again, Mezzenger, and I will make you pay for the next thouzand yearz.” 

Ze were so close he could swear he could catch the scent of honey on zir skin under the sweat and dirt. Beelzebub had always smelled Earthy and sun-kissed and, for some reason, that was fitting to the Messenger. 

“If you’ve got the stamina for that, but I doubt you’ll be able to break me.” He smiled a big toothy grin, holding onto zir elbows despite any hint of humor or horror in zir aura, ze kept it all wrapped up tight. He had found he had missed the petite infernal with such Heavenly Blessed eyes and a temper to match. “And don’t worry, I don’t think anyone’s in ear shot to hear us. It’s our secret.” He took hold of zir hands and involuntarily fingered zir left ring finger, but it felt wrong somehow in his touch. He had noticed Beelzebub’s corporation shaking but was assuming that was due to zir anger not zir sudden urge to flee over his word choice. He was already driving zir up a wall but ze were truthfully frozen, wide-eyed, between shock and utter horror too much so to even speak. 

“I’m glad to see you’ve not changed.” He looked zir over more thoroughly now that he was upright. “Although, I see you’re wearing pants. You look good!” 

Ze wore all black with the singular exception of a red sash that was adorned with war metals. Around zir neck was zir sigil, pinned into zir kerchief. Zir shirts and waistcoat were also black with a braided trim detail at the edges and stylized buttonholes that were in fashion, much like the ones Gabriel’s had though his were white, but zir’s seemed to have more of a strange fishnet-like detail sewn onto it. Zir coat was a nice heavy material with a few extra pleats in back and on the side, giving it just a wide enough flare over zir hips. Ze looked fierce. 

The Prince, finally knocked out of zir stupor, squinted at him, fixing him with zir gaze but he noticed zir eyes travel to their joined hands for a brief second and a flash of something crossing zir irises before ze flicked zir gaze back. 

Just as his hand came to zir other wrist ze grunted and pushed away from him, propelling away to head back in the direction of zir encampment. Ze couldn’t chance being seen with him like that. 

“You zhould be careful of where you go, wank-wingz, z’not zafe here. I’ll not protect you.” 

When he started to follow ze growled. “Go back to your zide!” 

“I’ve come to meet with you and your generals.” 

“The fuck would you want to do that for?” 

“We need to strategize. Discuss and build necessary repore between sides. Like before.” He shrugged. 

“Thizz” Ze huffed angrily and started again, “This isn’t Italy, lines are a lot more defined here. Demons want nothing to do with your kind and wont welcome you into our camp.” Ze scowled. 

“And I want nothing to do with them. They don’t need to welcome my presence either but work with me and my kind.” His cocked his head to look down at zir as they walked on, “The only one that matters amongst your kind to me, is you, Beelzebub.” 

Ze hadn’t expected him to say something like that either and ze forbade zir petite legs from halting even though the Prince felt zir knees oddly shake. 

-He has no fucking clue how he sounds... 

“You shouldn’t be hanging around here, everyone will get the wrong idea.” Ze grunted as ze stomped beyond him, noticing how he followed suit and kept pace. 

“How? We’re leaders of the opposing factions that have been sent to handle your sides shortcomings. We’re supposed to meet. And besides, I want to catch up with my little wife along the way.” 

Beelzebub made a face and turned zir incredulous glare on the angel walking beside zir, noticing how he was taking bigger steps than zir as though intending to overtake zir again. Ze sped up. “You are not to declare our marria-“ 

“Beelzebub. You can’t renege on our deal, we made a promise to each other and that promise does include our union.” 

When ze said nothing, he pushed on and blocked zir path, without touching. 

“And so we are married.” 

“Out of my way, Mezzenger.” 

He waved his hand for them to pass. 

This wasn’t how he expected a reunion with Beelzebub to be like. But, then again, he hadn’t been sure if there ever would be a reunion prior to the End of Times. 

He at least expected zir to be maybe a little happy to see a friendly familiar face. 

“Still married!” He huffed out. 

“Fuck off, dear huzband!” Ze bit out, knowing he would keep going otherwise. 

-There she is! That’s my demon. 

He smiled warmly, remembering their last shared moments out in the field of flowers. How ze had told him to do just that and how ze didn’t want to see his ‘pretty face’ anymore. 

He couldn’t keep the smile from growing wider before calling out for zir to wait up and sprint after zir. 

“We need to hold council to discuss what our objectives will be. How each side has planned to take out our targets, who their leaders are, and who will handle what task after.” Gabriel kept talking, falling into his military roll, dictating what he expected. 

It was a bit jarring to see him spout off like that after he was just about ready to pop off his odd fixation with their deal only moments before. 

“We need to know what we are up against, Beelzebub.” 

“And you have it. In your camp. With your fellow angels.” 

“I’d rather have direct orders and information dictated by you, face to face.” He protested in a low and husky voice, pulling zir to stop and look at him. 

The Prince faltered in zir steps for a fraction of a second. 

-Get a hold of yourself, Beelzebub! For fuck sake, this needs to be stopped before he gets any worse. 

“I have no plan to order you around nor dictate to you. And you will not make mention of our...arrangement to any present.” Ze ignored his soothing touch and marched on and he followed. “I can’t imagine it would go well over on your side. If word got out it would not end well for either of us. Can’t figure out how you haven’t Fallen for even uttering such nonsense.” 

“I’m not doing anything worthy of Falling. I take our marital obligations to each other seriously, if you haven’t noticed, which would be seen as a Heavenly trait as it is a sacred covenant. And it’s not like I had a choice in the first place.” 

“That’s your excuse?! You ‘had no choice?’ Don’t make me fucking laugh.” 

“I didn’t think you knew how to laugh, sunshine.” 

Ze were not going to argue with that even if he was pissing zir off. Ze couldn’t remember the last time ze had ever done that, if Beelzebub was being honest. And if ze thought about it, reluctantly, ze knew he did take their stupid fucked up whatever it was they had seriously enough. But that was part of the problem and that was then, and this was in their now. But, whatever the case, it had to be completely disregarded in this situation where both sides were present. 

There was no room for such kind touches or familiarity. And yet ze couldn’t shake the memories of him wrapping zir up in his soothing warmth or his fingers brushing through zir hair so carefully...Ze let out a huff. 

“Whatever, pigeon, just don’t say a word about it. To anyone.” Ze gave him a pointed glare which he made no comment on. Instead he arched an eyebrow at zir and seemed to slip back into his other roll. 

“Walk me through what we’re up against. I did read the docket that was sent over by one of your legion but I felt it was remiss in a few important details.” 

“What was left out doesn’t concern you. Everything that was relevant to your side was released to you. They’re escapees from Hell’s second and eigth circles, we found one of the routes they used that intersected between the two and found the ones smuggling others out.” 

“Hell’s circles cross? How does that work?” He looked perplexed. Even if he tried to ignore rumors he had heard some that sounded absolutely preposterous about what Hell was like. This didn’t match any of the hearsay, either. If it weren’t being delivered to Gabriel by Beelzebub he wouldn’t even bother to believe it. 

Beelzebub didn’t want to discuss Hell with the being beside zir but ze submitted, “Hell isn’t linear, it may be carved out of stone but it’s also metaphysical, just as we are. It grows and morphs as needed. And sometimes, when Sins intersect as they do, circles cross paths just as the rest of Hell does, with the exception of the realms of the Damned with Hell’s living areas and exits.” 

“That doesn’t make very much sense.” 

“Hell doesn’t make sense, pigeon.” Ze sighed. Another thing ze wouldn’t argue with him over. 

“How long was this going on?” 

“Time runs differently in Hell so we don’t know exactly but we have names of all the Damned missing. However, it’s not relevant as long as we have a proper headcount. We destroyed their way out and have orders to bring them back in for further punishment, destruction is a last option.” 

“I can’t help it if my kind smite your escapees to destruction.” 

“I’m aware.” Ze growled. 

“How do you think they got out? Did they have any help? Someone from the ranks of Fallen or another demon?” 

“It’s a possibility we’ve been investigating, but everyone is tightlipped. Would be surprised if it weren’t the case though, as nothing is sacred amongst my kind.” 

“Aww, come now Bee, you must consider our marriage sacred.” 

Ze stopped abruptly, making the Messenger fall back to go back to zir side. 

“I do not.” 

“You do!” 

“You’re wrong.” 

“And you’re lying, you know I can tell.” He made a face at zir and his lavender eyes, which Beelzebub noticed were softened in the light of day without any buildings around them, dappled by the light, had shifted to zir left hand. “You’re still wearing your ring.” 

He reached out and took zir hand off the hilt of zir sword and brought it close to inspect, he needed to know why it had felt wrong earlier. 

“Why is it bent out of shape?” He could see the very fine details had been smooshed but not eroded away. The delicate gold ring was scratched up and dull looking and it appeared as though it had been pressed in half. The little fly etchings were all but gone. It looked as though it was digging uncomfortably into zir already tiny slim finger when he knew he had commissioned it to perfectly fit zir. 

Beelzebub tried to wretch zir hand out of his grip as ze remembered exactly why zir precious trinket was in such a state. Ze didn’t want to be reminded. 

It had happened shortly after returning. 

He had crushed zir hand right at the joint of zir ring finger. Zir Lord’s heel was right on the ring and He smashed it until it would all but come off, black blood spilling from the metal digging into zir flesh. Ze didn’t cry. 

It hurt so terribly but ze didn’t cry, ze wouldn’t even though the Prince knew everything attached to that stupid ring was wrong. Ze grit zir teeth and made no move to beseech zir King to stop nor beg for forgiveness, nor would ze deny what He accused zir of. It was zir ring and everything that came along with it. May as well be committed to zir Gluttony over everything including zir punishment. 

Ze did whimper as Lucifer ground His foot and made something in zir finger pop from the pressure. Blood splurted out across the floor and hand and ze hissed through clenched teeth in agony. Ze WANTED to scream. 

That was somehow so much worse than the fucking He gave zir. Lucifer worked zir like a horse, crooning His words of anger at zir for the betrayal. He hit zir head on the table as he lifted zir up and slammed zir on it, injuring zir back,as ze felt something crack. 

He pushed zir up onto the table, letting zir legs dangle, the Prince dared not to move. The Leader of the Great Rebellion told zir how He had wanted zir to come back to Him like how He had had the painting done. The King of Hell told of how the inspiration had come to Him from Before and how He had wanted His little angel, His “butterfly princess.” He told zir to make zirself shiny and to remove any bits that were wrong on zir. He willed zir into Heavenly garments that burned and He pushed Himself in as soon as He was satisfied with how ze looked. 

The last thing whispered to zir was, “you couldn’t possibly ever be satisfied with my brother’s angelic prick and yet you gave yourself to him. I give you mine, freely, my little butterfly. How can you be so dissatisfied?” 

And then He slapped zir and that was that. He had his way with zir for longer than ze could keep track of, beating zir as Luca had and calling zir names, and left zir in a pile of pain. But ze only clutched at zir hand when ze were truly alone, it was the only pain that seemed to register. 

It wasn’t able to be properly fixed in Hell, neither ring nor finger, the pop had been the flesh and very fabric of zir corporation splitting open several layers. Beelzebub could only miracle the ring off to save it, and no healer amongst zir kind would dare go near zir, fearing the Dark One’s Wrath more than zir. The only thing to be done for it was to stitch it up and bend the ring back into form as best ze could, He would be livid otherwise. Zir hand was broken for well over four months and festered, nearly getting an infection, which was easy enough to do in Hell. It was like anything Beelzebub tried to do to fix zirself wouldn’t work. 

And when it came to his Wrath it wouldn’t ebb for a very long time and resulted in either random violent acts on zir that rote more damage or Lucifer ordering zir around by talking about zir as though ze weren’t there. The Prince couldn’t be bothered to think if this was all over zir transgression or if it was indeed all because ze linked zirself to Gabriel. It could have easily been both. 

But ze wouldn’t let anyone take zir pointless little ring away from zir though, it was no one else's but the Prince’s. Ze would not give it up even to Satan, solely based on the fact that it was gifted to zir. It was only for zir. 

***************************** 

“You did keep it though.” 

“Of courze I bloody well kept it. I kept it because it’s all but fuzed to my fucking finger...and it is mine. It’s a material object and I’m a God Damned demon of Gluttony. How it relates back to you is inconsequential.” Ze tried to look anywhere but him but that was difficult when the being you’re trying to avoid was front and center and very close. Not letting go. 

With a snap of his fingers the ring was no longer so, it wasn’t bent out of shape and the etchings were back in perfect swoops. It was as though it had never happened. Even the small flies were looking a little happier than ze remembered. The Prince’s eyes grew wide and ze felt as though a small weight had been lifted from off zir chest that Beelzebub hadn’t known ze were carrying for so long. It felt as though ze could breathe again. Just a little easier. 

Zir eyes snapped back onto the Messenger of God and ze stalled...ze just looked into his warm eyes for a moment... 

“I’ve made it so that it can withstand any pressure or fires, it should be fairly safe from everything but Hellfire actually.” He looked over his angelic handiwork with a small gentle smile, ignoring Beelzebub’s uncertainty and feeling of being lost. 

Once more, ze didn’t know how to handle his angelic nature and felt that little unseen tether pull at zir, terrifying zir. The Prince schooled zir features into zir usual dissatisfied scowl. The diminutive demon was going to pay for this. Ze looked in his eyes and recognized that strange softness and steeled zir heart against it.

“Fucking end me...” 

“Bee...” 

Zir already glowering face scrunched up, squared zir shoulders, and growled as the Prince stormed off. Ze needed to get away from the Archangel who was back in zir life. Beelzebub could feel it in the marrow of zir bones that nothing good was going to come of this situation and ze were not ready. 

“Wait up!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special shoutout to Ginerva_Snape! hehehe I liked the idea of Raguel getting humiliated by Gabriel...but more publicly. He was going to be in this chapter/story, also had plans to make mention of it because he WOULD be sooooo butthurt, so I though it would be hilarious to see him being caught being a pissant. (I don't know how he turned out this way! I didn't think I would dislike him so! He gets worse........) But I altered what I had planned to happen and when he would get his little recap because of you. Just because you made me laugh with what you wrote and we had such similar thoughts. THANK YOU! I hope you approve and like it!
> 
> Comments help me thrive. Any kind of comments, good and constructive (please go easy on me...), or ridiculous, I LOVE silly comments.


	2. Keep Your Eyes On Thine Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heaven and Hell confer about how to handle their current joint effort that they are about to embark on. Gabriel has other things on his mind to ask the Prince while concern laces his mind over the other members of their unwilling party. Beelzebub is just trying to run things efficiently but, as ze are learning, Gabriel tends to drain zir to ruin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is doing okay in all this!
> 
> TW: Intentional misgendering.
> 
> There may be a veiled Basic Instincts joke in there...
> 
> I went over this chapter several times because I'm just nervous about military tactics. They really aren't my forte. (It's way too early but I think I just made a pun and I don't know how I feel about it yet.)
> 
> I am not a military expert nor an angel/demon expert. I tried to make this gathering sound like something one would expect of a war council but I'm only a military brat that had old war shows playing in the background as a kid. The numbers of souls I used were what were the numbers for a battle in the civil war, so that's interesting. I feel like I'm both holding my breath over this chapter because I know it's long and I have no confidence so I at least hope you enjoy the drivel. 
> 
> This era was SLIGHTLY unplanned and I had to think about a reason to have the two meet again and thought along the lines of Roanoke and Dudleytown, two settlements that vanished into what seemed like thin air. And though Roanoke has a high potential of valid explanations like being overthrown by the native people Dudleytown...has a lot more mystery about it. But both are being slightly re-purposed for my story. Though I promised dresses and I swear there will be dresses.
> 
> Please stay safe!

Their encampments had been a ways off from each other on the other side of the valley, like a celestial/infernal barricade to the little village. It wouldn’t do well to have the sides too close but on the other side of the humans was good. 

And it was not so much for issues with fraternizing, but each side had that grudge as old as time to avoid flaring. The only one who seemed completely unfazed by this was the Archangel Gabriel, of course. He and a select few others he could trust to hold their tongue and keep their civility would travel to the land between for the war council. 

By order of Michael, Gabriel was not allowed to work alone with the opposition, and never unguarded. He had to be protected as he was their leader, his Pride put him in danger as much as his trust of a tiny Prince, according to the warrior Archangel. Hell’s agents were simply not to be trusted and Michael was suspicious of Gabriel’s previous time spent in the company of Prince Beelzebub. She still did not know anything about what the two had struck between themselves and only that Gabriel stayed with zir for what Michael considered a dubious amount of time. 

However, all this was normal etiquette when working with an enemy or foreign forces. You never trusted the other to leave your leaders alone. 

In Gabriel’s outfit were his brother, Zaphkiel, the Dominion, Hashmal, and the Principality, Aziraphale, who seemed to have caught Gabriel’s eye for two reasons. One, he seemed to be on the up and up in his good deeds recently, a capable angel, and being a Principality he had fighting skills even if he appeared a little soft to the Archangel. Truthfully, he had been behaving a bit oddly for an angel, but Gabriel figured it was due to his time on Earth, gone a bit native, but he seemed to have endeavored to work harder in Her name recently. The second, he was strong and reasonable, even if a little neurotic. However, that was all eclipsed by the fact that he also knew well about demons, firsthand, if his notes on the demon Crowley were anything to go by. 

And in regards to a certain side project, though this wasn’t exactly a relevant reason to factor in now, he knew about the herb that had drugged Beelzebub. 

Gabriel had figured that he could, in private when there was a moment, collect the necessary information Aziraphale had requested and hopefully be able to relay the full information to Beelzebub. Maybe give zir Peace or a warning to steer clear of such a malicious ingredient, as well as learn more about it in relations to celestial beings for Heaven’s sake. 

Whatever the case, the Leader if God’s angels and his compartment met with five of Hell’s. 

They were Prince Beelzebub, zir Dukes Dagon and Ligur, Duke Zepar, and Zepar’s Prince, Asmodeus. As it was his realm that had been hit the hardest in relation to the escaped, he was sent as a representative. He had been livid once he learned of his losses, too drunk on his own Sins to notice at first and lashed out before bringing it to the Dark Council to do anything about it. 

It had been Beelzebub who presided over the War council on Hell’s behalf and Gabriel was Heaven’s. 

However, despite how well the two fell into step with each other, others of both sides bumped heads both with each other and the two heads. 

“I don’t understand why we are accepting aide from these twats. We can handle it on our own.” Prince Asmodeus snapped. 

“Yes, you have proven how well you keep hold over your domain, brother Asmodeus. Even the mortals bear witness to your great skill.” Beelzebub reprimanded though sounded bored, zir patience was already used up on aggravating Archangels. One Archangel. 

“Prince Asmodeus, we-” 

“Fuck off or fuck me, angel.” Asmodeus drawled with his heavy-lidded eyes and golden curls. He looked a bit like Raguel in some ways. Chest length brown curly hair, to Raguel’s shoulder length, but the same shade. Both had deep brown eyes, cold in Asmodeus’s that was thick with Lust while Raguel’s were warm and inquisitive. They both had a sharp nose but Asmodeus’s was more pert and slim. Where Raguel had a goatee and mustache the Prince of Lust had a smooth clean face, just as delicate looking if Raguel would ever shave his off. Though Raguel didn’t have the high cheekbones that the demon had, his were more round and youthful. The resemblance was a bit jarring. 

“You will answer when spoken to so that we may actually get something done, Prince Asmodeus.” 

“Do you kowtow to these angelic cocks then, Beelzebub?” 

“I bend to no one but our King. And our King and Mazter haz decreed we work with the wank-wingz upstairs.” Ze glared daggers at him and slammed both knuckles on the table between the two groups. 

“Yezzzz. I’ve zzzzeeenn that, Zzzzzizter.” 

Beelzebub growled and sent out a wave of energy that was explosive and set fire to the other Prince’s arm. Usually fire would have minimum effect on a denizen of Hell but this was a special fire, one that rotted away at the one who touched it. Asmodeus sprung forward from his chair in pain, clutching at it, Zepar covering the flame with his jacket that began to rot away too. 

It was not something that could be commanded or smothered by any but Beelzebub and perhaps zir King, at least that was something ze were certain of. 

“Let’z not play any further, we have work to do and we need to figure out who we’re sending to continue to scout the renegadez’ path.” Ze said, dismissing the fire, dismissing the act that ze had just wrote upon the sneering Prince of Lust like it wasn’t even a passing thought. Gabriel and the other angels stared at the tiny Hellion with a mix of fear or intrigue. Even the other demons looked on in fear. But Beelzebub’s gaze was already on the map before zir. “Back to tazk.” 

Gabriel had wanted to chastise the demon for his rudeness and for what seemed like a barb thrown at Beelzebub for zir way of speaking. For some reason that latter bit made him more irritated than the first. Asmodeus, so far, hadn’t exhibited anything particularly different about his speech patterns, though the Archangel had noticed it to be a thing for other demons as well as his tiny wife. It wasn’t new information that demons had speech impediments so he couldn’t figure why one of their own kind would harass another about theirs. He had also assumed it would be viewed as normal down below. 

And yet still, someone making note of it as though it was a fault of the Prince’s always rubbed Gabriel the wrong way. This made him a bit more upset than he thought he had right to be but validated it as something that God would wish him to be righteous about. However, witnessing how Beelzebub had handled it gave him comfort and reminded him ze were capable of handling zir own. 

-Does she have to deal with this all the time? 

He switched his attentions back onto his infernal counterpart’s voice and listened as ze relayed the info of how far zir side had tracked the escapees. The pass that they appeared to be heading for would bottleneck them into the valley but would require them to put up a boundary to keep them from getting into the nearby village. It was one of the growing settlements the humans had in what the mortals of European descent would consider “the New World” though it was already well inhabited by many. 

However, if the oncoming Damned weren’t stopped before it reached the village it would wipe out the humans with ease. 

It wasn’t the first time something like this occurred where escapes from Hell had eviscerated a village when left unchecked. He had heard of the bloodshed that the demons had rained on the humans and Damned alike in the Roanoke settlement. It had happened a few years after he had left the Prince and he was surprised ze were tasked with something so huge so soon. 

Reading through the files on it he learned that Beelzebub had been in charge of the operation. But someone on zir side had aligned themselves with the renegades in the midst of battle and made an attempt on the Prince. 

That did not go well for any. 

They had been a Duke high up on the ladder and had his legions turn on Beelzebub. It was utter carnage. But it ended when the fight spilled into the settlement and Beelzebub was the only being to be found on the field. No one but the Prince of Gluttony knows what happened, not even Lucifer nor the one who appeared to be most trusted Duke, Dagon. 

To say Gabriel had been impressed by the sheer numbers of the missing and vanquished was an understatement but he was upset that so many innocents of the settlers and indigenous people were snuffed out and completely gone. Eyes were not on the ground and what Sandalphon could glean was nothing but static on the decks. NO souls were collected from that night and so Gabriel would have questions for zir. 

Due to this very bizarre incident Heaven and Hell had reached an accord. Lucifer wanted backing. He found it in the angels, whether if it was to keep close eyes on His little Lieutenant or to entrap zir, only He knew. 

“From what we’ve gleaned from the oncoming enemy is that this is roughly twenty-seven hundred souls. That’s still a nineteen hundred short and our eyes have only identified four of the ringleaders that have taken control of this first wave.” 

“Utterly useless.” Zaphkiel whispered from his place beside his brother. 

Gabriel, believing this was unbecoming of an angel to criticize in this situation, endeavored to correct his sibling. It was improper when a commanding officer was speaking, even if it was the enemy. “Brother, show-” 

“I see you’ve only turned up a month and a half AFTER we were expecting your kind, Archange Zaphkiel. You could have been doing a far less uzelezzz job of such a task and maybe have headed them off at the Falls. Had you been here.” Beelzebub mocked still sounding disinterested and without looking up. 

“Prince Beelzebub, forgive-” 

“I will do no such thing, Archangel Gabriel. If everyone could shut the fuck up, we can get on with this.” Ze wouldn’t even look at him and he felt irked by zir behavior. “Now, we have the advantage of the passage and the fighting skills but they have desperation, numbers, and the unknown on their side. We have not been able to get another to infiltrate their people and come back. We can either assume they are being held hostage by a greater force or have switched loyalties. If their numbers are growing with infernal forces it will prove frustrating.” 

“What do you suggest if they are turned?” Asked Aziraphale, with a look of worry on his face. 

The Prince raised an eyebrow, but appeared unfazed, “Destroy them. Or discorporate them back to Hell. The disloyal have no place amongst our rank.” 

“But what if they’re under some sort of control?” He queried again, earning looks of confusion and raised eyebrows from all. This also earned him a curious look from Gabriel, he wasn’t quite certain where Aziraphale’s concerns were over. A Dead demon was one less demon, and a mind-controlled demon was still one less demon if disposed of. 

“Then they will find Death or discorporation preferable, Principality.” 

-Death is the only true kindness... 

This gloomy revelation of sorts was disturbing to the pale-haired Principality and he could not help but put his fingers to the corner of his mouth in concern. Well, not concern, that wouldn’t do, but mild worry over a fri-AQUAINTED NEMESIS!!! He nearly missed what happened next in his fretting for the golden eyed and flaming red haired frie-FIEND of his. 

Not that he was fretting, mind you, he didn’t even know where the dear wiley boy was, but he was still...concerned for the serpent. 

Gabriel got up from his side, Beelzebub had been in the middle, and got close enough to invade zir personal space. Ze didn’t recoil but Dagon immediately drew to attention and a few others of the demonic faction either glued their eyes to the Archangel or shifted uncomfortably in their seats. The Prince still didn’t look at him even though everyone knew what a dangerous position ze were in with the Leader of the enemy. 

“We have archers that can take to the mountain ridge on the other side of the valley.” He pointed to the ridge that held quite an elevation. “It will be more efficient to cover from above.” 

“You plan to only loose arrows into the Damned? Because that’s all you wank-wings got. Holy Water has been banned from these fields.” The tall bald one, Ligur, gruffly called out from his spot at the table. 

“Of course. We aren’t back-stabbing reprobates.” Gabriel countered. 

“You hear that? Prissy-foot says they ain’t back-stabbing reprobates.” He huffed out a strangled laugh and a few other followed suite. Beelzebub remained quiet and impassive as if ze had better things to do. 

“If there are any demon or Fallen amongst their rank they will sense your celestial lot up there in the brush.” The Prince countered, blank faced but shook zir head at the suggestion. 

“And you’re not allowed to use your Heavenly blessed abilities to remain unnoticed, cunts.” Asmodeus snipped. 

“What if we come from high enough above? The skies?” 

“Using the clouds? Can your kind alter the weather and keep it stable?” Something was already percolating in Beelzebub’s mind about cover. 

“Of course, anything from stratus to cumulonimbus clouds. Take your pick, your Highness.” The Archangel was admittedly getting excited about calling forth the clouds that could hide the fleet, but he kept his features as schooled as the Prince at his side. 

“Cumulus will do. It will be high up enough to keep your auras masked, having...’Faith’ in your archers aiming skills....” Beelzebub arched zir eyebrows at zir choice of words and Gabriel couldn’t help the tick that quirked his lips at zir. 

“Please, Prince Beelzebub, keep that ‘Faith’ in my word to you and I will show you in deeds.” 

Almost as though ze were trying to avoid looking at him ze grunted and tilted zir head a little, keeping the ox-sized angel partially out of sight. Drawing zir lips into a thin line ze eyed the map before them. 

Everyone else was distracted not by the plans unfolding but how the two handled the meeting. Even Aziraphale had been pulled from his thoughts to witness how odd the pair were. 

“What of our foot soldiers? If you suspect that they’ll sense us how do we deal with that?” 

This was something Beelzebub had already thought of and a wicked spark flared in zir eyes before snuffing out, almost completely. 

“How are you at holding your breath, Archangel?” It was a rhetorical question as everyone knew that ethereals of both sides didn’t need to breathe. The turn of phrase made Asmodues and Zepar snort like children while Aziraphale held his tongue. 

Ze pointed to a river not far from where zir unit would be stationed. It drew close on both sides of the pass by nearly eight hundred meters and then swooped out wide further into the valley. It was good for flanking both sides of the pass and supporting lines towards the back and, if it had been sanctioned for this campaign, blessing it to host Holy Water. It could have easily dissolved any demon in the group but souls were different when it came to such angelic blessings. They could possibly ascend from purifying them which was highly inadvisable. 

“It’s far enough away that we can permit more than half of their forces to squeezze in and trap the rest within the pazzage. My forces will spring from the ground and can handle the ones that will surge forward while Prince Asmodeus and his infantry can take them out from behind.” 

“With my army in front of yours, even while just beneath ground level, it will conceal your men. We’ll be shielding each other in essence. They’ll be confused and have a delayed reaction time.” 

“The fuck would I want to want to shield an angel?” 

Asmodeus drawled out his anger, nursing his arm even still. The rot would need to be attended to by a healer and the burning pain would affect him for hours after.

“Because they, in turn, shield us. Our auras cancel each other’s out, or haven’t you noticed, you fuck wit?” Ze snapped but zir face hadn’t changed even a fraction, “It’s an advantage I intend to use. So, while your swarm standby in Hell, we keep the Heavenly battalions Topside covered.” 

“You would lay in wait to allow them access to the valley?” Hashmel asked, genuinely curious about whether a demon could stay still for that long. 

“The passage z’not that long. And while I’d like to have them vanquished back to Hell in one fell swoop, we don’t have that option. Hellfire doesn’t seem to work on them as they are Damned. Bottlenecking them allows us control, bring them over with the temptation of fresh bodies so close and they’ll forget themzelvezz.” Ze responded, “Z’not like they will be much of a match for our fighting skills.” 

“How can you be sure? There are more than twice our size put together.” The Archangel with hair the color of sand asked, “And you don’t seem to be fully aware of their other abilities, who’s to say they haven’t acquired new ones to fly over mountains or dig through them. We were told they dug from their assumedly impervious cell.” 

“Damned souls don’t just sprout wings nor are they capable of Hellish abilities like erupting through the Earth. They dug out, yes, but with two thousand that would be too much to handle for occult magics in short time. They’ll want to go the easiest route.” 

“Are there any particular souls that could have the ability to do so?” Zaphkiel asked. “Any amongst the ranks or missing Fallen?” 

“They did have a witch that was driven mad amongst their number, they can do a great deal of damage. Discorporation by word is a rumored skill.” 

“Do you think that the Damned are capable of such feats, Prince Beelzebub?” The lavender eyed Archangel asked, looking to zir and Beelzebub finally met his eyes and he saw only indifference reflected in them. It was strange to see zir so closed off from him. He could make neither heads nor tails of what was going on within zir. 

“You don’t just get Damned to Hell and escape it while being incapable, Archangel Gabriel.” Ze turned to him more fully, “Desperation makes you do foolish and seemingly impossible things. It can make you do things that are unthinkable and make pacts and weapons more powerful and dangerous than realized til it’s too late, even if it’s most likely to cause you great harm or destruction.” 

Gabriel’s eyes tried to evaluate the tiny being before him, swathed in black and eyes as blue as the skies he called home. “You sound as though you know what that’s like.” 

“I am the Prince of the Fallen and the Damned.” 

“More like Queen of the Damned.” Asmodeus chortled and huffed, stretching his long legs out on the table to cross and recross them. His boots bore a thinner heel than most that didn’t look as though it could function in the mud and soft dirt of the area without a demonic miracle. Gabriel and the other angels gave him a look of awkward disgust as they noticed something off about the Lust demon’s pants. 

Beelzebub clenched zir eyes shut not interested to know but certain of a travesty, judging from the looks being thrown across the table. 

“How long do we have to prepare for their arrival.” Gabriel tried to redirect the conversation back to the matter at hand but could not stop from glaring down Asmodeus who appeared to croon in his direction. Duke Zepar raised a well-shaped eyebrow at the Archangel and puckered his lips at him. 

“If they keep at their current clip, two days.” Duke Ligur spouted, eyeing the soft cream puff looking angel that was Aziraphale up and down. “Barring they stay the course.” 

“And if they don’t?” Zaphkiel asked, adjusting his already perfect great coat. 

“Our forces are ready to deploy to make chase. Everyone in our camp is already chomping at the bit for a scrap of meat. You angels should be weary.” Beelzebub side-eyed the Archangel by zir shoulder at that, “However, this is the closest settlement of any kind. They will come.” Beelzebub declared with a quiet finality. 

Gabriel could see that Beelzebub was trying to remain impassive but ze had small tells that showed zir desire to do something too. Zir knuckles on the table kept grinding into the wood every now and then, a very quiet sigh would escape zir small mouth, the Prince would worry zir lip, and lastly zir eyes would twitch. He felt the need to alleviate zir tension but was uncertain as to how while watched. The first thing he could think of was getting zir out from under Prince Asmodeus’s odd stare. He appeared to be constantly watching zir all throughout the meeting, with unveiled...interest. 

“Your Highness, I think we’ve done enough for today. We should retire to our respective camps and inform our troops of the plan.” 

“Yez, whatever, dizzmizzzed.” Ze waved zir hands and stormed out of the tent before Gabriel could utter another word and as he attempted to follow zir Dagon was in his way. 

“She said you were dismissed, Archangel Gabriel.” 

He didn’t even wait or give an answer before making his way around the fish demon to follow the much shorter infernal creature. The Duke followed him, barking for him to back off and bugger off, and was followed by the other Archangel, quiet Dominion, and portly Principality in worry. With every celestial and occult being leaving the tent as they did it was like a tiny odd circus had come to the valley. 

“Prince Beelzebub? Might I have a word with you?” Gabriel called as he was halfway to catching up. 

“No.” 

“Excuse me, your Highness, but please, do me the honor of allowing me a moment of your time in private.” He held out his hand to zir just as before, hat removed and to his chest as was seen proper decorum of a gentleman. And if there was anything that Gabriel believed of angels is that they should be gentle beings. 

Beelzebub eyed the hand and then the Archangel waiting for zir, ze glanced over at the train of ethereal beings tailing them and then the angel once more. 

“Can’t act like that here, Archangel.” 

Beelzebub felt zir heart begin to react to such a soft gesture and shut it off, immediately. It was a useless function for the likes of a demon and a joke if you asked zir. Ze couldn’t afford it and hated the confused look that came to Gabriel’s face or the fact that it even affected zir in the first place. 

-He’s only acting how he thinks he should act. You’re the one being a fucking idiot! Fucking all worked up over it. Just get the fuck out of here. 

“Fuck off back to your side.” Ze began to go when Gabriel got before zir again. 

“Your Highness, please, I have a few questions that I wish to ask about a previous engagement between our factions.” He gave zir a not so subtle look and ze were regretting still being present. 

“Oh, sod off, angel! I don’t have time for your angelic behaviors.” Ze growled. “What do you want to do? Hold hands and declare our feelings for one another? Here’s mine. I hate you. Good enough?” 

Ze tried to storm away, feeling desperation whirling in zir aura and trying to hold on to zir indifference and hold of zir emotions like zir life depended on it. Beelzebub pointedly ignored how hurt Gabriel looked and stomped onward. Wanting to give anything to be anywhere and not have him get under zir skin. 

The Prince of Hell had thought ze would be so much better than this, able to ignore anything and everything, and yet ze were so painfully wrong despite two thousand years time between. Seeing the Archangel again had brought up SO many different things ze were not prepared to even acknowledge nor knew existed. There were so many unfamiliar and irrational things that kept flying at zir just by being in his presence. 

And so Beelzebub tried everything ze could to stay as far from him as possible. 

Lucifer would already be pissed at zir for even breathing the same air as him. The fact that he had already managed to lay hands on zir was so much worse. And once more, on meeting again, ze let him. 

The ring...Gabriel fixing zir ring, as though it was nothing to him and feeling literally Heaven blessedly sent to zir, was going to make life back in Hell...well...Hell. Nothing good would come from interacting with the angel. 

And yet... 

“Prince Beelzebub, must I beg?” He quirked his lip up in a half smile and Beelzebub grunted to keep zirself from swallowing. 

-Fuck me, this is going to be the worst. 

“Fine!” Ze held up a hand getting Dagon to stop worrying their hands and following zir. Ligur was not far behind though he was still eyeing the Principality Aziraphale with a confused look about him. Asmodeus was behind with his Duke and his glowing eyes were traveling the length of both Gabriel and his fellow Prince, an inquisitive look about his Lust-filled eyes. He and Zepar had laughed at watching the scene unfold before them, never having witnessed Beelzebub react so viscerally to anything. “Duke Dagon, ensure my brother and the rest of our people head back to camp.” 

“Zaphkiel, if you, Hashmal, and Aziraphale could return to base.” 

“Brother?” All three angels looked worriedly on. Aziraphale was the least familiar with Hell’s forces and had no clue about Gabriel’s previous interactions with the tiny infernal being, and though Gabriel was a bit much in Aziraphale’s opinion, he cared still for his over-exuberant supervisor. 

“All will be well.” He smiled an all too soft smile, foolish in everyone’s opinion, prideful for believing himself safe in the presence of Beelzebub. None knowing of their deal that was struck nor their status. 

He waved them off and both parties departed reluctantly. Dagon looked like they were going to have a fit over leaving the Prince. Ze knew enough about Gabriel’s scent to recognize him from before, memorized it after witnessing Lucifer’s reaction to Beelzebub’s return. It wasn’t just it being an angel that had evoked their King’s rage, no, Dagon knew enough about how Beelzebub had smelled after meeting zir in the art studio to know it wasn’t just angel scum touching zir. It was far worse than just that. And whatever it was all led back to the himbo standing before the Prince asking for zir hand and accompaniment now. 

They feared for the Prince. 

That didn’t matter though, there was already damage done by him being there, and only Dagon had those facts filed away in their own brain. Thankfully the only other ones who even had an inkling of the Prince of Hell’s predicament was a serpent who could smell zir sin and really wished he hadn’t, and Lucifer. 

The two powerful beings stayed where they were, one eyeing the other with uncertain cold blue eyes and the other with an appraising lavender gaze. He wanted to know more about Roanoke, how ze were after he last saw zir, and even about how ze were holding up now, witnessing how zir own people heckled zir in an important meeting was frustrating for him, as both zir husband and a leader. He was beginning to understand why ze had such dark circles under zir eyes even still but had other pressing questions for zir. 

“How are you?” That was not what he meant to escape...but the singer at the back of his mind quieted down as though expecting an answer and so he thought there was no turning back now. “Truthfully, Bee.” 

Ze eyed him as though he had just recited an incantation in Lilium. 

He nervously began to rub his hand over his face but stopped and began to wave his hand about at zir, hand on hip. “Are they like that all the time?” 

“Iz thiz-is this what you followed me out for?” 

“No. I just...Prince Asmodeus, he can’t seem to...” 

“He is the embodiment of Lust and he looks at everyone like that.” Ze eyed him trying to figure out what exactly was he getting at. “...Did he make you uncomfortable?” A note of worry actually escaped with the question. Ze wouldn’t want to subject anyone to such things unwanted. 

“He does, but I’m...has he ever touched yo-?” 

“He’zz not allowed to touch me. No one elzze iz.” Ze felt the shiver that always seemed to plague zir corporation rush over zir frame, the angel at zir side took notice and put his hands on zir shoulders but stood far away. And yet, Beelzebub felt a little bit of warmth begin to pool at Gabriel’s fingertips and that soothing aura try to wrap zir up, like he had all those years before. 

“Good.” He bent down just a little to get zir to look in his eyes as ze had been looking everywhere else but him. “Bee, if he tries anything here...I won’t let him touch you, you know that right?” 

His stare was too laced with concern, with confusing care and after too long of being without anything even remotely like it ze felt zirself drained from trying to figure it out. Ze couldn’t handle it. The tiny Prince that had forged zir existence through Hell and Hellfire didn’t know how to handle it. Ze wanted and repelled from it and almost felt zir body physically recoil from Gabriel. 

It wasn’t supposed to happen, and he wasn’t supposed to care and it would only result in zir pain, from whichever bastard happened to have a strange hold on zir, whether him or Lucifer. 

Ze jerked in his grip and shook zir head, before glaring him down, having zir fit. “Is this some sort of strange tactic you’ve thought up in order to get me killed?” 

“No...Why would you ask something like that? We made a promise.” The shift in zir behavior was too sudden and the Archangel wasn’t certain how to handle it. “Who’s trying to kill you?” His concern suddenly bubbled up as the words processed in his brain. 

“I’ve had it with your blessed promise. Why does Lucifer seem to have a particular stick up his arse about you?” 

“What?” 

“Why does He hate you so?” 

They stared at each other for a long time. Something broke in Gabriel’s eyes and Beelzebub felt as though ze recognized it all too well and tried, once again, to step back but couldn’t loosen his grip before the words spilled from his mouth. 

“I thought my brother Loved me...Before, that is. I truly don't know.” 

Chills. Chills and vitriol and pain coursed through Beelzebub and ze finally broke from his grip as though burned. Ze hated the Archangel before zir for being so gullible, for Her making him so gullible, for once being as foolish as the soft angel was. 

-Your brother’s Love is a fucking LIE and shite! 

“You’re best without it, pigeon.” Ze spat. 

The Prince couldn’t look him in the eyes. If ze did it would be all too real. It would mean they had both fell for a trap and ze wondered what the Morningstar could have done to Gabriel to make him look so crushed. Ze were in their own shambles but instead of standing in the ruin of His ‘Love’ ze were forced to have it inflicted on zir whenever He felt the need to shower zir in it. Ze felt desolate and hollowed out, there was just too much going on in zir head and an annoying buzz came from zir as ze tried to head out to zir side of the valley. 

Beelzebub couldn’t stop zir face from contorting up in rage and turned to go. 

“Bee, wait!” 

“We’re done here.” 

“Please! Just wait.” He got in front of zir again but didn’t put a hand on zir, “I wanted to tell you that I have someone in my ranks who may be able to help identify what was given to you in Italy. He only had a few more questions about what you tasted.” 

“You told?!” 

“I had no choice, but he doesn’t know who you are nor what happened to you. I promise, he will never know that.” He held up his hands, eyes wide. “He’ll never know, no one in Heaven does either.” 

Ze looked away from him and the Demon Prince took several steadying breaths before the Archangel held out his hands to zir, waiting for zir to take them. 

“I wouldn’t betray you like that.” 

He needed zir to know that he would protect zir in those instances. He didn’t understand the compulsion but he adhered to it. He never wanted zir to be defenseless against something like that ever again. 

“It’z no longer relevant.” Ze could only stare him down, hand on the hilt of zir blade and trying to stand as tall as ze could despite being so short. 

“Bee, that’s not true.” 

“Why do you care?” Ze were suddenly so tired and he hadn’t been in back in zir space for more than twenty-four hours yet. 

“Do you think I couldn’t after seeing what happened? You didn’t deserve that. I mean, no one does, but not even a demon deserves that.” 

And Beelzebub felt the danger of breaking all over again crashing over zir. Ze didn’t understand how he held such sway, didn’t think ze would ever be affected by such words, but ze knew ze had to get away from him and quick. Being vulnerable like this in a place and time like this was unacceptable. 

“Zave your-” 

“Stop.” He crouched down further to truly be at zir eye level and chased zir gaze. “I don’t pity you, I just know that you didn’t deserve it. No one does. And I’m going to ensure it doesn’t ever befall you again.” 

Beelzebub shut up. Ze stopped zir heart, zir breathing, and bit down on the inside of zir mouth so hard that there was blood. Done with zir human looking teeth made it that much more painful and ze were able to focus on that pain instead of the feelings Gabriel was evoking within, feelings ze didn’t think ze could feel. Ze had to stop the torrent somehow. 

-How are you doing this?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?! 

“Enough!” Ze snapped, glaring him down, black ichor spittle at zir mouth that ze wiped away in haste. “Now iz not the time for thiz and I will not tell you.” 

He knew he couldn’t get anything out of zir aura, zir essence was all pulled back long before, but he was learning those looks in zir cold Heavenly blues betrayed zir to him. He hadn’t been wrong before, he was certain of it. 

“Okay.” He held up his hands that ze hadn’t taken when offered. “Later. Later you will tell me.” 

And ze stormed away without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, concerns about my mental health as you read the terrible things that I write are all welcome. Comments on things that made you laugh brighten my day 100000008% and I will always try to comment back. Your comments are appreciated.
> 
> If I missed any trigger warnings I'd really appreciate being told so I can correct that in my previous notes. 
> 
> I hope you're all doing okay and I hope to hear from you <3
> 
> I had to go back and edit (sometimes I do and to make sure things are cohesive) and I just saw a typo that has had me laughing on and off for 3 minutes now. I apologize for making Aziraphale a narcotic....that's not what I meant.


	3. All Is Fair In Favors & War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and a small band of his angels get a little too up close and personal with the opposition a day before the battle. Usually cool headed and careful to think every move through, Prince Beelzebub allows the over-exuberant angel in on zir side's little demonic games of blood-letting and forgets zirself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...........I admit I didn't know where to put this at first but I wanted them to let off steam and........THINGS GOT CARRIED AWAY!!! And now things could maybe get cut with a knife it's that thick.....I figured it was before the first battle though because no one on either side would straggle (well except Gabriel).
> 
> Honestly, this chapter had no place to really go but help build....tension....::side eyes self:: Yep....
> 
> Please tell me what you think as I laugh at myself. I also nearly second guessed myself from posting this not 5 minutes ago (dear anxiety...what are you doing to me? Did I do this to myself?) I also admit to having a ton of fun with this one as it brought me back to my stage fighting days and now I really miss it.

The following afternoon into the next day was full of drills and briefings of the different squads and their plans that had been decided on at the War council. The angels were very efficient once they knew what they were doing, prepping and familiarizing themselves with the area and what could go wrong. There were naturally secondary plans installed in case things got out of hand, knowing their enemy as they did the angels didn’t think this was an unnecessary precaution; demons would be demons, so it would be foolish not to have a contingency plan. 

Gabriel and Uriel worked to put together a team to scout out the progress of the oncoming army of souls from the Observation deck at Head Office. The Archangels believed it the best way to determine if their course would change. If so, they would be alerted, and Gabriel intended to inform Beelzebub’s side to pursue immediately. 

However, the day after left not much else to do. 

The other angels were sent to run drills and train but one particular angel was too curious about what the opposition was doing in their last day before Hell would essentially ‘break loose,’ as it were. The morning was glowing and there were several celestials that were already speaking of anxieties of what the other party were up to. And so, Gabriel thought it best to get a better look at their adversaries in their preparations for battle, it would be good insight, but it didn’t turn out how they assumed it would. 

Those on watch had noticed throughout the last day that the demons were already in the valley in groups. Some had set traps that weren’t really that nefarious or good, things that would have been more likely to have blown out in the wind. Then there were some that had gone too big and had to be reprimanded by an angry general or two. And then there was Asmodeus...indulging or trying to incite Lust in his fellow demons that he deemed good enough for his attentions at the moment. Thankfully he was easy enough to see to avoid and the angels knew he wasn’t off wrecking havoc in the settlement, beyond. (It was one of those good but incredibly unfortunate things in nearly all the angel’s and a certain Prince’s opinion.) 

There were other things to observe of their demonic counterparts though. A great deal of things, like their destructiveness or their finicky, almost neurotic behaviors. 

One of the things that had the angels completely off their heads about was the fact that the demon faction seemed unable to sit still long enough. They trained or conspired, even against each other, or they blew off steam by brutalizing each other in one on one combat. 

This facet was something that the angels were fascinated by, watching their cut-throat behavior even if it was from the nearby ridge. It didn’t matter who, all were involved and, save discorporation, everything was fair game (though fair wasn’t exactly a demon thing so...they may have been in need of a few Erics at the least.). Gabriel, just as drawn to the enemy to learn about them, was not immune to watching them. The Archangel would watch on as the enemies of Heaven would engage in nearly unreigned bloodlust against each other, see them hoot and holler. 

Though not welcomed they weren’t shunned from the distance they took on their watch. You couldn’t tell the angels they were spying, though, as any would tell you they were in plain view, ‘thank you very much.’ 

It could be seen that in the center of everything the tall and sinuous Duke Dagon was engaged in a fight against another, one Duke Vual, of Asmodeus’s rule, it was like watching water and fire move against each other. They seemed evenly matched in skill though opposites in element and just as willing as the other to take their pound of flesh. 

The scaled demon had a cut to their shoulder, brackish blood leaking from it and staining their already dirty shirts while the one who looked as though he had a camel head on his cocked hat had several down his torn jacket. Dagon’s breeches had a gash in the thigh that was deep and the blood flowed and dripped down into their stockings, making it look as though they had a grungy grey and one near black. Gabriel couldn’t help but grimace at how the camel demon’s coat had been shredded to ribbons and stained in stripes. But the angel continued to watch on and the demons continued their melee. 

It wasn’t until Beelzebub’s Duke cut into the fabric of their opponent’s duster and dug their blade’s edge into the side of his neck that a call was made to halt. The fight was won and Dagon was the winner. Cheers and jeers were thrown out as the two waited for the signs that their opponent would fall back and relinquish their power oover the other. Other’s threw stones and sticks into the ring as in displeasure or for the Hell of it. 

“Ceaze! That’z enough of that.” Beelzebub shouted to the crowd as the two didn’t move. 

The tiny Prince only came up to the Dukes’ shoulders but ze stalked between the two without a care, pushing Dagon’s blade off Vual’s shoulder. “Ztop being a bunch of twatzz and move along. You’ve won, Dagon.” 

Gabriel wasn’t close but he could see that Beelzebub was, indeed, pleased with zir subordinate. Zir scowl was deep but that light in zir eyes was clear to him, even from his distance. 

“Let’s get closer.” He beckoned with his head to the Principality and his siblings and the Dominion, already making his way to the edge of the encampment despite Uriel and Aziraphale’s protests and dismay. The other two kept tacit and their own frowns, following orders, though wishing to not get closer to the degenerate demons. 

They nearly marched down into the gathering, startling many a demon or earning glares meant to induce fear, but those things didn’t quite work on this particular Archangel. The rest of his own soldiers did not give anything away as they got closer, not even Aziraphale who locked his lips and eyed the infernal beings...looking for a familiar face. 

“Go back to you own side, wank-wings!” 

“Get fucked you angelic prigs!” 

“Fly back to mummy!” 

Beelzebub turned to see what the commotion was on about and yell at who was responsible when ze saw Gabriel and his merry celestials all but march to the edge of the impromptu ring. Hackles internally raising but keeping everything buried deep within, the Prince turned zir scowl on the Archangel leading them to the circle’s edge, keeping zir position, hand resting on the hilt of zir blade. 

“What do you fuckz want?” 

“Wanted a closer look. Is it really so smart to allow your troops to engage in this?” He waved his hand around at the surging group of what could be called ordered chaos, “these depraved and violent acts?” 

Dagon and a few others laughed, bellowing out how stupid the angel was. 

“If I didn’t let them get their kicks out somehow they’ll be fucking up a tree or something. They’re blood thirsty, Archangel.” Ze arched an eyebrow at him before going to move away from the circle, “Let them do as they need.” 

“Don’t you worry they’ll discorporate themselves? Deplete their reserves before battle?” 

“You don’t use that head that’s perched on that neck of yourzz do you?” Zir face contorted briefly, dismissively, but giving him a look over. 

“Can’t stay unless you plan to engage.” A tall thin pale being, with hair that nearly blended in with his skin and eyes as black as the darkest pits of Hell, growled at the angelic lot. 

“Pay the toll in your own blood, wanks.” Ligur added. 

Beelzebub glared at zir two Dukes and spat at them, “I will be the one to decide if they are even allowed to-.” 

“I’ll pay the toll.” Gabriel declared. 

A silence fell, you could hear a pin drop for even breathing stopped for every ethereal being, both infernal and celestial alike. 

Stepping forward and removing his hat and greatcoat, handing it to Aziraphale - the only other angel in his group who seemed to dress even remotely well - he kept his eyes on Beelzebub’s. The Archangel’s chest swelled as he adjusted his kerchief before he started to remove his sleeveless waistcoat, knowing he would ruin it if he kept it on. 

“We said, ‘pay the toll’ not ‘strip to your knickers,’ wank-wings.” Vual whooped, “Though, I’m not complaining.” 

The angel ignored it, though Raguel in particular, looked as though he wanted to jump at the Duke. Gabriel held up his hand and rolled up the cuff of his shirt. 

“Brother, you shouldn’t do this, it’s too dangerous.” 

“All will be fine, Raguel.” 

“You can’t trust them.” 

“Of course not. That would be foolish.” He chuckled as though Raguel had said something extremely foolish, despite doing something equally so. 

“Then why are you doing this?” 

“Think of it as learning more about the enemy and an exercise in strengthening interdepartmental collaboration.” He said as he carefully rolled up his other sleeve and turning to face his little adversary who had watched the exchange, still glaring. An intriguing glint had come to zir eyes that had them glowing. He came forward, taking out a blade from his pocket, pulled from the ether, and pressed it to the perfect smooth skin on his corporation’s wrist. Beelzebub’s eyes went wide as he came forward within arm's reach of zir and bit the blade’s edge in and let his golden blood fall into the dirt between them, never taking his lavender gaze off zir blues. 

The scent of his blood filled the Prince’s nose and ze breathed in deep, keeping zir eyes locked on his. 

“The toll has been paid.” Gabriel stated, shoulders back but his head tilted to take in Beelzebub’s reaction. It should have alarmed him but it didn’t. That and the little look that came to zir eyes actually thrilled him. 

No one moved. 

Not a single word was said or shouted. The Prince jerked zir head to zir lieutenants and fellow demons to leave the field. Holding out zir hand for the blade which the Archangel held, not seeming to be concerned if it was a Heavenly blade or not, zir face betrayed nothing, but those eyes were aglow. 

Gabriel, rose an eyebrow at the prospect of actually getting to fight the diminutive one he called wife in secret, and something in his gut twisted, paired with his excitement. He handed over his blade and watched as Beelzebub rolled up zir sleeve and cut in, their blood mixing into zir wrist and in the dirt, spilling from zir wound. 

Beelzebub felt that ever strange pulsating thrill work through zir the instance Gabriel’s eyes had set on zir holding the blade to his own wrist. It doubled when ze felt the blade slick with his blood touch zir unmarred flesh. Something about the exchange made zir skin feel as though it was on fire. Ze figured it was due to the idea of fighting him. Ze did have a tendency to fall into a bloodlust but never had it felt tingly like this. 

The silence was overpowering as the two factions’ leaders stared each other down. 

The entire situation was unprecedented and for the Prince to join in one of these fights was unheard of, not in this format. Ze may have appeared small and diminutive – both zir corporation and occult form were roughly the same even, and despite what Lucifer had assumed of zir after the Fall ze were NOT weak in any sense of the word – but ze were a force to be reckoned with and trained fiercely (this is not including fairly regular riots ze faced in Hell.). 

And then, of course, there was The Archangel Fucking Gabriel. 

There wasn’t a demon or Fallen that didn’t know of him. Whispers traveled the corridors of Hell about his ruthlessness when it came to smiting their kind back that sent chills. There were even stories of those who remembered him in the Great Rebellion. Any who had crossed paths with him at that time only remembered snippets but knew he fought then and fought well. Aside from Michael, Gabriel was the stuff of nightmares to their kind. 

Both equally as ruthless to their adversaries. 

To see two ethereal giants, sworn enemies, that were considered two of the best warriors of their respective sides fight, even in such a small scale, was momentous. Everyone would have wanted to see this even if it wasn’t a full out War. 

Everyone was on edge. 

“The toll has been paid.” The Prince of Hell all but whispered. 

Ze arched an eyebrow at him and the legion of demons erupted in wails and shouts at the prospect of one of their own taking down their enemy’s leader. 

Dagon marched to Gabriel’s second in command and glared him down, snapping at him to get his attention, before discussing what was permissible with this fight. It was completely unheard of but the Duke was not going to risk their Prince nor incur zir Wrath knowing that ze wished to engage with zir strange angel. The two argued for a few minutes while the demons caterwauled and shrieked for their leader to take down the opposition, the angel’s looking perturbed, and the ones ready to fight looked to no one else but the other in complete silence. 

“New rules.” Dagon shouted, “Discorporation is strictly forbidden, it will not be down to a Death strike, as before, but first bite of a blade that draws blood will end the fight.” 

“No ethereal blades or magics will be used to inflict damage, Holy Water and Hellfire are forbidden and will lead in the subsequent punishment of the one who uses it. Permanent Death.” Raguel barked out, not wanting anything foul to befall his brother, though he didn’t agree with his strange desire to battle the Prince on zir side of the field. It was a disadvantage. But he was pleased to see his brother finally wishing to fight the one who wronged him and felt as though ze used Gabriel’s kindness. He was hoping this was a turning point for his more diplomatic brother to spare no quarter. 

“You’ll need human weapons.” Dagon added and both they and Raguel went to collect their representative's blades. The Duke waited with their head bowed for their Prince to hand over zir blade while the Archangel took it from Gabriel as he had any time they switched off while sparring. It was two very different exchanges. 

A blade was miracled for the Leader of Angels by Beelzebub. 

It was a British infantry sabre of the times, with minor variants. The hilt’s pommel had ridges to its spherical shape that was topped with gilt etchings of flower petals, the curved handle guard matched. The ricasso had a heart shaped by eaves of swirling leaves, pointed palm base, and a band at the hearts little divot. Careful gilding wove its way down length of the sword, halfway to the fuller part of the blade. On the handle were sprigs of lavender curls and posies, circled by more curls. It was over the top, just like the pompous angel, in the Prince’s opinion. 

And it clearly surprised him as ze handed it over to him, the Archangel’s eyebrows reached to the sky. This was a very carefully crafted blade. He felt it had exuberant flourishes in all the right places and negative space to balance. And speaking of the balance it was very fine. How ever Beelzebub had thought this blade up in the moment was beyond him and he felt he suddenly had something to prove. 

Gabriel, thinking about what ze had in zir files. The Prince was a wielder of blades, sure, but ze were sited to work with bow and arrow but more prominently with daggers. He brought into existence twin blades. They were highly ornate with intricate carvings on it, double-edged, and had a bar hilt while the grips were finely carved wood, little flowers etched in. They were lilies mixed with what looked like Nottingham catchfly. They were just as perfectly balanced as they were beautiful and were a little over half the length of zir thigh. The Prince’s eyes roved the blades handed over to zir, not bothering to test their weight, before flicking zir eyes up to the angel that gave them to zir, Beelzebub knew enough that they would be perfect. 

-You Blessed fucker. 

If anyone noticed a certain Principalities eyebrows raise past his white curly hairline no one said a word. 

“If this is not agreeable to both participants there will be no fight.” The curly haired Archangel by their side added. 

“I accept these terms.” The two declared, still looking to no one else. 

“Take paces and separate.” Dagon called out and the two moved to opposite ends of the little circle. 

The demons and angels were all watching on in mixed enthusiasm and horror. The fact that they had an angel and a demon fighting in a fair fight was too out of this world, the fact that they were both sides leaders and had no intention of killing the other, due to ground rules agreed upon, was just as intense and improbable. For one it could mean losing the respect of his fellow angels, for the other it could mean someone would come after zir head or zir battalions could lose respect and authority. 

Losing was not an option for either side and neither was willing to yield. 

Gabriel steeled himself in preparation but couldn’t reign in his errant heart beating a staccato in excitement. Watching Beelzebub’s eyes look as though they were jewels in firelight wasn’t helping. 

“Prove to me you’re worthy, Mezzenger.” 

That did it for him. He felt his corporation seize up in anticipation over the words ze all but growled in command at him. It held a buzz that nearly made it sound like a purr to the angel. 

“Oh, I plan to, sunshine.” 

And the Prince smirked at him just before Dagon called the fight to start. 

Beelzebub wasted no time and rushed the Archangel and was met with his blade from above, ze stayed his swing with the cross-guard of zir dagger, pushing it away to zir left despite his advantage of weight and height. Ze spun right and elbowed him in the side with such force it would leave a bruise (and maybe even a cracked rib), but Gabriel made no other sound than a small grunt. It would appear that Gabriel was at a disadvantage, that is if he were a human of his mighty size; but truthfully it was their choir status that made him so, but he was still fairly agile. 

He swept a powerful leg under the Prince as he countered, causing Beelzebub to hit the ground. But the Prince was already flipping zir lithe body up, kicking zir booted feet into the angel’s square chin, making him falter backwards. Once righted to zir feet again, Beelzebub had to dodge the boarish being as he tried to slash zir, a dagger hitting at his sword to displace his swing. 

The two separated and gave distance. 

The Prince stalked around the angel, head held high, as the Archangel kept his form and tried to gauge the next attack, read his enemy. 

One of zir blades went flying over Gabriel’s shoulder, too wide to be meant for him, and stopped a rather large rock that was headed for the Messenger of God from landing its mark, distracting him for a second. It was a second that cost him, even if he was grateful. Ze were before him in a flash and punched him in the face but Gabriel took hold of zir wrist and spun them round, placing zir in a bear-hug, him dropping his sword when ze kicked him in the face. Beelzebub was proving incredibly flexible. 

Still holding though, he drove them forward, careening towards a group of demons that made way to reveal a tree. Beelzebub jumped and landed zir feet against it and throttled them back, they landed on the ground, but Gabriel would not let go. 

The Prince shifted and straddled the angel, landing a punch before raising zir blade to bring it down. Gabriel answered zir call by grabbing zir wrists in one hand, grabbing hold of zir breeches belt, and thrusting up as he threw zir up and off him, sending zir crashing. 

Neither were expecting Gabriel to launch himself up and over in order to straddle the Prince a second later, but he did. Ze tried to get away but not far enough and ended with his thighs on either side of zir face, his ass crushing zir chest. 

If either were thinking of anything but their melee they would have recalled a conversation with a few bordello workers talking about how they would all gladly allow the angel to crush their face with his powerful thighs...and maybe Gabriel had thought of that. Because the next thing the tiny Prince knew was how muscular those thighs actually were, no longer hidden by trunkhose of the Renaissance era, and definitely flexed around zir small face. Ze seized him around both after feeling them press in, tiny hands distracting Gabriel for only a moment, before Beelzebub bit him. Hard. 

Lucky for the celestial it was not his Effort but his meaty thigh, but it was so close that he panicked. He didn’t know ze were panicking too, not thinking as ze kicked him in the head from behind and sent him careening forward. He landed on zir face crushing zir. Zir hands found his ass to shove him off, furious, but he rocked back crushing zir a moment longer. As soon as either had any semblance of thought Gabriel rolled off, face pink regretting that they were the center of everyone’s attention. 

Hoots and hollers broke from the jeering hoard of onlookers, save from the appalled angelic lot, at the sight of the Prince of Hell ending up with angelic balls in zir face and an angelic being having his charms nearly bit off by the Prince. 

The two wasted no time to flip over to their knees. Gabriel tried to grab for zir but the Prince, spry as ze were, flipped backwards. He watched as ze elegantly soared in the air, zir braid that had come loose, hat long gone as they had tumbled, whipping behind zir and hitting his face. But he didn’t let that distract him. He grabbed for his sword and sought the offense. He lunged out low enough that he knew it wouldn’t discorporate zir but found Beelzebub aloft, standing on the flat of his blade. Ze gave him a wicked little smirk, and with zir surprisingly pink blush on zir cheek it added to zir fae-like and impish appearance standing there like that. The angel was briefly taken aback, his guard dropped. 

And then ze kicked him, making him teeter. 

He swung himself back, somehow elegantly getting to his feet, to defend and grabbed hold of zir hand as ze went thrust zir blade at him, taking hold of zir shoulder in one hand. He tried to drive zir back into a tree again with zir own force, hoping to make Beelzebub falter at the excess force that would usually throw off a human’s gate and send zir into the tree but ze just kept up. Ze ran up the length and flipped zirself over. 

He heard and FELT a crack that he shouldn’t have but Beelzebub acknowledged nothing and sent zir blade into zir other hand. 

Gabriel didn’t wait as he saw a blade come flying out of nowhere from the crowd and took hold of Beelzebub and threw zir. The blade just missed and the two watched as the blade impaled itself between the two. 

But that didn’t stop the Prince for long. 

Ze lunged once more and Gabriel answered again, dagger clanging against sword. They were hit for hit and Gabriel was certain the blade he wielded would need a smithy again. The little Prince of Hell having such a small blade didn’t seem to hinder zir, ze were right in his face. Dodging swings that were too shallow and getting into his personal space, causing him to strike out with the hilt of his sword in most instances. One blow managed to smash zir in the cheek even, but the demon that ze were, it only hindered zir for a moment and ze grunted from the force. 

Ze managed to press in on him and bring him back to the tree the two seemed to gravitate around. But as soon as his back was to the bark he reached out and spun zir, landing zir hard against the tree, cracking it from impact. Ze kneed him in the sides hard until Gabriel brought his own knee between zir legs and hoisted zir eye level. They were once again too close. That old panic did fill the Prince but it took a back seat, ze had a blade at zir disposal and ze knew he wouldn't hurt zir like that. 

Gabriel's blade was brought to zir throat at the same time Beelzebub's blade bite into his own. Right by the artery. Just a hair off. 

Raguel shouted to halt and both beings froze, riding off their high as blades had cut and blood dribbled. Something was pulsing through the two that was more than the usual bloodlust a demon felt and the angel was not unaffected. 

Having zir sit on his thigh, balanced there with a sword at zir throat, feeling the slight weight but feeling no threat from him, left the demon confused with zir reaction. Zir body thrummed and ze felt that ever-present cord pull tighter and frustrate the Prince. It felt like how careful Gabriel was when dressing zir and ze felt breathless. It made absolutely no sense to Beelzebub and ze didn’t think ze could properly think it through on this high. 

It felt like zir nerve endings were alive and going off like flares. 

The angel was not able to work through it, either. The tingling he felt in his gut at zir slight weight pressed on his leg was far too distracting. It was too much with the feel of the crease of zir inseam pressed on his thigh, one of zir much smaller hands pulling on his kerchief, and zir breath against his face coming out in little puffs. Watching as adrenaline took its toll on zir human corporation and made zir tiny frame all but vibrate. He could feel zir pulse... 

Their chests were heaving and Beelzebub felt warm all over and Gabriel could feel it hitting his form, giving him goosebumps. 

“Off!” Dagon growled, suddenly at their side and glaring down the Messenger. 

“Brother, please.” Uriel was by his side now too and he handed them his sword. 

Gabriel took hold of Beelzebub’s slim waist, slowly dropping his knee, and eased zir down to zir feet, not looking to anyone else. Not a word was uttered for zir to remove the blade from his throat as he stared zir down. It wasn’t that kind of gaze meant to intimidate. 

“It’s a draw! Put down your weapon, fiend!” Raguel insisted but Gabriel held up his hand and waited, not daring to lay another hand on zir. And his eyes held onto zir own gaze and ze could almost imagine how devastatingly beautiful The End would be looking into them. 

Beelzebub took the blade away feeling so very satisfied. 

Ze held zir hands up, blade dangling between lithe fingers hooked loosely around it, and zir face devoid of any emotion. But a little spark from zir eyes told on zir to the Archangel. And ze involuntarily shivered over seeing trust in his eye when it was so misplaced, in Beelzebub’s opinion. 

Zir eyes were alight and sparkling to him, calling him out and drawing him in. And that singer...felt like she was singing loftier and more soothing in that moment. 

His were darkened, once more, not unlike the color of Impress Purple Lavender, feeling as though they had left imprints on zir very being. 

-Would you deem me worthy of you? 

Almost as though plummeting out of a barbaric dream of fire and brimstone and blades and endings, Beelzebub snapped. Ze shuddered, a near incessant slew of curses droned through zir head, and the demon cracked zir neck but did not move to cradle zir clearly damaged arm and stared down the Messenger before realizing ze had to cover quick. Everything that ze had experienced could potentially be picked up in the middle of the muddled throng of sin and that was the last thing ze wanted. Ze needed an excuse and quick and saw it on the blade of zir dagger. 

Ze brought it up to zir mouth and slipped zir tongue out to scoop the smattering of his golden blood. Ze had wondered once how it would taste, Beelzebub was the Prince of demons after all. However, like everything else involving the Archangel, ze had made the mistake of making eye contact with him as ze felt the complex sweet tang meet zir taste buds. That dangerous trill assaulted zir and ze choked out a groan as zir tongue snaked its way back into zir mouth, coating the bridge. Ze felt all the air escape zir lungs in that moment. 

And for some inexplicable reason Gabriel did too. 

-FUCK! 

“Enough of your bloodlust, filth!” Raguel interjected, grabbing for zir hand and every being in the field silenced themselves and the fury that Beelzebub bore for the Friend of God was only overshadowed by the fact that ze had already had him on the floor at zir feet. His legs were buckled and he was spun to be with his back to zir once more, this time with zir new blade at his throat. 

“Did you miss the caress of discorporation that much, Archangel Raguel?” 

This was precarious footing to be on. There were too many eyes and both demonic and angelic presence were fully alert, it could cause great issue for both. Ever the diplomat and knowing how to navigate such situations, particularly with his touch repulsed counterpart, Gabriel tried to intervene. He held up his hands and got no closer. 

“Prince Beelzebub, he had no right to without invitation, but consider his ignorance and concern for my well-being under the eye of such a distinguished fighter such as yourself. I would also like to remind you that we must not engage in discorporations during our cease-fire.” 

Zir steely gaze flicked to him, letting zir blade cut just a tiny bite into his chin. 

“Your Highness, please.” 

“His ignorance is bullshit. That’s a lousy justification in our current setting, don’t you think?” Zir droll sounded indolent and almost bored now, the Demon Prince knew how to work this. Though it was clear to all ze were ready to take zir pound of flesh. 

“Perhaps, but surely you can show him Mercy in our time of partnership on this field.” 

At this the Demon Prince scoffed, “This is the wrong lot to be speaking of Mercy to, pigeon.” 

“Unhand him!” Uriel barked, making Aziraphale jolt and eye those around them. 

“I’ll do no such thing. He grabbed me while not permitted to. He has to be made an example of.” Ze growled low and thick, zir buzz amplifying. 

“What if I can persuade you to let him go.” 

“Gabriel!” Uriel reproached. 

Beelzebub put zir knee in Raguel’s back and pushed, glaring at the Archangel ze had at zir feet. “What could you possibly persuade me with, Archangel Gabriel?” 

“A favor.” 

And that caused Beelzebub to arch a pale eyebrow. Favors were indeed a dangerous thing to exchange between any as the Prince of Hell had only mentioned two days ago, when they met again. 

“Gabriel, it’s not worth it!” Raguel growled out under Beelzebub’s blade. 

“I’ll take that favor, Archangel.” And that wicked tick of zir lip had to be fought to be kept from zir mouth. “Think on your actions, pitiful angel, you offend me and take that which is not granted to you and now, because of your insolence, have cost your dear brother something potentially Deadly. Something I intend to collect.” Ze scowled before using zir knee to nudge him to the ground face first. 

“Now piss off, you aren’t worth the shite on my boots.” 

Beelzebub watched as Uriel helped the brash being to his feet, making no way for him to get up with ease and allowing zir indifference to consume zir. The Prince truly didn’t care at all about the angel at zir feet. 

A dove white feather was held aloft before zir and fractals of...something danced behind zir eyes that Beelzebub could not see. It was dismissed quickly and ze took hold of the feather before zir and felt the promise behind it connected to Gabriel. 

Ze had to force back the sigh of relief that threatened zir corporation with the direct funneling of his essence with it, huffing. The two locked eyes for a second too long and Beelzebub felt the urge to touch him, lay a hand on him to stop that stupidly pleased smile on his face but ze stopped before it was too late. It was too familiar. Too dangerous in their current surroundings. It was not supposed to be that way between angels and demons. 

Even smacking him wouldn’t have been a good idea. 

Even if it would have been very satisfying. 

“Gabriel, forgive me...” Raguel bowed his head, concern knit into his brow knowing what he had just done. But it had not felt of foolishness. He would never admit to something like that when it involved blood of an angel passing into the lips of a Fallen one. 

-I promise, dear brother, to make Prince Beelzebub pay! 

But Gabriel, even if a little unsettled, only gave Raguel a smile even if it was a little tight-lipped and patted his shoulder a little too heavily as he was known to do. 

“It was worth it. But please, do not ever touch the Prince again. I beg of you not to under any circumstances. It’s not right.” 

Raguel, assuming his meaning was how it was about how angels and demons touching was taboo and feeling properly admonished, nodded his head in acknowledgement of his words. 

“I have no desire to touch so foul a creature, willingly.” 

“Touch our Prince again and we will be taking more than a favor from your cunt of a boss!” Bellowed the thin Duke with sandy hair but he had gotten between the two angels and ended up in Gabriel’s face. 

“Hastur!” Beelzebub barked as ze used a small miracle to recall zir second blade ze planned to keep. “Take over and get some blood on you, Dagon, come with me, we will be escorting the wank-wingz back to the halfway point. They’re done for today.” 

The silent sentinel angel that had remained glued to Aziraphale’s side, ensuring everyone’s safety, moved together to rejoin their group. And Aziraphale could be heard letting out his long imprisoned sigh of relief and tried not to rush to Gabriel to return his garments. “Well, then...” He started handing off each article of clothing to the somehow still glowing Archangel and gave Prince Beelzebub a guarded look ze weren’t expecting and suddenly felt very apprehensive of the Principality. That was too far a scrutinizing look for an angel and ze felt as though ze were under a viewing glass. 

Ze growled and shook it off and prepared for the small trek the mish-mash group would make to the middle zone. The Demon Prince shut every urge and function down, it mattered not as ze had to get the group of angels out of there and ze would not entrust Gabriel’s safety to any present...not that ze were concerned at all for the bird-brain... 

It felt like it was going to be a long walk even though ze really wanted to go running through the valley as far away from the angel who seemed to have some form of control over zir corporation. Beelzebub couldn’t avoid his stupid lavender gaze and smile and scoffed at him. Suddenly frustrated ze stormed away, wondering what the Heaven’s ze had been waiting for. 

“For fuck’zz zake! We haven’t got all day, Mezzenger!” 

The Archangel took back his own new blade from Uriel, grabbed zir hat from the ground - noticing what looked like two big red buttons sewn into the front of the crown and a wing pattern to its folded brims - and strode after zir holding it out to the Prince. 

-That’s rather...cute... 

"After you, your Highness."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your comments and con-crit is appreciated. 
> 
> This one was mostly written a little while ago and I added and tried to proof read it a few times so I apologize for any goofs. 
> 
> I don't know why I enjoy taking Raguel down a notch so much but he's a prat and I enjoy writing him in. I also enjoy writing Beelzebub totally taking him down a peg. But he is turning into an unexpected problem I didn't foresee.
> 
> I had debated the bit about Gabriel crushing Beelzebub's face with his thighs but those two just made it so easy to do and embarrass themselves in such easy ways. I also was very worried about how to balance Beelzebub's touch and proximity issues, zir growing attraction and trust and all that, with the foolish himbo so I sat on it one more night and reread it again. It felt natural enough to me. Ze had been experiencing these things with him before but I wanted to make sure ze felt properly taken off-guard and suddenly aware of the situation surrounded by a bunch of demons who could pick up on things like that even if it was in a group of other demons. 
> 
> I hope it read well but it didn't feel forced or rushed to me while going over it last night and today.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	4. A Battlefields Launched By Sirens, Hindered By Lost Lone Singers...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Damned finally make their way to be met by the legions of Hell and a fleet of angels, ready to reap their souls. But War is never an easy feat even for ethereal forces. 
> 
> Gabriel recalls something lost, and it seems that is the case for all on the field. Beelzebub, though not unaffected, is forced to alter plans as ze watch things unfold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings include: PTSD, War, and maaaybe I got a little carried away on the stabbing. 
> 
> This was a difficult chapter for me because it didn't quite strike me at first and I wrote out a plot monster (is that the word everyone? fic bunny? Plot bunny? I'm sorry I forget the term. And regardless...we all know I just write and write and write...I'm so sorry! Thank you for reading it all!)

Very soon after the day was spent, both sides had ensured every measure was taken care of. Beelzebub was sometimes heard shouting at some demon dealing in some insubordination or mischief, causing angels to flinch at the abrasive sound. Gabriel didn’t need to speak to his people that way, no one acted out or tried to engage in anything untoward. Maybe one or two incredulous faces were made at either Aziraphale or Raguel, in particular but as the day turned to evening and the moon reached its zenith, Gabriel became more introverted and stern faced. 

The Archangel kept wondering when he would hear what was shouted how it was the Prince managed all the millennia and, again, understood why it was ze had such dark circles under zir eyes. Not that ze seemed incompetent, he had read zir paperwork first-hand and seen file after file on zir; even the war council just days ago was conclusive that ze were more than adequat. All the demons were just...well demony. 

He knew zir tests and trails were part of zir punishment for defying the Almighty but still wished to alleviate some of zir distress; he reasoned it was part of his duties as an angel to be compassionate and caring to all. That and part of his obligations to zir as zir husband and kept reasoning that it was valid. It was just his job! 

And then his thoughts kept going back to the arm he had broke while they had fought. It was still broken when the group was escorted back to the middle zone. Gabriel wanted to repair the damage he had wrought on zir, he remembered how it felt the way the scapula had snapped under his fingers and he could tell the glenohumeral joint had rotated wrong and heard it splinter, but neither Beelzebub nor zir Duke would allow him time alone. Ze didn’t even hold on to it as though it was damaged, and he recalled the way zir kneecap had that jagged protrusion and severe bruising back when ze had exposed zirself to him, back in Italy. He couldn’t tell how long the little demon had been walking around with that injury either. The whole thing made him flinch at the memories. 

That and being the reason ze broke a bone distressed him more than it should have. It had been a fair fight, moreso than he thought the Prince would adhere to. Beelzebub may have been...something to him (definitely not nice) but there was no denying ze were the Prince of Demons, even if they were married, but he was once again surprised by the small infernal’s adherence to keeping it clean. 

With maaayyybbee the exception of zir biting his inner thigh. 

There was so much going on in that moment and yet even still Gabriel turned pink all the way up to his ears at the thought of that. The very memory of Beelzebub’s little mouth on him sent shivers through his corporation that made it feel like it would shudder apart. And the simple image of zir between his legs like that did him no favors and he felt something hit him in the abdomen again. 

Speaking of favors, his mind went back to the one he had exchanged with the Prince for Raguel’s safety. 

The other Archangel had cost him dearly, it had been foolish of him but he wouldn’t have changed his mind about it, it saved face, time, and appeased the opposition from becoming hostile. And he felt deep down he could trust Beelzebub with it. Though every other angel on this mission, as it was discussed openly on return, said that it was foolish and the momentary loss of Raguel’s corporation would have been better. 

Raguel had made a grave mistake of touching the enemy’s leader. He may have been an Archangel, but he wasn’t on the same footing as the Prince when it came to strength, nor was he on the same level as Gabriel, Michael, Chamuel, or Sandalphon; all who could have taken zir on. And even then, Beelzebub had bested two of those four top warriors. It made the thought rather alarming that Beelzebub had a rather long list of discorporations under zir belt (Raguel included and having grown by two other names of Archangels since the Renaissance). 

However, this wasn’t the place to think those things over, there was an oncoming army of souls to reap. 

And at that moment, the Archangel Gabriel and his infantry were in the dark, keeping clear from the demons before them and watching as Beelzebub stalked from pocket to pocket, eyes sharp. Sometimes ze would huff at something while others ze would yell or snap at for some shenanigans. Gabriel was really beginning to realize he had experienced a completely different Prince of Hell. Though the frowns and scowls were all the same he was grateful he didn’t make zir yell as often. 

-Just how worn out do they all make her? 

He left his unit with Uriel and Raguel in charge and went on his own circuit of rounds, not that he had need to, but he was naturally suspicious of the enemy. 

-Best to keep vigilant. 

At one point their paths met, Beelzebub eyeing him and he greeted zir politely, addressing zir by title. It felt weird to him to do so but he would not behave so forward at a time like this. He eyed the area and did notice how they were out direct line of vision between both units and a vast patch lay before them. Neither angel nor demon seemed to be nearby. 

“We should get someone to cover this zone, here. Can’t leave them this advantage.” 

“Z’my zone.” 

“Oh.” He said shutting his mouth with a click of his jaw. It was then that he realized that his spot wasn’t that far away, he tried not to eye it, feeling it may make Beelzebub somehow upset for some reason. But logistically it had made sense to put him there. His strongest fighters were spread apart to ensure weaker fighters had support, spacing out stronger warriors had been discussed on both sides. He was beginning to think maybe he should switch places with Uriel. 

However, his face, though a fairly stern mask in light of the oncoming battle, gave him away and Beelzebub squinted at him. Ze let a huff come from zir nose, “Just stay out of my way.” And ze were about to go off on another circuit, eyes shifting away to focus elsewhere in the dark. 

“Prince Beelzebub?” 

Ze stopped but didn’t look up at him. 

“Allow me a moment to apologize for the Archangel Raguel touching you. It wasn’t appropriate and I know the favor doesn’t completely make up for it.” 

“Juzt forget it, Archangel. It meanz nothing coming from you.” Ze finally let out a frustrated sigh but didn’t look to him. Zir gaze pierced through him and Gabriel had to take a moment to Damn how it felt like something had indeed hooked into his corporation. It just didn’t make sense and felt as contradictory as ever. 

“Why won’t you let me?” 

“Not important. And I don’t care.” 

Ze began to storm off and he purposefully blocked zir path, keeping his hands away from zir. 

“Now, wait a minute. You won’t let me heal you, won’t let me talk to you, and now you won’t even let me apologize. I’m trying to be-” He stopped Dead in his words as he felt just as much as saw the shift. The Prince of Flies gaze flicked from the distance to his face and he saw danger there. Ze had walled zirself off from him and had every intention of keeping things that way, even zir aura was under control and hidden from him. But a little spark from zir eyes and he caught the warning. 

“I don’t care what you’re trying to be Gabriel. Now is not the time. We’re not here to fuck around.” 

Gabriel didn’t balk and tried not to tighten his lips or let out the sigh of frustration that was within him, he kept his eyes even. “And I understand that, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that-” 

“I am a demon and the opposition. He should want to lay hands on me in any way he can. You should be no different.” Ze didn’t mean to get worked up over this but ze could only manage to keep the steely demeanor up and glint in zir eyes. Only just. On the inside ze felt about ready to pull at zir hair for even suggesting something like this to him. Again. 

“No. That’s not right. You and I both know that’s not right.” He held out his hand to zir, “You shouldn’t be touched without permission.” 

Something about the softness of such a declaration, and it being so sudden, momentarily swayed the Prince and ze felt something flutter within that shouldn’t have been. It did not help zir in any way that he looked at zir with such soft lavender eyes and ze felt an unmooring sense of being lost for a moment. With his hand outstretched to zir once more, seeking permission, it made it hard to remember to even breathe. 

But only for a moment. 

Zir whole face scrunched up and ze shook zir head, “You really don’t understand just what is going on right now, do you?” 

-Gabriel, please stop this! The fuck is going on in that head of yours, you daft angel?! 

He shrugged, allowing a hand to cross over his face, letting the frustration to the forefront. The fact that his tiny companion had looked up at him that way just for that moment, familiar eyes all sparkly and wide and then immediately incredulously baffled was frustrating. But he didn’t take away his hand. “Battlefield. Enemy forces once more working together. Orders to cleanup escaped souls. Apologizing to you for my brother’s misdeed. Did I miss anything?” 

Ze tsked and sighed, “Being too close to thine enemy on a powder-keg ladden battlefield. These aren’t friendly fields, dear Archangel.” 

“Again, we’re leaders of enemy factions that are dealing with an enemy of an enemy right now. I can talk to you all I want.” 

Ze huffed at him and had to fight back the snort of laughter and the urge to lay a hand on his mouth again. 

-Blessed hands... 

“Pleaze don’t.” 

“Did I just get the Prince of Demons, Lord Beelzebub herself, to say ‘please?’” Gabriel eyed zir a little too playfully, and ze startled and seized up, ready to walk away. “I should mark that down.” 

Ze began to storm away, “Write yourzzelf a fucking commendation, for all I care.” 

But, as was the way of things, before ze could stalk off another being came rushing to their side. 

“Prince Beelzebub, We’ve received word that the enemy has just passed the perimeter.” Dagon reported, not bothering with the angel at their side. “They’ll be here within the next two hours.” 

“Alert Dukes Ligur and Hastur. I’ll inform Prince Asmodeus.” They quickly moved to obey and was out of sight in a breath. Beelzebub turned to the Archangel and he saw zir mask return, every part of zir becoming closed off again. “Inform your ranks in the clouds and prepare your ground soldiers to submerge in an hour's time. We need complete silence.” 

They quickly broke off, passing through the bleak night, and Beelzebub felt the ghost of his soothing aura brush past zir but nothing else. They were quick to attend to their respective tasks and harden themselves for the coming fight. 

*************************************** 

Within the hour Gabriel tended to his flock of angels and got all to easily bow to their tasks, not a word against it. Those on high already tucked into their clouds and shifting to the newer groupings that came their way. They wanted it all to look natural from the distance. 

Strangely enough, the demons all slithered into position easily enough and without hesitation. All silent. Each almost looking like they were crumbling and contorting into the Earth beneath their feet, the dirt looked as though it was reaching UP to swallow them, whole. It was rather frightening to look on. 

And not a single complaint nor squabble was heard, making it eerily silent, though it had been nearly non-stop up until Beelzebub had shouted the order; they all obeyed without question. A sense of anticipation that evaporated from the fields from the demons as soon as the last buried themselves. Leaving the Dukes and Archdemons taking their positions in the field as the dirt that had been kicked up from the unceremonious mass burial took place, creating a false mist. Their Prince the last to fall in line and stand tall. 

When he saw Beelzebub take up zir own position, back to him, he saw zir hesitate for just a moment. He was already partially submerged in the water, standing almost waist deep, and he caught a glance thrown over zir shoulder, locking eyes with his, before ze crumbled into the dirt. 

It was like ze compressed and collapsed at the same time, almost like a black hole had formed at zir feet and only took zir with it. And if anything, Gabriel would know he had witnessed quite a few black holes form. 

It was certainly something to behold and he was once again amazed at what demons could do. How frightening they must all seem to humans. 

It was actually a little unsettling to the angel even to know that, not unlike a mortal graveyard, restless souls waiting for Judgement Day to rise again, they had all willingly buried themselves so below. It would have made him feel claustrophobic had he been human. But these were thousands of the Damned and Fallen a few feet below the surface. Still very much alive but buried. 

Taking everything in in its disturbing light for one more second, he took his last unnecessary sigh and closed his eyes. He stepped backwards and got to his knees before submerging himself. 

********************* 

Just as the Prince of Gluttony had assumed, the Damned began to pour into the valley. They weren’t very quiet but that was something to be expected of a fleet of souls that were searching for sanctuary from Hell. It was odd that they had all traveled together and, as Beelzebub had mentioned earlier, it seemed highly plausible for them to have an insider to help them. 

No longer bound by mortal coils but still bound to their memories of their shells, corrupted by their Damnations and punishments just as the demons of Hell, they looked like contorted and damaged ghosts of their former selves. They could have been mistaken for demons. It would have been difficult for a human to distinguish a Damned soul from a denizen of Hell. It didn’t change the fact that they were all lost and terrified souls that dragged themselves from the pits of Hell. Their fear was palpable and crescendoed as the armies surged from their hiding places below the Earth and waters. 

That was also as shocking as Beelzebub had insisted it would be. 

As soon as the souls reached a certain distance within the valley, suspicious as any escapee would be, the occult trap that had been set was sprung and alerted all. Damned, angelic, and demonic alike. Gabriel nodded to his nearby compatriots as he sprung to the surface, Heavenly sword already drawn and excitement tinged his blood. The waters rushed off the angelic lots forms, creating small waves and rushing water to splash the banks, sometimes assailing their natural adversaries that tore through the dirt though none seemed to notice it as they were already dashing forward. 

The Archangel was only just able to catch a glimpse as Beelzebub completed zir burst from the Earth, smoke billowing from zir tiny form and ze drew zir blade from its sheath and bellowed out a primordial call to arms. He could hear the call to action echo around the valley and be joined by thousands of other battle cries. It shook something within his corporation and through his very celestial essence. Something at the very back of his memories coated in debris, smoke, and carnage. 

It was certainly something to witness both parties erupt from their hiding places, just as frightening to the Damned. But instead of retreating...they barreled forward. 

Gabriel followed the call and answered the blade that came slicing through the air at him. He had been informed in the briefing that they had been armed but by unknown sources. The only thing that seemed to really be going for them was supposed to be numbers but it was joined by an unnatural strength, which didn’t make sense due to undemonic origins. It was bestial and inhuman. The first was easy enough for someone as strong as the Archangel to cut down but he noticed that strength that no mortal should have been able to tap into. 

He watched as other ethereal beings slowly began to endure slight issues, some forced to counter and defend against them. It wasn’t anticipated. 

Fire erupted and Gabriel tensed at the prospect of Hellfire being loosed but saw a formally mortal wielder strike it to life in their hands. He couldn’t believe his eyes but didn’t let that stop him. Not that nor the smoke. 

He struck out at the being who had escaped their Hell as he set the flame to burst, scorching the Archangel from the heat causing him to guard with his celestial powers and push forward. Gabriel certainly made for a large target. But that didn’t deter him all that much. He struck out and found his assailant with ease, forcing the fire to push into them instead. 

He didn’t have time for the strange miasma of absconded memories in his head, bathed in what felt like the first Hellfires. He let it dance at the peripheral of his mind’s eye and allowed the smoke of his memories to linger and mix with the brimstone on this battlefield. It wasn’t a fight that he had to push through as much anymore. Not even the demonic faces that would try to slam into him from memories, he was certain those very faces could be amongst those he fought alongside for now. 

For a moment...he wondered if she was there too. The little voice that taunted and teased, who sometimes wrapped him up in comfort or warned him for too many years. But he didn’t recognize a single face. Not a one. 

The Fallen were perhaps too scarred by time and their own Damnation for them to be even remotely identifiable to any angel anyway. So, he dismissed it and fought, cutting down souls and perishing them back to their circle of Sin. 

Blades and claws danced through that smoke. Primal shouts and growls rang out just like the clash of blade on blade. He could see Uriel in the distance plowing through a few, swift on their feet and cutting, face relaxed and sure. They weren’t having a single issue in dealing with their foes. 

He could see Aziraphale, somehow, despite how his corporation was softer in appearance, keeping true to his training and strong. Stronger than Uriel’s blows as any Principality should be with a force that his class was gifted with. His eyes betrayed nothing, not even his inner frustration or concerns that no other knew about. Gabriel wasn’t concerned much for the slightly off angel as he had a hardened glint to his eye, just as every other angel on the field. The steel of a warrior. 

It was hard to keep track of the demons, they were wild and ran rampant. Teeth or fangs or gaping maws bared in screams and howls, claws or veiny hands digging into souls. THAT was expected but still enough to send a few shivers through the angelic lot or have a few curses sent out from others. 

The demons acting that way was definitely expected. What wasn’t were the souls morphing to reflect the same behaviors and become just as brutal. Those who could no longer fight with swords, limbs cut away or too weakened by blows from whoever, would shift and change into what looked like frightening feral versions of themselves. 

That wasn’t supposed to happen. 

Intel supplied from the adversary had suggested that something preternatural was a possibility but even Beelzebub found it was a very low possibilities of a group that large to be supernaturally enhanced. Not even in notes were there any prisoners that were capable of such feats, they were all human. This did confirm that there had to be demonic assistance but even the list of missing agents that hadn’t checked in prior wasn’t promising. This was an anomaly and a Deadly one at that. 

Something changed and these former mortal beings began to move differently. The numbers were, indeed, overwhelming and now that those numbers were suddenly undergoing an unknown metamorphosis made this less of an open-close battle. Over hours were going to need to be validated... 

Despite all this the Archangel Gabriel didn’t seem to be having much of an issue but he was certain he would work up a sweat if this battle was more than a few hours. He didn’t need fancy footwork, these beings weren’t anywhere close to his intended adversary in levels of strength or skill. 

And speaking of the little devil he caught zir barely moving to zir next opponent until moments before the cut of zir blade. The Damned souls were taking too long every time they came upon the demon. 

He could only assume they were all underestimating zir based on size and appearance. He knew well enough how it could make one lower defenses. But the moment ze would lash out and strike the souls that would lunge for zir was uncanny and intriguing. It was drastically different then their own little fight and any time they had physically gone at it in prior years. Ze had changed styles and so he took note of that. 

At that moment, it was as though zir strikes were more like jerks of zir blades, now wielding not only zir sword but one of the daggers Gabriel had miracled up for zir. He couldn’t keep the smirk from his lips over that fact. 

-She likes them. 

It appeared ze had just as little issue fighting the hordes as he did. And the Archangel would be willing to wager (not that angels made wagers nor that he thought such a thing was appropriate) that the two could take care of this lot on their own. 

That is until the little voice in the back of his head began to get much louder, setting him immediately on edge, and there was a second voice bellowing from within the pass ahead. 

Bodies that had shifted to something slightly demonic became even less human and the valley turned darker, blotting out the sky. Cries could be heard and several of the ethereal beings nearby were seen to react to the voice and appear confused, it didn’t matter if it was demon or angel. He witnessed as Beelzebub’s azure gaze dimmed for a fraction of a second, but the flash was gone and ze were already cutting down zir next assailant. 

A shock to Gabriel’s head and he saw a form in Heavenly robes. Unable to see their face for he was looking down at the gold blood that had long been turning black and slicking down his blade from the wound he had punctured their body with. He felt shock and horror overcome him. He had HARMED them and his heart seized up, it could not be undone. The only part of their face he could see were soft looking lips smiling at him, blood spilling from that smile. And then he was back on the battlefield. 

Beelzebub was in front of him cutting down a being that was now twice its original size. 

“Pay attention, pigeon!” Ze snapped, eyes flaring like aurora borealis in the night sky, like a beacon, but so full of anger, before dashing away and leaving him alone with the ghost with that sickeningly pained smile and the voice shrieking in his ear, Damning him for his transgressions he knew he had made against them. Her grave injury was now his one and only memory of her and it was of cutting them down. That smile, though pained was as familiar as a ray of light and yet completely irrevocably estranged from his being. She was a stranger to him but he knew she had once been like the moon to the sun. Unequivocally chasing the other endlessly and yet Gabriel no longer remembered them. No longer knew her. 

It wasn’t time to dwell on those things though. He was left devasted but he let it enrage his very being. 

His distress was pushed back against the voice of the siren in his head that he felt he had failed. He let his anger at his own unremembered pains fuel his Wrath to unleash on the lost souls that had strayed even further in their Damnation. Foolishly giving him a heart’s beat of a chance to wonder if the little singer was anything like them and cursing the woeful memory. 

He lashed out. He called for his troops to regain control and carry on. Called out for the Heavenly warriors at his command to fight. And, when all had regained their senses and tarried forth, he believed he understood why the Fallen were as abrasive and aggressive as they were. They were the lost and they no longer had anything left to hold on to, they had lost everything including themselves. They were cast aside and had their Heavenly Grace torn from their very beings. 

But they had lost themselves from turning away from the Almighty, from their own corruptions. Gabriel lost someone he knew was precious from what he felt was the same folly. And this unknown conjuror just threw that in his face. 

Threw it in his face that she was cast away by his own hands. Cut down by his own blade. 

He didn’t know for certain if everyone else was shown something of Before from this magical attack, but he knew it was meant to deflect focus and cause mental anguish. The Archangel could see it in the way the demons on the field seemed to unleash darknesses from deep within, feel their own brand of Wrath and vitriol spill from their auras, the way they morphed, in turn becoming more violent and unrecognizable. Their demonic malicious brand of glee was no longer present in the aura floating through the air. It could be seen on their loosening glamours that vaguely kept up human-like appearances. 

And then there had been Beelzebub’s eyes... 

He shouted out orders, threw down the Damned and ran his blade them through, cringing from the thought of how he had done so to his mysterious singer that haunted him for so long. Gabriel couldn’t stop though, he had to keep going and not succumb to the ache of loss that had welled up within. It had been so long since it felt so present, he could have been brought to his knees. 

Fires began to be lit around the trees, the Damned and the morphing souls were tearing each other apart. The angels at his side struck out against the evils of man that had been failed to be vanquished before their mortal coils had been shed the first time, failing to redeem their sins. But no matter how many their joined forces seemed to drop of their foe more sprang forward from the pass. Stronger than the last who stood before them. 

The voice of their enemy called out again and a number of the Fallen shrieked out in pain and terror, some crumbled to their knees and tore at their flesh. 

Disoriented from it, a feral energy flooded the field, they lashed out but not at the intended targets. They became wild and attacked any they could reach. 

A formally man-shaped demon, one Gabriel had recognized from the day before let out a vicious shriek and ran, corporation Damned near vibrating in frenetic energy, chased down Beelzebub. Just as he leapt Beelzebub turned and impaled him on zir sword, he kept going til his body was all the way down to the hilt and the Prince stabbed him in the face with the dagger. As that went on four beings of both demonic and Damned origins jumped onto the Archangel and tried to claw into him, it was certainly enough to distract him. 

Another two beings ze were facing off took the opening ze had left. One dug claws into zir sides and the other bit into zir shoulder making zir grit zir teeth but not a sound was made. Ze used the being impaled on zir weapons to slam into the enemy and dislodged a blade to cut the throat of the first and then ram the same blade into the temple of the second. They dropped down at zir feet and ze eyed the surrounding area, trying to quickly calculate the next move to counter this new attack. By that point Gabriel was holding the last demon aloft and stabbing into him. 

“Prince Beelzebub?” 

“Archangel Gabriel.” Ze threw zir blade over his shoulder and halted the rush of another demon. One of ziir own just moments ago. Ze had dropped them like a bag of rocks. He quickly dove for the blade and sliced clean through another soul that leapt and missed him, he had made sure the conjured weapon was sharp enough for such things prior to giving them to Beelzebub. The Prince was busy with three new adversaries that tried to overtake zir but Gabriel was there in a flash and sent out a shock wave to take out the three, avoiding his tiny adversary. 

“Bloody wank.” Ze groused as ze stuck another being in the chest as they launched at zir. 

Gabriel handed zir the dagger back, catching another changed and throwing him to the floor before crushing his skull with his boot. He and the Prince switched positions as he stabbed another soul in their twisted face and Beelzebub decapitated another changed. He turned to zir once more and tried to speak but was caught off guard taking in zir appearance up close. The luminous morph of zir eyes hadn’t faded and Gabriel couldn’t help but feel like he was falling...upward. Back into the galaxies he had once helped craft and beyond, watching the light dance as a star was born. It was such a Blessed sight to behold that for it to be in the eyes of one of the Fallen and glow from zir rage and fury the Archangel felt such pain and loss all over again. It wasn’t compatible with his ideas of how a demons eyes should be and the new change flash to zir eyes amplified the feeling. 

-Your eyes...Beelzebub why do you have such eyes?... 

“Stop dawdling if you’ve got all that firepower. Uze it.” Ze snapped and pushed him out of the way as another assailant fell between the two, missing his mark. “Get your people to do the same.” 

He shook it off and stabbed the being between the ribs and grimaced as the blood bubbled out of the gaping wound as Gabriel drew his sword away. It was then that he could see how badly the wound to zir shoulder was. The edges of zir great coat was jagged and the skin below was bare and raw. The one who had bit zir had torn clear through zir shirt too, revealing zir battered and chewed flesh. The delicate looking Prince’s blood seeped up through the tears in zir skin and dribbled down around the opening. 

Everything within Gabriel’s being compelled him to reach out to try and take hold of the demon but he stalled himself, free hand suddenly frozen in mid-motion. Even on the battlefield. 

“Bee, you’re wounded. Let me-” 

“Not now, Gabriel!” Ze snarled but he felt thin fingers run over his open hand, a dagger’s handle separating them, giving only a faint meeting of zir skin on his open palm. It wasn’t a slap... 

Ze ran off again before he could even try to attend zir wounds and he dashed in the opposite direction. The Lord of the Flies plowed back into the melee. Gabriel could only afford a moment before doing the same, uncertain of what was to come and what to do with the new diabolical turn of events. 

Beelzebub jumped and landed zir booted foot square in the center of a turned demon's chest and used zir ethereal strength to force them back before slicing their face clear off with a deft swipe. Propelling onward, sword low, ze kept cutting down beings of Damnation and Fallen that came for zir. Ze shouted an order that could be heard well above the cacophony of blades and battle to discorporate any of the Fallen that turn, it was clear enough what was happening now. 

The Prince ran for zir nearest Duke of zir following and ordered him to return to Hell and inform Leviation, the Prince of Envy, who was aiding matters down in prisoner reclamation. He would already know of what to do even with the souls changed but would need to be informed of the demons that had been morphed and why. Belphagor, the Prince of Sloth, would need to help put them under and Satan would need to be informed in turn. 

It didn’t take long for the demon to sink into the ground and Beelzebub to take over his position and face the swarm he had been working on. The Prince of Demons knew that Asmodeus was already up, ze had felt him and his soldiers energies digging up through the layers of the Earth to meet the surface, and knew he was probably already dealing with his batch of radicalized demons, though he was an arse he was capable when he thought with the head on his shoulders and not the one in his pants. But ze needed to know the numbers and where they stood on the playing field. 

Easy work was made of those who stood before zir. A dagger just below one jaw, a flick of zir wrist and that one and the nearest five erupted in Beelzebub’s flesh rotting fires that ate away at them quickly, relinquishing zir blade back to zir. A Fallen took zir sword to his gut and ze brought the blade up and through, splitting him in twain and finishing zir swing into the soft flesh of another soul nearest as Beelzebub kicked another away. They kept barreling up on zir but ze kept striking or burning them down. 

At one point ze had to dodge a swing of a blade, ze launched zirself on zir back and sprang forward to zir feet and flung down into a barrel roll that ended with another being getting impaled in her stomach and the Prince twisted it before wrenching it free. Fire came into play with one of the smarter monster-human hybrids and she lay hands on the Prince but it petered out quickly. Such small fires and flames did very little when the Prince could will it back with thought. Beelzebub decided to use it against this one to take on the horde coming up behind them, let it consume its wielder far too quickly, her screams being devoured by the flames; ravenous to move on to those behind her and leave the flora unharmed in its devastation. 

The Prince of Hell willed it far through the field until ze knew it would become too rampant and wild and snuffed it out. 

It was then that another wail from the mysterious enchanter was let loose. The ear-piercing call like a siren call that Beelzebub had to steel zirself from listening to. Ze couldn’t go back to those memories and ze would NOT allow it to overwhelm zir for another second. Whatever the Heavens was going on was so much worse than the forces of Heaven and Hell had been expecting and Beelzebub was furious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to balance. Please tell me if it's not balanced because battles have a lot of action and less talk. And then I tried to ensure turmoil was there...yup...
> 
> Regardless, please tell me what you think. I ALWAYS appreciate what you write out in response to my work and I do hope you enjoy it. I like to hear what you take back from this and I always will respond. Please tell me if there were any confusing passages or if I missed a TW, NO ONE needs a surprise like that. 
> 
> I hope everyone is as safe as they can be during our own trying times and that this brings you a little out of this world adventure(?) of angst (lol what is wrong with me?!) for just a little while.


	5. Bleeding Out In Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up on the battlefield as Gabriel and Beelzebub learn new things about themselves and fight back both hordes of oncoming enemies and turned demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Self-mutilation (twice), sexual and power abuse, coercion, memories being triggered, a bit of gore because...War. 
> 
> Lots going on here. 
> 
> The war is taking MUCH longer than I had intended and I wrote two other chapters which may help me in the long run. Please forgive me and I hope this brings you all a little...entertainment? I tried to make it less drivel and proof read and edited so many times......Send help or cookies!
> 
> There is a heartfelt moment but it aint with anyone I had intended to highlight (it's not RaguelXAsmodeus, you kill me, Ginerva!!!) 
> 
> Things are getting hairy out there and I'm trying to keep myself contained and do what's right for those around me and those I don't know. (sewing up a storm with those face masks.) I REALLY hope you're all okay, doing what you can, staying safe in these trying times, and I hope that my writing at least brings a little something different to you to ease your day. <3

The call. 

The first time ze heard it at the offset of the battle it made zir relive the moment Lucifer first laid hands on zir to show His affections. The first time He kissed zir, weaving such warm hands around the back of zir neck to bring zir closer. Hands that battled the cold that had consumed zir after the burning Fall from the skies and into the sulfurous pits. 

And it felt wrong. 

Ze felt zir lungs seize up on hearing Him tell zir He Loved zir in the memory. But it wasn't from elation but from confusion and trepidation. It made no sense, at all. Not the first time nor the very last. And definitely not when He brought zir to His bed, whispering those words of Love. A certain flare set off in zir gut and ze tried to believe it was unease from never having bed another before, though He had said they had done so Before. Together. 

But ze couldn’t remember that and Beelzebub could sense something off in words spoken.

In the moment Beelzebub was forced to recall He was greedy. Though in that moment, seemed a chaotic rush before ze eventually answered with zir own wary touch because ze didn’t know what else to do. He said He knew the Truth of them, told zir how ze felt, in such alarming detail, beneath Him in the dirt their first night together under the stars. Of how He had made zir come undone, shivering in the moonlight on the Earth the night the stars were first gifted to kiss it. Beelzebub had to trust him, why else would ze have Fallen if not for Him? Lucifer being the guide to push behind zir revolting against Heaven for something...something lost to zir...and the Love He said they had shared?  
Why else?! 

The memories thrown on zir, like a bucket of freezing water, of that seemingly quiet moment in the depths of the early days of Hell to the forefront pierced zir core with regret, pain, and anger. Hands that didn’t feel like they belonged on zir grabbed too quick, too hard, too demanding. Took hold of zir breasts, zir waist, zir face, stuck probing fingers into the folds of zir body between zir legs, taking every inch of zir and touching. Even when Beelzebub felt the memories of wishing to peel zir flesh off to leave He was pulling zir close as though He would never let go. As though ze were something to covet and keep only for Himself. He had even marked zir, biting into the flesh of zir bosom, just high enough that it would be seen over zir robes. So that all could see... 

It was true in a way that He hadn’t ever really let go. 

When the call of the Damned had let zir go, knocking the wind out of zir, the Prince felt shock and then rage over feeling violated. Once for zir memories of zir early vulnerability and once more for it being used against zir. And yet once again on seeing the Archangel Gabriel standing so close ze could see his eyes, the color of lavender, catching in the light from the moon. For some reason ze felt the need to turn from him, to be out of sight. It didn’t help that the trusting lout stood still as one of the Damned morphed and grew before him and looked ready to tear his pretty and empty head from off his shoulders. Ze couldn’t let that happen and went to his aide. Ze yelled at him to pay attention and watched as he tried to shake out of his stupor. 

And at the second calling, Beelzebub was forced to see more. Ze were trying to put together the pieces before zir as to why He chose zir, too numb and confused. All while He circled zir in the council room. Ze could recognize...ze had nowhere else to go but towards him. Ze were smart enough to know ze could not say no to the higher being that was undoubtedly zir Lord. Not then, when ze felt ze had no choice when He touched zir as though He owned zir. The newly Fallen one had no one else to trust but the one ze were certain, beyond any reason of a doubt, that He was the reason ze Fell. He was zir Master. Zir King. Zir God. 

Of at least that one fact, Beelzebub was certain. He was what fueled zir Fall. 

In this memory He kept brushing fingers over zir back, zir arms, barely shy of fully touching zir chest. He was heavy-handed with His clear want of zir, eyes laden with Lust and cravings. And yet ze wanted to keep from that touch even then. But the substantial power ze felt radiating from Him, pulsing in His veins, as though to prove that He had control over zir even before ze fully understood it – burning zir at the edges of zir mind – frightened zir and pulled at zir all at once. Ze were lost and alone and powerless and had nothing else. Ze didn’t know what else to do other than silently surrender. He had already claimed zir as His own and He was not making it an option, shushing zir words with commands and hands over zir mouth. Even when ze felt so lost and destroyed and wrong. Lucifer said ze could trust Him, weaving pretty words, empowering words, that He tried to pour into zir, tried to kiss into zir. Tried to fuck it into zir... 

And yet ze didn’t trust it. It felt wrong. It was suffocating. But still had accepted it, trying to will away the care of what He kept taking. Damning zirself to Him. 

Lucifer’s words made zir feel something eat away at the soon-to-be Prince, and ze said that ze were nervous in the very memory that the conjurer used on zir. And ze remembered feeling sick and tried to will it all away. 

Those memories coalesced too quickly behind zir eyes and continued on to Him coercing and impressing on zir how ze were ‘such a precious girl...precious butterfly...’ Ending the memory with the very first struggle. His too warm hands at zir throat asking why ze were so cold to him. 

Beelzebub felt as though ze were slipping behind the memories, felt the nausea all over again, but would not panic. Ze forced zirself to work against the memory and felt as a second pain burned into zir flesh. Ze dug the blade of zir dagger into zir leg and twisted. It took so much effort to find that physical link to zir corporation, but it worked. Ze dug and dug until the memory fell back and ze fell out of the haze of it, facing a crowd of Damned that were rushing zir. 

One of the long Dead tried to stab zir in the back, Beelzebub spun round to ram zir dagger into their neck and pull it clear of their throat. Their head fell backwards before the rest of their body collapsed, but Beelzebub waited for nothing. Ze pushed on and made a massacre of the Dead and demons around zir. Bodies that should not have been, turned to sludge as they dropped, and demonic corporations fell as any human would. But all was a mess. 

Ze sliced another from naval to nasal, kicking them down with zir booted foot and rotted a total of six with a blink of zir eyes. Beelzebub ran through it and allowed the fires to singe zir corporation. Damn the glamour, ze were festering and rotting most of the time anyway. 

The Lord of Fliers may have had zir wings taken from zir but ze were fast and sure on zir feet. Ze jumped and cut and stomped and ripped. And at one point, the Prince bit into the face of another that rammed into zir side as ze were held and subdued by the hordes growing numbers, allowing jagged little fangs to aide zir. Ze bit of a huge chunk of his cheek and jowl of his mouth and spat it out. The moment ze recognized the prat from one of zir own numbers ze sneered. He was an asshole and weak. 

-Course he’d turn. 

Ze heard Hastur shriek out in pain and watched as an amassing horde clambered onto the pale demon. They were swarming him and he was being torn to pieces as new members of the horde of at least twenty piled on. Shrieks and howls of pain and chomping, slapping mouths of Damned and Fallen alike. 

Beelzebub rushed forward, cutting down a few before opening zir mouth and letting a swarm of zir own ravage the clambering foes. It was something that Beelzebub found as one of zir neatest little tricks, which secretly amused zir to no end. It terrified so many, including zir own kind. Ze were able to command the little fliers that left zir body with only a thought. And the Prince was easily able to get zir little army to leave the pale Duke untouched. 

Only waiting for the last to escape zir tiny maw, ze spun round to start picking away at the annoying leftovers. Ze didn’t even take the time to assure zir Duke was alright. 

“Ligur!” Beelzebub heard him cry out, and the other man-shaped demon responded and rushed forward but were intercepted by a group of three. 

Ligur, muscular and broad shouldered, was able to easily bulldoze through the small group and rushed to his other’s side. 

“Hastur.” 

Both always said more with looks and actions rather than words to each other. Always a pair. And apparently even Before. 

“You gave it all up for me. Turned on them. Turned on HER when you could have stayed...didn’t you? I remember.” 

Beelzebub wanted to wretch. These were very private things that ze wanted no part of. Ze turned zir back on the two but couldn’t escape, dealing with more of the Damned and turned, before hearing Ligur utter laboriously, “Never could. Just couldn’t. I’d go down with you even if it turned out worse than burning.” 

“You knew?” The demon with eyes of pitch wailed, shaking vehemently but not out of anger, “You didn’t hate me for it?” 

“Never. It’d Damn the world without you.” 

And like that, Hastur and Ligur took hold of the other’s shoulder and brought their foreheads together. No one could hear the sigh mixed of relief and despair that they let go of. It might have been Hell that they trudged through to Judgement Day but it was theirs and they were together. 

The Prince heard enough, even over the carnage ze were weaving around them, it was like a blessed cage for zir. Ze were the last person who cared to pry into personal feelings and hadn’t meant to allow them their moment in the dark. Truthfully the fly demon felt like ze were trying to run like a cat from an overzealous child. The duo’s sudden clarity of charred memories was too much for a battle, too much for zir. Ze spat at them to get back to handling the hordes and dashed off as soon as ze had an opening. The Lord of the Flies didn’t know how to handle something...like that...couldn’t understand how they could. Every demon had been deconstructed and set ablaze in a kiln of the pits as something else. Someone else. Nothing else... 

But Hastur and Ligur were always like that. Inseparable and undeniable in that strange ‘defect’ that others seemed devoid of. 

Though both would probably maliciously chuck stones at an innocent old lady for the fun of it, so they weren’t completely off-kilter from their kind. 

Ze punched zir dagger into the body of a Damned, all the way up to zir wrist, and let zir arm erupt in flames of zir own rot and the body essentially melted away. Ze tore through the last vestiges of the body and wielded the fire against a second. 

The Prince rushed the next group of beings that were ready to ram into zir, setting the first to contact zir ablaze and slammed them back into its own numbers. Quick as a magic trick, ze sheathed zir sword and drew out zir second dagger before using a fallen tree as a ramp to rush up it and launched zirself off it at the oncoming foes. Ze leapt and used zir infernal strength to drive both daggers into the chest of one Damned as ze landed. Ze spun round and kicked into another, dislodging zir blades from the first as ze moved. 

The Blessed siren called again. 

“Fuck all!” Ze growled and the next thing ze knew was the calling of the siren caught up with zir and ze flinched at the tug of the memories they tried to drown Beelzebub with. It felt just as bad as the first two times. It was like a punch in the gut. 

He had called for zir there to the depths of His domain on many occasion at this point, but not yet for official Hell business. No. Just to fuck zir. And because of that ze knew these chambers well, of faint haunting whispers in the darkness, frightening any of the Damned who were deemed 'worthy' to meet there. It echoed of whispered hidden memories destroyed from Heaven, spoken in a forgotten tongue; Lucifer was the only one to remember it. 

Beelzebub felt zirself walking cautiously through the mazes of the depths, feeling that pull, far too curious and in need of answers and how it worked, what knowledge it held for zir. Feeling compelled by stolen memories. It felt maddening that ze couldn’t reach them even if ze didn't want them. They danced at the edge of zir mind every time ze stood or lay in those chambers. Ze thought ze needed His secrets, the room's hidden secrets, if ze were going to gain any power to overthrow him. And ze were willing to do anything, including permanently die, for it. It was a long road to Beelzebub's rebellion at this point in history. 

Ze were just at that brink of the destruction of zirself that ze wanted to take Lucifer down with zir. Beelzebub didn't even care ze weren't being too careful in this particular endeavor, ze didn't think it'd yield much but the whispers had zir too curious. Amidst the dizzying whispers ze became disoriented and ze turned, round and round, only to find Lucifer standing in relaxed poise, when last there had been nothing but air. In a flash, he was pushing zir against the rock wall behind zir and whispering about zir wicked little habit that would get zir in trouble. And then he was sending zir to zir knees claiming that any good little demon would give their King some form of worship and recompense, filling zir mouth. 

The not-yet-Prince heard a whisper of what ze were certain was a name explode in zir memory in zir ear, ze could almost hear it this time. It was always the same one. Almost...It hurt. The name burned zir. And He was hurting zir... 

And ze were back again, just in time to avoid a large claw meant to carve out zir face. The Prince felt like ze were on fire. On fire and being gutted out and set to whither out in the open, though ze remained intact. 

Ze weren’t mad that others were getting back memories of Before. Ze weren’t jealous of the two Dukes who had something inexplicable, something that transcended their Fall. Ze weren’t jealous over the fact that it appeared Ligur had a choice to stay but Fell for Hastur. And ze weren’t angry that ze were the only one that seemed to be broken and not wanting of Lucifer’s attentions. No. 

Ze were furious! 

Beelzebub hated having it shoved in zir face for zir to see. To be shown how stupid ze once were, foolish. To be made to FEEL every bit of it all over again, like ze had been violated twice over the same memories. To be overwhelmed again and feel as though zir chest was clamped tight, lungs halted from performing their natural function, and ze wanted to cut zirself open to fix it. 

But now wasn’t the time and ze let that rage fuel zir movements and drive the Prince to focus on cutting down zir current problem. Beelzebub needed to identify the source of the voice though ze figured ze would be hidden deep within the traveling group. The next thing needed, and probably easiest, was to evaluate the other Prince’s current standing. Find out how many of their soldiers were taken under control. 

Something needed to be done soon or their numbers would be eviscerated, and they’ll overrun the settlement too. How do you fight a siren that turned some and made the memories a weapon? 

Ze sprinted through, cutting those down around zir, air filling zir lungs and burning. Everything burned. Scorched. Even though Beelzebub felt the cold of the early Fall chill zir.

Beelzebub was tackled by a wave of the Damned and turned Fallen from behind, feeling a crash of energy hit zir. Ze ignited, focusing it on the blade that dug into zir abdomen and zir own newest blades, having already tempered them the afternoon before. The pile went up in flames and the screeching forms recoiled off zir, cowering in pain and folding up into their minor Deaths. 

It didn't take much out of zir to do so many at once, even with such intensity to the cast, but it was necessary. Ze could get this skill to work easily if the target was close enough, or nearby another being hit with it. It was useful. 

Ze went to hold the impaled dagger to zir body, it would be bad for it to be removed before finding a healer, when ze felt a set of strong and warm hands on zir. 

Gabriel. 

“It seems like the voice is the only thing that makes others turn. Only those who can’t shake the call. I’ve commanded my angels above to target the gorge.” He all but dragged zir behind an enclosure of fallen trees and pulled the blade from the Prince without preamble. It was good they had some cover from the melee (and maybe even Duke Dagon, in Gabriel’s opinion) so he could quickly attend to zir as needed. He wouldn’t look to see if ze flinched and assumed ze hadn’t. He set to work on healing the wound, Beelzebub was distracted with setting someone else ablaze over his shoulder. 

“What of the angels? Have any turned?” 

“Not like the Fallen. They just stand there. They have to be taken away or they won’t move or respond to an order. They don’t even react when attacked and let themselves be discorporated.” He slid his hands over zir shoulder to patch up the bite there before ze could stop him, a second smaller new one bridged it, and that was dealt with too. He couldn’t just let zir go off hurt like that if he could help it. 

There was another that had left zir great coat and shirt dangling with a gaping hole, like an oversized pocket, and he lay his hand on zir bare skin to deal with it without thinking it through. He saw zir eyes refocus on him at the touch of his hands on zir bare skin, “Sorry.” 

“Not the time for thiz!” Ze tried to push him away and get up but he flattened his hand on zir waist, where his hand had pressed against to heal. 

“No. You listen now. You have to focus on doing your job with a clear head, not go running around all chewed up, not when you have me at your disposal. I am RIGHT HERE and I will heal you. Got that, sunshine?” He all but growled before surprising a soul that had meant to surprise and jump him, but ended up impaled on Gabriel’s sword. He turned back quickly to deal with Beelzebub, who he still had pinned under his unnervingly warm hand. He dealt with it quickly, that being a lesser gash in the grand scheme of damage wrought on Beelzebub’s form. 

The one on zir thigh was pretty deep and he quickly got to work on it, not before flicking his eyes up to zir as though looking for consent before touching zir like that, but only got a confused look. The wound, and the one in zir gut, was almost too much for him to handle with him not being a healer. But all of it he finished to the best of his abilities, there was too much going on around them. 

Beelzebub could only stare at him in for a second before Gabriel slipped his hands under zir armpits to lift zir up to zir feet and heal another wound he spied peeking through zir shirts. It was angry and red but looked more human than the others, it was out of place but fresh. He didn’t have to touch it directly, didn’t think it was a good idea with where it was on zir bust, but it was gone in a flash. Just in time for Beelzebub to leap up and wrap an arm around his neck and propel zir body around him. He spun with zir and the demon’s feet met the chest of another of the Damned. 

Ze slid out of his grip and spun on zir feet to turn and kick one of the Fallen and careen him into another. Gabriel was already slashing through a body and was jumped by another that buried their teeth in the Archangel’s muscular forearm. 

This had been a mistake, even though Gabriel punched at the being once, making them rear back and then leap forward, because Beelzebub’s dainty hand was already attached to the face of the fiend and setting them alight, avoiding the angel. 

“How are we going to handle this if more are turned?” Gabriel shouted as another demon launched over the crowd that he was cutting down and had to catch them, impaled them as they landed. 

“We must infiltrate them and find the zourze to incompazitate them. I can’t zenzze their aura from any of the other Damned. We’ll have to get visuals. But firzt we must get thiz under control.” Ze cut off the head of a Damned that fell in a plop of goop at zir feet and growled in frustration as more came to rush them, about fifteen. Ze let Gabriel take a wide swing at the group before them, his powerful electrified slash cutting through the lineup but not discorporating the ones behind the initial barrage. 

Beelzebub stepped close to dig a little deeper within and let the flames that ze knew how to harness roar, releasing it on the throng of beings. The third group crashed into it, but their momentum had them still tumbling forward. The Messenger of God raised his own hand and sent out a more subtle force of Divine Grace to knock them and send them crashing to the ground in a paralyzing bundle. They all burned in fire and lightning. 

They had cleared a large mass. But another lilting cry and they were both under the spell. 

The Prince fell into darkness. No, not darkness, it was all blank, there was nothing there. Just a blank space. It felt like zir body was undergoing a metamorphosis, slowly tearing through zir, splitting zir head, back, and chest cavity. But Beelzebub knew ze were still standing. And then ze felt as though zir world crashed, as though ze had seen something that made all else become inconsequential. Ze could FEEL it in zir bones but couldn’t see it. But it didn't stop Beelzebub from feeling like the nothing ze believed ze were. Like everything was a mistake. 

Ze couldn’t breathe. 

It felt like ze were looking at the very reason ze felt so lost and abandoned. Deep in the pit of zir hollowed out stomach it felt like ze were thrown away, willingly ready to throw zirself away. And yet, even with the hidden enchanter’s magic, ze still could not bear witness to the absent memories in the darkness of zir mind. To what made zir feel so... 

Suddenly, ze felt zir sure feet smacking the ground, rushing but couldn’t feel the rest of zir body. 

And then the pain...it was so different than the ever-present pains and injuries ze had for as long as ze could remember. It was that enraging ache ze felt gutted from all those ages ago. The pain ze tried to dismiss after zir Falling. But there was no sound, no images, just pain; the feeling of zir feet planted on the ground and feelings of anger and that soul-rending betrayal, laced with something almost unidentifiable. Heartbreak...Zir heart felt like it was being broken and scattered in the winds that would soon rip at zir too. 

Ze felt something crumble beneath zir unyielding feet and felt a pain in zir corporation that no longer should have hurt but tortured zir anew. And then ze were Falling. 

And then Beelzebub could finally see. 

The wind whipping through zir hair, tearing it from its pinnings, feel the wind sting zir face and eyes. Ze saw others Fall in the skies. They were all burning...Morphing and burning up into as little of their former selves as possible....feeling the very last traces of zir Heavenly Grace tear out of zir, feeling as though it was stretching from zir as it tried to wretch free...Tears burning from zir eyes and casting up with it. 

Ze felt it all over again, burning what ze knew were zir wings and hair. Long hair that was on fire and burning zir face and body, it had been so long then...just as it had been now. Ze remembered that. 

And then ze were back in the present. 

Gabriel was with zir and pulling zir along. A river of soothing aura spilling from him into zir. 

“It’s getting worse.” He grunted as he stabbed another that came their way. 

Ze wretched from his hand and turned to take in the state of the field, locating those unharmed by their opponent’s calls. There were a great number turned, few down, but they had many strong fighters that ze knew were left. After striking down another into the dirt he turned back to zir and tried to pull zir along again to which ze drew away again. 

"Angel. Fly. Unlezz you want to burn, get you and your wank-wingz up. Now.” Ze growled low and Gabriel saw something ripple under zir skin. It startled the angel but instead he almost went to chase the movement in confusion instead of fear of the demon. Some habits were just too hard for him to kick. “Go now!” 

“What about your people?” 

“Burning is the least of our problems.” 

And with that ze turned from him and started to run towards the center of the battle. Shouting a command in another tongue that was apparently meant only for zir own kind. Some crumpled into the dirt on command and left Gabriel watching the effects once more. 

He shouted his own orders and cut a few oncoming souls and demons before his wings erupted from his back and spread wide. He turned back to watch the Prince go and reluctantly shot into the air on white and silver speckled wings that shone in the scattered moonlight. He didn’t like the foreboding feeling and planned to keep an eye on zir in case ze needed back up, but he would trust the Lord of Hell. 

He sheathed his sword and exchanged it for a bow and arrow, calling his soldiers to do the same. He wasn’t as adept at them as other weapons, but he was good enough. He loosed an arrow into the fights below, avoiding the Fallen that were unturned and was quickly shocked by the sight of flecks of light that seemed to blink in the night. 

They were speeding through like stars falling in the skies above...or Fallen from the Heavens... 

He watched as they all spirited from a point of origin that was rushing towards the entrance of the passage. A small figure that could be seen illuminated and cutting into one being after another as ze shot forward. He focused as best he could from his height in the sky before the shadow figure erupted into a ball of fire and light. 

And so many were hit. 

Turned, Damned, and some of the Fallen that hadn’t heeded their leader’s warning, alike. Hit by little flecks of light that erupted into their own fireballs and mushed to the ground. So many had succumbed to it but not every escapee and turned being were wiped out on their side, but nearly. Many more started to spill from the pass, as though they were rushing water from a faucet turned on. 

And the Fallen...they didn’t crumble. The demons that were turned and unturned all bathed in the fires that Beelzebub burned them in and let the fires be consumed by their very beings, leaving a lot of momentarily petrified angels in the skies. 

-Bee, what the Hell did you do?! 

He was shaken by the site as were his people...The night was no longer nearly pure darkness; it was sparking in infernal light and Gabriel searched for the source of it, as the fire had spread wild. 

He also tried to take the vantage point to look for their nefarious vocalist but was struck by the call...making him and the other skybound angels...fall... 

Spiraling to the ground and into memories of crashing. Crashing into what felt like another being and splashing into sun-kissed water, his eyes clenched shut in the memory. Taking hold of her frame, feeling her form under his steady hands and against his chest, they had fallen holding each other so close. He heard his own laughter as they broke the surface and felt palms covering his eyes and playfully pushing him back below. He could see their Heavenly robes dancing about in the water, see her frame, pale limbs taking hold of him, but the water rippled to much to see above. Instead of struggling, despite his present self wishing to stand and take her image in, he felt his lips press to her submerged body, just beneath her breasts – startling his awareness over such intimate actions – the Archangel felt as he nuzzled her body, head resting against her breasts and feel as they ran fingernails over his scalp. 

The vision didn’t stop there, more sensory than sight, his hands and lips began to wander further down. Fingernails that belonged to the mysterious being dragged down his back, between his shoulder blades and along his spine. He felt his body shutter over the contact, feeling her so solidly beneath his hands, and nipped at her sharp hip bone, making the unknown being jump and feel their laughter he could not hear ripple through their corporation. Then he tried to stand but the memory was gone before he could open his eyes to see their face. 

The memory itself wasn’t nearly as debilitating as the aura of Love he had felt pouring from her. It had filled him up with warmth and a happiness in that memory. Her Love had felt like the ocean depths, ready to consume the both of them. He didn’t think he could ever put into words. 

He COULDN’T hear nor see her. Instead, the angel opened his eyes to the ground that was rushing up to meet him. 

Whoever she was was gone, and now he was beginning to believe it was better if she was left forgotten. Before she wasn’t more than an idea. Now she was being made tangible, if not quite flesh.He was choking on the pain now more than even that first day realizing he had lost something on the ravaged plains of Heaven. 

Only those who weren’t strong enough pulled out of their memories while some crashed into the dirt of the Almighty’s creation. A lot of broken bodies were left on that Earth. 

Gabriel righted himself just in time and wanted to curse out. Taking a note from Beelzebub’s own rage, Gabriel ordered the others still with their wits about to keep sending out strikes before drawing away enough to concentrate. He needed to find that little cord to the Divine to tap into. That little spark within himself to make the cast big enough. Something to send out and try to focus directly on the pass. 

He reached out and found it. Divine energy that he could wield. He funneled it into his corporation and used it as a conduit, letting it build up before unleashing strikes that hit and passed through a great many of the souls of the Damned, dropping them back to Hell. 

The Archangel had made his own little dent in the enemy’s army and ordered his people back to the ground. They would deal with the stragglers. While they did that, he sent Uriel and a few other angels he noticed weren’t as susceptible to such magics to scout from the mountainside. 

Gabriel, knowing he wouldn’t be as effective there, flew to the ground below to deal with thinning out the crowd. He also wanted to take in their own status. It appeared the angels that had once hidden in the clouds on the other side of the pass had split into two divisions, from what he had momentarily gleaned. He’d have to go to them to learn more about their situation, however, he’d get his forces to work their way through the pass to do that, the Archangel had other things to attend to. 

It took him a moment to spot zir. No longer being a physical ball of fire and being rather short made it a little difficult and he swooped in to find zir a ghastly sight. Ze were covered in blood, holes all over zir corporation and through clothing. The Demon Prince’s sword was meeting with a rather large and powerful looking being. 

Ze pushed away his blade and kept making him deflect, hit for hit. But then another two attackers came from behind and dug claws into zir back. Gabriel shot true and hit one and the other and watched as Beelzebub kneed the last of them in the groin before dealing the final strike with the sword. 

“Excuse me, your Highness.” And he was scooping zir up just as another of the Damned was about to land on zir, moving zir out of the way as ze tossed one of zir blades at the foe, sending him to where he belonged. 

“That was quite a light show you gave there.” Ze husked out, feeling Gabriel already trying to heal zir. 

“Had to match yours.” He quirked his eyebrows at zir as he struck down another. He pushed back a small troop with a flare of Heavenly energy, just as Beelzebub threw out rotting fire, pushing them back and pulled Beelzebub up with him into a higher ledge. Flying was an advantage against these particular foes. 

“Blezzit, pigeon, what are you doing?!” Ze were not used to being up and about by forces not of zir own. It was usually when ze were being thrown around like a ragdoll. 

“Hush. Can’t heal you if you’re wiggling around like that.” He landed them on a ledge with good covering. The Archangel crouched down and pulled zir with him to take cover from any potential threats. 

“Maybe you zhould give up trying then, think of that? Got other matterz to attend to.” Ze huffed and started to struggle to get free but Gabriel had sat them in an odd spot and ze got stuck in a thicket that ensnared zir feet. 

“Please, Bee? Don’t fight me on this, I’m not going to leave you as you are and we don’t have time.” 

“Fuck off!” 

“Bella...” 

“The fuck izz wrong with you?! We need to get back down there!” Ze spat, wanting to slap him and tearing at the annoying devil’s snare and rocks around zir feet. And, of course, ze tripped from the tangle around zir, honestly tired of everything including the angel at zir feet. He managed to catch zir and sit zir down in front of him. He looked zir over, zir face that looked more blood than skin, zir neck much the same. Ze were a mess. 

“You’re riddled with HOLES! You just caught fire and are charred and burned!” He bellowed at zir, clearly losing his patience. “Right now, we all need you in one piece. Don’t make me repeat myself.” 

“Z’normal, Gabriel! I burn all the time.” Ze growled. 

“Trust me?” He huffed out holding out a hand to zir, knowing he really didn’t have much of a choice after looking at zir in zir state of partial destruction, knowing ze weren’t going to like what he was about to do. Ze eyed him and his hand dubiously before hearing a great deal of screeching in the distance. Whatever he had planned had to be quick if ze were going to get back...and Beelzebub trusted him...truly terrified of that little fact. 

Ze grabbed his hand and felt as he dragged zir into his lap. The tiny Prince felt dwarfed in his arms but zir eye sockets felt far too wide; and ze felt as though ze were floating for a moment. Zir body didn’t feel like it usually did and somewhere in the back of zir mind Beelzebub could hear the call of the siren, barely noting it was much closer than usual. 

Gabriel felt like the voice in his head was being crushed by the one in the chasm of the mountain and he felt his body flinch. Something was wrong... 

Neither knew what to expect when they slipped under the call, but Gabriel felt as Beelzebub’s hand held his tighter and shook before watching zir luminescent eyes dim...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS chapter took so long because I wasn't happy with one major thing: Beelzebub's flashbacks. I wasn't sure what I wanted to chose from and wanted to be careful. There will be at least two more but I'm not sure if they're in the next chapter or throughout this story arch. It's a bumpy ride and I'm sorry for doing this to everyone. (I'm pretty much just sorry I've unleashed all these horrid things. What is WRONG with me?!) 
> 
> I tried to be careful though because I didn't want major spoilers nor blabbering, maybe just more understanding of what Bee has had to endure. 
> 
> PLEASE, let me know what you're thoughts were on this chapter, I'm not sure if I worked too hard or not hard enough on it, but I THINK it came out okay? Kudos are like cookies, con-crit is ALWAYS welcome, and just little comments about things you liked or didn't are always nice and brighten my day too.
> 
> If I missed any trigger warnings PLEASE let me know! Stay safe! <3


	6. Damning Memories & Haunted Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle is nearing its end and none are sparred when it comes to the pains of their pasts. Gabriel is desperate to recall the face of a lost one while Beelzebub's desperate to behead the enchantress bringing up everything ze wish ze could forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I hope you are all doing OKAY!
> 
> I'm trying to keep things intact on my end...don't know how well that's actually going. 
> 
> Anywho, I'm giving you all fair warnings, this chapter is not pretty.
> 
> TW include: TRAUMA! Revisited trauma/rape(in memory), ptsd, trauma, trauma, trauma trauma, misgendering and controlling of another's body. War, which you can't have without War (It's actually gore, casualties, ptsd, and more trauma, Gabriel) More blood and gore but I'm fairly sure the fighting is over in the next chapter for other things. 
> 
> PLEASE if I forget anything for the trigger warnings please let me know so I can list it here.

He was back in that studio again, but it was so much worse than he remembered. Everything in the memory was twice as vivid, he could see every detail of the macabre scene. He had investigated that room just as painstakingly as the Prince, who curled in his arms in the real world. That in-depth look was the only reason why he felt he could see it even clearer now. 

He saw the angry looking fractal eyes hanging about the room, painted how fly eyes were perceived, all watching the obscene assault unravel, staring down at the two on the strange raised red dias chair, set like a macabre stage. They were there, just as he remembered, Beelzebub’s cries and grunts and zir delicate hands too weakened to fight off zir attacker, the other brutally forcing himself on zir. Desperate to push the mortal man that shouldn’t have been able to hurt zir away. Had ze the weapons he gave zir, Beelzebub may have been able to defend zirself with at least that, but that was ages ago and ze were so weak... 

Zir wings...Luca was tearing at zir false wings he had dressed zir in again. Hurting zir in ways Gabriel was certain were much worse than Beelzebub would ever admit to, in so many ways. And all the while Signore Signorelli slashed the scene of Beelzebub’s defilement in vivid reds and whites across his nearly finished canvas. The painting far more vivid and Gabriel wished he could have burned from existence. 

He felt every fiber of his being trying to revolt and rush Luca, not away from the nightmare but further into it. He was angry at himself for standing there in the shock. Recalling it now felt like he had stood too long, allowing his small infernal counterpart to endure zir attack longer. He could feel his mind screaming to stop this! To cut down the mortal that was forcing himself on Beelzebub. He felt his stomach roll doubly so, from his body in the memory and from being forced to stand there, witnessing it all over again. Not being able to do a Damned thing about it. 

Gabriel couldn’t handle seeing it all over again, so clearly, he could even smell the paint, sweat, Beelzebub’s blood, the spilled mystery drink in the goblet by his feet. It was all too much and too real. The angel felt his corporation try and fight his memory, he COULD NOT allow another second to transpire again, even if only a memory. 

But that’s not how any of these things worked. 

It all played out just as it had, Luca hurting zir, hitting zir, finally being struck down with Gabriel’s Divine abilities, the SNEER Luca gave him, so knowing and cocky and cruel. The eyes...his eyes were golden brown and not grey, his eyes were pierced of Damnation and hate and glowed like any ethereal’s when charged with energy. They were familiar to him but not enough to recognize them. The Archangel never learned who was behind it and he was afraid to ask Beelzebub... 

In his memory, just beyond the mortal man, he was able to see the terror and hatred and pain wreaking havoc in Beelzebub through zir wild eyes, shimmering from tears spilling down zir face and neck. He couldn’t unsee zir so taken apart, exposed, shivering, and he couldn’t go to them. It wouldn’t let him. 

As though following a script, the Archangel Gabriel cast out the energy that was pooled in the mortal, Luca Girodano’s being and knocked him out. It didn’t feel any better the second time because the damage was done. It would never be undone... 

And Gabriel couldn’t get to Beelzebub’s side any quicker than before...the Damned memory was all the same, and before he could reach zir the memory receded. 

When he opened his eyes, his breath was ragged and he had Beelzebub in his arms, tiny hand clutching his, the other holding tight to his kerchief. 

-Safe. She’s safe. Mother, please, never again! 

But the look in zir eyes said otherwise. Ze were still being haunted by whatever Hell was being shown to zir, and he tried to pull zir out of it, called out to zir as desperately as he did all those years ago. The Messenger of God watched as ze dropped out of it in a flash and ze startled so violently that he started blabbering in whispers to zir. 

“I’m right here. It’s me, Bee, it’s just me. I’ll not hurt you. I’m right here.” He didn’t realize he was rocking zir but kept the rest of his limbs completely still, grounding, afraid to start healing zir just yet. He didn’t want to shock zir with the barrage of even his Heavenly essence. “You’re safe with me.” 

And ze shook zir head, breathing too deeply and crawling out of his lap onto zir knees in the dirt, shaking. Ze were trying to get zir bearings. “Doezzzn’t matter. No time.” 

He didn’t try to pull zir back but brought his other to massage zir hand still squeezing his, squeezing it to reassure him just as much as zir. 

“I still need to heal you. You’re hurt.” 

“Let me go...” Ze didn’t struggle but clutched his hand tighter, confusing the angel. Zir voice was the only steady thing in that moment, though zir voice was distant. Too faint. The look in zir eyes now was so different than earlier. It wasn’t the look of the demon who just destroyed enemy forces in a ball of fire. It wasn’t blazing and enraged by the memories thrust upon zir. It was a look of unbearable pain and it was like a sucker punch to the angel’s gut. Ze weren’t fully there with him, right then. 

There was no doubting these little nightmares any longer, if what he had just relived was any indicator. And the chief of the angelic guards, the Archangel Gabriel, was terrified of what it was a demon had seen to bring such a look to zir face. 

“Allow me to help you.” He choked out, shifting slowly to his knees, leaning his much taller body to keep his head near zirs, wanting to keep zir closer regardless as to who was on what side. His hand atop the one he held left, to hover over zir face. He desperately wanted to touch zir to bring some form of comfort, but he knew all too well why he shouldn’t. “Bee, please...” 

“Huzzzh. No time.” Ze squeezed his hand again, eyes still unfocused though locked with his, and got up but the spot he brought them too still gave zir cover. He could feel zir shaking. Whatever ze had been forced to see was intense enough to alter zir. Ze looked too broken. 

Beelzebub’s chest heaved and ze looked as though ze would topple at any moment. Gabriel didn’t think he’d be able to reach the Prince, mentally. And so disturbed, himself, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, partially paralyzed and watching. 

He wasn’t the one to let go...Beelzebub did as ze pulled away, walking away from him, backwards...to the edge. “Got to get back.” 

“Bee...” 

“Z’alright, Love.” But Gabriel could very clearly see it wasn’t. He would have said so too, if he had his mind clear to state it. Beelzebub looked like ze were in a fugue state and disassociating. Ze were unsteady and...zir lips were twitching. Zir previously scowling features softened by zir detached haunted state of mind. “Z’alright.” 

-What did you see?!... 

Ze took the final step back off the ledge before Gabriel could process what was going on, before he could stop zir. He panicked as the frightening revelation dawned on him all over again at the recall of Aram and the basterdization of zir being, by being forced to wear handmade wings, in Italy, that ze could not fly. 

-She has no wings! 

Had he been human, his heart would have given out on him. It seized up violently, shuddering too hard and with his emotions being worn too raw from this battle, he felt as though it were trying to bust from his chest at the sight. He was there in time to watch the end of zir plummet. 

He stood at the edge and choked out a sigh of relief as Beelzebub exploded into a cloud of flies and swarmed the enemy. Ze were no longer held by the confines of zir body and were not in danger of hitting the passage floor below. Ze ripped through many, bursting through dozens and leaving those fighting for their side alone. The angel was too perturbed to be impressed and dealt with his own internal demons. This conjurer was doing a great job of playing with his, as well as everyone else's, head. 

Gabriel had to take a moment to dispel the image of Beelzebub falling off the ledge from him, covered in so much blood on zir face. He needed that much. But he couldn’t afford the time to shake off the memories he was forced to relive. He couldn’t throw away the half revealed images of his lost Lover that he would never know again. He couldn’t erase the attack on the one he now called wife and dearest; whom he tried to tend to as best he could, as warranted by Heavenly ideals. There was no time for that, just as Beelzebub said. 

So instead, he cast himself down in a spark of lightning to follow in the wake of the Prince. He crushed someone under his booted feet and the electrified those nearby. It wasn’t as controlled as Beelzebub’s flies, though he’d never admit to that shortcoming, but he didn’t THINK he accidentally discorporated anyone fighting FOR them. 

He cleared up the still Earthside souls nearest and was glad to see Aziraphale and another few angels and demons were doing their jobs. Infiltrating the broken line at the pass. 

“What did you do to them?” A voice that sounded like how one would try to personify a shark speeding and ripping through waves called out. 

-Dagon. Great... 

The angel flinched, trying to hide it in a shrug, not ready to deal with this particular demon and watched as they easily sliced through a soul like a blade in water. Their movements were so smooth and uncanny. 

He cast a bit of Divine energy one way and wove back, snatching up the blade that Beelzebub had tossed into the face of the last Fallen that ze fought. It was solidly lodged in his skull... 

The Archangel had swung his arm wide and slashed at another, cracking open the bone of the soul’s face as she sprang towards him. He caught another two souls that tried to bite into his sides and pulled them off, realizing he had forgotten his sword up above. 

“I did nothing, Duke Dagon. She’s badly-” 

“They can handle themselves better without you, wank-wings.” They snarled, moving swiftly and all too quickly ended at his side to whisper in passing, low and deadly, “Stay away from them.” 

And Dagon was gone, back into the wave of the previously deceased. 

He forgot for a moment he was in the midst of battle, thoughtlessly smashing the head of two of the Damned into the rock wall behind him, and staring after the slinky, tall demon. He made a face, all scrunched up in confusion and incredulity, uncertain how to take their words. 

-Rude. What do they take me for? 

He brushed it off and concluded it was another demon not wanting their leader to mix with an angel. He summoned back his blade and held tight to Beelzebub’s blade, forging on. He called out to his people with words of encouragement, to rally them onward. Spotting the Watcher Penemue and sent her to report to Uriel and ascertain their situation, they were gone too long. 

Ethereals of both alignments were gaining an advantage due to Gabriel’s and Beelzebub’s aggressive actions, diminishing the escapees numbers. If they continued on in this vein they’d be able to take out the source of this grossly underestimated fiend in half a day. Thank someone no one really had to worry about getting tired (except maybe one demon who was so done with everything and everyone). But it all hinged on dealing with the Damned vocalist rending out their most darkest pains. 

Gabriel kicked an oncoming Soul and they went careening into the rock wall behind him, splattering his skull open. The angel didn’t grimace. 

That is until another of the Damned with a sword lashed out, he missed stabbing into the angel...but slashed through his once very fine and now bloodied and stained, dove grey, but thankfully less detailed, great coat, tearing it near the seam. The assailant became stuck there when the errant siren’s call rang out. 

-Of course, now. Damn it. 

He groaned in frustration as he slipped under. 

Soft wavy curls. His face was buried in dark curls that he couldn’t easily discern the color of because there was no light but the stars. It was her again. He was holding her close, kissing the crown of her head, brushing the skin of her soft shoulders down to her elbows. She had her back pressed against him and he felt warmth coursing through his corporation over their closeness. 

He heard the song that had plagued him for too long being hummed out by her as she swayed in his arms, like they were dancing to it. He felt his former self swathed in such a Peace and Love Gabriel’s mind flinched back but couldn’t escape the mental snare. It wasn’t like angels didn’t know these feelings, but he hadn’t remembered himself ever being this purely content and happy. He had been happy in his ghostly Lover’s presence. He could tell that she had been too. 

“Dearest, I need to go, I’ve been ordered to work on another nebula, with Raphael. It will take another while.” 

No words. No looking back at him. Just her spinning round in his arms, her own wrapping him up tightly and the song stopping. He felt hands weave in his hair that spilled down his back, curling her fingers through it and brushing her laced fingers against him. It made his corporation shiver and he drew her closer. 

Damn the memories, he wanted to get her to speak or sing the words he knew were missing from that song. Hear her voice clear and true. But he couldn’t even get his own body to move to draw her face up to him. It was maddening. 

He heard the next words from his own mouth as he muttered it in her hair, “I miss you already.” 

He heard nothing still but felt as she shifted and buried her face into his robes deeper. Felt as she breathed him in and placed kisses over his heart and heard a very muffled sigh. Apparently, they weren’t much of a talker. She kissed his body again and again and again, covering his robes and exposed skin, and worked her way up to his neck. Just when he thought it couldn’t get any sweeter, she was tugging his hair and nipping his throat, chasing it with her tongue and closing her mouth around his pulse, earning a throaty moan. Both versions of Gabriel were just as distracted as last time he remembered holding her close. He felt his face contort as she played with him that way, but he leaned into it and felt his want grow for her. But a thought in his mind warned him that he had to go soon, and he went to admonish his Lover. 

“You little shi-Ouch!” 

Their body wracked with silent laughter, that huffed out in breathy puffs but no real sounds, as she buried her face in his chest again after she had pinched his bottom, hard enough to hurt. It stopped his name calling though and Gabriel wrapped his arms tighter around them, running a hand through her pinned up hair, making a pin or two fall out, and his other down her back down to their ass, cupping her. He started to kiss down her forehead and further, but he had started to close his eyes the further down he got and took a deep steadying breath before he was met with her lips. 

The Archangel could only feel instead of see as he lifted his Lover into his arms and felt as she took hold of his face and kissed him so deeply. He felt as cradled the back of her neck. Felt as she wrapped her legs around his body. Felt as she gasped into his mouth as Gabriel’s fingers squeezed her bottom. 

He felt as though he could fall into that kiss, feeling as she slipped her tongue into his mouth, tasting him but tasting of nothing. He couldn’t smell anything but the dirt and garden of Heaven around him. It was so frustrating to only feel, to just glance at enough, and yet know nothing about the being that was plaguing him. His ghost. 

At least now knew for certain she was the owner of that voice that haunted him. The melody was clear now, but he knew now he had never heard it. 

And the next thing Gabriel knew he was back on the battlefield, the same Damned just finishing tearing through his coat. It was now that he discerned that the memories were quickly divulged in barely seconds to them and was why no one who wasn’t turned to either the opposition or to stone were cut down while these effects tore through them. 

He brought his sword down on the neck of the being who over-extended himself and he dropped to the ground in a puddle of goop that got all over Gabriel’s boots. The rather fastidious angel did indeed grimace, this time. 

A shriek was heard throughout the pass and he turned to try and find the source. The little Lover’s singing was already shrill, but they screeched in his ear and he jumped, until he turned to see Beelzebub rebuilding zirself as ze burst from the body of a Damned. Ze were not too far in the distance, raised on a ledge. Covered head to toe in black and red blood, eyes still wavering between vacancy and reality, still fluttering in color like the planet’s northern lights. 

-At least she’s fighting. She’s still going. 

He mentally assured himself and turned back to dodge a few beings that were trying to overpower him. The Messenger kicked one between the legs and drove his knee into the side of another, it was unnecessary but effective. The next few that had buried teeth or claw into his limbs were like trying to pry leeches off one’s flesh. Not easy without the proper tools. 

He used his fists to slam into them and two dislodged, giving him clearance to stab into the last one. He swung at the ones on the ground, finishing them off. 

Cutting down or using his lightning to smite those in his path, he pushed on and tried to follow Beelzebub further into the fray. He wanted to provide backup, doubting ze’d need it but feared the mental damage dealt. The need to find the siren amplified and he tried to redouble his focus. 

The pass was dense but being a powerful being amongst human souls that had festered in Hell was only difficult when dealing with that voice. They had to find the enchanter soon and it was clear they were closer to the middle of the haphazard army. 

As the angel found himself in a rather large cluster of what looked to be turned and a few souls, finding himself encircled, Gabriel dug for a little power. He wasn’t worried. Actually, the Archangel was rather excited. He wanted to unleash enough Heavenly Wrath to thin out their targets. It looked to be about thirty? And when he placed himself in a fighting stance, ready for one to lash out, Gabriel charged up and let it do the work for him and he felt the smirk tug at his lips. 

However, he wasn’t expecting to turn round to find a rather diminutive being behind him. Her hair long and curly, running down her lithe mostly nude frame, stood tall and imperious despite the surrounding carnage. She was strangely beautiful for one twisted in Damnation, and her blue eyes sparkled in the scant moonlight, much like how Beelzebub’s could but just not the same. A knowing smile perked up at the Messenger and she, seemingly unarmed, slowly advanced towards him with an unsettling gleam in her eye. 

She was short and pale, not unlike Beelzebub, with not dissimilar cherubic cheeks, and Gabriel could only think that this situation with this particular being was getting a bit weird the closer she got. No one else seemed to notice her, even though others attacked and were dealt with quickly by those nearby. 

When he went to raise his sword, he felt slim arms encircle his neck, not attacking. He stalled in complete confusion, weapon raised, and a confused look on his face as he felt something was weighing him down. Like he was being called in another way, not by a nefarious voice, though the ghostly Lover was SHRIEKING in his head...When a small booted foot came crashing into the side of the woman’s head, sending her flying to the dirt...her head exploded, and Gabriel wasn’t exactly sure if that happened from the foot to the face or the crash to the ground. 

Gabriel turned back to see Beelzebub in the woman’s place, still not entirely zirself yet, but a stern glare was fixed onto the remains. Then zir iridescent eyes flicked up to him. 

“Uuuuhhh...thank you?...” 

Ze blinked once, gave a disgruntled huff, and ran back the way ze came, leaving an unnerved Gabriel in zir wake, hands still aloft. The Messenger of God felt a distinct prickle of zir annoyance in zir aura and he breathed a sigh of relief. Not what he wanted, exactly, but it was a more normal behavior for Beelzebub. Though he wasn’t sure why ze seemed annoyed with him. He shrugged it off and continued on. 

Beelzebub, however, was feeling very much like ze were floating around in dissonance. Ze roared to zir people to watch out for the succubus and incubus, frustrated over the one ze caught trying to sway Gabriel, who stood there like an idiot (not that ze would have admitted that! Nor allow zirself to recognize why!). Ze knew that anyone could be fair game for these pesky little creations of Asmodeus and cursed him in multiple tongues. 

Casting a glance around, shouting another directive, the Prince was certain that one of the blonde angels, a Principality if ze remembered correctly, was gasping back against a wall, hand out. He apparently was dealing with his own little Lust demon. Strange fiery red hair and very skinny. He pushed him away, face on fire, and dodging out of his way as another angel made their features turn. 

-Blessed incubi! I swear, I’ll order Asmodeus castrated after this, the barmy arse! 

Ze tried to push zirself past what ze had just experienced hidden in the crags of the hillside, wrapped up in the Archangel’s arms. Tried to shake the vision. Tried to ignore the welling up of emotions and revolt against zirself. 

Fighting was the only thing ze could do on autopilot. Ze crashed through groups, set them ablaze, impaled and rotted dozens in a flurry of internal hysteria. The world around zir felt wobbly and all ze could keep attached to was the memory. 

The Prince figured it was bound to come. Wasn’t the worst but was certainly polarizing. Beelzebub couldn’t control the shaking that plagued zir corporation, but ze kept moving. Cuting down all in zir path. Many a being was burned down with rotting fire, set with the flint sparked in zir eyes. 

But zir mind couldn’t shake the images brought to the surface. 

Ze had always known it was Lucifer who had poured himself into Luca, the aura of pure Hell and His golden eyes was enough to prove. Knew it was his doings. Ze had thought ze had buried that memory deep and forgotten it in the depths. But ze had thought the same of every other Blessed memory. 

What the Prince hadn’t expected was to actually see Lucifer in the memory. He had been observing them in the corner, hidden in shadow. Ze had vaguely recalled the boots in the corner while attacked, the hazy silhouette, but not the figure fully fleshed. He had been there. Watching everything. Laughing at zir. 

He had seen the whole thing but left the instance Gabriel severed the link. Ze couldn’t figure out why He let it happen or let the Messenger be. It wasn’t as though Gabriel was more powerful than zir King, Beelzebub was certain of that. But all the same, He had left, fading to darkness. 

Ze remembered. All of it was too vivid in that moment in the dark. 

And ze saw the symbols vividly flashing out in zir mind every time one of the eyes flashed into zir peripheral. Dagon had not identified, or at least admitted to, even a single file found. 

Ze remembered all too clearly the feel of the mortal who ze wished to destroy push himself into zir roughly. Felt his hands on zir, felt the link to Lucifer in his touch, felt him overpower zir as though ze were nothing. Ze kept shivering at the memories. 

And ze remembered the absolutely devastated look of Gabriel as he came into view. The way his lavender eyes had started to pool and shimmer in the candlelight. How he looked on zir, sick. How he came to zir side after turning burning Heavenly essence on zir attacker and the artist, who had been capturing the moment. 

And then he was rushing to zir side...the memory didn’t allow zir the comfort. Instead, ze fell back into reality to find zirself stowed away in his arms. His warm embrace that still hadn’t reached out to hurt, soothing zir with its presence. The arms of an enemy that was supposed to try and crush and strangle the life out of zir. Instead, he was the one trying to comfort zir and bring zir back from the terror. Calling out to zir with promises of safety. 

-Blessed angel... 

The Prince of Hell felt pain and nausea assault zir corporation but was suddenly very aware of the being stood in the midst of the miasma. There was no doubt who this being was. She had long muddled blonde hair and eyes the color of stone. The demon could see them flash in the faint moonlight. Ze could discern that she was once human, a soul of the Damned, and she smelled of demon. Not just any demon but touched by something far more powerful, something ze had once tried to track down. The woman also smelled distinctly of Asmodeus. It wasn’t faint and permeated the area around her, her Damned aura tasted of his Sins. But there was something else...something reflected in her eyes that made Beelzebub’s head spin... 

The Damned had the audacity to stare the Prince of Hell down, eyes flaring with an unHoly light. 

Beelzebub felt zir rage physically buzz deep within zir chest. 

The Prince rushed the Dead woman parting the way of the Damned with rotting fire and charged through, uncaring for anything else. Ze felt the singe of zir own flames kissing zir skin and propelled on. Ze didn’t even care that the woman opened up her mouth, Beelzebub was going to ram zir blade through it. 

But sound travels faster than little infernal Princes and the notes that rang out was enough to incapacitate zir and toss Beelzebub into a memory. One that was not too old. Indeed, it was too fresh, still clearly scratched into the back of zir eyelids and more than a ghostly touch. 

Lucifer was on zir. In zir. Had bled himself on zir, startling the Prince for only a moment. Marked zir in writings that burned zir corporation. He had already forced zir, as always, to bear one Effort instead of both. He worked in zir as he murmured words that ze didn’t recognize anymore, words that burned zir infernal essence. He was binding zir body. 

Between the words that burned, He had murmured words of desires and warnings to zir. Telling zir his “little butterfly must be careful. You must be weary in what you do, my little Princess.” 

He had warned zir. 

It wasn’t out of worry. 

He buried Himself in zir and worked Himself until He broke and fell atop zir. He did this again and again and again, partly out of what seemed to be some morbid amusement for Him and for reasons the Prince was uncertain of. Ze had a theory, but it hadn’t been discussed with the Dark Council, not that their King needed to inform anyone of anything. Ze were confused but knew ze had no choice but to submit to zir Lord and Master. Beelzebub couldn’t recall zir King being so focused, He didn’t even lay a hand on zir to damage zir. Could remember Him just slipping out of zir and running hands over zir marked abdomen, almost reverently. It made zir sick. 

Ze were the vessel for whatever He was playing at. 

And then, almost immediately after, within the sixth week of being bound to a bed, frozen in some bizarre half-conscious state, blinking in nightmarish images, and attended by other powerful beings that had been adding protective magics to zir body, Asmodeus came to the council in a rage about what had happened in the circles. Raged about his sinners running free. And then ze were dragged rather forcefully from zir relative seclusion into fixing it, put in charge by Hell’s King once again. No one else was as trusted with it. 

He still didn’t let zir leave without a warning. He gave zir that innocent wicked looking smile and sent zir off into battle. Ze felt zir blood run cold but wouldn’t let it show. Ze knew better that ze were well and truly fucked. 

In the next second, Beelzebub had shoved the blade into the open mouth of the woman who glared back. As the Prince, in zir newfound rage, went to ignite the woman a shock shot up Beelzebub from zir blade into zir. 

-Fuck! 

The enchanter’s body crumpled to the ground as soon as Beelzebub drew zir blade back and ze staggered with it, feeling pain churn in zir guts. Demons who had been turned flinched and staggered as they came to, and Beelzebub yelled out an order to all. “Fall in and stomp these fuckers into the Earth! I want these tozzerz back in their Hellz by dawn!” 

And the rampage went on into the night. The Prince shaken by what ze were shown and pangs afflicting zir stomach were only getting stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes! Lots going on in here. I hope this was balanced but let me know what you take away from it. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought, what you THINK you gleaned from the memories (I have one more for Gabriel), or what you think is going to happen in this arch/season (what in some higher powers name am I doing?!) and just any comments, questions, or concerns for my mental state are always welcome. 
> 
> I thoroughly ENJOY and APPRECIATE your comments and always try to get back to you. I may not be as articulate as I hope so please excuse the anxious potato that I am when I respond.


	7. Familiar & Worn Out Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle has drawn to an end, Gabriel is tormented by one more revelation from the Hellish Siren and Beelzebub is facing a new internal Hell of zir own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: More blood! More gore! More PTSD! Who’d have thought I had this rolling in my brain world?! NOT ME! The last thing is not something I’m writing out lightly, I know it’s a dreadful thing and is no joke, but it involves a miscarriage. (which if you’re up to date from the previous chapter you can probably read between the lines.) Also, there is intentional misgendering. 
> 
> But also...before the world Pandemic I didn’t think this story was going to happen. I just wanted to play with clothes from the 1700s on a fastidious angel and a really annoyed demon. And then I decided to be a bit of a devil, myself. This kind of imploded on my from little ideas I HAD that REALLY escalated when I needed reasons the whole thing would go down and WHY Heaven and Hell wouldn’t kill each other.

One last call. 

That one last shrill call of the siren and he was soaring. He was up above with Michael and Uriel. A heavy melancholy was in his memory version of himself and he felt as both his siblings were trying to soothe his spirits with their auras. His chest hurt and it felt like it had been a throbbing pain for a while. Oddly enough...it felt like his aura was being inflicted with pain and sadness and fear. 

A sudden hand on his chest and another on his wrist. Looking down and there was an alarming amount of what looked to be gold blood on the ground. 

-Is this right at the start of the Rebellion? 

He tried to quickly go through the memories he did possess and recalled that he had been training with the Dominions moments prior. Michael had been there with him, not Michael and Uriel. 

No. This wasn’t the onslaught of the rebellion. However, somewhere deeply absconded away in his subconscious warned him that this, too, was one of those moments that was devastatingly significant. Like his mind was trying to brace him. 

He and his siblings were near the Almighty’s chambers and he was certain he was passing by. Looking down he saw that the blood was trailed to those chambers from the garden and he felt his heart leap in his throat from worry and the sudden uptick of pain that radiated from a tiny lone form on the grounds of Heaven below. The soft wavy dark curls of his lost Lover. 

She appeared to be in immense pain. Gabriel realized it was hers that was assaulting his aura and out of control. He saw that she had collapsed to the ground, clutching her abdomen, her face obscured from him as she buried it in the ground and her frame shook. 

Two things happened at once. 

Gabriel felt himself startle at the image of his little Love, yes. But he did not go to her. He actually reared back in the skies a little and Michael and Uriel had to hold him still. He WANTED to go to her and he WANTED to speed away. His heart felt like it was having technical difficulties and wouldn’t unclench. 

“Leave her, brother.” Uriel said quietly, so much remorse and sadness filling their voice. 

“But...” 

“Someone else will help them, I’m sure of it.” Michael added. 

But from what Gabriel could see of all the rest of the Heavenly Host nearby everyone else was just watching the angel curled on the ground shake and squirm. The celestial was struggling to get to the Almighty’s chambers, and they all allowed her to feel pain. He allowed her to feel this startling pain that he could feel ripple off her. 

The Gabriel in the moment was in turmoil over what to do, debating going to her. He knew, the memory came to him from his past self, thinking...’no one would go to her aide after what she’s done...’ 

And just as he was about to go to her side, biting his lip and pushing himself to think of how his Mother Almighty would preach them all to be Merciful in these instances, that he needed to be an example and bear that burden, he went to shake off his family to go to his once Lover; however, another form came forward and he was stopped again. 

But it was neither Michael nor Uriel who stopped him. 

It was Lucifer. 

He was there. 

He was laying hands on Gabriel’s crying Lover. 

The Archangel of the Dawn, of Gabriel’s past, felt such Envy and heartache on seeing his brother, the Morningstar, there with the one he was certain was part of his heart. But it was the Gabriel of the present who was panicking. Shouting internally to himself to go to her, to keep Lucifer from her, to not let the Morningstar touch her. He knew. HE KNEW somewhere in the back of his mind, somewhere in his heart, that this was one of those defining moments that could not be undone but had been of great consequence. 

His heart was in pain and remorse and his past self was feeling resignation. 

-No! No! No! Don’t let Him take her, you fool! 

He watched as Lucifer’s face changed, just minutely, from one of curious confusion, not yet certain what He was witnessing, to a soft smile. 

It was not a good smile. It was THAT smile. The smile he saw on his brother’s face back in Italy, when He stood in the robes of a man of the cloth, that had brought Beelzebub to zir knees before Him. The smile Beelzebub recoiled from. It was a smile that shook Gabriel to see Gracing His face as He looked down on Gabriel’s little Lover. To see it so plainly in the realm of Heaven, Before, was alarming. Not once in all his time with his brother, Before, had Gabriel seen that face attached to Him. 

“Come, Gabriel...she’ll be fine. Luci will take care of them now.” Michael supplied, trying to coax him along, Uriel placing a hand on his chest and saying that “She’ll be okay.” 

His former self drew away, turned away from the sight. From her. And Gabriel left her to that fate. 

He heard thoughts that were not his own ring clear through his head as he was trying to stop his former self. Words that said she wasn’t his to worry about anymore and Hoping Lucifer would take care of her. It felt as though he really wished it even though his heart was in such pain and he could recognize that the second aura of pain, the one that felt attached to him, was flaring and tinged with confusion and recoiling, a new nervous frenetic energy, but it was not receding from the Messenger. 

-No! He will hurt her! He’ll corrupt her! You IDIOT! 

But he knew it was pointless. He knew from what he had witnessed from the memory of Beelzebub’s attack in the art studio that nothing could be changed. It would play out and he watched as he left her to Lucifer’s nefarious designs. 

Gabriel LEFT her there. 

The fact that he could recall this now filled Gabriel with regret and anger. Anger at himself and anger at Lucifer. He could have stopped it, regardless of whatever happened between the two former Lovers. It wasn’t worth Damning her. If he had known what was to come, he would have stopped Lucifer from sinking his claws into her, from corrupting her. He would have rushed to her aide... 

The fact that not once could Gabriel view her face didn’t register, he was too consumed by other worries, both past and present. He couldn’t help but rage at himself for now knowing that Gabriel left her there, allowed others to leave her there in a time of need. And there had been such an alarming amount of blood on the floor... 

-Why didn’t you help her?! How could you see that and think sure THAT was acceptable?! 

When Gabriel broke free of his memory, he was furious. 

Never before had he been this furious at himself. He felt like a fool and that he had, in a way, wrapped her up in a little bow, pushed her along, and said ‘Here, Luci, have a little minion. Enjoy your rebellion!’ 

Gabriel was mad at her, too, she had made her choice. The very clearly wrong choice. But in the back of his mind he couldn’t help but think, after what he had witnessed, that he helped her along to freely chose Damnation when she was in such extreme pain, bleeding on the ground and he turned away from her. The hand that did reach out for her was the one that corrupted many, manipulating the needy ones. 

And it was his Wrath made Gabriel burn, through his corporation and outwards to touch the surrounding demons and souls. They recoiled from him physically and he looked to them all to realize where exactly he was. 

-Well, no time like the Damned present. 

And he got to work felling the foe and sending them back below, where they all belonged. He had to clear his head and what better way than to do the work of God and handle the fiends. He didn’t attack the ones he was not supposed to, he wouldn’t go against orders, so he did what he could. 

But the voice in his mind was crying... 

That was new... 

But he ignored it just as he ignored her in her clear time of need. She was a ghost to him now anyway.... 

He forgot his little Lover because he didn’t know what else he could do for them now. The thought that all he could repay them with was a quick Merciful Death during Armageddon was something he wanted to cling to, but the Archangel had never learned of her face. He doubted he’d be able to recognize her. 

He felt his regret pressing in on him and threw that away too, there wasn’t time for that here. 

And the further he went into the fray the louder that Damned one's sobbing got. 

It was to the point of distraction and he stopped in his movements once or twice, earning a cut or bite from a few souls – it was a good thing his body could heal itself – but he barely flinched and struck them down. It wasn’t until a blade whizzed past his head that he fell out of his morose musings and the singer quieted down. 

Looking back, he saw as a soul melted into the ground behind him. 

He looked on Beelzebub, patches of pale skin looking paler than he last saw zir. Still covered in gore. Still riddled with holes. And now weaponless, with the eyes that he could swear were Blessed by God. Ze were a mess and looked about ready to explode or implode, the Messenger wasn’t really sure which. He wouldn’t put it past Beelzebub to do both. 

The look ze were giving him was one he was so familiar with, resigned indifference. Blank. But he knew from zir traitorous eyes that ze were just as lost as he. Emptied. Gutted out. Figuratively of course. But looking at zir form he realized that figure of speech may not be that far from the truth. The Archangel was back to being upset about zir physical state of being. 

-How can she let herself get in this state?! 

Ze appeared so easy with the carnage that was wrought on zir body, not allowing him to heal zir. That was something he couldn’t wrap his head around. Other demons were noted to have healing abilities, why was Beelzebub different? He tried not to stare at zir agape over the fact that ze stood there, like that. Couldn’t fathom how ze appeared uncaring when ze had rather awful looking avulsions all over zir body. He couldn’t imagine THIS to be okay or to just let it be. He had just learned what leaving things be led to... 

And he knew that Lucifer wasn’t above hurting those under his rule. Wondered what ze had to endure regularly and how zir scarred up, burned corporation fared in Hell. After seeing zir reactions in Italy, he didn't think it was praise on zir. And he wondered, not for the first time, what it could have been that was so tempting for the Prince to trade zir home and Heavenly Grace for. He couldn’t believe that KNOWING was worth all this, being able to choose for oneself; it was a ridiculous notion to the angel. 

-Was it worth it, Beelzebub? 

“She’s been handled.” Ze rasped and willed back zir blade, “No more God Blezzed mental azzaultz.” 

They both had to defend against another small group of attackers, but it was easily dealt with. Beelzebub hardly seemed affected but the lights in zir eyes still danced. 

-What did you see? 

Gabriel had a million questions about the situation in his need to distract himself. He needed to put the soft sobbing out of his head and wanted to delve into the melee as Beelzebub had been able to. 

Speaking of melee, it came to the two. A rather large soul took hold of Beelzebub’s shoulder and ze promptly took hold with zir opposite hand, wove clutched arm backwards and stabbed the being in his face. Had ze been using zir sword his head would have been loped off. 

“Will there be special measures taken for the enchanter's imprisonment?” Gabriel asked as he did away with another two. 

“I ordered Duke Ligur to go handle her intake and have Prince Belphagor prioritize her sedation. She needs to be properly interrogated.” 

“How do you think she could do all that?” 

“She was an ethereally charged zoul. Z'all I know for now.” Ze said as they ran through the torso of a soul with zir blade. 

“Just an ethereally powered soul? Like a possession? Can that happen?” He pushed another much larger soul into the rock edifice and electrocuted them directly. “Do you have any potentials for who would have done such a thing with a soul?” 

“I’m not here to dizcuzz the mechanicz of the how. Mezzenger! Down!” Ze stopped and rushed at the angel who somehow knew to take a knee and let zir small booted feet use him as a springboard. Sure foot on knee then shoulder then in the air, felling a soul as they crashed together. Gabriel dealt with the souls of the Damned that went to follow the Prince, bisecting them with a swing. 

There still felt to be many to deal with. 

“But az for who may have done it, I have my own ideaz. Not that you need to know.” 

Gabriel arched a brow at that, “Care to accompany me to the other side, Prince Beelzebub.” He called back but ze were already rushing and plowing through. A strange little ball of flipping limbs crashing about into a few skulls. Gabriel was beginning to wonder if Beelzebub even needed wings with how often ze were airborne. So, he followed zir, instead. 

******************************** 

It didn’t take that long to get there, the two ethereals, along with their troops, busied themselves whipping out those in the pass. Without the hindrance of the siren, and no longer reliving the past, they were able to cut through the still too human numbers relatively easy. 

The singer in Gabriel’s head was another story. 

She was still sobbing, trying to piece together the tune with her voice between gasps. That quiet little gasp that Gabriel heard in memory perforated the sobs and song. It was beginning to overtax him. 

Checking up on Beelzebub every so often, and he became desperate to console. To ease someone’s pain, to do his God-given job as an angel, and to maybe assuage his own turmoil by doing something for another after learning that he failed at so crucial a time. For someone he was supposed to Love, no less. 

But now, he had no other option than to fight through the Damned and worry about his equally, if not moreso, Damned counterpart. Someone he made a vow with through reluctant words, a symbolic ring, and what felt like a trial through Hellfire. 

After all that, Gabriel felt as though he wronged Beelzebub too. 

If he had remained at zir side, stopped zir, thwarted zir from zir plans to find Signorelli, he thought that maybe Beelzebub wouldn’t have had to suffer. It was supposed to be only words that the two exchanged, that did involve someone’s Death at THE End, but to Gabriel shirking one’s marital responsibilities to at least protect, even if made of a mistake brought on by humans and pacts, was not something he could do. The Archangel saw that as a failure in his duties, he was not willing to let that happen again on his watch. 

Gabriel watched as Beelzebub dashed from one foe to another, small and lithe and cutting down half human/demon beings that had escaped Hell, he felt chills. Dodging anything that should have landed on zir with ease and grace. 

But zir eyes… 

They were still telling of internal struggles. 

“How you doing, sunshine?” He called out as he watched Beelzebub spring forward, turning in mid-air, and land feet first in someone’s face, then use their head to launch into the next, splitting them in-twain and landing on zir knees, blood raining down around zir. It made chills coarse through him, until... 

Beelzebub got abruptly to zir feet, turned around, and flipped him off with two fingers, face twisted in a grimace. But then realized he probably didn’t understand when he looked at zir slightly shaking his head, felling a few souls of his own, and screwing up his face in what could only be confusion. Ze started shouting back at him in terms that would be shocking from anyone else, in another language. One that ze spoke fairly often, even while not in that specific country. 

-Oh. I think I get that sign now...Suppose that’s telling... 

“Your Highness, I thought we left Italy? What’s with the language?” 

“Fuck off, Mezzenger!” 

They were met with the other side’s forces, just at the precipice of the passage’s entrance. It wasn’t discernible if they had kept the line or not, surging up from Hell wasn’t exactly clean. Asmodeus was near the front of the line and laughing at the carnage. Gabriel’s face churned out into his own grimace as he took in the Prince of Lust. His shirts were left open and his hair was wild and free, though he was skinny he was lean. His trousers hung too low in Gabriel’s opinion, but dismissed it with a roll of his eyes. He was told he should not judge another and the Damned had already been judged once. 

The small army were dancing around the last vestiges left. Asmodeus’s forces seemed to have taken a hit, as did the angels who were mostly grounded. They could see that the skirmish had leaked out of the entrance into the field but most everyone seemed engaged. 

With a growling order shouted, Beelzebub drew the Prince’s attention, and the tall and lean looking being turned his gleaming brown eyes on his regent leader, making a mock bow. Then he spotted something off and tossed his curls back and laughed. 

“Congratulations, sister, you’re a woman! My condolences for your loss.” He clipped out between his parries. 

“What?” Beelzebub turned to sneer at the Prince of Lust as ze dodged a blade and jabbed zir own deep in a soul’s torso, Asmodeus’s curled lip was as malicious as ever. He eyed zir up and down and gestured to zir crotch. Beelzebub was already covered in blood from the Damned, demons, and angel alike, but between zir thighs zir pants were stained with zir own trickle of rather viscous looking black blood. It was clear it had been quick and Beelzebub felt zir stomach contract again as ze recognized the point of the pain from earlier. Even if not, Asmodeus knew what Beelzebub’s blood smelled like, he had been present on many disturbing occasions. 

-Oh... 

Zir King had warned zir... 

The sudden spout of terror flooded zir but ze had always been able to swallow it up before another demon could sense it. But this...Asmodeus had zir right where he wanted zir. He smiled down at the tiny being. He knew. 

“My Lord, what’s wrong?” Dagon had joined them and, taken note of the Prince’s condition, frowned; their blood frenzy immediately squelched from the realization over what was occurring. “My Lord, we should get you to your tent.” 

“Forget-” 

“Prince Asmodeus.” Gabriel greeted, lowering his stance between swings. “Prince Beelzebub, is there an issue here?” He looked zir over as Asmodeus chuckled and pointed at zir and the shorter Prince flinched and started to head back out into the melee. 

“Everyone just fuck! Off! Now is not the time!” Ze kicked at another soul right in the face that had launched at zir and Gabriel jumped forward and beheaded it, causing it to drop back into Hell. Its bloody body deflating and oozing. 

“Your Highness, let me escort you to a healer.” 

“M’not going. I’m not going to dizcorporate, Mezzenger.” If Beelzebub was in as much pain from zir delicate condition, as usual, ze didn’t show it. Ze elbowed another being Hellbent on wrapping his limbs around zir and then ripped his head clear off his shoulders, making the angel grimace at the trailing viscera. Dagon eyed their Prince and then jumped back into the fray but kept close. 

“How can you say that when you’re bleeding out like that?” He said as he dodged and swung his blade into another Damned and kicked a third that careened left into Beelzebub’s path and got a swift jab of steel into his cheek. “The injury must be grievous.” 

“Not your buzinezz. Doezn’t matter.” Zir grunted out. More frustration was coming to the surface and ze really needed this battle to distract zir. From everything. Beelzebub didn’t want to allow the facts to come together with the symptoms. Ze threw a Damned up into a tree higher than the height of the Archangel. His persistence was infuriating enough that Beelzebub would have gladly gone up the tree to avoid him. 

“Stop being stubborn. At least let me handle it.” He countered as he punched someone in the face before slicing them clean in half. 

“I’m bleeding from my cunt, you dumb azz fuck!” Ze barked out as ze dug claws into the gut of a soul that rushed zir. The Prince twisted zir hand and wrenched something free from their being and dark red ooze sloshed down the front of zir legs and ze stood up tall as the Damned dropped. Ze growled and stalked away from the Messenger angel. 

The Prince was furious and getting to be in more and more pain than usual and REALLY didn’t want to be touched or spoken to and Gabriel was just the fucker to do both. Asmodeus’s earlier comments actually pissed zir off and added to zir frustrations. Ze wanted to punch the fucker in the face. 

Beelzebub wouldn’t even entertain what would come later. 

“Oh Princess.” The annoying Lust demon shouted at zir, “Shouldn’t you go stuff a rag between your nethers? Go mourn your poor unbor-” 

And Beelzebub was on Asmodeus and stabbed him in the knee and then stuck him in the shoulder, piercing through and slamming him into the nearby edifice that he was stood before. One of his Dukes were nearby and rushed to defend his Prince, a sword to zir throat, but Dagon and Gabriel were both already at Beelzebub’s defense. 

“Oh look at you, Beelzie. Got yourself a little attack angel. How precious. He’s got the most unique purple eye color...Loveliest lavender.” He leered but only kept his eyes on Beelzebub. “I think I would make my body bleed away my sin-” 

“Zhut your fucking mouth, Azmodeuzzz!” It wasn’t panic that coursed through Beelzebub as ze stalled the Lust demon from spreading filth about zir, but anger. Anger and pain and a need to have him under control. 

“Prince Beelzebub, stand down! I’ll not let you hurt my Prince.” 

“My Lord, I can discorporate the-” 

“You will do no such thing, Duke Dagon, lest you want to rot in the pits for damaging my man.” He growled out at them, cocky features contorting into a snarl before returning his eyes to the Prince at his throat. “What will our King say, Beelzebub?” 

“He’ll tell you to fuck right off, iz what He’d zay.” 

“That’s what you’d zzzay. I think He’d get you to BEEEGG for Mercy, little fly.” He growled out through clenched obnoxiously perfect teeth. 

Beelzebub was just about to bury zir blade into the Prince of Lust’s face, both Duke’s getting ready to launch and dig weapons into their intended target. 

“Enough of this! We have other matters to worry about. Show some respect to your superior.” Gabriel barked at the demon. 

“He bites.” Asmodeus chuckled, “Is that something you like? You know, I didn’t peg you for one to like lapdogs that beg for Her affection.” 

“Prinze Azmodeuz.” Ze growled low and dangerous and zir aura suddenly sprung out and hit everyone hard within roughly a fifteen meter radius. Asmodeus grunted in pain and the Damned around dropped into their second Death, the two Dukes went to their knees, and Gabriel felt his entire celestial being recoil from the tiny Prince before him. It was breath-taking but not in the way one would usually use the phrase for. Asmodeus was twitching and grunting in pain and trying to get out of zir grip, but to no avail. “Zhut your mouth. Get back on that field. And do your fucking job!” 

Ze pushed away and waited for Asmodeus and his Duke to leave, “Rize, Dagon. Go fuck thingz up.” 

“Yes, my Prince.” And off they went, indeed, fucking things up and returning the Damned to Hell. 

When the Prince turned ze weren’t surprised to still see Gabriel standing there, watching the movements of Asmodeus and his Duke retreating. He looked haggard, no longer in his pristine angelic condition. 

“You need to go back to your lot.” Ze said, trying to keep zir voice even. 

Everything that occurred in the last few minutes was sure as Hell going to be reported to Satan. And everything else ze had to deal with was already fucked up. Ze felt another cramp kick through zir and ze grimaced. 

“Go!” 

“Find me after the battle.” His brow was contorted into something Beelzebub no longer had the patience to try to ascertain anymore, then fell back into battle. 

Ze groaned loudly, afraid to even ponder what he would try to ‘help’ with, cringing. Beelzebub jumped back into battle, shouting back at him, “like Heavenz I will, Archangel!” 

******************************* 

Hours later, after things had fallen into a lull and the Arch-demons and Dukes under zir command were taking out the remnants of the half dead, the angels doing so as they prayed over their leaving souls, two ethereals of opposing forces found each other. 

“Prince Beelzebub, we’ve taken a soul who has surrendered to us, into custody. He says he wished to trade information but asked for you by name.” 

“Really? Did they zzay what they want in exzzchange?” Ze eyed him. Beelzebub was honestly so done and couldn’t count on the angel behaving, not even with one of his fellow Archangel present. However, ze were curious about a prisoner. 

“Stop your infernal racket, fiend!” 

“Do not speak to her that way, Zaphkiel. Show the Prince the respect befitting their station.” He held out his hand to escort zir across their undeclared territory. “If you’ll allow me, your Highness.” 

Just to piss the other angel off ze tucked zir little fingers in Gabriel’s proffered hand and ignored the other. Touching between sides was a big taboo, was supposed to be painful to do, and to be seen publicly sullying their leader with zir demonic being was like icing to a very fine cake. 

Ze ignored the looks and stomped on, looking as disinterested and bored at the situation as could be. Truthfully, it had already grown dull to zir, cleaning up physical bodies was more fun. Sludge was sludge. Not even zir flies could be bothered with that. It gave zir nothing to focus on. 

The Prince surveyed the area lazily and allowed the Archangel to escort zir through. 

On the inside, however, ze were so desperately tired and in pain, far more than usual. Zir lower back cramped up, zir stomach was in KNOTS, ze were certain ze were going to vomit and ze were dizzy. Another insightful symptom was how feverish ze felt, which was strange for zir. The rest of the Prince’s corporation was an entirely different concern, the demon was still riddled with the holes zir fireflies had erupted from. 

Standing next to the angel was also rather striking a sight. He still looked well enough, most of his injuries healed, though his clothes were a travesty, spattered in all colors of blood. But he didn’t look like he had bathed in it and set fire to himself. 

The two said nothing on their trek, not until they reached the land between the two camps. It had been taken down before the battle and miracled back up as soon as things were calmed over. Uriel held up zir hand in a stiff wave and waited for them, another two stood in the shadows observing the sunrise. 

One of those being’s stepped forward to greet them, “Brother, it’s good to see you back.” 

“As it is to see you too, brother, but I am sorry that you’re once again in this whore’s clutches.” 

“Raguel! I will not have you speak of her like that.” Gabriel got between the two, he was getting more than a little frustrated with everyone’s behavior. “A little decorum, you’re an angel.” 

“And she’s a demon. The whole fleet of them are all scum and should turn to dust beneath our feet.” 

“In due time. Armageddon.” 

Beelzebub grunted behind them and rolled zir eyes. “It will be you I will personally turn to dust beneath my heel, Archangel Raguel. I’m the one who deals in fire.” Oh yes, the Prince planned to do just that to Raguel. Ze stood tall and imperious, despite every desire to slouch. 

“Please, can we all be civil to one another?” 

“Always trying his best to do good, even to a Fallen.” Hashmeil piped in from nearby. 

Beelzebub grumbled about the Archangel being an ass and wanted to push past them to get into the tent but held still. It wouldn’t be smart to leave Gabriel’s side, even if ze could take down everyone in the tent and then some. 

“You done patting each other’zz arzezz?” 

“No one was patting anyone’s bottoms.” Gabriel said in a very matter of fact way with a face that had Beelzebub once more certain that he never had a clue what was going on. 

“Whatever. Bring me to their trechouzzz turncoat.” 

“Right this way, your Majesty.” He lifted the flap and gestured zir in. 

Once inside...zir eyes widened. 

A man sat chained to a chair, appearance twisted in his roughly two thousand year Damnation, eyes puffy and bruised looking – over-exaggerating his already dark circles common to his heritage – his face scarred horrifically. But the diminutive demon still recognized the once living man. He turned his gaze up to meet the Prince’s gaze and looked part broken and part oddly exultant. He knew the being who had been ‘Bella Mattina’ once upon a time, and recognized zir and the man who had barged in on their last evening of enlightenment all those centuries ago. It was a sight he could never forget.

He let out a soft strangled chuckle, it was pitiful. He bowed his head deeply, ready to pledge his worthless fealty to zir. 

“I see the puppet was more of the puppet master, Signora Bella Mattina. You danced about and played us all well, amor per la stella del mattino.” 

Ze stepped forward and used the business end of zir blade to tilt his head back up to face zir, stepping into zir role of indifferent judge, like a well-worn coat. 

“Pompous fool. You were always too proud a man, Lazzero Brontis. You fell short of your own desires, it would seem, not Graced with His enlightenment.” Ze got closer but did not touch him, allowing zir aura to reach out to him, making him tremble. “Now...do you believe you can zztill be a good puppet for me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...comments really soothe my damnable soul! I appreciate them and enjoy reading them over. I also like concrit and questions, they help me grow as a writer and allow me to clarify when needed. Kudos are like cookies and are also great but I KNOW that I’m a monster that isn’t worth being dubbed a cookie monster. (It’s late. I just finished editing. I may be a LITTLE/LOTTA tired.) 
> 
> But please, let me know what you think.


	8. Sordid Dealings With Seekers Of Enlightenment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old acquaintance is reintroduced to ‘Bella Mattina’ and learns ze are the Prince of Hell. He wants to make a deal with zir in exchange for the info he holds. Gabriel gets to see his counterpart reveal a little more of zir darker side by...negotiating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS...took a bit more work, I know it’s another long one, and some of it’s not clean but negotiations and interrogations aren’t ever, despite what people may think. I tried my best with it and read it over a few times (which...made it longer, I’M SORRY! But I wanted it to flow better), I tried not to be too clmsy with my wording though, but I may have missed some spots. 
> 
> I had a lot going on over the last few days and just may be a little more stressed. I feel like I can’t breathe after hearing from my mom who lives up the coast and I can’t see so I may not be as focused or I may just completely throw myself in this....We’ll see...(Yay poor coping mechanisms, everyone! Please please stay safe!) 
> 
> TW: Torture for information. A little blood. A little rot. Menstruation and miscarriage talk as Beelzebub tries to mentally navigate that. Tooth gore (Is that a thing? Just so you know). 
> 
> If I have forgotten anything PLEASE tell me!

“Pompous. Oh yes, Bella, my good Merciful Lord, but I can be anything you want me to be.” 

Beelzebub stuck him with just a pinch of the blade, blood dribbling onto the soul’s pants. “You are not permitted to use that name with me anymore, we were never so familiar.” 

“Yes, my Lord.” 

Ze didn’t take away the blade but dragged it from his chin to his soft jowl, somehow managing complete focus on zir hostage and still appearing disinterested. He hadn’t earned zir ear yet. “You will tell me who ‘masterminded’ the escape? You were a great orator, Brontis, but I can’t imagine you managing this.” 

The Prince had intentionally ignored the rest of the room, despite the disadvantage of being in a gaggle of angels. Ze trusted Gabriel to keep zir safe. Even if it was because he needed to keep things in order. 

“My Lord...” Brontis stalled. 

“Do not forget that I am far more dangerous than the evils that could ever befall you.” 

Ze kept completely still though the blade made promises of pain with its sting. 

“My Lord, I have much to tell, but there are restrictions, things I can’t-” 

“I am the last person, aside from God and Lucifer, that you should keep things from. If you believe so, you have nothing of worth to me.” Ze withdrew exasperated, ready to turn away and leave. 

“Please! The witch, she swore me not to tell. Bound my tongue of names that I cannot speak. But I know who they are. I know what she’s done and what she plans to do.” 

The Regent leader of Hell looked over the disturbing visage of the Damned and quickly felt out the tether for his binding curse. Ze picked at it and used zir Hellish abilities to break it. It was easy. The human stuttered, feeling the link sever and looked at the Prince in awe but Beelzebub tried to keep from rolling zir eyes. The only other disturbance was when Beelzebub’s nose started to bleed, with all the other blood on zir no one seemed to notice. 

“You’ll find you are no longer bound.” Ze arched an eyebrow and waited. “Your witch was human, her magic wasn’t that strong. I’m surprized you allowed fear of h-” 

“She is more powerful than you think!” 

Beelzebub huffed but zir eyes remained still, ze let a little Hellfire heat the blade in zir hand and travel through it. “Do not interrupt me. I can’t be bothered to be careful and timely. I have more prezzing matterz than the likes of you and witchez.” 

“Please, forgive me!” He groveled, gasping through the pain, twitching in his seat. “Forgi-” 

“Excuse me, just a moment. Prince Beelzebub, can I have a word with you?” 

-Gabriel. 

Brontis eyed the angel and went to open his mouth in confusion. The Demon Prince had made a face at the interruption, not realizing how it would affect the wayward spirit before zir. He startled when zir eyes returned to him, his mouth making indiscernible noises. 

“Not another word til I get back.” 

Ze already felt a hand on zir shoulder, guiding zir away and into the far corner of the tent, zir face twitching in annoyance. 

“Can you just...maybe, I don’t know, ease up? He’s willing to trade information.” Gabriel started in a rather loud ‘quiet’ voice. The others in the tent were definitely listening. 

“I’m aware.” Ze spat, just as quietly, only because zir teeth were clenched. “My methodz with the Damned don’t exactly call for kindnezzz.” 

“We get it. You’re terrifying. I’ve made mention of that before. But, Prince Beelzebub, maybe...?” The Archangel waved a hand about, as though that could help him catch the word. He eyed zir, trying to communicate his concern that he knew he needed to word carefully in current company. “You’re a wreck. How does that appear to our prisoner?” 

Zir whole face scrunched up as though ze couldn’t believe ze heard correctly but knew that, unfortunately, ze had. “Are you fucking kidding me? We juzt fought a battle with the unDead and you’re concerned with my appearanzze?” 

He was hoping it would make zir see reason and maybe play to zir vanity and allow him to heal zir. Apparently not. He sucked in a breath through his teeth and scrunched up his face, realizing he may have used the wrong tactics on the surly demon. 

He had noticed the nosebleed. And despite everything else going on and how he knew Beelzebub’s body was usually scarred and damaged, he didn’t think it good for zir walking around like that with more. He knew ze were over-taxing zir body and the sudden nosebleed was just proof of that. He was worried. 

“Just...” Gabriel ran his hands over his face and scrunched his face up, “you need to treat your corporation better. Heal. It’s important. You’ve been compromised and...” He looked around at his people before leaning in closer to the small demon, “I don’t doubt you can handle yourself, but I don’t want to chance leaving you at a disadvantage due to your corporation’s current condition.” 

Beelzebub blinked once. 

Ze were very close to exploding, shoulders squared and zir whole body tense. Ze honestly thought ze could have avoided Gabriel’s odd tendencies. It took seconds to unclench zir corporation but that was seconds that had already been witnessed by a small Host of angels and a soul, one who had seen a similar event of aggravation so many years ago between the same individuals. 

“Archangel, if you so much as lay another hand on me, I will-” 

“I won’t touch you without your explicit permission. I just don’t want to leave you like this.” He gestured to zir form then waved his hands out about them, and the Prince felt highly uncomfortable. Prickly. 

“You do not have it.” Ze tried to intimidate Gabriel, back him up but he didn’t understand and ze walked into him. Zir little eyes glared up but all it revealed was zir frustration and exhaustion behind zir anger. The Archangel couldn’t help but lock his lips and frown. He looked down into those strange eyes, unafraid but concerned for zir. And Beelzebub’s glare felt ready to burn, “Back. Off.” 

Ze spun round on zir heels and locked eyes on the soul that had tried to arrange for his safety. 

“Now. Tell me what I need to know, or I’ll enact exactly what I have planned for bird-brainz over here on you.” 

Everyone, excluding the Messenger, eyed zir with apprehension, some gripping their weapons at that. The Archangel Gabriel switched gears to his fellow angels and shook his head, he knew WHY he was in trouble and didn’t want this to turn into a political fiasco between sides. However, his actions left everyone confused and eyeing their leader as if there was something...missing from his head. 

The mortal soul took note of all of this, not any clearer about the two’s relationship. 

“Who are you?” Brontis asked, making Beelzebub hold up zir hand to stop the Archangel at zir side, who had opened his mouth, to stall him. Ze didn’t want to have him expel an answer and wanted to be done with the situation. 

“You’re not here to ask your own quezztionz, you’re here to win my appeal. Now. Zpill before I zpill your worthless brainmatter on the floor and make you eat it.” Ze said as simply ze could manage. Zir headache, backache, every ache was really not helping but ze would remain as impassive as ze could, even if humans and angels were not conducive to being so. But really, for Beelzebub, what was? 

Gabriel made a face and tried not to gag. The angels around had very much the same reaction and eyed the tiny infernal. A “Good Lord.” was squeaked out by the pale-haired Principality who had been watching over the soul, but the Prince of Hell said nothing more. Zir jaw had been set and seemed it would fuse that way. 

“There were several others in charge, many just as vain as I, and wanting others to know who they were til the witch silenced us. She found those amongst us that could wield weapons, magic casters, warriors, slavers; she wanted to be able to have control of lessers giving promises of freedom. I was only allowed into their circle to help sway the masses with words. We were all still so...disoriented but the right words always do wonders, as you would know.” 

The Prince kept shaking zir head and frowning at the mess things were turning out to be, considering human history. 

“How did you get out of your confinement?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Beelzebub waited, zir expression changed from one of very stern displeasure to a deeper displeasure, if that were possible. 

“What do you remember from it?” Gabriel asked, crossing his arms over his broad chest. 

“I remember the lights. There were lights like little fireflies, some looked like glowing butterflies. Had I not realized Hell I wouldn’t have believed they could be real.” He chuckled, more of a dry chortle, “But they fluttered about. I followed them out of what felt like a nightmare that nestled deep in my bones. The world seemed to shift from upside down to right-side up and felt as though it was being bled out of me. I found myself on my back and another, a frightful being, was above me, whispering words I didn’t understand in a language I had never heard.” He took a moment before squinting as though trying to clear the image. “She wore a black scrap of fabric over her face. Her lips were black, glossy, hair black and matted, skin like paper with black veins.” 

The Prince took note of the use of zir familiars, ze did have a connection with all forms of anthropoid, crawling ones and the metaphysical included. Ze were just pegged for fliers, namely the flies. The description of the being that woke him didn’t sound like any of the wardens that Beelzebub knew of. 

“Where are they now?” Beelzebub had to ask to be sure. 

He shrugged. “Haven’t seen her since.” 

“Who sang to us on the battlefield?” Beelzebub asked pointedly, ze had assumed before, but at the mention of other magic wielders and the unaccounted for black haired being, Beelzebub became more paranoid. “Who was that?” The Prince wouldn’t take chances, “Eyes the color of a storm, hair like bronzed wheat, skin like a carved out shell.” 

“...Matteuccia de Francesco is her name...Where is she now?” 

“Below.” 

The human soul Beelzebub had known during some of his living years as Brontis stilled. 

“That trick she did with the singing. It’s not a very common ability for a human to conjure. Who gave that skill, do you know, Brontis?” The Demon Lord’s eye lids began to feel heavy but ze refused to let them move an inch as ze impressed glowing lights on the Dead one. “Who taught her? 

But Brontis said nothing. If anything, he was making Beelzebub more paranoid with each passing second of silence. His eyes were just as sharp as they had been in life, they had focused on the fly demon. 

“Right. This is a bloody waste of my time.” Beelzebub had to bite zir lip hard and grunted in frustration, ze stomped towards the entrance of the tent. 

“She’s been gathering strength from devouring souls! She won’t stay in your prison for long!” 

That was something that had everyone’s head turn back to the deceased mortal. Devouring of souls was definitely not a human learned trick. It was ancient and ethereal and something that was forbidden even for demon-kind, unless certain requirements were met. 

For instance, if you were summoned by circle and gifted a sacrifice, that was legal. Or if you were a ruler in a sect and the sacrifices were offered up, that was also legal. Making a deal was ALWAYS legal. However, untainted souls were a no, souls that couldn’t offer themselves, like innocent children or people who were not mentally capable to do more than breath. Those would never be valid sacrifices because they couldn’t properly engage in sin. 

Any of the child sacrificing that went on ages and ages ago (for the most part ages ago anyway) were not able to have souls claimed and devoured. There was also a different type of soul devourer, but they were mostly lower demons that required it to sustain their existence, not power, they required special attachment to the victims to do so. 

A human that devoured souls...that was different. They had already thrown away the rules of balance for more than Damnation. 

“Who taught her?” 

Nothing. He was giving zir nothing. 

“Why are you making me wait and repeat things and ask things of you, I am not a kind person and my patience is non-existent. Tell me what I need to know. You’ll not be getting Redemption from the angels, they think you belong under my thumb just as much as I do.” 

The Prince stormed forward, zir gait commanding attention from all eyes in the room. Ze pulled roughly at his chair and tilted it back so that he was reclining, Beelzebub providing its only balance. “Muzzt I pull out your teeth to get your tongue untied?” Ze groused. 

It was then that ze held up a hand for him to see as two fingers became sharp talons, a little raw looking where it grew from zir fingers. It made everyone’s eyes go wide but not a one could move, not even a typically physically verbose angel. 

Before Brontis, or any other being present, could say a word Beelzebub was already shoving zir fingers roughly into the man’s mouth. He began to yell and his limbs stuttered against the chair, blood sputtered from his mouth, and he yowled in pain. 

Gabriel could see what looked to be veins darkening and rupturing in the soul’s mouth, ze were rotting the man, and the Messenger was knocked out of his stupor. He hadn’t realized what made Beelzebub terrifying til that moment. 

“You asked for me. By name. You should know the consequences of thoughtlessly wasting my time.” Ze growled, digging. “You came to me, telling me you wanted something for your information and tell me nothing, not even what you want in exchange.” 

“Demon whore, that is enough!” Raguel growled and drew his blade on the demon in the midst of angels. But the demon seemed hardly bothered by his interruption, continuing zir work. 

“Raguel! Stand down!” 

“Why do you continue to protect that abomination, brother? She can’t get away with this!” 

“The Prince is doing her job; he is not a victim, but a Damned mortal and we have no say in these matters. You know this.” Gabriel moved to zir side and puffed up and glared at his brother, he believed he could control himself better. He had explicitly told him to not call Beelzebub that and not to attack zir. And yet now, Raguel was standing with his sword drawn on his brutal but tiny wife. 

He heard as Brontis wretched and a squelching sound drew his attention, but he dared not turn away from his sibling. 

“I didn’t think Hell would scramble your brainzz thizz horribly to make you think that another had more power over you than I.” Ze grabbed at his hair and pulled it back, pulling out hair in zir grip, “I can do worse.” 

Ze went for another tooth and Gabriel turned to grab zir arm, “Beelzebub. I need you to stop.” 

Fierce eyes that didn’t belong in zir face turned on the Archangel, colored in greens and blues and purples, and he realized he’d crossed a line. But instead of lashing out, recoiling, or yelling at him, Beelzebub righted Brontis’s chair, eyeing Raguel with a glare that should have had the power to discorporate and reverted claws to fingers. Ze said nothing and looked back at the hand on zir person to the angel attached to it until he took the hint and dropped it. 

“Consider this the only Mercy you will get. Answer the questions, or I will drag you back to my office and let the Hellhounds play with you for a little while.” 

He sputtered out discolored teeth and laughed, barking, unsettling the angels. “I cannot believe I forgot that you’re a little spitfire, my Lord. When they told me of the terrifying fly Lord of Hell I hadn’t imagined you, but now I see it could be no other.” 

“You will answer me, now.” 

“I want to make a deal; I will even show you if you make a deal with me.” 

“State your desires.” 

“A position in the infernal courts. I’ll not go back Down there to rot in my prison. The knowledge I sought in life. Safety from harm.” 

“Gabriel, you can’t permi-” 

“Prince Beelzebub.” Gabriel voice held the weight of a warning, one he did not give lightly. He held authority in his voice that was fitting of a being in his position, but Beelzebub was already aware of the dangerous footing ze were on. This was not something that Heaven could allow on their watch. One more soul in Hell’s courts was one more evil free in the world. 

But Beelzebub remained impassive and took a moment to analyze the situation. There really was no room to bargain and ze could see Brontis knew that. It was either him, for his information, or the angels, and Gabriel would not protect zir. 

“It will be considered, if what you have for me is worth the energy for such an incarnation. Tell me more about the soul devourer, where did she procure the souls?” 

Brontis paused again but Beelzebub made no move against him, just stared, blue eyes locked on. 

“Why, she drew straight from Hell. Taking those that she said would not be of help in our escape. De Francesco picked mostly ones still imprisoned.” 

“How many did she steal from Hell?” 

Silence again. 

“Too many. We didn’t keep count, Signora Bella.” 

Ze slapped him, face stern, “You’re awful at listening to instructions, Brontis.” A patch of rot had bloomed on his face, but he only smiled. 

“I know that nearly eight hundred readily submitted to her on bended knee. Matteuccia had a way with getting people to submit, just like you.” 

“Then I pray that she haz patience, you’re not very good at submitting.” 

“Can’t help it, something in you shines when you don’t get your way. It’s a beautiful sight, truly.” He chuckled and then his eyes flicked to the silent silver-haired Archangel beside zir. “Lord Beelzebub, why are you surrounded by those from...Above? They’re angels, no?” 

“They’re here to ensure I don’t maul you and your people. Needed a battalion to ensure it.” Ze shrugged. 

“Doesn’t make sense.” 

“They aren’t your concern. I am.” Beelzebub couldn’t help notice how Brontis’s eyes seemed to change, they went from a deep brown to a brighter shade. They bled almost gold. Beelzebub’s guard went up but made no move to back away. Gabriel was getting nervous for the Prince and was uncertain of what ze would do. The other angels present were on edge, afraid of what other atrocities they would witness from the demon. 

“But they are yours, my Prince.” He smirked and a shift in energy occurred in a flash. A gasp. A shout. The push that wasn’t strong enough to affect the demon but stank of other infernals and spell crafting permeated Beelzebub’s nose. Ze were too close to notice his right hand morphing. “Proves one’s worth for time, if they’re dealt with, doesn’t it? Even He would be pleased, surely.” 

“Beelzebub!” Gabriel was reaching for zir to pull zir away, but the Messenger hadn’t thought he would have been the intended target. He was certain it would have been the demon, after all that. So, he hadn’t expected for the Damned to lash out at him, break his chains and lunge with an unearthly weapon that seemed to sprout from his form, like Beelzebub’s claws. It was supernaturally fast and he had been too near, none of the angels could react in time. 

“Gabriel!” 

It was Prince Beelzebub that shouted and reacted, blocking and taking on the wound. The outlandish spike ripped through zir, starting above the joint of zir left arm, in zir bicep, and slicing down through the flesh, tearing through zir muscles til it pierced through. It broke zir lunate and scaphoid, shattering the top of the radius on its way out of zir delicate wrist. The Prince’s eyes were wide but with fury and struck Brontis with zir good hand, knocking him out. 

Standing tall, though Beelzebub fought to stay steady after already losing so much blood. Ze couldn’t allow looking weak, even when zir body wanted to break. It wasn’t safe. Ze struggled to extract the bizarre weapon and Gabriel went to assist. 

“Don’t, Archangel! I don’t know what this is and I don’t know if it will harm you by touch.” 

The Prince grit zir teeth and locked zir lips as ze started to move again. Little barbs were discovered going back down to the end and Beelzebub flinched each time one stuck zir. Tense moments passed, Beelzebub staring down the other angels present as ze tugged zir limb in little jerks down the length of the weapon, until ze were finally able to remove it. 

Gabriel’s gaze had gone from the Prince to the others with every new movement, equally aware of the situation. As ze became free and staggered back the silver-haired angel was at zir side and scooping zir up into his arms. 

“That’s enough of this, your Highness. Raguel, you and Hashmeil will watch over the Damned. Aziraphale, fetch Uriel and the other Dukes we met at the council. I’ll be taking the Prince to heal her.” 

“Gabriel, you can’t be serious. That’s the Prince of Hell.” Hashmeil said, sounding completely shocked at such a notion. Beelzebub went from shock to tired resignation spouting a curse or two. Ze were too drained for any more of this bullshit, so ze clamped down on zir wrist and scrunched up zir face and let him do as he pleased. Ze were done. 

“I’m fully aware of who she is. Can’t let a power of Hell be returned in such a state after being alone with a group of angels. It doesn’t look good for us.” He stared at the Principality and commanded him to get going and Aziraphale all but bolted. Gabriel eyed the other two before he stepped out with his tiny infernal companion in his arms. 

He didn’t bring zir far, just up to the entrance of the mountain’s pass where the battle had raged through hours ago and UP. Up high onto the same hidden crags from earlier on in the battle, finding the slightly enclosed overhang from before. A sweep of the area and small barrier later and he was certain they were alone. 

“We’re alright here.” He let Beelzebub slide out of his arms and helped zir to zir knees, because it was clear ze couldn’t stay standing any longer. “It’s safe.” 

“Zayzz-says you.” Ze groaned and huffed as Gabriel got down to sit before them. 

He could see zir eyes were blinking sluggishly and he resisted the urge to cradle zir cheeks, he was certain ze could fall asleep if he cupped zir face in his hands. Instead, he extended his hands between them, waiting expectantly. 

“I do. Now, come on, you’ve strained your corporation enough. I’m healing you.” He wiggled his fingers at zir. 

A part of Beelzebub wanted to take hold of those hands and bite them. Instead, ze crashed face first into his chest with a frustrated growled. “Fine! Happy?” 

“I will be when I’m done with you.” He finally smirked. Down at the sight of zir glowering in zir submission to his demands, his chest puffed when he chuckled at zir second indignant growl. 

“I’m not even going to bother with that one.” 

-Stupid. Stupid angel. 

“Bee, quit grumbling, will you?” He helped zir unfold zir body and slide back into his lap. The Archangel paid extra attention to the newest wound, careful as he wrapped his hand around zir tiny wrist, applying pressure but not squeezing it. There was a lot of blood coming from the long gash and puncture. He took a look at one particularly large eruption on zir jaw, careful to use only his knuckles to settle near it. 

The silence went on for a moment longer until he couldn’t keep quiet anymore. “I meant what I said before; you are terrifying.” 

He shifted so that he could tuck zir head below his square jaw and ze let him, taking calming breaths to get himself to focus his energy. 

“But I also meant what I said, when I asked you to not hurt yourself. That was equally, if not more, terrifying. Why do you do such things?” 

Ze ignored his question but couldn’t stop the soft snort, “You truly expected me to lizten to an angel?” 

“No. Not even if that angel were your husband. Especially if he was an angelic husband.” He chuckled, softly. 

At that ze actually chuckled, too, shaking a little. Beelzebub may have lost a lot more blood than ze could properly function from, ze felt a different sort of floaty feeling and couldn’t quell the laugh. The strange chortle made Gabriel smile more fully and try to commit it to memory, he couldn’t remember zir really doing that before. The thought brought back the memory he had regained of his little Love, how even in the recovery of them he couldn’t even remember how she had sounded while doing the same as the little demon in his arms. 

He sighed in frustration and redoubled his efforts on Beelzebub’s unused laugh, he didn’t like realizing he’d lost so much and wasn’t keen on forgetting things like that so easily now. 

“No, I mozt definitely would not, ezpeczially if he were an angelic huzband. You’re utterly ridiculouz, pigeon.” Ze panted out. Zir whole body hurt to the point that ze no longer cared that he was holding zir, warming zir up. Beelzebub was so close to feeling zir body relax, ze were so tired... 

But then zir body shuddered and stiffened as zir abdomen began to pulse harder with cramps and ze groaned, a new wave of nausea hitting. Beelzebub recoiled from him, suddenly all too aware to ignore what was going on with zir body. Remembering ze were still bleeding, panicking as ze could no longer stop the reality dawning on zir as to why. 

“Bee, what’s wrong? It’s okay! You’re okay! It’s just us...” He took hold of zir shoulders, trying to calm zir. 

“No. I have to go.” 

“Not yet. You can’t do this again. You’re hurt, let me help you.” 

Looking into his face, knowing that they could all have potentially had Armageddon within twelve years – if that was truly Lucifer’s intent – had ze not failed, ze swallowed hard. Here he was trying to help zir, again, not knowing... 

The lights going from zir eyes to return to zir normal blues. Beelzebub didn’t know how angry Gabriel would have been learning the Truth and didn’t know why that bothered zir so badly. The Prince understood he wanted Armageddon just as much as the next ethereal, just as much as ze did. The whole basis of their strange relationship was because of their promise around it. The thought that the Archangel would be angry enough to harm zir was also swimming around in zir head. Ze could practically see it happening if he found out, it made something inside zir... 

But Beelzebub knew that was natural order. That’s how it was supposed to go. Angels were supposed to smite demons and vic versa. Ze knew what would come when the End Times was upon them. Ze weren’t fooled. 

Beelzebub was simply confused. By his angelic kindness. By zir King’s actions. It wasn’t the ordained time that had been spoken of in the Great Plan. It wasn’t supposed to be now but ze recognized that there had been intent behind his actions this time. Lucifer was never one to care for rules, so it wasn’t really a surprise if He had...when He... 

The memories and thoughts overwhelmed zir and ze grimaced and shuddered. 

Ze weren’t fooled about why Gabriel treated zir the way he did. He had angelic morals and kindness and Love to follow through on; he saw zir as an obligation, someone he was required to be Merciful to. He was doing what he believed was his job. It would change the instance he would be told to blow that Blessed horn to sound off the War cries and the façade would drop. It would be something ze knew was normal... 

Ze weren’t a fool; ze were a sinner and a thief… 

-You know how you will help me and it’s not this... 

Ze tried to leave... 

“Stay. Please. Let me take care of you, for now.” 

-While I have you with me. 

“…I’m...bleeding...” 

“Bee. Where aren’t you bleeding?” He was a little nervous at zir strange statement, “You’re covered in blood and too many injuries to count. Hence why I need to heal you.” 

“No. I’m BLEEDING. Menstruating. I shouldn’t be-” 

“I remember you saying something SIMILAR to that. I can’t heal that but I can ease that pain, and I told you to come to me after for it. It hurts right?” 

“But-” 

“And, in order for me to heal the rest of your body, I need you to be as close as possible. There’s just too much damage. I promised I won’t hurt you.” He tried to think his next words over, he didn’t want zir to feel uncomfortable about what he was about to ask, “Would you be okay if I placed my hand on your abdomen?” 

Ze eyed him, more wearily than ever, uncertain of what to say next. Ze definitely did NOT want hands on zir stomach. Especially after... 

“Anywhere near will do.” 

Gabriel knew ze wouldn’t like it and watched the idea unnerve zir. But he had learned how to do this from Raphael before he had disappeared. It was one of his clear memories that was never erased. He didn’t know why he had learned that particular trick, but now that Beelzebub was in such a state, he was grateful. 

The soft soothing aura that was Gabriel’s started to slide up zir arms, comforting the demon. It took a few minutes before ze reluctantly relaxed and let him drag zir back into his arms. Beelzebub was just so tired. Of everything. Ze couldn’t even fight off the sigh. 

But ze couldn’t help the guilt that was gnawing on zir, which perplexed the Prince because ze wanted to scream at zirself that ze were a God Damned Demon. 

-Allow me to steal from you just a little more, Gabriel... 

“Pleaze don’t touch me there...” Was all the Prince could whisper out, tight lipped, after he wrapped zir up, taking hold of the still open wound on zir arm. 

“...I won’t. Show me where I can put my hands on you. Please.” 

And ze nodded and draped his large hand over zir hip. That was safe. 

Seeing zir solemn and pained face, Gabriel felt his heart sink a little, seeing how difficult touch was for zir. Knowing enough. He didn’t have to recall any of the reasons ze told him why, one memory had been slammed in his face during battle. And after everything else that had happened over their joint endeavor ze hurt zirself to protect him from Brontis. He could only heal the flesh and muscle and bone that he was in part responsible for damaging, but not the turmoil. 

“You didn’t have to help me like that. Please, don’t do that for my sake if we ever meet like this again, okay?” 

“You weren’t paying attention. That could have discorporated you.” 

“Should have let it, it would have served to teach me to be more vigilant.” 

“If I had, I’d have been in a room full of angelz I’ve made no vowz to. Love. It would have endangered our temporary alliance.” 

He mentally startled, well aware of how his brother glared at the Prince all throughout, how he hadn’t been the only angel to behave with animosity. Not that it didn’t make sense that they would hate a demon, however, they had rules to follow. And seeing Raguel point his blade at zir...“I hadn’t…I should have thought that over.” 

He shook the thoughts away and decided to refocus on the task at hand. 

“I don’t even know how else it could have affected you, angel...I’ll make Brontiz regret hizz attempt on you. I won’t allow another hand on you.” Ze felt a little dizzier and the words were buzzing about and zir head thumped against his chest. Beelzebub was running out of steam, not fully aware of what ze were saying aloud. Ze hardly registered how ze were holding on to the Archangel’s hand that lay on zir, nor that ze had twined zir fingers with his. 

“Just promise me you’ll be more careful, Bee?” 

But there was no answer. Beelzebub, Prince of Hell and the Damned, Lord of the Flies, and Lucifer’s left hand was asleep in the Archangel Gabriel’s arms, buzzing quietly away...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you all think of this chapter. Or just what you found interesting or took away from it, I always appreciate hearing what you see. I’m LIVING for hearing everyone’s theories as they fall. And because the origins Before have already been mostly written out a while ago I’m just sitting hear cackling like a little troll over having all the answers once in my life. 
> 
> Like I always say, cookies (kudos) and comments sustain me, and I always try to answer and get back to your comments. Concrit is always welcome and valued. ^_^ 
> 
> Stay safe everyone! <3


	9. Alone & Hoping For Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battles over but that doesn't mean there is more left undone. Beelzebub is ordered Topside in order to recover missing souls that are still on the loose. Lucifer's intentions are thrown in zir face, without a care, and the diminutive Prince of Hell is forced to deal with it while being sent out again, on tasks.
> 
> Gabriel has a similar order to follow from Above and, unlike his demonic counterpart, has to endure only a small run-in with something unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: abuse (because Lucifer), intentional misgendering with titles, mentions of the miscarriage and awful coping mechanisms, sexual harassment and non-consensual touching, vaginal blood used in an awful way. I THINK that’s it but I could be wrong. Please let me know if I’ve missed anything. Oh god, I think this chapter starts off awful!
> 
> I’ve been on the fence about this chapter. I debated if the section about what happened when Beelzebub was in Hell was important or not, because abuse parts get really tiring if overused so I was trying to be careful and think about whether it was important and held weight. (Please, let me know what you thought even if it’s just ‘ick! This is awful and boring, let’s band together to punch Lucifer!’ because that would make my day too.) (Also I know it’s awful...I’m sorry!) 
> 
> Things are going to get REALLY interesting again but not in the way I thought. This story definitely took on a life of its own the instance I introduced Bee’s miscarriage on the battlefield. There will be some good and some bad in this arch. 
> 
> The next thing, a lighter affair here, was the issue of what to dress Beelzebub in. I debated sticking to the pants. I will be switching back and forth with this one (I think) and my only issue was debating if I would put zir in them now or keep zir in breeches. I’m just having fun with clothes with these two. They’re fashion whores even if neither will admit it, Bee is just as bad as Gabriel. 
> 
> Also the hat. I changed Beelzebub's hat at least three times. I really wish I could draw better and may take a crack at practicing it, because clothes are great. Everything is taken from actual historical designs with may SOME minor embellishments because it’s these two. (Maybe I’ll make a Beelz cosplay based on a few of zir outfits because I am thankfully a much better seamstress than I am an artist.)

Returning to Hell after the battle, as was expected to regroup and evaluate, both Asmodeus and Beelzebub were praised for their quick actions. They were even awarded superfluous medals for it, but when Lucifer turned to Beelzebub it was for a thrashing. A blue and red ribbon, tiny medal attached, was whipped into zir face and ze were forcibly pushed against the table in the Dark Council’s chambers. 

He dug his hand into zir pants and buried his fingers into zir still bleeding cunt and tutted at zir, almost a croon. “Not the way I thought he’d come into this world. A puddle of filth, like this, between your legs.” He brought His hand back and smeared the blood on zir cheek and lips, ze choked on a grunt of disgust, but that didn’t stop Him. “Perhaps, She won’t let us until the anointed time. We’ll have to test that theory, won’t we? Prove Mother wrong.” 

Lucifer began to run hands over zir stomach and nearly purred. “It would please me to see you plump with my child-er-can you even get round, Beelzebub?” 

Everything about that rankled Beelzebub. The intrusion. The insinuation about zir form’s abilities. The fact that someone, two someone's, had power over zir, control that was not zir own, over zir body. A word flashed in zir mind’s eye too clearly: experiment. A thing to test. A thing that was never more. Something that had no value without exhibiting a result. Some THING to use in demonstration. He had tried to test on zir and wanted more. 

He snickered as He kissed zir cheek, “That would be such a sight to me.” He leaned in close, to whisper in zir ear, “I’ll take you out into a field of flowers, for ALL the Heavenly Hosts to spy from Above. wouldn’t that be nice? You could bask in the honor to bare for me, in the light. Spite them. Spite Her for trying to rob you.” 

A demonstration of the highest degree, but not for zir sake. Not for zir want. 

Everything about the statements that come from His mouth made zir recoil. And the thought sent a wave of anger through zir, and...fear. But ze answered, non-the-less, with a straight face, though zir eyes were wide. “Of courz-se, my King.” 

Ze felt Asmodeus’s gaze throughout the exchange bore through zir. His angry sneer, and the fires of his Envy pulse through the room, but it hardly mattered. Not when their King was present. 

Lucifer ignored him. He only smiled. Such a sweet looking smile. 

That smile. The one that should have belonged to a summer-kissed mischievous farm boy. One who would promise to marry you in May when the first bounty was to be harvested and work was plenty but lead you on to wait, leading you on with soft words and softer kisses. But the one it belonged to was no such being, it belonged to one who wished to bring an end to crops and Life and fools who Loved. 

His eyes were cold and He grabbed zir by the base of the neck. “All that hard work I put into you, I was so careful with you, why did you not listen to your King? I told you to be careful, my little butterfly.” He shook zir, “Perhaps I was too generous. Hmm?” 

“You are always, my King.” Not saying what he “always” was didn’t make it a lie. He wanted to hear praise though. 

“Never ‘my Love?’ Hmm.” He pouted, looking as though he were inspected a bug he accidentally crushed. “Tell me; What do call him?” 

Beelzebub froze. The Demon Prince felt as zir pulse stopped and He started to cut lazily into zir hip with something sharp ze could not look down to see, dipping with zir frame’s sharp curve but dropped away. Not knowing how to react, and never what to expect, ze stilled in expectation of the blow or stabbing. It was a debilitating blow to zir abdomen, doubling zir over into his arms. But not letting up, He took hold of zir throat and kept zir from curling around zirself in defense, squeezing til Beelzebub’s eyes started to water. 

“I’m not finished with you, my little fly. We have still matters to discuss. How you FEEL. But you will clean up Prince Asmodeus’s mess, first.” 

He sent zir away with only the ‘minor’ public humiliation as there was “still so much work to do.” and dismissed zir after giving orders on a dubious few souls to be found and reclaimed. High profile ones holding the keys to more information that they managed to ‘trade’ out of Brontis. 

Beelzebub was sent back to the surface with specific orders and ze would follow them. 

**************************** 

The surface, though riddled with its own issues and debaucerous beings, held a small bit of respite for the Prince. Ze couldn’t take a moment to hide away but it was better than being surrounded in Hell. The humans were much better at leaving the demon be with either a small demonic miracle or a proper glare. 

Zir body may have been repaired on the surface but internally ze had physically suffered and mentally shut everything out. All that mattered was that ze had a job to do and that ze were alone. Finally alone, Beelzebub could deal in silence...let zir not-so-secret little betrayal bleed out of zir... 

It took nearly two weeks for it to end. Two, not completely peaceful nor painless, but relatively quiet weeks alone to deal. Two full weeks without another ethereal in zir life. Though it gave zir respite ze needed, despite still working, it set Beelzebub on edge knowing that it was a breath away from something unraveling the relative tranquility. 

And how right ze were. It just wasn’t the interruption ze were expecting it would be. 

Beelzebub was moving from stall to stall in the market and performing minor theft, when said upheaval arrived on the scene. Ze would look over the wares and enjoy the little shiny things, feigning zir indifference and going to move away before pocketing the new trinket or piece. Sometimes ze wouldn’t even pocket the item discreetly, ze just took as ze pleased and maybe threw a frightening scowl over zir shoulder at the vender. 

The Prince bounced from one spot to another...fully aware of the angel trailing zir, paying for zir tiny sins with miracled coin. The whole act very nearly brought a wicked smile to zir face, if ze actually smiled. 

Ze had barely managed to keep from executing an eye roll as ze first spotted him trying to blend in. Features stoic, clearly trying to concentrate on the matter of observing the demon, and as stupid and frustratingly handsome as always. Beelzebub was really hoping he had been some sort of hallucination induced by stress. But no. It was indeed the Archangel Fucking Gabriel tailing zir. 

The last moments ze recalled with him hadn’t been...ideal. Beelzebub couldn’t help think about it as ze watched him from the corner of zir eye. 

Zir face did a whole production of different expressions of frustration and upset at the memory of waking to find zirself wrapped up so carefully in his Blessedly warm arms. It both soothed and unnerved zir. It was just too disquieting. 

The very last thought ze had before ze had succumbed to zir exhaustion, was how pathetic he was. A fool, for helping zir; that zir wickedness was stealing the comfort he gave through some warped bond, and it left zir feeling wretched. 

-What was that, even? What’s wrong with me?! Why is this Blessed angel like that? 

Then ze had slipped into one of those nightmares that zir panic and pain had leeched into. That was zir only answer for it. Not having planned a dream, essentially passing out, that was bound to happen. 

Ze dreamt of someone sitting out in a field with their back turned to zir, long hair glistening in the bright light, all but blinding the Prince. The sun shining and warm, a small mountain of flowers laden in zir arms and ze felt the urge to surprise the being by dumping all the flowers on their head. Something told zir it would be funny to see the being’s surprised reaction and that they would enjoy the velvety petals ze carefully picked. 

It was all wrong because Beelzebub always tried to dream of simple fields when ze slept. Ze wanted Peace and that meant empty fields and definitely not some field with a being dressed in white robes. 

But, in this dream, there they were, and Beelzebub...wanted to go to them. 

Only when ze went to go to the figure ze felt hands latch on zir arms, too warm. Ze buzzed in the back of zir throat as ze tried to shrug out of them and attempted to make zir way again but the arms grabbed zir by the hips and pulled zir back, making zir nerves feel frayed, just on the edge of too rough. Holding zir in place. Threatening. 

Something had been said, a distant voice ze couldn’t hear, something about buzzing and to stop. Ze felt as though zir buzzing upset the voice. 

It was more a shadow then a being. Ze couldn’t catch a glimpse when ze tried, it was distressing. 

The Prince just had to get to the other being in the field and then ze knew it would be alright. 

Ze started out of the grip, once more, and started back to the one sitting in the field, who sat serenely plucking away at something that seemed shiny and new. Something with strings that gleamed in the sunlight. 

Each few steps ze made in progress resulted in being tugged back by those unseen hands. Hands that started to hurt. Ze started to really struggle and wanted to call out but couldn’t seem to stop the buzzing that began to overwhelm Beelzebub’s voice, as it did when ze were overtired or frustrated or anxious. The hands seemed to answer by becoming rougher. Harsher. Scalding. Ze wanted to cry out. 

The arms flung around zir waist, crushing zir. Hurting zir. Ze struggled and gasped and tried to cry out but the other being didn’t respond to zir wordless pleas. Ze tried to fight the hands that bound zir, scratching. Clawing. But the arms slid around zir belly and dug into zir, though not piercing skin. Regardless, it was far too hard. Compressing zir soft flesh and muscle. Beelzebub felt something snap in zir body in zir dream and then ze were dropped to the Earth. 

Ze clutched at zirself in pain and panic and as ze struggled to zir feet ze realized ze were alone again. Not a soul to be seen, not even the other who had sat in the field of flowers. The dark shadow seemed to have receded for a moment but looking down, to pick up the crushed flowers at zir feet, Beelzebub saw blood. Staining zir white robes and the flowers and Earth at zir feet. 

Terror pulsed through zir and the gut-wrenching pain started up again and ze startled awake. 

And Gabriel had hold of zir hand, other arm around zir still, and was whispering something to zir. Something ze couldn’t understand. Ze felt like ze were in shock. With the amount of blood zir corporation lost that wasn’t surprising, either. 

The Prince couldn’t believe ze had fallen asleep in his arms. Italy had been different. It was out of need, not out of some minor near discorporation that a demon who could heal could handle. Either that or ze could have just suffered through it, like always. And yet, ze hadn’t. Ze let him touch zir and hold zir and heal zir. 

Beelzebub became angered for finding zirself asleep at a time like that, for the Archangel letting zir fall asleep, while Gabriel argued that ze needed to rest. He tried to tell zir that it was fine that way as it took him some time to heal everything. The demon quickly got up and went to jump from the ledge, not a care to listen to him but he was beside zir, taking hold of zir hand and holding zir in place. His voice a plea that had lost all sense of his commanding tone. His lavender eyes bore into zir, imploring zir, and ze watched as he eyed the ledge with fear. 

That confusing fear stopped zir. 

That was not expected and ze couldn’t help but wonder at what could have made him like this. Vaguely, ze recalled him shouting for zir when ze dropped from there the first time, during the battle. 

The angel insisted that it was in everyone’s best interest that they returned together after being seen departing that way. So, ze let him take zir back to the ground. Dagon was certainly ‘thrilled’ at the sight of their return. Growling and glaring at the “angelic dickhead, doing as he blessed-well pleased!” and separating the two, throwing a thick great coat over the Prince’s shoulders and escorting zir away. 

Hell collected the prisoner, the Prince no longer having the urge to even ‘consider’ his turning. The two ethereal beings did not get a moment more in private, spilling over ending notes and numbers at a second War Council declaring that if Hell needed to extend this endeavor for another battle for the missing souls, with Heaven’s aide, they would have to do so after investigating de Francesco further. 

The Prince left without turning back and Hoping that was the last time before Armageddon ze would ever look upon the Archangel, praying that he would never learn the Truth... 

************************************** 

Beelzebub could feel him watching as ze disappeared around a corner, Gabriel picked up the pace so as not to lose zir but was brought up short when he turned into an empty alley. He let out a frustrated sigh and went to return back the way he came, believing ze had escaped his eye, to turn around and find zir standing right in his path. He nearly walked into zir. 

“What are your intentionz following me, Archangel?” 

Gabriel was startled for only a second, but he recovered and shrugged, giving Beelzebub his best diplomatic smile. 

“I had no intention to follow you, Prince Beelzebub, but I happened to notice you were committing theft and...” He made a face, holding his hands out from him, as if saying there was nothing he could do but his job. “I had to thwart your misdeeds, of course.” 

“Z’not theft if my dear huzband is paying for my things, now izz it?” 

Zir little head waggled on zir shoulders, the only movement ze had made. Gabriel couldn’t help but find zir insolent attitude cute...and ze had called him zir “dear husband” again. This time without clenching zir teeth. He tried to purse his lips to hide his pleasure. He came closer, leaning a little at his waist and folding his hands in front of him at parade rest. 

“How long have you known I was there.” 

Ze shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Back past the butcher’s stall a few streets back. Nearly bought a whole thigh just to scandalize and upset you.” 

He kept his lips pursed and hid his chuckle and nodded his head. 

-Of course, she’d think to unnerve me with gross matter. 

“That long, huh?” 

“Not the best at spying. Best to leave that to the professionals, pigeon.” 

“Serves me right for trying to fool you.” 

Ze eyed him up and down, finally reaching out, and adjusted his nearly perfectly in place great coat and waistcoat chain. The Prince couldn’t help but to admire his garments as ze traced zir hands over the lines. The fabric was too nice for one who was meant to be modest. His coat was the usually favored dove grey, with a velvety-feeling striped material that had raised woven rows, smooth to the touch. There was beautiful floral embroidery that ze could flit zir little fingers over. Ze traced it around the edges and the trim that bordered it. It felt nice and certainly had more flourish than his previous garment he wore in battle. 

His cocked hat was more like the popular riding hats but with no trim, stylish, and his hair was braided neatly and ended in a pale lavender bow, down his back. His breeches were more of a darker grey than his usually color palate. Buttons down the length of the legs, from mid-thigh, most likely due to how muscular his legs were. The buttons themselves were darkest grey, to match the coat trim. It all went together rather nicely. 

“You wouldn’t be able to with how you stick out, as you do. All dressed to the nines with the look of a Grecian god.” Ze hadn’t meant to croon but ze did. The demon did manage to keep zir palatial features schooled, arching an eyebrow at him as ze began to slide zir fingers over the length of his silk kerchief, pulling on it a little too hard, making Gabriel bend a little more. But, for once, ze hadn’t intended to. The details of his clothing kept distracting zir eyes and hands, and ze couldn’t help roving back over his form to inspect. Zir actions made him grunt, trying to suppress the shiver that coursed through him. “Tell me; is it true that the mortals mistook you for Thor when you tried to bring messages of the Almighty to one of their banquets?” 

Gabriel looked almost sheepish and Beelzebub couldn’t help the half smirk at the silent admission. 

“Stop looking so pleased with yourself, Love. How can you get away with being so vain and Prideful?” 

Gabriel couldn’t help but shrug, smug smile returning in full, “Only so that I can get you to admonish me and keep me Faithful and mindful, dearest.” 

Zir eyes flicked up to his, sharp as ever, and zir frown returned in full. Ze dropped the fabric that slipped between zir fingers and turned to walk away, dismissing him. He was distracting enough as it was. With no army of fools to order around, and a dopishly smiling Adonis in zir midst Beelzebub knew it was going to be a problem if ze allowed him any proximity. 

“I’ve not time for your gamez-s, Messenger. I have thingz-things. to do. Sinners to catch.” Ze really wanted to smack zir head against the wall, ze shouldn’t have engaged contact. It was like actively seeking out the fire to touch. 

No longer being under prying eyes had zir acting foolishly, more lax with zir words and more tactile with the angel than ze had meant. Ze mentally growled at zirself and blamed the hormones that were being pumped through zir during and after zir far too recent failure. Beelzebub NEEDED to get away from him before it got worse, already calling him “dear” and “Love” and “husband” and touching. 

-Then, why did you play with me? 

He couldn’t help but smile at zir contradictory statement, unaware of the inner turmoil, and kept pace as ze started off back into the market. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

“Well, it just so happens that I, too, am tasked with recovering sinners.” 

-Oh, dear someone up in Heaven, no. 

“Well, you can go your own way. You don’t have to follow me.” 

“Why not? Chances are they’re the same sinners.” 

“I highly doubt that and really don’t care.” 

In truth, Gabriel was hoping not. He had been directed by the Metatron to seek out and destroy a certain being that he truly wished to smite out of existence. If the Archangel could prevent Beelzebub running into this particular fiend, all the better. That should have been the case with any Damned soul that was not meant for redemption, but he REALLY hoped he could find this one alone. 

“Careful, dear wife.” He said as he took hold of Beelzebub’s elbow and pulled zir back from the path of a careless rushing human, slipping his hand into zir own. The physical sensation of feeling the rich satin of zir gown’s sleeve beneath his fingers caused him to bring zir arm up to inspect. Though Beelzebub still wasn’t accustomed to his eccentric behavior, and still very much loathe to being touched AND just mentally admonished zirself for allowing things like this, ze felt...compelled to allow Gabriel this bizarre habit. 

The Demon Prince couldn’t help but follow his curious gaze this time. 

He straightened out the flounce of the sleeve and smoothed flat the pleated trim at the cuff above zir elbow he had ruffled, even straightening out the almost net like lace that spilled out from the sleeve. Zir arm was so thin, elbow wickedly sharp, and his hand could wrap around it so easily, but he brought both hands to cover zir very petite one between his and his fingers fiddled with the poesy ring for a few seconds. And like the gentlemen he always endeavored to be, being proper as he was an angel, Gabriel gestured for the Prince to ‘lead the way.’ 

Looking back over the elfin-looking being pulled his thoughts back to how ze were dressed, he couldn’t help admiring how brilliant Beelzebub looked in the newest garment. 

It was not one for keeping unnoticed but, to Gabriel in regards to his infernal adversary, what really was unnoticeable? The breeches HAD looked very nice, snug, a little domineering, in his opinion. But seeing zir cross his path in this dress, he quickly remembered that Beelzebub was domineering no matter what. Just in different ways. 

In this one he noticed ze seemed to hold zirself more erect, in several notable aspects. Ze certainly walked taller, zir back ramrod straight, and zir shoulders seemed unable to rotate forward, keeping them back. 

Zir neck was just as exposed as in a French collared bodice of the Renaissance but zir bust seemed to be more prominently featured, though more compressed within the new stays design that was popular during the time. The front of zir red gown, with black and gold floral patterns across it, was low and had a striking black bow fashioned almost to look like...a butterfly just where the bustline sat, barely obscuring the view to zir décolletage - though for one as tall as the angel, there was nothing that could really obstruct his view from above (not that he was looking!) - zir sigil landed perfectly on that ribbon, hanging from a chain. Sitting at zir delicate throat was a black velvet ribbon. 

The rest of the dress was littered with large flowers patterns, as customary. And the back had its own sort of cape. And zir head was adorned with a large bergere hat that had a black bow with two stones affixed to it, and two small black feathers sporting from behind the bow, itself. Beelzebub’s hair was simply done in a pinned up braid, beneath the hat. 

Honestly, he thought he liked this a little more than the gowns ze wore back in Italy. The style was fitting for the Prince, making zir walk with an air of illustriousness. And now, Gabriel was fully able to understand Prince Beelzebub had two different types of walks, after watching zir, and thought very highly of both. They were polar opposites but equally powerful. Equal parts Beelzebub. 

It was jarringly different from how ze walked the battlefield, how the Prince commanded the space there. No longer sauntering and cocky, as though ze held power to discorporate someone by simply looking on them. This was as though every step ordered all beings to look at zir, demanding. Make you want to get closer to see zir. Which Gabriel thought preposterous but fitting to the demon, all the same. 

It didn’t matter that zir form looked demure and delicate, at a glance, he understood that Beelzebub was impressive. 

They continued on through the streets, a slight frown on zir face and a small smirk on his lips as he continued to follow zir, offering his hands when met with uneven half-done roads, making zir scowl and roll zir eyes. With the slight heeled shoes ze had adopted it was a little difficult at some points, making Gabriel happy this century had made shorter shoes more fashionable for beings who presented male. 

It gave him the upper hand and made it all the clearer reason that it benefited zir to rely on him, to steady zir. Sometimes ze would pointedly ignore his gesture, hiking up zir skirts and exposing zir stockinged ankles, or, when the road was extremely dubious, snatch at his hand and hold tight, almost dragging him along. 

Eventually, ze stopped dropping his hand and held on as they travelled. Gabriel wouldn’t say a word on the subject nor allow his face to betray how he found it comically delightful. 

The whole occurrence would have made him chuckle until he discovered he had been led astray and left in a swirl of people. For a moment he panicked until he spotted Beelzebub’s form on the other side of the street at quite a distance. Ze threw a look over zir shoulder, zir eyes sparkling in the bright sunlight, then the Archangel watched zir go and allowed his pouted lips to unquirk and smile a little. 

-Shouldn’t have let go of her hand. You’ve got me, just this time, Bee, but I’ll not let you get the best of me, you little fiend. 

And he went his own way, for now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not in a good headspace right now so I wasn’t even sure if I could handle it. Things just aren’t good right now, everyone. I feel as though I need to bury myself in soothing music and fluff and things that will make everything not so bad right now. The worst part is what occurred the other day, after talking about my mom, blindsided me. I feel like I’ve been hit with a truck and can’t even believe that it happened. I’m sorry if I’m just a little lost for a bit. I am grateful it wasn’t my mom, just to let everyone know that she is SAFE now (her health has always been precarious so even coughing makes me so nervous these days) but it wasn’t my mom I should have been so worried for and I’m now a wreck to be honest. This damned virus wasn’t the cause for this person who was so very precious to me went but because of it I couldn’t see them. Because of it I couldn’t be there in their last moments. I can’t even go back to my home state because of this. If you are able PLEASE stay inside. Self-isolate. Stay safe. 
> 
> I honestly don’t know what else to do right now. So I write. 
> 
> Writing for me, even though I made something absolutely terrible with it, has been my only escape after a bout of really bad things happening all at once this year. It spiraled because of the pandemic and I have nothing better to really focus on. I don’t have anyone to beta read it and I’d rather just proof read and let it fly. Maybe one day I’ll write some soft fluff for these two. 
> 
> I have to spill a secret after someone’s comment last week. I LOVE when people associate music with sections of my stories. I actually have a playlist that I’ve been putting together that goes with the story. At first I had “Hold Me Down” by Halsey for the later chapters, after Gabriel and Beelzebub meet at the airfield, and then there was of course “As the World Falls Down” from Labyrinth for some of the last story arc, I also had “Lost in Paradise” from Evanescense for another bit in the 1700s, and even “No One But You” by Erutan for some of the Regency era sections. I just had to say I LOVED what Ebony_Dove shared with me, “Take Me To War” by the Crane Wives felt just so right and I got it and added it to my playlist. Thank you! 
> 
> I am all about that and it really brought a bit of light when I’ve desperately needed it over the last few days. 
> 
> If anyone has other’s they’ve thought of, I’d love to hear them. Also, comments about sections that really stood out to you, concrit is ALWAYS WELCOME, or just something you found funny about a particular spot is great. (kudos are like cookies and lets me know that I’m not writing utter garbage and is appreciated too.) 
> 
> All I can say in closing of this chapter is to hold your dear ones close and take care of yourself. Phone calls or video chats to family, whether blood or made, are wonderful things to take advantage of in these times. Be SAFE! <3 
> 
> I’m going to go wind myself down now with some midnight tea because after what happened I really don’t think I am a functioning adult anymore. 
> 
> If I missed anything please let me know. Comments of all types, con-crit included, are great and super appreciated, I like to hear what you think or suspect.


	10. Haunting Sins & Betrayals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub is on zir own as ze try to track down high profile escapees...it's worse than ze could have imagined...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Graphic display of death. Infant death. Resurfaced memory. Oh god this chapter is awful for Beelzebub! This is not an easy chapter and will probably make everyone hate me and cry. 
> 
> I had this all poured out then I panicked then I sat on it for a bit. It has been tough to write out this section but as soon as I got into the groove it spilled out. I tried to ensure it was right and flowed well and tried to be sensitive. I admit to sliding between feeling numb and then over emotional so I had to bother a friend I trust with the secret that I write awful things to gauge this. Fae don’t know Good Omens well but knew how my story was progressing and the state I’m currently in, mentally, so faer able to ensure it was in the right vein. 
> 
> There is very little dialogue in this one. Almost none. But I think it reads okay considering the tasks involved.
> 
> I hope it turned out alright.
> 
> The NEXT chapter should have a comfort.

Ze had caught hint of a strange noxious and occult in nature aura. One that sent alarm bells off in the Prince’s head and every hair on end. For the last few days, after encountering the angel, ze had really focused and had caught whiff of something. 

The lack of hard evidence that this aura was related was frustrating but predicted, with having little to draw on. These targets were not the typical Damned, after all. Blood-thirsty and cunning and very much willing to do what it takes to stay out of Hell’s grasp. 

Each name given was of a soul that had been rotten and malevolent in life, capable in ways only people like that could be. Ones who were wicked and corrupt and took advantage. Humans who had no business seeing the light of an actual day once more. Murderers and rapists, those who laughed at the thought of Damnation while committing such Sins and actively ruined the world around them or feigned battling their evilness, questioning why, as they committed their misdeeds. Murderers like Dhu Shanatir and Gilles de Rais and Peter Niers, all of whom Beelzebub would take a great delight in picking apart, personally. They were certainly a disgusting bunch that were crafty enough. 

Brontis had disclosed very little else, still holding out Hope that he could be turned if his information was confirmed as valuable. Promising more for bartering power. Ze were mildly impressed that he had the gumption to hold out like that while tortured, even if it made work annoyingly difficult. But ze chalked it up to him being a bit of a masochist and already suffering in Hell. 

So ze could only do so much, and pick at what findings ze could, no matter how slight. 

The problem was that things were relatively untampered with Topside. Not much in prospects, not even an interesting gathering of pagans – who USUALLY had NOTHING to do with evil or Lucifer, or any other demonic being – so, it was rather quiet. It made for a lot of leg work and too much time to think as ze hunted… 

But this sudden otherworldly plume the demon detected was disruptive and drastic. It was caustic, huge, and could be felt just at the edge of a settlement that the humans called Milford. This was the only promise. 

A promise that would have taken about a day to travel by on foot, had ze not influenced zir way onto a family’s carriage for passage to the settlement. It was a small well-to-do family, on their way for a visit. The husband had given Beelzebub eyes that spoke of Sin and ze refrained from cringing or giving a frustrated scowl. As long as he didn’t bother zir, the Prince didn’t care. The demon played to the heart of the wife, behaving demure and meek to win her favor. 

It did the trick, and ze earned passage. Ze gave the woman a small token that would make others who spied her wearing such a trinket jealous. Even the woman’s husband seemed to suddenly find her more appealing that she could earn such a ‘gift,’ but it was of very little consequence to the Prince to part with. It served a purpose. 

Beelzebub had learned the woman had been Blessed with child; a soft looking being who may not live to see that baby. That irked zir, so ze decided it would be against Her wishes if Beelzebub carefully demonically ‘Blessed’ the piece given to the woman to keep her safe all throughout and after the birth. Keeping her from the Almighty’s arms long enough to watch her child prosper or turn into a being worthy of Damnation. 

The woman was quiet company, a little pious and kind, so the demon was certain it was worth keeping her just a little longer from Heaven. 

That bothersome journey allowed zir to remain carefully undetected and saved hours in travel. Not using any of zir demonic energy, and already hampering zir aura, Beelzebub would remain unnoticed. 

The need to tread carefully was immediate and Beelzebub had plotted zir pace in the direction from which this dark aura emanated, a few streets away from where ze entered the town. 

As soon as the demon was at the settlement gates ze slunk into the shadows. Behind the first houses and walls, and ze replaced zir gown with the black breeches, shirt and kerchief, zir black boots and great coat. Zir hat had been changed out for the one ze wore into battle but not the red sash. The Prince could do without the extras so as not to stick out. Even zir hair had been altered from the usual wavy curls to straight and flat, allowing it to fall into zir face. Obscuring zir features. A long plaited braid trailed down zir back, making zir look more or less like any other traveling bloke. 

In all honesty, in regards to one particular change, zir feet were thanking zir for the change of footwear, but ze didn’t dwell on that thought. Even though all shoes were stretched to fit by cobblers, zir feet were small in general and grateful for no heels. 

It all had to be done by hand, but luckily the previously enchanted bag tucked into zir dress’s pocket had carried the clothes, footwear, and hat; it was easy to store the dress and other garments with ease. The only thing that ze couldn’t change out of was the corsetry, but zir loose shirt hid it well without defining zir features. 

Making zir way past house after house ze tried to get an idea of how the aura felt without setting off the owner’s senses. For one such as Beelzebub, that was easy enough, but ze weren’t careless. Ze had been extremely interested in learning how to manage and feel for auras since very early on, how they worked, and how ethereals and humans felt them. Ze saw it as an advantage, especially in the tunnels of Hell, and at one stupid point assumed it could potentially help zir more than simply evade... 

But that was so long ago and ze recognized that it could be used as a weapon to seek and destroy. The only safety it gave was in remaining elusive for as long as ze could manage it, only Topside. 

Auras could be of people, objects, places, and portals, rituals also created an aura, and they all had a specific feel. 

This one felt like a ritual. And unlike the rest of the inanimate reasons, rituals almost had too wide a range of intent. 

Ze could just barely make out from where ze were that it wasn’t a summoning, those had a specific pull and drag to it, almost irresistible to ignore if done properly, even if it made you irate and wish to continue on with your business. And regular craftwork of witches and those who were practitioners of devilish arts had each their own feel, depending on intent and degrees of power, or of nefarious desires. Those types were usually barely noteworthy, unless actually geared towards a Fallen. This was not like those. This was indeed malevolent and harmful, but it was strange. 

Regardless, it gave Beelzebub a sense of direction. The evil energy of the fugitives ze tried to track, while still Below, had sent zir to this general region; with the rise of occult energy it was something. Considering that Hell dragged very little else out of Brontis, of his fellow compatriots plans, ze didn’t know much else about their abilities so it was best to be cautious going in. 

Beelzebub was going to assume the culprits were trying to draw power, making Beelzebub feel suspect about such a large-scale ritualistic aura. It did not bode well. The scent of humans was strong, but the demon dismissed it as ze were Topside in a human village, the only scent ze tried to hone in on was the scent of the Damned or another demon. But ze weren’t getting a strong scent, at all. 

Beelzebub made zir way through back alleys and over small ditches, it didn’t take very long but still no sign of any of zir escapees. The aura only got thicker as ze got closer to one house that didn’t seem at all special. 

It didn’t look much different than others, tan wood that was discoloring from lack of good protection from the elements. It had the usual trappings and shutters, same as all the surrounding houses near it. A garden with a wide variety of plants sat behind the stone wall that surrounded the house. It wasn’t wild but had many things of note. Things like henbane, goldenseal, and angel’s trumpet. A fleeting thought passed of a certain angel, with silver hair and eyes the color of lavender, who smelled of flowers and would be the Messenger to sound the War cry for Armageddon with his horn, at the recognition of the distinct plant, but ze dismissed it quickly. 

The petite adversary had other things to ponder, he was most likely miles in another direction, tracking another; far removed from Beelzebub’s reach. And that scent of evil that surrounded the house was enough to keep the dogs barking mad at it, jarring the demon from zir conflicting thoughts. 

Beelzebub observed the surrounding area from the shadows of another house a little ways down the street. Ze wouldn’t give them the benefit of spotting zir if still present. Ze sent out a few tiny blackfly that tended to hover the canal nearby, they would be barely detected as more than a nuisance. However, the Prince was almost immediately informed of the presence of a swarm of blowflies. 

The house was inhabited by the dead... 

The flies detected no other living beings on the premises, which was odd considering how humans cohabitated. Ze were further told that there was not another presence of the demonic or Damned persuasion, nor any form of occult alarm within, and sent fliers to scout the surrounding area. Beelzebub would not move until ze knew for certain it was clear. If there was a possibility of catching a target ze would pursue in their direction first. No point in investigating the Dead if there was a chance. They weren’t going anywhere. 

But nothing came up. Ze were alone in the streets, with humans milling about, and a house filled with bodies to investigate; remnants of a ritual to read. 

The Demon Prince walked across and ducked behind a house nearby, planning to go slink in through the back, undetected. If ze were completely certain of zir solitude ze would have gone under through the dirt, but ze were suspicious. It was also more effort than skulking through the back. The only other thing Beelzebub wished to be careful of was the humans spying zir. Ze didn’t know how they would take to seeing a stranger entering a neighbor’s home when they would all be found Dead inside. 

It was quick that ze found a window and Beelzebub jumped up and clung to the wall of the outside, slipped zir boot’s grip against the wooden boards, and pushed the window open. This house was in good condition and actually had blown glass, surmising the household was well off. 

Ze snuck in. 

The air was filled with sulfur and rot and of rosemary and Beelzebub’s stomach instantly rolled, and zir nerves suddenly knit up. Ze tried to convince the rosemary was common and the rot was from the corpses...But it mixed with the evil that ze had followed to the little hovel that was the house, keeping zir on edge. 

Silently, ze traveled from what turned out to be a diverse pantry, filled with nettles and tinctures and flowers, through a room with cupboards and washing basins. The wall held a shelf with bottles of various colors and a bag that was more of a case. Ze eyed everything as ze passed, every corner and shadow, ignoring the smell of blood and Death, trying to focus on demons and Damned, to no avail, and into the next room ze went. 

And oh, how Beelzebub wished ze never rounded that corner. 

Ze had had zir suspicions of who lived in the house. The tools of the trade ze spied, the scents of disinfectants, the herbal garden that had plants to tend to a child-bearers health, or ease pain and sickness. The house belonged to a midwife. 

And in that room Beelzebub had ventured into ze saw a sight ze wished remained unknown to zir. 

One at the hearth, early in years and most likely training, burned with water meant to sterilize the tools. One behind the bloody birthing chair, strangled and tied to stay by their station. The attending midwife…what had been done to them was a far more diabolical version of the already cruel way midwives sometimes had to assist a breeched birth into proper position. The device was crudely jammed through fabric and bloodied and did not look as though it could be removed easily. 

But then there was the one who was meant to give life, clearly ripe for their time and ready to give birth to a new soul…laid out on a table meant for cesarean birthing… 

Ze could already see that the being before zir was cut open. Wide. Roughly. Like their stomach had been sliced wide for zir to look inside… 

Beelzebub didn’t want to see…but knew ze must…it had all been done for a purpose... 

Knowing somewhere deep in zir guts that this macabre scene was not simple ritual, noting the aura that emanated from them, Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, moved closer. Ze allowed not a muscle within zir jaw to move, nor zir eyelids to close, as ze stepped closer and closer. 

Ze didn’t want to know what lay in the vortex of the threatening aura but knew there was no choice. 

Ze closed zir eyes just once in order to open them to the ethereal plain and peered into the cavernous womb of the mortal on the table...and ze regretted it. 

In that moment Beelzebub faltered. Ze wished. Ze prayed. Ze BEGGED for reprieve ze knew would never come. The very Damned being that had Fallen for ideas ze didn’t even remember wished ze had never committed such a Sin, not zir nor another. The sight before zir wasn’t worth it. 

It made zir feel all wrong, as though ze weren’t, indeed, a Prince of Hell and the rot of Heaven, and ze questioned how another could commit such horror. This small being had been an innocent none were meant to touch. Salvation or Sin was earned and learned by humankind and the only thing that stopped that Truth being taught to them was an early Death. The soul would have automatically been forfeit to Heaven’s choirs, for being so pure. This was not meant to happen. 

Beelzebub looked over the tiny form, pale and purple and blue veins prominently featured, laid out bare in their makeshift cradle. Their mother’s guts were ripped out and made way for a bloody bassinet within. 

They were covered in blood on their tummy from clawed markings. Such particular and specific strokes. And the demon felt sickness well up in zir stomach and struggled to keep from gagging. This was NOT something that should have troubled zir. They were all human and it was zir very job to torture and break their souls, but it was too much. Too devastating. Too cruel. Too soon for zir. Ze couldn’t handle it and there was no where else to turn. 

Ze felt the tears burn before ze recognized zir body reacting in such a way, and suddenly it was as though zir entire body disobeyed. The previously blank-faced fly demon’s lungs began to work in double time. Bile coated zir mouth, zir diaphragm contracted, zir watery eyes overflowed from the physical and emotional distress that assaulted zir, and ze staggered back a step. Ze couldn’t afford falling apart there and bit zir mouth hard to focus the pain. 

Ze were quick to wipe away the tears from zir eyes. Ze would not cry over the loss. It wasn’t zir loss. 

It’s not as though ze would have had... 

It’s not as though ze had ever wanted... 

It wasn’t zirs to mourn! 

Demon’s didn’t fucking mourn! 

Beelzebub bit the palms of zir hands with piercing talons, deep in the chubby flesh. It hurt and was stupid to do but ze needed to focus. There was no choice but for zir to inspect, and what ze found on the child was atrocious. 

A sigil. 

-No. No. This can’t be... 

Clearly etched into the gut of the freshly born child. The child that had to have been forcibly removed from their mother prior to both of their Death’s. From the looks of it, which Beelzebub most certainly did not wish to look into, they were strangled. It was assumed the mother had to watch their child be given that spark of life and then snuffed out. 

A child who...no longer had a soul to reap. 

And Beelzebub realized very suddenly that there were bodies but not a soul to be found. No souls. They were all just empty husks of humans. Not a trace of Death had been met at this house, it only smelled of carcass. 

-Fuck...That answers a few questions. 

This was bad. This was worse than bad. These escapees weren’t only devouring souls and performing rituals, they were taking the purest souls the world had to offer. 

It was forbidden and far worse than a simple soul snatching. The purer the soul the more powerful it made you. Pair that with an obscene ritual like the one Beelzebub was spying now and it was so much worse. Emotional pain made the casting far more potent. 

Three type of rituals were the hardest to perform; magic that dealt in birth, Death, and sex. Why sex, the Prince had no clue, but it was one of the rule of three. Though Beelzebub wasn’t certain, as ze were not party to the event that led to this scene, ze were certain this involved birth. It felt obvious enough. 

This was not the job of amateurs and the demon knew that there had been a kernel of truth to what Brontis had said. If this was indeed the witch, then she was learned and powerful. What her plans were remained unknown but Beelzebub felt something sink into the pit of zir stomach. 

Ze had to inspect the corpse closely. Both mother and child. Whatever bullshit meaning they carried, the demon had to be thorough and investigate all of it. Carefully, ze went to pick up the naked child and, for a moment, did nothing. Frozen, ze swallowed and felt so terribly hollow. The baby had been so small. 

They weren’t covered in viscera, as they should have been, just where the body touched the insides of their fleshy cradle and the wounds. The rest of the child was clean, as though to ensure the important parts were prominent on the Deathly pale canvas. Beelzebub reached out and touched the child...and something within zir contracted. Like the force of a blow to zir abdomen but it came with an ear-piercing call of a voice. Just as strong as the one Lucifer hit zir with, and ze doubled over and the lights of the day were bright. 

Ze were running. Laughing. Ze didn’t feel any pain in zir corporation anymore. Everything felt...light...and someone was making chase. But ze couldn’t see who and ze felt no fear of them. Not a single ounce. Not a care in the world as ze could feel a breeze whip through zir hair, playfully. Just exhilaration to the point that it actually alarmed the demon. Something else was in zir that ze could hardly recognize. 

The impression left that abandoned ache of longing for that ruinous individual... 

And somewhere in the depths of zir still aware corporation’s heart ze felt that old betrayal and hurt throb. From a different part of zir former self that knew and kept locked away. But ze knew it was because of the being behind zir, catching up, that ze dared not look upon as ze ran with such laughter bursting from zir mouth. 

It felt weird. It sounded weird. 

It all hurt all over again. 

Not just the feelings, the realization of having a pain-free body, or the weightlessness as though zir wings were itching to break out and take flight and make zir leave the ground below. Not just that. But the feel that this was not meant to be seen by zir. Like it was all barred away. Cast out FROM zir not only by the Almighty’s command, but by demon’s own hands. As though ze hollowed it out of zirself. 

And still, ze didn’t want it! Couldn’t bear it! 

Beelzebub felt zir mental state recoil, trying to fight it off, ze dared not to look back. If ze did ze knew it would make it all worse. Ze couldn’t face them. They had hurt zir, though ze couldn’t remember how or why. It felt visceral and consuming and as though it made everything else feel dark and pointless. Lonely... 

Ze couldn’t properly hear the other’s laughter, more like a distant echo, distorted from zir ear. If Beelzebub could ze would have clamped zir hands over zir ears and cried out to stop from hearing them, but nothing would work. Ze were stuck. 

Stuck running from them, feeling as ze did. Stuck feeling that forgotten joy coursing through zir. Stuck feeling the touch of Her Grace flowing through zir as easy as breathing. Stuck feeling this overwhelming urge to turn around and embrace the being ze were foolishly feeling such wonderful and Hopeful things for. Stuck missing them. But it appeared the magic forcing the memory on zir was getting stronger so the demon could not fight it. Ze had the ability to see now. And that terrified zir! 

One wrong move and ze would see them... 

And just as ze were about to call out to them, a thoughtless laugh bubbling as ze started to turn to look on them – petrifying the Prince at the prospect of looking upon the one ze thought ze couldn’t remember and had torn from zir heart – ze crashed into someone. It stopped everything else and the now demon turned away from what felt like a near pitfall into zir ruin. The being ze turned on instead sent a nervous twitch through zir memory’s body and terror through zir current corporation. 

“Forgive me, Morningztar...” Unease bloomed in the memory and Beelzebub was looking up into the golden eyes of the Almighty’s favored Archangel. It burned to look upon Him even then. 

-Did I?...Did I just buzz in my head or in my memory?... 

He was as beautiful as ever, golden brown hair shining in the sunlight, almost giving Him a crown of flames. He looked down at the Prince of Hell with a smile so soft ze almost thought ze were hallucinating, it didn’t fit. 

The fact that Beelzebub recognized zir former self was nervous and weary of zir future leader confused zir. It didn’t feel anything akin to how ze assumed Lovers would be. 

Love...felt...elsewhere... 

There was nothing of that nature felt for Him in that moment. Respect conjured by a place of authority, yes. But not Love. Not even a Love of all things great and small of Her creation. Just the feeling of trying to pick apart something ze were trying to figure out. Curiosity. Discomfort. 

“I’ve not seen you frolic, before. I thought you were all work and no play.” He cocked his head and smiled down at zir. Then He frowned at something behind Beelzebub, quickly replacing it with a different smile. One that unnerved the memory of the being that had been Beelzebub. 

Another voice, unheard even in tone, came to join them. Their warm welcoming body near crashed into zir from behind, making Beelzebub’s still aware self flinch from the contact, but not zir past self, ze welcomed it. The ghost of warm hands wrapped around zir, enveloping zir. Ze felt comfort in them. Safety. Mentally reviling that feeling ze drew from it in the moment because somewhere deep inside zir broke from it. Ze didn’t know why. Ze didn’t WANT to know why. Ze had abandoned that and it wasn’t supposed to matter. 

Ze were supposed to have abandoned that pain…But all ze could do was feel that it had buried itself deep in zir, hiding. 

The desire to leave the Morningstar’s presence was prominent in zir past self. That was first and foremost. Ze wanted to have the forgotten one’s arms wrap around zir and take zir away, hold zir close... 

Suddenly, the world around Beelzebub fell back into reality and the memory was completely lost to zir. Crashing down was rough and ze felt zir stomach lurch and every pain ze normally felt crunch through zir bones, zir phantom wings burned and zir sockets twisted over the muscle memory as though trying to reconnect... 

The Prince of Hell wanted to leave. 

Immediately. 

But that was not an option and ze took in the ghastly scene once more, before looking to the baby at zir fingertips. The little one was still warm. 

Ze snatched the baby up and tried to see if the tiny human still had breath. The demon felt nothing and pushed the body of the lifeless lifebearer off the table and laid the tiny being out. Ze tried to clear the baby’s airways and it was then that Beelzebub noticed the crushed larynx. Rushing lithe fingers tried to work, morphing nail into sharp talons. The Prince extended the baby’s little neck and palpitated the membrane around the cricothyroid membrane and prepped to make a quick incision. Ze miracled up a sturdy hollow reed and began, opening the tiny being up with the most percise of cuts. 

Every second counted. 

Ze picked up the cricoid artery and tried to stabilize the trachea before the Prince stuck the tube in. Ze knew how this worked, even if ze had never studied the humans as intently as ze had. It felt ingrained. Programmed. Ze knew how it had to be applied for babies. 

Ze weren’t panicking as ze secretly Hoped the child could somehow make it. Beelzebub wasn’t choking back on something that a demon should never feel, for mortal or for zir past. No. Ze weren’t doing any of that. 

But it didn’t matter. 

Beelzebub, Lord of the flies breathed deep with devastation at the very instance ze knew it was for naught. At the realization that a small fragment of Hope had resonated in zir and called out to zir, fooling zir into thinking there had been a chance, was false. At the tiny Death that lay on the table under zir fragile looking hands. At realizing that the pain from Before still held sway. That the pain of something forced on zir had been still harsh and still inflicted pain on losing it. 

But ze couldn’t afford to feel it or let it loose. 

So instead Beelzebub imprinted the scene in zir mind, cleaned up the baby’s soft belly and memorized the markings there, and swaddled the child in what had been their mother’s shawl. And then ze righted the child’s mother, just enough, so that ze could put the baby into their arms. Whoever had done this was gone. The souls were gone, the baby’s soul had already been devoured and ze foolishly had Hoped…to save it…but ze forgot that the baby had already been lost. 

And all ze had were the memories of that diabolical scene and the half dug up memories to haunt zir. 

The Prince felt the depredation of the event sink into zir against zir will. Ze resolutely ignored the shakes and stormed out to figure out zir next move despite all this bullshit. Ze were a furious wretch! 

Beelzebub felt raw and tried to discard everything that had made it so, desperate to detach. Sneaking out onto the street, ze took in one shuddery breath, showing the only signs of upset from within and ze felt the wind ruffle zir dark hair on making the street. 

An eruption of another dark aura flared up, out in the distance, and a scowl formed on zir lips. 

It was going to be a long and awful hunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, and kudos are all welcome. If I missed ANY trigger warnings please let me know. I know my story isn’t exactly the best and kind of long and…angsts/awful to Beelzebub/strange so I understand it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I enjoy hearing what you think. Con-crit is always appreciated and helps me. Comments about things you like and observations make my day. And I will always try to get back to you when you do comment, as it’s important to me. 
> 
> Thank you! 
> 
> And I hope you all stay safe! <3


	11. Rituals For The Rebirth Of Pain...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub and Gabriel are investigating the ritualistic auras, each alone, and what they discover is not easy to handle. Pain and denial are easy to inflict on someone when armed with their own memories...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Another ritual that is more graphic in some ways than the last and another child death, gore?ptsd/war related, dubious consent (with reasons), sex that I’m not certain is graphic but heads up? Mental attacks using memories. Alcohol use.
> 
> Holy fucking hells bells I just discovered I LIED to everyone and MYSELF! I just reread the last chapter of When the World Falls Down to ensure continuity and realized, I fucking lied in my notes and I’m so angry and besides myself. I wrote in my notes: “I think this is the end of the Renaissance and NEXT should be 1700s based (because I love fashion and carnage apparently but promise NOTHING AS GRAPHIC to happen to Beelz again)” 
> 
> I LIED. ::insert crying Lisa Simspon meme here:: And I’m so sorry! WOW. 
> 
> That being said...I’m sorry. This chapter is a bit wild. We switch perspectives from Bee to Gabe. Hint of comfort in the end and then the next chapter will be MORE comfort. You’ll understand what I mean by dubious consent in Bee’s section. 
> 
> If I miss any TW PLEASE LET ME KNOW!
> 
> For ginerva_snape, please feel better, hun!

Ze felt dread. That’s all the Prince felt. Dread in the depths of zir useless heart. 

Ze knew ze would be too late in getting to the newest location, though it didn’t stop zir from struggling with that fact, nor from trying. It was zir job to stop them and collect the bastards even if it was during their atrocious deeds. Beelzebub sent out zir swarms of flies to try and pinpoint, keep sentry watch for zir targets, and notify zir. Ze would have them all canvas the area and if spotted ze would follow. But until then ze were stuck heading towards the scene ze knew ze dread to look upon. 

Ze had found the house, not that different from the last, down to the garden of herbs and tools within. Another midwife and another gruesome tableau of caregivers. This group must have put up more of a fight, judging by the defense bruises. There were some contusions to the head of the elder assistant and a gash in their abdomen. The weapon that made it was missing. The midwife had a slit throat and soft tissue under fingernails. Couldn’t make much of the two younger ones... 

Beelzebub was trying to be rational and approach the scene with the same indifference ze always could in Hell. The same indifference ze could any time ze were at His Mercy, underneath Him. But the fury ze felt within zir breast was being used as fuel to ignite zir thoughts on what ze planned to enact on the Sinners, once ze got ahold of them. 

The mother…the mother had fought, judging by their hands, and failed. They had been tied to the table with a broken arm. And the baby… 

It made it both easier and harder for what Beelzebub had need to do. It had been more difficult, emotionally, to remove the child and inspect them for markings that turned out to be different. But ze couldn’t make the same mistake as before. On seeing the new one’s state ze wanted to turn tail and run. Damned demon or not. 

Touching the small child was what, once again, threw Beelzebub into a nightmare of memories with the song of the Damned. 

Ze felt hands on zir thighs. Bare thighs that only led up to the rest of zir bare body. 

Beelzebub panicked. Everything in zir locked up. Ze felt like ze were choking and suffocating and couldn’t do anything but scream and scream in zir head. It was too much for zir to endure so suddenly, even after trying to prepare. 

Zir heart was racing as ze felt more than saw that there was someone WITHIN zir, between zir legs. The other being moving slowly, from behind, and pulled a soft moan from zir former self’s parted lips. A definite buzz vibrating from zir throat. And almost in response Ze felt soft kisses laid out on zir exposed neck. Gentle. 

Zir former being made of memories was not afraid of this act. Ze were wanting. Starving for this touch. Ze could feel the crave for this being as they moved in zir. They touched just inches away from where they were joined, and the demon felt as ze took that waiting hand to slide over their length and zir nub to glide up and grab zir breast and they thrust deep, almost to the hilt of their member. Ze moaned in abandon and felt the hot breath of the one pumping in and out of zir. 

Their Effort was so big ze felt like ze could split. However, Beelzebub felt every need of zir past self, a greediness, to feel every inch of them within zir. The half pain that brought pleasure, the reassurance and trust in them, the other being pressed so fully against zir back and within zir. That comforting warmth. The friction. Ze felt as zir body clenched to hold them for a minute and felt the hum of a growl ze were unable to hear well enough to identify, but felt it resonate from their chest and the lips huffing pressed against zir ear. A hand went behind zir to slip through silky smooth hair and another wanton sigh slipped from out zir mouth as they whispered something to zir. 

Ze felt the words rumble against zir back, from their chest. Something that made Beelzebub’s past self’s stomach flutter and Effort clench at the thought of it. But ze heard not a syllable. Ze just knew ze had REALLY liked what was said, and it must have been a question because zir head bounced quickly in response and ze pulled eagerly at them. The next thing ze knew was their hand slid over zir waist and took hold of zir sharp little hip and HELD zir as they thrust so fully into zir spread cunt. 

Ze felt zirself cry out and Beelzebub shuddered, for disjointed feelings and the being who held zir, all but purring in zir ear. A deep rumbly purr of words ze still could not hear to process. 

The terrifying thing wasn’t just finding zirself like so but the fact that ze felt that wanting from Before. The EMOTIONS. Remembering the Love ze had felt overflowing from zir, from them for the being ze used to be. Beelzebub had the ability to FEEL Love taken away, so this and the last memory flowing with that essence for zir to read was difficult to handle. The taste of how badly ze had wanted that forgotten Lover. How the ghost of the feel of their body and Love made zir want them all over again. And how the touch was less terrifying than the Love ze felt for that one being. It felt familiar in ways ze couldn’t even begin to explain. 

The act petrified. The memory startled. The feelings crushed. The ability to feel it all with no way to turn it off left zir panicking. 

It was all excruciatingly debilitating. 

And even so, ze felt the building of something deep within zir core against zir current will, felt as ze clutched at the being behind, feeling zir fingers grasp at the nape of their neck, digging into their hair and pulling, making them moan even though ze could not hear it. Feeling a hand on zir elbow clutch at zir while their other rubbed at the swollen bud between zir legs, ze threw zir head back against their chest and looked up at the stars in the night sky and felt… 

Nothing. 

Desolation. 

Violation. 

Anguish. 

Remorse. 

Loss. 

The Dead beneath zir fingers in the cavernous belly of another Dead as ze crashed into reality. 

Crushed. 

Beelzebub had barely been able to steel zirself to keep the bile from rising up and vomiting. But ze failed in the end and had to rush away into a corner of the room. Zir sick hit the floor even though there was very little to throw up. 

All that ze had been left with was a house of soulless husks, finding ze could count zirself among them as being a hollowed out. 

It took a great deal of willpower to go back and finish zir investigation. Ze were on edge and took note of every detail ze could manage to assimilate. Disgusted by the new sigil marking that had been carefully etched into the belly of the child sacrifice. Part of zir wanted absolutely no part of knowing any of it, but the rational half knew it would be used against zir for discovering it in the first place and not handling it; whether by Satan and the Dark Council, or the culprits, by allowing them a one up on zir, Beelzebub didn’t know. However, it was something ze had needed to do or ze would never be able to find out what the Heavens was going on. 

The last thing ze were able to accomplish was to cover the child and rest them on their mother. 

As soon as ze could, ze escaped the house and headed for the ends of the town. The Prince sent out new orders for zir anthropomorphic familiars and tried to focus before zir breathing got out of control. 

Beelzebub struggled as ze went, truly shaken by everything ze had seen and experienced. It was too much. Two children in nearly as many days, it was almost nightfall and ze didn’t want to be in zir own head anymore. Ze couldn’t stop the turmoil as ze waited for the next plume of demonic aura but with every passing second nothing came. It didn’t make it any better. 

In zir aimless wandering ze discovered a different scene. An adulterous woman sending her husband off on a journey and quickly taking in her secret Lover. The gown she had been wearing had been something right up zir alley, regal and elegant. A beautiful dark purple demask fabric, the bodice was cut low and had a ruffled gather around its edge. The sleeves tight with typical ruffled cuffs and the stomacher having rows of buttons down the front. And it had been stripped off within minutes. 

It was easy enough to claim and ze needed a new outfit to disguise zirelf from potential threats. Ze reasoned the theft to be a lesson to the woman for being so careless in zir actions. The loss of something so expensive and beautiful would have her on edge. 

Ze willed it smaller and the skirts of charcoal grey shorter to fit zir petite frame and quickly exchanged the garment ze wore with it, happy enough ze didn’t have to do a thing about the stays ze already wore – though having the worst time trying to breathe at all – and tried to focus on the action of dressing in the shadows. 

The Prince took out rouge and applied it to zir lips and some coal to zir eyes to ensure that ze were less recognizable. Usually ze wouldn’t care but the act was different, detaching for zir in the moment, something meticulous to focus on, and ze were able to let the previous macabre scene become compartmentalized for later. 

As soon as ze stepped from the shadows all else was forgotten and ze could feel zir gait change with the swaths of skirts and petticoats and headed for the one place ze could forget everything for a few hours. 

**************************** 

While the Prince had been trying to cope with all of this there was a particular Messenger of angels who wasn’t that far behind. With the stench of a dangerous evil aura that large it made sense Gabriel would follow. The little singer in his head was starting to sound a little quieter, starting and slowing to a near halt, as if uneasy. The angel took note and tread carefully on his way. 

He was just as disturbed by the sights he found in first house as Beelzebub. He couldn’t just leave the humans like that, so he attempted to lay their souls to rest and alarm bells flared at the realization of the lack of that otherworldly essence. The angel tried to see if there was any earlier reaping but couldn’t find any. The next thing he had done was set up communication with Heaven, speaking with Michael and learning that no one from his exact location had been received. He relayed the situation and was ordered to follow to the second location that had been picked up by Sandalphon, from the observation decks. It was a little further out and had been present on Heaven’s radars for hours, so his priority was investigating the next scene asap. 

However, on noticing the small child and mother, he signed off and felt the need to at least tend to them. It was a disturbing scene and it felt wrong to leave them like so. His little Love’s voice got a little higher the closer he got. More uneasy. But what occurred as soon as he touched the little one was not as expected, and he was tossed into a new memory with a piercing clash of two shrieking voices. 

He was in Heaven…back on the battlefield. The smoke was back in his lungs and the smell of burning flesh in his nostrils. Gabriel stomach clenched from the assault to his senses. 

He was striking down one of the still turning Fallen, watching them try to raise their weapon against him in a final strike. But a second later Gabriel had to jump back as the ground below swallowed the Fallen up. Another strike and another down and he called out to the angels of Heaven that remained to “Show no Mercy and have Faith! They’ll not stop til they’ve reached the Almighty! Let Lucifer and his followers realize their trespasses!” 

And he plowed on. Of course, being one of Heaven’s finest warriors he would make quick work of all around him. Some weren’t even fighters, judging by the tools they wielded in their fight. And yet still, to protect their Lord and his people, what was left of his people, he showed no quarter or kindness. 

He looked up towards the ridge and saw the blaze of the very first sparks of Hellfire that his brother called upon with His own hand and watched as He and Michael acknowledged the other in a way that would never again lead to dance. Lucifer had been the only one who could get His sister to dance...Gabriel struck out in his Wrath and pain and heartache. 

Until he saw a figure that seemed to somehow slip between the realms of the carnage. 

One who was obscured by smoke, but he could see their shadow move and cut down those around them as they breeched the grey curtain that marred Heaven before it could catch aflame. 

Lavender eyes looked on Heavenly Blues and Gabriel found himself looking upon the face of Beelzebub. A being who the angel knew to bear more hurt and fear in bright eyes and wear a scowl with it, who would deny it possession by being ruthless. The tiny being stood as strong as any Seraphim. The Falling Prince wielded a sword too large and clunky and those haunting eyes looked ready to crush the world with such hate and anger and…pain…that Gabriel’s current incarnation felt as though his heart had fallen into the pits of his stomach. Even when they first met, Beelzebub had never looked like that. 

Long hair was both wild and matted with blood, wavy curls weighted down and loose. The turning one's Heavenly robes were spattered and torn at the skirts – the garment exactly fashioned as it had draped Beelzebub’s form in Italy and making his gut twist at the relation – and pale bare arms had small gashes about them. Gold and black ichor had spilled over one shoulder, small ones on a knee, hands, feet, the thinnest part of the turning angel’s delicate neck. But none on Beelzebub’s face. The Fallen Seraphim did not look dissimilar to the nightmare of the carnage of their last battle in the pass and Beelzebub’s defilement in the studio. And the destructive rage in the Fallen’s eyes looked about ready to devour the Prince’s own soul. 

His current self was panicking. 

He did NOT want to see what would happen. He didn’t need to remember this. Not because he remembered, because he didn’t, Gabriel just didn’t want to see how it all played out. He didn’t even know why he was seeing this. He was truly taken by surprise that Beelzebub was there in his memories. Looking almost no different than he last saw the demon. Beelzebub’s features were just as delicate and soft looking, skin unmarked, gold markings missing from view – realizing none of the Fallen had any. 

That of the diminutive Falling angel’s hair that wasn’t slicked with blood caught in the soft wind and into the face he had been slowly learning each time they came into contact. 

His past self was…he couldn’t even tell what was going on with his past self. It was like he went blank. 

Gabriel felt his former self stop. Not just physically, after taking down the last Fallen that moved in their path, but his mind went completely blank. It was as though the enormity of this memory, this meeting, stopped the world. 

Blessed eyes focused on him and the oneday-Prince raised that too-large sword to be level with the Archangel and he heard only four words and nothing else. Four quiet words that made its way over the cacophony of battle to his ears. 

“Move for me, Mezzenger.” 

And Gabriel was slammed back in the world as he knew it. 

The warrior angel stumbled back, hands to face, nearly tripping over the corpse of the midwife. He couldn’t believe his eyes, he felt appalled and shocked and pained at the realization that he had faced down Beelzebub during the Rebellion and hadn’t remembered. He honestly never thought he had. And with the way his brain had processed the faces of the Fallen moments After the Fall of the Rebellion he didn’t know what to make of it. Some carefully woven veil had been drawn away on one person he thought he knew well. 

Beelzebub. 

Ze had looked so angry and in so much pain, and he couldn’t bear to think of what could have happened next, though he held no doubt in his heart as to what. Gabriel tried to reason that something that could have occurred between Beelzebub’s ‘point A’ to Gabriel’s ‘point z,’ ze had been far enough away that ze could have changed targets in the chaos. But zir eyes...They had been so focused on him and so filled with something that paired too well with anger. But even with all that, zir unshakable will and determination, zir obvious strength fitting zir class, that Wrath that pulsed from zir to overtake all else in the battlefield, there was only one certainty that he felt gnaw away at him... 

He had been the one to vanquish zir from Heaven. 

And it made no sense why that disturbed him other than the recall that he had known zir once. Possibly. There hadn’t been enough for him to go on from his former self. Like the shock to his current self was so overwhelming that it actually cancelled out what he felt in the past. There wasn’t fear, wasn’t confusion, wasn’t anything else to go by. 

But the shock caused Gabriel to start to argue with himself over it. He was CERTAIN he didn’t know zir before Golgotha. He was so certain of that. There was just no way. 

He didn’t even entertain the idea that ze could have lied to him about remembering anything from Before. Ze hadn’t lied. He was an angel that could read lies and command Truth from any being. Unless Beelzebub had learned to thwart his ability, which no one had yet, he knew that ze had spoken True. 

And so now, he caught himself fighting this strange guilt. For knowing. He didn’t understand why he would feel guilty for any of it though! He was an Archangel of the Lord! And his very job meant it was his responsibility to thwart the Prince of Hell...even cast zir out... 

But that pain in zir Heavenly blue eyes that coupled with that rage... 

-It’s not as though she wouldn’t know I’m the Messenger. I was a Messenger even then, THE Messenger, I know that. She would know that, she’s meticulous, I’m sure she would have been then too. And she was a Damned Seraphim! She and I were BOUND to have met once or twice. She’d recognize me. 

It was the only reason he could come up with to explain that anger. Hell, he wasn’t even sure ze had directed that anger at him! Just that ze were ever so angry. 

He tried to remember. Tried to reason the look of anger away. Tried to convince himself that ze was probably just as important to Lucifer’s movement, even then, for zir strength. Ze was, after all, the Prince of Demons. That wasn’t something come by easily nor without reason. 

\- We couldn’t have known each other more than in passing...I would have recognized Beelzebub! How could I possibly forget someone like her?...Her eyes... 

But he knew that wasn’t True. 

His fight to remember his little forgotten Lover was proof of that. He couldn’t even remember her face and he had every scrap of her torn from his memory. He kept pacing as what he debated tried to overwhelm him but then he caught sight of the child again. He rubbed at his face and felt his heart sink for the little mortal. 

Then he braced himself and went to task, uncertain if he would be sent into another memory again. When nothing happened he noticed the blood soaking through. Then he looked to Above for strength. It was too much for him and Gabriel had to remind himself that he was strong enough to do this. He was supposed to be a Merciful angel to the mortals. He had to take care of his Mother’s Creation until The End. 

As he prepared the small one for a makeshift miracled burial he noticed that someone had performed some sort of advanced surgery. It was not something done easily, and the cut was so clean. Closer inspection confirmed it was to clear the mortal’s airways, the cut being too precise to cause harm, the hollowed-out reed being used appropriately. It smelled of a demonic touch but not the same as the rest of the room. He decided to file that away for later and would inspect everything of the crime as he went. He even found the sigil marking… 

But that was the only body that caused a memory to resurface. 

He took care of all of it. It was pointless to do much else, the culprits were gone, and no other demonic or evil auras had erupted, not even when he got to the second town. Scouting the second scene he braced himself for the mental assault as he went to tend to the child. He had figured something would happen by now. 

He felt guilty for the relief of seeing his mystery angel curled up in his arms, as they lay beneath the stars he helped create, and not another memory of Beelzebub. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew they were on Earth and they were there in secret. Feeling them shiver, he drew them closer, kissing the crown of her head, and realized there was not a single stitch of fabric on her form. Gabriel felt a mental blush rise up as he could feel his hand slowly map the curves of his forgotten Love. Her hands lay against him, wrapping him up, warming him from their contact. Her breath was flitting across his chest and he realized he was as naked as she. 

They lay like that for a while, Gabriel feeling guilty for touching her so intimately, even if carefully. He couldn’t help but think of a certain ebony-haired demon and how opposed to what he could still feel was such Loving contact ze would be. How ze had told him that a hand was always a threat to a demon, even if it was from one of their own kind. Couldn’t trust anyone. How this little being, if she still lived, probably had the same fear of another laying hands on her. The thought stung doubly so. Once for his lost Lover and once for Beelzebub. 

For Beelzebub, ze had claimed it had been all ze knew. Ze told him ze remembered NOTHING from Before so he realized with a heavy heart that must have meant ze knew nothing like the small contented comfort that he felt in the arms of his Lover. How SHE may not even remember such things either. 

The Peaceful silence of his former-self's mind was jarring, he couldn’t remember a time without hearing her quiet muffled singing...with only a few instances. And not for the first time since this escapade occurred, he became angry that he didn’t stop Lucifer from taking her. Whatever she had done, surely it wasn’t worse than letting Him take her, letting Him corrupt her... 

“Should we return?” He waited for her to say something and present-Gabriel waited with baited breath for her answer. There was no way she couldn’t speak a word at so important a question, keep from looking up at him. Not when her sweat-kissed body was shivering in the cooling night air. “Are you alright?” 

But instead, she shushed him with a soft “sshhh.” Gabriel felt her touch his mouth, gently, and moved to settle her hand right over his heart and tuck her head in closer. A kiss to his neck. And the dream-like memory was gone, the feel of her against him, with it. 

He stared down and tried to let it go. These memories the Messenger had been shown were disturbing in a way he wasn’t sure how to handle, didn’t feel as though he should have them anymore. And so he tried to stop fighting the puzzling feelings they brought up, of Beelzebub, of his lost Lover, and distracted himself with handling the depraved scene before him. 

Like all the other issues, not wanting anyone else to interact with the Dead that seemed like a trap, he took care of it. The Archangel reasoned it would be foolish to leave a weapon like this out. He handled the corpses and made it as though it never happened. Because it was his job to do so and because he didn’t want anyone else to be put in the same situation. 

He set out to ask around, find if anyone had witnessed anyone ‘suspicious’ or a little Dead looking prowling that area. The latter getting him a few looks. But Gabriel was determined to discover any new piece of information. 

What he had not expected to discover, with everything else going on, was a usually surly demon chasing little street children, laughing and playing as the dusk turned to night. The smile on zir face was different than the too wide one ze had used when confronted with the prying priests in Italy, or the patented smirk ze used when being snarky and smug. 

This one hid something behind those painted lips, something that hid just beneath the surface of zir eyes. Now, somehow both bright and darkened, all at once. Zir eyes weren’t fully focused and the Messenger realized ze were intoxicated; he didn’t need to see zir drink from zir pint as ze handed out pastry to a few of them and ‘demanded order,’ followed by zir strangled and short chortle to know that. 

Even if ze were committing some sort of temptation or trying to instill something malicious in these innocence – which he could not sense any ill-intent at all, and not a single DROP of demonic aura attaching to the small beings around zir – he was feeling an ease settle in him. Seeing Beelzebub like this was relieving. There was no hatred in zir eyes. There was no resolute anger and determination. There was no reason to fight zir, not til much later on... 

Just Beelzebub, masquerading around as some woman-shaped being named ‘Bella’ feeding raucous little mischief-makers. 

Technically, it could be seen as a good deed as ze were feeding them, if you asked the Archangel. They all looked as though they wouldn’t know when their next meal would be. The children were all innocent. Very much alive, innocence. He most certainly wasn’t thinking about the poor stolen souls he’d encountered earlier. Not at all! Just taking in the fact that his little infernal wife was...nearly toppled over as ze were swarmed with tiny humans, cackling in that short clipped way and admonishing them. Ruffling the head of one with short hair. Smushing the face of another. There may have been one Beelzebub picked up and dipped over zir knee, tickling them til the child cried out “Mercy!” in a fit of giggles. 

It was an utterly bizarre sight. But it was ever so endearing, even as ze spun one child around and dropped them on their feet, gently flicking at their hair on landing. The child was not deterred by it and launched at the demon, who whooped and stumbled back. 

Gabriel was needless to say surprised but felt much better at this very sight before him. 

As soon as all the children each had something Beelzebub jumped at the nearest and swung them about, shouting how they “can’t let your guard down!” And the children simply laughed at zir and ze feigned fierceness, “Don’t laugh! I’m a bloody blezzed demon! Zhouldn’t laugh at a demon! Fear me!” 

It was actually really funny, and after everything else Gabriel had seen, he wasn’t able to keep his own guard up very well at the sight of zir like so. He tried to keep back his laughter at zir behavior. He mostly had to stand there with his hand on his mouth. 

It did put him a little on edge that ze were in the same settlement as the last scene of debauchery. He wondered why ze were in the vicinity and Hoped ze hadn’t encountered it. 

But still, he couldn’t help watch zir for a few minutes more, arms crossed, knowing ze would be embarrassed to be seen like this by any ethereal. Honestly, Gabriel didn’t want to stop zir when ze were behaving so carefree...but he felt he needed to. 

“Bella, perhaps we should go, dearest.” 

“Fuck.” 

The gaggle of children cracked up at the words that erupted from what had appeared to be a petite lady of standing. They had never seen a ‘woman’ like zir curse so full-heartedly and sudden. However, the Prince simply chuckled, hiccupped and covered zir mouth before trying to shush the children’s laugher. 

“Alright! Alright! Quiet. Now, children. Now, what I just said, you can’t say it again. It would be wrong, that. Rude.” 

This very thing shocked the Archangel to hear and see the demon be so adamant and careful with their manners. 

“Not unless you plan to use it at just the right moment.” 

The children laughed and an angel groaned, hanging his head down in defeat, even though he smiled over his little wife’s devilish antics. 

-And there she goes. 

“Goodness, I could just devour you lot! You’re so cute and sweet looking!” Ze said, lashing out playfully, making chase. The children already started to scatter around the very tipsy demon and laughed. 

“Bee, those are children, you can’t eat children.” He said only a little guarded, uncertain of exactly what the gluttonous little Demon Lord would do. Ze were THE demon of Gluttony after all, though he was still fairly certain ze didn’t deal harm to children. 

Ze stopped zir chase and gave him an exaggerated look and zir eyes rolled around in zir face. Zir already pretty face was a little more distracting in the moon’s light and that of the nearest torch, so Gabriel nearly missed zir next words. 

“Children? No, angel, these are adorable little Cherubim. Don’t you see?” The Prince of Demons went right back to chasing the ones ze had deemed angelically cute, who ze were certain were robbing zir of coin ze willed to fill zir pockets. Ze needed to be surrounded by innocence, even if some would say they weren’t so but thieves. That seldom used chuckle escaping as though ze forgot all of Heaven and Hell for a moment, spinning round trying to reach out for a laughing child but missing just to incite chase. 

The very sight of it, zir seemingly carefree laugh, zir smile, zir own cherubic cheeks, made the warmth resonate deeper in his chest. As soon as he saw zir twinkling watery eyes he was already done for. But then, the realization of zir words and exactly who he was talking to hit the angel again like a ton of stonework. 

“Wait, you eat Cherubim?!” 

Beelzebub stopped abruptly again, and turned on zir heel, wobbling to the point the Archangel had tried to catch zir. Ze swatted his hands away and stumbled. 

“I’m a fucking demon, courze I eat Cherub. Whole. Feathers and all.” Ze got close, as though to give emphasis with zir fierceness that may have been watered down and stopped to pick up zir pint and toss it back. He could smell the fermented grapes on zir breath. 

“With that tiny mouth of yours, I don’t think I would fit in your mouth.” He said almost deadpan. 

Beelzebub choked and sputtered into zir cup and tried to wipe at zir mouth as soon as ze were able to recover a little from zir fit. “Pigeon! I...You...Oh for fuckzz zake, zomeone prezerve me...” The new burst of color of zir cheeks overtook the color pinkened from drink, and the Prince had to cover zir mouth, in embarrassment as ze continued to cough. Ze were too drunk for this and went to sit on the nearest seat but were grabbed by the handsy angel. 

“I think it’s time we go, sunshine. Come on.” 

“Nooo! You bloody bastard of the Lord!” Ze weren’t really struggling so much as flopping backwards into his arms and leaning away from him all at once. 

“I’m not a bastard.” His voice and face turned stoic over feeling the tremble in zir limbs combined with the knowledge of that earlier concerning glint in zir eyes he had spied. Something was wrong. He simply just knew that something was terribly wrong and he wanted to know or take zir someplace to calm. 

“Then, who’zzz your daddy?” (This was not asked in the way we know it, dear reader. This was not asked in jest at all and Beelzebub would only vaguely remember asking such a question, so carelessly posed while drunk, only centuries later when it took on new meaning...and THEN be mortified.) 

“Bee...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. I am admitting that I HAD to do that little parting shot. It was too funny as it came out of my head. And I don’t usually do those little blurbs that point to futures or potentials as I want to be careful with the voice of the story, but I think it was fitting because with the way Beelzebub is ze WOULD be completely mortified ze said something so carelessly like that to an angel that ze think is overly literal and dumb. 
> 
> And I hope now you can understand what I meant by dubious consent. It was not Prince Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, that gave the consent but zir past self giving consent. I don’t know how else to label it. 
> 
> I’m so very curious what everyone’s takeaway of what I wrote is for this chapter, please let me know. I started writing about some things for these notes, how I felt about certain parts, but I enjoy hearing what YOU all think instead of putting words in everyone’s heads. (I write enough! I want to see what you think.) 
> 
> There will be actual comfort in the next chapter, I PROMISE! I’m actually excited about this section because the drunken antics with the children had been written already (from “Goodness I could devour you lot...” to Bee being grabbed up by Gabriel and him saying “I think it’s time to go, sunshine.”) and so had MOST of the next chapter but I didn’t know if I could actually use it and was happy that it strangely fit with everything else that I have been writing. (Things may have gotten out of control with certain parts of the story but I think we’ve learned that I’m like Crowley just watching everything play out as it comes and nervously accepting that this is what’s going on. ::insert that pic of nervous David Tennant here::) 
> 
> Questions and comments are appreciated, down to silly ones, everything people have taken the time to write has definitely made impacts on me. I didn’t know that people would even respond to my work and it pleases me to no end to see what you have to say. Con-crit is very welcome too, I try to go back and fix my mistakes because I want my gibberish to be slightly more palatable or at least understandable gibberish. 
> 
> Please take care, I know things are getting a little more frightening this side of the pond so I’m hoping everyone stays safe. <3


	12. Lean On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel takes Beelzebub to lodgings across town, to rest, taking care of his wiley tipsy wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I THINK! After reading this through again, that this is the least trauma I’ve ever written for these two. There is a little bit of angst (or maybe a lot of angst), some dubious consensual things that happen that neither being really had made plans on. There is minor memory struggles (so PTSD from the recently remembered?) and a tipsy demon in here. If I didn’t make Beelzebub only drink while on Earth and only in very specific places, I would think ze had a drinking problem. 
> 
> Warning that I don’t know if I wrote fluff well but I think this is fluffy for these two. Fluff and angst and comfort. If I’ve missed any triggers PLEASE let me know, you all know I don’t like surprising anyone. 
> 
> For S...I still don't know how to do that gifty thing yet.  
> TW: Mild dubious consent because Bee is tipsy and there is touching that's SUPPOSED to be innocent.  
> Note: I need to stop editing while I'm so ridiculously tired.

The two finally managed to make it to a nearby tavern that had rooms for lodging, someplace the locals said would fit "people of their standing." A large slate-grey house stood in the middle of a small lock of land, towards the edge of town. The dark of night had set upon them and the rest of the town was getting quiet; not a single ethereal disturbance to be heard or seen either. 

That, and it was on the opposite side of town, far away from that cursed midwife’s house, making Gabriel send up a silent prayer of thanks. He couldn’t seem to get them both far enough from it. 

It made Beelzebub complain that they were simply going from one tavern to another, and that it was “stupid,” but Gabriel was insistent that they found one that wouldn’t serve zir alcohol so easily. He admonished zir that he thought ze were a handful from the amount ze indulged in already, to which Beelzebub made faces at him. 

He all but dragged zir at one point, not because ze were being difficult or really all that drunk that ze couldn't stand properly, but because ze were tripping over zir heels and skirts, and so the Archangel Gabriel simply picked zir up and carried zir the rest of the way, bridal style. 

This absolutely made Beelzebub indignant and made zir struggle. Ze slapped at the angel’s arms and broad shoulders, kicked zir little legs about, and cursed up a storm. But when Gabriel readjusted zir, pretending to nearly drop zir, ze clung to him and yelped. He did laugh at zir stating, “I would never drop you, Bella. Fear not.” And the fly demon scowled and grunted. It didn’t take much longer for the two to get to the tavern, but it felt like otherwise. Beelzebub, in zir fit til then, sagged against the angel, head over his shoulder, growling into his shoulder that he “better not, elze I’ll kick your perfectly zhaped arze.” 

Whether ze realized ze said that out loud or meant for the Messenger to hear that, no one knew. But Gabriel certainly did hear it and couldn’t stop the toothy grin from spreading on his face. 

He wore that very face all the way into the tavern’s foyer and as he asked for a room, siting that his lady wife was in need of rest from their weary travels. The clerk asked no more questions after being supplied with the fees and directed them to their rooms, no pomp or circumstance. They got to their room and Gabriel gently let the Prince down, ze had nearly started to doze off but snapped awake as soon as zir feet touched the floor. 

The room was not much different than any other tavern, drab and faded yellow, lacking ornate decorations that could be thieved away, but held basic necessities for travelers. A wash basin and jug sat in the corner of the room on a stand, the bed was rather large and in the center, windows on the side wall covered by red curtains, and a fireplace that Gabriel quickly sparked to life with a snap, it was rather cold that night. 

It didn’t look like much for sure, but the bed did look warm and inviting. 

The Prince tried to make zirself taller and imperious, but ze were honestly more tired than ze had realized. The day had drained zir, and ze were tipsy and relatively alone, barring the Archangel at zir side. Ze just wanted to close zir eyes now. Forget. Forget everything. 

“Let’s get you to bed.” Gabriel went to take zir hand but ze wretched it away. 

“You had no buzinezz meddling with my...buzzinezzz.” 

“Oh? And what business was it that I thwarted?” 

“None of yourzz.” 

Gabriel sighed and rubbed his forehead, “I didn’t think you would be drinking on a job like this.” 

“The zinners weren’t my job at the moment. And I’m not drunk.” Ze started to pad over to the fireplace but tripped again, hands stopping zir from face-planting on the floor. This only served to make the angel think ze were in a worse state than ze claimed. Gabriel had managed to take hold of zir and right zir before ze could fall all the way forward, but, on helping zir regain balance, zir eyes came back distant. “Blezzed innozzenze...” Ze groused almost too quietly for him to hear, and then sniffed. “Making sure thoze stupid humanz who uze them feel guilt for abandoning them and jealous az I provided.” 

“Inebriated and giving them sweets?” 

“Food is food and the children feel warmer when they have sweets. Sweeter and warm and safe.” Ze said as if that was the most common-sense thing in the world. Ze began to fidget and kicked off zir heels. And then zir breathing seemed to hitch and ze swayed. “Why are all the clothez zo God Blezzzedly tight?! I can’t fucking breath!” 

“Stop whining Bee, it’s the fashion. Besides, you look good. And you’ve worn corseting before, how is this different?” 

“Before I could fucking breathe. Ziz iz juzt another way to torment zomeone. It’z tied zzzo tightly, I can hardly move.” 

“Well, whose fault is that? Besides, we don’t need to breath. And as you are a demon, I’d say being unable to move is something Heaven would favor.” 

“Fuck you.” 

“Come now, Bee, really?” His eyebrows arched high as he looked down at zir and ze only made a face back, annoyed, before ze ran zir hands down zir front and fanned zirself. Somehow ze looked paler. 

Gabriel ran his hands down the length of zir bodice, feeling the unforgiving fibers molding zir body and Beelzebub gasped and nearly teetered backwards, feeling feint, had Gabriel not caught zir again. 

“Oh, angel, pleazze help me out of ziz torture contrapzzion!” Zir head lolled back, exposing zir pale throat, and zir breathing became a bit more ragged making zir bust heave deeply. He swallowed as he watched Beelzebub try to catch zir breath and sway in his arms. Zir eyes were fluttering in the candlelight and Gabriel couldn’t get his brain to function enough to form words so he nodded with a grunt as he started slowly running his hands over zir body, looking carefully for the closure of zir gown. His hands felt like they could cover quite a bit of zir small frame. 

He had admired this style of dress immensely, the purple and grey one on Beelzebub in particular was rather nice, finding it hard to not notice all the little details of the new garment. The way it fit zir, how it emphasized certain attributes, the way the caped back gathered at the sides to still accent zir waist. But right now, all the information on how it opened had seemed to fly from him. 

“The front, pigeon!” Ze snapped, stomping zir feet but not swatting his hand away. 

Ze started to undo the buttons at the front, clumsy from drink and Gabriel tried to undo them with one hand, fumbling.

“Gabriel! Pleazzze! Hurry!” Zir breathing was labored and so was his as he tried to move with zir as Beelzebub slowly swayed side to side, frustrated. 

“Give me a moment.” 

“No! Now, Archangel!” 

He would have thought more on how he reacted to zir bossing him around, even planned on admonishing zir as any angel should, but the door swung open. It startled the fumbling celestial making him trip as he tried to cover Beelzebub, as he had learned it was indecent for zir to be spied in such a state. That and Gabriel didn’t think Beelzebub was much into revealing zir form in these circumstances, from what he’d witnessed of zir. Instead, the two tumbled to the bed and Gabriel accidentally crushed the fly Prince, making zir grunt beneath him. 

“Sorry. Did not know this room was taken.” 

“Out!” Ze shouted and the two intruders fled. Meanwhile, as soon as they were alone again, the two ethereal beings lay there, staring at the other, one in more of a half-dazed trance while the other was trying to not focus on the way the demon felt below him or how zir chest rose and fell. Ze looked up into his eyes and shook off the warmth that was building. Ze tried to glare at the angel. “You and I need to have a converzazzion about-oh for fuck’zz zake, tear it off if you have to!” Ze were fed up and started for the bustline. Gabriel only just managed to stay zir hands, pinning them down by the sides of zir face before adjusting himself to slide down zir body and off onto his knees. 

He was nestled between zir thighs and he still had hold of zir frail looking wrists that moved with him. His elbows and forearms ended resting over zir open legs, sending a shiver through zir and making Beelzebub swallow. 

He pulled zir to sit up, by zir hands, and ze hiccuped feeling a full body blush. That was not supposed to be how a demon should react to drinking and that was not how zir body should react to feeling anyone, an angel, THIS angel, slide down zir body and kneel before zir. In zir drunken state it was a bad mix of the unidentifiable and that usual fear. But he had not made motions to hurt zir yet. 

But that annoying, frustrating, frightful little trill did, it persisted and confused zir as it often had. That unrecognizable flutter that he made zir feel time and again and didn’t want to examine, no matter how often he brought it out of zir. 

“Shouldn’t ruin such nice clothes.” Gabriel said as he cleared his throat as he began to undo zir bodice. 

He would peer at zir face, back and forth, as he carefully moved from one button to the next, moving from zir waist up to zir bust. Ze didn’t help him, only watched. When he finally got to the top, the Archangel undid the last closure as he watched zir blank expression. He stood as he opened the stomacher wide and slid the bodice slowly down zir arms and off, gentle with zir delicate looking wrists, removing one at a time. Mindful of how the sack back of the gown was under zir. He stood and laid a hand on the back of zir neck as he leaned past zir to lay out the top half behind zir, neatly. And startled as he felt a hand come up to grab his upper arm and waist and hear as ze took a deep breath, sounding like a hiss. 

That harsh little sound unsettled him, but he dismissed it just as quickly. It was only a hiss. 

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” 

But ze shook zir head and pressed zir forehead against his bicep. 

“Dizzzzzy.” 

“Oh.” 

“Juzt get on with it, yeah?” 

Ze felt as he lay his hand on zir waist and undid the bindings that held the panel to zir skirts. When that was done he pulled zir up to standing and reached around zir to undo the skirts, pulling them down zir slowly. Maybe slower than he needed. 

Zir hands sought his shoulders for balance as he sank to his knees, gripping him, and zir breath hitched. Taking hold of one of zir hands, Gabriel assisted zir to step out, trying to ignore the disobedient thrum of his heart when he felt zir hand grasp at him. However, he eventually was kneeling before the Prince again, looking up at zir. 

The Archangel stood, placing a steadying hand on zir waist, and stepped behind zir to start unlacing zir slate grey, almost purple undergarment. Slowly, he moved down each hand sewn grommet latticework, careful to ease it off without tangling it. 

This particular stay’s binding wasn’t that different from the one ze wore in Italy but he could see the boning sections were doubled, if not tripled, up and how they were tighter, squeezing zir already tiny frame. It was a wonder to see, zir figure further emphasized despite how diminutive ze were. The corset was far tighter than the corsets of the previous years, and so zir waist cut in deep. It was a wonder Beelzebub tried to breath at all and he tried to keep his hands from feeling that dangerous curve as it was now. 

Before he could get halfway, a second set of intruders entered and the far too drunk demon spun round, wide-eyed, and into the Archangel, tackling him to the bed with a grunt. 

“Excuse us, a little privacy?” Gabriel managed to call out, eyeing them from beneath the demon, with daggers in his eyes. 

Murmurs of apologies were heard but not before Beelzebub could lean back, exposing so much creamy flesh of zir neck and décolletage before him, and chuck something at them to expedite their leave. Someone yelped making the tiny Prince make a little raspy giggle. 

“Bee! Rude!” Gabriel grumbled causing zir to laugh a little more. 

“Gabriel! Demon!” Ze arched zir eyebrows at him and giggled that gaspy little breath, zir little cheeks becoming apple-y and Gabriel forgot himself and touched the Prince lying atop him. He ran his fingers over it but quickly moved away when zir sparkling eyes became piercing and fixed on him. Zir smile dropped and zir reddened cheeks seemed to darken. Confusion and fear came back but it wasn’t as strong as before, however, it was enough to make him remove his hand. 

-I’ll never harm you like that. 

“Sorry...” 

“You gonna take me out of zizz ztupid thing, or what?...” Beelzebub’s eyes roved his face, seeming to scrutinize the tiniest detail. 

“Yes, of course. Certainly.” 

He sat up and brought zir with him, uncertainty crossing zir features but were hidden again as ze somehow conjured up another pint and brought it up to zir mouth, making Gabriel huff in disappointment. He took it from zir, making zir squawk in protest. 

“Why do you like this kind of gross matter so much anyway? Especially af-“ 

“Have you even tried it?” Ze snipped trying to get it back, placing zir hand on his thigh, missing the bed in zir unsteady haze. He was only surprised by the touch for a moment, distracted by zir grip and feeling a flutter in his belly for a second, distracted by zir pouty lip that seemed to do wonders on his corporation. But still... 

“Don’t plan to.” 

“Come on, Gabriel! Just a sip?” 

This was a subject he would not budge on, something he didn’t think he would ever have issue combating. 

-Not after what happened to you... 

His frown was deep and he tried to put the mug down on the table by the bed, making zir reach for it. But Beelzebub was stubborn and leaned all the way til their chests were touching and ze looked him in the eyes, suddenly very wide-eyed again, and then...hiccupped once more, slapping both hands over zir mouth and nearly tumbling to the floor had Gabriel not grabbed hold of zir waist again, pinning zir on his thigh that easily supported zir. 

Ze hiccupped twice more, making the Archangel chuckle and pat the small of zir back after managing to put the cup down. He was able to use both hands and adjust his legs better around the Prince and moved Beelzebub, who was still horrified by zir undemonic behavior, to turn zir away so he could finally finish unlacing. Ze didn’t resist and it seemed ze were frozen, internally fighting what ze were feeling on the inside. 

Chills. 

The chills were back and ze felt zir breath becoming labored again, all while Gabriel worked at zir stays. 

-This was an awful idea. 

Ze were now all too aware of that strange heat that had been pooling between zir legs, stronger than the last time he had done this to zir. Once loose enough it felt as though Beelzebub’s entire body relaxed and unclenched. As soon as Gabriel lifted it up and over zir ze practically fell out of it, backwards against his torso, suddenly very languid. 

“I never thought I’d ever zay ziz but ‘thank. You.’” Ze sighed again, “Tell a ZOUL I zaid that and I will end you earlier than our agreed upon timeline, dear huzband.” 

Gabriel couldn’t help chuckle at the Prince’s statement. But the chuckle died in a strangled mess as he watched zir stretch and arch up, shoulder blades pressed against his chest, pushing him backwards to lean them against the headboard and pillows, feeling relief roll off zir. 

He had to clear his throat, and his voice took on a practiced tone. “I’d prefer we keep to our agreement. So not a soul. And, in regards to helping you with your undergarments, any time you need me, ‘dearest.’” 

“Ztop that.” Without thinking, ze put a hand to his mouth, somehow not missing zir mark behind zir head. If there was one thing Beelzebub couldn’t seem to miss, it was Gabriel’s mouth. 

The feel of zir soft finger pads sent a shock to his system and a familiarity about it rattled around in his head. He tried to shake it off and ground himself in the moment. He didn’t think he could handle thinking about what he’d seen just yet. Everything was too tied together and he would think of the unHoly scene it was all attached to. He would think of HER and wonder... 

He took hold of zir wrist, as he always found he needed to, and tried to ingrain the feeling into his memory as something separate, something new. 

And the thought that it was just the similar gesture kept him from reading further into it. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt Beelzebub’s fingers, or palm of zir hand, on his lips, after all. Without allowing himself to think clearly, he rubbed that hand and wrist against his lips and he startled slightly at the sigh that left Beelzebub at the contact. 

The way zir palm felt so soft was another thing that he couldn’t ever seem to get over. Zir unnecessary pulse at zir wrist under his fingers and lips and the coldness that was always present. He felt compelled to wrap zir up in his arms and give zir his warmth, the angel reasoned it couldn’t be good for zir corporation. 

“Do you...do you even have any idea how you zound when you say thingz like that?” Ze asked after a while, looking up at him, not moving zir hand away. 

“What’s wrong with the way I sound?” 

Eyeing him, ze felt that strange flutter in zir chest ze were usually so good at ignoring. 

“Tell me.” 

Ze didn’t know if ze were sober enough or drunk enough for this conversation but ze allowed him to keep hold of zir wrist and run his fingers over it. Secretly paying attention to the feel of his lips brushing against zir skin. It was a strange feeling and the Prince watched absentmindedly as the angel did so. 

“Zometimezz you zound like you’re putting on a zhow. Before we declared our claimz to each other you eazily popped it off. When I first saw you again, surrounded by those who could harm us for it, you hardly seemed fazed. Ztop zounding zo ztrange about it now that we’re alone, z’not a lie. For better or worze, and all that.” 

“Oh, did you hear the ‘Death do us part,’ bit?” 

Ze arched an eyebrow at him and waited for him to elaborate. 

“In the ceremonies for unions, they say ‘til Death do us part.’” 

“What about it?” 

A confident smile spread from ear to ear in excitement about what he was about to impart, his brow quirked. He wasn’t really sure why he was excited but went with it. It was a good distraction right then. 

“That was all me, I did that. Whispered in a few ears while we were still running around during the 1500s, thought it was a nice touch and thought of...well, us.” He shrugged as he nearly beamed down at the figure who hadn’t extracted zirself from his personal space, despite him not laying a hand on zir to keep zir there. Adding quickly, upon seeing zir eyes widen, “Of our own union.” 

“Zzymbolic. You’re a ztrange-strange bird.” Ze seemed to have finally caught onto the fact ze were buzzing and tried to swallow it down, cursing how it got worse while intoxicated. 

“Bee, why do you do that?” 

“What?” 

“The thing with your buzzing? I’ve noticed you try to stop it, fairly often.” 

For a moment ze seemed to draw in on zirself, zir lips twisted and he was certain ze wouldn’t tell him. But then ze shrugged, “People know I’m messed up when I buzz. Unsettles them.” Ze didn’t want to know his thoughts on zir buzzing really but ze were trying to remind zirself that ze didn’t care and plowed on. “In Hell it doesn’t really matter, everyone has things...and my buzzzzing-my buzzing isn’t the biggest of my faults, as we both know. But here, it’s a deterrent. Have to keep up appearances.” Beelzebub didn’t want to think of the memories that hinted ze had buzzed even Before… 

“Why did it feel like Prince Asmodeus was belittling you for it? During the council?” His brow furrowed and he finally took zir hand away from his face, resting them on his bent knee. Everything about Asmodeus’s behavior still irked him thinking about it, but this was relevant to how Beelzebub spoke. How even angels weren’t behaving very compassionate and that humans thought a speech impediment was wrong also rankled him. As the Messenger of God, he was aware that there were thousands of ways to speak and so picking on one for their own way was weird and annoying. There were many ways to communicate, it didn’t matter how as long as the message was coherent. 

Neither higher being seemed to realize or acknowledge as Gabriel’s hand shifted into Beelzebub’s, nor that ze held his back. His large fingers managed to flit over zir poesy ring for a second or two before weaving their fingers together. 

“Because Azmodeuzzz iz…is an arse! He thinks I’m lesser and finds it annoying and ugly, most do. Heavenz, I do! He likes to point it out because he can get away with it sometimezz. It’s just something a demon does to others.” 

He shook his head, he felt as though zir buzzing wasn’t like that at all. If anything, it was more...cute and disarming than anything else, and he would site it added to zir skills to be so underhanded. It was just perfectly Beelzebub. But he didn’t know how the demon would react to being called cute. 

“Well, Asmodeus can go discorporate himself. There’s nothing wrong with you.” 

And a strange warmth spread through zir corporation, starting at zir chest. Ze wouldn’t dare look up at him. 

-Fuck. 

“Of course, there’s something wro-” 

“You should get to sleep. Sleep this off so that we can go after our renegade souls, tomorrow.” 

“We?” 

“Yes. We.” 

A beat of silence and Beelzebub decided to give up for the moment. It wouldn’t do well to argue with him not to follow. Ze also had no plan of what to do next. And ze felt rather...at ease in his arms right then. The demon had nearly forgotten that ze had been, essentially, lying out in between his thighs and holding his hand. And ze were ever so tired... 

Ze yawned, quick to cover zir mouth and couldn’t fight the need to stretch out. Zir already too tense body crackled and ze felt something pull that shouldn’t have and ze scrunched up and began to rub the underside of zir own thigh. Ze were too drunk to pretend it wasn’t a new painful nuisance. 

“Are you okay? What happened?” 

“Z’nothing.” Ze were only sort of growling. 

“Bee, I wish you would just tell me. Did you pull a muscle?” He asked with a frustrated sigh. “Here, let me help.” 

“Why?!” The edge was back, and Beelzebub wasn’t feeling frightened but unnerved. 

“Because I know how to take care of a corporation and you seem to know how to take them apart. Your own, in particular.” He held out his free hand for zir to inspect, wiggling his fingers but moving not a muscle more. “I swear to you, I won’t hurt you.” 

A dubious pause and Beelzebub growled before giving in again, with a sharp, “Fine.” And the Archangel Gabriel told zir to place his hands on zir where it felt like ze had pulled zir muscle, commenting how it had could be either the semitendinosus or the femoris longus from the part ze were rubbing, ignoring the strangely Heavenly softness of zir thigh. Beelzebub was only half listening, worrying if he was going to lie to zir or change his mind. Ze waited for it. Ze grumbled that ze were surprised he knew the names of muscles but it was barely audible.

“Just show me the area and if I go the wrong way redirect me.” 

Beelzebub didn’t enjoy taking his hand and placing it on the inside of zir leg, under the hem of zir shift. The sight disturbed zir, it made it all feel inappropriate. Not that a demon should care, nor Beelzebub after everything ze have done in the past with zir body, ze shouldn’t have cared. Ze didn’t enjoy having his much larger hand, guided by zir smaller one, over that region of pain and realize that if he tried he could fit his broad hand up more than half the length of that part of zir. Ze did not enjoy that the way that his wrist rested against it. Ze did not like the fact that ze sighed from the medium pressure he was using to carefully massage zir. Ze especially didn’t like that ze kept having to tell zirself all that as it all happened. 

However, it didn't stop that ze had to draw in a shaky breath as ze felt him press his fingers into the muscle of zir leg. And the Prince couldn’t keep a tight moan from zir mouth as ze felt his hand travel up and down the length of one of those muscles he apparently knew how “to take care of.” Ze would never admit to how zir hands shook and clamped tighter onto his and how zir lungs caught in zir throat, making zir grunt. 

Beelzebub was feeling so light-headed. And even zir little stockinged feet couldn't cooperate and curled up and dug into the mattress, Gabriel couldn’t stop a sigh escaping his own lips watching and feeling how ze squirmed and verbally reacted. This was not going at all as he had expected nor planned. He was careful on his return and dug his fingers in at just the right pressure, all the while allowing Beelzebub to guide him. 

Ze just couldn’t sit still but held onto both of his hands, clutching at the hand entwined with zir own resting on his thigh. 

Zir body had a mind of its own and zir back arched again as Gabriel’s hand moved to slide up zir thigh. It went much higher up then intended from zir movement, pressing in, moving further up, zir hand still covering his. As their joined hands went higher up zir leg the two became hyper-focused. Gabriel didn’t even know what had possessed him, and he knew that it wasn’t just the Prince allowing his hand, he was wandering of his own volition. He got almost all the way up what he knew was the semimembranosus muscle – because that was supposed to be his focus, working on Beelzebub’s fatigued and in need muscles – and the demon flinched and gasped. It was not an unpleasant sound, but he stopped his movements. 

“Are you alright?” He husked out, making him feel the need to clear his throat but he didn’t dare! A confusing timid aura of some form of pleasure was radiating from zir along with the little sounds from zir mouth that he feared driving away. That persistent fear was already starting to grow as it was. Hell, HE was frightened but he didn’t want to startle Beelzebub further. It took everything in the angel to keep control, between that and zir body’s movements. 

“Y-yeah...I...I think zo...” Ze didn’t sound too certain and zir body was trembling again. A long lost memory had ricocheted to the forefront that ze wanted nothing to do with. Gabriel’s large warm hands were not helping that and zir breathing changed drastically to reflect that. “Can we ztop?...” 

Ze had not ASKED anyone to stop in such a way...not in a very long time, and the demon wanted to kick zirself for it. 

“Of course.” He took his hand away immediately and felt a little sad that Beelzebub had let go of both of his and drew zir arms around zirself. 

It completely shocked Beelzebub that Gabriel let zir go; no fighting, no questions, no persuasions, no force, and no blow dealt. Just letting go and accepting, resting on his own legs now. 

No one had ever done any of that without a threat of some sort. Ze felt very overwhelmed in the moment. Whether it was his disturbing gentleness, zir still Warring hormones that wouldn’t stop plaguing zir body and brain for another few weeks, or zir current tipsiness, ze couldn’t tell. But ze couldn’t stop the breaths that were too deep and quick that hurt zir lungs. Something that Beelzebub had tried to keep locked away was fighting to escape zir, and zir body revolted against zir will. 

The demon took several settling breaths and stilled before laying zir head against the angel. 

Gabriel had not expected for zir to suddenly roll over and curl up against him, wrapping zir arms around his waist, forehead ending up just at the base of his ribs. Zir whole behavior was shocking. The angel held completely still, his hands up and body alert, fearing the wrong move. He had known something was wrong before he took zir with him, the pain ze exhibited was so familiar but this reaction was not. This was the very first time ze engaged in any form of physical contact, nothing more than reaching for his hand, while not prompted for appearance-sake or hurt...hurt physically, anyway. That haunted look in zir eyes was too familiar and it alarmed him. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

“No.” 

“Are you going to fall asleep like this?” 

“Why? M’not allowed?” Ze looked up to meet his purple gem-like eyes with that fear dancing behind them suddenly, ze tried to cover it with a glare but it was no use against him. “Are you going to hurt me?” 

And without missing a beat he gently wrapped his arms around zir shoulders and drew zir closer to him. He would give zir this comfort. He decided that he would if Beelzebub could trust him enough to do this, believing zir words that there was no one else to trust. “You know I will not. I promised you that I wouldn’t.” 

-And never like that. 

“Not now...” 

And the memory of zir on the battlefield from Before, commanding him to move for zir and staring him down with such fierceness, knowing he had to have been the one to hurt zir and banished zir from Heaven, knowing they were destined to do that again on Earth one last time, popped into his mind. He couldn’t shake it and started to run his hands up and down zir back, bringing a hand up and grazed zir neck on his way to zir cheek. He couldn’t lie about it though. 

“As we’ve always planned, dearest.” He didn’t stop himself as he caressed zir cheek and Gabriel startled when ze leaned into it, closing zir eyes. “At The End...Til Death do us part, and all that...” Suddenly, he wasn’t liking his double meaning that he had coined in relation to matrimony. 

“Good. I’ll be depending on you, Love.” Ze said quietly as ze finally relaxed, burying zir face between them, zir legs flat out behind zir and Gabriel’s out to both sides. 

He didn’t know what ze meant by that. Something seemed rather strange about the way ze said that, but he had no choice but to let it go, ze needed rest and he needed zir close, even if to only look zir in the eye and see nothing more than his reflection in those blue orbs that cursed him. He adjusted them both to better accommodate zir, cradling zir head in his hands, and slipped the blankets from one side of the bed over zir shivering form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had this mostly done for a while but I still needed a few things to tweak and by the time I got to this part of the story I had an online panel I had signed up to do for one of my fashion groups I’m a part of. There has also been a lot of new information and acts that have come into play that altered the way the two would react in these situations. And the very beginning...I hadn't written them getting to the tavern and needed to write that.
> 
> I had not written/planned Beelzebub’s last two memories. I didn’t know that I would reveal those things and went through a whole ton of different ones that just weren’t flowing as I’d like. But as I made these new ones they each struck me as best, it showed how Beelzebub, as a victim of fairly constant, prolonged abuse would behave in a consensual one. It also happened to have the double issue of it being memories ze had no wise to remember, and how exposure to sexual acts being done to one’s body (because the memories make them relive the moment) would be awful to zir for tons of reasons. It would not be zir current desire. It would also be unbearable for being impacted with feelings and emotions ze were not prepared for and are considered foreign to zir, as well. 
> 
> I also had never planned to share the memory of Gabriel meeting Beelzebub on the battlefield like that, but the sudden confusion for him it would inflict felt right to share then. That one HAD been written out but for a much later segment when EVERYTHING was going to be revealed to him. So That changed, the rest of the Battle of Heaven will be shared at that later much later instance. 
> 
> Unfortunately, this meant that some in this chapter were missing important things. I tried to be careful with all of it. 
> 
> My other major issue was l debated how long it was going to run (we all know I type and type and type. You can imagine my damned panel). This is now more of a two-part chapter and the second half will just start off the next chapter – giving a bit more fluff before more dark things. 
> 
> The only other issue I ran into...was bloomers/underwear/underbreeches/drawers...I’m a fashion history buff and sometimes I slip up with fashion but I wanted to be careful with drawers. And because of one very...delicate detail, I kept going back and forth with what to put on Bee. I hadn’t really thought of underwear because, in reenactment and high fashion clothes that I wear I never go without because it’s easier to manage and I don’t have to worry about winds, even though I wear regular underwear with it (Not that anyone needs to know). Historically, underwear has an interesting part in things, particularly for “womenly-shaped beings” and for different parts of the world. 18th century England and America wore them, going by both medical records and inventory records of shipments (mostly from Italy), but they were sparse. So, it was really being careful, thought of Bee’s character and how ze handled zirself, what ze just had to go through, and in the end decided that ze would maybe wear a long shift instead of drawers for this particular point, for science (which if you are an owner of the particular body part that Bee has you do understand to an extent. The rest is sciencey I swear! GOSH WHY DID IT FREAKING MATTER SO MUCH?!) The other reason is that having zir go back and forth between pants and skirts with a long chemise/shift, makes it tough to tuck the shift into damned pants with drawers (Trust me...I know...it just looks awful and I'm very grateful I wear modern underwear even with bloomers and all that.) 
> 
> Please let me know how it all reads, I did another read through as I finished up this. Comments help me, whether con-crit or things you catch about it, or feelings you wish to share on it. I appreciate ALL of it. 
> 
> Stay safe! <3


	13. Long Nights Lead To Longer Mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up to finding an angel should be seen as a blessing...which is more of a curse when you are a power of Hell and married to the strange winged bastard. 
> 
> Beelzebub wakes to find zirself in Gabriel’s arms and far too many questions and anxiety about it. 
> 
> Gabriel is just trying to focus on what’s in front of him so that he doesn’t have to think on anything else, but Beelzebub is making it difficult in ways that were not perdicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a bit for this one too. Mainly because I had to be careful with something that Bee was going through. I just try to follow through with what feels right, trying to keep close to their behaviors from the show, but in a more relaxed way that isn’t keyed up for Armageddon. And especially after a shift in some of the segments in the last chapter, I wanted to clean things up. It has been a mess But I’ve finally got it to a point I’m satisfied and don’t feel like it’s off. 
> 
> I also had issues with a very teeny snippet that made no sense to really have but I wanted to keep it. I just didn’t want it to be the first section to be read (but I WANT my extra pointless fluff dammit!) so I worked flashback magic to be wielded for fluff and not angst or pain or terror for once. Believe me when I say that I’m just as surprised as you are. 
> 
> And the last thing that I wanted to say is that I’ve had these two metaphorically rolling around in my head for the last few days. It was for a later part of this pairs story and I had to write it out, didn’t want to lose it. It’s been a stressful week for all of us in the world and I’m glad I have something between fluff and comfort and angst to give in writing form (Or so I think I do?...I could be weird and out of touch with those meanings because of this story. Let me know) 
> 
> I also wanted to note, as Ao3 had recently did the server maintenance that I had posted the last chapter “Lean On Me” shortly before that and if you aren’t sure if you saw that one, it was posted on the 20th in case you want to be certain. 
> 
> I don’t think there are any TW except implied capture and a kind of sort of panic attack. They’re both working through things in this chapter, so I was sure to have a little comfort. 
> 
> And as always let me know if I did miss a TW.

Hours later, Beelzebub felt as ze slowly began to wake up. It was strange. Ze felt…ze weren’t completely certain. 

Soft. Zir body felt comfort and warm and relaxed, all over. It was a very strange feeling. 

And when ze stretched, kicking zir little feet behind zir – something Beelzebub found zirself in the habit of doing after sleeping – ze drew what should have been zir pillow closer to zir face. 

It was so comforting and comfortable and...familiar ze buried zir face against it, wrapping zir arms tighter around…something that did not feel at all like a pillow. It wasn’t soft either. Moving zir hands down ze felt…something rather curvy and well-defined and…round…and this pillow grunted and twitched when ze squeezed it tightly in zir arms. 

“Morning, sunshine.” The Messenger of God half-grunted out in a choked chirp, at the small infernal Prince curled up in his lap, as only a certain gravely-voiced bastard could,. 

Ze regretted not sobering up properly and groaned before burrowing zir face closer into his abs, not fully aware of their compromising position. Nor the fact that zir pillow was abs attached to an angel. Or the fact that ze had just squeezed his ass. Zir skull was beginning to throb harder and ze groaned, the information of the outside world was not making sense yet. 

“Bee, you alright?” 

Ze put zir hand on his mouth to get him to shut up. Ze didn’t have the ability to handle his loud voice with a hangover. 

“Quiet, pigeon.” 

It was that action that did it, snapping reality into place. 

On finally looking – or looking at his abs and then looking UP at Gabriel, who had papers in one hand and his other resting on zir back – the Prince startled, jumping away so hard that it hurt zir head more. 

The Archangel Gabriel was reclining with his hair looking slightly disheveled, a few strands loose from the front of his usually impeccable coif. His breeches were hanging open and Beelzebub learned that, though that flap of material kept that not quite so delicate part of him obscured, Gabriel’s corporation’s hair definitely matched all over. The Archangel’s shirt was rung up into a bunch, fairly high, exposing smooth skin and the beginnings of a sparse trail of soft downy silver hair, starting at a little below his belly button, going down... 

The sun from the window dappled across his features through the window and made him seem to glow in a Heavenly light. He was beautiful and Blessed and Beelzebub felt zir heart flutter and the need to physically shake zirself out of zir shocked reverie and run from the room. Ze had to swallow, as zir nerves became keyed up, and ze tried to remember what breathing was like. 

“What…what happened to you?!” 

-I really don’t want to know. 

“What do you mean?” 

Zir already too-wide eyes peeled up and down his body followed by zir hand as though that could articulate better. Since zir tongue was having issues, it was all ze could do. 

“Oh. That. You willed them off. You apparently didn’t like my buttons.” He tried not to chuckle at it, but he couldn’t stop the nervous smile crossing his features. Realizing his state was causing zir distress was one thing, the fact that ze couldn’t seem to recall was making him nervous. And the spike in fear. He didn’t like where this was going. 

“I...did that?...” 

“Yes, you were very…adamant about getting my-uh-buttons off. So, you growled and then: poof! Off they went.” 

The Prince tried to think back, tried to unravel the last few hours and it was like a door creaked open to reveal the memory. 

The relative Peace of the night was suddenly disturbed by a quiet but frustrated groan from a tiny infernal Prince. Ze couldn’t lay still and seemed to be having issues with zir hair getting caught. 

“Blessed buttonz...” 

“I’m sorr; what was that?” Gabriel looked away from the paperwork he had carted around in a satchel he begrudgedly carried around, it wrinkled his clothes if he wasn’t careful. However, he knew it was a necessary measure. He didn’t know how long he would be out in the field, the last time made it required to sort of “send out” all pertinent paperwork for him to work on, clear out or up, or address and organize future plans. It made a great portable device to conceal it and there were a lot less stares from mortals when paper magically popped into existence. 

When he noticed zir struggle, the Prince seemed to be in distress and grumbling until ze tried to sit up and grunted, stuck, he tried to figure out how to help. Zir hair seemed to have gotten attached, coming undone in zir relatively calm sleep, and became entangled with his trousers buttons. 

As quick as he could after registering the issue, Gabriel tried to keep zir from pulling zir hair out carelessly. But ze were quicker and more frustrated and still very much half asleep. 

The demon willed it undone and sat up to frown at the offending garment, rubbing at zir tender scalp, making zir loose tormented curls bounce a little, and more hair come loose from zir braid. 

“Buttons. Off!” The Prince grabs for the angel’s pants and started to tug, making Gabriel extremely alarmed. He managed to take hold of zir wrists and wrestled with his diminutive but determined and very strong wife who threw his hands off and tried to tug at his shirt. If it weren’t for the fact that Beelzebub looked like ze were half asleep, eyes barely opened and brows knit, he’d have tried to be a little more forceful. But he didn’t want to accidentally hurt or startle zir. 

“Bee!” 

It was after a few more futile attempts that Beelzebub let go, aggressively rubbed at zir face and then glared down at the buttons that caused zir distress. Ze pointed at them and a low frustrated growl escapes zir throat and the buttons pinged from his clothes all about the room. 

“No more buttons.” Ze ruffled zir hair again and collapsed back on the angel’s stomach, smiling a tiny but satisfied smile. Beelzebub rubbed zir cheek against him and made him seize up and grasp at zir slender arms that wrapped around him, jolting from the stimuli. Zir movements rucked up his shirt exposing his abs and he felt a cold cheek press against him. Gabriel was so very confused - amongst alarm and a few other things - right then but tried to keep Beelzebub’s state of awareness in mind before he did anything about it. He gently ran a hand over zir hair and took a calming breath before… 

“That’s wrong.” Zir voice croaked out as ze lazily pointed to a section of the form in his hand and tapped it. The angel hadn’t realized he had the paper right in zir face. 

“What?” 

“That is incorrect.” Ze somehow growled out a yawn and fell back to sleep with a confused angel looking over his work and finding what ze meant. The awkward moment passed and the Messenger chuckled quietly and began to rub circles on zir back and pull the covers back over zir chilled frame. 

***************************** 

Beelzebub had enough. Ze couldn’t handle such a ridiculous notion so early while the angel looked as though he could tempt a fleet with his ruggedly handsome features and chiseled abdominals. 

Ze had slept, curled up on… 

Ze groaned. 

-I am so fucked! This is so not fair, for so many reaons. What am I going to do?! 

“I still can’t get over that you could correct paperwork half awake.” 

Beelzebub could see out of the corner of zir eye that Gabriel had smiled, eyebrows nearing the top of his head. He, raked his hand through his long silver mane, working his fingers through it, and adjusted himself to sit up a little more but wasn’t as erect as he would be in the presence of another angel. He looked relaxed and the urge to run zir hands through Gabriel’s hair came to the front of zir mind. However, the very thought rattled Beelzebub and ze pushed it out of mind. 

However, Gabriel’s posture and movement jostled the flap of his pants and revealed more of him than ze had need to see. Zir eyes flew to rove over the rest of the room, the ceiling, the fireplace. Anywhere but the angel and his rather pronounced V shaped indents carved into his pelvis and that trail... 

“You were right, of course. But I really shouldn’t be surprised after...well, I know you’re thorough.” 

His smile faltered as he carefully moved some of the hair that had fallen in zir eyes behind zir ear, making zir flinch and Gabriel pulled away. 

“Sorry. Wasn’t thinking.” 

Guilt laced the Archangel’s words, but it also bit into the Prince as ze watched his face transform to regret. 

Ze didn’t feel comfortable with any of it. Not his proximity or comforting aura, not his careful treatment towards zir he exhibited. Not finding his arms around zir when ze woke up, with his hand resting carefully on zir back. Not the memories of the night prior, slowly recovering the moments that he helped zir undress. His hands on zir body, how ze pleaded with him...his breath in zir ear and his hands on zir bare thighs...the conflict ze made him feel after startling. 

It was all too confusing to handle. 

-Ignore it. 

The Prince of Hell grunted as ze stood up way too fast, and away from the reach of the distracting Adonis. Zir insides wanted to revolt, the demon wanted to run, but ze stilled zirself and stretched out. 

So full-bodied and reaching to the skies, making Gabriel’s heart skip a beat looking zir over. Not like the way his heart had been hammering last night, watching zir writhe between his legs, this was a little different. Seeing zir hair glow in the sunlight and zir form pulled taut, fingers splayed out, simply soothed him. For reasons he couldn’t pinpoint and would not think to. 

He cleared his throat and pried his eyes away from zir form. 

“I wanted to get you something to eat, you seem to like that, but you didn’t seem to be letting me go any time soon so…” 

He snapped his fingers and before them, on a small painted table that held a verdant pastoral scene depicted on it, was a bowl of something that was hot and smelled of cinnamon and anise and brown sugar and wonderful things. Ze froze as ze took in the delicious sweet smells and tried not to let zir stomach do the talking. 

“Come on, Bee. Sit. Eat.” He patted the mattress behind zir and gave zir his best pleading smile he could muster. It took a few seconds but ze reluctantly sat. 

“Fix yourself.” 

And ze sat and pulled zir chemise close and tried to stop the shiver. And in a blink his breeches buttons were affixed again, and the angel ran a hand over his shirt to smooth it out and sat up straighter. 

“Let me do your hair?” He asked and waited, not wanting to spook zir again but wishing to run his fingers through it like he used to. His fingers had been itching to do this since he had found out it hadn’t been chopped. 

He didn’t get a chance to do so when he had zir in his arms back on the battlefield, and kept his hands relatively in one area on zir back as ze slept, sometimes grazing it with his fingers. But that wasn’t much, and he wouldn’t without asking. He wouldn’t dare do more than run his hands over zir head while ze slept in his arms. Not then or last night. He remembered the first time ze had reacted poorly and snapped, when ze were left so vulnerable. 

Now that he could ask, he wouldn’t pass up the chance. 

When ze grunted and scrunched up zir face for a few seconds Gabriel felt his heart sink, just a little, thinking ze wouldn’t allow it. However, ze acquiesced. 

Ze shrugged and looked anywhere but him, “Alright, I suppose…” 

His nervous smile softened, and he reached out and started to undo the messy braid. Being able to touch it brought a Peace, reasoning it was because it meant he could take care of zir, do his job that way, for just a little bit longer. Before anything would have to change back again... 

The demon sighed and felt a weight seem to lift off zir. After letting him work on it for a few minutes, even zir headache seemed to ease up a bit. Beelzebub wanted to enjoy the way his fingers slid over zir back before taking up the spoon, wanted to focus on that feeling. Ze wouldn’t dare admit that ze had missed this. 

He had to adjust closer to reach for a section over zir shoulder and found a head on his own before he could get properly behind zir. He stilled.

“…Bella?...” 

“Tired ztill, Love…” And ze were. The diminutive but fierce demon, who had reigned over Hell as regent, hadn’t slept even after the turmoil zir body had gone through. The last time Beelzebub had actually slept, not under magic enforcement or from being knocked unconscious, or a near discorporation, was actually when ze had last shared a room with Gabriel... 

“Ah. I see.” 

“Z’alright to?” 

“Sure.” It may have been a bit awkward of a position but he wasn't going to stop zir from doing so. 

Silence. 

“Gabriel?...” 

“Yeah?” 

“Why didn’t you hurt me last night? You could have.” Ze didn’t look at him, didn’t want to, it was easier to ask him if ze weren’t looking. Beelzebub knew the advantages he had over zir and was perplexed by his actions once more. He could have done anything to zir. Ze had allowed him to touch zir, put zir in positions that gave him power over zir, over zir body. The angel could have taken zir out or held zir captive, could have kept touching zir...ze briefly remembered a rather recent incident with the Archangel Sandalphon with a shiver that Gabriel was too close not to notice. That bastard was no angel in Beelzebub's opinion, but that thought didn't matter. “You could have taken me prisoner; even now. And back in Italy you had me at your Mercy. Why did you not?” 

Gabriel’s hand stilled. 

“Bella...” 

“You’ve had ample opportunity and we’ve made no real vows not to-” 

“I’m not going to take advantage of you like that, not ever. You were HURT in Italy. And I won’t touch you if you don’t want to be touched, not unless I have no other choice to stop you from getting hurt, or-” 

“Or ordered.” 

He sighed in frustration but nodded. “If ordered to fight and smite you. Yes. You and I would both obey orders received. Right now, our goals are one and the same.” He felt as ze fingered the fabric of his sleeve and his hand wanted to take hold of those fidgeting digits. “But your temptations and jobs don’t overlap with mine. Not usually my department.” He wanted to get off this topic, it made him uneasy. “The only thing we share in common is our level of authority and...well, we’re married, sunshine, I won’t cause my wife harm. A wife is someone to be protected, and I will follow that mandate. It’s a Heavenly decree.” 

He wasn’t going to ask zir why ze hadn’t attacked him and got back to task. 

It wasn’t an answer ze knew how to reconcile with to answer or entertain anyway. 

Gabriel was Heaven’s greatest warrior next to Michael and had a large tally of other demon’s both discorporated and truly DEAD attached to his name, he was nearly as strong as Beelzebub and wasn’t shy of carnage. Nor were ze. And yet here he was, undressing zir, holding zir, unbinding zir hair...and ze were letting him. Again. 

“Not even-” 

“Not even. And that should be enough.” His hand finally sought zir left and he tapped his large fingers against zir delicate ones then found zir poesy ring and felt the groove of it on zir finger. There was the pull again, and Gabriel let himself feel that invisible coil tug at him and let out a long frustrated sigh again. It was a familiarity he could rely on. 

And when he felt zir take his hand in zir own, squeezing it like it was some secret between them, he relaxed a little more. But then ze let go. 

“You are so odd.” Ze scoffed, fingering his ring finger that bore no ring. He didn’t see zir make a face as ze mulled a few things through in zir mind. 

-Says the demon with her head on my shoulder. 

“You once called my mad, too. I still don’t think I am.” 

“You definitely are.” Ze drew away and eyed him sternly, no smile to zir lips but there was something in zir eyes. “And I think I’ve gained some insight into the matter. Being your wife, and all that.” 

This only made Gabriel smile and let out a short huff of a chuckle. “Admitting to being my wife so easily, sober, and not trying to smooth talk your way out of something? What’s happened?” He asked as he brought out a silver brush, that had not been in existence seconds before, to zir hair. “Did Hell freeze over and I wasn’t informed?” 

“Hell is cold in most parts, you arze.” Ze rolled zir eyes, clicked zir tongue, and turned away from him and groaned. “This is all ridiculous.” 

“Hey, you were the one saying, ‘for better or worse,’ last night.” He smirked, peering at the demon over zir shoulder, making zir turn red. He saw it reach zir ears, and his smile grew. 

“’Til Death do us part’ is not getting here fast enough.” Ze shook zir head and Gabriel’s effervescent smile dimmed. 

“All in due time, dearest. No need to sharpen your blades meant for me just yet.” 

A silence consumed them, and Gabriel tried to focus on zir hair, separating curls that had tangled as gently as he could. Instead of eating Beelzebub focused on the way his fingers would slip through zir curls and skimmed over zir back, not hurting zir. It made zir wonder... 

“Would you try to make it as painlezz az possible? Once finally on the battlefield, Love?” 

The Damned image of zir flickered before his eyes again, twisted in rage, and Gabriel tried to brush it aside. 

The Messenger sighed, frowning, he didn’t want to have this conversation either, especially not after witnessing zir standing tall in Heaven, ready to bring him down and all of Heaven with him. He was certain he had been victorious over zir then and didn’t want to know how badly he had wounded zir to do it. And he couldn’t tell zir what he had seen. 

“Like you would make it painless for me. I’ve seen you fight, you’re brutal.” He jabbed verbally. He was trying to keep his patience. 

“I am. As are you. I’m not a fool, Gabriel. But if I had the opportunity to grant you that kindness, I would.” Ze said without a second thought, ignoring everything else. Ignoring how crazy ze sounded, making such promises with zir enemy. Hoping...“I know how to make it painless. Quick. An opening. One second. z’all that’s needed.” Ze sighed as ze turned and touched him, looking up in his eyes through zir lashes. Beelzebub carefully placed zir hand right at the spot where the left and right ventricle of the heart meet the that famous organ that could still destroy them when using the right weapons. Two fingers right over the spot. Ze had known for a long time even before zir first kill, almost as though it were second nature knowing how bodies and corporations worked. As though ze had built them up and learned each vessel. 

“So, you wouldn’t fry me with Hellfire?” 

“I wouldn’t let you go like that, Love. Never like that. But with a Heavenly blade, you-” 

“Why are you talking like this?” 

“I’m asking you to. And it’s information that is beneficial...to us both. Think of it as though I’m fulfilling my obligations to you as your wife. Taking care of you.” 

“You take care of me? As my wife?” 

“Don’t be ztupid, Mezzenger. I am indeed your wife, that’z been long eztablizhed.” Ze huffed, still touching him. 

“Right here?” He brought his hand to cover zir own and press zir hand flat against him. Something tugged at the back of one being’s mind while another focused on the feeling of how warm and grounding that hand over zirs felt. It was disturbing to both. 

“Right there.” 

A silence consumed them again and lavender eyes worriedly searched blues that were too Blessed for zir face, knowing ze had stolen them out of Heaven with zirself, and Gabriel sighed. 

“Sure. Fine. Eat, though. Let me take care of you while we live and aren’t trying to kill each other.” 

Ze leaned close to him and bonked his head with zir own, zir face twitched for a split second to allow a quirk to the corners of zir lips, into what could only be one of zir rare small smiles. “That’z my dearest huzband.” And then turned away, taking zir hand with zir, to demonically will the meal to warm up and eat what the Messenger angel had miracled for zir. 

It took Gabriel a few minutes. 

The Messenger of God had to do what would have been like downloading or a reboot after seeing zir so close like that, being able to feel zir breath on his face, the skin of zir forehead against his brow, noses touching. The action had been so oddly gentle and satisfyingly endearing it actually shocked him as though he were a mortal struck with lightening. His lungs had stopped but his heart had taken on a rapid pace and he had that near discorporating feeling again. 

It was entirely unexpected of Beelzebub and he didn’t know if ze even realized that ze had done it. Briefly, he entertained the idea that ze were trying to tempt him into something, using zir wiles on him, but Gabriel came up blank as to what. It was like when they had been in the field of flowers and ze touched his face so carefully. 

Soft. It had been so incredibly soft. 

-Why do you do this to me? 

Not just the smooth skin of zir glamoured face on his. The action itself was like someone had ignited a match and the fizzle of that first strike sparked him to life. His face was on fire as soon as it registered. It took a few solid moments of trying to recollect himself, trying to be silent and not sputter, rubbing his face a few times and swiped his hand through his hair. But as soon as he was good, he had his fingers in Beelzebub’s again, brushing through it gently. 

He looked over zir in profile and wondered for a minute about what made Beelzebub so Hellbent on Death and their final showdown and couldn’t come up with anything. It was going to happen, they didn’t need to think about it, and pain was to be expected. And then this disjointed behavior of softness and semi-contentedness was confusing. He brushed it off trying to think ze were thinking like any demon would, or just being pragmatic, he knew zir to be so, and tried to let it go. 

Ze buzzed a bit as ze ate and seemed to thoroughly enjoy what Gabriel had got them. Ze assumed it wasn’t miracled food but miracled to be there, making Beelzebub wonder where he got it from. He didn’t “sully the temple of his celestial body,” so he couldn’t have made something taste so good. It didn’t seem very angelic to take, so it left zir curious. 

He watched zir a little while longer before there was nothing left to do and braided zir hair with ease. As soon as he was nearly at the bottom, zir hair being below the small of zir back, ze were finished and stretched and fell backwards onto the bed. 

“Think I could fall back to sleep after that. It wazz zzzoo nice and warm.” 

Ze were alternating between buzzing zir s's and not but seemed calm. 

“You really do enjoy Sloth, demon, don’t you?” 

“As the embodiment of Gluttony I enjoy all the vices and Sins…well…all except one, but Asmodeus and his entourage deal enough in it. But Sloth. I do enjoy a bit of Slothfulness, though I don’t get to do it often. Never in Hell.” 

“Let’s not talk about Prince Asmodeus.” He made a face at the thought of the demon. He wouldn’t mind smiting him seven ways to Sunday, and into a permanent Death. 

“That, I can do.” 

Ze moaned, stretching and satisfied and finally turned zir gaze on him, completely sprawled. It was another sight Gabriel had never seen and it made him have to fight his mouth from smiling. He was losing that battle. 

“One day I’ll get you to actually sleep with me. That is a promise, dearest. May even watch YOU so that I can see your mouth doing something else, besides talking, for more than 5 minutes.” A quirk of zir lips told him ze were serious, completely missing how the sentence sounded until it was too late and already out of zir mouth. 

-Fuck…not how I meant that to sound. Fuck! Wait! What am I even going on about?! 

Zir small smirk had dropped into its usual tight line and, eyeing the opposite side of the room, scrunched up zir face in consternation. Gabriel on the other hand was enjoying the display ze were making and that ze were squirming. This was easier to handle than the talk of the End Times, and all plans for it. 

“And what am I supposed to be doing with my mouth, Bella?” The angel asked as he raised an eyebrow. 

-Fucking Heavens and Hells! WHY?!...I regret everything! 

“Shutting it. Sleeping. Exactly in that order.” Zir guard and hackles went up and ze rose to zir sharp elbows, glaring him down. 

“You can’t tempt me, even if you are my wife.” 

“Gabriel, one night of SLEEP iz not going to make you a Sinner. Rest is just az important for keeping up your corporation in peak form.” Ze hated the words that were coming out of zir mouth, couldn’t stop them, even if they were facts. It was sounding as though ze were trying to convince him, though ze had no more intent to do so. Beelzebub tried to be scathing but ze were sounding more panicked and frustrated and a little like ze were whining, instead. 

-How did I fucking end up in this situation? And why the HEAVENS am I making it sound like I’ll ever let this happen?! 

“Can’t make me believe that, you little fiend.” He made a face at zir but it was more playful, thinking zir temptation was a weak attempt. He finished zir braid and tied it off with a new velvet ribbon. This one black. It suited the dress just as well as before, and the other…he would keep…just for now. For safe keeping, that is. The demon didn’t seem to notice so ze wouldn’t miss it. 

Ze flicked his arm, “Believe what you want, but one day I will stop you from being a creepy night watchmen while I actually get REST and good sleep.” 

“You seem rested after last night…” He stopped, seeing that zir eyes still bore the fairly obvious dark circles and zir frown spoke volumes, “Okay. You seem less drained looking…..” 

“I’ll be rested if-“ 

“You were a honeybee. In a field of flowers.” He smirked and ze launched at him, but he was already out of the bed and ze stalked him around the room as he stifled a chuckle. Ze really did look ready to unleash a little Hell on him with zir angry scowl, despite wearing a rather delicate looking shift and having such a soft corporation. “You’re my honeybee wife...” He tried to keep the laugh threatening him away, but not because of zir clear and growing anger, he was trying to hear the quiet buzz building from zir. 

Ze cornered him and Gabriel raised his hands before himself in defense, not even remotely worried and beaming despite the murderous look of his tiny infernal wife. Ze went to strike him but he guffawed out, “Honeybee...no...” 

Suddenly the demon deflated, ze struck out so half-heartedly he caught zir wrist with ease and they stared each other down, lavender eyes full of mirth and steely blue with crumbling resolve. 

Zir entire face clenched up in frustration and then let go, defeated. 

“Someone preserve me…” 

“How about we get you dressed, and we go hunt down our targets instead. Raise Hell on a few Sinners.” He clasped zir hand between both of his as ze rolled zir eyes. He smiled and ze grunted. “Come on, honeybee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I did a little more fluff. Sober fluff and strange comfort. Maybe or may not have made a mess of an angel, definitely made a mess of a demon, but it felt like fun. I feel like Gabriel is no match for Bee when ze are being unintentionally cute. 
> 
> I’m trying not to beat certain things they say over the head too often/hard, so please let me know if anything sounds overused. But I imagine the two have been developing a thing for saying certain things. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed it, this one took a lot out of me because of being in a weird headspace and wanting to get it to flow better with all previous information that has been recently developed (Do I need sleep? Yes. Yes, I do.) 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated, kudos are wonderful to find, and I appreciate it all including con-crit. I always enjoy reading your comments and talking more about things you observe of feel. I’m trying and I want to make this story good, easy to read, and enjoyable, even if not always palatable due to content. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading what I’ve been writing.


	14. Trust, Balance, & Burn...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub has found zirself stuck with an angel in toe and finds zirself in a precarious situation. Ze need to find a way to ditch the adonis but other things come into play.
> 
> Gabriel thinks he's doing what's best but just keeps fumbling when it comes to the Prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m putting my trigger warnings before this so that what’s been going on in my life doesn’t overwhelm it. 
> 
> TW: Anxiety, ptsd, and mentions of past rape. 
> 
> Gabriel is a himbo but he’s trying! Okay? 
> 
> Things have been…pretty Hellish. Moreso than usual but I think with the state of the world, the tension, the unrest, that people are breaking. 
> 
> I’ve been unable to write consistently but have felt it to be soothing for me when I have a solitary moment, so it may take time, but it is happening. The world is unfair, unsafe, and unjust and when I know of it, I can’t just sit there and accept. I have been out here because I cannot tolerate the injustice or the constant fear others have because someone wants to hurt them or think it’s okay to do so, based on the color of their skin. Luckily, I have walked this path on numerous occasions so I know how to keep safe, the “field”, and many groups to work with and some common organizers to contact (even while practicing social distancing. COVID has made it different. Our desperation has made it different. And they’ve decided to use violence without cause despite the vows they’ve taken (even on PEOPLE DOING EVERYDAY THINGS LIKE GETTING GROCERIES! I am not kidding!) and it has been terrifying. 
> 
> I debated even sharing that but I think that people would like to know what's going on here, even if its a bit vague. 
> 
> Please stay safe! Tell your friends that they are loved and deserving and stand up for them when they need it. <3

It didn’t take long for them to settle down and put Beelzebub back together again, clothing-wise. Ze were inpatient and tried to barge past Gabriel out the door, nearly forgetting zir shoes, until the Archangel actually picked zir up, round the waist, and placed zir near them. The demon was so confused and startled by the act that ze could only stare, open mouthed, and shake zir head at him as ze tucked zir feet in properly. 

The urge to chuck zir shoes at him flew by zir in zir shock. 

Ze stormed out of the room with zir little hands clutched into little angry fists, leaving the Archangel to chase after zir. He only just managed to catch up at the threshold of the tavern and get in front of zir, in the actual doorway, to put a stylish bergere hat on zir head. 

It was in a black dye and purple trim, all matching the dress. It had a small gathering of silk flowers in white on it, cornered with a purple bow, to balance the look. The ribbon that was attached was the same purple and Gabriel faceted it to the Prince’s head and tied the bow just right, taking one more second to adjust zir sigil necklace that was tangled with zir black choker. Earning nothing more than twisted lips and stern eyes watching him carefully, scrutinizing him harshly in the light of day. For only a second, before zir whole body jostled in barely controlled frustration. 

Ze groused that neither of them had time to play around like they were, zir scowl becoming more of a moue. It was actually really funny to the angel to see such a powerful being pouting and looking more or less like a doll, particularly when ze could cause such damage and devastation. 

His simple, “Helps keep your face obscured. Our targets won’t be able to identify you easily this way, if they’re one of yours.” got the Prince to allow him to finish without comment. It was smart. To the celestial it was more than just fashionable but sensible. Who knew who was watching and he knew the leader of Hell’s armies was high profile. If it was a lesser Soul of the Damned there was still a chance someone could recognize the diminutive demon, he didn’t want to risk it. 

He didn’t need something like that, and if anything, with Beelzebub always keeping zir aura suppressed from the outside world, made zir appear to be human and the pairing particular. Having zir in his company would make the ones they sought believe he was not after them but focused on a mortal charge. It could be assumed that ze were a human that he needed to guide, nothing about the Prince’s glamoured corporation nor aura said demon. It all served a purpose. 

At least, that is what he thought would work, he wasn't sure why ze still did it when they should be able to cloak each other. 

The Archangel’s own lips quirked as he worked but it wasn’t from frustration or distaste, he just couldn’t help but think the demon’s face simply...cute. Devilishly and deceptively cute, of course. One that could get you to do something simply by making a certain face. Perfect for tempting and lulling someone into a false safety. Much like the pout he would catch zir making, right that second. But of course, he knew not to be swayed by such a thing, he simply did what was appropriate or permissible, every single time ze made it. 

Before Beelzebub could suggest anything – possibly for the angel to stop touching zir and to back off – the Archangel Gabriel took matters into his own hands, literally, by taking the Prince of Hell’s hand in his and pulling zir along the way to the main roads, setting them on their task. They decided to scout out the area and ask the locals if they’d seen any unknown faces, learn where they went. 

On hearing exactly how Gabriel asked if anyone who looked particularly Dead and unseemly had been seen coming into the town, Beelzebub’s face screwed up in disbelief and covered zir face in what could be assumed to be embarrassment. Ze uttered several curses that made the human look the two over nervously and something about, “angels can’t be trusted to keep their heads out of the Heavens.” And maybe something about “arses,” but Gabriel couldn’t be certain through zir mumbles. 

The odd couple went on, one trying to correct the other’s way of asking things of the humans and the other stating there was nothing unTrue about what he was asking, therefore it was “fine.” 

“Pigeon, you can’t go around asking the humans if they’ve seen any dead looking fellows lately. You’ll frighten them into confusion. They need what they consider more realistic descriptors. You’re supposed to be Her Messenger, you should know how to communicate with Her creation.” 

“Bee, they all look alarmingly Dead. They actually are Dead. What could be a more appropriate and clear descriptor.” 

“Fucking Heavens...why am I even trying?” 

“Dear. Language.” 

“Correct yours and I’ll correct mine. Love.” Ze snipped back, all while thinking of exactly when would be a good time to slip from the angel’s presence. Disregarding ze had been drunk and he had taken zir with him, focusing solely on the fact that ze didn’t willingly discorporate zirself to leave him in the morning and instead...Ze had slipped up in allowing him proximity. Beelzebub had even rested against him, willingly! In a conscious moment, laying zir head against him. Ze couldn’t even wrap zir brain around zir behavior that morning, never mind LAST NIGHT. Even the very moment was causing zir body to twist up in annoyance at zir hand in his. 

The Prince of Hell pointedly ignored all of it. If ze even dared think about it zir head would start to hurt. So instead ze focused on finding the right moment. With the way people were milling about ze knew there would be ample opportunity, there was so much to distract. 

But the Prince stopped short as ze thought ze saw a forest green caplet flutter around a corner and zir unnecessary heart pittered out a staccato beat. The fly demon felt dread well up but a compulsion to follow it. To know what exactly ze had seen. To see and verify it was nothing. Ze hadn’t gotten a good look at it and not a single demonic or ethereal aura to pick up, with exception to the angel’s beside zir. The infernal knew ze shouldn’t be afraid of any but one being but...that green cape... 

Beelzebub started for the nearest alleyway, but Gabriel still had hold of zir hand and gave a gentle squeeze to it. The fact that ze squeezed back was the only tell that something was off, zir face had remained remarkably blank. 

Gabriel, knowing too well that Beelzebub would try to evade him and leave him there, had paid extra attention to the shorter being, not wanting his enemy carousing about the place. He hadn’t tightened his grip greatly but didn’t let zir slim hand out of his since leaving the tavern. He wasn’t going to chance it, he’d hold zir hand all day, if he had to. 

“Bella? What is it?” 

“Don’t know...Thought...thought I saw something...” He didn’t like the unease that seeped out through zir voice but zir sudden stillness had already gotten the Archangel to become more alert. Gabriel eyed the same space, sensing nothing, and did a sweep of the rest of their surroundings, keeping ready for an attack. “Keep going. We'll keep monitoring our surroundings.” 

Ze tried to open zir ethereal eye, to best take in the metaphysical world around them but saw nothing with it either. Instead, zir mind brought up different images ze rather never think of again. Memories ze wished had been erased. 

It had not been replayed during the battle, nor at either midwives’, but was related directly to what had played out while attached to Gabriel on the battlefield, making it easy to recall with the sudden appearance of vibrant green silk. 

Beelzebub had been plagued by it for the nights ze rested in Gabriel’s protection after it happened. Swaths of green silk skirting into the edges of zir vision to make zir turn. If ze fought it Beelzebub wouldn’t come to actualize it. But the demon, if anything, was too curious, even if incredibly leery, and ze would always turn to look. Sometimes finding nothing, but almost always ending the dream by coming face to face with the human man who had made a deal with the devil. Who burned with His touch and made a mockery of zir very being. Harmed zir in ways only one other had. 

Ze nearly missed Gabriel pulling zir up to another stall, greet the seller, and drape a lightweight delicate purple cape around zir shoulders. The action startled the Prince, but Gabriel said nothing about it and adjusted the garment accordingly. 

“It suits her.” 

It was a few shades darker than the purple ze already wore, nearly black. The cape had elegant chord trim that edged the garment and spanned all the way around, even the billowy hood. Tasseled cords were available for ties made of braided silk. 

“Most things do, she’s beautiful. But these facts do concern me, when prying eyes are about, that others may spy her. I mean she is easy to spot despite being so short.” The Lord of the Flies rolled zir eyes, feeling irksome over the fact that of all the things Gabriel decided to speak on was fashion and zir appearance. The annoying angel, playing at dotting husband, simply smiled down at zir and pinched zir cheeks, which ze swatted away. It made the demon feel extremely out of place and uncomfortable next to him, if ze let zirself think on it. 

“Prying eyes?” 

“Yes, there have been a few...people who have tried to accost my wife, her family, so I’m hoping to ask around to learn of their whereabouts.” He passed the man some miracled coin, finding the cape satisfactory, both in fashion sense and purpose. Good to keep zir covered, it was beautiful and shorter, so as not to impede the Prince’s movement, and also useful because he caught zir shivering a little. “Have you seen anyone suspicious looking wandering around? Anyone who looks as though...” 

He appeared to consider how best to say his next words, watching Beelzebub’s glower twist on zir face. With a helpful “frightful or choleric,” from his short companion he corrected his verbal trajectory, smiled his best smile and turned it on the merchant, gently squeezing his wife’s arms. 

“Yes, choleric and frightful. They are unseemly looking.” 

The man looked on at the two, but this time gave a more helpful reaction. He had seen something rather off-putting and suspicious. For once, that wasn’t the Archangel asking questions about Dead-looking people. But Beelzebub didn’t hear the response and stopped moving like humans did as ze caught the scent of rosemary and asafoetida and felt the brush of something on the ethereal plain. 

Ze spun to catch sight but only caught a small blip of something demonic and the last seconds of forest green slipping between the houses, far too far away to have been able to physically touch them. It set zir on high alert. 

The petite demon was beginning to feel the tug of a nightmare coming on. 

“Dearest, I think we should go.” Which was fine because Gabriel recovered the information he wanted. Three strange looking beings, moving into the city in the middle of the night; smelling of dirt, smoke, and cat piss, in such colorful words. Gabriel took hold of Beelzebub’s hand and looked zir over, weary of the rigidity that had taken over zir small form. 

Setting a brisk pace, the Prince clutched at the Archangel’s much larger hand and he fell quickly in sync. 

“What did you see?” 

“Nothing. Again. Only something from the corner of my eye.” Ze eyed every corner they passed and glared at nearly every human. “Catching spikes of an infernal energy but it dispels far too quickly. You?” 

“Can’t sense anything.” But he didn’t drop his guard. Despite holding hands with THE Prince of Hell, Gabriel wasn’t stupid enough to disregard something that could be a potential threat, even when he could feel the nervous energy slipping out of zir and into his palm. Under his skin and sending up flares of shivers. “Do you think it’s a lure? Sending out signals like that?” 

“Don’t know. Possibly. It would mean we’re right fucked.” They pushed past a few humans that wouldn’t move out of their way and clenched zir jaw tight. Ze tried not to bite zir lip as the demon processed zir next move. It was difficult to think clearly with Gabriel attached to zir and watching zir like a hawk. And if his constant grip or touching zir was anything to go by, ze knew he wasn’t going to leave zir any time soon – something ze would never admit to being grateful for – but he was like a beacon with zir own aura tucked away. And if they were to get separated, he would become vulnerable...“Do you know how to conceal your aura, angel?” 

Even though angels could mask their physical presence, an aura was an entirely different thing. Remaining invisible, like the Archangel Raguel had done all those years ago, only masked most of their angelic essence, leaving a touch of Heaven. The practice Beelzebub asked of was more like erasing it off a person and bottling it up into the unseen. 

“I’ve been trying to figure out how you do that. I nearly lost you last time...I dislike admitting that you are adept at hiding, however, it is essentially your job.” But before he could finish ze pulled him away from another group and between two houses. Now wasn’t practical but that was the time they had. 

They passed through the nearest alley, eyeing their surroundings before reaching the treeline behind the houses. Beelzebub allowed Gabriel to take the lead and helped zir around crates that were left to rot, as they went in the opposite direction of the phantom spectre. That didn’t stop zir from looking over their surroundings, mentally bidding the fliers in the area to observe and report. Ze felt better noting Gabriel eyeing the housetops and trees, hand still clutching zir’s but his free hand seemed ready to reach for something unseen. 

And zir thoughts went over what was necessary to do next. He didn’t know how at all, it seemed, and that was a major problem for a myriad of reasons. 

Even though this was Gabriel, though he tried to fit everything into his tidy little ‘I will not harm you,’ and ‘I will follow Her rules, and what Heaven deems appropriate, through and through,’ behaviors and projections, this was a dangerous ability to even whisper into him. It could spread through the Heavenly Host like wildfire because it COULD be used against zir and zir people. And despite the fact that ze didn’t actually like any of zir people that’s where zir loyalties did lie. They all Fell together, after all. Ze couldn’t betray their safety by trading these secrets over to the enemy, even if ze happened to be out carousing and married with this particular enemy. 

Ze had to figure something else out or they could be fucked, with him flashing his angelic ass all over the place. “May as well shout, ‘I am the Archangel Fucking Gabriel, be not afraid.’” ze grumbled, quietly, under zir breath. 

“Bee, please, there’s no time for jesting.” 

“I may know another way but...you will have to trust me.” Ze held a hand up to him, fingers splayed. “Can you do that, Archangel?” 

He looked at zir trying to hide his incredulity at such a question, “Are you really asking me such a question after all our time together? Our nights together, Prince Beelzebub?” 

And ze let out a strangled “oof” and tried to contain the rest of zir discomfort, scrunching up zir cherubic face. 

-Don’t ever, ever, ever, say that again, Gabriel. For what little is left of my sanity’s sake. Why is he like this?! 

Ze could only let out a sigh and opened zir eyes, after stealing zirself for the Herculean feat ze were about to engage in – dealing with angelic dumbass, aside. “I need you to. Fully. You will have to, essentially, give me control over your celestial state to do this. And I will need to do something extremely dangerous to you in order to help you, but I can NOT tell you how it works beyond that.” 

Ze captivated him with zir stern glare, trying to impart the graveness of the situation. “I cannot promise you that I will do you no harm, Gabriel, because I will be hurting you. Do you understand?” 

The Leader of Heaven’s armies had understood their situation before zir clear words, despite what many believed of him, Gabriel understood a great deal more. But the dire warning, zir nervousness hidden in blue eyes, the fact that ze said ze couldn’t prompt him how to do it, had the angel reassess their situation. 

Beelzebub was alarmed by something. He could not only see it in zir eyes but felt it in zir grip, too. 

And he understood why ze were being reticent on how to do this, of course, he did. Concealing energy from the opposition was too big of a weapon to teach. If ze taught him it would be seen as treasonous. And where else was there to Fall from Grace in Hell? 

And in the end, he knew he was in zir hands, and that was indeed a dangerous place to be. He really did know this. 

Beelzebub had the chance to tear out his throat and do more than discorporate him, on numerous occasions. He knew this the very first time ze struck out at him, but he knew he was safe with zir, even though he had no reason to. Somehow the Archangel made himself taller; he did trust the Prince, when he knew he really should not, considering who they both really were, for whatever ineffable reason he couldn’t put his finger on, he simply did. 

“What else will it do to me, aside from hide my aura?” 

This the demon could handle. Questioning. And it was warranted. It hurt like a son of a bitch, in Beelzebub’s opinion but ze knew it would do no more than that, not unless Beelzebub wanted to hurt him. However, ze wouldn’t. And ze reasoned ze couldn’t afford to weaken Gabriel, not when the smell of rosemary and flashes of green silk was in the air... 

Ze thought about the first time zir King had laid hands on zir to show zir a “fun and interesting new trick.” Playfully showing off how He seemed completely devoid of His power, citing it was wonderful to keep one “protected from the detection from those who would wish to harm me. It could be used for you too, my precious butterfly.” He had smiled and held out His hand to zir and ze took only a moment to decide ze needed to know. Beelzebub had still wanted power to wield at that point. 

Maybe Lucifer knew then that ze had intended to try and fight Him. Maybe knew ze had Hoped beyond Hope to kill Him – possibly being secretly amused by the notion – but ze would never know. 

He put His warm hand on zir chest, fingers splayed out wide, and used His power to shove zir energy into what felt like a tiny little box that didn’t fit. It had felt like fire had burned through zir chest and Beelzebub found zirself on zir knees, feeling as though zir back was going to break. Feeling as though breathing was the most important thing to zir continued existence, when it was a superfluous function. He assaulted zir senses on the ethereal level that caused physical aberrations to zir form when ze tried to fight the pain, touch His scorching aura. And Lucifer dug Himself into zir when He taught and revealed this new thing. 

However, ze did not yield. Beelzebub would not yield. 

And He didn’t show Mercy. 

The Father of Lies pushed with a metaphysical force that Beelzebub had yet to understand into zir and made zir feel like ze were set alight all over again. Zir King was never gentle as He did it, Lucifer pushed and commanded, forced, even in spirit. It left zir feeling battered. He did this to zir again. And again. And again. Never once did ze let him back off when He offered to teach it. Sometimes it left zir curled up on the cold rock floors of Hell, in one of the antichambers, spinning in and out of consciousness and finding Him leering over zir, with that off-putting smile. 

After a few too many tries in one night, as zir body had become so exhausted Beelzebub could hardly move, hardly breathe, Lucifer fucked zir and called in zir little ear how ze were his “little glutton.” And laughed far too jovially and the small demon accepted the terms of learning power; burying and ignoring the feelings, ignoring that ze should revel in His attentions and felt anything but...But in the end, zir struggles yielded results and Beelzebub figured out how to wrap it all up into that little box. 

And as each time He pushed zir to learn, zir King came to learn He liked those moments of brutality and expanded His force on zir. 

***************** 

Ze weren’t certain, but figuring they were from the same stock, it wouldn’t be too different. Thinking over that moment now, ze quickly organized what would make it easier on the angel and quick and less daunting. Beelzebub knew the mechanics of it now, so there would be no harm dealt. 

“You will experience burning, what may feel like an assault on your celestial state. But if you follow my aura, closely, it will be easier for me to guide you through it. Nothing else will be affected. The less you fight me or try to figure it out, the less it will hurt.” Ze remained stoic and squaring zir shoulders but Gabriel could see the bit of concern reflected in Beelzebub’s eyes. 

“How long will it last?” 

“Until either you lose control of it or release it.” Ze tried to evaluate his celestial aura, disregarding what ze knew of the Archangel Gabriel in name, and figured he could hold out a week or so before crashing. “You will feel as though your essence will try to burst from your corporation. It will hurt. I do not suggest holding out.” 

“I’ll follow your lead.” He took hold of zir hand and was extremely surprised when ze placed his on the center of zir chest, fingers and palm over the buttons and zir cold sigil necklace, and his long fingers touching zir bosom. Zir other placed on his, just over his silk kerchief. He felt his blood rush into his face but astutely ignored it, eyes glued to zir blues and taking a deep breath when ze told him to. Gabriel refused to look anywhere else but zir face and ignored how...soft the skin beneath his fingers felt. And the more he looked into zir eyes the more he felt like the world was tilting forward, for some reason. 

Ze almost sounded like ze crooned to him to listen to the sound of zir voice, feel zir aura, but his mind was fuzzy and he shivered at zir words. 

And in the next moment, he crashed to his knees the instance he felt a part of Beelzebub’s aura unleash against his, his little Love’s voice pierced through his head in a scream. He heard Beelzebub’s voice, but it felt like it was in his head, and he followed it as Beelzebub’s essence enveloped him. It was shockingly cold, intense and vibrated with pain. It was far different than that of an angel’s essence. He could feel zir ethereal being was tortured and twisted, feeling like it was knotting up within that small corporation and bleeding out of shape. It was terrifying and he recoiled from it. And when he felt his corporation fall against Beelzebub’s ze held him up. 

-Ease. Remember what I said; don’t fight me, Messenger. 

And it felt like the Prince ran a sparking trail of fire and ice over him and led his aura deeper within. He let it shrink with zirs around him and felt his lungs draw deep breaths. And very suddenly, Gabriel could feel Beelzebub’s essence throb with the pain that was inflicted on the demon’s essence as ze wound it up. But he felt like his essence was falling in tandem. He felt as though something was tucked away into his chest cavity, carving himself up to fit, under Beelzebub’s dainty fingers and the icy fire stopped and zir hand was gone from him. 

“You’re okay. I’ve got you, Love. Let your corporation breath.” And ze were holding him against zir, rubbing his back, suddenly running zir fingers through his silky hair, making the bow he had carefully tied come undone. The angel found himself on his knees before zir again, hunched against zir, head at zir chest and hands clutched onto zir, capes and fabrics bunched between his fingers. 

“That was terrible!” 

Ze weren’t going to mock him for it, just give him one of zir half-bored faces, ze didn’t know how else to deal with it, but there was an undercurrent of sympathy in zir eyes. Ze really hated how it felt when ze learned, but not much in Hell was pleasant and this was the only viable option. 

“You do this to yourself?!” 

“Hush. Stop thinking about it and just breath. It’s necessary, right now.” 

It took him a few minutes but ze let Gabriel have them, just a few. His lungs had difficulties slowing and his fingers had to relax from digging into zir but all ze did was continue to run zir fingers through his hair and on his back. Ze wanted to stomp zir feet and yell at zirself, this was too gentle, but ze ignored it and allowed the Archangel to gain a little more of his bearings. 

Once he took one huge shuddering breath, his fingers finally relaxed and his head still pressed against zir, Beelzebub decided it was enough. 

“Does it always have to be like that?” 

“I don’t know any other way. Now, get up. We haven’t the time for this.” And ze pulled him to his feet with ease. His knees wobbled and they went crashing against the wall, making Beelzebub growl out an angry, “Mezzenger!” 

“Sorry!” 

He still had an arm wrapped around zir thin frame and they stilled. Zir hat fell off zir head, dangling from its ribbons at zir throat, zir new cape bunched up in his arms, and zir fierce little hands grasped onto his jacket and his kerchief. It was then that Gabriel registered how tiny ze felt against him. Delicate. One hand flat on zir thin back, the other on the wall behind zir to ensure he didn’t crush zir. At least the Prince wasn’t trying to tear him apart or bleeding all over the place. Chest to chest. Shocked gem-like lavenders looked down into tumultuous Heavenly blues. 

The Demon Prince look was flipping between indignant anger and fear and that Damning flutter, breath struggling. 

The petite infernal in his arms breathing was nearly just as ragged as Gabriel’s. He could feel zir ribs expand and contrast in his embrace. 

“For fuck’z zzake, pigeon-“ 

“Sorry. You okay?” 

“Let me go.” 

“Sure thing, dearest.” And he righted them both and let go of the Prince who tugged at zir gown’s bodice in frustration, glaring the angel down. A second more and ze were turning back to the entrance of the alleyway. 

-Stupid. Stupid angel. Stupid blessed stays. Stupid me. Stupid fucking everything. 

“Are you o-“ 

“Let’s go.” Ze held out zir hand to him, palm up, not looking. Frustrated with zirself. Waiting for him. 

Gabriel didn’t wait to be asked again and went to zir side, casting out a minor miracle to clean their clothes; as soon as it registered that the knees of his breeches were unsightly, he huffed and dealt with them. He raised his eyebrows and held out both hands to his companion in silent request. Beelzebub didn’t know what he wanted and looked him over sternly as he moved in to adjust zir cape to smooth out the wrinkles, then undid zir bergere hat’s ribbon and redid it, just as careful as before. He did all that without touching a single hair on zir head and didn’t touch zir at all til he took zir hand in his. 

The demon had no idea how all THAT could have affected zir at all. Again. This time he had even less contact with zir and that left zir even more confused. And yet, ze were feeling strangely warm. Zir face was warm. Ze swallowed it all down and cleared zir throat, furrowing zir brow and pulled zir stupid husband along. 

They followed the directions to where the clothing merchant said he lived, where he had seen the strange beings pass, on their way out of town. “Not by road but into the darkness itself. And the smell…” All indicators pointed to Damnation. It also suggested that they left, both knowing that the midwife’s had to have been the target, neither telling what they knew. 

They actually passed that Damned house on the way over and Gabriel didn’t get to feel the way Beelzebub’s grip tightened on his hand, he was too busy doing the same. And kept his eyes directed away from the house with the pretty flower garden, with a flower named for an Angel’s Trumpet. 

Regardless of feeling weirdly tapped into Beelzebub’s energy, he hadn’t expected to feel what ze had revealed in touching his. It was unlike what he had assumed zir to feel like, but on reflecting it made sense. Beelzebub was one in Damnation, he just never believed the hearsay that the Fallen continued to writhe in pain, but the demon beside him gave him an eye-opening Revelation. And that pain felt near-crippling to him, and then feeling the addition of folding zir essence, following it and feeling how it compressed and shaped his Divine Essence, hurting him as ze said, it baffled him. He couldn’t help looking over at zir mostly placid features, zir grim pout the only thing out of place for what appeared to be a human and wonder how ze managed. 

But he didn’t delve on it for too long. They were out and had to keep aware of more than just his infernal counterpart. Otherwise, he couldn’t do his job and remain vigilant. His constant attention was one of the reasons he had never been discorporated, to date, and he would feel a fool if he faltered; especially if he ended up that way in Beelzebub’s presence. It would be more than embarrassing. 

“Who else knows how to do that.” 

“Not many that I know of. Not something to share. But those that I’m aware of are myself, a very few of the Dark Council...and my King...” 

That small, but obvious fact abruptly enraged Gabriel. He didn’t realize how angry he would be to hear mention of Lucifer, but Gabriel felt Wrath unfurl from his very being. The very being that he had Loved unconditionally, who tore down half of Heaven, who corrupted the being beside him into a frightened follower that claimed ze would happily grovel at His feet, the one who took her from him... 

“What the Heavenz are you doing?!” Ze jerked away and zir stoic features broke and revealed shock and hurt. 

“What happened?!” Everything else dropped at the appalled sound of zir voice. The Wrath, the thoughts of Lucifer and her vanished, and he tried to take hold of zir, but ze reared back. 

“You’re burning me!” And ze ripped zir hands from his grip and the two stood staring the other down. 

Something dropped in the pit of his stomach as he saw the sizzle coming from that small hand Beelzebub clutched at. A small curse bit out from between zir small clenched lip but Beelzebub clenched it tight and let the dark pus spatter the dirt beneath zir feet. The angel looked down at his own hands, covered in zir filth and he felt his corporation pale. 

“Bee, I’m sorry. Let me fix it.” 

“Forget it.” But he still tried to take hold of zir wrists, “No!” 

He drew back as though slapped, the look in zir eyes was alarming. “…I didn’t mean to...” 

Gabriel’s face scrunched up and he could not stop himself from rubbing at his face in worry and frustration. Frustration at only himself. He took a breath and held his hands up and carefully got closer to the one he had not intended to harm. “Please. Bella. I swear on-” 

“I don’t need your zwearz or promizez.” 

“I Truly didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

“Doezn’t matter. Thiz iz how it’z zupposed to be. It meanz nothing between uz, Mezzen-“ 

“Stop these thoughts. Maybe to another angel or demon, but that’s-Damn it, Bee, I swore to you and have made promises I have always intended to keep. I would never hurt you like this. Not now. It was an accident.” He carefully moved into zir space and held his hands out to zir, not touching. “Let me heal your wound. You can’t go running around like this. Please.” 

Ze huffed, eyes fluttering shut in anger and frustration, and, after what felt both too long and too short a moment, held zir hand out to him. After fighting everything in zir to leave him there, ze had read him. This angel could sense when someone was lying but for most demons that was a skill that came to them like breathing to a human. Gabriel believed he hadn’t meant to hurt zir, that much Beelzebub could tell was True. It was annoying how much he seemed to wish to dispel the notion, it still confused zir. 

Ze couldn’t stop the thought that he should want to hurt zir, regardless as to what they paraded around as to roam free in zir head. That was even written in The Great Plan. 

Gabriel looked over what he had done, inspected the burn, saw how it bore the indentation of his own hand on zirs. Each mark of his fingers had made small valleys around zir delicate fingers, his thumb had its own solitary burn across zir flesh. 

It sickened him. 

Too closely, it reminded him of the one on zir back and it made his blood run cold. He briefly worried that this one wouldn’t be able to be repaired either, marking zir until ze discorporated as ze said. 

Or worse. 

Til The End. 

As gentle as he could, he took zir damaged hand in his own and covered it. People passing were already watching their strange display and the demon felt too exposed. Ze glared up at him under the brim of zir hat and held zir breath, waiting. Expecting him to decide to turn. But Beelzebub lost focus when ze felt that familiar little flick of Damnation by the house that cornered another major street. It was just out of the corner of zir eye, behind the angel and over his shoulder. It made zir freeze, zir stomach lurch, as ze watched silk the color of the forest flicker in a gust of wind that kicked up across the town, brief and only slight enough to ruffle it. The demon wasn’t paying attention to the angel anymore. 

What felt like a soothing spool of warm essence wrapped itself around zir enclosed hand, still in Gabriel’s, and then felt the brush of his lips upon zir now unblemished skin, startling zir and drawing zir widening eyes away from the cape in the distance and focusing on his soft amethyst ones, searching those instead. 

That look to zir blue eyes, refocusing on Gabriel, told him that something was very wrong, and he had made another drastic misstep. 

Beelzebub’s lungs didn’t know how to function between the anxiety from the moment before and the jarring gentle brush of lips, no longer knowing how to react. Zir body couldn’t react. Locked up. Ze couldn’t accept it. 

“Bella?” 

“Ztop.” And the Prince took one pace away from him, just out of his reach. 

He had been touching zir too much, ze had let him, but it was now too much; Beelzebub didn’t know how to handle it. And it kept playing through zir head that Gabriel shouldn’t do that with zir. Ze shouldn’t have let him hold on to zir. Shouldn’t have held on to him. Not with the flares of demonic energy of Hell and the forest green silk waving in the wind. Not at all... 

Ze felt bare and abraded. 

“Bee...” The Archangel didn’t invade zir space, he kept his place and held out a hand to zir. He had gone surprisingly still. “I’m sorry. I’m not going to hurt you and I don’t want to leave without you. We have work to do and I would rather we do that together. Is that alright?” 

Ze took a deep breath once ze were able to command zir corporation’s lungs back in working order and he watched zir calculate, no longer focused on him fully, eyes roaming the space between them. 

The Prince of Hell threw a look back towards where ze had seen green and then back at the angel, before zir, then all around. The crowd was staring at them and the Prince knew that if another was watching, those that pry, it would be dangerous to draw any more attention to them. One more look into Gabriel’s purple eyes and ze knew... 

-He promised. Not now. And he...he could have at any point prior. 

Zir decision was made. For now. “We need to go, Love.” 

The mess had been made but the Demon Prince still went to him, almost invading the angel’s personal space. Beelzebub guardedly took his hand back and started back down the road, towards where last ze saw the cape. The tenuous grip Beelzebub had on him was laced with a frenetic energy but zir face slipped back into what Gabriel felt was defined absence, cutting everything off, zir breathing normal. However, zir eyes that avoided his was what would reveal far more. 

Gabriel had miracled away the blood and healed zir hand, but he couldn’t shake that it wasn’t enough. 

Whether he had been too focused or not, he would never know for certain. He still hadn’t sensed the remnants of the demonic presence flaring up, he was too worried about Beelzebub’s reactions and the pain he hadn’t meant to inflict. He didn’t see the verdant silk taunting the Demon Prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep fighting with this chapter and I had debated scrapping it entirely, but I liked how it was flowing. I just didn’t like how I was ending it, at first, and didn’t think that the next chapter was going to be one of THE BIG ONES that I’ve had written and been nervously excited about. It’s just how it played out though. Another interesting thing was how Beelzebub was reacting (which partially made sense as someone who’s experiencing anxiety and over-stimulation would know. I think ze gives Gabriel a lot of allowances ze wouldn’t anyone else.) and it culminated in zir deciding to stay. 
> 
> I’ll share more of why in the next chapter notes but I’m excited and didn’t want to address it in a vague way. 
> 
> As always questions, comments, concerns, and con-crit is ALWAYS appreciated! It really encourages me when I see people dig into the story and share what they like or observe or want to point out. It is also brings me a bit of light when I see it. Thank you, always, for making the time for me! <3 
> 
> Be safe everyone! <3


	15. When Punishment Goes To The Fool Caught In The Middle Of The Fire...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel wrestles with his actions and learns a little more about what his previous ones cost his small infernal wife.
> 
> Beelzebub is forced to acknowledge certain traumas ze had never meant to let see the light of day, as well as figure out how to break certain Truths to Gabriel. All while trying to NOT run away like a coward or let it affect zir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: HIGH anxiety issues (I swear I don’t even know how Bee is a functioning member of Hell), ptsd, dissociative moments, unaddressed trauma getting bare minimum attention. And as always, LET ME KNOW IF I MISS SOMETHING. These are not surprizes anyone needs. 
> 
> I am so sorry this took so much time! I actually had something else written and moved it behind this chapter because I needed something prior so it wasn’t just BOOM the next thing (because that one is actually pretty huge an event and felt too big) and needed actions to bring them to that point. It had to be done and I tried very hard to not draw it out, as we all know I’m verbose. It took a while because of a few things, still being out there still trying. I got injured again too so I’m kind of stuck and working from home on things. Happy Juneteenth! I’m reading and learning and addressing things. So yeah...lately has been a wild ride.

They had followed the path to the edge of the town, Beelzebub completely on edge zirself. Waiting. For something ze weren’t even sure of but waiting. The Prince was paranoid and felt the brewings of something bad in the pit of zir stomach. However, whatever it was that Beelzebub was chasing, ze were certain it was going to remain beckoning zir onward, ze had no choice but to follow. By the time the two reached the outer limits of the town it felt like whoever it was had already slipped through the forest and ended in beyond it. 

Beckoning. 

Taunting. 

The angel arranged for a ride with someone leaving by carriage, leaving zir for only a second, somehow certain ze wouldn’t leave this time. 

Gabriel had kept on the lookout but found nothing, raising his heckles. He didn’t like the uncertainty, how some unseen spectre seemed to hound Beelzebub while he sensed nothing. And, though ze were a demon and quite capable of lying to meet ends, he just couldn’t believe that was the case in the situation. Ze were losing focus on everything else around zir and becoming skittish. 

The Archangel could not dismiss who ze had mentioned could do the same as zir and was highly concerned. It made things worse, thinking over the list of known potential threats. That paired with the fact that Beelzebub hadn’t ditched him, as he had assumed ze would, made him nervous. He knew, zir desire to go would never be quelled by something trivial. 

The Archangel was equally surprised by how easily ze followed him and alarmed him by how quietly ze did so, allowing him to lead. And without any resistance, he was able to coax the demon into the coach – a rather refined one, made of dark stained wood, and was led by four horses – to sit with the family that were all smiles at their new travel companions. Ze ignored them and Beelzebub kept zir eyes on the road with zir hand in Gabriel’s. 

It was all extremely disconcerting. 

Especially after earlier. He didn’t know what had possessed him to kiss zir hand, he just did it. Not to get a reaction, not to startle zir, but assuming it would ease zir upset somehow. He didn’t know why he thought that, and after the night before, having zir in his lap and pliant, allowing his lips to press against the skin of zir wrist and hand, he thought it would be acceptable. 

Apparently not. 

He hadn’t meant to cause zir further distress. 

He would never had thought he’d care about causing a demon distress, nor wish to kiss one – the very thought churning his stomach when thinking of all others, and even a few angels – but Beelzebub felt...he just had to keep saying it was to strengthen interdepartmental allyships with his wife and infernal counterpart. Honestly, if you asked him, he thought that it would lead to zir sighing again, like ze had the night before. 

When ze physically recoiled and zir eyes reflected zir fear and uncertainty and confusion, the angel felt upset and confusion at himself. And he couldn’t fathom how he had read Beelzebub’s previous comfort with him so wrongly. 

Seeing zir, still uncertain, peering out of the coach window, and looking so anxious did not help. 

He couldn’t even try to distract zir with questions about what he experienced as ze had morphed his aura and essence up, not with humans around. But ze had said that it didn’t seem like a good idea to use ethereal magics when trying to track, had to do things manually. 

It gave him time to think how ze worked his aura over, trying to recall the feeling of the act...setting him through a loop. 

It felt entirely too intimate and revealing. 

He was curious how Beelzebub felt about such a thing after ze revealed zir own aura to him, all but encapsulating him with zir’s. Feeling the pain radiating throughout zir occult body. It was difficult to think anything else but how he couldn’t help but want to wrap zir up in his arms and just go back to the tavern lodgings, where no one could see them, and just stay there. Let zir lay in the blankets and sleep away til Armageddon, because he couldn’t imagine having his very essence twisted as the Prince’s was forever. How Beelzebub could actually function seemed like an actual miracle at work to the angel. 

All he could think to do was let zir take the lead with what comfort ze were willing to take from him, even if Gabriel wished he could do more. He knew how he drew comfort from those he was familiar with, he wasn’t oblivious to it...not always. 

As the day progressed, and the road seemed to go on forever, and the Prince only seemed to keep focus on the road, Gabriel leaned over and whispered in zir ear as he fussed with zir cape. “Bee, if you want, you can rest.” 

“Can’t.” Ze minced out, pout in full force and eyes squinting every now and then, focused out the window. “Too much going on.” 

“I promise I will alert you if I sense anything wrong.” 

“You don’t even know what you’d be looking for.” 

“What are you seeing then?” 

But ze clamped zir mouth shut, shook zir head, and squeezed his hand, never once looking at him. “I’m not sure, angel. Don’t ask anymore, unless you sense something too.” 

“Alright, do what you need to do, for now. I’m right here.” 

“Zt...stop.” 

And that was that until they made it to the next town. An angel’s hand being held in a tight grip by a demon who – despite being exceedingly frustrated with touch – wouldn't let go of said angel’s hand. Beelzebub wouldn’t stop looking out the window, nor would ze speak. Ze just sat there, almost a statue had Gabriel not been able to sense a twitch every now and then. He kept having to reassure the humans that all was well and that his wife was just the quiet sort, whenever spoken to directly. 

But aside from that, he kept vigilant, keeping eyes out, sending up a little prayer to Sandalphon on the observation deck to scope out any flare up anomalies, and waited. There wasn’t much else to do til he was helping the silent Prince down from the carriage. 

The instance Beelzebub touched the ground ze were already trying to go off in one direction, ignoring all else. It was Gabriel who took charge and dragged zir into the shadows of the nearest cropping of trees, eyes roving the area. 

Ze were so wound up, despite zir nearly blank face, that ze resisted and strained until the celestial put zir back to the tree and took a moment to get zir to look him in the eyes. 

“What are you doing?” 

“You need to tell me what’s going on. I can’t help if you don’t let me.” 

“I told you, I don’t kn-” 

“Bee, stop lying.” The Archangel’s words were sharp but not quite a command. Beelzebub nearly flinched as he leaned closer, not over zir, and he waved their joined hands in the air before zir...ze still hadn’t let go. 

On realizing this ze tried to wretch zir hand free, angry at zirself for clinging to him, but he held on and only made Beelzebub collide with him, instead. Gabriel took hold of zir shoulders and gently squeezed zir arms but Beelzebub clutched at his, dimpling his great coat, to keep him from drawing zir any closer.

“Stop. Whatever nonsense is going on in that head of yours needs to stop. We’re here to do a job and I need you to share what you THINK you know. Tell me what have you been seeing?” 

For a full minute ze remained utterly still. 

If ze verbalized anything about what ze suspected, while not knowing if their shrouded fiend was among the rebels or Damned, ze feared Gabriel would think ze were wasting time or trying to actively fool him. Ze weren’t supposed to be affected still – or in zir opinion, at all – but that man in green had been the only other one to harm zir in such a way, with no real repercussions; despite what an intrusive angel had believed. But his potential presence still caused zir immense distress. 

That, and Beelzebub realized what it could mean for the two on Gabriel learning that his entire work led to sinners were potential recruitment for the opposition...ze were certain their current interaction could lead to blows. Ze weren’t fooled by a title and a promise made by a fool who tried to be affible. 

“I know whatever it is has you completely sca-” 

“Ztop!” Ze stood taller, defiant, despite everything else, and tried to break free but he only drew zir closer and braced zir back against the tree. Ze suddenly felt extremely unnerved by his nearness, despite keeping zir features schooled, strict; however, the angel could sense it by more than just how zir breathing hitched and he drew back, just a fraction. 

“Okay...Bee, you need to let me know what I need to look for, what I need to tune in to. Did you do anything else when you did away with my aura?” 

Ze shook zir head and found zir breathing had started again, a little too loud so ze stopped zir lungs from functioning. “I did nothing else, Archangel. Are you accusing me of something?” 

“I’m not. But you need to supply me with more to work with.” 

“We don’t have time for thiz, pigeon!” 

“You’re right. We don’t. You’re the one holding out and wasting time, sunshine. Now tell me.” 

He was right, regardless of what zir current predicament was, and ze were furious. At him. At zirself. And now, Beelzebub didn’t know how to articulate it carefully. Admitting to zir personal concern over something like this was revealing a weakness, one ze didn’t even want Gabriel to know. It didn’t help that it he would know ze had fooled him. Letting him know was...Beelzebub just couldn’t move break from the fear of any of it. 

But ze kept remembering patient soft hands that soothed, and his fingers through zir hair, that did not harm zir when he could have, after he found zir in robes that mimicked Heaven’s after that man had… 

“There iz a being, all drezzed in greenz of the forezt. I can’t do more than zee him for a zecond before he and hiz aura dizappear again.” 

“You know him.” It wasn’t a question and the angel’s started to feel his pulse quicken as he thought over the very short list he knew of who could possibly make Beelzebub react in such a way. That, and he was able to vividly recall the verdant clothes of a very disgusting man, who held the Prince down below him. It’s not as though he would have needed that Hell-crafted vision to remember the monstrous man. 

“Giordano?...” 

And when ze gave a short nod it only served to make the angel’s distaste worsen. His jaw clenched. The Archangel had wanted to ensure the demon before him would never have to face this man again, not in this way, but conflictedly grateful to know Beelzebub wasn’t alone this time. “We’ll take every precaution; he’ll be back in his circle of Hell soon.” 

“Gabriel...he’z not one of the Damned. Not anymore.” Ze admitted, lips tightening, ready for things to take that inevitable turn. Beelzebub remembered Luca’s transformation all too clearly. It was something a Prince was expected to attend when someone was turned. But after, Beelzebub had kept as distant as possible when the former Damned soul walked the halls of Hell, keeping zir features schooled and blank around him, just as ze did with others. 

“He’s like what Brontis wants to be?” This news definitely was a surprise to the Archangel, and ze felt his hands on zir start to get warmer. The angel looked over the demon before him in disbelief, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“How? Why? What iz there to do with that information?” Ze snapped. “And it’z not az though I could zeek you out, iz it?” 

“Bee. Kind of important. He’s dangerous and vile.” 

“Zuch foolizh thoughtz – Luca waz a perfect fit for my people. And why’z it matter to you?” Ze scoffed, getting louder, trying to keep control of zir warring emotions. 

-I should have left him in the last town! The fuck am I going to do now?! 

“He hurt you! He deserved Retribution. Why isn’t he be punished for harming a Prince of Hell?!” 

“Zuch a feat will alwayz be rewarded. The bigger the monzter the better, Archangel, and he laid one zuch as me low, before you punizhed him.” Ze clipped out with a finality and zir wide eyes shimmered but ze managed to hold all else back. The Lord of the Flies had been certain this would be that man’s fate. Even before he was killed. Ze had to focus on one issue not more. Even if Gabriel and his fellow wankwings hadn’t intervened. Ze knew it shouldn’t affect zir so. 

He stared zir down incredulously, but took a deep breath to stop his anger, once again, concerned of what he could easily do if he wasn’t careful. The angel had already burned zir once and knew that forgiveness had not come easy. He knew zir trust was tenuous, but he valued it. But he couldn’t let zir go as he was certain ze’d run off now, even though Beelzebub looked... 

“Bee...I’m sorry...” 

“What could you pozzibly be zorry for, Mezzenger?” 

“You were stuck at an extreme disadvantage. We didn’t properly address all terms of our previous arrangement and I left you with that burden. I wish you had told me.” He sighed in frustration. 

“Gabriel, we’ve had no contact zinze Italy...We both went back to our zidez. Your’z, in Heaven, and mine, in Hell. He was Hell’z...Hell’s claim and, unfortunately, became one with it. He was Damned for his actions long before what he did to me and was wicked enough to become what he is now.” 

Despite it being True ze felt like ze were lying. 

Beelzebub could have shared the Truth of the matter in that field, ze were certain of how the angel would have reacted after he essentially handed Luca Giordano over to the enemy. Ze had fooled him. And the Demon Prince wasn’t supposed to give away secrets. 

“But you’re the one suffering the consequences. Not him.” He let out another frustrated sigh and tried not to throw a prayer for guidance to the Heavens. “Look, if he’s a demon, I have every authority to deal with him. No matter what he’s doing Earthside.” 

He could feel Beelzebub go through turmoil – he had felt it all. A near imperceptible tremor wracked zir, zir body seemed to get colder, and he watched as zir eyes twitched. And his last statement seemed to completely dumbfound the demon, making zir head shake and ze choked back a scoff of incredulity of zir own. It took zir a moment to recover. 

“What’s he like now?” 

“I don’t know what abilities he has, how he’s retained thizz zkill. Fucking Heavenz, angel, I don’t even know if it iz indeed him. It just feelz-feels too similar..and that blezzed green cape...” 

Zir jaw clenched and zir eyelids followed as ze tried to remain unmoving. 

“Bee-” 

“He iz favored for hiz deedz and zkillz. He iz favored by-I’ve been ordered never to touch him.” 

When ze final opened zir eyes, revealing zir cold Heavenly blues, seeing all the frustration, the anger, the fear, Gabriel felt compelled to wrap zir in his arms. He couldn’t help it being very tactile and drew comfort from these mannerisms but managed to fight the urge. Beelzebub tolerated his touch and he would let zir take the lead on that. Mostly. 

The Archangel watched as ze fought zir emotions and clenched zir eyes shut again, zir nearly permanent grimace in place. He didn’t need to know more and believed that Beelzebub had been trapped, for more than zir own Damnation. 

“Well, I can see how that could make things difficult for you. But you have a loophole you can take advantage of, right now; that order never included me.” He was still angry, but he kept it in check, knowing he could hurt the demon who he held by the shoulders if he didn’t. When the demon eyes snapped back on him and finally locked with his, Gabriel smiled and said, “Who’s to condemn or stop me for a little smiting of a wayward demon. I mean, it is my Heaven-sent job.” 

He gently touched zir cheek and his eyes darkened at zir twitch, understanding why ze were behaving as ze did. And he watched as zir eyes fluttered and something flipped in Beelzebub’s eyes, to something even darker. 

“It was like this, right before. During the storm that day, I saw him slipping out of sight and I had to follow. Kept sending out flashes of Hell that weren’t normal for a human and dizzzappearing. Hizz energy was so familiar to me, Gabriel.” Ze were getting quiet and the angel stilled, ze had never told him what had happened. Not even when he was helping zir recover. “He reeked of Hell and I couldn’t recognizzze it becauze it made no sense. And I followed... It made no senzze, Love. I was looking to go to the girlz and talk to them, convince them to press chargez, I couldn’t sit still and couldn’t sleep after you had left.” 

He would have joked about the diminutive and sleepy demon not being able to, but Gabriel knew it wasn’t the time. Ze weren’t looking at him, more like directly through him...and shaking. 

“I followed him all the way to the ztudio and it waz only when I got to Zignorelli’z zide that I even fucking recognized it-” Everything suddenly clenched up, zir face scrunched and breath stopped again, brow furrowed, and ze were shaking only enough that he could feel it. Whether it was out of anger or upset, he didn’t know. It looked like both. 

“Bee, it’s okay.” He almost pushed the curls that had slipped in front of zir face away but ze were so keyed up even the small movement of his hand made zir flinch, grabbing his wayward hand. So, he took hold and placed zir’s on his chest and waited, letting zir feel his heart beat. “You don’t have to share anything else, not if you don’t want to. But I am here with you now and if it is him, WE can take care of it. Let me correct my oversight.” 

“I-” 

“I have orders to take Luca Giordano out. Metatron has shared he’s one of the escapees, I guess conspirators now, and his name was released from Hell. Technically, he is not one of yours anymore. There’s no one to stop you, either.” 

And something felt suspiciously like relief rolled off the demon but, as Beelzebub had barely managed throughout, ze only showed it in zir eyes, making Gabriel give an involuntary smile. Ze cursed how it affected zir, how ze shouldn’t let it. How ze felt ze made a fool of the angel that kept to a promise he shouldn’t have, and felt altogether too exhausted everything. Gabriel...trusted zir in ways ze knew he shouldn’t. 

But there was no time to ruminate on it. 

“Are you trying to tempt me, Mezzenger?” Ze arched one of zir pale brows at him. Guarded but intrigued, sizing the angel up, zir shoulders becoming less tense. And Gabriel let out a little puff of air, holding back a laugh, with a smile that was far too easy-going for what had just transpired. 

“Come on, dearest, I want to see you destroy a rebellious fiend.” 

And he pulled zir out from under the shade of the tree, walking backwards with zir small hand still in his and held against his chest. And again, ze let him, unaware zir moon-pale face was tinged with a faint blush. 

***************************** 

But that blush was short lived. 

The Demon Prince led him back into the city and found nothing. Beelzebub briefly wondered if ze were being paranoid and irrational, ze really weren’t certain if what ze were seeing really was that bastard. That, and if it were, what repercussions ze would face over leading the Archangel Gabriel to him. Or if he had retained the herbs that had all but paralyzed zir. Or anything, really. Zir thoughts were scrambled and ze tried to only focus on the one thing that drew zir. 

The spark of infernal energy. 

That Damned green cape. 

-Could he hurt Gabriel?... 

Ze didn’t even address how the thought was completely backwards. Any other Prince of Hell would have been fighting the angel and leaving him to befall whatever dangers were out and about. Instead ze had left zir hand in his and pulled him along on their way. Ze let his warmth encompass zir hand and let it be. Let him get close when ze stopped whenever the Demon Prince thought ze saw another hint of what was thought to be zir personal terror. 

Never getting close enough to the anomaly to verify and feeling zir heart pound in zir chest only that much quicker. 

Ze wanted. 

Beelzebub wanted a chance to tear down the Hellspun infernal and eviscerate him into nothing but dust. 

Less than dust. 

And ze felt ze had stupidly let Gabriel lull zir into ideas ze could do it, unverified and unsanctioned. It only added to zir nerves and anxiety. But oh, how ze wanted this! The whole thing was turning into one ridiculous event that ze were almost questioning if ze had ever been released from Lucifer’s enforced half-nightmare. The notion made zir involuntarily shiver. 

Every little corner in the town, every crowded intersected dirt street, every shadow ze pulled Gabriel down, held notes of that Damnation ze chased. Only just. 

They had made it to the little town’s church and felt as Gabriel pulled the demon off to the side, away from it. “Holy Ground.” He whispered and waived all too cheerily at the priest who was cleaning the steps of the church. 

Ze watched him as his smile grew soft again and felt a sort of ease slip off of him, wondering what it must have been like to be so carefree and clueless, but couldn’t fathom it for a second. He was just who he was and ze were a little envious of that, with everything else ze knew. 

Zir mind wondered back to Luca and then to those memories...the babies... 

-If that bloody wanker is even a fraction responsible for those atrocities, I’m going to flay him open first and then feed him his skin as it roasts. 

They continued on their way until the marketplace, which was far too bustling with people and animals as it was a market day. The sun shining and the day warm had people out and about and that meant too much distraction. But that cape kept flitting between people and Beelzebub tugged at Gabriel’s sleeve as they watched the very visage of Luca Giordano saddle up to a stale and start to speak to the man behind it. 

He only SEEMED unaware. 

Ze drew Gabriel over to the opposite end of the street, never taking zir eyes off the man in green. Worried over what his plans were. This was not behavior of someone who had just led zir on. His outfit had changed to be more updated and ze refused to curse that he still enjoyed being up to date with fashion. 

“Gabriel...” 

“Do you see him?” 

“Of course, I fucking see the brazen bastard. You?” 

-Please, tell me I’m not fucking crazy, angel. 

“Why doesn’t he look...different in a bad way? He looks better. The other souls and Brontis all looked different.” 

“He’s attached to his former self. And he’s a vain arse, so he made his corporation more attractive to seduce people into Carnal Sin.” 

“One of Asmodeus’s men?” when he heard zir reply he let out a frustrated huff, “Of course, he would be.” 

Seeing the once-mortal slip between the stalls and into the building behind ze started to stomp through the people to follow, but Gabriel pulled zir back. 

“That building has an entrance in the back, I’ll go around and head him off there, you’ll be able to cut him off from behind.” 

“Gabriel. No. This clearly has to be a trap.” Ze minced out but he was already letting go and making his way on his much larger legs between the nearest buildings and out of sight. “Pigeon!” 

Frustrated and dumbfounded by his brash actions, ze could only stare after him in anger. Beelzebub worked through the crowd, shoving through gently enough not to draw attention, and as soon as ze made it, ze focused zir energy down into the Earth and let the anthropoids of the area draw close in a parameter. This time it was hornets, as there had been a large nest of the tiny Hellions conveniently close by, ordering them to zir location and ready to aid zir stupid husband on the other side. 

Ze were furious and anxious and now being remiss of the angel at zir side, ze felt the world spin over the far too familiar progression of their target’s patterns. Even the fucking door had been left to swing open onto darkness. 

And Beelzebub stood there, just beyond the stall, eyeing it, as ze had before. 

Ze could see the back of a man-shaped being. His aura was carelessly lazing about, drawing zir in, making Beelzebub more suspicious with each passing second. Ze eyed the inside, searching for nearer fliers that could give zir advantage through their sight, but found nothing. 

Ze were so focused on what was occurring in front of zir that ze hadn’t taken notice of the being slipping up behind zir, wrapping warm hands around zir wrists, barely pressing up against zir. A familiar warmth spread over zir and a shift of fabric and the hand slid up zir forearm, ze froze up for a moment but had assumed it was the angel comeback. The warmth was so familiar… 

“Gabriel?...” 

“How dare you, my filthy little fly...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ::nervous laughter:: I’m an arsehole! Please know that I take no pleasure in this, it’s all just falling out of my head sometimes. 
> 
> This actually took a long while to write between everything going on. I HAD another chapter but needed the actions between. I did not think the actions would be Gabriel dragging facts out of Bee and Bee having a near breakdown over not telling him and completely unaddressed trauma, or the fact that LUCA would be brought back so early. I had debated revealing him later, but this is how he forced his way out. And Bee and Gabe both have a lot of baggage about him (if you remember who he was in ATWFD and his green clothes). I don’t like writing Beelzebub as weak, even as a victim, but there are always people that break down even the biggest bads. Luca was a human and granted the strength to do it, and there were later rules enforced to keep Bee from acting how ze would want against him. All that leaves Bee vulnerable in ways that I never shared nor addressed for zir. I did try to not go too much into it and tried to balance between the issues over not telling the angel what Hell MIGHT do with a soul like Luca’s and Bee’s trauma. And Gabriel may be fluffy with his little wife but I felt he wouldn’t just accept zir keeping information, he’d put a stop to it. 
> 
> So yeah...I made a quasterfuck in a not fun way and tried to make it a clean quasterfuck...is that a thing? 
> 
> Short version: Beelzebub is prickly for a reason, Gabriel wanted answers and opened a floodgate I (ME MYSELF) was not expecting to write it, and GUESS WHO’S BACK? (Oh gosh! Please, someone tell me if this chapter is OKAY, I’m really nervous over this one and didn’t want to drag things on for forever. It’s really fun and all but GOSH! I’m so sorry!) 
> 
> COMMENTS and CON-CRIT are always welcomed! I try to listen to what you write me, and better my work, I really do. Tell me what you liked, songs it made you think of, or things you found interesting. Hell, even tell me what you DON’T like, story wise or writing wise, I’m here to listen/correct myself/bitch about these things. And questions are always welcome...sometimes I may not directly answer specific ones...that may be about certain story developments...so I may sidestep HOW I answer it. 
> 
> Kudos are like cookies that will ease my soul, I know this is a difficult topic to write and navigate and READ so I understand if people aren’t a fan, but it’s appreciated. 
> 
> And lastly, I hope you are all well, I hope you are all walking through things but safe, and I hope you have a good day.


	16. Fools Are Often Crushed For Trusting...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub learns the penalties for zir grave mistake for calling out Gabriel’s name under the hands of zir King and Master. Ze weren’t expecting Him. Ze were too trusting. And now ze are going to pay a price. 
> 
> Gabriel, on finding his little wife missing, finds his brother is planning to take more than His pound of flesh for Beelzebub’s assumed dalliances with the Archangel. He doesn’t know how to get his wife out of such a situation, but he refuses to leave...seeing more than he wanted. Ignoring how things are supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for King_Evelyn. You have been following with me since nearly the beginning and always leave me such great music recommendations that fit so well. I appreciate that immensely. 
> 
> Okay! TW........You are all just going to need a hug after this, at least I feel I do. 
> 
> TW: TRAUMA! LUCIFER (He’s His own warning in my story) Lucifer being AWFUL! TRAUMA! Name calling, misgendering and acknowledging that He knows he’s doing it, Torture/beating/violence, mental harassment/verbal abuse, sexual harassment, molestation, mental breakdown, anxiety, body horror, self-harm attempt with minor physical harm achieved, mentioned miscarriage (in a veiled way). I THINK that’s it...if I miss absolutely anything, please! For the love of someone LET ME KNOW! I enjoy the awful story I write, I do not enjoy taking people unaware by awful things that could really do emotional harm. 
> 
> There is fluff towards the end of this chapter. 
> 
> StarlightPheonix, I HOPE if you ever read even a single word of any of my stories that you know that I am SO SORRY! And I never meant to upset you! 
> 
> I’ve had this chapter mostly done for a VERY long time now, this one I can’t even remember when I did it. It was part of why I decided to do this story arc because it was so...terrifying and I couldn’t get it out of my head – just like the arc before that ended in Beelzebub’s rape (I’m so sorry! I REALL AM!). Beelzebub does not seem to me like ze are a character that would ever really win. Ze just seem like someone always stuck in a really shitty situation and going with it because there’s no other option and the hands dealt zir are never good, so ze would become resourceful and go after power to at least have that. Ze seem like a dreadful and tragic character with a lot of failings despite being one of the smarter ones (I mean ze would have to be to at least survive and rise in ranks). That and zir clear connections as Lucifer’s favorite chew toy that actually does zir job and make zir indispensable. Someone who would know ze only served a purpose and was along for the ride if ze had perks and played zir shitty cards well. 
> 
> Gabriel...I always figured Gabriel would be the one that connects the dots from Hell to Heaven for zir and was too similar in power that they would naturally gravitate towards each other (I say this without saying more about Before). I was certain they would have a connection that was just NOT talked about or handled at all. (On the funny side of things that one little touch between Anna Martin Maxwell and Jon Hamm and their portrayal sent all of us through the “They’re married, Neil!” thing, and THAT didn’t help XD) 
> 
> The last thing I will mention now is that I had an issue with certain actions in this chapter. I know that Lucifer is A LOT. He’s a lot ot cope with and a lot to write and I just tend to have my own mini-meltdowns when he’s involved in the scene. He writes out as cruel and disgusting so very easily that I sometimes feel I need to pick and choose where to reign his nastiness in. 
> 
> I proofread this chapter a zillion times, added and deleted some things I wasn’t sure of adding...I’m a nervous wreck. I figured I couldn’t wait on it anymore and finally posted it after one last read through. It felt right this morning. 
> 
> I’m just going to go collapse over here in one big nervous mess (not true, I’m heading out and putting my brain and space to good use in the world because FUCK THIS NOISE! ALL OF IT! RIGHT IN THE EAR!). Please, stay safe, and please wear facemasks and bring hand sanitizer and sunblock. Just stay safe everyone. <3

“Gabriel?...” 

“How dare you, my filthy little fly...” 

A dangerous growling coo, if ever there was one. 

Beelzebub jostled and zir blood ran cold. 

Zir King’s hold tightened on the now visibly shaking diminutive being before Him and dragged zir away. 

As soon as they were absconded with in a back alley Lucifer SLAMMED zir into the wall behind Beelzebub so fast and hard, zir hat fell off zir head, parts of the wall cracked and crumbled debris into zir hair and clothes and dirt around zir. Something felt like it rattled in zir skull, but Beelzebub was too shocked and afraid to realize the pain yet. 

“You call out to HIM! Assume MY hands are HIS! Perhaps I should take away your lovely little eyes that Gabriel Loves so much. Make you wonder which hands are indeed mine and which are his. Maybe that will teach you to not be so foolish, MY butterfly.” A hand, clearly and distinctly not Gabriel’s, clasped at Beelzebub’s chin and squeezed hard. It would bruise. And a delicate finger raised enough for its manicured nail to lengthen into a dull jagged talon. “Maybe, I’ll make you think my hands are his, right before I rip your precious little vocal chords out.” 

“Pleazze! My King! Forgive me!” 

“Stop your Blessed buzzing!” 

And Beelzebub clamped zir mouth tight. His hold on zir arm, already vice-like, crunched zir humerus with ease, taking his time to squish and mince the surrounding muscle, and ze stifled zir grunt. A strangled inhale the only sound ze made, as if He hadn’t just hurt zir terribly. He began to run that hand that held zir arm together down over zir waist, mummering how ze looked so pretty in zir new dress and had to ruin it by being nothing but refuse in beautiful fabric. 

Zir arm dangled awkwardly from the break, but ze couldn’t take hold of it with Lucifer so close. Ze wouldn’t dare try. 

“Why do you beg to keep them? You should give them willingly, when I ask.” He huffed into zir face, ze could smell the fires of Hell broiling within his very being on his breath. “Do you do it so that you may still shine those eyes on him, to look upon my brother?” 

“No! My Lord-My King! Forgive-” 

“I’ll not tolerate your mistake, whore.” He pierced the flesh just below zir eye and Beelzebub let out a quiet, strangled whimper. Ze were ready to accept the punishment, it was expected for what ze had done and ze were ready to see it as a lesson for allowing Gabriel to get too close. For touching him, for zir disturbing behavior, for zir actions with him. For trusting...forgetting... 

Ze were ready even in all zir terror. Ze couldn’t breathe and zir very corporation felt like it was going to shut down on zir, but ze knew He would never allow that. Not when He wanted to punish zir. 

“The noises you make, Beelzebub...” He sighed, tilting his head back, curls bouncing as they swayed off his shoulders. He looked regal in a powdery blue great coat, with gold brocade patterns and trimmings. Lace spilled from his throat and rose as he moved his chin back. He was dressed quite resplendently, as one would expect of someone as Prideful as Him. Not a priest’s clothe in sight. “I don’t often get to hear you make noises like this. Perhaps I should make you a good whore for me, make you make all these noises for me, and put that cunt of yours to good use. Surely, Gabriel couldn’t have shown you much of a good time last night.” 

And he squeezed zir waist, bruising zir, and wedged his knee hard between zir legs, pinning zir skirts. Ze grimaced and grunted, but nothing more. Trembling. It was just zir and zir King. 

“Tell me, you aren’t Blessing him with your cock, too, are you?” He drew back just enough, scrutinizing zir. “Not going around wielding both Efforts while you work? Hmm? Greedy little whore.” 

“No, my King! I’d never! I haven’t!” 

“Haven’t what? Gone around wielding both sheath and sword between your legs? Fucked my dear brother? Betrayed your own? Betrayed me?” He was pressing against zir, snarling still in a soft voice, teeth gnashing. He got so close, practically on top of zir, that he stared zir down from above. It was a drastically different experience from earlier and how it felt when Gabriel felt so close to zir, but ze couldn’t analyze it. 

“Let her go, Lucifer.” Gabriel called out from the entrance of alleyway. 

He looked imposing. Had they all been human Gabriel would have easily been able to take someone that looked like Lucifer. But sadly...that was not the case. 

“Leave at onze, Archangel Gabriel! You have no buzinezz here!” Beelzebub choked out, trying desperately to sound anything but scared witless. Zir mouth was drawn into a tight line but zir eyes were wild and wide, but ze refused to look at the angel. 

“So now he’s Archangel Gabriel? Hmm?” He looked down His nose at zir, sneering. But then the Leader of the Fallen half of the Kingdom of Heaven’s face made the most minute of changes. One that only Beelzebub could witness in full, as ze were face to face with the Prince of Darkness, and it terrified zir. Lucifer eyed the Prince and then looked at His brother and then back. “Someone HAS been telling secrets, haven’t you, fly?” 

And He took hold of zir throat again and squeezed hard enough for the fly demon to see stars. 

“I told you to take your hands off her, brother. She has told me no secrets.” 

The Liar Prince could sense that much was True from the Messenger’s words and couldn’t help but prod, “Oh? Then how is it you came by such highly intimate knowledge, dear brother?...I can smell her all over you. On your very essence. And she smells rank, of you. Like the stars...” 

“Necessary arrangement, but she told me nothing. And I’m certain her plans were to-” 

“Gabriel, please, stop being a brainless git and do shut up. Leave us, I have measures to take with my Prince.” 

He wasn’t willing to play usually amiable nature off. Gabriel was furious and his features were stern, eyes locked on Lucifer. “Forgive me, but I don’t take orders from you and I simply can NOT allow you to leave with my-.” 

“Your what? Your wife?” Lucifer shifted His glare to the Archangel invading with persistence but turned away. Gabriel was only a minor nuisance to Him, anyway. “She may be your ‘WIFE’ or whatever but she’s mine, I will deal with her as I please. You only get to rent her like the little whore she is. Izzzn’t that right, Beelzzzzebub?” 

“You will not speak to her like so.” 

Lucifer barely gave His Heavenly brother another glance and grabbed Beelzebub’s ring hand and brought it to His face to inspect. “Why not? You paid for her in gold? That’s what the children of Adam do with their whores, is it not?” He frowned, “Yet, she only asked for such a lowly pittance.” His brown eyes that were nearly honey amber in the sun flicked up to Beelzebub’s face, “I’m ashamed of you, Beelzebub.” 

The Prince didn’t dare struggle in His grip nor look away. Didn’t dare even yelp, nor did ze pull away, as ze felt Him slowly crush zir fingers. Ze just shook. Vibrated. Ze wouldn’t look at zir hand. 

He looked zir over and smiled that beatific smile once more. “What eye do you favor more, little brother? Her left or her right? She doesn’t need both in order to fuck her. Actually, it gives her a new hole with which to fuck.” He shrugged and laughed as he dragged his nail back up to zir face. Beelzebub’s eyes went as wide as ever as the sharp point was so very close to zir pupil. If ze didn’t stop shaking ze would impale zirself on it. “She might still be a little delicate down there, after all her shortcomings bled out of her.” 

“My Lord, pleazze! I beg-” 

“Silence, Beelzebub!” He spat out, marring His features with anger. But after a second, He let out a frustrated sigh as He heard more than felt Gabriel’s Divine energy start to crackle. 

The day turned quickly to night as imposing storm clouds started to roll in and sparks of lightning rang out, making the mortals in the area quickly dash for shelter. The storm brewing would have been likened to the dealings of a thunder god of old, or day of reckoning, told in stories around campfires by those who survived it. It was a grand horrific feat. 

And Lucifer laughed. 

He laughed that bubbling laugh and howled and hooted at His brother. 

It did nothing to keep Gabriel from drawing more energy into the storm, keeping on his guard. He was trained not to, and he had no intentions of letting Lucifer get away with this. 

“Going to douse me in Holy Water, Gabriel? Do you forget your dear little bug of a ‘wife’ would also melt for her Sins?” He snorted, giving a devilish smirk, “She’s mine for a reason, you forget.” 

And his words caused Gabriel to hold, stilling the churning in the sky, but only just. 

“I’ll tell you what, she can keep her beautiful eyes, simply because she’ll need them to work and I don’t think this...” He trailed his eyes to above and stared, “was sanctioned by Mother and it was entertaining to see it. I can’t wait to hear what She’ll do about it.” He shook His head with a mirth that didn’t belong to the situation and focused back on the fly demon. “Still so funny that you are so foolish, little brother. So Prideful to think you can do as you please.” He shrugged, “If I hadn’t said anything it might have been worth the loss of a competent lieutenant, to watch her dissolve into a puddle of filth before your very eyes.” He breathed in and drew so close he could have kissed Beelzebub, if he just pulled zir up just a bit more. “Heavens, little filth, he is offensive to his own kind, coming out to defend a tiny demon whore. What, if not fucking him or secrets, have you been giving him, hmm?” 

And ze tried to say “nothing,” tried to shake zir head, ze were all but mute and begging and it made His lips twitch up into a new smile. 

“You should be punished, it’s only right. But how to do that? Can’t let you go around, embarrassing Hell like this. Embarrassing me. Offending me, like my foolish brother offends everyone.” He slid his clawed hand down zir face, marring it with thin black lines of blood, until he non-too-gently cupped zir chin. “If thy left hand offends me…cut it off and cast it from me…isn’t that how the saying goes, Gabriel? How would that feel, my Prince? You offend me. Shall I cut something of you off?” He choked out another dulcet little chuckle unfitting for the King of the Damned, as He clenched zir jaw tighter, cracking it. 

But then something in His voice, His aura snapped, and Lucifer whispered low and Deadly, into zir face. “And what has thou been doing with thine hands, Beelzebub?” 

And the smaller demon in His hands froze up. Zir chest contracted on zir and ze forgot ze didn’t need to breathe. 

He turned away to look at his glaring ‘little’ brother, “What do you think, a hand instead of her eyes?” 

No one answered but Lucifer hadn’t been looking for one. 

“No? How about a finger?” Eyes glinted golden and brought full attention back to the Prince in His grip. He cooed as He slipped His thumb up, focused on only one of zir’s. And He used the hand that still held Beelzebub’s ringed one and snapped it back as if it were a twig. The finger broke almost clear off and the Prince bowed zir head and trembled and zir face scrunched up. But ze swallowed the yowl of pain, the whimpers, making them sound hollow in the back of zir throat. His face contorted and He crumpled the rest of zir hand, crunching so many bones, making it all the harder for zir to keep quiet. 

“Lucifer! Take your hands OFF her! I will call upon the Hosts of Heaven and you will be found out. You won’t be able to go running around as you please, anymore.” Gabriel growled only making Lucifer chuckle and drop Beelzebub’s broken hand and pushed zir back against the wall with the flat of His hand on zir stomach. 

“Haven’t told Mother on me yet? Oh, that’s grand!” 

“Stand down, Archangel. You cannot command Him with your futile threatz.” Beelzebub managed somehow to rasp it out. Ze needed Gabriel to leave. 

“She’s right, dear brother.” He crooned, dragging his hand down to zir throat and choked zir, straightening out zir hunched frame. “Most loyal in moments when you know I’m watching, aren’t you?” He crooned in zir face and Beelzebub was all too aware that it was only going to get worse. He slid a hand over zir hip and down, becoming hidden between them. 

Beelzebub’s mind went blank and ze startled so hard ze reared back and hit zir head on the wall behind zir. Ze actually yelped but quickly bit it back, eyes fluttering shut. 

“Don’t touch her like that! God Damnit, Lucifer! Stop this!” 

A crack of lightning from up above rang clear and lit up the sky, but the rain did not fall. The sky turned pitch, like dye being poured into a boiling pot, and the clouds churned. The second charge that snapped out from the clouds was Holier than the last, and made the air taste like nickel. 

His anger over Lucifer’s treatment of Beelzebub, the way He was touching zir, zir terrified eyes, had him planted firm but he wanted to lunge at his lost brother and tear Him limb from limb. He couldn’t wrap his head around the scene before him, but Beelzebub’s clear terror was all that kept him grounded. Watching zir tremble. Watching Lucifer molest zir. Gabriel felt he was falling back into the nightmare involving Luca and the Prince. 

“Gabriel, she and I are already Damned...Do what you will with her for now, brother, but do not forget she’s not yours. Be of use to me and do your job, Prince Beelzebub.” 

And he left the human way, back into the streets, but Beelzebub didn’t move. Didn’t open zir eyes to see it. Didn’t breathe. Ze wished He had taken zir eyes instead. 

When Gabriel came up to zir, the storm clouds rolled back before they could even unleash his fury, he didn’t lay a finger on zir, not after seeing all that, and could not let his aura roll over zir. He called out softly to the demon but didn’t expect zir to lash out and push past him. 

“Bee!” 

The world crashed back down around the demon, zir chest felt as though it was going to cave in and ze clutched onto zir now broken arm and rushed away. Ze forgot all about their purpose of tailing Luca Giordano and kept zir mouth shut from releasing anything but a choking noise. As though ze couldn’t allow zirself the tears even when the sobs wrecked zir throat threatening to escape, ze swallowed all of it down. 

Beelzebub needed to get as far away as possible. If ze dropped from shock or fear ze felt it would have been deserved and maybe a reprieve. 

How foolish was ze to have mistaken Lucifer’s touch for Gabriel’s? Calling Gabriel’s name...How foolish was ze to have allowed whatever this stupidity was to have gone this far? Ze couldn’t stop thinking these things. And then to have Lucifer touch zir like that, with Gabriel watching...ze couldn’t even think nor act as ze usually would. Ze couldn’t bear it nor stop from reacting in terror. 

The demon did NOT want to think what Gabriel thought of what he witnessed. 

-Had the Archangel unleashed Holy Water from the clouds it would have been a Blessed Mercy! 

Ze turned a wrong corner and discovered zirself in a hay loft, not an animal in sight and walls around zir. It left zir confused and about ready to break from the stress. Ze didn’t know where ze needed to go or wanted to go but the Prince definitely did not want to be anywhere near where Lucifer last was. 

As sudden as everything else, Beelzebub took one of the blades Gabriel gifted zir, hidden in zir skirt’s pocket, and threw off the sheath to the dirt below, cursing it for everything attached to it, ignoring how painful and difficult it was to grip with crushed and broken fingers, and brought the tip of the blade up to level with the part of zir face zir King first wished zir to be rid of. 

Ze were going to gauge out zir own eye. 

“Bee!” 

The small Fly Prince turned around holding the blade at the angel that had interrupted zir and invaded zir life. Shaking zir head at him. 

Ze could see he was afraid, trepidation clear in his features, but the look in his eye was what ze thought was misplaced concern and uncertainty and ze wanted to smack it off his face. Wanted to scream at him to get lost and never speak to zir again. Wanted to push him away and out of zir life, ze couldn’t play at their stupid made up game anymore. 

“Leave, Mezzenger. Unlezz you plan to zmite me.” 

“I’m not here for that, Beelzebub.” 

“Don’t think juzt becauze my King said He gave me to you, meanz you’re welcome to fuck me.” 

“I wouldn’t touch you like that at the whims of another, I promise. Never. But I’m not leaving you…” 

“What? Like you wouldn’t leave me zztanding there in the street, after you tell me we’ll get rid of Luca together and I warn you itz a blezzed trap?” 

Gabriel reacted as though smacked, eyes going wide. It was what he thought was the best course of action to box Luca in, it was strategically sound. And when he had burst into the building to find...nothing and see that Beelzebub hadn’t met him in the middle the singer started to shriek in his ear. Just an ear-piercing scream. He couldn’t say anything to aleve Beelzebub’s clear upset. 

“Juzt fucking leave. Go!” 

Ze knew it would have been so much better for them both. 

Safer. 

“I can’t. Not like this.” 

“We’re not meant to fraternizze.” Ze spat out. 

He only stepped closer; hands still raised. “Bee...” 

“I’m NOT yours!” 

“I know...” 

“Not zuppozzzzed to be…” And ze dropped to zir knees and collapsed to the ground, a mess of silent tears and a new pain in zir head as it met the ground hard, dagger clattering at zir side, grip unable to sustain zir blade. The visit by zir King, His cruel actions, zir panic and fear and conflicting contradictory emotions finally overwhelmed zir. “His...” 

Gabriel, as he would always do, slowly moved to kneel in front of zir and lay his head on the ground too, facing zir. Still getting to zir level. 

“Are you-” 

“Z’not your businezz.” 

“Okay.” 

“He had to punizh me. Correct me. I’m all wrong.” 

“Bee-” 

“He wazn’t zcared of you.” 

“I know.” 

“Don’t ever try to faze Him down again. You go. Leave.” 

“I’d have to face him, Bee.” 

“He will kill you.” 

“He could.” 

“Don’t be zo pompouzzz. He would.” 

“I know.” He shifted his hand out and lay it in the space between them, waiting for zir to accept it but nothing more. “It’s my duty to face him, no matter the consequences to me. But I just couldn’t let him do that to you.” 

-You’ve made it worse! I made it worse!...Gabriel, what have I done?! 

“Leave.” 

They lay there on the cold hard ground, in silence, for so long ze were able to recount every regret of what ze had allowed in zir head since seeing Gabriel again. A strangled cry escaped zir lips that ze bit down hard to stop from going any further and ground zir forehead in the dirt floor. Blood dribbled from zir mouth to pool with zir spit in the dirt. Ze began to pound zir head and felt as the angel slipped his large hand between the two but did nothing more. Just like all those years before. The hand and warmth felt monumentally different. 

-How could I have fucking confused the two?! 

“Please stop this, Bee. Stop.” 

“What doez it matter to you?!” Ze sprung up, ignoring the pain of feeling a part of zir arm dragging in one direction away from the rest of zir corporation. “What’zzz it to you, Mezzenger?! I’m HIS to do with as He sees fit! And I deserved punizhment!” And ze felt betrayed by the strangled sob that escaped zir mouth, eyes murderous, believing ze had been playing a fool. “What?! Juzzt here to enjoy lording you’re Merzzy and fucking good intent on a pitiful creature, like me?! Izz that it?!” 

He sat back too, he didn’t answer and shook his head, eyes cast down but not at the shorter being. 

“You know that’s not why. I don’t like you hurting like this. Why-” 

“No! Zzzztop thiz nonzenze! JUZZT FUCKING GO!” 

“...I can’t.” And with a quietly rasped out, “Thiz doezzn’t make any fucking zenzze...” with the tiniest of exhausted sighs from the demon, the angel plowed on. “I don’t know why, all things considering who we really are, but it’s as simple as that.” he shrugged and worried his lips, knowing his answer was wrong on a Heavenly scale, but he couldn’t help it. “Just...Can we stop for a moment and just-” 

“What?! There iz NOTHING to ztop, Archangel! Thiz! Thiz right here! Zzz’not zuppozed to happen!” 

“I know, but…let’s just forget everything else for a moment and...just...let me take care of you? For now.” He held out his hands, not daring to go any further. “Let’s just forget what just happened and just exist for a moment. I’ll take care of you, let me heal your wounds, your arm, your face, everything I can, and we’ll sit here until you’re ready to start yelling at me for something else; like how I paid my tailor to put too ornate a trim on my coat and it annoys your very existence or how you think I need to be more articulate with my communications with the mortals. Even how you think that I’m too vain for an angel. Anything.” 

He crouched his body a little when ze seemed to deflate at such ridiculous mundane notions, watery eyes traveling elsewhere, bloody lips locked. He tried to follow zir gaze but would not touch zir. 

“Please, Bee?” 

-Damned if I fucking do, and it’s as He said, I’m already Damned... 

After a few silent seconds, ze silently and inelegantly scooted over, grinding the dirt into the fabric of zir skirts, and flung zirself in Gabriel’s arms, collapsing onto him and ignoring how the pain was doubling. 

He caught zir without hesitation. 

“Only for a little while.” Ze whispered hoarsely and he held zir close, allowing his hand to rest at the nape of zir neck and let zir curl up and bury zir bloody and dirty face in his shirt and let the tears spill silently. 

“That’s all I ask.” He ran his fingers over zir hair and down zir back, focusing his energy to heal zir, knitting everything shut that Lucifer wove into the fibers of zir skin. He whispered how he was going to touch zir neck to get the wounds there and Beelzebub nodded zir silent consent. Ze kept zir face buried and took a shuddering breath and Gabriel ran his fingers over zir cheek as gentle as a feather, wiping away blood and tears as best he could, finding the laceration that started just below zir lower eye lashes and healed it away. 

He had asked zir to sit up so they could adjust zir arm and align it, inspect it and ensure it was lined up to properly heal, saying he worried it wouldn’t work well otherwise. And so instead ze flipped over in his arms and he ran his hand over zir limb and finished up. Keeping his other hand on zir shoulder, which ze took hold of. 

When he saw the injury to zir hand that held his, he stilled, it was all but destroyed. Gabriel had no clue how it was even curled around his. The Archangel nearly gagged at how it didn’t even look much like a hand anymore. He saw how the ring had stood up as promised but zir fingers were in bad shape, ring finger almost dangled off, all the way back and just wrong. 

Taking a breath and squeezing zir shoulder trying to reassure zir before he went to reset zir fingers. He ignored zir blank face and covered zir damaged hand with his own to ease the pain ze hid. 

He fingered the ring when he was done and looked the Prince in his lap over. Searching zir stoic but tear and blood-stained face. 

“Why don’t you rest a bit, dearest one.” 

“What?” Ze sounded only a little incredulous at the thought, especially how Gabriel was the one to suggest it. “We should head back out. We were so close.” 

“We’ve already lost him. And we’re pretending it doesn’t matter for the moment, remember?” 

“Got you to shirk your duties, have I?” A tired sigh escaped with what should have been the faintest bewildered smirk that wasn’t, and Gabriel couldn’t help brushing his knuckles over zir cherubic cheek. 

“Think what you will, fiend.” He patted zir shoulders and pushed zir up, further confusing the Prince. “Come here.” 

He moved to actually lay in the hay and Beelzebub looked at him as though he had at least three very fine looking heads, completely uncertain what ze had just witnessed. 

-This is madness. We’ve gone mad. 

“What has become of my overly fastidiouz angel of a huzband?” 

“You got him to lay in the hay with you. Now come here, wife.” He said as he held out his arms to zir and waited. Ze eyed him, face scrunching up, but relented. They were pretending nothing else was as it was. And ze moved over to curl up in his waiting arms and for another frightening moment thought how foolish ze were and how very different he was from...Him. 

Gabriel adjusted the two of them, shifted zir skirts and his great coat, he removed his hat and set it at his side and Beelzebub took hold of his long braid and began to unravel it in zir still shaking fingers. The angel drew zir close, slipping his hand beneath zir cape, and adjusted zir small body so he could wrap his arms around zir with ease, rubbing zir arm and placing his cheek against zir forehead. He felt as ze shifted zirself closer and felt his own body relaxed. Ze were there. Ze hadn’t left. Ze were letting him hold zir. He buried his face in zir curls and took a steadying breath without meaning to. 

He could have kissed the crown of zir head...he so wanted to...but he wouldn’t. The angel knew better... 

“Gabriel?...” 

“Yes, honeybee?” 

He heard zir give a little huff and felt the eye roll, making him smile. He felt a comforting spark of zir temper make zir emotions fluctuate but felt as zir hand stuck between the two weave zir fingers in his own. He allowed a finger to rotate the little poesey ring around, absent-mindedly, before settling. 

“I wish we could have stayed in that field of flowers...” Ze hushed out so quietly a secret for only his ears. And those ears turned pink on hearing the Prince include him. “Just stay in the flowers and grow them and take care of them and nothing else...” Ze whispered even softer, admitting zir own betrayal. Ze weren’t like Hastur and Ligur and cursed that ze weren’t. Ze couldn’t figure zirself out, but ze were pretending... 

“Me too...” 

“They’ll be gone come Arma-” 

“Ssshhhh, hush. We’re supposed to be forgetting. Just for now, Bella.” 

He wrapped zir up closer and felt his lips brush against the smooth skin of zir forehead, but nothing more, he didn’t want to destroy the falsehood that everything would be okay, yet. Gabriel wasn’t ready after everything that had transpired. Not after everything that the siren showed him. Not after Lucifer’s appearance and attack on the Prince. 

The Archangel needed comfort even if it wasn’t right to dream about it with someone who was indeed his enemy. Someone he intended to end. Kill. He refused to think on it. 

The feeling that it was also unfair to say such things to Beelzebub, when he knew he shouldn’t hold to a demon, as he was now, kicked around in his head, disturbing him further. The angel knew ze could never have something like that. 

He felt as though he was stealing from zir, making false promises. 

He knew they couldn’t. 

Ze couldn’t have that Peace. 

It was wrong. 

And Gabriel had no clue why he wanted it. 

But he couldn’t stop himself from letting the words pour out and he didn’t know where the Hell the need came from. 

“We’ll find our own field. It will be just ours. And we can grow anything we want. I’ll just grow flowers for you to pick and smell and lay around in. No one can bother us there. No one can find us.” The instance he said it, Gabriel mentally cursed. He shouldn’t. And he didn’t realize how much he would want such an impossible thing until he said it out loud and knew he wasn’t supposed to. “No one but us.” 

They stayed that way long enough for Gabriel to feel the tension finally leave zir much smaller body and hear zir erratic breathing had turned into the soft buzz that Beelzebub made when ze slept. He wouldn’t move until ze woke up or they had no choice. He sent out a little miracle so no one would bother them, no one would look within. 

***************************************** 

Later, as he was suspecting was a trend with the tiny terror of a Prince was that sometimes half-awake ze would act on zir desires for comfort or whatever struck zir...apparently. 

Ze had opened zir eyes but only just, a whine escaped zir mouth and Gabriel asked if ze were okay, but a hand caught him. “Don’t speak, Love.” Was barely husked out. 

Ze traveled zir fingers past his mouth, so very slowly and caressed his jaw; it was such a gentle touch and yet the angel felt he had been forced out of his own corporation over it. 

Zir eyes were glittering and felt his corporation warm on looking at them like that. It was soothing. It was so drastically different from Beelzebub, he nearly questioned if ze were possessed. It was very close to how ze looked at him earlier that morning, pressing zir forehead against his. Sweet. Endearing. Soft. With just that rough little edge that was Beelzebub. 

He allowed zir fingers to sleepily trace out his features. Moving from jaw to flutter over his strong cheek to run through his grey mercurial hair that spilled over his chest. 

It felt so familiar and yet he had never been touched like this in his known memory. He was certain of it. He had to swallow when the pads of zir fingers found his lips again and danced over them, making zir give a soft smile and buzzing hum that made him feel like he had been lit up like glow bugs. Or maybe ze were the glow bug enchanting him, he couldn’t tell. Something foggy was brewing in his mind’s eye. 

Trying to follow that pull into forgotten memories went out the window as the next thing he knew were impossibly soft lips on his own. Lips that had been glamoured to be that smooth. 

Ze were kissing him. 

Once. 

Chaste. 

And ze hummed a little sleepy buzz again before falling back Dead asleep. 

Gabriel was too shocked to do anything more but stay frozen for a solid three minutes before coming to the realization that the Prince of Hell was in his arms. Asleep. And had just given him the most Blessedly chaste kiss in all existence that felt sweet like how he imagined honey must be. 

He felt his face catch fire. It went burning all the way into his hairline. He felt as it reached his ears. It went all the way deep into his chest, settling there like a fire in a hearth. Home. 

And yet Beelzebub was asleep! 

His mind exploded. 

\- ...…Fuck....FUCK! The HELL WAS THAT?! 

Looking zir over, he was certain ze weren’t playing at something. Ze really were asleep. 

-Mother? Surely this is a test. Is this a test? Did you send her to me like this, make her so Damned cute beyond words, and yet so...She’s my adversary! 

He fought over how it was wrong. How he wanted to kiss zir again. How THAT was wrong and sure as HELL shouldn’t have been his thought. 

-She’s the most proper definition of a DEMON! Idiot! She’s like the demon of demons! AND YOU KISSED HER! 

The turmoil did not end there. 

-This is so wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong! Keep it together, Gabriel! 

Nor there. 

-But she’s my wife, it is very appropriate for a husband and wife to kiss. They do that all the time. 

Not there either. 

-My wife is a demon. I have a demon wife. Shit!...I’m in so much trouble. 

The profanities did not end. There was actually a long stream of them of one choice word, which he would never admit to its use til years later... 

-Wait! Think, Gabriel. Yes, she is your demon-A demon! Not your demon, she’s your wife- but that’s right, she’s your WIFE and it’s negligent to not show her affections such as that. Absolutely! Even if she’s a demon. Shit! My wife is a demon! Not like we chose each other. Wait. No. That’s wrong too. I mean. Sort of. But we’ve done nothing wrong! And SHE kissed ME!...she kissed me...BUT she probably thought she was only trying to tempt me...Yes. That is most reasonable. She kissed me. Not that it wasn’t a...a nice kiss, but surely she was trying to appease my angelic tendencies to push me into temptation...it was a very nice kiss. And that smile…She has such a sweet and pure smile, when she does…How is that even possible?! Pure and demon do not go together. Fuck. Even the smile this morning wasn’t as soft and sweet as this one…And she’s asleep. Wait! Does she even realize she kissed me? Maybe she was dreaming of kissing someone else.... 

That wasn’t a pleasing thought to him, and he tried to quell that line of thought as quickly as possible. But that argument was stomped on by the demon in his arms stretching and curling zir legs backwards with little kicks as ze stretched out long, burying zir small face in the crook of his neck and curling small hands around the one still holding onto zir left and tightening zir grip on his loose locks. 

-Mother Almighty...why did you have to make her so cute?...Oh, this is bad… 

But then he felt the grimace of zir face and, looking down at zir, saw the blood that had been left there from earlier. He remembered the terror riddling zir features and shaking zir body. He didn’t want that to slip back over zir. 

The panic and angst were switched off for the moment as he squeezed zir hand to sooth zir until he took in zir relaxed form, regaining his comportment and rubbing zir back gently. 

It was then that he really believed ze deserved respite and care. The Archangel couldn’t figure out WHY he wanted to do any of that for a demon, let alone someone who was as powerful as Beelzebub, but...seeing zir as he did, feeling zir tremble in fear, that horrified look in zir Heavenly blue eyes, despite zir strength, he felt compelled. Getting to know zir as he had only solidified why he should. He felt, despite his best judgement and prior teachings that demons were awful beings that wanted Hell and Damnation for everyone, that Beelzebub was more plagued by Hell and Damnation and...not terrible. Ze were someone who didn’t do things rashly, unless it directly involved pain and zirself. 

And though ze were committed to zir King, Beelzebub did not follow completely blind and run chaos. Just on zirself. 

He lay there, holding the petite Prince close and pressed his face against zir forehead, wishing to give zir at least a tiny bit of relief. The angel didn’t recognize the feeling of his limbs and eyelids getting heavy over time. He just continued to rub zir back, or run his thumb over the shell of zir ear, or watched as the demon snuggle up closer. He couldn’t see zir face and that was a little unnerving, considering what he was being shown in memories of his lost Lover, but Beelzebub felt relaxed and he wasn’t going to move, it did hold comfort for him too. 

That Lover, whom had set a frightful trill in the wake of seeing Lucifer pin Beelzebub, had become soft long after he had stopped the demon from hurting zirself. A quiet comforting lilt to her voice served more of a lullaby and it was hours later that Gabriel opened his eyes to find himself cold and alone. Beelzebub was gone from him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that happened...and you guessed: it I’m so sorry! I’m over here with high anxiety to the point that you can just classify me as a nervous cucumber. 
> 
> Backstory: I wrote most of this months ago, around the same time I wrote the scene where Gabriel is dealing with a very drunk demon and the morning after, and didn’t know where this one was going to go in this arc either. I didn’t expect them to be happening within 2 chapters of each other. But, in the end, I felt it was brutal and perfect in the worst ways, and perfect where it landed. At first, I debated the end, but the scene didn’t feel like it the belonged at all. And when I finally placed the inn scene and worked out the last of the little details of Gabriel’s ::ahem:: helping hands on Beelzebub with zir muscles, and how it went with zir showing Gabriel where to put his hands and guiding him with zir own (which is a weird habit that’s formed for these two since WTWFD), and I got back around to this scene and proof read it and saw “what have you been doing with your hands, Beelzebub?” I was like SHITE THAT’S TOO WEIRDLY PERFECT! So...yeah...this all happened and I’m a mess. 
> 
> I had an issue over the last few days about wanting Lucifer to make veiled mentions of Beelzebub’s miscarriage in a pretentious way, something that wouldn’t be TOO obvious but strike fear into Beelzebub, and didn’t want to much going on in the story or derail it. I managed to find the right place where Gabriel had already tried to intervene, and I THINK it worked out. There was something else I purposefully left out because I didn’t want Gabriel to learn more. Just would be too much. 
> 
> This all being said, my apologies sincerely made, and I have tried to inform you the WHYs, I KNOW this is not what anyone wanted to happen. I know and have WANTED Gabriel to wipe the floor with Lucifer. But that’s not what happens, and I will spoil that these three will come into who we believe them to be in the show. Please accept my deepest apologies. But at least we now all know that Gabriel wouldn’t leave and then some. (Sorry Starlight Pheonix, he doesn’t barrel into Hell toss Lucifer around and tell Him to keep His hands off his wife. It’s not that simple. I also had to figure out how to make it so that Lucifer WOULD leave them. I do have reasons...I”M SO SORRY!) (Yeah...if everyone can’t tell by now, I’m just a hot mess. Emphasis on mess. . .) 
> 
> I have so much going on in my head right now, I’m just trying to articulate and keep these chapters clean and readable but still keep people intrigued and on their toes. Please let me know what you think, I enjoy your comments and thoughts. Music suggestions are always welcomed too.


	17. Hope Laced With Knowledge & Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub is off on zir own again, hunting rebels, coping by ignoring zir personal problems, and finds just the worst distraction in zir work. 
> 
> And a certain Archangel happens to stumble on a macabre scene that he absolutely wasn’t expecting...leading to more unexpected troubles with his demonic counterpart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting off with TW: Ritualistic sacrifice, gore, blood, brief semi-cannibalism (does it count if a damned soul is doing the eating? I don’t know, but it’s there), mentions of miscarriage, infant death/sacrifice, MAIMING...its a small maiming to a body and I tried not to be graphic. 
> 
> Back to the usual grind...anyone else exhausted? I’m exhausted. I’m about to head out again though...it's kind of scary out there and I’m hoping those engaging in the world (whether because you are essential or fighting out there) that you are safe. PLEASE be safe. Don’t forget water-based sunscreen, water-baking soda mix, and I’m not even kidding when I say an umbrella (though they're trying to stop that. Don’t let them. Fuck that noise!). Stay safe friends! <3 
> 
> That bit of fluff was mixed with softness and silliness (Gabriel’s meltdown. That angel...If Beelzebub ever heard even a sentence of what went through his head ze would probably combust after saying “NOW?! YOU GET THAT NOW?!”) but I didn’t want to put that in the newest chapter, and I wanted to keep that kiss as I felt it was important. And I wanted/NEEDED to leave it with Gabriel finding himself alone. But...for now...feel free to insert the Simpson’s Ralph “I’m in danger” meme. Yeah…thank you all always for your amazing comments, they bring much needed levity, focus, and I get to talk to some wonderful people! You’re all really great! 
> 
> I do think that these two would be overwhelmed with stress, I don’t think Gabriel would have risked Beelzebub even if he watched Lucifer touching zir. I just don’t think he’d know the best course of action when Lucifer was the one with all the advantages and Beelzebub hostage. He may seem stupid and focused on getting stronger but Lucifer is an unknown variable to Gabriel, what he DID know from Before was that Lucifer was stronger than him and only Michael could take Him down. If he brought anyone, including Michael, down to help him Gabriel knew that it’d only cause more harm and possibly his wife’s destruction. He was in a VERY tight spot. 
> 
> And I don’t think Gabriel could have asked what happened, what he saw, Beelzebub wouldn’t let him and I think Gabriel could tell that ze were having a meltdown and wouldn’t have been able to answer him. He wouldn’t know what to do again. Nor do I think that he would have been able to handle knowing just then.

Beelzebub felt like ze had completely lost zir fucking mind, as soon as ze woke up to find zirself in Gabriel’s warm embrace. Ze stared up at him. Ze didn’t know what else to do, but stare in complete mute horror and frustration. Ze truly believed zir corporation must have become taken over, or ze lost whatever little semblance of sanity ze had, to allow it to happen again. 

And in the quiet, ze scrutinized the sleeping Archangel who trusted zir and made promises that could never be. 

He looked almost Peaceful with his arms wrapped around zir, loosened when ze sat up. Ze very nearly touched him, nearly moved to caress his cheek, to touch his mouth...zir fingers twitched from the thought. Instead, ze held firm and kept zir body, zir hand, still. Zir very hands that had caused zir trouble and put both zir and Gabriel in Lucifer’s violent path, that Gabriel healed. 

Zir King’s anger and knowing words left zir...alarmed and disturbed. 

Ze knew ze shouldn’t have gone about with the enemy – feeling like a complete idiot for letting said enemy convince zir to lay about with him, once more – never mind trust him; in that, zir King was right on every level. His anger at the Prince was warranted. 

And yet...Gabriel had... 

There was nothing else to do but leave him there. 

Ze slipped out of his arms, slipped off the cape the angel had purchased zir a day before, and didn’t look back. Didn’t even bother with the sheath or blade ze had dropped on the ground. Ze just left him… 

And so, Beelzebub continued zir way to the town’s edge trying to find a quick way out. With zir aura suppressed and a new change of clothes, throwing on a deep red gown that had the faintest of strips to it. The sateen shimmered in the light and the ruffles at the sleeves were soft to the touch. The intricately embroidered bodice ended low, but ze demurred with a stately slightly gauzy fichu that ze could draw up to better obscure zir face. Ze frowned as ze had affixed the new bergere hat to zir head, with pin and ribbon, but there was nothing more to do on that. 

The damaged purple gown ze simply burned away... 

Ze ignored every prior moment, all the words ze said to him, all his, and just ignored and erased it. Made zirself mentally and emotionally blank and focused on what ze had intended all along. Work. 

This behavior lasted for almost week. A week before ze started to worry about Gabriel’s aura and how it would spiral out if he didn’t remember to let his hold on it go. It would hurt. Beelzebub had pretended not to count the days or look for signs of an eruption of celestial magnitude. 

Ze ignored it. 

When it didn’t come the second week, ze mentally groused – worried – the idiot had discorporated himself from strain. That or he was still holding out, confused and uncertain about what to do, pretending it didn’t hurt. But ze pointedly focused zirself on not caring. Ze shouldn’t care. Ze weren’t supposed to. Nor were ze supposed to feel guilty for putting him in that position. Ze threw care away. 

What Lucifer had whispered into zir ear… 

Ze needed to distance zirself as far and quickly as possible. 

And so, the Prince was out and searching high and low for the rebels, throwing zirself into zir job. Ze met up with a surly Dagon to exchange paperwork and write-ups and orders and current Topside agents statuses, but ze kept continuously on the move. Beelzebub investigated strange going-ons the humans whispered of, pacts and deals being made out in the woods, and circled around the house of a midwife. 

However, after a strange and unnerving interaction ze steered clear. 

Ze had asked the elder midwife if there had been any bizarre characters shifting about, someone that made them feel unsafe, they replied in the negative but tried to get Beelzebub to lay out on the table for her. The midwife mentioned that Beelzebub’s abdomen and bladder probably weren’t enjoying the stays ze were wearing and needed an herb to aid with the swelling, and that zir body would be going through more changes soon; more drastic ones for being so small. 

Needless to say, ze had been taken aback and asked, dumbfounded, what the lady meant and the midwife replied, “You’re showing signs of new life, your gait must feel off, I’m sure of it.” 

But when Beelzebub all but growled out that ze weren’t pregnant the midwife eyed zir and insisted that they weren’t wrong, persisted. Pushing that Beelzebub “and your husband, should be pleased by the good news and have you attended to, properly.” 

But the Prince of Hell became rigid and clenched out that ze were not pregnant and the lady had better back off. 

And with a frown, and further scrutinizing the demon who looked plenty human, making Beelzebub scowl and back away from her, the mortal went through drawers until they found what she sought. The Lord of Hell saw her throw together guelder-rose, red raspberry leaf, and yarrow. The midwife put it into a small cheesecloth satchel, thrust it in zir hand, and told zir to brew it for tea. 

“You’ve lost the poor soul, that’s always tough, but you need to prepare for your next.” 

But the Prince was furious and almost stomped out, ignoring the proffered tincture mix and the midwife’s words. Beelzebub nearly cursed her blind but ze stopped zirself. A healer that could see that much needed their eyes and probably would be attending to many; though ze were so very close to acting on zir own malice. Instead, ze asked if the midwife knew others, who were expecting, who might give birth soon. Ze drilled the woman to be certain but left with barely any information. Ze left zir fliers to keep watch and headed over to the next town. 

It was three weeks later, no sign of exploding angels, and a further withdrawn Beelzebub encountered, instead, a cloud of darkness. Noxious and distinct and just what ze were looking for. Ze stumbled on it as it started to disperse, too long standing and too far away. Even too late, it was just as nefarious feeling as the last two and Beelzebub made for it, changing into trousers for mobility-sake, cringing while thinking of the new shit show ze knew awaited zir. 

The acrid scent of decaying rosemary hit zir nose first. 

The scene within wasn’t like the last two, though the baby was cradled within their mother’s womb. Dead. The midwife and their assistants, and two who resembled the Lifebearer, all lay in a strange formation around them, hands out to their sides. All Dead. Not a soul to be reaped. 

Five. Before the four, and prior to that three. There was chance of a pattern but didn’t feel like anything more than happenstance. Ze didn’t have the desire to figure out what the rebels were thinking, the demon walked around the corpses as carefully as ze could to the makeshift altar. And within the fleshy bassinet mother lay the infant. This one was more intact than the last but...missing things... 

Beelzebub grunted and clenched zir hands into fists at the sight, unabashed anger coursing through zir, making the building shake until ze pulled zirself back in. 

There was no cloth covering the child this time, so ze saw everything, but the baby was covered with blood and ze would have to wash them to see the sigil. As delicately as ze could, ze reached in to scoop up the child, dreading the memory but trying to be ready to focus on cleaning the little one. Zir thin fingers touched their head first and ze were gone, back into that which was forgotten with a screeching enchanter’s voice in zir ear. 

Beelzebub opened zir eyes to look upon zir fingers splayed up to the sky. Zir right touching zir left, touching the same finger on which, long After zir Fall, Gabriel had put a small gold trinket, that zir King found a pittance, while Beelzebub sited Greed and tricks as zir reason for it. But instead of a poesey ring, so named for the prose and flowers etched on it, was an actual ring of poesys of sorts. 

Small flowers rung around zir finger, so very small and tiny that one would assume they weren’t real. But somewhere in the depths of forgotten memories Beelzebub knew that these had been real, grown to remain small and fit zir delicate digit. 

They were intricately woven together and open to full bloom, but so tiny. Tinier than the breed was supposed to be, even in bud form. The thin green stems wove into a band that fit securely but ze could feel was not coarse or prickly. Ze kept touching it and then zir face, feeling the smile on zir lips was small, chancing to stay hidden, almost as though it was a secret. A tiny giggle ended in a pleased buzz. 

Something else was then placed on zir head. 

Flowers obscured zir vision, until they were moved back and ze felt fingers run through zir hair, moving strands around zir ears, making zir recall a Messenger angel in a field attentively framing zir face. 

Beelzebub felt sickened and awful. 

The being ze knew ze once Loved was just behind zir and touching zir and ze feared looking on them. It would be too much, already feeling wretched over their lost essence of Love encompassing zir, filling zir to the brim and envelope zir with such warmth and contentment. It made zir present self want to cry. Ze weren’t willing to face sweetness chased by betrayal. 

And if ze saw their face ze would break. 

But, somehow heeding zir wishes, zir past self sat still, just admiring the ring of flowers on zir finger, touching their hand in zir hair and...purring out another pleased buzz. The once angel closed zir eyes and felt them touch zir ringed hand. Ze were elated and seemed unable to stop the buzzing. 

Ze cursed and blessed as ze felt the angel behind zir draw zir close and kiss zir cheek gently, then zir neck, zir eyes still clenched tight all the while. They whispered something in zir ear and ze nodded in affirmation, but ze said nothing. 

And when ze opened zir eyes again ze felt their hand cup zir elbow and slide up to zir dainty wrist, pulling it to them, and kiss the palm of zir hand. It was followed by a sigh and another kiss to zir fingers. There was a tenderness to it that made Beelzebub’s former self’s cheeks perk up and zir present recoil. 

Ze leaned back to lay against their body, all too aware and cringing over how they felt against zir. Cursing how…happy ze felt…and unable to stop it. This wasn’t for zir...Beelzebub hated zirself for being so blinded by soft kisses and touches, and stupid rings... 

Their arms wrapped around zir as ze rolled over – the demon’s heart pounded in zir ears – and they buried their hands in zir hair making zir feel a blush stain zir. 

Ze begged, ze pleaded, ze yelled in zir head to NOT look up! To not look at their face! To not hear their voice! It was too much for zir. 

Beelzebub’s past self wrapped zir arms around their trim waist and breathed deep as ze buried zir face against their torso but smelled nothing. They felt how their hands ran over zir back, slipping between the folds of zir robes, back being exposed to the skies for wings ze couldn’t remember, landing on the small of zir back. A circuit was made back up zir sides, something was said, with no words, and Beelzebub responded that ze “don’t have to yet...” and heard zirself start to hum again. However, it wasn’t one of zir buzzing hums of pleasure, it was something that started off in a melody ze didn’t recognize. 

Just a lazy hum. 

Ze couldn’t recognize it and paid it very little attention, it meant nothing to zir current self...However, it seemed to please zir traitorous Lover and they continued to move their hands over zir back and then zir shoulders. Under zir elbows they went and down to meet zir clasped hands behind them. Hands found zir much smaller ones, unlacing them, and played with zir fingers, sliding their hand, smooth palm grazing over zir own. Large fingers followed and traced them, down from around zir wrist they had encircled with their fingers. Over zir delicate ring... 

Ze startled. 

Present, but past as well, just not as sharply, pulling zir hand away from zir poisonous Lover’s touch. 

“Careful. You’ll crush it...I...I wish to keep it, Love...” And ze heard a reply that melted into air and made zir mouth curl into a relaxed smile again, feeling zir past self become mischievous, scrapping zir nails down their backside. “Izn’t that an inappropriate use of a miracle?” 

And ze felt them pull zir up against their chest and the demon mentally lurched, desperate to be let out of the memory. And, again, Beelzebub just avoided it, feeling as ze leaned a little away from the being who had taken hold of zir shoulder and started to whisper in zir ear. They held zir gently but weren’t letting zir go even as ze hung relaxed in their hold. They buried their face into the crook of zir neck, kissing and nuzzling...and nipped zir. 

Ze tittered like a fool, far too happily for the Prince, and felt zir teeth on zir lips and a pleased sigh escape as the other being applied tongue and a pressure that was enough to make zir core tingle. The Prince jolted. Ze began to panic as the other being rolled zir over and laid zir out on the ground and the past started to fall away and ze opened zir eyes to look on the empty husk of the newest lost one, and Beelzebub fought to stop breathing. 

Ze collapsed to zir knees, hands dragging the child with zir, ze strangled zirself on noises ze wouldn’t permit as ze cradled the baby to zir; blood and gore staining. Ze sat like that for an unknown time until ze got to zir feet, face blank again, ignoring the silent tears that had managed to escape zir, and brought the child to the wash basin. It was so much more difficult to ignore and pretend it didn’t happen when ze were forced to host the memories. But as soon as Beelzebub cleaned the child the memories were hidden away. Ignoring betrayal with a tragedy. 

Ze finished up and set out again, moving until ze happened three towns over, closer to what the humans called Enfield. 

Just as ze made the town’s entrance a plume erupted and Beelzebub ran, grateful for zir forethought to dress in breeches and coat to walk the last roads towards the town, just two days before. No demonic miracle to tell on zir, zir features obscured by zir straightened hair, and running like a bat out of Hell, ze raced to the midwife’s house, found ze were at the back side of it, and launched zirself through the door right into a being that was too busy with his victim to notice before it was too late. 

The man was one of the Damned...and tall. He was trim and his hair was almost shoulder length, long mustache and short beard, dark hair, and strong enough to right himself, hand still wrapped around the dagger that gutted the young helper. Cold eyes took zir in, surprised but fell into a practiced form of a fighter. He lunged for Beelzebub with a shout and ze managed to dodge, sending him crashing into the cabinets. Ze didn’t register the sounds of the helpless dying. 

The Prince spun round, zir only blade ze kept quickly lodging within the once-man's chest. And just as his body melted into muck a second man appeared in the doorway. Blonde and broad, built like how a warrior would assume to look, with a bloodlusting look to his eye. Excitement sparkled in his eyes as he locked eyes on the Prince and he dropped his two victims as he made his way, stampeding towards Beelzebub who met him halfway. 

Zir foot met his knee and ze climbed him, missing the blade he thrust at zir by inches, and quickly wound zir legs around his neck, swinging zir body up, round his neck, and then brought him down. 

They both went down but the man stalled zir blade from piercing his face. 

He flipped zir off him and they both went to their knees. 

As soon as he could, he lunged at zir and dug a small blade into zir side but Beelzebub twisted and dislodged it and cracked zir foot against the shaved side of his head, knocking him over. A second man, one with no hair upon his head and grey eyes, came and landed his sword between Beelzebub’s shoulderblade and neck, just deep enough to be a worry. 

Ze ducked under the blade and used zir own propulsion to slip away and swung zir torso out wide, all on zir knees, and was missed by his second swing as ze ducked back. On getting closer the Prince swept a leg out to kick out his feet, landing him on the floor, and drove zir blade into his skull. The previous soul reached out to zir and dug his hand in zir newly gnarled wound on zir shoulder, trying in vain to pull zir back. Beelzebub shifted zir weight and turned round, flipping zir head under his arm and lunging close, burying zir blade deep into his gut, digging it deeper with each grunt, till he too melted. 

On zir feet again, Beelzebub burst into the next room, disrupting a soul that had parts of their victim’s throat in their mouth and smiled devilishly at the Demon Prince. As he threw the victim at the Prince, Beelzebub burst into flies and descended on him, leaving nothing of him, not even bones. 

Another of the Damned rammed into zir reformed corporation and into the wall, but Beelzebub dug a claw into his chest, digging in through his sternum and cracked so many bones as ze plowed through. It was then that the man called out before fully succumbing to his injury for another man to, “Finish it! The bitch is wounded!” and the Prince could hear the chanting of an old man, the weakening pleas of a woman, and the strangled noises of a baby. 

Zir eyes went wide and ze ruptured and ran through zir last assailant to try and attack the final man standing. But it was clear he was different. Old and grey, ratty hair and beard, very lean. Two of his fingers that were DIGGING into the child’s stomach were crooked, and he had a long scar on his chin, but he had a faint light radiating off him. He thrust his free hand up at the Prince, Beelzebub landing on it on the same wounded shoulder, and ze walked into the pain, literally, storming closer to him, pushing zir corporation through it. 

It wasn’t the worst wound. 

And ze got close enough to jam zir blade under his armpit and up. It caused him to slump and Beelzebub broke the rest of his arm off to try to keep the baby from falling off their dying mother. As soon as they took hold, a memory flit into zir vision and zir head hurt from the Damned singer. It couldn’t be helped. 

Beelzebub was standing before Lucifer, beautiful as He always was and had been, filled with His Heavenly Grace, and looking down at Beelzebub with a soft pitying gaze. There were others around them, a small circle surrounded by more, but ze could only recognize a few faces out of the corner of zir eyes. They were all looking at zir. But ze were focused on zir King. 

“Break your ties to him, ~~~~. Break his symbol of false promise.” And Beelzebub looked down at what was in zir hands and felt zir guts twist in tandem with zir past’s self. 

The ring, perfectly preserved and as beautiful as the previous memory. The little blooms looked unharmed. 

“But I-” 

“He has abandoned you, as you are no longer seen as worthy, not in his and not in Her eyes...Don’t do this to yourself...” 

They could feel there was not an ounce of a lie in His words...and the hidden memories in the back of zir head told zir that He was telling nothing but the Truth. Untampered. The demon realized then ze felt defeated at such words and didn’t question it. Believed it. It felt right. It didn’t matter though, whatever had happened had and the Morningstar was not lying...and both Beelzebub’s past and present selves felt painfully in sync with each other. 

And ze felt tears start to well up and the pain amplify in zir chest, but ze somehow knew...reasoned...ze couldn’t hold on to zir Lover. Not if he hadn’t held onto zir. Ze blinked away the tears that threatened zir and in a swift breath of air, a small spark of zir Grace, the ring fell apart and the vibrant Life of the little blooms Died. 

It was gone and, as ze looked up at zir future King and bottled up zir feelings, the feeling of desolation, ze felt forced acceptance. Dissonant with zir emotions and strangely zir corporation too, ze felt odd...there was a familiarity to this past Beelzebub that felt...akin to Falling in zir early days...zir Grace felt wrong. Like an echo of it. A ripple. But the anger and pain in zir heart felt more important at the time – easier to focus on because ze felt fear – zir emotions pulsed in zir, and ze tried to keep them under control. Tried to be pragmatic. Ze could feel zirself trying to tell zirself that it had to be ignored. 

Ze felt tired. As though ze had been trying to fight it for a long time. Zir former self felt sick and empty. 

-This is for the best...Nothing more to it... 

Beelzebub blinked back into the present. The Damned souls were all gone, the last just melting, Lifebearer dead, but the child was not, struggling to breath and hold on to their meek Life. 

The Prince’s eyes widened and ze acted fast, scooping up the baby, ze tried to compress the crude gash in their chest! Tried to think! 

Ze ran out into the dark garden in the back and found herbs to aid zir, anything, actually praying but to no one. Completely silent in zir urgent search. Ze could NOT function. The baby was weakening and ze felt adrift in panic ze could not quell. Ze were a healer with science not with magics! 

Ze ran back into the house with a few things that could aid in coagulation but knew, in zir warring thoughts, that it would be a lost cause if ze didn’t do something else. However, Beelzebub wasn’t prepared to watch the baby Die before zir eyes and focused zirself; ze couldn’t just let it happen. 

After a frustrating and dreadful moment that looked like ze would indeed fail, Beelzebub decided to do something that ze knew could POTENTIALLY work but ze didn’t believe zirself capable of. It was drastic and dangerous and could only further condemn zir by zir King, but ze didn’t dismiss the option. Ze could reason it away as the small soul could be deemed more important to Hell than Beelzebub breaking a rule, like this. A soul perished was a soul that could have gone to Hell. 

Ze took a deep shuddering breath, drawing up zir own infernal essence within zir, and let it out carefully over the baby. 

Praying it was enough. 

The baby choked and Beelzebub startled. 

It was too volatile, and the mortal child shrieked, and the Demon Lord panicked. Zir Lifeforce was not safe for a human Life, ze knew that, and harmed even if it did help. Ze didn’t know for certain, not many of zir kind had tried this sort of thing and Beelzebub’s own essence was different more than the rest. Rotting. 

Scrambling and engrossed in trying to keep the baby alive, the petite demon didn’t hear the being moving up to the front door of the house. It was the turn of the knob that alerted zir. The door swung open and Beelzebub had baby in arm and blade raised, at the ready. Ze stood ready to pounce, last blade left gifted by an angel drawn, and zir intense glare did not drop. Beelzebub was like a frightened cat ready to lash out, nebulous eyes flashing. Zir breathing was ragged and black sludge was oozing from zir wound but ze would not stand down. 

Ze were not expecting dove grey and silver, swirling flowers down a waist coat, and darkening lavender eyes focusing on zir... 

“...Gabriel?” 

The Archangel was taken aback by the scene laid before him. The Dead around zir feet, the puddles of brackish goop around the room, the tiny screaming infant in his tiny wounded wife’s arms… 

“Beelzebub?! What on Earth-“ 

“Help.” 

Poisonous Hope bloomed in zir chest at his appearance, and ze did not have the time to fight it off. 

“What?!” 

“I need your help.” Ze didn’t look down at the squirming human that was in zir arms and zir terrified gaze pinned Gabriel. “Pleaze, Gabriel.” 

“What’s happened?” He crossed the threshold of the house in quick steps, spurred into action, recognizing the scent of rosemary and the scent of rot, and of fresh human blood. He was unnerved by it, this was the epicenter of another aura and Beelzebub was there, pleading for his help. 

“I managed to stop them but the child iz Dying! I NEED you to help me. Now, Mezzenger!” And ze met him and revealed the little form covered in gore of the Damned and mortal blood, weakly fussing in the demon's arms. They were very nearly Dead… 

Looking the infant over, Gabriel knew that there was nothing he could do and his eyes fell on Beelzebub, shaking his head. 

“Bee…I can’t…this child…” he wanted to help but he knew they were too far gone. Gabriel reached out his hands to touch the child, to sooth it with a bit of his Heavenly essence but Beelzebub stepped back, rearing back as though scalded. Ze knew, ze somehow knew if the child didn’t keep fighting, they would die. Ze knew what Gabriel had planned to do. “They’re destined to meet Azriel, now.” 

Cursing zir foolishness and yet still hanging onto the last shred of Hope ze couldn’t cast off. 

“I invoke my right to the favor owed. Save this child, Archangel.” 

But he only looked sadly on zir and could not look on the small form in zir arms. “Not for this. You know I can’t-“ 

“Their soul will be taken by the one who marked them. Not scorned Azrael. No deliverance to Michael. If we let this baby die, their soul is forfeit to the one who marked them, and another imbalance will occur.” Ze scowled, blade still drawn, ze were ready to fight for this one, even Gabriel. Ze wouldn’t allow this child to die. Not this one. “Pleaze. I will give you anything. My complete and utter-“ 

“Give me the child. You said the child’s soul will be consumed? Even after you’ve stopped the escapees?” 

“They’re already marked. I cannot break the sigil, they’re too weak and I don’t know how, yet. But if they die, then yes.” Ze hadn’t handed him the baby and eyed him, clutching the Dying one close, blade twitching. “Seal the transaction and take your feather back, Archangel.” 

“I’m not taking back the favor; I’m doing this for a trade: Information. And you have to fully work with me.” He held his arms out, sure of the exchange. “Give me the mortal, Bee.” 

The Prince had a choice. Ze had to trust him and stay in his presence, tell secrets, everything that ze just got reprimanded for, or let the baby Die. The demon had no real issue choosing. 

“A deal is struck. Hurry, angel.” Ze handed the small one over, fully trusting him, willing to trust him. Hoping... 

With the chase of a shriek and song, he saw zir standing before him, looking somehow so vulnerable and yet made of steel all at once. Resolute and standing a bit further off, out of reach, in the memory that hit him on taking the child. 

Ze didn’t look very different in feature, with exception to zir momentary openly surprised expression and curly hair versus zir now straight and different clothes. Zir eyes looked tired. However, unlike how he would have assumed of a being of Heaven, Beelzebub’s former self did not look pleasantly surprised after the shock slowly went away. 

When that wore off…ze just looked sad...distraught...uncertain... 

And next, ze looked like ze were fighting it, eyes quickly shifting from one spot on the floor between them to the next. Fidgeting. Uncomfortable. Zir lips drew tight and then ze expelled a breath that ze didn’t need. Ze kept zir eyes down for too long and the present Gabriel reliving these memories wanted to draw close and draw zir face up to look at him. 

Zir eyes…zir eyes that the Prince of Hell had kept with zir through even zir Fall and Damnation gave zir away to him even through the past fog of forgotten memory. Ze weren’t as good at hiding it then and he couldn’t reconcile with it. Zir eyes should have been shining with mirth instead of shutting off, dimming. 

Gabriel had no clue why, but he knew it deep in his very unnecessary heart ze were sad for…his head hurt from trying to grasp at why. 

And for some reason he was the one who felt completely empty on looking at zir; he was devoid, once again, feeling hollowed out. The Archangel of the Dawn could detect nothing from his former self. It was as though he was not present, like this wasn’t his memory. As though he were blocking himself off from feeling anything again. 

And his present self wanted to smack his past self into clarity. 

Seeing Beelzebub, beautiful in all zir Heavenly Glory despite zir sadness, zir hair wavy but bound up at the base of zir neck, was jarring in only the fact that it was both the Prince and not. Loose strands curling around zir face in gentle curls. Before became superimposed on the After and then flickered back to the Before. 

-What could have possibly made you so sad like this, Bee… 

Ze cleared zir throat, tried to wipe away the emotions into what Gabriel knew was more akin to zir present – tried to, anyway – and adjusted zir robes, settling zir hands behind zir back. “What can I help you with, Archangel?” 

But before he could open his mouth in answer, before he could yell at his own memory to FIX it, he felt a hand and voice pull him back to the present. 

“Gabriel? The baby! Hurry!” 

The Archangel Gabriel sprung to action. 

He placed the small one on the nearest table and Beelzebub took pace of the room, from window to window, and door to door, keeping watch for attack and blade at the ready. He had to fully concentrate for what he was about to do. He reasoned it was his only option and that to restore some balance it was warranted. 

“I’m sorry, little one.” 

Beelzebub stopped abruptly and near ran to his side, afraid, just in time to witness Gabriel give the nearly Dead child a breath of Life, a part of his own essence. The little one’s nearly crushed lungs quickly inflated on receiving it and let out a shriek that was piercing but he turned to the Prince and nodded, letting zir know all was well. The poor soul was not going to Die that day and Beelzebub pushed past him to the child’s side, inspecting the angel’s work. 

“The wound-” 

“Already healed. Come on, we need to go.” He tried to take zir hand but ze pulled away and swaddled the infant, miracling up a clean bunch of fabric to turn into a sling for the small bab and around the angel’s broad shoulder and back. 

“Take the child and head for your mortal’s nearest sanctuary. The Damned won’t be able to cross.” 

“Whoa! Wait! That’s not what we agreed on, I’m not going without you.” He took hold of zir by the waist and tried to keep zir planted before him. It was all he could keep his hands on, ze were too busy putting the wailing child into the angel’s sling, careful with every touch. 

“It’s necessary. I need to make sure you’re not followed, there were more here than what we had learned of. There could be others. Any left can follow me away as decoy.” Ze tried to pull away but Gabriel pulled zir back, refusing to let zir go this time, Beelzebub glared at him. 

“No. You’re hurt. And I don’t know if you’ll come back to me.” 

“I have to, we made a deal. And you can’t break that binding without me...I don’t think.” Ze threw a look out the window and inspecting the street. “You need to do as I say.” 

“Beelzebub, I’ll not let you go off like this. Not again.” 

Zir eyes blazed and zir teeth barred, clenching in frustration, and carefully covered up the child’s face, touching their cheek. “We don’t have a choice; they’ll be after the baby as the ritual wasn’t completed. I need you to protect them. Pleaze, Love.” Ze met his gaze with a razor sharp glare, a command, and through the anger he saw the desperate pleading, fear hidden in zir eyes. “I will find you again, Love, I promize. You have to truzt me.” 

“Bee, wait! I-“ 

“Conceal the crying away with a miracle so az not to alert anyone.” Ze pulled away. Ze miracled up a baby sized form swaddled in the same cloth. It mimicked the baby’s dying sounds. “Wait a few minutes before leaving after I do.” And ze disappeared into the darkness, reaffixing zir cocked hat to zir head and looking around in the dark of the night as ze went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a little more research for this one to figure out what midwives in the 1700s would give someone who miscarried and have, in the past, read up a bit of history about what midwives would teach in their trade, and more about what an expecting person’s body would be like. These things were all looked for by skilled midwives in patients. Beelzebub would have still been showing signs that zir body had changed due to zir pregnancy and a very good midwife would have been able to see it and Beelzebub wasn’t exactly certain how long ze were under that little spell that Lucifer kept zir in suspension. 
> 
> And the baby...I have had sections of this story kind of accidentally grow after introducing the first child sacrifice, that and Bee’s earlier miscarriage...this baby surviving came about shortly around when those two ideas happened (I wrote Bee’s miscarriage first and while that was going on the children sacrifice became a storyline and then I was like........ze would save one. Bee would do anything to save even one.) I fought with the numbers and worked mentally on trying to figure out HOW many was workable/important to the story and Bee and Gabriel’s memories that they were going to be shown. I REALLY wanted to be careful with all that. I didn’t want to just spew awful carnage or waste memories or do something too mundane and thoughtless with said memories. I needed to find the balance. 
> 
> There is one more of Gabriel’s that I’ll be sharing, for certain, and it’s very specific and done for a reason. You’ll see. I’ll explain why he had that one after it happens, though I’m hoping you’ll all get why on some levels. 
> 
> Circling back to the new baby: I had planned that ze would find one baby alive, and just barely. Gabriel would stumble in THEN (so yes, that was going to be a thing) but he’s familiar enough with Bee’s aura and the souls and situation to know that the Bee wasn’t responsible, and then help zir. It would just be out of necessity because the Archangel IS hung up on rules, Heaven isn’t shy on the death of children and even Gabriel has done his share of the smiting of them...but rules, proper reasoning, and Beelzebub’s quick wits made it something he could work around. So yeah...they’re stuck with a baby...this is what I meant in one comment to S. that there was a theme of children that I had NOT intended. So everything, zir miscarriage, the children being murdered and sacrificed, the baby being found alive, they all just fell out of my head as it went, and it was...just not exactly planned to go this direction. This whole arc wasn’t planned except for small sections I was playing with and then covid happened, so I wrote a lot in my isolation. I hope...I’m doing okay with this story and that its good. (Please let me know, I feel adrift, especially after the last chapter.) 
> 
> Despite my uncertainty, I do have to say I liked how this part actually played out. I wasn’t sure how it was going from point A to B. I had been having a few chapters be more difficult to write, but this one was easy after finally thinking on it. It just flowed. The memories were the most difficult part and how I didn’t want to be boring with being back and forth. I do think every memory has to be important and shared properly, both mundane but poignant. Bee has a lot of issues with physical and emotional intimacy so I always try to be careful with what is shared Gabriel has a lot of baggage with his lost Lover and then what he’s been learning about Bee, from Before...so there’s that too. 
> 
> Everyone’s comments on the last chapter have been really appreciated. I will always be super appreciative of any and all that you have for me; comments, questions, CON-CRIT, song suggestions, maybe a question about my mental health thrown in there...because seriously these are messed up things going on up there...holy crow, I have surprised and scared myself. (Seriously, if you were to ever see even what I have on my social media or met me you’d be side-eyeing me SO hard, going “WAHT!?”) 
> 
> Kudos are always a way to appease my troubled heart and soul. Really all of it makes my day just a little better that you took the time to say anything about this piece. And still sorry!!! I’m SO SORRY about all this!!! These two...are just great for angst?...(Please know that I’m just looking on at my screen as I type all of this with a terrified expression on my face. I’m not even kidding, the cringe is very real.)


	18. Come Away, Mortal Child, For The World’s More Full Of Weeping Than You Could Understand...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Beelzebub have separated once again to try and get the baby to safety, while Beelzebub distracts. Ze are willing to give a lot of zirself to do so and Gabriel is left in a difficult position, with child in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Body horror, fighting, blood, issues with dying baby (spoiler: they DON'T die, but that doesn't make it less tough to read through). Let me know if I've missed anything...I actually think this is it...
> 
> Just think that baby is crying throughout and baby is neither Crowley nor Aziraphale. It’s a lot of unnerving in here. 
> 
> There is so much going on, both in life and in this story, so I’m trying to make sure what I bring you is comprehendible. This chapter is a powder keg and very intense, at least I hope you think so and that you like it? We’ll find out.

The Lord of the Flies was frustrated and relieved all at once. 

Gabriel had found zir again and ze went running to him for help. It was just in time to do something ze couldn’t. Something that if ze couldn’t find a way to do...ze wouldn’t have been able to handle the failure. Not now. Not after all that. Not after... 

Ze tried to mask zir aura, let it trail out enough to seem too wounded to do much more and ran into the darkness; without seeming as though ze were raising a flag to follow. Ze NEEDED for any stragglers or watchers to follow zir away from zir angel and the baby. So, ze let zir desperation seep out of zir, it wasn’t a lie, ze were for their safety. Ze couldn’t handle another baby Dying. Not after... 

Ze couldn’t shake the feeling, so the demon would use it as bait with the scent of zir blood, mixed with the baby’s. 

Gabriel would keep them safe. Ze had no choice but to trust him. Ze trusted him. Ze had to. He promised. 

It wasn’t long before someone attacked zir, jumping out from around a corner and slashing out one of those strange monstrous claws the Damned shouldn’t have been capable of making. She clipped out a curse as she missed the Prince and thrust out her other hand that gripped a long scissor. 

It nearly landed a blow on the demon; however, it was the woman’s claw that rounded back and slashed down zir front, slashing at zir breasts and damaging zir shirts and stays; that infernal contraption actually keeping some of zir unscathed. The fly demon merely grunted and headbutt the Damned soul, making the woman rear back. 

The Damned woman’s high forehead split from the impact but she only clutched her head with a dainty hand and growled at the Prince before lashing out with her shears again, teeth clenched. The light of the moon, that made both being’s pale skin seem to glow in an ethereal light, revealed wicked and strange canine teeth in the woman’s mouth, filed down. Most likely transformed in her Damnation to reveal more of her cruel nature. Ze did recognize the woman as being one of the human’s more prolific murderers. 

She did it all for beauty. She did it to keep hold of her looks. Vanity. And there was still a touch of that beauty in this woman, but it was more haunting and devastating, ugly when she turned her head and beautiful when she turned back. Her own Hell wasn’t haunted by her victims. No. Her Hell was caged with mirrors that showed fractured versions of herself and, on when she’d peer at herself for too long, would be replaced by a being more beautiful than she. 

Beelzebub had intimate knowledge of her prison, after all, the Prince had crafted it, zirself. 

The woman was fast on her feet but Beelzebub was faster. Stronger. But the Prince was trying to gain more attention. All to grant zir angel more time. 

“I’ll have your baby and bleed her dry.” 

Beelzebub remained impassive, lips locked in a grimace and wishing the woman had kept her mouth shut. With each snap of the woman’s wrist and each dodge, ze watched the shadows, seeing another being was indeed waiting to pounce. So, when Prince Beelzebub stepped just out of the way of zir opponent’s path she kept going and ze kicked her into the way of the second being. This one nearly getting bowled over from the force of it, but Beelzebub impaled them together, not letting the man even get a second in. 

Ze ran on and let the fake wailing child gain attention of even the humans, getting called out to shut the child up. But that was good, ze needed the attention on zir. The sound of humans would seem inadvertent enough. 

Ze were pleased to see a small mish-mash horde of fiends as ze rounded a corner into the town square, Damned and even two of the Fallen, block zir path. As soon as they saw the Prince, they ran to take zir down, blades or strange inhuman claws out in force. 

Ze leapt at them and collided with one, breaking their ribs on impact with zir knees, tucking and rolling to the ground on landing, avoiding the swing of a blade. Ze swung out with the weapon ze had, spinning on zir knees and slicing into several ankles until ze were grabbed and pulled to zir feet. 

A broad man punched zir in the face, then nabbed at the swaddle, but the Prince hardly moved from the blow and dislodged his hand by cutting it off. The next second had zir stabbing the attacker in the chest, blade excellent for such close combat. Just as ze were about to pull zir weapon away, the bastard burst forward and bit zir neck. Ze should have figured it was coming. 

Ze grunted and growled and stabbed him again, making him nothing more than a puddle of goop at zir feet that ze didn’t hesitate to turn from onto zir next attacker. 

A smaller being, one short enough for Beelzebub to be of similar height to, tried a similar tactic to the last, snapping her too wide jaw that seemed to dislodge on opening. However, Beelzebub made short work of the soul with zir dagger thrust in her mouth. Two more leapt onto zir before ze could dislodge zir blade and tried to weigh zir down into the dirt, digging sharp claws into zir shoulders. 

Ze kneed the one at zir front between his legs and grabbed the second by the scruff of his neck to dig zir own claws into him. The fly demon felt zir fingers sink through muscle, ligaments and tendons, and every bone that connected his head to his body. Beelzebub twisted and his head was torn asunder. 

That left six. Six guarded little monsters who thought they once had the upper hand, backing up from a devil they learned that you shouldn’t piss off. 

But a burst of rotting flame ripped through all, sprouting from their insides, and setting them aflame in a brilliant light that started slow...and then consumed them all in a burst of brilliant light. A beacon. 

It erupted and lit up the night sky and the devil stalked off into the night in search of more problems. 

******************************* 

Gabriel was a mess. 

The memories he had been shown, his wife there one minute and leaving him the next, again, this time leaving him with a baby, all had him shook up; he couldn’t believe he had just traded their Life for zir compliance and presence. 

-Right. Foolish me, asking a demon for any form of help or for her to stay by my side. Of course, she wouldn’t do that. 

And now he was alone. 

Well, relatively alone. The child was still wailing, and he could sense a strange torrent of forces within them that he wasn’t certain if he was reading correctly. It felt like a whirlwind of a battle, it wasn’t natural. It was part him and part…if he reached for it it felt like Beelzebub, and that left him with not only a missing wife and a wailing mortal infant, but so many more questions. 

But he still did as asked and went to deliver the child to safety within Holy grounds. 

He concealed himself and the baby’s physical presence as well as the crying. The Archangel didn’t even need to wait for zir to leave, and was confused how ze wouldn’t think of that, but after time fighting with his thoughts figured ze were too panicked to think clearly. He had not expected zir to barter for the baby’s Life. And that glint in zir eyes...a different fear. 

It had seemed clearly etched on zir features. 

Ze may have been scowling as soon as zir eyes had taken in his image but he could see it. Not just in zir eyes. The way ze held the child, the way zir blade was held in defense, and the way ze drew back as soon as ze sensed he was about to do something to the newborn. 

Beelzebub sounded desperate even in zir frustrated clipped growls at him. 

But then ze left them. 

That was more than frustrating. Zir quick instructions to head for sanctuary, to a church, confused him as he was uncertain how ze could follow. Despite both Lucifer’s flippant declarations and Beelzebub’s words, said while suffering a breakdown, the angel didn’t need reminding of where ze belonged. 

He wasn’t confused. 

But he was an angel whom had to take care of those in need. More and more, that simply included Prince Beelzebub. He made that promise. They didn’t need to fight. Not yet. And he remained convicted in his beliefs, the facts, that as ze were his wife he had those obligations already, Damnit. 

And now he was panicking a bit (a lot) with no wife and a baby in his arms, quietly hurrying through the night. He really couldn’t get over any of it. 

A being rushed past him. Gabriel had remained invisible to all but still kept to the side, having people walk too close felt invasive to him. So he was just missed by the being who seemed consumed of darkness. They just seemed like a dark shadow, a flash of it. 

And then they stopped short. Making the angel stop short. 

The being sniffed the air and at the turn of their head he saw a woman-like being. Her eyes looked hollowed out, a deep brown, her hair pulled back to expose the most skin on her heart-shaped face. Her skin seemed sickly and in that moment Gabriel recognized her. 

She was often prayed for...Her family, who had ties to the Archangel through their house name, whispering to him to guide her through her difficult times in childbearing, and even medical practices. 

It wasn’t until he discovered she had been brokering deals with a devil, Prince Leviathan from what he learned, that he knew she was a lost cause. She had no care for what she was doing to others and used the bodies of the innocent in sacrifice and poultices. 

Even her own. She had been using her own gift to bear Life to bring Death and create tinctures from her reaping. 

This was a highly awkward a way to meet again. Especially when she had her nose to the sky and turned her glittering beady eyes on him and the wailing child. It took a second for him to remember that she shouldn’t be able to see him or the child in his arms. He didn’t know how that could happen, becoming progressively weary of the slow turn of her head. Her sight finding him. 

A ravenous look came to her face and she ran towards them casting a light from her hands that seemed only made of more darkness. The Archangel turned to shield the young one and took the stinging hit to his exposed back and huffed. He could feel how his coat’s fabric burst and his skin stung. 

Needless to say, Gabriel was more than miffed about the damage, but he had no choice but to ignore it. 

The angel did only exactly what his body was trained to do and cast a flare of Divine energy from his hand, lighting up the area and sending out a thunderous clap, making child screech and the Damned fly back. The action had been automatic. 

-Okay…That was unexpected for everyone. 

However, the woman was back on her feet and rushing him again. Gabriel drew his Heavenly sword from the ether and thrust it right into her gut just as she cast a burn. Before perishing, she was able to take hold of his wrist, leaving a burn. It seared, but it wasn’t Hellfire so he would heal. 

A second burst of light in the sky and he felt a disturbance on an ethereal level. It made every function of his corporation stop just to take in the light and feel the demonic energy that came with it. It was definitely something that would disrupt the mortals’ nighttime routines and draw attention. He stood a moment too long in shock. 

-…Dammit, wife! I swear to the Almighty, if you’ve set yourself on fire again, I’m chaining you to a bed! 

Was all he could think as he ran to where he remembered the church was even if he knew his thought would never be an actual threat to a demon, nor angel. Gabriel just didn’t know what else to come up within his aggravation. He had heard someone say something akin to his threat somewhere before...he thought it was a threat, at least. 

He didn’t run into another of the Damned and wondered why it was that the woman had been able to…sniff him and the baby out. It had been unnerving, and it only added to his worries. 

Thankfully, it seemed that the rest of his way was left clear, and he found a path that led to church ground’s edge. He wouldn’t pass over into Holy ground with Beelzebub nowhere to be found. 

-This is stupid. She can’t pass to find us…but the baby… 

Frustration peaked in him and seemed to disturb the baby more, their shrieks cutting into the night over the roar of the fire in the distance, over the growing sounds of alarm from the night watchmen and his flock. The fire wasn’t that far from the midwife’s and seemed to keep to one area. Infernal in its design, only serving to worry the Archangel more. 

He kept silent though he didn’t need to, he tried to hush the child’s crying by bopping them in his arms. Then the angel started to try talk the baby into Peace. That seem to make it worse. And then, out of his own anxiety that he would never admit to on account of being an angel of the Lord, started pacing back and forth, whispering words to comfort. 

“She will find us. She promised.” 

Gabriel could only watch for trouble and wait in worry. He’d wait. Though he did not want to, hating it, the Messenger of God did this all for nearly three hours, becoming more and more concerned with each passing minute and unable to feel solid signs of the demon. 

-Damnit, Bee...why do you have to do things this way? 

Each new eruption of fire that he could not account for the reason behind made his heart pound a little louder. The baby seemed to only get more upset and the singer in his head...had long started to cry softly...once more struggling with her song... 

Thinking back on it, it had started even before he reached the village – that Damned house – suspecting nothing but an infernal scene of Death with the billowing of sickness and depravity. The singer had startled him with a sharp cry and then unnerving silence, and he watched the cloud begin its ascent, staining the sky with brackish smoke that no one but an ethereal would notice. His Love remained quiet for an unnervingly long time until she started again as a soft cry. The crying wasn’t desperate...just...just sad...and it didn’t abate on seeing Beelzebub safe. 

It was soft and rather depressing, and he couldn’t stop his heart from aching at the sound of it. 

He switched his focus to the present, ignoring the crying angel, as he more pressing matters than trying to solve a mystery that resided within his mind. The Archangel actually avoiding looking down at the small being wrapped in his arms, despite the want to check on them. Gabriel just kept saying he had to keep his eyes out for trouble or Beelzebub. 

He didn’t know what else to do! 

Speaking of trouble; he watched as the smoke rolled through the streets, seeming to snake about and crawl between crevices. It seemed venomous and cloying. Unnatural. And when it began to swirl up in little fractured off mounds the Archangel readied his sword and tried to hold the child with care. He wouldn’t let anything happen to the innocence. 

Eight beings stood before him, though they could not cross the Holy ground behind. One step and Gabriel could bring the child to safety as Beelzebub had begged. The Archangel was too confused as to why they seemed to all…smell them. Sniffing the air like bloodhounds. 

He grit his teeth in frustration, trying to feel their energy. The first came from his left and tried to stick him with a dull looking blade, probably something found in Hell, and missed as Gabriel sidestepped away. He parried as he went, with a mighty force that made his first opponent nearly fall on the floor. Gabriel then swung back up and struck the Damned in the jaw but was unable to stop the rest from attacking as the angel watched them step from the pillars of shadow. 

All swinging wildly causing the angel to guard more than strike as he tried to take his steps back and only heard the child wail in a way he had only associated with those on the battlefields. 

He drew into himself to draw out his Divine Grace, when out of the shadows a demon stepped; zir own form of sauntering. Stalking. 

Wrath. 

He could sense a fury in Beelzebub that ignited zir eyes in the dark. 

Something about the Prince made all draw their attention on zir. 

Something terrifying. 

Even the angel felt weary. Zir small form did not seem covered in that much more blood, nor charred, as Gabriel was worried of, but he could see that fury leeched out of zir on an occult level. He was nearly certain ze could physically hit them all with it and send them back to Hell. But that seemed to not do for zir. 

Zir shirt and coat were slashed down the front, shredded, but it was only on zir chest, where the shirts parted, that skin and blood could be seen. False child held carefully against zir. Ze were slouching a bit, head tilted, a little trickle of blood there, and the Heavenly being could see zir eyes flick from one being to the next until zir Heavenly blues landed on him. However, he could tell from the way zir eyes unfocused that ze were unseeing. Roving the space. He couldn’t deny the glittering orbs of blue, sparkling as though caught in the light of a fire, didn’t frighten him. Not when murderous intent was radiating from zir. 

But it didn’t matter. Zir eyes were back on the Damned. 

Ze wasted not another second and lashed out, Beelzebub spun out the false one from zir arms and let the bundle collide with one too close to the angel. A solid flip-kick into the face of the nearest on-coming Damned, sending him back. Ze thrust zir bloodstained blade at the next and cut clear through her, dodged under the blade of the first, and jammed a clawed hand through the face of a third. Ze tore his head off and used his disembodied head to crack the skull of the nearest, sending him to his knees. 

Gabriel didn’t have time to be shocked or impressed. 

He stepped into the battle and impaled one of the Damned that was rushing for him. Another tried to lash out and he used the first to batter into them, twisting his blade just enough to shred through them both. They deflated into thick sludge, like a balloon deflating in one’s hand. A third tried to strike at him, catching his chest, just missing the baby, when Gabriel was able to side step and kick the being right into Holy Ground. They melted too. 

But Gabriel hadn’t been able to account for the fourth. 

The man with long brown hair, nearly the length of Gabriel’s, but didn’t shine healthy like the angel’s had switched targets. His deep-set eyes had changed from Demon Prince to Archangel and found Gabriel vulnerable. He rushed him. 

Just as Gabriel went to turn and guard himself, Beelzebub was between the three. Right in the Damn’s path and finding a dull blade embedded in zir stomach. 

No one was expecting that, nor were they expecting Beelzebub to growl and the blade to crack. He was shaking as he got front row seats to the Prince of Hell’s anger. Ze rushed him, forcing the being further away from child and angel, and rose a slender hand to let talon like claws slam into the Damned soul’s face and drop back into the depths of Hell. 

Ze stumbled, nearly toppling, but Gabriel caught zir, slipping out from his own hidden pocket from the human world but could not scoop zir up with child in his arms. 

“What the Hell, Beelzebub?! We made a deal.” 

“And I am keeping to it.” Ze growled low, shoulders back but head lowered, zir jaw jut. “I’m here. Why aren’t you on Holy Ground, Gabriel? Are they safe?” Ze huffed out, breathing labored now, but ze righted zirself and took one long steadying draw of air. Ze checked their surroundings and then turned round and started looking over the baby, touching their tiny cheeks and inspecting them to ensure there were no new wounds. It took a long minute, Gabriel still cradling the new one in his arms but his attention was on the Prince before him. 

Zir face changed, turned...soft...only for a moment. 

On seeing such gentle gestures, zir stoic face morphing into that tired relief for all of a split second, absorbed...Gabriel couldn’t really stay mad. His chest didn’t feel as restricted anymore and even the baby quieted a little...though the singer did not stop... 

But that momentarily softened face, zir parted mouth, zir sigh that told him that just one second held a sudden and sure calm, all gave Gabriel a bit of Peace. Ze were before him again. Beelzebub was there with him. 

“We were waiting for you...” 

“Coulda done that over there.” Ze growled out and glared up at him and, seeing zir tilt zir head, he could see that some of the black was not shadow. Not zir black shirt or coat. Nor was it dirt. 

It was more of zir own blood. Another bleeding wound. 

He huffed and fought every urge in his corporation to grab at zir and get a closer inspection, to see how badly ze were injured. Pull zir closer and try to press into zir his concern over zir well-being. The sight of zir in such a state made him livid. But he kept it in check. He knew what could happen if he didn’t. 

Even though he knew that part of him was to condemn and harm the demon, he couldn’t. He simply could not. 

The baby whimpered and Beelzebub grimaced and said something he did not hear, and ze grunted and almost curled in on zirself. Just a fraction of a movement. But Gabriel had noticed. 

He found his free hand had tried to steady zir again, finding a new wound that he Damn well knew wasn’t superficial. It made him grimace again, and he shook his head, incredulous over their current situation and zir state and actually growled out at zir. 

“Are you TRYING to discorperate yourself?!” 

“I’m not zo weak az to be done in by Holy Ground!” 

“Not what I mean. Look at what you’ve done to yourself, Bee...” 

“Not yourz to worry about.” 

“I don’t care ab-!” 

“You should be celebrating thiz, Mezzenger. Now, come on, we have to go! Now!” And, before he could protest, with more force than Gabriel thought zir capable of at the moment, ze pulled him by his hand and they went in search of a sanctuary that would work for both demon and angel. 

They tried to find a place to hide, somewhere that could take them in in their desperation, somewhere that could keep them from prying eyes. A place of refuge and to figure out what to do with a wailing child. The Prince of Gluttony started to look paler with each pass of torchlight and Gabriel’s concern only grew, it did not help that ze kept squeezing his hand every few minutes and he could feel a tremble in that grip. 

It was the first time that ze actually seemed to acknowledge pain and it only raised the alarm bells. And that damned Lover who would usually whisper to him in muffled tones, melody now clear from hearing her in an enchanter’s dubiously gifted memory, was still crying. 

He distracted himself with how zir hand felt in his. How often ze would squeeze. Even when zir grip would shudder. He wanted to ask zir to stop, to take a break but Beelzebub’s eyes were taking in every corner, every house. Ze were remaining sentinel and guard, watching the shadows. He didn’t know what was going through zir head, that Beelzebub was searching for something. But ze did not find it anyway. 

In the middle of the town, the two found a little hovel of a room occupied by two Lovers that had ran away for the night. 

The Messenger of God imparted in them – influenced them – to turn away from their almost Sin brought on by barred off Love and more freely given Lust, just for the night, and return to their homes as they had been mentally encouraged to be steadfast and truly open with each other and admit that their feelings weren’t a passing thing. To make promises of marriage and the man making himself ready to ask the woman’s family permission, making a clearly tired Beelzebub roll zir eyes and Gabriel shrug at zir. 

Seeing the two bloodied ethereals at their door on opening it, needless to say, was a shock to the soon-to-be-marrying mortals. But Gabriel smiled at them and asked if they could “be kind to those in need and give us use of your room?” To which the man awkwardly gestured and said it was paid in full for the night and the morrow, as Beelzebub rushed past them, taking the baby from the angel’s sling, and Gabriel awkwardly Blessed them, before rushing after his own wife. 

It didn’t take long for them to shut everything up. Beelzebub willing the walls to fortify through angry glares, and latching things shut, throwing out grumbled curses as ze worked past the shared pain seeping into zir from the baby in zir arms. It had been too long since they were fed, if at all. 

Both were secretly worrying that the child would harm their vocal chords from how much they were shrieking and crying, Beelzebub trying to rock the child, knowing the growing issue. Becoming frantic zirself as ze didn’t know what else to do. 

Ze nearly startled on hearing Gabriel talk to zir. 

“I don’t know how, but the Damned were able to find me when I was out there. They kept sniffing the air but it almost seemed like they could still see me.” 

“They were smelling the child. They smell like Birth and Death, all at once. Even now.” 

The Prince didn’t need to draw them closer to smell them but ze ran zir hands over the tiny form and brought them closer. Ze could smell that the child still bore the scent of Birth on them but smelled no scents of milk from their Lifebearer. Still smelled strongly of Death, too. And it was getting worse by the moment, finding zirself too in tune with a want of something the baby couldn’t understand yet. 

Desperation and need. 

For something that their tiny Life could have been snuffed out if they do not get, even after they were relatively safe. 

They were hungry. 

Beelzebub tried not to double over from feeling like zir own insides were devouring itself, just as surely as the baby’s was. They didn’t have much energy after nearly being killed. The essence given to them by both angel and demon bombarded them and the drain from the one who wished to take their soul was stronger than that of a Dying newborn with all that going on in their body. 

“Well, how do we fix that?” 

The angel was busy creating an angelic barrier and trying to ignore all other internal and external sounds of crying. 

“It should wear off. If they survive…We need to find this child sustenance.” Ze could feel zir corporation drenched with sweat, not just blood. The call that Beelzebub’s body was listening to wasn’t ever this bad when ze sensed these things, but usually the Prince wasn’t riddled with wounds, this badly. The demon was only just beginning to think that ze had made a mistake with taking on so much damage. “Gabriel, we need to find the baby food.” 

“Now?” 

“Yes, angel. Now.” But ze couldn’t keep on zir feet any longer and Gabriel met zir just in time, swooping in to pull zir close and helping zir craddle the baby to zir. The three ended up sliding to the floor and sitting zir against him, in his lap once more. 

“I’ve got you, Bee. I’ve got you. I need to heal you, I don’t know what I need to do for the baby, so you need to help me on this one, okay?” Though having his own sensory issues, feeling zir in his arms was definitely not one, even when it should have been. He knew it should have been. “Please, Bee.” 

“Alright.” Ze were huffing out air through zir nose and leaning against him, making him worry. Not knowing that the world was tilting on the fly demon. “Alright, Love.” 

“Just stay with me? Okay? I need you to. I don’t know what to do, right now, and I sure as Hell can’t have you leave me. Got that, sunshine?” His grip on zir, on them both, kept shifting over them. Changing locations as though trying to tactually sort their current predicament out with his hands. The angel’s face met zir forehead as a hand landed at the nape of zir neck. His other was on the cheek of the child. He could feel the cold of zir body under the palms of his hands and the way the baby seemed to run too hot. 

“Alright.” Ze were looking down at the baby and the world started to spin. 

And amidst the screeching from the inconsolable child, the Archangel got to work healing the demon in his arms, trying to do so quickly, all the while asking zir to stay with him. Almost pleading. Asking zir questions about where to touch zir that felt fuzzy to zir brain, but ze answered. The secondary pain wasn’t ebbing though the pain from zir wounds were. Ze kept touching the baby’s cheeks, whispering pleas, and cringing every time there was a spike of senses Beelzebub had kept a very tight lip over since zir Fall; since discovering it and using it to zir advantage. 

It was just excruciatingly difficult to when ze felt zir body was succumbing while ze could feel it happening in another. 

“Gabriel, hurry. Pleazze, Love.” 

Desperation was beginning to fuel zir again as ze needed to put zirself back together, fast. 

When ze had stepped between the angel and his attacker ze didn’t spare a second thought. The demon needed to protect him and the child at any cost, but now ze were fearing losing what ze had tried so desperately to save. As soon as one fog had cleared up enough, able to feel Gabriel’s giant hands solidly on zir, ze sat up fully and inspected the STILL wailing newborn in zir arms. 

“Gabriel, we need to feed them, and I know we juzt locked everything up, but I need to go find someone to take care of this baby. We need a wetnurzze, they’ll Die if we don’t find one soon.” Ze turned to him with zir face schooled but zir eyes far too open to realize that he could see zir fears through them. 

But when ze grimaced again, curling up as though in pain and seeing zir eyes go tight and looking worriedly down at the baby, he took a deep breath and asked why ze were still in pain. Beelzebub barely ever expressed when ze were. Ze hesitated, until ze couldn’t stop the words from finally being free anymore. 

“I can sense their pain from their needs, angel. A need like this is more tangible the stronger it is...the closer to a sense of starvation it brings them...To their Death.” Ze looked back up to him, eyes so very tired but finally more focused than how they were before he started to heal zir. “They’re getting weaker...They’ll Die...” 

The thought seemed to pain zir more than anything else. It pained him, as well. And a small choked sob escaped his lost little Love, making his heart all the heavier. Gabriel didn’t register that his hands were acting of their own volition and one gently touched the child while the other wrapped around Beelzebub’s slim shoulder, pulling zir closer against him. Ze didn’t draw away, seeming to not notice either. 

They were both overwhelmed with the child they had managed to abscond with. 

And that would not do. Gabriel didn’t like it when children Died, even though he had to let it happen...even when, by the Almighty’s decree, he had had his own hands bloodied by it in the past. 

Looking down at the child and then back up at the Prince...Gabriel remembered something. He knew that there was potentially one other thing that they could do to save the baby. One tiny chance that something that Beelzebub may not have known about that could be of use in their terrible situation. 

From Before. 

About zir. 

It was one of the only things he had found in zir file, something not redacted into the void. Heaven had one for every Fallen and Gabriel had taken measures to get Beelzebub's after he'd met zir. 

But the angel was afraid to ask, there was something about it that unnerved him, something that whispered in his ear that he shouldn’t even let the idea turn over in his thoughts to consider it. It felt wrong to even try to. And with what he remembered of the demon saying that ze wanted no memories, caring nothing of Before, he knew that even the facts might follow along with zir wishes to not know. 

To not care. 

But they didn’t have very much in ways of options. 

“Bee...I may have an idea but you’re really not going to like it.” 

Ze looked at him, tired eyes scrutinizing him and face as grim as always, waiting for the shoe to finally drop with the words that would come out of his mouth. 

“Tell me...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been rolling around in my head, in the wee hours after getting home, how this was going to go. It took a hot minute. It was one of the only things I wasn’t sure how to get them from A to B and with newborn baby in toe in the story I knew it had to be parts drastic and parts frightening and fast. I admit to being timid but enjoyed how it grew (when am I not nervous? In real life I’m very go with the flow about a lot of decisions unless they are ones that matter a great deal. But I’m not nervous in those situations either. I like to be very succinct and efficient. Most things are just obvious. This story?...I’ll just continue being the nervous potato.) 
> 
> Terrible facts about what is happening to the baby were actually taken from what I remember from when my nephew was born. He wasn’t eating, for whatever reason he had just stopped, and then his body tried to replace the nourishment it needed by eating his insides. (DON’T WORRY MY NEPHEW IS STILL ALIVE AND NOW A WONDERFUL AND AWKWARD TWEEN!) 
> 
> I forgot to mention (and FIX I will fix them) that some of the described Damned are based on actual murderers in history. These two women that are detailed are Ezerbet Bathory Nadasdy and the one that Gabriel fought was Madame de Montespan. I actually know a lot about Bathory and quite a bit about Montespan, so I wanted to sneak them in there. Some of the men that Bee fought were Gilles de Rais (who I know a lot about because I did a lot of research on Joan D’arc), Bjorn Petturson, and the one to cast the spells was Peter Niers. I tried to give vague discriptions but goofed on the murderous intent part... 
> 
> I know that Bee is a walking disaster, I didn’t realize ze would turn out this way. Didn’t think Gabriel would turn out this way. I don’t think anyone realized. It just kind of...happened? Like an Archangel falling through a roof onto a Prince of Hell. Like a disaster. 
> 
> I wanted them to grow into something and then...well...you’ll see. It’s not over yet. Most of the next chapter is finished (done a while ago) so I’ll just be doing some fine tuning. Edit to say that I need to do more fine tuning in the next chapter. There was actions and things said that need to be moved around a bit and some things added because A LOT has happened in this story. So, thank you for your patience!
> 
> Please let me know what you think? Comments, con-crit is ALWAYS welcome, I want to articulate a story you can enjoy and is clear with all the actions, and grow as a writer. KUDOS are like cookies and I am a monster, therefore I must be a cookie monster. 
> 
> LOTS of sensitive situations in the next chapter. I will do my best to be diligent and warn what’s to come in the TW section, as always.


	19. When The Choice Is Never A Choice And Burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub and Gabriel have absconded away with a mortal child, but they’re not saved just yet. 
> 
> Desperate measures must be taken, and Beelzebub is the one forced to bear the burden, and so soon after being faced with a loss ze never had a choice in and unable to cope with it. Gabriel, still unaware of zir pain, pushes zir because he knows they don’t have a choice, knows ze may be the baby’s only Hope, even if he wishes otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Dysphoria, slight fugue state but no visible meltdown. Panic and anxiety a plenty. Blood. But always let me know if I’ve missed anything. 
> 
> I put dysphoria because I think Beelzebub has a very specific idea of what zir body should be like and what it should do, but in this instance, out of need, the sudden shift from zir preferred proportions on zir top half being drastically altered is tough enough when ze don’t like altering zir corporation in the first place. 
> 
> A lot going on here and it made for a long chapter, I’m sorry, but I didn’t want to leave any cliffhangers that were too big with this one. It was all important for one. I tried to go back and compile unimportant sentences and make others more succinct to cover them. It was a lot to go back over and refresh to work with all the new information. I THINK I found a good medium for it all though, it flowed better after a few edits. 
> 
> Interesting fact about wetnurses in the 1700s: they were actually forced out of practice for a time in the Americas by the notaries in town. It was said to be not as healthy for babies to be fed by anyone but their mothers and people also shamed common folk for it. This did not include those who forced their slaves to do so. It was actually all messed up. 
> 
> I admit to confusing how much time has passed since starting writing these things. It’s been a LONG wild ride everyone! I hope you’re all holding up and still with me. 
> 
> Things are still heated out here in my neck of the woods, i’m sure it’s been varying degrees depending on what type of people are in yours. I’m safe still. No body slams or being hit, just some minor shoving lately. 
> 
> Please stay safe, friends! <3

“Bee...I may have an idea but you’re really not going to like it.” 

Ze looked at him, tired eyes scrutinizing him and face as grim as always, waiting for the shoe to finally drop with the words that would come out of his mouth. 

“Tell me...” 

He bit his lip and ran a hand over his stern jaw, clearly uncomfortable. Getting it all out quick felt like the best option. “You can feed the child. Produce milk, like a human. You-...I’ve read how you’re equipped to...” 

But clearly that wasn’t going to go as he imagined. 

Ze didn’t know how to glare at the moment, ze were too shocked and blinked rapidly, feeling like the floor had just given way. Ze really wished ze knew how to spontaneously discorporate. Meanwhile, Gabriel was roving over every possible combination of human words in existence to articulate. It was excruciatingly difficult with the mournful sobs of his lost Lover crying in his head. He didn’t know how to appease away the ghost while trying to not make his wife go running, when the issue was the crying child. 

“You know...breastfeed the baby...” 

A breath was drawn in by both and Gabriel felt the urge to remove the baby from the demon’s arms and back away. Matter of fact, when ze actually shot up out of his arms and stood silent and away from him, he managed to take the wailing bab just as ze spun round to face him. 

Rigid and impassible. Those were words that came to mind when Gabriel took in zir image. 

What felt like a stone made of dread was slowly weighing zir down. Ze had remained still and the angel continued to nervously talk and gesticulate, gesturing to his pectorals, to zir...body...and then clenching his hand and making a face that Beelzebub would gladly smack off. 

Most occult and angelic beings could morph their bodies, Beelzebub was begrudgingly all too familiar with that, but ze were certain of one thing; that only a small few of their numbers could actually alter themselves in THAT way. The same number that could conceive. Those demons still had connection to that ‘gift’ from when they were angels, though twisted and corrupted with them in their Fall. But not all could, despite what many humans thought, believing Hell churned out legions of minions for their armies and fed them with bloodmilk of their bodies, like a perverted eucharist. 

It was all difficult and painful if achieved from what ze had witnessed and heard whispered, but that was simply their lot in Damnation. Cursed and torn up. 

What Gabriel was insinuating ze could do for the baby was more than unsettling. Ze weren’t even certain what zir body was capable of, aware of at least capable of bearing...chills threatened to make zir quake over what else Gabriel could know. It hit too close... 

“What are you getting at?...” Ze were breathing in clipped little breaths, short and shallow. Trying to make zir voice level, not shake. But the rising panic over having a wailing human child in the room in the middle of the night and no way to feed them, after being brought back from the brink of Death after a ritualistic attack – with the level of threat still unknown – being wounded, healed, and then in the arms of the Archangel, was causing Beelzebub to lose zir knack for stoic. Add said inarticulate Archangel, who was trying to impart delicate information about the Prince to the Prince, felt akin to a waking nightmare. 

“You have breasts...” Gabriel said, waving a hand at zir but both ethereals startled over the wiggling wailer they’d saved and brought hands to cradle the infant. Beelzebub couldn’t blame them for crying. 

“So I’ve noticed, pigeon.” Ze snapped, “What gave you the idea that I could do anything like that with them?” 

“Come now, Bee, Heaven has a file on you. I read it. And the situation that arose during the battle only served to confirm some of what was in it, when you menstruated; Your corporation functions more like a humans than most other demons and angels.” 

“What?!” Ze near shrieked but when the baby began to wail somehow even louder than before, both beings flinched, and Beelzebub’s demeanor shifted to more open panic. 

“I researched you, as I’m sure you did me. It’s only smart to do so, when trying to be fully knowledgeable about one’s adversary.” 

He eyed zir, as if to admonish Beelzebub for zir not understanding something so clear when really he was invading zir privacy by knowing irrelevant personal information, despite being made aware of some of it when ze yelled out at him on a battlefield. The room was spinning on zir, but ze tried to bring it all back in. Swallow it up and bury it. 

“Your body was built by the Almighty specifically to...bear children...like the humans. Surely you can-” 

“Just because I was built with tits and a cunt does not mean I can produce milk. Especially not milk meant for a human baby!” 

“But you have breasts that ar-” 

“And you’re a giant tit, can I milk you?” Ze snarled, crossing zir arms over the very sensitive topic of their debate. 

“Beelzebub, please understand, I’m not trying to be difficult, but we are out of options.” He looked down at the child and tried to gently bop the baby cradled in his arms. 

Another silence came over the room, at least from those who were capable of verbalizing speech. Beelzebub shifted around in the tiniest ways. Zir eyes shifted about the room in clear discomfort, upset, guarded, drawing away. Almost like in Gabriel’s memory, making him want to go to zir and correct whatever it was that he forgot, stop zir current growing distress. 

“Gabriel, that’s just…my body rots...it naturally rots!” Ze were eyeing the still crying and very tiny being, voice getting higher with each word. “It will poizzzzon them and then they’ll Die. I can’t change my rotten core.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“Even if I didn’t, I don’t even know if my body can produze nutrientz for the child. With the exception of what you gave me at the inn, I haven’t eaten anything in nearly two hundred yearzzzz...” Ze tried to brush some of the dried blood on the child’s head away as ze tried to cool down their burning forehead, even when zir panic was bubbling over. 

“Bee...you said you can feel it, can’t you? Not just hear it. The child’s hunger. It’s painful to bear for them and they can’t do a thing for themselves.” He really didn’t like trying to sway zir like this, feeling like he was guilting zir, coercing zir, but he didn’t know what else to do. 

As the Prince had just told him, zir preternatural ability allowed zir to sense when a human was ravenous, and even how badly so. 

And it didn’t matter what they were hungry for, just that their hunger was palpable. Sex, Love, POWER, food and drink, they all could lead to a sort of starvation but only the last killed from lacking. It didn’t take a demon to know what was which, either. Many were painfully obvious, but the Prince had used that ‘gut’ feeling to zir advantage in Hell and Earthside. It gave zir an edge to know when to push and when to let them fester. 

But it was when it was as it drew closer starvation and Death that it could inflict the Prince, ze could feel the pain plaguing them. And now, Beelzebub could feel this baby’s pain. Ze were never wrong about this, and could tell that this innocent was not long for this world that ze tried desperately to keep them in. They were still so very weak. 

“The baby was our responsibility the instance we saved them.” 

Zir frown deepened, knowing he was right. Cursing. 

“I’ll go and get you something to eat, I haven’t seen what’s been ready, so I can’t just miracle it here. While out, I’ll see if there is someone who is already with child that can be a wetnurse, but if we find no one you’ll have to.” 

“Juzt a zzz-second! Why are YOU going out?” 

“Whoever is after you and the baby doesn’t know what I look like. And my aura is still hidden away. You know it will be safer with you two here. You’re more capable out there, I know, but the chances of something happening to you are too great for me to chance. Alright?” 

Ze were shaking zir head, “No. You said that you thought they could see you.” 

“And you said that it was because I had the baby and smelled of them. I’ll miracle the scent away. Bee, we need to do it this way. You need to trust me too.” 

He tried to placate the troubled Prince by placing a hand on zir shoulder and an idea sparked to his mind. Gabriel quickly mulled over what Beelzebub had said, worried about zir rotting core. “Bee, what if while you breastfeed the infant, I heal your body? Do you think that could work? I would just continue to until they’ve finished.” 

Though ze were struggling to function, the Prince went over in zir head if that was at all possible. Ze TRULY didn’t know. Didn’t WANT to know. Ze were beginning to feel dizzy again while they thought about it. It would be a constant bombardment to both their corporations and possible hurt zirs in the long run. But that didn’t really matter... 

“Pozzibly? But I ztill don’t know if I can even lactate, Pigeon!” Ze wanted to throw his hand away, tear zir hair out in aggravation, and run, but instead ze took hold and held tight. 

He didn’t mean to, but he ran his hand over the side of zir face, weaving his warm hand in zir hair. “I have Faith that you can do what’s necessary.” 

“All becauze of a file from Before and becauze I menzzztruate?! That’z daft! It’z ztupid! That’z-that’z really reaching, Mezzenger!” 

“Yes, I know, but what else can we do?” He placed the small form in zir arms and zir eyes kept pined on the angel before zir. If ze didn’t look down, it wouldn’t be real. “You could be the child’s only Hope, Beelzebub.” 

“Blezzit, Archangel, that wazz BEFORE! I Fell!…I’m not the same! I’m all wrong! Why won’t you get that?!” Zir voice was getting strained and higher than he ever heard it. “It’z not like bleeding makez me capable of…” The room was spinning faster. 

“Not once have I forgotten that, Bella. Not once. But I know you wouldn’t let this child pass like this. Not after everything else you went through to save them.” He crouched down to zir level as best he could and put another comforting hand on zir shoulder, gently brushing the crook of zir neck. 

It was then that Beelzebub could sense the baby’s ravenous hunger intensify. The little one was in so much pain; they would starve to Death. It made zir feel helpless and scared and now the angel planned to leave zir. 

“What if it doesn’t help and my milk is rotten, Love? It will kill them.” 

“That won’t happen. Right now, the child is weak, and we need to work fast. Can you do this for me? If not for me, for the innocence?” He searched such worried eyes. Eyes that could sparkle in delight but often shone of anger or fear, just as they did now. Eyes that he considered more Blessed than Damned. “I’m sorry I’m doing this to you, Bella...” 

“...Z’not...don’t...” Ze shifted the child in zir arms and tried to bounce them to stop the crying. “Go. We’ll be right here...Juzt...don’t leave us?” 

The question and terror pulsing from off zir stalled him. 

“We can handle this.” He brought a hand up to zir face, touching zir cheek as careful as ever, before heading out the door into the night, planning to miracle away their scent and mess when he got far enough away. He honestly had no clue what he was doing and was certain that Beelzebub would have been better to send out but he had wanted to keep zir in one place and ensure ze kept a low profile in case trouble was still nearby. He wasn’t going to put Beelzebub at risk, nor the baby. 

-What have we gotten ourselves into? 

He went to the nearest, unharmed tavern and asked if there were any wetnurses or women looking to be employed as one. Asking the surrounding corseted beings was quickly proving...a hinderance, and Gabriel dismissed them for the bar. There he was able to procure a hearty meal from the older woman who ran things. She was quick to put together something for him that was supposed to be good for a breastfeeding mother. Something with a lean cut of beef and wild mushrooms, things that turned Gabriel’s stomach even just to look at, but he made no fuss, thinking of his purpose, and wanted to get back as quickly as he could. 

He couldn’t get the image of Beelzebub, tight-lipped but with terrified wild eyes, out of his head. That, nor could he remove the image of zir roving sad eyes in Heaven. 

-Please, I know I should not ask for Mercy for her, but I know you’ve put her on this path for a reason and she will do it. I just want her to not be afraid. She wanted to save the child. 

The angel distracted himself by asking the barmaid about those he could employ for his wife, saying that they were in dire need. 

“There are no wetnurses in this area, all practice stomped out by the notary. The new law was just implemented the last few months.” 

“I see.” But he really didn’t. He was anxiously waiting and trying to remain still in the face of this situation. 

“New to fatherhood?” The mortal eyed him as though she could tell from his nervous behavior. 

“We have a newborn.” 

“First child?” 

“Only child.” 

Not a lie. There was one newborn currently crying in Beelzebub’s arms. 

He couldn’t exactly smile but knew that newborns were seen as a joyous occasion to fathers for the humans and tried his best to emulate that. Something about furthering the lineage or some such non-sense. Jesus had told him it was how a human ensured they lived on and gave back to the world with new life and, hopefully, Love of another. Gabriel liked the idea but still didn’t fully understand, he believed he wasn’t supposed to though. 

“You and your wife must feel Blessed. The past year has really been difficult for ladyfolk trying to bear children. I think it’s the spirits, the Lord is unhappy with us.” She shrugged as she plated up the food. “You’ll have to be careful and treat them well. Don’t know how this season will be, and ladies are sensitive while feeding their young.” 

“I endeavor to treat my wife and the baby well.” He didn’t want to dawdle, knowing every second was important. But then... 

“…Sensitive how?” 

“Oh, you know, she’ll be very tired after feeding the wee bab, and she might not wish to be touched. Sensitive in places you menfolk may wish to tarry.” 

He was definitely concerned, about their situation, the baby, and Beelzebub having to be the one to deal with the brunt of the burden. He wasn’t sure what the woman meant by “sensitive in places” as the demon seemed more like a ball of raw sensitive nerves in all places. It only made him further concerned. 

“Here, good sir, I’ll throw in some tea leaves to treat her. That is, if you promise to come back here for the time you stay, for the remainder of the Mistress’s meals.” 

“Tea leaves?” 

She leaned over the bar and whispered, “For her teets...She’ll want to make a warm compress with it in a cloth if she’s sore...” She eyed the rest of the bar and finished tying up the plated parcel. 

“…Thank you, kind Ms.” He tried not to make a face of any sort before taking the meal and paying for it with miracled money. “And I shall.” 

The Archangel couldn’t get back quick enough, nervous for being gone too long. 

The Prince was busy trying to coo at the child, bouncing them, and panicking in circles when he came back. 

“I’m sorry.” And he had to ignore the way zir eyes dimmed, bringing zir the wrapped plate of hot food. “No wetnurse. They’ve been driven out for some strange human reason, but I have everything else.” 

“I’ll be quick, take the baby.” 

They switched and Beelzebub tried NOT to inhale the food, feeling queasy over the thought of what ze had to do, but wanting to get it over with. It was the first time that ze were hungry but also not. The dichotomy of such a thing for the Prince of Gluttony was aggravating but put in the back of zir mind as ze tried to think through the steps to alter zir body and how to push zir body to process the nutrients from the food fast enough. 

Ze finished and pushed everything aside, not bothering with wasting energy to clear it away as ze wanted. The Lord of the Flies tried to take even breaths and tried to relax – something ze weren’t Truly very good at without alcohol involved – and sat there, thinking the process through. 

But slowly, ze felt a swell in zir chest. 

Recognizing the sudden changes, ze scrambled to quickly rip off the remnants of the ruined shirt, discarding it on the table, and cursed the garments those assumed to be women were forced to wear. Cursing how it had, indeed, saved some of zir flesh in combat earlier, despite impeding movement. 

These particular stays design had no front lacing and ze had to tear it wide enough to allow zir body’s sudden growth. Luckily, the wound ze suffered earlier cut into the fabric and made it easier. Ze didn’t sigh in relief though, the process hurt and felt highly uncomfortable. 

Uncomfortable and a different type of soreness from when zir body would get ready to menstruate and different from being manhandled. Ze grimaced and closed zir eyes and tried to slowly breathe out through zir nose. Ze felt the swelling expand zir bosom beyond zir usual corporation’s boundaries, trying not to curse everything. Ze developed proper alveoli sacs, ducts and glands to form in order to process milk and lactate. The demon kept trying to drive into zir head that zir discomfort wasn’t irrelevant. 

During all that ze processed sugars, fats, and everything important to be turned into nutrients at an unnatural pace. What ze couldn’t use for milk, zir infernal body would burn away. 

Thinking of the baby was what made it easier. With their pain present, it was easier to push through it. 

“Come sit on the bed, it may be easiest to handle this way.” Gabriel said settling himself with the wailing human child whose little hands had been quaking and stuttering at an alarming rate. It was more frightening than Beelzebub’s discomfort. 

Looking down at the child ze reminded zirself they should have Died, had been robbed of a lot of energy, and left hungry for hours longer than they should have. 

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” He whispered to both baby and demon, who took the child in zir arms reluctantly. Terrified. 

“It’s going to be alright, Bee, I’m right here.” He held his hands out to zir and asked where ze wanted him to put his hands. Mulling it over ze said zir sternum and back after he reminded zir that being close enough should do. He didn’t lay hands on the Prince yet, though. Not even after ze pulled open zir stays enough to extract a now much larger breast and breathed in too deep, feeling too dizzy with nerves. 

Seeing blood on zir chest stalled zir though, remembering ze had been left a mess, that the child would be up against zir bloodied skin made zir squirm. Ze quickly used zir chemise’s sleeve to wipe as much as ze could clean, mentally thanking no one that zir nipple hadn’t been bled on. 

Ze couldn’t keep zir body from reacting to zir fright, swallowing nervously and feeling a chill run zir through, at the thought. 

Beelzebub eyed the angel beside zir, but he was looking more concerned between zir face and the screaming child. It was then that ze took his hand and placed it just over zir heart, feeling chills at the contact and so very vulnerable, and adjusted the baby to be cradled where ze could see them around Gabriel’s large hand and tried to get the baby to latch on. 

Gabriel could feel the demon’s heart racing. He tried to settle himself in order to send out soothing warmth to zir. He was stressed out of his wits as it was, and he knew now how Beelzebub had felt. 

“I need to make zure it-itz even normal...” Ze said suddenly, trying to squeeze out a bit, skittish over whether or not it would work, despite the Archangel’s insistence. 

Beelzebub squeezed a bit and bit zir lip trying, but quickly found zir breast leaking plain, surprisingly white breastmilk onto zir fingers. Ze grimaced before sniffing it…it smelled normal…then licked the drop on zir finger...it didn’t taste wrong. It wasn’t rotten. “Alright...alright, I think thiz will work.” And ze quickly focused on the baby, who flailed and wailed. 

“Come on, you little bugger...” Ze groused, trying to find some semblance of zir usual self and get the baby to latch on. It was difficult when ze were so nervous and uncomfortable and cold. However, like the second nature it was, as crying out in need seemed the first, the baby did as needed and latched on and began to suckle. They may have been newborn, like the rest of the sacrifices, knowing how latching was sometimes difficult, the little one appeared already capable of at least that. 

Ze gasped but Gabriel couldn’t tell if it was in shock or relief. 

“Are you okay?!” 

“They’re doing it! The baby’z drinking! Oh, pleazzze let thiz work!” Ze felt all sorts of things at once; elation, terror, relief, and distress, and a constant oscillation between them. Ze were so worried that it wouldn’t work. Ze sat as still as ze could and watched as the young human baby suckled away without issue, slowly calming down, making zir calm down and zir corporation work better for them both. 

The Prince of Gluttony could feel their pain begin to finally ebb away like a tide. And their little pulse was becoming a little stronger. 

Beelzebub felt warmth and an ease settle over zir as the minutes passed, relief ze didn’t think ze were capable of feeling made zir look to Gabriel. 

His face was open with his own relief and something that spoke of delight. 

“Hey, their little cheeks are wiggling. Ha!” He had an unexpected simplicity and wonder about him over this act that should have repulsed Beelzebub. On some level it did. But on a deeper level it made something ache and brought a fuzzy feeling all the same. Something...something that didn’t make sense. “How are you feeling, Bee? Are you okay?” 

The flick of his eyes up to zir’s was sudden, ze thought he was too wrapped up in the child’s natural antics. But figured he was concerned zir corporation was functioning as humanly as possible. Ze were a little disoriented. 

“I think. We’ll find out if the milk hurts the child soon.” 

“I meant you, Bee. I think if the baby’s body didn’t like it, they’d have gotten sick already.” He made a face, “I’ve seen things when I was around Jesus that had me question a great deal about why infants are built as they are. They reject things very quickly.” 

The Prince of Hell quirked an eyebrow at him and tried not to make a face. “You? With babies?” 

“Jesus tended to all, and all included children and infants.” 

“I can’t imagine you running around with babies. Fuc-” 

“Language.” He gently touched zir mouth and ze sighed, part in frustration and part that age old spark that he elicited from zir. The Prince nipped his finger and he huffed and smiled in a way that made Beelzebub extremely uncomfortable with the way zir heart did a flip, and ze replaced his hand on zir chestbone. Which only made zir more uncomfortable and zir heart sped back up. The two looked at each other in awkward silence...But a gurgle drew both higher beings’ attention. 

They both looked down at the tiny being in zir arms that had taken to flexing and opening their little hand around Beelzebub’s fingers. They seemed to be avidly OBSERVING them with such wide eyes, “Oh...” And ze huffed, hiding a laugh, cleaning up a little dribble. “They do notice quite a bit don’t they.” Ze wondered at the child and enjoyed the quiet they were experiencing for the time. “Much lezz of a little Hellion when fed, aren’t you?” 

And Gabriel couldn’t help but add, “You’re much less of a Hellion after you’ve been fed.” 

“Lies, Gabriel. I’m even more of a Hellion when fed, I’ll have you know.” But ze had a little wicked glint in zir eyes and didn’t seem upset over his words. After an introspective moment, thinking over Hellish matters, ze began to speak again. “There’re markings on their stomach. It smeared away; I wasn't able to confirm what it waz. I tried to heal them before I even thought t-...it didn’t work and I didn’t see, but the magical marking is still imprinted on an ethereal level. Can feel it. The one doing it was in a rush to finish when I came in.” 

“They didn’t stop? The task was more important than fighting you off? That’s odd.” 

Ze silently thought it over, trying to recall more. “The attacker just kept going. I don’t know, Love.” 

The angel sighed in his own frustration and shook his head, “We’ll look into it in a bit. Let’s make sure they eat okay and that you’re okay.” He said and moved the hand from zir back to brush away an errant strand of hair from zir face. “We’ll evaluate everything when we get them down to sleep.” 

“Okay...” 

The rest of their little affair went off fairly well. The longer it went on the easier it seemed to get, though the more tired Beelzebub got. Ze were able to handle just the amount the baby needed, making sure zir body produced enough milk – which was a lot considering the energy they needed to make up for, from their near Death and never being fed – and Gabriel got zir a cloth to put over zir shoulder and tried to get the baby to burp. 

Ze got up and walked the room, unable to sit still any longer. 

When Beelzebub was able to get a rather sonorous little burp from the little mortal ze actually snorted. “Stinky little thing. You really are a little Hellion, aren’t you?” 

“Bee, the baby is a lamb of God. You know; a pure soul?” 

“You are fooled, Archangel. Children are innocence made physical, yes.” Ze said loftily, eyeing the angel. “Yet, they are kith and kin to my kind in so many ways. Monsters in tiny human form.” Zir little wicked grin got a little bigger, “A true diabolical creation.” 

It was then that Gabriel recalled more of this side of Beelzebub. The one who fed a bunch of children in the streets of Italy. He remembered how the smile on zir face was soft and pleased as a small innocence offered zir her own struffoli piece and Beelzebub had smiled at the child before feeding them another. They mimicked each other’s kindness. But Beelzebub tried to claim ze were inspiring Gluttony and malcontent, to anger privileged others for the baker being all out of the dessert ze bought up and gave away for free. 

And when he found zir in these parts of the Earth, nearly a month ago, gleeful in zir strange tenderness; always seeming to feed and play with the children ze encountered in the streets. 

He could feel the half Truth, last time, but he was beginning to suspect that ze really had no objectives in corrupting children. What ze had gave away while drunk alluded to that. 

Even now, though clearly tired, ze walked and rocked the baby in zir arms and cooed at them. Zir smile morphed to be soft, once more. Soft and tired looking, making conversation at the gurgles up until they started to cry. But because it wasn’t one that sounded like a pained ending both beings quickly fell into step with each other again, strangely knowing. 

Gabriel miracled up clean washclothes and clothing for the child to change the infant into, and ze laid the baby on the table Gabriel cleared away for the Prince. They both seemed almost on autopilot and moved around each other with what seemed like practiced ease. Similar to how they did on the battlefield, all morbidly wearing near as much blood, as Gabriel’s still open wounds bled through again. 

“Oh! Woe iz me, Heavenly little lamb! You smell as soiled as certain Duke of Hell I know.” Ze drawled out, in a voice that could’ve been mocking, but held no real bite. 

“This is another part I was not a fan of. Humans can be disgusting.” 

“The little ones and invalid can’t help that, though I can’t say I disagree.” Ze started to unwrap the baby in the swaddle, gently. Ze inspected the contents of the wrap to see if there were any abnormalities, worried of what zir body may have done to them. Aside from the blood that had slicked and crusted to the child, it all looked close to normal. “Not that I’m not used to being disgusting, myself, or around disgusting beings.” 

The angel froze for a second and looked zir over but ze remained unfazed. 

“Hell is filthy, pigeon.” Ze stated deadpan, ze turned back to their little charge, cleaning up the little one’s bum as ze spoke. “Things leak, it smellzz awful, and everything rots, molds, or its broken. Everyone is just as so.” 

“That’s…awful…” He made a face and Beelzebub rolled zir eyes as ze carefully removed the linen out from under the baby, the angel disposing of it with a flick of his wrist, disposing it into nothing. It made the Prince consider aloud that it was best to avoid any further miracles, lest someone tracks it. 

“Wouldn’t do well for either of us to be caught together with a mortal child. No matter what our intent.” 

The very thought sent chills through him, remembering too clearly how his brother harmed zir on finding them, and Beelzebub’s eyes darkened. Neither wanted a repeat of being found out. And DEFINITELY NOT with child. 

Ze did one more wash over to ensure every part of the infant’s privates were clean and began to dry with another cloth Gabriel handed zir for that purpose, taking away the dirty washcloth to clean. They were in sinc. 

“I’ve been finding markings on the other infants as well...There were others...at different houses.” 

“You’ve been to the other midwives?” 

He took hold of zir arm, more carefully than when he grabbed zir after meeting zir again. 

“You saw things. More memories.” 

Silence. Beelzebub wasn’t necessarily surprised, but the sound of his voice, the way he stilled on taking the baby the first time and then the mention of the other houses confirmed he had seen more. As sure as there was a Heaven and Hell, ze didn’t wish to talk about it. 

“You did, didn’t you?” 

“Ztop.” 

“What did you see, Bee?” 

“Not important. Not your buzinezzz.” 

But he tried to turn zir to him, made zir look at him. The way he was searching zir eyes was too invasive and ze tried not to back down or avoid his gaze. 

“You were shown things too, just like on the battlefield.” 

“Forget it, pigeon.” Ze had to swallow what was trying to rend from zir throat, the demon wasn’t willing. “I don’t care to have them.” 

That statement told on zir far more than ze had intended and he knew far too well what meant. 

“...They were from Before.” 

“I don’t fucking care! Drop it...pleaze...” zir face screwed up and ze grit zir teeth, becoming very still. Eyes scrunched shut. 

“Okay.” He touched zir hair, grazing zir cheek, and nodded his head, he saw that whatever it had been was torturous enough. It was reflected in zir traitorous eyes before ze shut them off from him. “Okay.” 

And for reasons Beelzebub couldn’t fathom ze leaned into his touch, making his palm go flush to zir face. It didn’t hurt. It wasn’t him digging into nor burning zir. It was confusingly gentle. 

Ze were too tired to care anymore, ze moved into Gabriel’s arms and let him wrap zir up. The demon buried zir face against his chest and felt his lips bump against zir head. Ze let it happen and let him hold zir. Ze pretender for that moment it didn’t fucking matter or else ze were certain ze’d scream. 

Breathing the scent of rain kissed flowers in deeply, muddled by angelic blood, mortal, and zir own, still anchored zir. Finding comfort when ze shouldn’t have. Ze’d blame the hormones plaguing zir, old and unspent ones and the new ze had just forced into zirself for the baby’s sake, and the awful memories Beelzebub couldn’t handle, if ze ever let zirself reflect on it... 

They stood there like that for as long as they could before a little thump was heard and startled both to turn to see the baby wiggling about in place. They looked so much better despite the blood. 

“I want to wash the baby.” 

Gabriel gave zir a once over, seeing the dark circles under zir eyes and how wrecked ze looked. Ze didn’t even have the care to stop him as he brushed and settled his hands in zir hair again, scratching zir scalp. “Let me handle that, you should wash yourself and get some sleep. You mentioned it’s good for tired corporations.” He made a face as he felt something in zir hair. “And you have blood in your hair.” 

Ze scoffed and swatted his hand away. The annoying angel smiled before turning to the fireplace and looked at it as though trying to remember how to use it. 

“Love...you’ve only been around babiez, do you really know how to take care of them?” Ze asked guardedly, scooping up the child. 

“As I said, we took care of the masses. Now, shoo, fiend, you have roughly two to three hours before they’ll need you again. Get thee washed and in bed, honeybee.” Swiftly moving past zir, Gabriel booped the demon’s button nose and then did so to the child too, on noticing they had a button nose as well. Ze could only stare at him in tacit shock, face belying none of it. 

When he dipped his hand in the refreshed water of the room’s washbasin to test the temperature and knew how often babies needed to feed made zir a little less uneasy. 

He flitted about, removing and frowning at his bloodied coat, exposing his wound to zir, and hanging it on a nearby hook. Seeing the gnarled and burned wounds made zir uncomfortable but, on asking, was told they were healing fine. The wounds looked rather minuscule, except the one on his broad back. Ze couldn’t stop zirself from looking him over, looking at the gold blood that stained his shirt, seeing it had gone nearly to his tapered waist. Ze had to shake zirself from the thoughts. 

-Well…this is all awkward and horrible. 

But the demon couldn’t keep zir eyes off his form for a few minutes more. Saw how carefully he took the baby from zir arms, flicking his violaceous eyes up at zir as he did so. 

The angel laid out the child on the table next to the small basin, mindful of their head and smiling a soft smile. He leaned over to reach for a new cloth, keeping an encompassing hand on the child, as though to guard, keeping them from squirming off the table. Beelzebub stepped in and invaded their space and helped him get it, passing a hand over the child to check their temperature. They had been too hot earlier, ze were still worried. Gabriel had taken note and his lips quirked and the Lord of the flies had the urge to touch his mouth again to stop him but found zirself pinned by his gaze, instead. 

So, they were staring at each other again. A Prince of Hell, guarded, and an Archangel of the Lord, reading zir still. They shifted their gaze at the sounds of happy gurgles. Bloody baby no longer in immediate danger, making bubbles from spit and milk, little limbs weak but shaking about with renewing energy. 

“You did good, Bee. They Live because of you.” And the Prince quietly grunted, face contorting and looking away from both angel and now calm child. Feeling disoriented and uncomfortable, finding a hand in zirs that squeezed gently then gone, warmth with it. Then it was in zir hair, carding through, confusing zir. Zir head was beginning to hurt enough to notice. 

Ze just felt so tired... 

“Now, I meant it when I said to wash up and go rest, dearest. You’ve tampered with your corporation enough, you’re probably exhausted.” 

Gabriel turned to the small being in their care. The angel spoke with quiet words of reassurance as he took a cloth and dampened it in the waters, cleaning them properly. 

“What about you? Can’t be too good for you to have healed me like that. And you’ve been hurt too.” 

Ze touched him then, just around the wound ze spied earlier making Gabriel halt at the feel. Ze didn’t often initiate touch, and it was tentative. He chanced a look at zir, turning back and shrugging, trying to play it off. 

“I’ll be fine. I’ll wash up after you.” 

“Call for me if you aren’t zzertain about...zomething.” Ze uttered before turning away, eyeing the room to try and figure out what to do about washing and changing. 

-Fuck. Can’t use miracles. 

The Prince pulled out the little charmed bag that fit so much, zir gowns and stays, zir breeches and hats, and all the little things ze usually needed and put it on a nearby chair. Ze had plenty of things to wear, even a few nightshirts, but pulled out new breeches and shirts, black as a moonless midnight. Ze had no plans to sleep, despite an angel’s suggestion. Beelzebub needed to keep ready to fight. The Prince draped them over a chair. 

Beelzebub then observed there was rope with curtain stitched to it, hooks on the walls, ones near the bed and by the fireplace and ze set it up and found it sufficient to do as needed. And ze could still see Gabriel and the baby. 

Once up, ze slipped behind the curtain and finally tore off the rest of the destroyed corsetry and subsequently threw off the chemise, dropping them all in a pile; next went zir boots, stockings and pants, til ze were in nothing but air and able to see where blood stuck to zir skin. 

It was then that the demon realized ze needed a washbasin of zir own and cursed. Reluctantly, Beelzebub turned to call out from behind zir enclosure to ask but stopped on what ze saw. Gabriel, still attentive to the baby and cradling their small squishy body, smile relaxed, washing them. It was such a different scene than even a half hour before. 

Peaceful... 

Ze continued to watch Gabriel and the Prince became more and more calm as ze saw him be as careful as one should be with a baby. Yet, it was still unsettling for two reasons, one that the Archangel Gabriel of all celestials was tending to a child, the other being that it made zir chest swell and ache...and not from making it so to feed a mortal infant... 

Ze felt drained and as though ze could sleep for more than a few centuries, knowing that was not an option. 

Dread and uncertainty that had made a forever home in the pits of zir stomach, one made of burning ash and cinders, made room for that different ache ze couldn’t dispel. It was, indeed, so very true that ze were not ready for the darkness that had come zir way, with the reappearance of an angel who wouldn’t leave zir be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is HANDSY this chapter. Like...REALLY handsy. But for reasons. Like the healing and also just because it’s how the angel copes, it’s comforting for him to be able to touch people. But I didn’t mean for Beelzebub to be so accepting of it, but that’s the way it started to feel. Like ze were rejecting it mentally and ready to throw his hands off zir on most instances but instead zir body was the one to act against zir. 
> 
> It got...confusingly cozy XD That I feel like that sums them up. And it’s only going to get WORSE. 
> 
> Bee got sooo close to telling Gabriel that ze aren’t a woman. Soooo close. To address this, he is going of assumptions, yes. And ze have never told him otherwise….but when everyone else is the way they are, ze figure he’d be not very different. 
> 
> I know that Neil’s version of Beelzebub is that ze have all the boils and sores for aesthetic but I did not know that til King_Evelen mentioned it. But the problem was I had already plotted and written out most of this chapter to revolve around the fact that Beelzebub rots. There is more to it, the same with how ze can’t heal anyone, so I hope that it all reads well in the end. (I hope you’re all still with me.) 
> 
> I feel awful just imagining the two of them just kind of standing there with a baby and nearly full on panicking, but it will get better. 
> 
> Please, let me know what you think. Comments, CON-CRIT is always welcome here, and concerns, things that you spotted that you like and just wanted to share are doubly welcome because it makes my day. I NEVER MEANT TO WRITE ALL THE AWFUL!!! I’M SORRY!!!! 
> 
> They did save a baby though. ^_^ 
> 
> But, if you know anything about babies, or the way I write, there’s angst with babies and two people who keep dancing around their emotional issues regarding each other and themselves. Sooooo.... 
> 
> I swear I’m not evil. 
> 
> I swear. 
> 
> I feel evil and awful though.


	20. The Burden Of Unexpected Souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Prince of Hell and Archangel of the Lord may have saved a newborn from being sacrificed to an unknown being but the child’s not out of the woods yet. 
> 
> Beelzebub is forced to deal with issues ze had not anticipated and all on lockdown around the baby and the angel. Ze can’t get away and are afraid of what may be discovered if ze were to go back to Hell. 
> 
> Gabriel has other things on his mind as he’s faced with taking care of both wife and unexpected child, finding a strange Peace in all that madness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Fugue state, dysmorphia, baby health issues. I think that’s it. 
> 
> This one is for KING_EVELYN because I think you will figure out a little around the middle. 
> 
> I don’t think I have any body horror in this. To clarify: Bee isn’t morphing zir body repeatedly, ze are keeping zir body in the same state to nurse the baby. So, zir body is not in a place ze feel comfortable. 
> 
> Gabriel isn’t just handsy he’s getting fucking BRAVE! And Bee is…well having moments of intense stress and maybe some more emotional problems than anyone realized. You know. Trauma related disassociation. 
> 
> The baby is having their own terrifying moments. 
> 
> I WILL say this is half traumatic and half fluff. Just a heads up. Trauma in the first half, fluff in the last.
> 
> I’m home from things for a few days, getting testing done, I’m not sure if what’s up is do to the body slam messing around with my body but it feels familiar (lolololol I could tell you that I have done stupid things to myself in life and have broken things.) so I’m not too worried. Just feeling things out. But things are still hairy out there and still going.

Days were passed like that, on edge and distressed. With a lot of mixed emotions. 

Gabriel would pick up meals for his wife and his wife would feed the baby, while he healed zir, taxing zir corporation. Ze were drained in more ways than one, in ways ze wouldn’t admit. But they would work with each other to take care of the little one, helping the tiny being with upset tummies, dealing with bouts of trying to take hold of anything their tiny fists could get hold of to put in their mouth, usually Beelzebub’s hair, and the alarming spells of shrieking and extreme fits of shaking no baby should have. 

Neither ethereal knew how to fix it, even with angelic healing. 

It terrified the Prince. Making zir Damn zirself in thought, Beelzebub believed that ze were responsible for the child’s unknown ailment, believing ze cursed them with zir own Damnation with the breath of Life ze tried to instill with zir own essence. Ze even feared zir milk was causing the baby harm in a different way than expected but tried to reason that they would have most like have Died already, were that the case. And ze would give anything to make it stop. Ze just couldn’t figure out what would work if ze didn’t know what caused it. It would happen so suddenly and start with the shaking and the baby’s breathing would hitch and huff. 

Ze could tell it wasn’t hunger – ze felt nothing like that – and the smell of Birth and Death would intensify, and Beelzebub would pick up hints of rosemary ze could not keep from panicking over. Ze wouldn’t physically react more than a widening of terrified eyes and try soothing them, holding their tiny form close, feeling aimless and becoming mostly tacit. All the demon could do was try to cool down their body that burned too hot, while they tried to sense what was going on through zir infernal senses. Ze wouldn’t even breathe as ze were too upset and focused. 

And the angel was just as so, planting his hands over the child, feeling that strange otherworldly pull, that was made of neither him nor Beelzebub, within the baby. He’d not mention how it’d affected him, trying not to panic the Prince as he would calmly suggest Divine intervention. The idea would only make zir pale and quickly refuse, saying the baby might not be strong enough to handle it. He’d notice how ze would take a step away, and he’d tried to placate zir, remove his hands from them, and bend down to get zir to look in his eyes. He’d be exact in his words and assuage the fly demon’s fear as carefully as he could. Let zir take that step closer so he could help with the baby. 

The Demon Prince had already been working through metaphysical ways – demonic ways – in which to sever the tie, but it was like tentatively trying to put a broken bone back into place that had lost pieces. 

Ze didn’t know the baby would have these horrific fits. 

Despite their confusion and alarm, the baby would eventually quiet and calm on their own. It was as if nothing had happened, and the two ethereal beings would speculate and worry. Uncertainty over the baby’s state was their normal. 

The very first time it happened, and after ze had meticulously and gently inspected every inch of the newborn, Beelzebub gave Gabriel a list of human books to acquire, at any cost. He was given a second list to tuck away in any cemetery by a church. Claiming it should be filled within a day or so. He managed to acquire the files, finding them covered in grave dirt in an open single tomb after a brief meeting in Heaven, and the books from that strange blonde Principality who seemed to have some issue Gabriel couldn’t ascertain on him leaving. 

Eventually, they both came up with a plan for how to move the baby, roughly when, and what to do in the event they went into a bout of inhuman shrieking fits. They both knew they would have to move the child soon, dreading it. Both hoped by that time the child would stop smelling of Death, but Beelzebub said that it cloyed to the mortal one. 

It wasn’t safe to stay in one place. 

Beelzebub tried to insist that traveling by carriage would be best, fastest and shielded with the scent of the Living, but the angel was weary. He didn’t want to put other humans at risk and have the ethereal World revealed to them if there were to be an attack. Eventually, they decided that it would be best to leave their small sanctuary when the newborn’s pulse seemed more stable and go by foot. That was practical. In the meantime, Beelzebub couldn’t leave for anything, not even to open the door, but ze were able to handle that from usually being in Hell. It was when Gabriel was gone that things were more unsettling. 

But everything else was in step. 

Easily, they would wordlessly take turns cleaning up the baby, whether changing diaper clothes and washing them, or bathing the child, bouncing and rocking them, burping them and cleaning spitup, playing tactile and spatial awareness games that Beelzebub said was good for mental and physical development; but feeding was the only thing that they had their specific roles in. And it usually left the Prince quiet after. 

Sometimes Gabriel could sense a tremble in zir that worried him. And sometimes, following those trembles, ze would break away immediately, placing the child in Gabriel’s care. Busy zirself with the angel’s paperwork or preparing the bath water for the child, or cleaning things that no longer needed cleaning. He relearned ze were astonishingly orderly and clean in most ways and chaotic in very specific ways, but he had learned a little of that from their very first unexpected stay together in Italy... 

But, when ze would draw away like that, he’d catch how ze would stare at them, unable to get close to undo the look in zir eyes. Guarded and calculating and closing off. Usually moving away if he tried to go to zir. 

And often times, he’d catch zir kissing the baby’s hands or face and head, avoiding their skull’s soft spots. Ze would coo at the child and praise them and smile soft secret smiles. Ze would hold the baby more frequently than not. He’d say nothing, having learned that Beelzebub would draw back if it was acknowledged. Gabriel couldn’t figure out how else to encourage zir, he liked watching zir be like that with the baby. So, he let zir be when he’d catch it, wishing to be open with his observations. Wishing to show zir that ze were allowed to be so. Wishing to be let in. 

The demon wasn’t the only one toeing certain lines. 

Gabriel was just as guilty with giving the child affection, angelic affection and Love, of course, he wasn’t forming attachments. Of course not. He would give the small one little kisses on the head, without hiding them. Or kiss their cute little fingers as they curled around his absolutely giant looking ones, certainly finding it amusing to see such a huge difference. But he’d sneak affections to Beelzebub. Small gestures that he was finding he could get away with, for the most part. 

As ze fed the baby, the angel would touch zir a little more, wrapping his arms around zir to draw zir closer before they would settle into their needed positions and having to lay his hands on zir. He’d use tiny cherubic grabby hands as an excuse to brush zir hair away any chance he got. Place his hands on zir shoulders or arms. Sometimes he’d even manage to wrap his hands around zir own and under the guise that he warm them up for zir so they wouldn’t be so cold when touching the baby. He’d wrap zir slender hands up and rub them. Hold them. However, it was when, sitting next to zir, he would plant his face in zir hair or bump his head against zir own that was the most jarring and intense. It was too close and felt like it was knocking something familiar and hidden from zir loose in the back of zir head. Ze’d involuntarily jerk away little, at first, but settle back slowly. 

But neither would ze say anything. The Prince would deny to zir last breath that ze would anchor zirself against him when he’d get that close. 

And yet, sometimes, even in the quiet moments, ze felt the urge to get as far away as possible. Pull away from him. Run. Leave. It wasn’t safe. Gentleness and angels and mortal babies weren’t supposed to be for zir. Not like that... 

Only Gabriel could conflict zir usually unmoving state like that. Him…or his brother. And the thought of what zir King would have in store for zir on returning would make zir fight and flight sense kick in. But ze couldn’t leave them. 

Ze had struck a deal. 

Ze couldn’t leave the baby. 

Ze were responsible for the damage ze thought ze had wrought on the tiny helpless soul. And ze feared, if left in Gabriel’s hands, he wouldn’t be able to help the child and they would Die and be victim to the devourer that marked their essence. Not from him causing harm, but from being unable to find someone to feed the baby. It’d be zir fault and ze wouldn’t let that happen. 

Ze would endure all of that to save one innocent. Even if zir excuses to Hell and Lucifer weren’t sufficient (of which ze were certain they were). Even if it meant something far worse for zir... 

So, it became a frustrating game of hot and cold between them, but Gabriel listened to zir tells as best he could, removing himself from zir side when he’d see zir twitch and draw back when ze weren’t feeding the baby. He wasn’t sure what it stemmed from, but he wouldn’t push as long as ze stayed with him. 

They would fall back into step right away, whenever the baby needed them or ze’d shake it off. And the irrelevant discussions grew, or sometimes bickering about one’s angelic or demonic behaviors, but a relative ease did set in. And yet, it didn’t escape the Archangel that ze would look and seem more tired than the last feeding...it didn’t help that there were so many. And that led to the other issue they faced. 

Beelzebub wouldn’t sleep. 

Ze just kept refusing. Even when Gabriel had said that it would be better for zir body and properly regaining energy to help. 

Even the first night, after having zir corporation torn up and forcing it to work so shortly after healing, ze had kept to a corner by the windows, blade at the ready. Beelzebub insisted the angel had to do what the baby needed and at least lay on the bed, baby on his chest. Said it helped them learn how to breathe properly as they slept and grew. When told that it should be zir doing that, ze insisted it was best if Gabriel did, as his body’s temperature was better regulated for the baby and that ze were better for keeping watch. He tried not to argue and, with zir help, got situated and lay himself out, being very succinctly told to shut it so as not to disturb the baby. 

This went on for one and a half weeks as they planned their next course of action, entirely on edge and always on watch. The two higher beings decided to leave for two towns backwards, after the Archangel could do some Heavenly recon, even if the scent didn’t wear off the baby. The theory was that the rebels wouldn’t leave the child be. They went over their notes about the scenes; the way the humans were laid out, ancient meanings behind parts of the ritual, the perpetrators they knew of, all details released by Brontis, but nothing gave them direction. And Beelzebub flat out REFUSED to discuss what ze had been shown...but so did Gabriel. 

There were just some things he couldn’t discuss with his wife. 

All they could pinpoint was that there had been no further attacks on new mothers and their offspring since retrieving the baby. And so, they both agreed that they couldn’t just leave the baby anywhere. It was too dangerous for the child. 

They were both in agreement that they’d have to be the ones to take care of them and keep it secret. Especially from their respective head offices. Beelzebub was forced to remain with the little one and decided it would be best to be completely cut off from Hell. Ze couldn’t go back smelling of baby, and not like milk. Ze were weary of how their corporation reeked of it and angel, feeling as though the baby’s scent and milk clung to them. And then there was the issue of altering zir body just to go and then come back... 

Gabriel, however, was not so burdened and tasked with gathering the intel they needed to plot their course. To see if there had been other attacks. He could come and go with ease, discovering the scent didn’t seem to linger on him and he’d will the scent away. 

They had no other choice, really. 

It did raise Beelzebub’s anxiety up several levels but ze believed ze kept that hidden. He left them for Heaven only thrice. And prior to each trip ze stole pieces from him, his waistchain and then his rather flowery handkerchief, and the last time his fob seal that had hung from his waistcoat, and would glare him down if he said anything about it. He actually found it both frustrating and strangely...endearing. But, again, would not say a word. He’d collect his things when he’d come back, thinking zir a little wiley in zir demonic ways. It wasn’t actually harmful. 

By the fourth day, nearly dusk, of the second week, Beelzebub collapsed while tending to the little one after finishing changing their swaddle. It was so sudden, but Gabriel had been inches away, discussing what he had learned from his third brief return to Heaven. 

Ze just tilted sideways and Gabriel rushed to catch zir, managing just in time. “All right, Bee, that’s it. Bed. No more fighting this.” 

“The baby!” Ze reached out for them even in zir half lucid state. 

“Don’t worry about the baby.” 

“No. Bring them with us.” 

“We aren’t lea-” 

“Grab the baby, Gabriel!” 

“Okay. Okay.” 

Ze had planted zirself, despite zir clear shaking and wobbling but Gabriel helped zir scoop up the infant and cradle them close and brought them both to bed and pulled away the bedsheets. He lay them out carefully and took off zir boots, palming the arch of each foot, and brushing a hand down zir ankle, feeling ze were freezing. He drew the thick blanket up and tucked them both in. But before he turned away, planning to get things to wash zir up a little, noticing zir sweat, ze had hold of him. 

“Where are you going?...” 

“I’m not going far, dearest. Just wait a minute, I want to wipe down your skin and do your hair while you both get comfortable. You’ll be able to rest easier.” 

“...You can do that tomorrow.......just…stay with u-...the baby. I’m too cold to hold the baby like this for too long.” 

Had this been any other being, he wouldn’t have felt the urge to launch himself next to them. He pursed his lips as though to contemplate it before nodding and went around to the other side of the bed and removed his own footwear, coat and waistcoat, to slip between the covers. 

As if they had done this hundreds of times before, they adjusted to each other, Beelzebub laying the baby out on Gabriel’s chest and him taking hold of zir hand to lay against the back of the infant. His other found its way around zir back and ze shifted closer, the angel could already see zir eyes fluttering close, dark circles still looking like bruises as ze got right up to be able to lay zir head against him. 

He just moved into it, keeping in mind that he wasn’t supposed to touch zir like this, that it was wrong. He shouldn’t. That he wouldn’t betray zir with a kiss to zir false smooth skin of zir forehead. He brushed his lips against zir in passing instead of that betraying kiss. It wasn’t a kiss. Breathing in zir honey and earthy sage-like scent that infused zir very being as he settled. 

A sigh of relief and pulling up the covers and Beelzebub was asleep in his arms, buzzing away that ridiculously soft little buzz, keeping hold of the child and his shirt. 

**************************** 

They continued on in this vein, sleeping together like that every night, without comment. Gabriel finally feeling like he could relax just a hair more in regards to the infernal, finally seeing ze would sleep. 

Not too long after, nearly another two, Beelzebub was laying out on the bed, sprawled and pale but not as tense as prior. The bruising under zir eyes looked a little lighter and zir face wasn’t as drawn. It was a vast improvement, in Gabriel’s opinion. He was getting more comfortable with zir pushing that they leave soon, the baby was getting stronger. Even with all zir weird half-waking behaviors he’d catch zir doing every few nights, he was becoming confident in the idea to leave their sanctuary. 

He couldn’t stop his heart from rebelling on him as it shouldn’t when he would see zir wake up, be so gentle with the baby, hear such contented sighs, kiss their cheek or nose softly, before ze’d fall back to sleep. Or when Beelzebub would whisper to them things like, “our sweet little flower.” 

He couldn’t say that ze sounded like zirself; too quiet, too soft, too different. That smile, on seeing it again on him, was sleepy and soft. And the voice he had heard non-stop for eternity, the one that had cried more than sang since the billowing of dark smoke on that fateful night, seemed to stifle for and try a little harder to sing. But it was so mournful...

He knew ze shouldn’t be buzzing in delight on looking at him like that, either. 

And yet, it made him feel warmer all the same. And he had no explanation for zir behavior and certainly could not reason why ze would touch HIM so gently and, dare he say again, sweet. Ze would turn to him and brush away his hair, nuzzle closer...kiss him again...and fall back to sleep. 

It was shocking. Kind of alarming. But he wouldn’t stop zir, he’d steal away these soft gestures and kisses and carefully tuck them away into the back most part of his mind. They were his, even if he couldn’t understand the why. 

And he’d certainly not mention any of that in the light of day. Not when ze seemed so detached in the morning. Ze’d warm up throughout the day and then turn cold again, over and over, giving emotional whiplash. 

In that moment, it was hard to read if ze were willing or not after ze had fed the small wiggling child in his arms, but Beelzebub hadn’t pushed either of them away. Just collapsed on the bed after. 

He watched how the light from the window hit zir black hair, making it seem invitingly soft and similar to the downy wings of a raven. Zir skin, though paler than he thought good for zir, looked much unlike zir scarred and boiled form and looked more akin to unpainted marble. Though still beautiful, it made him a little extra concerned that ze were more sickly looking. The angel was very pleased by the fact that ze had at least taken to changing into nightgowns to sleep in. They were soft chemises that were simple but a great deal of extra fabric. Flowy. This one had pretty floral patterns embroidered into the neckline. Gabriel certainly couldn’t say he was opposed to this look, so he wouldn’t say anything if ze lounged about in it longer than necessary. 

He couldn’t help watching the steady pulse at zir throat as zir neck elongated as ze stretched and sighed. 

“I have a new respect for humans that breastfeed and rear human children. This one doesn’t even speak or move much and yet I’m so dreadfully tired.” 

“To be fair, I think your corporation is over-exerted from battle and its sudden drastic alterations. A human develops over the course of nine months to do what you’ve had to force your body to do. You made it happen in a few minutes.” He bopped the baby, trying to keep them appeased and moved to sit on the edge of the bed by the Prince. Instead of laying still, or moving away, ze curled up around his warm frame and brought zir knees around his backside and placed zir hands over the baby and wrapped zir arms around his thigh and knee. 

It was rather casual and comforting a sight. Intimate. Another thing he wouldn’t mention a thing about it. 

-Right. Warm, it is, then. 

“Z’not an experience I would wish to go through again. Can’t imagine you’re doing much better having to constantly heal me.” Ze tapped his thigh and began to run circles over his kneecap, absentmindedly. Ze were bored and tired and unable to be in control of much, which wasn’t a good recipe. “It makes me wonder though…” 

“About what?” 

“What else was in my file you have on me, pigeon? About my body...” Ze didn’t glare, ze were too tired to glare. The Prince tried to manage as ze rested zir cheek against his thigh, which took away any bite ze may have had. Ze could only manage a glint. Gabriel, however, didn’t have any issue with sharing this information as it was about zir own body, it was essentially zir department. That couldn’t be much of a secret and it was zir business, in his opinion. Anything that the Almighty had deemed not Beelzebub’s wasn’t in it. Removed from history. 

“It says that you were given Life as a prototype, deemed a woman with all their Life-making abilities and the mold for their general attributes and functions. It said you had the ability to procreate and sustain the Life you bore, having a fully functioning reproductive system. It was part of project under the file name “Lifebearer” and included those who were created ‘man’ as well, every Fallen and Angel is listed. That was all that I had found, and the subsequent documents on that project. The project was terminated After the Rebellion.” 

-Not so fucking terminated, was it?- was throttled about in zir head. 

"Zo, you're telling me that the project was terminated, and didn't know the HOW of it. How did you even know that I could alter my corporation to lactate then?"

"I didn't." His lips drew into a tight line and he wouldn't look at them. "I went on an assumption based on what I did know about you."

That was worth the energy to care. His lack of follow through could have killed the baby and ze had been foolish enough to trust him. Ze were livid but didn't know exactly how to act on zir rage. Just stare in defeat. It would have been zir fault for trusting him still.

"That was dangerous." Ze did manage to growl out.

"It was all we had and I stand by that decision to use that information. You saved them."

Ze could throttle the angel. Later.

“What was the purpose of such a stupid project?” Ze cringed in absolute disgust. 

“Not my place to ask.” 

“What a fu...bloody joke.” 

Ze didn’t like this fact to be confirmed that ze were seen in the eyes of Heaven as a blessed “prototype” and a woman. The very thought didn’t need to pass through zir mind to know one other who would be on that list...Beelzebub knew ze were being used in Hell, used in ways ze ignored or purposefully blanked out on. It made zir sick – nervously eye the angel – thinking over the implications of what had transpired months ago and zir failure. Still believing that Gabriel would hurt zir if he knew ze had failed in delivering Armageddon. They all wanted that War.

-Maybe I was broken in my Fall. 

But ze dismissed it all, it was irrelevant and unimportant now. Lucifer would take it out of zir hide on returning. It didn’t matter if that was how ze would be used, there was no point in caring. It would happen, whether ze wanted it to or not. 

-What in the names of Heaven and Hell makes that so important for everyone else to know? Why would that be so important a shred of information for them to keep? And why the fuck do they let every other fucker know?! 

It felt violating and invasive, but it didn’t really surprise zir at all with the way things were. 

“Z’that all?” 

“I’m afraid so. Everything else about you from Before was redacted. Anything new has been added over time.” He did not want to include that he had been the one to amend zir file to include ‘former Seraphim,’ nor list zir accomplishments that he knew of, or which angels ze had discorporated…not too happy to list those ze had permanently killed. He wouldn’t say how he was the one to update as he learned, or what he purposefully ensured would NEVER make it into those files. 

No one would ever know how ze had been hurt like that, as he had promised. It was irrelevant to Heaven, in his opinion. 

It wasn’t like other files weren’t updated. Every Fallens’ file had been since After the Rebellion. The only thing that had combined the Before to the After was anything the Almighty had deemed important about the individual She had made, and an updated image. Even their old faces had been erased though now Gabriel had been revealed in his regained memories how not much had changed of Beelzebub’s features. 

“Bee...how did you pick your names? Where did they come from?” 

“...I didn’t. The humans named me Ba’al, and Lord of the Fliers or flies because that’s what they associated me with. The more human ones I took on simply because I had heard them, z’all.” 

“Have you remembered your-” 

“No.” Zir frustration kicked out with a short sharp bite of the word, but ze didn’t even know why ze cared enough to. Ze were too drained. “Z’not my name to keep and I don’t want it.” 

Beelzebub had long begun to play with the small feet of the little one, wiggling their tiny toes and brushing the pads of their feet with zir long fingers, making the baby wiggle and blabber on their own. 

“We should name the baby...” Gabriel said, a strange melancholic sound to his voice and Beelzebub snapped up into a sitting position. Too alarmed and not realizing just how close the two were, even when zir sore bust bumped into him and ze refused to flinch. 

“No.” 

“We can’t just keep calling them ‘the baby.’” 

“Names hold power.” Beelzebub growled, ze didn’t want to add how it also held attachments with it. 

-Ethereal beings should not be going about naming humans. WE should not be naming humans. 

“Come, now. You said they’re new and alone, they have no one to name them. What will we tell the ones we give them to?” 

Beelzebub froze, they both hadn’t discussed what they would do with the baby AFTER, it had been more important on keeping them alive first. Ze knew though, ze had always known because that was expected. Ze simply hadn’t thought WHO they would give the child to nor WHEN. 

“We tell them that we found this child, just as we did. No names.” 

“The humans will be curious.” 

“Let them be. They’re always curious, angel.” 

“Don’t you think it’s sad to be left without even a name?” 

Ze had had enough. The demon had abandon want of a name, learning who ze once were, it was pointless, and he was trying to prey on feelings ze absolutely did NOT have on the matter. 

“Don’t care. This baby does not care. They can name them.” 

There was another long silence, and they stared each other down. The only sound being that of a bubbling nameless child, making babbling noises in the arms of an Archangel. He wasn’t necessarily afraid of zir… 

“I think...” 

“Clearly you aren’t.” 

A clear warning but it was just as clear that the angel was determined. He really didn’t like the idea of letting the little one roam without one. And it wasn’t like the tiny human was Beelzebub’s to decide what to do with. If anything, Gabriel had just as much right to decide things for the human child, in his opinion. 

A name. A very specific one that he knew, in part, belonged to someone. Then an image, words the demon spoke in sleepy whispers to the baby, and warmth spread through the angel. He had it. 

“Liatris.” 

“Gabriel!” 

“Like the flower. And it’s similar to one of the other names you go by, sometimes: Beatrice. It’s funny how your name means ‘she who makes happiness.’” He chuckled, bouncing the small one. 

Liatris. A flower sometimes called Shooting Star. Assumed to be from the asterid cande of plants. Another type of star. Like an earthborn connection to the Heavens. Always reaching. It meant joy, bliss, happiness. 

-Bloody bastard. No! 

Something within zir corporation rejected every inflection of the name and ze snapped. Of the assumed reasoning behind his choice. Of how he sounded the sweet name out. Of the implications behind the choice. Beelzebub felt pained and desolate and beyond aggravated over the stupid angel’s stupid and careless thought. 

Ze couldn’t handle it. 

“Do you NOT lizzten?” Ze spat, but the baby, now named Liatris, cooed happily and seemed to... 

“Did they just smile?” 

“Don’t change the zzzubject!” 

“No, Bee, look! I think the baby smiled.” He adjusted closer, and not away, to the irate demon and started cooing back to the child in his ridiculously voice. “Liatris? Did you smile? Do you like your name, little lamb?” 

And they were indeed smiling. That little smile that little babies do when just figuring out how to work their facial muscles into a facsimile of a smile. Liatris smiled up at them, eyes roving from one being to the other, face mimicking the Archangel’s wide smile, and flexing tiny fingers open and close. 

Beelzebub was furious, but the damage was done. The child smiled up at zir and gurgled at zir frowning face. 

-Don’t look at me that way... 

But the child unknowingly rebelled against the demon that way that babies do that make them sort of endearing, and the cazzo bastardo de Dio that held the child looked far too pleased over the event. 

Ze put zir head in zir hands and groaned, “Give me the baby, pigeon.” 

“Liatris.” 

“Give me Liatris, idiot.” 

“Sure thing, dearest.” He was smiling too smugly at zir but carefully placed the baby in zir arms and adjusted zir braid from over zir shoulder to slip down zir back so little hands couldn’t snag it. Getting up, he went and retrieved a book he had picked up from Aziraphale about demons (To add about his little venture to Aziraphale’s bookshop; ‘picked up’ is a generous phrase. He may have well indeed taken it from a flustered Aziraphale who couldn’t deny the persistent and ebullient Archangel. This particular procurement was after Gabriel spotted it on his way out with Beelzebub’s precise listings, thinking a certain demon may be amused to look it over). It was also something he thought would be useful to see what the humans believed about Earth’s and Heaven’s adversary. 

He gave one of his effervescent smiles and waved the book at zir, like a Peace offering, and ze tilted zir head at him, recalling what he had told zir about the tome. A small shift in zir face, in zir lips, and he saw that ze were willing to accept. Didn’t really have much of a choice, if anyone was to ask zir though and ze turned to the cherubic baby in zir arms. 

“Now, little Hellion, you’re going to learn how stupid your people are when it comes to mine.” 

Gabriel settled himself on the other side of the bed and propped up the pillows behind Beelzebub before he took hold of zir hips and dragged them both back. The shocked Prince eyed him for his audacity before curling up with the child in zir arms, next to zir sworn enemy. And the three passed a few hours like that, reading aloud from a tome that was definitely not age appropriate, though the baby didn’t seem to pay attention, save when either party would speak directly to them. Liatris would sometimes make baby noises and faces that emulated the demon or angel. 

It was one such face that had the angel roaring in laughter as the child made such a serious and stern face that he couldn’t help it, verbally comparing the look to his angry wife. However, he turned to see the demon frowning– which, of course, only made Gabriel laugh all the harder, on noticing, and Beelzebub flicked him just on the side of too hard – and ze said that “Liatris is right to be mad, theze tozzerz have gone wild and need to be reeled back in.” Ze were cross! 

Then there were parts that revealed demons being smote and dealt with, making Beelzebub grumble. Other situations humans simply made fools of themselves and made things exponentially worse in turn made both a Demon Prince and an Archangel actually snicker at the predicament the mortals brought on themselves. Gabriel claimed it was justice being served for dealing with demons on being called out on it. 

Though some of the passages were utterly ridiculous and earned more open laughs or comment. There were some that caused them to speculate if it was actually angelic in nature, as well. The back and forth over what could have transpired devolved into what unsanctioned actions were taken to allow the humans that close to either kind. 

Beelzebub groused about the suspects on zir side who may have been stupid or ballsy enough to muck things up so badly. The angel was confused why the humans so often sought council and help from demons, to which the Prince added, “Because my lot are willing to work with the humans, not just shame them. But in most cases the humans are too greedy and foolish to want more than power or superficial things. They trade what’s precious for such trivialities on the mortal plain.” 

“I thought you would be pleased and applaud their superficial dealings with your kind.” 

“I do, Love, like this.” And ze clapped unenthusiastically to which the baby tried to mimic, and Beelzebub crooned softly at them and became more enthusiastic. “That’s right, little hellion, just like that. I expect fully functioning motor skills for accompaniment.” 

“Beeee, don’t teach the child to be sarcastic.” 

“I’m surprised you even knew that was sarcasm. But look at how well they do it, Love.” Ze chuckled as the baby’s little fingers clumsily flailed as they tried to clap along. Beelzebub scooped their little hands in zir own and Gabriel couldn’t stop himself from planting a large hand in the middle, making the baby take hold and try to gnaw at it. 

“It seems, they’ve also taken up your awful habit of biting.” 

“Oh, please, it’s only a little gnawing. Not the first time you’ve been bitten, and I shouldn’t be the only one the baby takes a chunk out of.” Ze grumbled, but zir lips were fighting zir and ticked up. The Archangel’s lips also quirked but with no hesitation, recalling one particular bite that was more than a simple “gnawing” and he eyed zir, one eyebrow raised but not really accusing. 

He didn’t expect zir to turn a bit red and clear zir throat, turn away, and refocus on the baby. He continued to try to stop zir from encouraging such behaviors, even if he found it cute despite knowing it wasn’t entirely good nor bad. 

Raspberries may have been blown when the Prince scoffed at something, in turn Beelzebub would copy, overly pleased. There may have well been some jeering and booing that made the baby start to make “ooooo” sounds in chorus, very much to the demon’s delight. And ze would try to get the little one to annunciate the “b” and wickedly chuckle at their efforts. Gabriel would only roll his eyes and scold them with a smile to his lips, each time. It was a surprise the Demon Prince managed to not nip at his hand when he had waived it about at them the first few times. But when ze did ze took to it with such force; grabbing his hand, saying “You scorn us, but I will teach you not to do so carelessly, you great big bloody bird!” 

And ze bit his wrist just on the side of not too painful, wrapping zir fierce little mouth around the flesh there and he was shocked when he could feel zir tongue on him. Matter of fact, it didn’t do any of the things he knew his corporation should do on being bitten by an enemy and his face felt like it had been hit by a burst of fire. He jostled and retracted his hand, making Beelzebub’s mouth pop on being removed from him, and he eyed zir, noting zir playful and wicked little smirk. Eyes alight in mischief. 

That did NOT do well for his corporation either. 

“Can we just get through this without maiming me.” 

“Oooo, poor sweet angel.” Ze crooned, mocking. “Should have known, I’ll never give you such Mercies.” 

“Fiend.” 

"Naturally, dearest."

-Not helping. 

The Messenger pointedly forced his errant corporation to behave and purposefully got them back on with reading. 

Which continued on until Gabriel realized he had been the only one saying anything for a while. He hadn’t realized when a small curly head had settled on his shoulder until he turned to see Beelzebub nestled there, baby held surprisingly careful in zir slight arms. Both smaller beings had fallen asleep, one sounding as any human baby would while the other emitting zir usual soft barely noticeable buzz. 

The Archangel of the Dawn couldn’t help but smile down at the sight of the diminutive infernal snuggled up with the infant, buzzing away. He hadn’t meant to, but he lay his head against zirs for a few seconds and breathed in deep, feeling a contentment he hadn’t felt in his current memories. It wasn’t the same as the flashes from Before, with his little lost Lover, but it was better than usual. But he couldn’t quell very particular thoughts from dampening things. 

-Just let me have this...just a little longer... 

For the moment, Gabriel chose to dismiss his errors, it wasn’t the time for anything else. He had to keep telling himself that their charge was more important, and he reasoned seeing affections displayed was healthy. Sharing affection was good. And he’d reaffirm he should do these things with his wife. Ze were his wife, after all. He was an angel, it was part of what he did, for crying out loud. He had reason to continue to lay with zir. For the baby’s sake and health. 

He put the book down and tried to take the baby, but Beelzebub wouldn’t let go. So, instead, he draped the blanket over them and pulled zir and the child close, adjusting them so that neither were squished, and leaned back to support them and sighed as the Prince snuggled closer. 

His heart felt heavy as he drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been dying to share how they named the baby, Bee’s reaction, the reasons, what the two would do about the baby, little ways that they connected without realizing, and Bee’s aversions when they reared their head. There was so much that I needed to divulge and share and I hope it read well. 
> 
> I had scored old names for a while for this. The deciding factor was a gender-neutral name that was popular at one point in the 1700s, related to flowers, and held good meaning. When I found Liatris and then saw how the flower looked it clicked. And I found a way to relate it back to another of Bee’s aliases. I really like the name Beatrice and Beatrix that people use so I wanted to bring that in. (It also pops up again in the next arc for specific reasons. You’ll see.) 
> 
> I had the second half written around the same time as the other sections, I didn’t realize how it’d play out one after another. The name did fall into place a while after it though, I wanted it to be special so that took time. 
> 
> Gabriel is a handsy fucker and I stand by that. And he’s a sneaky bastard. 
> 
> Bee is having zir own moments. Sneakily stealing kisses on a whole nother level than Gabriel! What is UP with this demon? Wild child! 
> 
> Meanwhile baby is I hope developing as an intriguing character for everyone. I will promise to be careful with their storyline. And to note about the baby’s gender: it doesn’t matter to them and they don’t know it yet because the baby can’t speak. Also Bee hasn’t picked up yet on how Gabriel has stuck to singular they for the baby. That will dawn on zir later though. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think, I always enjoy everyone’s comments. I also take con-crit very seriously as I wish to improve and really look over what you tell me. I appreciate that. Comments about what you liked always brighten my day but I like to commiserate over things you didn’t like either, so hit me with both. Song suggestions are ALWAYS appreciated too. 
> 
> Please stay safe! <3 Thanks for everyone’s encouragement and kind words and the time you take out of your day to comment! <3


	21. Panic & Chaos Often Make Good Bedfellows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have been rather calm for a certain demon and angel and their little charge, kept secret from Heaven and Hell. Uncertain of how to handle unholy epileptic fits of a child who should be Dead, the two have hunkered down and been too reluctant to leave their self-made sanctuary. But what happens when memories and dreams torment and the scent of rosemary fill the air?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up that lurid semi-graphic smut (heavy petting and oral) are within the first half of this chapter. This one is a bit of a rollercoaster and Gabriel is really along for the ride. It’s also consensual. 
> 
> TW: Panic attack, awful inference of child death and torture (though short), brief stabbing mention, PTSD issues. 
> 
> If you aren’t here for the smut you can jump down but don’t go TOO far because plot picks right back up and there are things within that part (particularly towards the end) that are a little important. There’s also a lot of feelings that I hope come across throughout that section.
> 
> It's a slightly longer chapter but I stand behind that decision for pacing and story. But please let me know what you think.

He never meant to fall asleep, but he found it hard to resist sometimes. He was tired, too, with everything going on and using as much energy as he did on the Prince to keep zir body functioning. He didn’t really like it though, it made him nervous when he did. All too often he would recall the last time he had slept and how ze had left him where he lay. So, it was extremely unexpected how easily he kept slipping off. It had been another few days, just a few, but his mind did him no favors. 

This particular night he dreamt of a memory that he had tried his best to keep buried. There wasn’t really anything wrong with this memory, it was just...too intimate. It wasn’t his intent to dream of it either, it just...happened. 

The Archangel and his lost Lover were laying out in a field, much like one of his firsts of her. However, unlike that rather innocent first, Gabriel was between her legs, blunt fingers carving soft indents into her thighs, and his tongue...sliding all the way up the length of her slit to flick the tip up her clit. She arched back, pale skin seeming to shimmer in the moonlight from sweat that glistened on her body. He felt her thighs tremble in his hands and he remembered feeling ecstasy over making her react like so. 

As she arched, her small breasts jut out and he felt himself stiffen, aching to touch her there. How he wanted to move up her body and whisper sweet things to her before getting one of her rosy nipples in his mouth. Hear the moans that would escape her from his light teasing. 

But he couldn’t hear a single moan from her lips. A hand was there covering her mouth, only a strangled gasp escaped released. As though she wasn’t ready to allow herself to let go. 

And oh, how Gabriel REALLY wanted her to allow herself. Anything. Any pleased discerning sound. 

And he could feel that in his former self’s desires as well as his own awareness. He wanted to hear her come undone. He felt once more how he wanted to ruin her composure and hold she had on herself. It was this memory that had clicked that he knew her as generally quiet, feeling pleased at the challenge she had presented to him. 

A thought at the back of his head came and he felt his fingers dig a little into her supple thighs, his large hands clamped around the tops of them, carefully spread her out wider before him, giving him better access to slip his tongue between her folds. He felt the muscles beneath her smooth flesh tense and noticed, once more, how her legs planted by his sides flexed. He nuzzled his cheek against her inner thigh then bit into her. He looked up at her writhing form before sinking his tongue back into her heat, planting open mouthed kisses every time he heard a strangled sigh, until her feet followed her legs, arching a little. Small toes burrowing into the dirt. He kept it up, changing his tactics in his urge to make her lose restraint of herself. 

And his Lover came shuddering and almost completely silent, on his tongue and tasting of nothing. 

Even still, despite still feeling far too uncomfortable by experiencing such intimate acts, knowing in his hidden thoughts that this was something they had both committed and consented to doing with each other, looking her over he couldn’t help but think she looked beautiful in such rapture. Even though he felt a thief and wrong, she still looked so to him. Even though she still wouldn’t make a Damned sound, nor look at him. 

He remembered that clearly the first time the memory played through his head, how she silently huffed and writhed and grasped at his hair. Just in time with the thought of it, she slipped her hands over both sides of his face, grazing his ears and scraping at his scalp, making him shiver, but he still could not see her face. 

After a while of this, he nipped her thigh again, and sighed. He lay more kisses teasing so close to the juncture between her legs. Nuzzling his face against her, bringing his mouth down her other leg, taking her hand from his cheek and pressing a kiss to the palm of it, then to her delicate looking fingers. 

Gabriel then licked her fingers and held that hand as he began to travel up her body. He felt the need to have her touch him. Wanting her to take hold of him. 

He licked and kissed his way up the smooth expanse of her belly, as he made his way to her breasts, as soon as he felt small delicate fingers graze him, reaching for him tentatively, he felt that flip of his heart again. His breath came out quicker than he felt it should have. Gabriel felt the way his heart sunk now, knowing that his heart once often flipped because of her, from a smile he no longer remembered. 

Gabriel nuzzled her bosom, palming one while still having hold of her hand, as his mouth met with a bud, he closed around it and flicked it a few times with his tongue, making her shudder. He worked his way back down her peak than between, right over her breastbone and planted a kiss there. Feeling the timbre of her heart that lay beneath. 

Her heart had once beat beneath his lips...It had been there...And he felt the Love pouring off her drowning him. It felt wonderful to feel it there even now, because it made her real. When now he had nothing else of her. He felt a fool for looking at her blushing skin and not her face. 

Making his way further up, he kissed the crook of her neck, before biting her hard enough to earn an open-mouthed strangled cry and her body pressed up against his. One hand guiding her to his member to fully take hold and guide her in stroking his turgid length, his other wrapping around the small of her back, digging nails into her skin, feeling the muscle beneath. 

Again, he was conflicted by the way it felt. Both reveling in her touch and Love but feeling like he was violating her. Feeling like though it had all happened, and clearly wanted by both, that he was taking back a memory of her body, her hand, her intimate touch, her Love that he could no longer share in. It wasn’t his to behold anymore, and he couldn’t stop it. Not even in dreams, apparently... 

She let out another gasp as he bit her again, just at the base of her jaw and she squeezed him, making him growl. It was difficult to try to remove himself from the moment. He craved it just as much as he wanted to run from it. 

It was then he heard her start to beg in breathy quiet sighs, almost non-sensical. It was only just loud enough for him to hear her voice, startling the Archangel. It was louder than the memory flash before. 

And it was strikingly familiar… 

The memory did a weird little jostle, as though he had pressed too hard on his eyes when closed. Then refocused as her free hand went from his cheek to his shoulder. Palming. Gripping. Tensing. 

She was still jerking him off and he kept pushing and moaning against her, dragging his teeth, tongue, and lips over her neck and down to her bust and back, kneading her flesh then touching her gently where she needed him to. He could feel it in her slick, if not in how often she kept swallowing back her moans. 

Gabriel felt as his hips pumped forward and a name that felt too far away to remember fell from his lips. He started running his fingers over her, back over the thatch of hair between her legs, switching to her sharp little hip and squeezed too hard, making her purr strangely, right in his ear. It was a sound he couldn’t pinpoint that he hadn’t picked up the first time he remembered it. 

But it made his face burn. Traveling all the way down into his belly again. 

Finally, he dragged his fingers back over to graze over her mons Venus and found her clit, rubbing her in little circles, kissing the pulse point of her neck and feeling it speed up under his sensitive lips, hearing her breath become staggered. 

When he slid one of his fingers over her slick folds, he felt her shudder and a trapped moan rattled in the back of her throat. Deep. Needy. He could feel her vocal chords vibrate as it became a whimper. And then forcing its way out of her as he used her own slick on his Lover’s sensitive bud. 

Still frustratingly captive within. 

Followed by an open moan of his. 

Finally, he pushed two of his large fingers into her tiny cunt, feeling her stretch at his Merciless intrusion and feeling her arch against him, her soft smooth belly meet his trained form. Her breasts, small but pert, heaved against him. He felt her hand on his cock falter and spasm, sliding up to the head of it. Rubbing his own slick down his length. 

It was then that, just as he suspected the dream would end – where the memory had – he nipped at her collarbone then at her arching breast, her hand at his shoulder trailing down and over. Over his chest and tracing down his ribs, dainty fingers feeling each defined ripple, keeping him anchored in the dream…And the urge to kiss her became overwhelming as he surpassed what he had been shown the first time. Hearing her sweet little sighs and gasps and cut off moans was too much now because it hadn’t ended. He was still seeing and feeling and HEARING her. 

And Gabriel ached, both physically and emotionally, because he missed her without knowing her anymore… 

He moved to kiss the sweet being that had haunted him, and Gabriel felt relief on so many levels. Between what they were doing, how he felt deep within him even after all this time, and the guilt over relearning these actions – relearning her body so tactilely – even after he had let her slip away into a darkness and corruption he could not understand. He felt Hope that finally he’d get a glimpse of the woman he Loved once. The woman he’d lost. The one he knew he could never hold again unless it was as she Died in his arms when granting her that planned final reprieve. 

There was no other option. He couldn’t keep her. Not when they were destined to destroy each other at The End of the World. He knew his job and obligations to Heaven and to his nameless wandering Love. And he knew she must hate him. But at least, now, after all these years, he’d have finally found a little shred of her in his memory to keep. Of her face and not just her body and distant voice... 

But when he moved to kiss her, saw her head thrown back in her first open shuddery cry of ecstasy, revealed to him was… 

-Beelzebub?! 

Flushed rosy cheeks and panting open small mouth, wavy hair flared around zir on the ground like a halo, made him feel both hot and freezing. The image began to shutter in and out of focus again, losing sight of the image of the being below him. But zoomed back in too sharp, fuzzy around the edges. Seeing Lust and Love filled eyes pin him made his length react despite how he felt in his awareness. It did not help how the image kept flitting in and out of focus as they continued to touch each other. How he hadn’t stopped moving his fingers within her. 

“Love, pleazze.” Was uttered in a hushed voice and ze shifted beneath him and gasped, begging, feeling zir cunt tighten around his fingers. He felt a startling buzz around him. “Pleazze, Gabriel, I need you…” 

Zir Heavenly blue eyes bore into him and were begging him. So open and free of any fear and so soft that it reminded him of how ze looked on him in those half-awake states; so sleepy and somehow sweet looking before ze would kiss him. This was that look that, though riddled with Lust, innocent and pure, and so much more… 

But it was all too shocking, and it was like he was kicked awake, shaken. Gabriel stared at the ceiling, unable to grapple with what he had just seen. 

-No...NOPE. 

For a dark and disturbing moment, he believed ze had tried to bring him emotional harm by invading his dreams, but that didn’t feel right. For another, he nearly accused zir of trying to tempt him. But he easily disproved that too. The Prince didn’t operate like that, especially as ze were so focused on their current predicament. Ze didn’t seem the type to try something foolish like alienate zir only ally. He knew ze usually found touch abhorrent, tolerating his, and he was the one constantly seeking it. And anything sexual...he knew ze wouldn’t dare. Even a touch from zir King had left zir nearly incapacitated, a distraught mess. 

He couldn’t dwell on that memory. It made him furious that his brother would dare touch zir that way and he only had more questions... 

After dismissing a lot of thoughts kicking about in his head, as he was certain he’d go crazy, he turned it on himself as though he were the culprit. It was easier than remembering what he saw just before Beelzebub had run away on him. It was easier than to believe what he had just dreamt held any weight. It was only a dream. Not what he had remembered. Just mixed up. It would be absolutely impossible and ridiculous otherwise! And he knew...he knew he had had these issues of desire for his tiny infernal wife for some time. Wants he wasn’t supposed to have for a demon. That he kept pushing away and dismissing, even though it was harder when they had to remain close. When ze would...kiss him so gently at the darkest time of night. 

Like a secret. 

So he believed it was his own error, from missing one and wanting another. His mind conjured his own bewitchment. And he just couldn’t BELIEVE he would do such a thing and pervert his own memories. Beelzebub twitched in his arms and buried zir face against him and he froze. 

Gabriel was certain he had become too close and had fucked things up. Royally. 

He somehow remained stationary and looked over to see his wife in his arms, asleep. Zir legs had wrapped around his in sleep and zir arm was draped over his chest, with zir hand on the baby’s back. He had discovered Beelzebub had been more of a cuddler and would wind zir legs around his, or his hips, like an animal that he couldn’t name at the moment which clung to trees. 

If he wasn’t panicking about his memory morphing from fucking his angelic Lover to fucking his very much NOT fuckable demonic wife, he’d have been fine. It would have felt like any other night the two lay in his arms. He’d have ruffled zir hair and brushed his lips over zir forehead again with his veiled movement, kiss the baby’s without pretense. And just be done with it. 

But no. He couldn’t do that now. 

Not when thinking about how he had imprinted Beelzebub’s wanting face over his little lost Love’s. How zir buzzing invaded his dream. How ze...But a thought struck him; he had never witnessed Beelzebub’s face so open and Lustful… 

Not once. Not once in all his years of knowing zir. Smiles he could barely get a chance to see, and frowns, snarls, and glares in abundance. Guarded looks, vicious and murderous sneers, scowls, and confused looks. HURT. PAIN. FEAR. All that. But never desperate wanting such as what he saw in his morphed memory. 

-Damnit. Not what I need in my head right now. 

Gabriel was struggling and didn’t know what to do; whether to run away, get up and pace the room, or to leave to return to Heaven. He was tempted to... 

But he couldn’t just LEAVE them...He was stuck. Thinking things, like how zir... 

-Nope. Nope! No! Not…just no! 

He stared blankly, his cheeks puffing out as he tried to not think. Didn’t help that the little Love was still crying. She hadn’t stopped since they had found the baby. She sounded worse that night. Nor did it help that his wife shifted in zir sleep and twitched again. Or maybe it did. He changed his focus as ze twitched a third time and zir breathing changed and zir hands tensed and shook. Zir arm reached out and zir fingers curled. Contorted. Ze whimpered and practically growled out a huff. And instead of pushing zir away, as he knew he should, Gabriel drew zir closer and slipped his hand in zir outreached one. 

He was determined to always take zir hand. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d witness these behaviors in zir sleep. They weren’t as bad as in Italy, after ze were drugged by that mysterious concoction, but usually when ze woke up ze’d just eye the room, eye him and the baby, and go back to sleep without a word. It was unlike zir other…patterns. 

-She always twitches so much. I wonder what a demon dreams about to do that. 

But he couldn’t think any further on it as zir face contorted and zir hand pulled back and ze shot up. A breath and ze were frantically taking in the room. 

“We have to go!” 

“What?!” 

“We’re going. Now!” After running zir hands over the baby and feeling their stomach and earning a sleepy squawk and leaning over zir husband to hear and feel the baby’s breath upon zir face, ze were off like a flash. Ze grabbed zir bag and his. Everything had stayed packed away for immediate action. Ze took out a black blouse and threw it over zir head and went for pants, but he got up and stayed zir hand, waking tiny baby in his arms. 

“Bee, talk to me. What happened?” 

“We’ve been here too long. Zhould have gone zooner.” 

“Hold up, that’s not an answer. Tell me what just happened?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Can’t have been if you’re rushing us out.” The baby had started to cry and sleepy hands were reaching for zir. Ze grunted and stopped but took the child, trying to console them, and handed the angel his bag and ordered him to “hurry.” Gabriel, having once been instructed to bring his own change of clothing and learning things about the ways humans did laundry and what not, had also taken to wearing sleepwear and had to change. He threw off what he had on, without thought and the Prince threw up a little prayer of thanks to no one that at least the angel had worn drawers to bed. Beelzebub didn’t think ze would be able to handle anatomy issues with the way Gabriel’s corporation seemed to be...very specific in his set specifications. Which seemed to be functioning well within parameters of a healthy being with said settings in the morning, unaware of his...dreams. 

Zir eyes flew to the ceiling. 

“It’s NOTHING, angel. Drop it and get drezzzzed.” Ze said as ze avoided looking at him. The Archangel certainly lacked modesty and Beelzebub tried not to remember the fact that ze had been sleeping with...all of that... 

-Fucking nutter! I really have gone fucking MAD! What is wrong with me?! 

“Bee. We can’t just run off over ‘nothing.’ It’s dangerous to run unprepared.” And he was throwing a pale blue, almost grey, blouse over his head and slipping into slate grey breeches. 

“Bad feeling. And we’ve ztayed in place for far too long.” Ze went about to change and clean the little one, accepting the gown Beelzebub had stitched flower thread and pollen – delivered to zir by fliers ze commanded to weave – into it to help mask the scent of Death, for the baby the angel handed zir. 

“What about Liatris? They need to be fed.” 

“We’ll do that out there, no one will notice if we stay away from people. Z’not like it looks that different from the way humans do it.” Ze called back as they wiped up the little one, “Juzt keep that weird face you get, if you muzt keep looking at me. You know, angelic whatever. And don’t make any weird comments...Act like a doting...zomething.” 

Beelzebub’s stress levels were really starting to skyrocket into the stratosphere; and trying to articulate to him how they should present themselves was not something ze wanted to do. Ever. They required focus and zir dream had really unnerved zir, undoing said focus. 

Ze had never dreamt of babies before and this one had been twisted, even by demonic standards. It was too close to the ultra-surreal nightmares that ze would dream before something bad would happen to ignore it. In this dream ze were alone in a house, but it was too dark for the light of the fireplace to catch much. Shadowy forms, both big and too small, littered the floor and spread amongst them were transvaal daisies and brilliant blue and purple larkspur flowers. The flowers and colors ze could see, caught in the flames. Only set on the smaller bodies. They were too small. Too small. The Prince found that ze held a wiggling bundle in zir arms, but they were covered in a wrap and ze couldn’t see their face. Ze could only hear their familiar soft gurgles. Their shroud was covered in the same flowers... 

Ze felt the overwhelming urge to run and never return, take the small form away from danger. 

But ze soon realized ze had travelled to the center of the room and not away. Not escaping. 

Ze stumbled backwards onto a raised dais and looked about, afraid to walk through the field of the Dead that lay on the floor. Ze knew that it would be bad to touch them. 

Hands suddenly grabbed Beelzebub and forced zir back onto a table and burned zir. The baby wailed but no longer in zir grasp and ze shrieked out, calling out for the now named child. 

A blade ripped into zir abdomen but ze grit zir teeth, calling for the baby again and again and again even as the blade penetrated zir. Fighting. Desperate. Begging. Zir care carving zir out better than the blade that kept digging into zir. 

Ze said ze would do anything. 

Weak. 

Begging for them to let zir keep them. 

A weakness ze were never meant to have. 

And then ze smelled the rosemary... 

The baby began to shriek and sputter in what Beelzebub knew was pain. Ze were too familiar with that dreadful wrenching sound. Ze cried out in desperation. Terror. 

And that was it. It was so powerful and realistic it startled zir awake and so ze had set them to leave. They needed to leave! 

Ze needed to finally go out that door with baby and strange angel in toe. As they had discussed and argued, ad nauseam, they had a plan and would follow it. Ze hadn’t realized ze were shaking. 

“Bee.” He held up stays and gown as ze finished up with Liatris’s bonnet, moving into their space. “You’ve put on the wrong thing.” And ze huffed as ze threw it off at him, him folding it and putting it into his own bag. Nothing would be left. They had an unspoken plan on how they would present themselves to the outside world. It was all for effect and easier to explain than if Beelzebub looked like a bloke pulling out zir tit for a baby. It frustrated zir but less eyes were more important than zir comfort. 

Even Gabriel had grown facial hair to look a little different, not that that was a huge difference. 

Ze snatched a different chemise out to change into behind the curtain. Ze’d let him help zir into everything else but certainly not this. Like anytime ze had a dream like these, ze had to check zirself just to be sure it was only a dream. Ze had already checked the baby on waking for those reasons, and Beelzebub watched the other two over the curtain, watched how Gabriel carefully rubbed their little tummy and let them nibble on his fingers as they took hold. 

Beelzebub stepped out quickly and the Archangel was already sliding the black stays over zir head. He looked more than a little nervous. “I think it best if we feed the baby here. I’ll hurry back with something for you, I don’t-” 

“No. Don’t leave.” Ze said too quickly, eyes wide. “I...we just need you with us. Too much could happen.” Zir eyes fluttered shut and ze turned from him to mask zir nerves and let him lace zir up. 

“Should we really deviate like this from the plan though? We’ll be making ourselves vulnerable out there like that.” Feeding the baby took a lot of energy and focus, Gabriel was not a fan of creating their own blindside out there. Not only that but if anyone were to potentially see them in the observation decks it’d spell trouble. Especially when Liatris could potentially be mistaken for a nephilim, with their mixed essence within the infant. He still hadn’t asked zir about it and was uncertain how to ask. However, from other angels’ perspective, there’d be no questions, Liatris would be killed, as well as his wife, on sight. The angel didn’t know how the smell of rosemary had seemed so real it felt as though it still lingered in zir nose, even while awake. 

“We’ve already talked about this, Liatris will need to be fed at least twice on the road. And will need to be changed.” 

“We should really minimize our exposure.” 

“Gabriel, pleaze. Juzt do az I zay. Do not leave uzz.” And a thought occurred mid-growl and ze calculated out a dreaded possibility. 

He’d seen zir rattled and knew when ze were trying to hide it, this was too obvious. Ze were visibly upset and unnerved. Even his touch seemed to make zir twitch more than usual. Ze fidgeted with the front of zir lacing and turned round and zir eyes seemed glued to the baby. Ze were absolutely restless, even if ze hid it all behind a blank face, zir unsettling eyes of Heavenly blues betrayed zir. 

And the angel was equally frustrated. After Gabriel’s little...dream, he kept clearing his throat and his cheeks were practically a newly invented shade of blush as he touched zir. It did not help Beelzebub’s demeanor, especially when his fingers would brush a particular part of zir and, though ze’d twitch, ze’d feel his fingers and hands shake before planting firmly against zir, as though that could stop his tremors.

It was a long morning for both of them. 

**************** 

Thankfully, feeding Liatris had been much easier than either had thought. 

They got something just at the center of the busy town and sat at communal benches in the shade of a crab apple tree. The flowers had bloomed and the air smelled sweet and Beelzebub found the scent eased zir a bit. The two ethereals were able to watch people and keep alert, with their backs relatively covered, and the food that was brought out was quick and hot. If the demon wasn’t so strung out ze would have enjoyed it all. But nothing would ever really be for zir enjoyment, that much ze believed. 

Gabriel had passed zir the baby and they got to task, practiced and pretending to be unbothered and Beelzebub leaned against the angel, tucking zir head under his chin as though they were..a family, with a husband holding his wife close as ze tended to their baby. Ze curled a hand around the edge of his powdery blue coat that had gold and grey flowers sewn in, running zir thumb against the texture of the needlework, bringing it and him closer to shield zir face to watch those passing. He had startled a little, still uncomfortable by what his mind had conjured that night, but he repressed it and let zir be. He couldn’t let his errant mind cause him distress now with so much at stake. 

Ze weren’t fully aware of how Gabriel removed zir hat and rested his face in zir hair, only that he was whispering to zir. 

“You should tell me if you think something bad is going to happen, Bella. I’m here and I promised I would keep you both safe.” 

It was then that Beelzebub gave voice to an idea ze really didn’t want to enact, but would if required and things turned against them. Ready for it in a heartbeat. “If we’re found out again, you’ll take the baby and go.” 

“Bee?” 

“Don’t try to come back. Just take Liatris and follow the plan. The baby is our priority…I’ll find you. We always manage, Love.” 

“I don’t like this. Why won’t you tell me anything?” 

“You and I both know the route. You plotted it and I agreed it was the best plan. We can’t go back now.” 

Ze could feel him frowning into zir hair and felt as his lips did something weird. Quirk? Ze weren’t sure. He had been doing weird things like that for a while now. Ze were too focused on the woman coming up to them, smiling too wide for Beelzebub’s taste. She was dressed in a simple affair with a linen wrap around her shoulders. A working woman. And if what the demon’s eyes and nose gleaned and quickly catalogued of this being was correct, a tavern woman. 

“Keep alert. Potential threat coming straight for us.” He felt as the Prince slipped a small pouch of something into his hand at zir back. It was a banishing potion ze had put together for their journey, in case of being confronted in front of normal humans. His fingers quickly traced zir poesey ring before taking it, his other hand could feel the timbre of zir heart as he continued to heal zir. 

“I told you-” 

“Zhut it, Mezzenger. Focus.” Ze pinched him and he jumped a little. 

“That’s the lady who’s been cooking for you. Hello again!” 

“Well, hello to you! I finally get to see the mistress and wee one I’ve heard so much about. Your family is quite beautiful! Just look at your lovely lady-wife.” 

Beelzebub stiffened, bristling, even though they had wordlessly planned to emulate exactly what the woman had called them, but this woman seemed to have been GIVEN this information. A dangerous glare locked onto the Messenger who apparently couldn’t shut his mouth prior. He did now. 

“Lord Messenger, here, has been telling me all about you. Heard the baby was ill and was a bit worried.” She imparted relaxed, picking up how the “mistress” was a bit touchy. “I don’t mean to disturb mama and child, but I wished to give my greetings and...” She pulled out a small black bundle that looked at first like a human doll, until she held it closer to the demon who glared and drew the baby back. “A gift for your baby.” 

A cloth fly with a fat body and white puffy quilted wings. The Prince frantically roved zir eyes over the woman again, then the fly doll, but on the ethereal plain as well as the human one. There was a faint touch of something on her and the demon was surprised to discover it was zir own marking. Just Beelzebub’s. Faint. Ze knew this human’s bloodline. 

-Small world… 

The Archangel looked at the toy offered and a doopish grin grew as soon as he could see that Beelzebub’s eyes changed to something not as hard, though zir mouth still set in a frown. “Oh, look dearest, a little fly! Liatris is really going to Love this.” 

“Yes.” The Prince was busy mulling things over as ze watched the human carefully. Ze hadn’t meant to make more than a few lasting blessings on those bordello workers in Italy but apparently it transferred a few generations. Now that ze were really looking over the woman ze could see the resemblance to a Signora Bianca, with the same wild curly hair and kind eyes. Ze gave the toy one more excessively thorough look, finding nothing. Smelling only cloth and wool stuffing from it. Normal. “You have my thanks for taking such good care of us.” 

The fly demon reached out a controlled hand and took the toy. Ze didn’t take zir eyes off the woman as ze squished the doll’s body, ensuring it was soft enough. Ensuring there was nothing sharp within. It passed inspection and the infant in zir arms immediately swatted at it to take hold once within reach, still not finished with feeding. 

-And a few more demonic blessings when things have cleared...If I survive baby, angel, and King... 

“Ah, ‘twas nothing. Just doing as taught by my own mama and her mama before her. Look out for the special ones. Especially one so special as this little angel. She’s destined to be as pretty as her mama.” 

The Prince was now between cursing and blessing this human. Ze were on the fence. Too much. 

“It’s what the good Lord would want, you’re doing the Almighty’s work.” Gabriel smiled, completely unaware. 

“And then some.” She smiled before making her goodbyes. Gabriel had been on guard just as much as Beelzebub but visibly startled when the woman told the demon, eyeing Gabriel, “Possa l’Archangelo Gabriele proteggerti te e la tua bella famillia,” making zir eyes and lips twitch. The tavern woman made zir curious as to how much she did know about who she had been serving food to for all those weeks. 

It didn’t make zir any less cautious but secretly pleased, resettling in Gabriel’s arms as ze split zir focus on the departing woman, the people around them, and the baby in zir arms. 

They left soon after for the first half of their trek. Liatris secured in Gabriel’s sling as soon as they made it to the town’s edge, Beelzebub ensuring the knots tied properly and the new fly toy was ensconced away with them. Ze hadn’t realized ze smiled a small smile at the sight of little fingers wrapped around a wing, but Gabriel had. And forced himself to look elsewhere, though couldn’t stop from laying hands on his small wife. He massaged zir shoulder and arms and pretended to keep all his attention on their surroundings. He couldn’t help but feel nervous over their dubious morning or his lurid dream, even still. 

With a second to spare, he remembered something he had picked up on the way back from one of his last meetings in Heaven. 

The Archangel pulled from his bag a swath of white lace fabric, simple and big enough to drape over zir bergere ze had chosen for their travels. He carefully draped it over the top and then lowered it over zir face, fashioning it around zir neck into a loose bow at zir throat. Ze would only need to pull it from the crown of the hat should ze need to remove it quick, but no one would be able to see zir face easily. He was still nervous of zir being spied on...by either side. 

It didn’t take long for them to make it to their first mark unhindered, an old outpost that was slowly developing into a town, to feed the child and take care of every need, all in the mailroom’s spare they sometimes rented out. No one batted an eye. And it didn’t take long to hit their second, out in the middle of the woods and finding refuge in a grassy knoll, away from the road and hidden from the skies beneath a canopy of tress. They didn’t intend to stay but tended, once again, to little Liatris, who had started wailing like a banshee but settled far quicker than usual. 

They had feared the fits would spike again, feeling that ethereal pull and their essence war but it subsided quickly, and Beelzebub jumped when Gabriel placed the child, devoid of every fiber of clothing in zir arms. He said they were too hot and that he had changed them but that ze should try to balance their temperature for a bit before they were fed. 

So, for a bit, they switched roles. Gabriel kept lookout and Beelzebub sat with the baby and felt more than saw as they enjoyed gnawing on the new toy. Ze ran zir hands over their back and lay little kisses to their cheeks and forehead, to their little squishy shoulder and hands, as Gabriel’s back was turned. Ze still couldn’t handle him witnessing such things, frustratingly aware of how close he always was. 

Eventually, ze dressed the little one in a new swaddle and back into the gown so that they could get to feeding Liatris and called the angel over. Gabriel took a bit of time to fluff out zir skirts, this time made of a near wine red with columns of flowers down the fabric, spaced by white lily bouquets. The stomacher of the bodice was simple buttons that were easier to handle but didn’t lose the artistic flare of the cut, he waited for zir to undo it before touching zir as they needed. 

The Archangel had never seemed able to stop fidgeting with the rest of zir clothes or his, though. For an angel, ze had come to realize it was more than just fastidiousness and simple Vanity. It was a nervous tick. A tell of his own. Covering up and ensuring everyone’s parts were in their proper place – in zir case, to ensure ze were still intact and not riddled with holes – from what ze could recall of how he’d adjust things, touch parts of zir, shift fabric. 

If they weren’t in the open and trying to not draw attention to them ze would have snarked something about him, as ze had when he came back to them with clothing he’d owned, as ze told him to. Snarked about him having more laundry than the baby and zir put together. But not out there, so exposed with child. 

But ze finally recognized it as the nervous tell it was, just as much as when he’d rub his face or card his hand through his hair. Just as it was disturbing and distracting when he did it to zir. Invasive. Confusing when it did what ze knew it shouldn’t. 

He was doing so now, fluffing zir hair that was not covered by the veil and then running a hand over the child’s fuzzy head. And then adjusting his powdery blue coat. A fidget of a button and then his arms were around zir waist and pulling zir closer, one tracing up zir spindly back, avoiding where zir burn scar was, and the other waiting, fingering the edge of the stomacher. It made zir shiver but not pull away. He was nervous and he was watching the woods. 

So. Beelzebub let him, as always. And for once, didn’t feel the need to run. Not after the nightmare of the past night. It felt better to have his hands on zir than those of the nightmare tearing into zir, taking away Liatris. The Demon Prince leaned against him but did not miss this time how he startled...making zir draw away; feeling suddenly out of sorts. 

-He's never done that before… 

But they did what was needed and took care of the child, feeling their head still cooling down and wiping away a little milk excess and mess that the child made after a rather loud sneeze, before helping them latch on again. 

Ze felt the need to collapse. Or go barreling into battle, angry at everything and nothing. Both sounded good at that moment, fighting sounded best, because the other thing that zir body wanted to do was not permissible. The only thing that felt like it kept zir tethered was warm hands over zir beating heart and a child named for flowers that wrapped their little hand around zir fingers, no longer interested in their new doll. Because him pulling away from zir…it felt…ze couldn’t dare think on it. 

Despite being too out in the open and in danger, it felt like it was over too soon and ze had burped, cleaned, and rewrapped the baby and put them back into Gabriel’s sling. 

They made it to a room that allowed women-folk and children and Gabriel relinquished the child to zir, each fortifying the space with wards of their own kind, before settling to take care of their little charge again. It had been a long journey and both felt tenuous relief at making it. The Prince couldn’t help smelling the milk and angel on them and the natural smell of newborn and feeling it ground zir, knowing it was too deeply woven in zir now. Ze felt sick but held Liatris tight, giving their fly toy a once over before letting a long breath go that they hadn’t realized they had held for too long. 

Ze didn’t realize until the acrid scent of rotting rosemary hit zir nose, on using it again…but ze knew it was just left over from zir nightmare. Ze knew that was the Truth. It had to be. 

The first segment had gone nearly unhindered and they were safe. Unfortunately, Gabriel had stilled and was telling zir he had to leave them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID NOT MEAN TO LEAVE EVERYONE HANGING LIKE THIS, I’M SO SORRY!!! 
> 
> Also I WARNED YOU!!! That was the second to last memory I had hold of for the Archangel. The one from BEFORE the house that held Liatris and the Prince. Gabriel was apparently a naughty angel in his past ::wiggles eyebrows::. Makes you wonder about all those jokes and things he’s said. Because he CLEARLY knows what he was doing, if you notice he’s not asking questions about what’s going on............ 
> 
> And then poor Gabriel with what he saw next...He didn’t seem to handle it well... 
> 
> Bee is bristly and has a difficult time saying things ze don’t wan’t to acknowledge. Because of course ze would be. 
> 
> Now you know that Liatris is seen as a girl but that’s really not important to the angel and demon. Gabriel still doesn’t know how Beelzebub identifies and Bee hasn’t picked up yet that Gabriel clearly understands gender identity. 
> 
> I dredged up another Italy character storyline!!! Small but I enjoyed the bordello mistress and her little group. 
> 
> I LOVED making up the fly. It has a name too. I will reveal when I get the chance hopefully in the next chapter (I may even take a break and sew one, I really liked it). This one kind of flowed and I kind of worried that I haven’t articulated how they plan on helping the child and have gotten rather...domestic with each other without realizing it, instead. And then I sprung smut on all you unsuspecting people. I’m not TOO sorry because it’s another consensual moment but I’ve been awkwardly shuffling my feet about it because its smut. (I hope I wrote it well?) 
> 
> And there was a LOT going on in that smut. Not just physical things but a lot of emotional things too (at least I hope it read that way), and then there was that little thing at the end of that segment... 
> 
> Odd fact about hotels, it was very difficult for people who wore gowns (I’m not going to assume everyone presenting a certain way was a woman because that’s just really inaccurate, if you understand sexuality and gender and history at all. It didn’t just become a thing.) to find lodging while traveling. So that’s why that bit was in there. 
> 
> Another fact: breastfeeding happened wherever there was a hungry baby. It was considered natural. The only thing not was that a family would be traveling with someone as young as Liatris.
> 
> Please let me know what you think about everything. Con-crit is very welcomed and I try to better what I’ve written, even fixing past mistakes to clarify, comments on anything are always great and enjoyed. Kudos are loved though I know my story is rather...dark and really sad, I know it’s not for everyone. 
> 
> But, as always, THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS AND COMMENTS!!! You are appreciated! <3 
> 
> Please stay safe! <3


	22. Worries & Woes Of Misunderstandings & Abandonment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is not only having difficulties wrapping his head around his memory that was perverted by want, in his dreams, but is being bombarded with very alarming messages from Head Office that he can’t ignore. Unfortunately, that puts Beelzebub and baby in a bind and his choice of words lead to a bad bout of misunderstanding and unintended hurt. 
> 
> And that leaves Beelzebub alone with their charge and terrified....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: accidental self-harm, panic attack. Blood, but not copious amounts of it. Let me know if I’ve missed anything. 
> 
> This is an emotional rollercoaster with lots going on in this chapter, I hope it reads well to you, but let me know. As well as working through this chapter, trying to plot it out and see what felt right, I had a few things going on and hadn’t meant to leave you with a cliffhanger for so long. Please forgive me!

“Leave?! What do you mean?” 

“I mean I can’t stay here anymore. I have to go, now.” 

“You can’t juzzzt leave uzzz!” Panic felt like it would consume zir, over anger, but ze swallowed it down. Ze had to try to focus, ze couldn’t fucking break down because the angel was leaving. Ze were a God Damned Prince of Hell! But the child was what caused zir alarm and zir dream...The dream ze could handle, ze were used to handling nightmares that ended up fucking zir over, the baby ze couldn’t handle on zir own. Not paired with the ominous dream... 

“Don’t go.” 

But words were being forced by the Archangel Michael into Gabriel’s ears, into his mind, about an emergency meeting. About one of Hell’s Princes disappearing and another been suspected of a nefarious plot. Michael even mentioned something about Prince Beelzebub, but the words were getting garbled between his lost Lover’s crying and one Prince trying to get his attention. 

“I can’t ignore a call from my Head Office just because of a mortal charge, Beelzebub. Maybe you can, but I can’t.” 

The Prince was affronted by his words. Livid...Ze felt sick again. 

“Are you bloody zzeriouzzz?! I-” 

“Very. And I have to go.” He paused to look over the child but avoided looking at the Prince. He wouldn‘t admit it but Gabriel was relieved to go back to Heaven. He was still appalled by his dream, even after hours on the road and this felt like a remedy. If he wasn’t on Earth, he wasn’t with Beelzebub. If he was in Heaven, he wouldn’t be imagining the way ze sounded pleading for him, messing with his head. And he wouldn’t be sleeping. It was sound. 

Unfortunately, in his rush with the press of Heaven in his skull, Gabriel was forgetting that Liatris had very specific needs, that Beelzebub didn’t think ze could attend to them on zir own, missed zir fear in zir eyes because he wouldn’t look at zir; still not knowing what had prompted his wife to force them on their way. And it didn’t help when Heaven was calling and the words were ominous. He feared them getting caught. 

He was moving zir back, ze slapped his hands away in anger but he tried again, getting zir away from the door. He needed to keep them hidden from sight as best as he could, just like they had done since they started their joint project. Liatris and their wobbly little body tried to straighten and reach for the Messenger, little fists reaching for him, pale eyes becoming watery. 

“I can’t just shirk my responsibilities like a demon would. I’m not like you.” 

“Archangel, you zhould be weary of the wordz, I don’t take kindly to them. I demand rezpect for my pozizzion. You have no idea of what I do, what I have had to do to keep thiz child zafe.” 

“Hell, Bee, you’re taking care of a baby. That’s very-” 

“Fuck you.” Ze stood taller, hurt despite knowing that Gabriel had always been an arse just like everyone else. 

“Bee.” Zir words earned stern warning through the hazy pandemonium he was experiencing. “I don’t have time for these things.” 

“Theze thingzz?” Ze scoffed, muttering the same phrase, over and over again until ze could collect zir thoughts. “And you think I have, Mezzenger?” Ze sneered in anger, “think I have time, with HELL always plotting against me? My own work? My dealingz? Liatris izz a TARGET. One that Heaven or Hell will benefit from, which their fate haz yet to be secured, and won’t be if we don’t stay vigilant. That meanzz we don’t just go back to our Head Officez at every beck and call. I can’t. We’d be found out if I went back.” 

He was already frustrated both at zir and the onslaught incoming info. Ze weren’t listening, not that he was, and he didn’t know how to articulate, either. 

“Bee, really, you can stay, but I can’t.” 

“’Stay?’ Z’not like I juzt can just ‘stay,’ Archangel. I’m stuck here! YOU were the one who insisted I had to do thiz. Feed this child and uzze my body. And now I am zzztuck. Zmelling like baby, angel, and milk.” 

“That’s not the worst thing you’ve smelled like.” 

Wrong thing to say. 

He hadn’t realized how hurtful those words could actually be to a demon. Especially after being told ze were usually filthy. Especially after they had both had their fair share of wearing the baby’s spitup and dealing with diaper changes. But one look at Beelzebub and Gabriel realized he made a mistake. 

“Go! Go to your bloody Blezzzzed Heaven, you fool. Arze.” Zir eyes spoke of fire but the angel was already retreating, carding his hand over his mouth in disbelief. The baby was starting to heat up again in the Prince’s arms and ze started to feel even worse, but ze ignored zir own pain. That was something ze didn’t have time for. 

The Messenger’s brain was becoming further jumbled by the persistent call, not helping his anxieties. 

Too much information was pouring into his skull all at once and he picked up ‘sacrifices,’ ‘missing baby,’ and ‘Metatron wanted to do a sweep of Earth,’ and then there was the further alarming ‘A Prince of Hell has gone missing Earthside and may be suspect.’ It was all so much quicker than usual, being muddled with the sobs – which had become stronger, too. But he didn’t have time for crying Fallen. Not when everything was becoming messy surrounding that voice and he had to ensure Beelzebub and Liatris’s safety. Too much stimulation that he wouldn’t admit to being overwhelmed by. Just dismissed it. 

Gabriel was going over how he had to be careful of how he managed his miracles to cleanse himself of the scent of demon and child on the way back. Even his facial hair had to go, thinking his ‘disguise’ had helped him any. Then he worried how to abscond with the paperwork before it passed Michael or Sandalphon. 

He needed to handle one mess and then could mentally decontaminate himself in Heaven’s sterile sanctuary for a bit. 

“Take care of Liatris.” 

If he wasn’t so focused on Heaven, he’d have seen the look of hurt in zir eyes was beginning to mix with poisonous panic, how anger bled out of zir, replaced with fear. Ze thought ze were alone. 

-He left us... 

Beelzebub would have physically lashed out at Gabriel in frustrated anger had ze not NEEDED him for the baby, but instead ze drew away from the closing door as reality sunk in. Ze eyed every part of the room. Every shadow and corner becoming a threat and ze were uncertain of what to do. The demon steeled zirself, cursing that ze hadn’t begged Gabriel to stay. Cursing zirself for letting zir emotions get out of control. The demon wasn’t supposed to feel any which way about his words, not care, and yet...

Ze couldn’t help but think the worst was going to come to pass and ze drew zir blade from zir skirts and rushed to make a new sling. Ze couldn’t have zir arms full if ze were potentially going to be attacked, nor let Liatris go. The dream came to the forefront and ze gingerly put the now crying baby out on the bed, tried to soothe them with cool hands but missed how their temperature was rising still. And the pain... 

Ze fitted zirself and slipped the little one in, unable to get them to calm, wanting to do nothing more than sit and kiss their little tears away – hating that ze wanted to, as a demon shouldn’t - not realizing it was something more yet. Beelzebub took the new toy and tried to alleviate the child’s distress with it, waving it in their space. Liatris only swatted at it and whimpered before crying out again. 

The demon was nervous and tried to quell it, collect zirself. Ze knew that babies and children absorbed and reacted to that sort of information they received from their...those around them. 

The angel had left them. He had seemed so strange on their way there. 

-Fuck...fuck! He really left us!...What have I done?! Oh no! Please no! 

Ze couldn’t stop the thoughts and remembered how Gabriel had pulled away from zir on the road, analyzing how he seemed incapable of touching zir while he helped zir dress for the trek. Ze suddenly realized that he had also startled while sitting with zir under the apple tree. It made zir unnecessary heart feel strange and it angered zir, but ze dismissed it. Ze had no choice. The baby needed to be zir top priority and couldn’t let zirself be distracted. If they were taken or killed, all was lost and ze would have failed in keeping any Life. 

Ze wouldn’t be able to bear it... 

And feeling little wobbly hands that ze had hold of too often, cling to zir, feel their cries resonate against and in zir chest...realizing just how much of zirself the fly demon had let get attached to the tiny mortal soul...secretly knew that ze had fucked zirself over, ze became desperate. Because ze had only one objective and it was to not fucking fail at least Liatris, even if ze had to gut zirself out to do it. Because ze knew in the grand scheme of things ze were fucked anyway. 

So ze waited like that with a dangling Hope that Gabriel hadn’t abandoned them. With zir weapon drawn – having not realized a hand had transformed into a claw in zir distress – and baby becoming more and more feverish in zir arms to the point that ze finally noticed. Ze quickly took them from zir sling and tried to soothe them as ze inspected the small one. 

The Prince gingerly took off gown, bonnet, and swaddle, removing them carefully and tried to ensure they were dry. Ze felt how hot the little soul had become and went over the last few hours again, frustrated the angel had been the one to hold them during their travels. They had decided Beelzebub would take up the offensive, Gabriel would defend the child and carry them so ze hadn’t been aware. But ze were able to take notice how over the last few days they had seemed only a little off, just enough to miss. How they hadn’t eaten as much, just less and less at each feeding. Ze had figured it was stress. Babies could get STRESSED and lose appetite. 

Ze didn’t know what to do about the fever without Gabriel, ze didn’t know the area healers nor herbal gardens ze could steal from. Ze couldn’t SEND for anyone. Gabriel could have healed Liatris. But the Archangel was gone now and returned to his place in Heaven... 

And then there was also the problem of needing to feed them... 

Ze waited, holding Liatris close, mind blank and counting down the minutes before ze would need to feed them, Hoping Gabriel would be back if ze just stayed still. It was very unlike Beelzebub. But ze had been forced to trust the Archangel of the Dawn and learned it was a mistake. If they had stayed together, they would have already fed the baby and have been tucked away, asleep. Just as they had been that morning before their Peace was disturbed by a nightmare. But they hadn’t fed Liatris before Gabriel had left. He just left! 

The first signs of hunger were paired with the pain Beelzebub had been feeling on and off. Ze had felt strange. It had been so for a while and it wasn’t like that was noteworthy. Ze just coped, as always. But paired with the hunger stemming from the child it made zir nervous. 

After a half hour more, thinking over where ze could take the child for help so late, no angel to be seen, still on guard but rocking the inconsolable soul in zir arms, ze did what ze dreaded. 

Beelzebub sat on the bed and undid zir bodice’s front. Ze didn’t fidget with the buttons, nor the bindings on the stays, ze drew out zir breast while holding the child carefully, but would not look. The fly demon was freezing despite how close ze had held the sickly warm mortal. A series of deep breaths and trying to ease zir tense frame so zir ducts would open, to allow the milk to pass with ease...and ze carefully squeezed to see if ze really did need the angel healing zir body... 

The scent of decaying flowers and copper hit zir just as the first drops of blood leaked out of zir...and Beelzebub’s body wracked as ze fought the sob that had been threatening zir since Gabriel left. 

-I’m all wrong! 

Ze tried to concentrate, fight off zir anguish, before trying again. Tried to get zir body to respond and do it right. But instead ze only bled more and black ichor dribbled down zir breast. Staining zir clothing, dripping onto Liatris’s legs. Ze couldn’t still the whimper that cut through zir and smeared away the blood on the little one, ruining zir gown’s sleeve, cutting zir chest as ze tried to wipe up zir front. Pain was resonating within zir now, physical as well as cruel emotional that zir body forbade zir to brush past. 

Ze quickly redressed and wrapped Liatris, forcing zir body to look normal, as ze rushed through the door and into the night. Ze couldn’t stay and had to risk being found in order to help the baby. Ze had such fear in zir heart ze had never known. 

The places ze looked kicked zir out or threatened zir with authorities or taking the child, calling zir whore and to cut the arriage music from zir child. Even the tavern house where all the people were drunk and lazing about, with their games, booze, and prostitutes, watched zir with cold glares. Ze felt the Sins leaking off these people, the Lust, the Wrath, the Slothfulness, & Gluttony but it was Lust that made zir fear. Spying one human by the back, with eyes that seemed to glint gold for a split second, possibly a trick of the light, raised every alarm and ze stumbled away, backwards and watching the mysterious being, eyeing the room’s occupants, and out the door. 

Ze ran back Hopeless, terrified and uncertain. Ze found zirself back at the rooms the angel had procured for them and ze yelled at zirself to do SOMETHING to help the little one. Ze nearly prayed... 

They dashed in, Hoping beyond Hope that he had returned and felt zir heart plummet on finding it empty. Grateful that it was devoid of enemies, feeling the wards still in place. And pulled open zir damaged gown as ze locked the door behind zir. Ze got on the ground and removed all of Liatris’s clothes and lay the child against zir as ze lay zirself out on the cold floor. Ze had to get the child’s temperature down then maybe ze could travel to the next town. That’s all ze could think to do. That’s all ze had. 

And as the minutes passed Beelzebub wouldn’t dare think of the outcomes ze knew would transpire. The baby was sick, the little one just wanted to not feel this pain anymore, they were hungry, and they just wanted to be held. Despite zir focus, ze tensed up and drew zir blade, getting to zir knees, when ze heard footsteps approach the door... 

************************************* 

It took longer to return than he had thought it would – than he had Hoped – but the matters in Heaven were really big. He had to get back to Beelzebub and Liatris, to impart the very good things he had made happen. So very good that he had forgotten a very key thing about babies and newborns and his own little wife. Children and their needs wait for no man and his wife would be unable to supply on zir own. Not realizing he had forgotten in his haste. Forgot his words to zir. 

He saw the black blood on the door before he was close enough to see the handprint shape. When he did Gabriel ran to and through the door. Panic riddling his heart. Hearing crying as he got closer. Fearing the worst! 

“Bee!” He heard the baby crying but saw no baby and no Beelzebub. His blood ran cold. He ran further in to spy zir curled up on the floor, one hand clawed and holding a blade, ready to attack. Heavenly blue eyes... 

“They have a fever.” 

There was a quiet desperation in zir voice and a choked grunt, that sounded suspiciously like it was covering a sob, stifled and angry. And zir eyes... 

He rushed to zir, to the baby held to zir chest, and ze slumped back to the floor. 

“What are you doing on the floor?! Are you alrig-” 

“I didn’t know what else to do. They’re too warm and I tried to break their fever. They’re too small for this, Gabriel.” 

He reached out and lay a hand on zir shoulder, making zir twitch, and felt a coldness seeping out of zir that wrapped up the child. 

“You’re freezing!” 

“I had to lower their temperature.” 

“Give Liatris here.” 

And ze passed him the baby without hesitation but remained still. 

“I was afr-...I had thought you left us. I didn’t know what to do.” Ze may have cursed out a few disparaging words but they were whispered, closing zir eyes from him to peer into. 

He could only stare at zir as he healed the calming child, finding them both covered in black blood and lacerations. 

“I couldn’t feed them...I’m all wrong, angel, my milk’zz rotten withou-...Thiz izz my body and blood...and it iz nothing but Damnation and devaztation and rot...How could I have thought I could help them?” Ze grunted again and zir eyes latched onto the child. “I tried to leave and find help, but z’no good. I didn’t know what elzzze to do. I thought...Thought I pizzed you off enough to make you go away, or zomething.” Zir lips drew into a tight line but quirked and fidgeted about. But ze refused to look at him. 

“No. No. No. No. I was caught up in Heaven. I was going to come back to you; you didn’t make me go away, Bella.” 

He was just as surprised to see zir eyes watering as he was hearing the word “afraid” almost fall from zir lips, and he couldn’t stop looking over the dark blood stains or zir torn open gown, disturbing to see. He was relieved to see it wasn’t on the infant’s face. 

“What would make you think that?!” 

“What you zaid. What I zaid...What elze wazz I to think?” 

“You’d think I’d abandon you?!” He was too shocked for anything else and seeing the Prince just sit there, keeping watch, saying nothing more with a face ze were trying to void of emotions Warring in zir...Gabriel felt like his heart was physically bruised with a fist. So instead he focused on finishing healing the baby as quick as possible and inspect the blood on them. Liatris had quieted down and was now hitting him with tiny harmless fists, but he still felt it like a mighty blow. 

"We made a deal, Beelzebub, and I would NOT go back on it."

"You would not be the first angel to go back on a deal with a demon, when it became an inconvenience." Ze said, rather tiredly. And zir words were caustic because he could sense no lie in them, making him feel conflicted. Angels really shouldn't be crafting deals with demons...though his own were for the greater good and balance.

“That’s it. Hold the baby. They’re healed.” 

He placed the baby carefully against zir and scooped the Prince up, cradling them both to him. Trying to be delicate. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Getting you off the floor and on the bed. You can’t rest here, dearest.” 

“We need to feed them. I-“ 

“And we will. I just need to get you off the floor and clean first. They seem okay right now. Then we’ll change and go. We have to go in a bit.” He sent out a soothing burst of his aura, miracling the door fixed and locked. Their efforts for a low profile had been dashed anyway so it didn’t matter, and the baby gurgled, but he felt as Beelzebub’s aura clashed with his. Ze were too upset. 

“Come on, let me do this. Stop fighting me. Please...” 

And his face was in zir hair as he deposited zir onto the bed, he could smell that ze had sweat and the coppery tang of blood about zir body, something else that smelled...of decaying roses, dried out leaves, and burnt honey. It made the Archangel weary, and guilt plagued him thinking over how abruptly he had left. Recalling easily, now that his head had been cleared and he had quickly reviewed exactly what he had said to zir. 

All he could do was look at the stoic mess ze were, zir eyes chaos and angry, hair wild; but the Demon Prince would not openly acknowledge it to him, nothing more than clipped hollow sounding words. 

“Go wash up and I’ll take care of the little one.” He willed the food he had retrieved on his way back to stay warm and slid his hands under the child, waiting for zir to give the baby to him. “When you're done, and have eaten, we’ll feed them. Find a new place to hide with a tub so you can soak. You mentioned you liked that.” 

He didn’t want to sound too pushy, but he did nudge zir with his forehead, pressing gently against zir. 

The nearness disturbed zir and zir brow knit up, flinching away, grimace never leaving, before ze managed to get out of the bed and over to the room divider, where the washbasin was. 

“I am sorry...for leaving you like that.” Gabriel called after zir, fully frustrated and he ran a hand over his mouth. “I didn’t mean to make you think I’d...You know I wouldn’t, right?” 

“Doezn’t matter.” 

“It does...Does it hurt? Your...chest?” He gestured to zir chest, then his own. Though ze had seemed to become more comfortable with him touching zir sternum, seeing zir breast bare even, he still tried to be delicate how he addressed zir body. But without the baby in zir arms he could see the full extent of the mess ze were. Blood ruining zir bodice in angry stains. It was definitely worth getting upset over and would have frightened anyone. 

“It izz as it should be, Mezzenger.” 

-Not quite an answer. 

“Let me check you over, first, you have a lot of blood on you.” 

“..It’z the milk I produzed...” There was something very mournful and lost about the tone of zir voice, trying to remain caught up and trapped within zir, and it did not help Gabriel’s heart, nor his need to go to zir. Not when ze stepped back and still hadn’t looked at him. Ze were trying not to be angry too. Telling zirself he was there. They could take care of Liatris now. But if ze said the wrong thing again...“I told you, I’m all wrong. My Damnation, and all that. Z’all.” 

And despite Beelzebub’s quiet admittance and acceptance and finality of zir tone, face finally voided, Gabriel’s heart broke a little more for zir. 

-Damnit. 

“Bee, come here.” He put a little barrier of blankets around the wiggling infant and stood to his full height. Turning round he found Beelzebub still by the divider and no closer, saying “we need to go.” To which he answered, that the barriers they set up are in place and should protect them. Saying, they had time for this because it was important, but ze didn't let zir guard down. Taking the final steps to zir he took zir, much to the demon’s surprise, into his arms and held zir close. 

“You may not want this, but grant me one of those small Mercies you so graciously keep fighting me on. I want to negotiate terms for cease-fire. I know I messed up. Forgive me?” 

Ze eyed him but didn’t back away, even as he tentatively took hold of zir slender wrist to inspect. 

Scratches, both small and big were over zir chest and neck. He could see beyond the torn open stays and chemise a little and saw more all over zir bust. There was just blood everywhere and Beelzebub didn’t seem phased by just how much was on zir. 

“What are these from?! Were you attacked?!” 

“Waz carelezz. Hadn’t realized my nails had...but Liatris iz unscathed.” 

He pulled zir in and held zir, clipping zir forehead with his lips. 

“Bee. Please. Promise me you’ll stop. I didn’t mean to encourage you to terrorize me like this, but hold off? Til after?” 

“What makes you think I was doing this to terrorize you? Don’t be zo full of yourself.” Ze barely growled out trying to pull away. Angry. “I didn’t even think you were coming back.” 

“Forgive me...I swear to you, I had no intention of doing that.” 

“You juzt…left uz. No warning. And the thingz you zaid-” 

“You’re right, what I said weren’t fair and cruel.” He brushed a hand over zir curls, knowing it would be unwanted but tiping zir jaw to look up at him, but the look Beelzebub threw at him was guarding everything away behind zir eyes, but just barely. “I had to go. I have responsibilities to Heaven and what-.” 

“Yeah, you made that clear.” And ze bit zir lip. Ze knew ze couldn’t take care of Liatris alone, Beelzebub couldn’t let zir anger slip.

And, though he allowed zir to pull away, he held zir and really tried to look into zir hypnotic blue eyes, feeling the fatigue from their travels, zir hurt and anger, and then his dreaming memory, seeing zir face morphed in pleasure...and realizing that, though it startled him, he would rather see that face and feel wrong about his inappropriate desires for a demon. The angel thought it was a much better face to see than this defeated, angry Prince. 

He kept telling himself that demons were said to be Lustful anyway. Just part of their twisted Damnation, so it wouldn’t be wrong for someone like the Prince, it should have been normal though it wasn’t.

Those desires were a him issue. Not zir problem. He was better than falling for temptations. He was a God Damned angel of the Lord, for crying out loud. He kept rattling all that off in his head, briefly thinking it off that a demon would be the one who seemed to have adverse reactions to touch and an angel crave that debilitating touch. 

-And because of my inability to handle a DREAM, I left Bee to endure this, like an ass. 

“I know you’re extremely busy and yet have been forced into hiding for Liatris’s safety. My head was jumbled when I said things…but that’s no excuse. You have just as many responsibilities in Hell as I do in Heaven. I should have told you what I was hearing, it would have been better for us.” 

It was an awful half-Truth, because in part he had been running. He stared at zir for a long time but ze only blinked up at him before a resigned breath left zir lips and zir eyes glued to his chest. 

“I’ve been smelling rosemary all day, Gabriel...” 

Ze sounded tired, nothing more. Maybe falling back into an apathetic state but Gabriel’s blood ran cold. He remembered the distinct scent. From Italy and how it was what ze could identify from the compound forced on zir, as well as how the midwives smelled of it. And lastly, how Liatris did when going into their terrifying unholy fits. 

“I dreamt of it...” Zir words made him jostle. “In a house with all the Dead. Six babies. Six mothers. But I had one...I think it was Liatris. And they came for uzzz.” Ze buzzed out in a whisper with a far away look to zir eyes, studying the dream with gross attention. “They grabbed me and took the baby and then...I heard them…getting hurt, but I couldn’t break free and I-thoze baztardzz ztabbed me. Tried to gut me out. But I couldn’t ztop what they did to...” 

“Bee? I’m here. We are NOT going to let anything bad happen to Liatris. I promise.” Ze were shaking like ze were about to come apart, face grim. He wrapped his arms around zir and found ze had snaked zir own around his waist and was pulling him close. “I’ve got you. Both you and Liatris, alright? I’m not leaving again any time soon. Come on.” And he was walking with zir to the bed. He sat the demon down and fetched the waterbasin and a fresh cloth to wash zir and set to work, carefully wiping zir down. It didn’t work as well as he Hoped though, making zir black blood run further down zir chemise and stays, staining it and making things look worse, pooling in zir lap. Ze had really bled out a lot. Wasting so much energy and nutrients. Corrupted, then, in zir Damnation. 

He altered his plan and grabbed a cloth that could wrap and obscure zir top half and had zir slip out from zir clothes, down to zir waist. Not without zir flinching and having to be reassured. Ze had eyed him for nearly too long before ze gave in.

The angel held it closed as he worked in places he normally would be permitted until ze were clean and dry. But instead of trying to touch zir waist or breasts – as he wouldn’t DARE – as one had...bled out so much...not willing to touch zir there without express permission beneath that impromptu wrap, he wrapped zir up in his arms, instead, and sat next to zir, stealing a moment for himself. 

Ze let him but didn’t wrap zir arms around him. 

“I’m so angry at you, pigeon...I’m angry that I trusted you. And I’m furious at myself for endangering Liatris. We need to leave now, itz’not safe.” Then ze whispered almost too low for him to hear. “I didn’t mean to puzh you away. For what I zaid...I’m zzorry...” 

An apology from Beelzebub was not given easily, if ever. 

“You really think I’d listen to a demon trying to get me to leave them alone?” He prodded in an attempt to jest. Ze could feel his stupid smile. 

“It nearly cauzed a monumental coc-” 

“You’re right to be angry with me. I said some terrible things to you. I knew you were upset, and you did ask me to stay. Repeatedly...but, Bee, I really couldn’t disregard a summons. It was important...we could have been found out.” 

He didn’t pull away. Instead, his hands found their way purposefully over zir covering and just at the nape of zir neck, fingering the tendons there, ze were so small in his arms that he had no issue reaching. He was nervous to impart what he discovered. 

“Tell me.” 

“Well, for one, Hell’s kind of on fire. Don’t know if that’s good or bad for you. Prince Asmodeus is missing, too.” Beelzebub tried not to curse but bit out some grumbles. He didn’t let go and wound his fingers in zir hair, burying his face in zir curls, “Metatron and Michael have learned more about the babies. Michael said she noticed that the sacrificial pyres have stopped the same night we took Liatris. They’ve been asking questions about that night. Noticed how I couldn’t be sensed on Earth, so I told them I’ve been tailing close to a demon rebel, told them how the effect had been used as a strategy in the previous battle.” Just as Beelzebub had revealed to them at the War council. 

“...Metatron says they want to reclaim the child...” Beelzebub stopped all functions of zir body, even zir pulse. Ze knew where this was supposed to go. Feared the angel was going to do as ordered. Knew it. Gabriel wouldn’t go against a Divine order. This was it. Someone was going to take Liatris away and ze couldn’t stop it. Beelzebub just never thought that it would be Gabriel to do it. Zir heart began again in staccato against zir commands and pounded too quickly in zir chest and ears, nearly missing what the Messenger had to say next. “I managed to ask them if they’ve seen anything to suggest that maybe the ritual failed and if they thought the last baby was integral to pushing it forward. Asked for discrepancies.” He buried his face in the crook of zir neck and ze felt him tremble as he tightened his grip around zir. Ze could feel his lips brush against zir skin as he spoke. “We found a soul...another baby’s. Born the same day in that town but no one noticed that it was hours before the attack, just that their Death was around the same time. I’ve been ordered to stay the course. No one’s thinking to look further, after what I showed them...Heaven’s not looking for Liatris, Bella.” 

The Archangel of the Lord, the Leader of the Host, had just insinuated that he deflected Heaven away from the baby they had rescued and stolen away with. The child that could easily be taken care of by angel kind, by an undamaged Lifebearer – not realizing Gabriel feared for Liatris’s Life at Heaven’s hands – and he could have been done with them both. Free. 

He could have betrayed them. 

The Prince melted into his arms and buried zir face against his neck, lips bumping against the pulse of his throat and unable to do more but linger there. Ze could already TELL Gabriel wasn’t lying but feeling his steady pulse gave zir relief. Not like ze had meant to but ze stayed. He repeated himself and his words overpowered the sound of zir shaky breaths, not missing how his body kept shaking. Gabriel didn’t miss how zir fingers dug into his back to pull him closer. Could feel how zir body practically vibrated. 

“I’ve heard that Hell wants the same, they don’t know what’s going on. But you still can’t go back till this is done. And we really need to move again. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I put you in this position.” 

“Don’t want your foolizh appologiez. Don’t care for them. I’ll handle thoze idiotz after. We just have to ensure Liatris izzz zafe now. Hide them away until we can rectify the situation.” Ze felt so small in his giant arms and felt the sudden urge to curl up completely against him. It, once more, felt safe to reside there. But instead ze turned and took hold of the baby, not remembering ze had been stripped down to zir waist. Ze wrapped the little one up and absconded them between, nestling the strangely content child there. 

-We don’t have time for this, dumbass. 

But they sat like that for a few minutes more, slowing down before their bodies would react to their not-so-secret anxieties again. Cradling Liatris in one arm and a second hand gripping the angel’s waist. Ze needed to feel him beneath zir hand to know he was there. That ze hadn’t gone mad in zir panic. But he was definitely there, smiling one of his infuriating goofy smiles, planting his forehead against zirs. A large hand covering the tiniest being’s little belly as they tried to take hold and gnaw, his other slid up into zir unruly hair. 

“We need to change our plan. I mezzed up in going out…I thought I saw something while out there...” 

He regretfully nodded, there was no telling who could have spied zir running round with a baby. Especially if they had been covered in blood. It didn’t look good but he knew, seeing how he had found zir, that it was out of fear for their little one’s Life, of being abandoned. 

“Bee, we’ll go with our secondary plan, but after, dearest...you really need to wash up and change...you’re a mess.” 

“Right. Muzn’t be the filth I am.” 

“You know that’s no-“ 

“Eaze, Love. We both know what I am.” Ze leaned in close, zir wicked little mouth quirking up at him…but Heavenly blues still resonating sadness and frustration. 

-Definitely not making this easy. 

“Oh, I know who you are.” He sighed, “The Demon Prince of Hell, Beelzebub, Lord of the fliers. My wife and dearest, who enjoys scaring the Hell out of me. Fiend. One who gives me a very clear understanding of the word ‘worry.’ The very same who has a sword sharpened for me for The End Times. I have your other pair, you know.” He looked down at zir, afraid of what he’d do if he leaned in. 

Dangerous and Damning. 

“You’re foolizh wife.” Ze said almost questioning zirself, and looking down at the now fine child between them, the one who’s waggling hands grabbed at his jacket. Nibbled at their own tiny fingers. 

“Not a fool, but indeed my wife. Come on, let’s try to be inconspicuous on our way out.” And the two got to it with the Messenger jesting again, “I swear, if you weren’t a demon, I’d be extremely concerned about all the blood. Give Liatris here, we need to get you both clean.” He had the gall to laugh, one of his huffy little giggles. 

But, despite feeling like the weight of Heaven and Hell had just been lifted off zir chest a little, Beelzebub was hard pressed to let go of the child. Ze actually allowed Gabriel to remove the rest of zir gown, leaving zir only in a shift at zir waist and the cloth round zir shoulders and breasts. Ze didn’t want to waste time so Beelzebub was washing the rest of zir, under that cloth, and the child down as he did it. Ignoring how his fingers touched zir back, or hips, his fingers grazing over zir belly and a finger dipping with zir belly button, to steady zir or took hold of zir bare waist as he helped zir out of zir volumous skirts. Ze had no time for strange little shivers running up zir spine, not when they had to go and not when ze still had that nagging little anxiety. 

But ze knew he wouldn’t touch zir to harm zir like that, so ze allowed it. 

It was when ze had to eat that Gabriel insisted that he take the baby and ze settle zirself, throwing a new chemise over zir head and unceremoniously pulling the ruined one off zir hips, his fingers finding the wrap that covered zir breasts and shoulders under zir fresh clothes. This time it was very much impossible for Beelzebub to not react, zir heart did flips and ze had to keep zir hands from covering zirself...Angry eyes flashed at him and zir face was several shades pinker and zir thighs may have felt a bit weak. Ze pointedly ignored it all, unable to fight off the blush. There was little choice. Had to focus on converting what ze ate into nutrients and not smack zir dumbass husband silly. 

Ze hadn’t eaten since the outpost, as it wasn’t necessary to do EVERY time as ze had learned to prepare zir body appropriately. Now ze were making up for what was expended from earlier. And still, with all the issues surrounding their major dilemma ze still were facing problems with not feeling hungry at all. Just sick. But ze did as needed. 

It had been one month and a week, exactly, that they had stayed together. Taking care of Liatris. 

Beelzebub did not care of the terrors ze would face on return. It was fucking worth it, no one was going to fuck around with zir, force MEMORIES on zir, murder innocent newborns, and force zir to stand back like a fucking angel and let it happen. Ze would face all of it to stop it, though they’d never admit it was over feelings. And seeing how the little dark fuzz of hair had grown longer on the child, noting how their eyes were becoming lighter, how they would feel sleeping in zir arms or look in the Blessed angel’s, ze were daring to say happy for it. Because that was zir choice to go against everyone to achieve it. Keep Liatris safe. 

Ze’d burn or boil for that all over again, willingly. 

And looking over at the angel...ze felt...frustratingly grateful. Though still conflicted. He was stuck in this because of zir, because he was willing to make a deal for balance sake. Because he felt like he was obligated on some level. But zir chest warmed again as ze watched him dress the baby and put a new bonnet on them, throwing an annoyingly good-looking smile over his shoulder at zir. Ze kept zir face blank and got back to task. 

Ze could hardly taste the food, but the smell was finally overpowering the rosemary scent that had pervaded zir nose. 

Not wasting energy, ze let the angel clear away the mess as ze paced with the child in zir arms, trying to get zir body to relax. Knowing by that point what worked better for zir body and baby. Beelzebub settled and let the angel pull zir into his embrace on the bed and took care of Liatris’s needs. Ze...chanced leaning against him again and let out a quiet breath ze had not realized ze had been holding when he scooted closer. It felt better when he was being his ridiculously weird handsy self, feeling relief when ze felt him do that weird quirk with his mouth pressed against zir head again. He even tucked zir closer and ze both wanted to gag and bury zirself deeper against him. 

If they didn’t have to leave, and weren’t feeding a finally voracious baby, still terrified near out of zir mind from the flash of gold eyes, ze could have fallen asleep. 

But there was no time and they finished, dressing the Prince who would not let the baby go, fierce mouth stern, angel smiling at zir when he would turn zir or adjust zir. Despite the layers of skirts and fancy frippery of pale lavender, Beelzebub felt more like ze were being fitted for War, knowing that something was bound to happen soon. Ready to head out and cut down those who would stand against zir. Even with small bab and angel in toe. Ze made a mistake but ze wouldn’t let anyone hurt them.

Ze had to believe that...

Failure would not be an option...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a difficult chapter for me to work on. I really wanted it to seem like a panic and stress induced misunderstanding and finding the right level of the unhearing arse that we all know Gabriel is and the ready to cut the cord type of being that Beelzebub is, without going overboard. (A little overboard, but can you blame zir?)
> 
> I edited and reworked it. Thought of what would push Bee and found how to make the misunderstanding work to make zir think ze had been at fault (Because TRAUMA!). And wanted to work more into Gabriel’s mixed up head, with how contact from Heaven, paired with his own stress from his dream/memory, and the constant voice of his pre-Fall Lover could overwhelm him and he’d get very careless, seeming very much like an arsehole without meaning to entirely. 
> 
> Then I wanted to ensure a secondary fright that could be questionable. Felt that something had to be just terror inducing enough to question it and leave zir on edge. But I felt an outright attack wouldn’t have allowed the angel to find zir again and that would have been extra bad for Liatris. And I have an intended path to take with their story and don’t plan to deviate. intend for it to be that way (already have things planned out so I’m just trying to get us there. 
> 
> Please, please, let me know your thoughts about this chapter, I always appreciate the con-crit to help me tell the story better, comments on things you caught, liked or disliked, are encouraged and I read them all! It brightens my day and I appreciate it just as much as the con-crit. If you’re reading this and a song, even if its instrumental, hits you in the feels I’d love to hear it. 
> 
> Hope you are all safe and doing well. <3


	23. Fraying Edges Round Frayed Beings, Held Together By Matches & Mistakes…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Beelzebub are falling back into step with each other, learning more about the other, as they take care of sweet little Liatris. Their previous lack of communication makes them address their behaviors but also distract them from other issues they do not want to address at all. 
> 
> Their one major concern is Liatris is getting sicker and neither know what else to do but strive for something that keeps pushing the unwanted to the forefront.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Minor unaddressed traumas mentioned for Bee, ptsd, mentions of past rape, dissociative moments, mentions of destruction, and a minor self-harm moment at the very end. 
> 
> I do think this is a bit fluffy despite all the emotional turmoil, for them. If I missed any triggers, please be kind and let me know. This chapter is, again, a little longer. I’ve kind of been bombarded with a few other things, moving them around and figuring out where they fall, little snippets, whether it’s Regency Bee and Gabe or 1700s Bee and Gabe. But I had to get them out.

They made it to the new location, careful and alert to the prospective eyes from above and below. They had plotted this secondary course when selecting the previous plan, in case of any arising predicaments. Despite what many may have believed about the Archangel Gabriel, he was a careful leader and rather thorough, they both were, always trying to remain vigilant against impending threats. 

The journey was similar in distance, but backwards in stops; hit one spot in the road and find shelter under cover of woods for their needs and then another, smaller outpost before their next intended town. The angel even procured dried meat and fruit, concerned that Beelzebub may have need of the nutrients and energy. He still felt like something was off about the Prince, and he couldn’t get zir to tell him if there was anything else wrong. Gabriel intended to take precaution and kept noting zir little tells; how much paler ze had become over the weeks, how tired ze looked, how zir body dropped in temperature, how ze’d press zir hands against zir waist every now and then. And after how he found zir in such a panic that the demon feared he’d ABANDON them, he worried more. 

They made one extra stop in the woods, as Liatris had such an extreme fit that they feared the child would spit blood from torn vocal cords, lasting far longer than most bouts. It ended with the naked child against the Prince’s bare neck and chest and zir rocking the child, trying to soothe them with little sounds and softly calling their name. It had been a full two-hour fit chased with a fever. Liatris was very weak and very tired after that, and the two immortals did what they could to make the baby comfortable, fearing the unknown. 

Gabriel did what he could, but the Prince was certain it should not have come back and that they must keep eye on it. Ze were so nervous zir stomach was in knots as ze feared ze could do nothing. 

The only saving Grace was that they weren’t far from the city, this one being well developed with a good inn. They even had more cover from trees down the passage up to their door, between their building and the next, allowing Beelzebub and baby some cover. The smell of the flowering trees wafted in the room and it set an ease about the place. 

As soon as they were in the door and EVERYTHING was taken care of – new barriers, shadows dispelled of potential threats, feeding wife and then child, and plotting what was in the village – the two immortals tried to settle in. 

Beelzebub held the child and moved about the room, finally having Liatris after their journey. The little one was between huffy tears and smiles. Still not feeling well. The Prince wanted to soothe their ailments and little heart and get them down to sleep. 

Ze told them stories; strangely pleasant things, about how bugs could fly and what help they provided humans. What bugs pollinate. Strange but beautiful things of how they looked and where they traveled. And the little one in zir arms huffed, hugged, and chewed at their own little fly doll. It made the Prince smile despite zir concerns. It eventually worked and they were able to clean them with no fuss and change them into clean nightclothes. 

Gabriel all but begged zir to get to bed, to REST, said he’d watch over them. But the caveat was he had to lay with them too. Ze would if he would. 

And he found he couldn’t resist if ze were looking him over like that, guarded. Searching. As though curious if he’d run off on them in their sleep. Zir eyes just read of apprehension and distrust. The Archangel hated that it affected him. It shouldn’t. 

They didn’t change the first night – too nervous – even after Beelzebub grumbled about having to wash the sheets in the morning, citing how disgusting it was to bring what clung to their clothes into bed; he recalled that ze had the day after the first night he lay on the first bed too, and every day after. Until ze forced him into a nightgown, only washing sheets every few days after that. Zir own fastidiousness did amaze the angel sometimes. And he recalled what he had said and felt guilt all over again, drawing zir closer, hating how it seemed to pull a quiet sigh from zir lips as though his act was a balm instead of him being the one to cause zir damage with his previous words. It was still strange to feel this way over a demon, but everything was strange in regard to Beelzebub. Everything but the blade ze had placed by zir side of the bed to draw, should they be attacked. Ze still hadn’t collected the pair of it. 

There was no one else like his infernal wife and adversary, in his opinion. 

And then the night after, they slept. And the night after that. They slept together, until finally allowing themselves to succumb to nightshirts and a sleepy, fidgety baby that would bury their little head against him, and a Demon Prince who would practically wind zirself up around him and hold them both to zir. 

Each night though, the Prince would dream not of the fields ze wished to lay about in. And they would turn into a nightmare that would force zir awake. 

Beelzebub dreamt of Italy...of the studio...of how he poisoned zir…the smell of it and burn down zir throat...each strike...Luca hurt zir as he penetrated zir...pushed roughly into zir...how ze would desperately fight him...how ze could do NOTHING to stop him, hearing zir angry hissing struggling breaths ring in zir ears and freeze zir teeth, as though real... 

How ze would see Gabriel in the frame of light... 

How, instead of doing as he had all those years ago, turned away from zir with a cold uncaring look to his lavender eyes…left zir...how ze begged...how ze cried and reached out for him... 

And ze would spring up gasping and find Gabriel already had zir hand in his and had zir wrapped up in his arms, whispering words to soothe zir. He held zir close and gave zir reassurance that ze were fine. That they were all safe. That he was there with zir. How Liatris was there with them. Safe. All safe. And ze finally would let out a shuddery breath and stop the onslaught of strangled off sounds from zir mouth, jaw shuddering, angry at zirself for being affected. 

Ze’d completely still for a few minutes, still gripping his hand, the Archangel unable to pull anything from zir. 

Then, as though it had hit zir like a bag of bricks, ze would collapse against him. Bury zir face against his neck and hold the lost child between them. Confusing and conflicting and quiet. Everything that the two were not supposed to do and not supposed to have. 

He’d hold zir through all of that and ze’d breath in the scent of flowers that seemed infused into his very being and roughly drew Gabriel closer, grasp at him. Find the unnecessary pulse in his neck with zir lips and plant zirself there. Feel his hand rub zir back. Until ze settled. 

He’d ask. Every time. And ze’d tell him it was just a mixed-up bad memory. Both having come to an agreement that should they have a dream that promoted cause for concern that they would tell the other to see if it warranted leaving their holding. They needed to communicate better in order for their arrangement to work. 

Gabriel had already scouted their next few possible options on his returns to Heaven, finding that Beelzebub had been onto something, their previous hideout had been set fire to. The stink of a different evil all over the town with nothing else to go on. But they were ready should anything arise. They just had to deal with their present situation. 

They’d have to take care of the baby for a night-time feeding, as one would for babies that small, and then get back in bed, curling back up against the Messenger who had not left zir to such a fate that night, all those years ago, with the child they were intent on saving under zir hand. 

And as the days rolled by, they had to deal with the strange growing illness. One that defied everything they tried, as it kept coming back, despite the advantage of the Archangel. It was spiked with the baby’s hysteric fits and burned, and the demon tried to sooth with cool hands and remedies that ze later had Gabriel go out to the midwife’s in search of. 

Spiraea plant to reduce fever, bergamot for an anti-inflammatory, horehound for that underlying wheeze they could hear. All in case of a spike when Gabriel was away. 

After one intense instance, the angel was eyeing the little one in his arms and tried to figure out how else to possibly console them even after the debilitating and draining hysteric fit had finished. They were tired and sore and crying. The two ethereals were trying everything and the baby seemed incapable of easing. Beelzebub was so close to pulling out zir hair and kept pacing from one end of the room to the other, interrupting zirself when a thought would come. At one point ordering little shiny bugs to flutter about. That almost did it, but the Prince had to keep them under zir vigilant command to not be too chaotic and the child lost interest. 

Then Gabriel started to sing. And he wondered why neither he nor the Prince had ever sung to the baby before. 

He was a musician, after all, and he remembered from when he had tended to children that usually pleased them. He sung out a joyous piece praising the Almighty. Unfortunately, this did not go well with his infernal counterpart, for obvious reasons. Ze growled low, face scrunching up, and ze struggled to stand still. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Izn’t it obviouz?” Ze scoffed. 

“If you don’t like it, you sing something.” He was as cross as ze were, both nerves frayed. He put the mini-hellion in the actual hellion’s arms with an indignant huff and zir eyes went wide. Ze didn’t say anything for a good few seconds and Gabriel began to wonder if something else was wrong. 

The instance the sentence registered, the instance he looked into zir eyes, he became both nervous and Hopeful... 

Hopeful that ze would sing the song that plagued him for millennia. Hopeful…that ze wouldn’t… 

Dread welled up in his heart as he waited... 

“I don’t sing.” 

Silence. Relief. Frustration. 

“Then don’t complain about what I do.” 

And the two all but actually harrumphed at the other, until the child seemed to get louder and both sighed in frustrated solidarity. 

“Come on, little lamb, can’t you grant us one of those little Mercy?” Beelzebub actually begged softly, sweeping the child’s hair from their face. “A tiny Mercy? You need rest.” Ze cooed tiredly, rubbing zir tiny button nose against the child’s similarly shaped one, but they shrieked and grabbed zir curls and tugged, as hard as the baby could. Ze sighed and frowned, defeated, but nothing more. 

Gabriel was quick to extricate the tinier terror’s little human claws from the not as tiny demon terror’s hair, making noises to both ease them and distract. 

He knew, if he were fit for his role as a diplomat of Heaven, that he’d have to meet Beelzebub halfway over their conundrum. He assumed it had to hurt to hear Heavenly music and felt he couldn’t do that to zir while in their shared predicament. He had been thoughtless before. And apparently, thoughtless again, as he almost hummed what he had just forbade into existence seconds before, as though it had tried to punch out from his chest. 

His Lover’s song nearly made a break for it. But it got swallowed back into his throat before a note could vibrate from his vocal cords. 

He wouldn’t allow it. 

He cursed his stupidity and reopened wounds, with the onslaught of the relearned memories he felt raw. It hurt to think about it, and he feared... 

If ze reacted to it… 

He immediately scavenged his mind for other songs from the mortals, any song! He was the Archangel of communication, for God’s sake! He had thousands to draw from in every language, even when ONE constantly inflicted his mind. 

And he hastily recalled what had been sung by a man with long red hair and dark glasses by a pond, fooling around with a stringed instrument. He sang about a Loved one, something sweet and regretful. It spoke of being drawn to their face, their blue eyes. It wasn’t a particularly perfect song, but it had caught the angel’s ear and felt appropriate. It had reminded him of someone very particular. 

It wasn’t exactly a praising song either, not really, so it was fine to sing. It was about Loving and missing someone that looked on that man that he couldn’t have. How their absence eased his heart because he could do nothing else when with them. 

That would suffice. That was safe. 

And Gabriel really did LIKE Beelzebub’s eyes. He was still certain there was a Holiness about them that wasn’t supposed to be there with zir, still, especially in the face of the demon. 

So, he hummed the beginning as he brushed Beelzebub’s hair back from zir face. Fixing what had been pulled out of place – to keep it away from the child’s grasp, of course – and looked down into those Heavenly Blessed blue eyes. 

“…from looking, I sure can refrain…” 

On eyes that haunted him since he met zir, making him question why ze bore them still on learning they had always been with zir. Haunting him with the fear and terror he had witnessed emanate from them. Haunted him by making him miss home... 

“...Or absence may cure all my pain...” 

The baby started to calm, and the demon’s full attention was on the angel, cocking zir head to the side, pale eyes scrutinizing him. But the Prince didn’t draw away, ze didn’t recoil. Beelzebub watched and allowed him to touch zir and zir eyes...seemed to soften. 

He felt possessed as he continued, still softly for the child’s sake, but more confident with each word as he looked down at his counterpart. He...touched zir face, zir cheeks, and brushed his knuckles against the softness of zir corporation there. The hidden apples of zir cheeks when ze would smile on those very rare occasions he witnessed. 

“...Nor knew I till then how I Loved...” 

He mimicked the movement on the baby, seeing Beelzebub become uncomfortable, changing his focus. But then Gabriel returned both fingers and gaze to zir and gently brushed his blunt fingers down zir nose, tracing it down and over zir cheeks before bringing his knuckles back to them again. 

Ze remained completely still through all of it. Analyzing each touch. Heavenly eyes focused. 

He passed quickly over the small mortal again before returning to the demon and fluffed out the soft curls on zir head. He just kept switching back and forth between the two as he sang, slowly over Beelzebub before a quick repeat of the action on the child. The looks he gave zir were just as confusing and hypnotic as the touch, disarming and alarming. Zir breath was almost imperceptible. 

The words made Beelzebub’s heart race and ze felt out of touch with zir body. Ze felt as he traced zir face so very carefully as a shiver coursed through zir. Ze felt a little dizzy and as though ze were falling forward? 

And ze were. But luckily Gabriel was right there, cradling the baby between them and steadying zir. 

-What the Heavens just happened... 

Ze felt as though ze could keep falling and shook at the thought. Ze had done enough of that. Ze wanted to go, run from him, but Beelzebub couldn’t figure out how to work zir body. 

“I think Liatris, liked that.” Beelzebub swallowed. 

“I think they did.” 

“Where did you learn of it? That’s definitely not Heavenly.” 

“I heard it shortly after you left me.” He tried to smile but it didn’t reach his eyes, then shook his head. “Sounded nice. Her creations sometimes come up with nice things.” 

Ze drew away and cleared zir throat, shivering a little and Gabriel tried not to put his hands back on zir. 

“Let me...” He looked for the shawl that he knew ze sometimes wore draped around zir shoulders and plucked it from the back of the chair. Ensuring it was clean with a quick shake, he draped it around zir, unable to keep his fingers from brushing over the raw edging of threads. 

“Why are you always so cold.” He wanted to run his hands over zir shoulders but worried that was too much for the demon. 

Ze shrugged, “Guess She took my warmth from me, too.” But ze couldn’t help but wonder if ze ever were meant to have warmth. Ze hadn’t meant to say that out loud but, thankfully, didn’t let it sound more than a faraway query, almost dismissive. But Beelzebub could feel Gabriel looking over zir with his stupid pretty eyes that ze could understand why most every human were dazzled by them. 

Ze tried to shake every strange feeling off and refocused on the now calmly squeaking baby. 

Ze still didn’t sing or hum but told more stories. More about bugs, and how some could glow in the dark, and how ze thought they lit the sky like their own stars. 

The Archangel who had actually hung stars huffed a giggle incredulously that bugs could be likened to stars, but the longer he listened, the more he liked the idea. Of how these lightbugs were like little wishes, flitting about trying to find someone to find them and wish on them, like slowly shooting stars. How the old humans used to send their wishes to zir by them. That some liked to lure humans away with promises. Sometimes false ones, some not. 

After a lull had settled, Liatris busying themselves with gnawing on the Prince’s shoulder, and ze read one of the books ze were trying to find answers through, bouncing them as they paced, Gabriel couldn’t keep his curiosity in check. 

“Why don’t you sing, Bee?” 

“Why would I?” Ze asked, instantly defensive, shoulders squaring. The very focus set zir teeth on edge. Ze didn’t like to think about it. 

“I just thought...you did a lot of temptations and influenced artists of all types during a period of time when it was at its height. Thought you would sing, not just focus on writing and art. You did model.” He shrugged waving his hands about zir, trying to seem nonchalant but was recalling how he had invaded a studio he had tracked the presence of demonic influence to, finding zir bare of everything but a wet shroud and flower garland held before zir hips. 

He remembered how ze had been stood in repose, head down in false humility and playing at being the Virgin, as the artists all drew zir out in great detail. How he had remembered the way zir body looked as the sheer fabric clung to zir form and how zir eyes lit up in shock on seeing him before zir. How zir blush showed through the veil. 

And how frustrated and angry ze had become, tossing his caplet back in his face after he had tried to cover zir knowing ze were cold and in distress. 

He desperately tried not to chuckle at zir remembered exasperation as ze clutched zir head and all but shrieked at him, “That’z not an end all dizcuzzion anzwer, pigeon!” When he told the humans he was zir husband. 

The seemingly innocent and dense angel didn’t realize how he had left zir. Left zir in anger and trying to cope with wants ze had not had experience with, especially in such intense an outpouring. 

“I did influence the musicians, but I never sang.” Ze tried not to look at the angel. Tried not to remember how Lucifer...experimented with zir when he had gotten angry over how ze had behaved too reluctant to lay with Him one time. How he said zir “excuse in words isn’t pleasing enough...” and he did do as he pleased. Picked zir apart and claimed He wanted to learn zir better. 

He complained that it hadn’t stop zir annoying buzzing, said He would have to do it again, later, to try. And, after the first few times of these…operations, ze felt zir voice sounded strange to zir ears.. 

It disturbed zir to think on it, felt the claws sink into the skin of zir throat and remembered flitting in and out of consciousness as He worked. 

“Pity. I’m sure it would have doubled your numbers.” Gabriel shrugged, and turned to the child and eyed them, almost cooing at the small baby. “And I’m sure it would have bewitched our little lamb into slumber by now.” 

“Don’t.” Ze startled out of zir memories. 

“What?” 

“They aren’t...” Ze felt like the walls were suddenly closing in on zir. Brow furrowed. Breathing coming in too quick. The room started to tilt a bit. The book hit the floor, but Beelzebub didn’t hear it. 

“Bee?” He left his hands to hover over zir and he saw something unreadable in zir eyes swim around them. A startling whirlpool of emotions. “Bee? What’s wrong?” 

Ze couldn’t stop thinking... 

“Bee, look at me. Tell me what’s wrong?” 

Lucifer would have taken them... 

“Bee?” 

And if the Archangel ever found out about zir failure... 

“I know we don’t need to but, I’d really appreciate if you’d breathe right now.” 

Gabriel would hurt zir like Lucifer would... 

His hands were on zir, cradling zir cheek in one hand and trying to get zir to look him in the eyes while the other gave support to holding onto the baby, lest ze drop them. He had bent himself to be at zir level, trying to get zir eyes to focus on him. 

The angels never hesitated, either... 

“Bella, please!” 

Ze weren’t supposed to keep them! Nothing and No one! 

Beelzebub startled and finally took a soft breath, and Liatris started to cry again. Gabriel couldn’t pull back the concern from his face as he searched zir eyes for zir. 

“I’ve got you…I’ve got you both…Let’s...let’s sit down, Bella. Come on.” He brought zir over to the bed and drew zir close, rubbing circles over zir back, his other hand supporting zir arms carrying the baby. “I’ve got you.” 

Ze had fear and weakness in zir heart that ze could not bear to lose, but ze would have no choice but to. Beelzebub would do it. First, ze had to make Liatris safe away from the diabolical bond, before anyone else could take the baby from zir. Ze had to. It was for the best. 

“I need to figure out this blezzed connection.” Ze went to get up, retrieve the book ze had dropped. But the angel kept zir in place. 

“We will.” 

“We can’t delay thizzz…this any further. We’re a-” 

“Bee, they’re safe with us.” He searches zir eyes, he KNEW it was TRUE that Liatris was safer with them. “There’s no one on this Earth more capable of keeping them safe, than us.” 

He needed zir to believe that. 

“You know that we aren-“ 

“We can protect them. And we are doing our best to remove the bond. It’s not like we’re not looking over these books every minute we have.” He was trying very hard to sound out exactly how they were better to keep the child in their custody. “And you’ve been ensuring the baby is developing mentally and physically as they should. Able to fit in with the humans.” 

“I’m-“ 

“How do you know so much about rearing children, by the way?” 

Deflect. He kept hold of zir but didn’t press zir closer or let his hands rove. Just Hoped ze would become distracted. 

“Don’t know. Feels like the information has always been there, in the back of my head.” Ze were looking anywhere but the child and angel, but his plan seemed to work. “Maybe She programmed me to be like thiz and it just never went away. Wazz uzeful, in Ekron and Aram.” Ze cringed and grunted in anger. Ze hadn’t meant to make mention of zir long forgotten cults. 

Recalling their short meeting in Aram, Gabriel’s eyebrows flew high on his forehead. He was trying not to make an amused face. 

“Uuuhhh how was that information useful during…uh.” 

Ze rolled zir eyes, “You may not believe me but what you saw waz not all there waz to it.” Ze decided to go on, because ze were telling zirself ze didn’t care, and he was asking. A finger was taken hold of and a little baby mouth had begun to gnaw on it, slap at zir as though to pull zir attention. They were fully settled again when zir eyes were on them and little feet were being tickled. That smiley face became apparent around the demon’s finger. “They wanted to learn, trusted in scienze. Some had familiez that they simply taught and cared for. What you saw waz...a zpezzial occazion. And all YOUR fault, by the way. I usually kept away, let them have their sexzz partiez. Not my buziness. They weren’t all awful people...just Padi.” 

Ze weren’t entirely unaffected by the memories of zir people, how ze lost them twice over and swore to zirself that, unless ordered by zir King, ze would never initiate another. Not after how Sandalphon had destroyed everything. The demon thought ze had gotten smarter the second time and separated the children and those who were or just gave birth in another compound, during the time of Aram. 

“Their children uzed to play in the gardens and the babies would...It was more communal and caring...I taught the humans what was good for their young. For those who didn’t want children, I taught how to prevent concepzion. Also taught the humanz about dizeases and what-not.” Ze eyed the Archangel who didn’t make a sound, assuming he’d be perturbed by the ideals of sexual safety and contraception being taught by a demon, but he only seemed to listen. “For those who wished for children, who prayed to me for them, there were rituals, yeah, but I taught them about what promoted fertility...so that they could bear and safely.” 

Ze remembered the nurseries, the blabbering chortles of new Life that ze had helped deliver on some occasions. As their Ba’al, ze had specially ensured all were comfortable in regard to health and education, taken care of, with everything to inspire developmental growth and had all the best in child-care. Ze PRIDED zirself on their upbringing, as ze just liked children. However, it was always that suspicion that the compulsion to care for them was God’s intervention. Some cruel twist to keep Beelzebub in check, make zir care even when ze wanted to blank out. And so ze cared, once more to ensure the children’s safety. 

Their pained screams still hurt, if ze thought about it. Beelzebub wouldn’t. 

Ze made certain Aram’s secondary compound had been far enough away – taking a day to travel by foot from the town over – to not be associated with easily. However, after Gabriel had taken the small found child and Sandalphon demolished the main building, Beelzebub had returned after a few days, having given instruction to the caregivers to ensure the children’s safety, if contact had been lost with the main compound. They would wait for Beelzebub to return. Supply them with names of new families for the children, planning to influence said families that could handle them and didn’t reek of terrible Sins to take them in. 

But the Demon Prince of Hell found Sandalphon waiting for zir. 

They fought, and of course Beelzebub discorporated him, but it ended in zir people’s carnage once more. It wasn’t as quick as the compound and smoke inhalation and it wasn’t kind. Sandalphon was not a kind angel and was close to the same level of strength as the Prince, good at being as conniving. He tried to bargain with zir for their release, for what HE wanted of zir...it ended in both their blood on the walls and floor of a place that once held innocent laughter... 

Ze twitched and Gabriel loosened his grip on zir. 

“The rest wanted to better the world through it. Sure, they weren’t PURE – most were really just little arz...poncez, really, but they weren’t really maliciouzz, or anything of the sort, that was just my demonic aura all over them. The Almighty just didn’t want them learning from a demon.” 

“Bee, they were worshiping you. That was their crime, not learning from a demon.” 

“You think they worshiped me? Ha! They could hardly listen to me, and I was right there doing the speaking.” Ze actually snorted, “The high priest miztook my want for almondz to symbolize a need for a consort and Lover. I mean, can you believe that, pigeon?” 

Ze were almost laughing and those apples were threatening to break through, despite being appalled. Gabriel was going to risk trying for it. 

“Alright, I’m offended. You bartered almonds to get me, an Archangel of the Lord.” 

Ze snickered, it brightened up zir face, “No. you fell through my roof and landed on me, causing my people to AZZUME you were delivered by their Ba’al. Me. Utter shi-rubbish.” Ze bopped the baby in zir arms, looking away again. 

Gabriel shrugged and patted zir waist and started to run his hands over Liatris’s head, smirking. But ze got a faraway look to zir eyes again and zir lips turned a half-grimace. 

“It was I that sold myself for…’a pittance.’ I should be offended.” 

And though ze pretended not to care, the mood turned sour again. Gabriel pressed his face against zir forehead and muttered against zir skin that smelled of flowers and honey and Earth. “You offered, for a ring and a showdown to end all showdowns. I would never call that a pittance. You’re not mine to keep, Bella.” 

-Not what I meant to say! Why is this so difficult?! 

“You’re not an object to sell. You’re not less. Do you really think I’d make you my adversary, if that were True? You can’t be bartered for, we made vows TO each other. But you are my wife, that part I will absolutely not debate.” He didn’t mean to press against zir so hard and move zir so far to have to support zir slight frame, but he had. And strangely, Beelzebub didn’t flinch away. More like sagged like a ragdoll. “So, for now, let me take care of you, as a husband should.” 

Ze made a face, but it wasn’t as strong of disgust as it should have been. Instead, Beelzebub teetered back and pushed against him, slightly more aggressively than he, and caused him to fall against the bed frame and zir body draped against him. Baby nestled cozily between the two. Liatris hardly seemed phased, little fist in mouth and another clamped around Beelzebub’s hair, causing Gabriel to have to gently disentangle the littlest terror before trying to settle them all together, running his hand over zir curls and cheek. Beelzebub said ze were glad that their fever was down again as he did so. 

“Would you have done it all again?” 

“What? The cults?” 

“Marry me?” 

That earned a real laugh, still strangled and weird, but too surprised to be anything but genuine and silly and Beelzebub’s. The Prince’s face ended up in his chest, even though zir eyes shut, the strength of it took zir out. When ze recovered enough to look at him he was shocked to see how zir eyes glittered with zir laughter. “Z’not like we were supposed to, now, waz it, Love?” 

“So, doesn’t that make it more a demonic reason to do it?” He couldn’t stop his own toothy grin, the one that Beelzebub hated because it was too perfect, cheeky, and frustrating. One ze should punch him for. “You could have discorporated me. Instead you married me. Pfff! Talk about rebelling, Beelzebub.” He teased. 

“What are you trying to encourage here? You’re daft, you really are, Love!” But ze kept laughing and Gabriel was DEFINITELY going to encourage that. It wasn’t malicious, nor cruel. Simply warming and oddly cute, prompting Gabriel to really listen to the timbre of it. Memorize it. 

“Supporting interdepartmental relationships.” Which earned a chortle, a little pinch, and an eye roll. But the smile stayed. “I’m not going to lie; I prefer our marriage over discorporation.” He nodded, sucking in his bottom lip, but drawing the two beings in his arms closer. Still all smiles. “You’re a handful, but you’re clever and mischievous in such intriguing wicked ways. I can’t get my head around some of it. You definitely always have me on my feet.” 

He gently jostled the little baby in their arms, making them gurgle sounds that started to sound like little laughs. Not quite. But almost. Breathy squeaks, sweet and wonderful. Causing Beelzebub’s apple-like cheeks and underused smile to stay. He tried not to focus too much on it. Thought it would disappear. 

“Like this: did NOT see this happening. Never.” 

Beelzebub was too busy trying to dissect the words and happenings before zir to notice and were touching the child’s little cheeks and nose. Had seemed to forget ze were laying against an angel comfortably, laughing at the ridiculous things he was saying. Eyeing him as though he was mad, though not concerned of it. But then a little fist that had snatched zir hair, again, and tugged hard enough for the Archangel’s giant hands to reach for the tiny culprit to stop them. Chastising in a soft croon to the baby with “Oh, no, little Hellion! Don’t!” And carefully extracted cute pudgy baby fingers. 

“Where’s Hieronymus? We should really keep Liatris from pulling your hair, dear.” 

“Buggy’s here somewhere, I know I saw him.” And Beelzebub was reaching zir hands around the Archangel, scouting under his back and then the pillows behind him, then under his hips and...ass, making Gabriel jump at the touch. Ze groused, “You’ve zzquashed him. Look what you’ve done, angel!” Though there was no real damage to Hieronymus Bugsch, aka Buggy. Named so by the demon who got to whisper and influence the artist of the same first name at one point; deferring to Buggy for the child’s sake (and secretly, because ze thought Buggy was far cuter but ze was a demon and wouldn’t admit to thinking something cute). Ze resettled against him, plopping the fly doll into fidgeting baby’s hands. Ze couldn’t stop the little huff of a laugh as the baby squawked happily away, waving Buggy ferociously by its wings. Curling zirself up against the Archangel, ze pointedly ignoring how ze were certain this was all going to end terribly. 

“Why don’t you go soak in the tub. I’ll take care of tiny terror for a little while, dearest.” He pointedly omitted the “our” that fell from his lips the first time. 

“After you get back. Let me rest here, dear huzband. For a little longer, yeah?” And ze slipped zir arm back around the small of his waist, feeling that he was there and that, for the moment, things were as they should not be. Gabriel needed no convincing and re-wrapped his arms around zir and the child. With zir face tucked under his chin he missed how the fly demon’s eyes dimmed and ze bit the inside of zir mouth enough to make it bleed. 

-Just be foolish and pretend...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up and down, up and down, I will lead them up and down. Because angst. And reasons. 
> 
> Okay, those aren’t valid reasons that make any sense. 
> 
> This chapter hits on a few different things but I TRIED to keep it coherent and hope it flowed well. There was a lot of material in here and I’ve been trying to keep things organized when I put it down. 
> 
> And now you have the bugs name! Hieronymus Bugsch. Buggy for short. Do I think I’m being witty? Yes. Do I think I’m being dumb? Hell yes. It’s cute and I’m not taking it back! Also, Bee would 10000000% be that arse who would name the bug Hieronymus Bugsch thinking ze were being clever. I never got to include the artist in the Italy arc of ATWFD but I wanted to. At least I got to add him here. 
> 
> I really wanted to show more of Bee’s emotional torments (as if ze NEED more torments. I’m an awful person. Why am I like this, everyone?!). Ze want what ze REALLY OBVIOUSLY CAN’T have and shouldn’t want, and ze are a complete act of contradictions. Wanting to keep a baby ze had gotten attached to and knowing it was wrong and will cost zir. How ze still are affected by zir miscarriage ze didn’t want, how ze know what zir place is in the grand scheme of things and the great plan, where ze still believe Gabriel would behave if he learned of it. And yet still how ze can’t stop zirself from keeping away from him either. In small ways. Ze are sometimes just as handsy...you just have to catch it...(Which started towards the end of the first story. It’s not new.) 
> 
> And a side note for those who forget because of my long-winded arse: ze used zir Kong’s words of how he said Beelzebub bargained with Gabriel for a ring He thought was a “pittance” and ze should be ashamed. So yes, hitting that dead horse.
> 
> How Gabriel keeps taking his mile where ze give him an inch, him giving Beelzebub more than ze should be willing to endure. But they’re building something weird off of sordid deals and necessity, when they both know they shouldn’t. 
> 
> Gabriel...is trying. For everything! He’s not a very good angel in my opinion and finds ways to keep things he shouldn’t have. And I think any time Beelzebub’s involved everything he knows he should be kind of does a bellyflop in the ocean. Like something left out that he knows he shouldn’t take but he suddenly has no restraint. I think he’s very in tune with the world around him, definitely Bee, but doesn’t let on. I think he acts dumb in a lot of situations, others he is because he’s not the unflappable perfect angel he believes he is and has a lot of issues with mental over taxation. 
> 
> The song is a real song but doesn’t actually mention blue eyes, I just stretched things in there. The song is called, If All I Love Is Her Face: https://www.americanrevolution.org/songs/songs-love/ls121.php I almost went with Of All The Torments, Of All The Cares, as I thought that would suit too. But I feel like that red haired singer (::cough cough:: Crowleytm singing about his angel since the 1700s ::cough cough::) is a bit more of an obvious dolt and that Gabriel is also an obvious dolt. Poor sweet obvious dolts... 
> 
> Another sidenote: since I have looked way too much at both these actors faces to try and get their expressions and features good enough, I just want to point everyone in the direction of Anna Maxwell Martin’s laugh. 
> 
> http://www.frockflicks.com/death-comes-to-pemberley-2013/ 
> 
> You’re welcome. 
> 
> I hope that’s the kind of laugh you were picturing because that’s the unexpected laughter I felt ze would make. 
> 
> Here’s Jon Hamm with the type of facial hair that I think he’d have when he thinks he’s being “oh so clever”. 
> 
> https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/14/style/what-is-jon-hamm-doing-now.html 
> 
> Questions are always welcome and I answer to the best of my ability, trying not to spoil things (I know I write a lot.) 
> 
> Con-crit is WELCOME! I want to make this story palatable even if it is horrible subject matter. I try to go back and fix things too, sometimes I redo my editing as well, so even grammar gets fixed as best I can. 
> 
> COMMENTS REALLY MAKE MY DAY! I appreciate hearing what makes you enjoy the story, or what you found funny, even dumb, or what really shocked you. 
> 
> Kudos...I won’t deny that I like kudos... 
> 
> I hope you are all safe and well. Please be mindful of each other, please don’t lose steam, please keep going.


	24. When The Mood Strikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Beelzebub have re-established a small balance of harmony in their life around the baby, after they moved to a new location. However, things aren’t meant to be safe and happy for the three and danger is afoot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: some blood, minor panic/anxiety issues, very minor body horror, and implied/mentions of self-harm. 
> 
> I don’t think there’s much to say about this chapter. Just that minor repercussions are had. 
> 
> If I’ve missed a trigger warning, PLEASE let me know. I missed one about the mentions of past rape in the previous chapter and didn’t catch it til a few days later and kind of bowled myself over about it. I’m sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable. 
> 
> There is a bit of non-verbal consent. But you'll see what I mean. It should be clear.

Another timid lull set in on them again, another week and a half of reading and searching for answers. But also more development with Liatris and attention showered on the little soul who should no longer exist. More hugs. More little kisses. More cuddling. More secret soft smiles. More sweetness that a demon would deny unless it involved actual sugar that was stolen (which was only discussed as ze could do no pilfering and there were certain restrictions ze had implemented in regards to foods ze could ingest). And a Prince doting even less in secret than ze were willing to admit. Intertwining zir unwanted heart with another’s ze should not have. Caring that would hurt zir in the end. 

And even trusting Gabriel more than ze knew ze ought to. Ignoring how ze shouldn’t be so comfortable with the enemy, sleeping so soundly in his arms and even resting against him more readily. Not only when he’d pull zir into his embrace while ze fed the baby, or about to sleep, or when he’d brush zir hair so carefully...dangerously comfortable... 

Ze kept blaming the hormones pumped into zir body to connect zir more with the child and...It was necessary and ze knew how it worked. It just also did things to exacerbate zir behavior with everything else. Namely the only thing else in zir life, a specific Archangel of God. 

Ze should have resisted, but Beelzebub was being foolish. Ze knew ze were. The lines between behaving appropriately for a baby’s sake to visually enforce good communication with zir husba…adversary were blurring. It did not help that the angel didn’t behave like he should. Or maybe because he was always trying to be the embodiment of a ‘perfect Loving angel/husband,’ which made zir sick to ruminate on thoughts either way, ze weren’t sure. 

On a day not too long into their stay at their new lodgings, Gabriel had to return to Heaven for a dual meeting with Hell – one that was not only to discuss progress, but to speak on Beelzebub’s and Asmodeus’s sudden disappearances and decide if it was something to look into – which ended with Dagon attempting to corner Gabriel on his way out. They growled at him to “give this to my Prince, should you run into them in your stupidity.” And shoved a small pouch in his hand, along with several pages in a script he could not decipher. Which naturally disturbed the Archangel of Missives and Communications. But a flick of his eyes down at it again and he saw words that alarmed him into dropping the pages. Secrets revealed that he KNEW Beelzebub would discorporate him over learning. He collected them and hid them in his coat, eyeing everything and everyone around him. 

Simply not his business and not relevant to Heaven. 

The light rain he had left his other half and the baby with had turned into a downpour and some rather intense light work. It was unnerving. All he could think of was that dreadful storm that ended with the voice of his Lover shrieking in his mind and his wife pleading with him not to touch zir the way zir attacker had. So needless to say, Gabriel was very anxious to return to them. 

It took him a while to make it to their little sanctuary, coming from a slight distance. He was trying to be cautious of any possible threats, but what he saw on his return made the dark and dreary day not as so. 

“You like that, Liatris? You like the light show the angel’s put on?” Beelzebub was kissing their little fists then tickling their tummy. “Course you would. You like what that witless bird does. I see you flash those little smiles at him when he does silly things.” 

Oh, he would NEVER admit that he was spying on zir. Not even if he was spotted. How could he consider it spying when the window was open and ze were standing right there, within view? Couldn’t. 

But he did stay back to watch as ze quietly regarded the baby ze had just changed into clean underpinnings. How careful ze were with Liatris and zir face stoic but soft. Zir eyes were soft. 

And the Demon Prince was carefully touching the child, running zir hands over little feet and toes and fitting thin fingers in tiny fists...cooing at the child. Quietly. 

And when ze started to speak to the child of mortals ze had a soft sternness Gabriel had only ever heard from zir when alone. But gentler still. 

“Little Hellion, what are we ever to do with you?” Ze made a face and scrunched up zir button nose at the child, like ze were sizing the little one up. “You have to be compliant and do as we say. You must grow strong. You must learn and be smart. Do not trust any other.” 

Ze brushed zir hand over the child’s near black hair and the baby was grabbing at zir wrist, making more noises. Probably trying to nibble zir hand. Making zir huff and smirk. 

“Now, you really must pay attention. I will not have you descending into Hell and become one of my charges, I’ll simply not have it.” Ze crooned, giving a glare at the child that didn’t seem True to the hidden angel. “I have a reputation to uphold and I can’t have you trying to make these faces at me, z’not good for me, you must understand.” 

Ze started to run zir hand over the child’s cheeks and gently pinched their button nose. 

“Don’t give me that look, you petulant child, I am a Prince of Hell and I’m not to be meddled with. I show no Mercy. Mercy’s for Gabriel. Beg for it from him.” 

Ze made a face at the child blubbering at zir in baby talk, kicking legs and mimicking facial expressions that seemed like a smile. 

“Bless it all. You even smile like him. You’re as right awful as he is.” But zir little cheeks betrayed zir with the appearance of apples in them and Gabriel’s eyes grew wide. Beelzebub was smiling one of zir tiny smiles at the child that smiled like an angel, and it lit up the room. “You’re both impossible.” Ze groused in a croon, still ‘glaring.’ 

-Lord Almighty, please forgive me for these foolish thoughts…her smile makes me feel like I’m glowing…forgive me… 

“Suppozze you should be like him, z’not good to be like me unless it’s in strength. And you should hone that to protect yourself. I won’t be able to.” Ze traced zir fingers over the child’s chubby cheeks, the smiling dimming. “So, you must be strong, little one…For me...” 

Ze arched a pale eyebrow and acted as though ze understood the baby’s little gurgles. “What? You wish to make a deal with me then, mortal child? To be stronger?” 

Ze eyed the little one over, making faces as though to consider it. “I see. That is sound, if I can’t promise you protection in Hell, may as well grant you protection now with strength to do so. But I don’t want your soul so what else have you got for me?” 

Little flailing fists were caught by the demon, as it had been zir intent to take hold of. “I see. Yes. I suppose this will do. The Archangel says you are a little lamb and I do enjoy lamb chops.” And ze pounced and began to gnaw at the baby’s little limbs, making the baby squeal...in delight over the playful gnawing. 

However, this startled Gabriel into action and had him head for the house until he saw zir rear back with a clean face and no wailing child. Only those breathy half-chirping laughs. 

“I’m afraid, that wasn’t enough. I shall need to nibble these chubby little thighs too. For this trade I will gift you speedy little limbs, best to run from potential attackers.” But ze pointed a stern finger at the child who tried to nip that offending digit. “You must promise to run FROM the danger.” And ze attacked once more, making the angel watch on in rapt attention to the squeaking baby and Prince of Hell that was acting in no way like a demon should. He would never admit to witnessing this, even if caught. Never ever. He quietly made his way to the door and let himself in, finding Beelzebub startle and eyes spark. 

The Archangel could tell ze were ready to attack, but eased immediately on seeing it was him, features softening again. 

“You’re back.” Ze looked him over, small lips parting softly, closing the window. Not a scowl in sight. Ghost of that smile still present. “Change so I can dry your clothes and you don’t catch cold. I keep telling you, we’re susceptible to human sickness when Topside.” 

He rushed zir and swept zir up in his embrace and held zir to him. 

“Gabriel! What the-“ 

“Yield, demon. I...I need a minute.” And he was rocking with zir in his arms and grateful that ze weren’t pulling away, despite zir fists clenching his jacket’s fabric. Then the tension in zir relaxed, drawing him closer despite grumbled scolding words. 

“What’re you on about?” 

“I just had a bad feeling recently that I can’t seem to get rid of.” He kept his hands very still. “And the last time we were together with a storm like this...well...I just needed to be sure you’re here and unharmed.” 

He was certain ze must have been just as affected as he was. 

A hand twisted around his long braid, crushing his hair ribbon. Zir sharp chin dug into his chest, over his heart. A sudden startling nip to his chest from that fierce little mouth. But ze buried zir face against him quickly, muffling zir voice. 

“By zuffocating me? You’ve made a mess of me now too, pigeon.” Though ze growled ze didn’t pull away, zir arms locked behind him, holding there for a second before fingers slipping down the plains of his back, stealing away with his hair ribbon. “Ruining your coat. Fabric’z not meant to be zoaked, untreated like thiz.” Ze peered up at him, through messy curls. “Z’what’z new?” 

“Sandalphon’s on a rampage looking for trouble with some of your Earthside subordinates. Wants to know where you are.” 

He felt as much as saw zir body go through a full flinch; disgust, anger, and malice pumped through the air around zir for a few seconds, startling Liatris into their own full-body twitch. He saw fear flash through zir eyes, turning to the baby, and ze dried zir hands on zir skirts and made soothing noises and ran zir hand over them to placate them. 

“He’s over in that Northern Massachusetts area. Nowhere near us.” 

“He can go fu…bugger off.” The demon of Gluttony sniffed, clenching zir eyes shut in anger, then changed focus. “Look what Liatris has been working on. We kept it secret, but I think they’re ready now. Come on, Hellion, show the Archangel.” And ze fit zir fingers in theirs and they pulled with all their baby might til they were upright, and the Prince’s smile remanifested in full with those cheeks as did Liatris’s toothless one. Gabriel felt his heart skip a beat and warmth spread through him. 

“Hey! Lookit you, little lamb! So strong!” And his own smile lit up his face, which Beelzebub only stole a small look at. He brought his hand behind the baby’s head to give support as the demon lowered them. 

“I wish they remained so.” 

“Did they have a fit?” 

“No. But we know…z’matter of time.” 

He took zir hand in his and felt his chest warm when ze looped a finger around his. The Archangel dared to slip the rest between zir own. Both still holding onto Liatris’s tiny fist. The little one gurgled and squealed up at them. 

“We’ll figure it out, dear...” He eyed the baby, face scrunching up in curiosity about the strength they had just displayed. That didn’t seem right. Though he didn’t have nearly as much one-on-one time with other children to know what their developments were like, he had a rough estimate for a nearly one and half month old. “Are they supposed to be this strong so early?” 

Though ze were smiling the Prince was evaluating their little charge’s status, bringing them to the bed and away from the window that started to rattle in a gust of strong wind. “It may be a little soon, but children develop at different rates. I’ve been wondering if it’z a side effect from your angelic essence.” 

“What about your own? Some of your demonic strength could have been gifted to them through your essence.” 

Beelzebub’s form tensed. Zir eyes darkened and zir features became stern, calculating. It was the first time they actually brought it up and zir brow furrowed. And the fact that he wasn’t attacking zir for being a dangerous demon was, as always, very weird and confusing. Ze knew what was supposed to happen. “It may very well be the reason for their zicknezz. Demon ezzenze. Z’not zafe for humanz.” 

“Come now, I don’t think that’s why they're sick, Bee. I do think it might have been what saved-” 

“Zod off with your bizzarre angelic tendenciezz. It’z a high probability.” Ze snarled in frustration, scowl on zir face, storming away. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see or FEEL how they reacted.” Ze turned back arms wide. “My ezzenze, that I have foolizhly uzed, may indeed be the cauze of their illnezzzz. We don’t know enough to dizpute that.” 

Ze ground zir jaw and couldn’t stop a look over at the child on the bed. Secure in their surroundings and blowing spit bubbles, completely content. It didn’t stop zir from going over the very REALISTIC possibilities that zir infernal ‘gift’ could have caused more harm than good in the bab. Curious as to what other issues ze may have caused them. 

-Bee, they’re so observant and strong, so much like you…how can you not see they have benefited? 

He couldn’t resist the feeling that there was more to the baby thing than he could understand, but he also had his own hang-ups. 

“Then, maybe mine is too. Angels and demons weren’t meant to interact with their kind like this. And then the essence of two of the most powerful beings of opposing sides dwelling in one mortal baby could be what’s hurting them.” He got too close for zir liking, making zir turn away again with a grunt. However, Gabriel was slipping his hand back in zir’s, face pressed against zir head. “Stop thinking that you’ve brought them harm.” 

-You are one backwards demon. 

He refused to think on how he was just as contrary. He’d say he was being completely angelic in nature. Caring. Kind. Giving. And then a number of things one should be to a wife, as decreed by the Almighty. Even though he was supposed to be smiting Beelzebub...he was not too keen to. He should have been putting a stop to zir current...scheme. And definitely not crowding zir space to take hold of zir elbow and feel the tremble there, feel how slight ze were. Try to soothe zir frustration. Feel just as so because ze were upset and thinking ze’d caused a human child harm. 

But ze were his wife and he wouldn’t let zir endure any of it alone. He just couldn’t. 

Before he could register, ze spun round and embraced him, burying zir face in his wet chest, arms slipping under the heavy weight of his jacket, fingers winding into the silk shirt. The Prince had been dressed in a rather simple red gown that parted down the center for zir convenience. There was very little flounce to this piece, but the fabric had flowers woven within it in the same red – like a secret – that Gabriel’s own fingers were becoming familiar with, tracing down zir back. The water that had soaked him now seeped through the rest of zir. 

Ze held him there for a while in silence, the pitter of rain drowning out the sound of zir breath til ze calmed. The baby yawning quietly in the background being the only other sound. The Messenger felt bad that he was holding zir tighter and he could feel the heat rise off zir already cold frame, ze had started to shudder. 

“Got me all wet.” Ze sighed, and he could feel zir breath on his neck and he shivered, wetting his lips and feeling heat pool in his gut. “Enough of this. Take it off, Gabriel.” 

Warning bells flared in the Archangel Gabriel’s head. And yet his body seemed to put him on hold. 

And Beelzebub’s hands were sliding between them and over his chest and parting his coat. He couldn’t function to react til his jacket was already down to his elbows, restraining him with its tight cut, and zir hands were unbuttoning his waistcoat, slipping it off next and adding to his makeshift bondage. He couldn’t breathe and felt like he needed to, feeling dizzy. “Bee, I can-” 

“You’re dripping all over.” Ze persisted, already on his shirts and pulling it out from his pants until Gabriel’s hands were firmly planted on zir hips, holding zir there. Just as zir delicate fingertips had grazed the skin beneath he pulled zir closer, his coats still stupidly caught on his frame since he hadn’t let zir go. 

“Bee. Stop.” Beelzebub froze. The Archangel’s forehead was against zir and he was trying to take a very long steady draw of air. He could smell the honey and earthy scent of zir skin. “Please....” 

“Are...are you alright, Love?...” And zir searching cautious eyes were blinking up at him, suddenly extremely timid. Hands stalled with zir knuckles against the base of his ribs. The Prince wasn’t too certain of what was going on anymore. Feeling him pressing against zir, his breath coming out in little puffs against zir face and his hands carefully holding zir made zir feel wobbly. When his darkened lavender eyes opened to zir, pining zir, something within zir core tensed and zir toes curled. Ze felt like ze had suddenly come undone just looking at his stupid rosy-cheeked face so close to zir own. From being so near. His nose bumped against zir and zir hands moved with the swell and contraction of his lungs working within him. 

Slowly, as not to spook zir, he let zir go and the coats slipped to the floor. The Messenger didn’t move any closer, however neither did the Prince move away. Those eyes wouldn’t let zir move. There was a desperation within him that ze felt ze could reach out and touch. Taste. And ze kept fighting that urge to taste it...Ze weren’t supposed to and it still terrified zir. 

“Gabriel?” 

“Bella…can I…I need…please…” 

Another Damning clench between zir legs as ze watched him take zir hands and bring them up to his face and place...slow measured kisses to the palms of each. Then zir wrists. Making barely enough room between them both to do it and his purple eyes never left zir blues. 

The Prince swallowed and felt as ze swayed closer, lips brushing his fingers. But ze were screaming in zir head that this was all wrong. Forbidden! Even as ze leaned closer, feeling like certain parts of zir had become too sensitive. Too warm. Too shocked at zir actions. 

He brought zir hands to his cheeks and he closed his eyes. Beelzebub could not keep zir own composure and let zir nose brush against his again. Shallow breaths and dizzy. Wanting... 

Ze Truly and honestly had never felt things quite like THAT before but this time came a strange glowy feeling with it. Like fireflies... 

Something sounded deep in the darkness of the forest beyond the window, through the rain and thunder, loud enough to make something shift within them both and a dangerous steel flowed through them. But neither gave away a tell, not to anyone else but the one whose eyes they peered into. 

“Damned?” 

“And fallen. Help me take off my petticoat, Love.” And Gabriel slowly slid his large hands between the layers of zir skirts without hesitation or question. He was far too familiar with helping zir dress for it even to be a minor hinderance. Not even with zir lips getting closer. Granted, he wasn’t unaffected by the cooling timbre of zir voice and proximity, zir confident commanding tone, zir steely blue eyes seemingly alight, but he could focus on both. 

His fingers deftly undid the lacings and he pulled open the back roughly, drawing zir to him, letting the petticoat and its black overskirt slip off zir to the floor. The Prince didn’t flinch but a certain part of zir anatomy did. Mocking zir all over again. 

Zir body curved carefully against his and zir hands slipped slowly up his arms, linking around the nape of his neck. 

“Blade’s at the window.” 

Gabriel grabbed zir by the waist, lifted zir, then spun them both round to put Beelzebub on the table with a slight thud and got between zir legs, aligning himself against zir. He leaned close and nuzzled zir jaw, just at the juncture to zir ear whispering the positions of the enemy he could see. Zir breath caught in zir throat and the angel felt how heat pooled between them and a shuddery breath escaped Beelzebub, setting him on fire. He was vaguely aware of a throb that flared at the juncture of zir thighs, recalling how last he felt it when they dueled before the battle at the pass, all those months ago. 

To the Demon Prince this was safe. It was a cover and it insisted on this confusing proximity. It was coated in impending bloodlust and something else... 

Threat was close. However, ze felt safe with Gabriel despite that Damned pulse between zir legs, that NEED, and how for some fucking reason it felt good to have the Archangel pressed so firmly against it again. So much closer this time. It messed zir up good, but the time to think it over wasn’t then. Ze could address that never. 

“They’re getting too close. Think they’ll breach the wards?” He slipped his hands to the small of zir back and felt the slight muscles there, bringing one higher to just beneath zir ribcage, kneading. Zir own hands traveled down his front, clasping his kerchief and slipping it through zir hands. Pulling it tight. 

A breathy whisper escaped zir lips, “Best to assume. Two have slipped up by the door. You’ll take care of them, yeah?” 

“Plan on taking the other four?” 

“Lay me out.” 

He did. 

Letting zir slim frame down carefully and running his hands over zir sides, then down...zir hips to slide over zir thighs... 

Ze pulled him down by his loosened kerchief and ze licked zir lip, eyes focused sharp, something else in his corporation felt a tug with it and he huffed. 

“Give me leverage.” He felt one of zir legs wrap around his waist, feeling the heat intensify between them and he couldn’t stop the twitch of his hips as they were pressed more fully together. His muscles tensed in his gut and thighs when he felt zir hips shift against him and a shiver run through zir. Hands reached above zir head towards the window frame, just bracing zirself and out of reach. 

The sight of zir laying there did nothing to help the heat in his belly and the look in zir eyes of worry was the only thing to keep him focused, not thinking about his wayward dream of a half memory. He did as asked though, palming the arch of zir foot after tracing a path down zir leg, brushing his knuckles over zir as he went. 

“Plan on making an entrance?” He asked as he used his other hand to bring the blade down, discreetly from the windowsill, slipping it into zir waiting hand, brushing fingers over zir wrist. 

“Let me have my fun, Love.” And he couldn’t stop the smile that broke his lips. Even as ze quirked an eyebrow at him. 

“Show me what you think is fun, dear.” And something within the Prince seemed to snap, the moment slowed down. Beelzebub’s breath hitched, zir eyes went wide and muscles tensed up. The Messenger was able to feel everything between them, zir stomach muscles, zir thighs...zir cunt twitch against him...it made the angel have to stifle a grunt. 

A powerful burst of green erupted around them, Liatris started to cry, then a door was being crashed into and Gabriel was helping Beelzebub launch zirself out the window. Ze flipped over and through and Gabriel turned to face the new demon and Damned that burst in. 

They tried to go for the baby, but he got between them and the bed in two quick steps. Smiling his best, ‘this isn’t going to end well for you, which I will very much enjoy’ face, at them. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. My wife gets very angry when even I disturb our baby. Can’t imagine what she’d do to you.” He pursed his lips and shrugged his shoulders, not catching his slip-up. “In fact, I don’t like it when anyone tries to disturb them, either.” 

Gabriel lunged, sword materializing from the ether as he did so, landing a full blow through the first one. The demon. He ignited the sword with Holy energy and tried to make him explode. It had been previously discussed that sending any attackers to Hell wasn’t an option. No one could know of Beelzebub’s actions. 

The second was even less of an issue and the angel decapitated him with ease, still infused with Heavenly energy to dispel him; however, a bit of sludge splattered the baby and the child’s wails got louder, making the celestial rush to them. 

“Oh no!” He tried to coo in his panic, tried to ease them, “Don’t tell mam-...don’t tell our demon-the demon...I’ll fix it.” 

And he wiped the sludge from their face without much fuss and went to check them over. Secretly Hoping Beelzebub was too busy to have heard what he almost referred to zir as. 

He heard a shout outside and went to the window, finding his tiny terror of a wife careening into a fiend. Ze dug zir claws into their waist, flipped zir legs up and latched zir thighs around their neck. Then swung zir torso upwards, cutting a second being’s legs off with zir blade as ze went. They tumbled with zir momentum and thrust zir blade up into the gut of the first. Igniting them in fire that blazed with unHoly light. 

Another swung at zir but the dig was too shallow, nicking zir side as ze swung out of the way. 

A fourth assailant went to strike the Prince, but Gabriel called out to zir, drawing a small blade from the ether to toss and catch them in their back. It was then that Gabriel noticed there were far more than four. Three more piles of the filth of the Truly Dead were already on the ground. 

“Don’t!” And ze were being slashed across the back, but quick to spin round with a kick. The next ze drove back against a tree. They bared their teeth at zir, but Beelzebub was lighting them up with that fire that would eat away at the soul and eviscerate them from existence. Another blade was jabbed into zir back, however, this led to the fire spreading to the one who wielded that blade. 

An arrow sailed through the air and Gabriel felled another that tried to sneak up, Holy energy causing them to explode. Then another that stepped from the shadows. 

“Gabriel!” Beelzebub shouted as ze sprinted to the window, crashing and pushing between two that had realized the baby was within reach, laid out on the table in front of the angel. Ze dragged zir blade against the throat of one before feeling claws dig into zir midsection from the second. A fist from above met that one’s face and they fell, allowing Beelzebub to use infernal energy to incinerate them into oblivion. 

The Archangel reached down and took hold of Beelzebub’s hand, “Another two. Look out.” And ze were using his grip to hoist zir aloft and push off the side of the house, straight at them. Ze spun and landed zir foot in the face of one before crashing. The second grabbed zir by the back of zir gown and pulled zir up but a block of zir blade and a swing up and they perished in Hellfire. The first whom crashed burst in Hellish flames from contact. 

With a lot of piles of Death, the demon was taking in the rest of their surroundings, eyeing the dark as the rain pelted zir. All threats down permanently. Unfortunately, zir clothes seemed to have received a permanent Death too, and the angel could see the large cut going up zir gown and chemise, the second on zir side, knowing the one on zir stomach, red blood mixed with black spatters. The dress without the petticoat should have been dragging on the floor behind zir like a train but it had been shorn shorter. Torn rags in the grass. 

“Bee…you okay?” 

Ze grunted and that was it. Didn’t even look at him. Ze just looked around to ensure all were toasted. 

“You and Liatris?” 

“We’re fine. We’ll have to get you a new gown.” 

“Pigeon, forget about the clothes.” Ze started back for the house, stomping through the grass and glass. The Lord of Hell hadn’t been wearing shoes and cuts pierced zir feet. Gabriel cringed at zir unaddressed habit. “Get the baby’s things together.” 

“Sure thing, dearest. Stop walking over the glass, please?” 

And he watched as ze rolled zir eyes and grunted and made zir way to the window. Ze held out zir hand and he hoisted zir back in with ease. The baby was now fussing in Gabriel’s other arm and Beelzebub looked down at them with concern. They were safe. 

“They muzt have put a mark on me. Caught the baby’s and my zcent when I tried to find help.” Ze cursed under zir breath. 

Focused on the damage his wife had endured Gabriel slung zir over his shoulders and brought zir to the tub, ignoring zir growling remarks. 

“You can be angry at me on the road. Now hush. I have to take care of this before we do anything. You’ve just said they’d be able to track us through scent, and sweetheart, you’re covered in blood.” He huffed, more frustrated seeing a fragment of wood half the size of zir foot embedded in zir ankle. “Bee, you have...really?!” 

“They have a little cut. Did zomeone hurt them?” Zir eyes were too wide and hands slipping off the baby’s gown. 

“No...No, I’m positive no one else touched them but us.” He brushed his hand over the tiny lesion on their tummy after a look at it before turning back to Beelzebub. “Rinse off while I handle this.” 

Ze were already blotting away at the wound at zir side. However, Gabriel was getting more upset looking over the other wounds. 

“No more of this. And don’t try to lie to me. You’re LETTING them hurt you. You promised you wouldn’t-...You’re a more than capable fighter, Bee. You could have destroyed them with ease.” 

And ze were scrutinizing the Archangel and looking him over as he carefully pulled out the rather large shard of wood before rubbing zir foot, healing as he went. 

“It’z to-” 

“No lying. No deflecting. Stop.” And he was pointing his finger at zir before stripping zir of zir ruined knee-high stockings. 

“I needed to draw them out.” 

“It’s unnecessary and now time consuming.” 

“We have a baby to protect, Gabriel.” 

“And they’re dependent on you being well and safe, Bee.” He shook his head, angry. “So, stop. No more of this.” 

“You zhould be-” 

“No. No. I won’t be ‘celebrating’ your injuries or whatever. It’s upsetting and I don’t want you to use yourself as a target for whatever bullshit reason.” This startled the Prince but ze didn’t mock him for cursing. Ze were more shocked that he said such things. “Can you do this? Please?” 

“Mezzenger, you’re being fo-” 

“What happens if I were to get discorporated and can’t heal you?” 

He covered the wound on zir side and continued his work, not missing how the Prince grabbed at his kerchief...then moved that angry little hand to his cheek and caressed it, zir rain dappled fingers creating a trail. It took a few more minutes to heal zir and Beelzebub’s fingers traced his features, distracting him only a little. 

“That won’t happen. I’ll keep you zafe. I promized, not another will harm you.” 

“So stop letting others HURT you!” The baby startled as Beelzebub did and Gabriel ran his hand over his mouth then raked through his loosened hair. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to raise my voice at you. I’m just-” 

“Wouldn’t call that raizing your voicze.” Ze shrugged, forgetting ze were still bleeding all over the place, half dressed in a tub with the baby and an angel at zir feet. Ze felt adrift because Gabriel…was behaving very un-angelic and angelic all at once. Again. “I didn’t mean to cauze more work for you, like thiz.” 

“That’s not the problem.” He frowned and pulled zir close, saying he needed to check zir back was clean of all glass. “I just…I don’t like-“ 

“I’ll try…” 

“...Thank you.” And he was burying his face in zir neck and apologizing that he might hurt zir when he touched the wounds. The baby squawked and Beelzebub huffed trying to push him off. 

“We need to get going.” 

“Quit grumbling then and hold still.” He had finished the heal on zir back, it had been shallow, only fortifying his suspicions, but long. The next thing he knew ze were squirming and huffing. Trying to work around torn fabric ze were pulling at to make wider, while cradling Liatris. 

“Can you wazh my back, angel…I can’t thiz way.” Ze grumbled, exasperated. 

“Turn.” He got fresh water and new cloth and froze for a second. He looked on the still angry looking handprint that he had learned marred the flesh of zir back, peaking clearly through the falling fabric, making his blood freeze. It was bright red still and sat between zir shoulderblades. Something about it unnerved him. It shouldn't still look so newly healed, it didn't look any different than when he spied it on zir after what happened in Italy...

It shouldn’t have been there after all these years...

He swept zir fly-away hair from zir neck and up. “Hold.”

Carefully, he peeled away the layers of zir ruined gown and undergarments and started to rinse away black blood. A great deal of trust was being shown. Exposing zirself to him. Letting him remove more garments from zir form, letting him touch zir and feel zir skin under his fingertips. He wanted to lean forward and press his lips to the crux of zir neck and shoulder. But he wouldn’t. He knew it wouldn’t soothe zir. And now was not the time to continue what had confusingly occurred before the attack... 

“Your Duke, Dagon, gave me something to give you, if I were to ‘run into you.’” 

Beelzebub bit zir lip, stopping short of drawing blood. “They know…” 

“You think that’s why I was tailed? Think they could have placed a demonic tracer on me?” 

“Too obviouz to get trouble returned over.” Ze looked down at the child in zir arm, their bright eyes catching the light and Beelzebub catching the purple glint to them. Ze let them pad at the cloth ze were wiping them down with, trying to ensure no blood was near their mouth. “What’d they give you?” 

And the Archangel was handing over the pages and small pouch, quick to return to his task. 

“What is it?” 

A stone face fell into zir palm, composed of what was considered both feminine and masculine features. Soft eyes and striking nose. Fanged teeth protruding past lips. A strange crown of three stones on the top of its head, with another two spiking out like small antennae. The hair carved to be wings that sat on the fly’s back. 

“One of my followerzzz old protection charmz I made them.” Ze frowned, “For children cloze to Death.” Ze started to get up, panicking. “Meant to try and keep them Earthzzzide.” 

“Bee?” 

“Gabriel, let’z go.” Ze were getting up and furiously stripping off the rest of zir garments, ripping what was left. He held zir still and told the Prince to hold so he can at least clean the rest of zir. “Our wardzz zhouldn’t have been broken through. Zomeone elze knowzzz and got them pazzt.” 

“I know. But if they’re following anyone it’s you. We need to clean you up.” 

“Then go ahead of me. I’ll fin-” 

“Easy, Bee. Ease. Think this through. We’re going. Together. I need to clean you up. Okay?” 

“Gabriel, we don’t have time for thizzz!” 

“We don’t have a choice. And if they were any still nearby, they’d have attacked us by now. We have to get the blood off you now. Okay?” He was keeping zir still by zir arms and bending to zir level, now more than ever. He could feel the panic rolling off zir. “Bee, look at me. We have to keep our control. That’s what will keep Liatris safe. Okay, dearest?” 

And ze stilled. Looking over the room, then nodding. Ze turned to the little being in zir arms and took water to clean them up. The demon had calmed, or at least compartmentalized it. Gabriel watched over zir careful ministrations and tried to think of something to distract. 

“You know, this would have been a massive hit if you ever posed like this for your artists. From before.” And Beelzebub startled and looked up at the Messenger, suddenly aware of zir state of undress and vulnerability. “You and a baby, like this. No injuries or blood, of course. Like those Madonna and child statues. They’re still popular with the church. Would have really caused a lot of ruckus in my Head Office.” 

He turned and started to take down the last of their things that remained out, missing zir expression. 

“Pigeon, you are zo very foolizh.” 

He wasn’t ignoring zir, he was shrugging while laying out a new gown and underclothes and shucking his own shirt to ensure his skin was clean before changing into a new one; he’d only had gotten Beelzebub’s blood on his shirt and not him. “Be pretty diabolically beautiful, in the grand scheme of things. Who knows who you’d sway.” 

However, Gabriel’s intentions to lighten zir sudden drop in mood fell flat. 

Ze had indeed modeled as the Madonna, with a newborn child, as nude as ze were then. Lucifer had liked those particular ones, ze even had found them rather brilliant as Hell’s second in command and least of the pure and Holy. Just another mockery of Mary and the Almighty ze cooked up. 

But with zir current situation, the intentions of zir King with zir body, zir purpose for the Great Plan, zir identity, everything Gabriel shared of zir file, even being once revered as a fertility God, made it more like spit in zir own eye. Disquieting and upsetting and morbidly intentional. Ze felt like a big joke. 

It was all boiling down and scalding zir. 

“It’d be a brilliant idea. Very you.” He smiled, one of those cheesy boyish smiles that would usually make zir roll zir eyes, and lately...secretly keep it. But his ignorant levity made zir recoil and shudder. Zir lip actually trembled and Gabriel’s smile dropped immediately. “Bee, you okay?” 

“Let’zzz not talk about zuch thingz, Love.” And ze were wrapping up Liatris and passing them along, crouching back in the tub to finish washing zirself. “We need to hurry.” 

He quickly got Liatris dressed and tucked away in the sling he put on and came back to zir. Warmed water in a pitcher was brought over to rinse zir down. Ze were hunched over scrubbing zirself raw, eyes unfocused. 

“We’ll zet thiz place ablazze. I’ll make certain it ztayz localized enough and won’t hurt the humanz. Put all the damaged clothes in my bag, itzz zeal zhould keep the zcent hidden, we’ll deal with their dizpozal later.” 

Once clean, ze were stepping out of the tub and instantly wrapped with a cloth. They dressed the demon quickly in a dark purple gown, giving one final check for any loose items, draping a sturdy fabric over the sling to keep the rain from soaking so quickly, and to the door they went. Just as ze stepped out zir heeled foot found an object at their doorstep that felt devoid of energy but felt like an incendiary. Like it was able to easily nullify their boundaries. It was very old, ancient even. Ze could sense it. And what’s more, ze could identify it. It had been Beelzebub’s...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had SOOOO much issue with this chapter. It felt the comfort they were gaining, even after Bee being forced to endure memories of zir usual abuse as ze have nothing else to really stop zir from thinking on it (aside from a baby and talkative husband), that the plot needed to move on. And after being left vulnerable and going out on zir own I knew that would start bring up issue. I gave a little more fluff between the angst and I think it turned out well. 
> 
> The other issue was figuring out valid reasons WHY the barriers would have been compromised, particularly powerful ones put up by these two. It couldn’t be simple. But it couldn’t be too grand. That was the hardest part. 
> 
> And yeah...Gabriel and Bee finally got a little frisky...but it needed balance. 
> 
> The original way this scene started off was Gabriel putting zir on the table when they sensed danger and Bee commenting that zir blade was too obviously in the open and then morphed into a sort of play of ‘pretend’ that was getting out of hand. Not too much, but just enough of sparks that showed their growing comfort and really driving home that attraction that both know they should not have. The first half though, where Gabriel kind of loses his cool over there, begging zir and affecting zir too, had not been planned. And the beginning of it had been slightly altered for smoothness sake. It happened when I joined another pre-written section with it. It turned out a bit more intimate and needy than I had first thought but I actually really liked how it played out. I hope it doesn’t read weird. (Not that these two doofuses aren’t weird but I mean as long as it reads well in the story.) A little bit of consensual sensuality that neither were expecting but shows that they’re getting to a good place, emotionally and physically. Argh! I have re-written that last sentence like 3 times, I hope that sounds coherant. 
> 
> There is some things I'm really hoping people catch in there. Particular words...
> 
> Please, let me know what you think about this. Comments are what makes my day a bit easier and I like to know what you think about the story. Con-crit is appreciated and taken seriously! I try to make it work and be palatable. Kudos are like cookies and I do enjoy them...I can’t lie. Song suggestions are always great too. I’ve been making a playlist, adding what’s been suggested and plan to make a chapter related one (even plan on going back to add it to the end of As the World Falls Down, because I never shared).


	25. Touch & Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub and Gabriel have found a new hideaway to nest about in, ignore issues, and try to tend to a human baby. But when already on high alert, trying to make sense of scraps of clues, how does an angel and a demon deal with the fallout of what they just cornered themselves in with?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Panic attack. Yeah, it’s Bee. 
> 
> These two...yeah...good thing Liatris seems to be the one who can be a good moderator.  
> Also, I don’t know why I wrote this child to ‘squawk’ but I find it hilarious.  
> If I’ve missed any trigger warnings, let me know. I don’t like giving you all those kinds of surprises.  
> This chapter just poured out of my head, I don't know why, but I was done I think the day after I posted but there was just one or two things I really tried to work a certain way. (I'm bad at descriptors sometimes, I'm sorry!)
> 
> Musical suggestion for the first part is Karliene's Feathers and the second part of this chapter is Ruelle's War of Hearts.

The leaders of Heaven and Hell took measures to become lost. 

They moved through two major towns within the same amount of days to try and lose potential trackers. Ensured both their auras were tucked away – Beelzebub having previously learned that Gabriel had just managed to contain his long enough to find zir again, before their current predicament, before he all but succumbed in a giant heap on the floor nearly discorporating – and that no one was injured from place to place. Not a drop of blood was spilled. Liatris was safe in an angel’s arms and fresh flowers wove around the sling’s strap. 

They found a very secluded half destroyed estate and thought would make decent refuge for a spot, if they could find at least one room intact til they would move on to the city. A small hovel was discovered on the grounds, covered under ivy and shielded by a giant white oak and surrounded by flowers perfect for warding off spirits. The small dwellings were meant to be for something Beelzebub asserted was a garden hermit in a bored tone as they surveyed it. Finding it completely vacant but undamaged and only twenty minutes from town, the two agreed it was a more advantageous position and took it over and went about tending to it in wards and essential cleaning. 

It was more spacious than any place they stayed prior and even had a large fireplace next to a generously large tub. The Lord of the Fliers went about clearing out some fallen stonework to fix the fireplace and check its flew. It was cold in the house as the rain hadn’t lifted much in the days they traveled, so ze and the baby needed heat. 

As soon as that was dealt with, they tended to other necessary tasks, dry clean clothes, food for the Prince and then the Prince fed the baby. The little bugger nipped too hard and dug their little fingers into zir breast but the demon simply frowned through it. Even without teeth, gums could hurt the tender flesh of a nipple and the baby was one to gnaw. 

Beelzebub grumbled about never even imagining such a day and dropped zir head against Gabriel, who had been doing his job of holding and healing zir. His cheeky rejoinder made zir nip at his neck and declare, “You wouldn’t understand and wouldn’t very much like it if someone were to bite your tit, so you should shut it.” 

It was the sort of thing an angel should have nothing to say for, however, Beelzebub forgot who ze were talking to. 

“Oh really? Funny. I recall – quite vividly – how it does feel. Enacted by a certain dark-haired demon, about yay tall, who definitely made her mark upon my breast.” He eyed zir, a glint to those purple orbs. Ze grimaced and blushed an awful shade of pink. “Sound familiar? Hhmmm?” 

“You deserved it.” 

“How so?” His Damned smug smile just wouldn’t ease up. 

“You snatched me, threw me in a chair, and pawed at me.” Ze groused. It was not lost on either of them that that very day he had pulled zir into his lap, put his hands all over zir, and ended with one hand right about the same place he had touched zir all those years before. But instead of fighting zir to get zir to listen, he was helping zir. And instead of attacking him, ze were leaning against him. 

“You were drunk and influencing the humans!” He laughed. “Still my job to thwart you.” 

“Wasn’t drunk by half.” Ze snipped, wishing ze were. “Still deserved to be bitten. And I wish I left a mark, you tosser.” 

“Oh, I think you’ve left your mark. Wife and dearest.” 

That flush spread from zir cheeks to other parts of zir body. Parts that usually wouldn’t have been so exposed to view and ze…turned away as best ze could and cleared zir throat and shifted. 

And regardless of Gabriel’s conscious and discipline, the sight of zir like that, feeling zir skin heat up beneath his hand, did nothing for his disposition and his heart. The Archangel had to take some really calming breaths, else he’d really want to make zir blush further. 

They hadn’t spoken about what had happened, not even when they had got their calm back a few days later. But neither did they stop the touching. Nothing too intense. Just hands seeking out their counterpart, a hand combing through someone else’s hair, someone adjusting the other’s garments, pulling the other in tighter as they lay in bed together. 

But sometimes it made Beelzebub twitch and back off. Retreat in on zirself and become eerily quiet, glaring at the pages and charm Dagon had sent. Or, more often, the research ze were listlessly pushing through. 

Or the trinket Beelzebub had found at their doorstep… 

Gabriel would try to let zir have space finding questions got dismissed, it was hard when the fly demon was confined to a single room, on top of that he didn’t want zir to dwell. It was difficult, as he had learned it was important in moments like these to either let zir come to him or find a way to get zir attention with something else completely. Especially after what happened at their last dwellings, he worried how ze’d react to him trying to touch zir when Beelzebub would get like that. 

Beelzebub’s mind was avoiding such thoughts about it. Any time ze thought of how it felt to have Gabriel pull zir close, zir eyes became glued to research and those Damned items. If not for the baby in those hours, Gabriel feared ze wouldn’t speak nor move, lest it was to turn a page. 

Luckily for him, the baby was good at drawing zir back in and pulling the demon out from zir mental confinement, better than his questions. Armed with his secret weapon to thwart his wife’s concentration, he prepared for battling the demon, smiling at his tiny compatriot as the angel adjusted their stockinged feet.

“Bee, dear, come take a look at this.” 

This had been something Gabriel had been working on for a while too. Which he MAY have done a LITTLE influencing to speed up for. Something that he thought was rather adorable and perfect for a little lamb of God being taken care of by the best representatives of Heaven and Hell. 

Ze sighed and hid away the talisman and bracelet within zir gown’s pocket and got to zir feet. Before ze could pad over ze noticed the angel was concealing the baby behind him and ze admonished him for not keeping an eye on them – constantly concerned of potential threat more than the baby rolling over – pushing him away to reveal… 

Liatris. Dressed very similarly to Gabriel in a beautiful satin lavender coat with embroidered white flowers, silk shirt with matching kerchief, and slate grey breeches. It had been made to fit them comfortably. 

Despite being caught in zir gloomy loop, his ploy did the trick, and he could see zir barely fighting a smile. “Gabriel! Where did you even…they’re skin’s too sensitive for these fabrics.” 

But zir smile persisted even after he scoffed and said, “this is the best fabric shipped in from Milan. They’re skin is fine, especially with the ointments you keep putting on their skin.” 

Ze shook zir head at him even as ze ran zir hands over the baby’s clothes. Blooming parsley flowers were stitched in around the edges, the same ze had commanded zir bugs to retrieve to weave into all of Liatris’s traveling gowns. The one to cover the strong scent of Death that had touched the child. The smell that was still present... 

“Showed my tailor the flower you keep collecting to add to their clothes. Thought it appropriate.” 

“You remember?” 

“Bee, you’ve even wove it in their sling, I’m dreaming of it now.” He gave an incredulous smile chancing straightening out the sleeve of zir gown. It had twisted and he swiveled it round and lay his hand flat against the underside, rubbing it. 

“They really shouldn’t wear this for too long. The fabric doesn’t breathe enough.” But ze were inspecting all the cute little details and Liatris was giving zir such sweet smiles and coos. “I’m surprised you fit their measurements so well…they’ll grow out of it soon…” 

And something in zir unwanted heart clenched and ze wondered once more how long they could keep this going. How long could they keep this innocent child alive when they still smelled of Death and were delivered what was essentially a Death notice? Would they be able to grow much more? 

Zir hands began to shake... 

The walls were beginning to close in and zir vision rippled… 

Ze couldn’t breathe… 

“Well, it’s not a waste when they look so cute. And besides, in a way, they are sort of like our own little emissary to the humans. It’s only fitting they look their best, on our behalf-“ Beelzebub was hunched over and choked back a sob. Then several. And clenched zir eyes shut as though in pain. Zir frame locked up and Gabriel’s hands hovered around zir, panicked. “Bee?...” 

Ze jerked away and clasped zir hands to zir head and turned from them, a hand thumped against zir chest and ze tried to suck in a breath. 

“I need to be alone.” Ze growled through clenched teeth. “I need...” 

And then the baby began to cry, but as Beelzebub went to go to their side Gabriel got between them. 

“I’ve got them. Why don’t you go soak? You’re not yourself.” 

“I’ve not BEEN myzzzelf, you-…" Ze withdrew, Shouting. Hissing, eyes wild. “I need to be alone. I need to be alone.” 

“Hey. That’s okay.” He started to walk zir with a strong hand around zir arm towards the partition he had set up the day they got there. Despite how many times he’d seen zir naked, how recently clothing seemed to be an issue for zir, the Archangel had tried to ensure ze had some privacy. 

“Don’t leave Liatris alone! Gabriel!” 

“They’re fine, the-” 

“NO!” Ze wretched away from him and went back to Liatris’s side. 

“Okay. Okay. Bee? We’re not leaving them.” But ze were unable to draw a steady breath and fell to zir knees, which of course would make Gabriel try to scoop zir into his arms. Try. “Look. See? They’re right here, they’re fine. Safe.” He helped zir adjust the child in zir arms, even when ze withdrew again. “Let’s get you into the bath and I’ll take Liatris and you can...be alone.” 

He didn’t dare touch zir more than he needed to, however he wanted to draw zir in and put zir in his lap and hold zir til ze had calmed. Ze were breathing erratically. But everything about zir extreme reaction was telling him that was a BAD idea. And yet... 

“Come here.” He held his arms out to zir and wiggled his fingers. 

“I need to be alone, pigeon.” 

“That’s fine. Just give me a minute then you can have your time alone.” He wiggled his hands again and the look ze gave him was a mix of confusion and incredulity and anger...Fear tucked away behind it. Tears had torn down zir face and ze were taking deep breaths through clenched teeth, zir face scrunched up…until ze scooted closer and turned as ze plopped into his arms; Liatris still cried but was not squished with the way ze landed, zir back against the angel. And Gabriel’s arms enveloped them both and he shifted to make the demon more comfortable. 

Zir fingers that were caressing the crying baby linked with the celestial that held them both. Some time passed and eventually the child calmed from their joint endeavor and the infernal being remembered that they shouldn’t be wearing such things. They were already sweating. 

It took a while more for zir to calm zirself. Allowing it to happen was already too long for zir, but there was no choice Beelzebub couldn’t function. Zir body kept shaking and ze kept trying to swallow all the feelings down. Every now and then ze’d feel the angel’s hand in zir hair, his large hand on zir bare neck, caressing zir…and it affected zir enough to soothe and also make zir want to hiss and recoil. However, eventually ze gave in to the soft touches. Buried zirself against him and submitted. 

“Thezzze...they really are...lovely...” They looked down into the baby’s pale eyes as ze undid the kerchief, sniffling. “And you’re right, the fabric is the best there is to offer. But still, pigeon, your vanity should not extend to the baby. They’ll overheat and not be able to wear it for long.” 

“Hush. It’s pretty and cute and not a waste no matter how short.” He was so happy that Beelzebub was sounding a little more coherent again. Tears and fear were not at all the reaction he wanted to illicit from zir. “It gave work to a human tailor, and the skills of him and his wife flourish through work. And now we’ve got Liatris looking cute and actually kind of funny at the same time.” 

A choked laugh and the coat being thrown in his face ensured that things were going to go in the right direction. 

“Come on! Look at them! They are so tiny! And it’s the tiniest jacket I’ve ever seen! It’s cute, Bee. Admit.” 

And with another strangled chuckle, his infernal wife lifted the little one to see them better. Tiny legs wiggled and kicked and a toothless grin erupted on their face, squeals accompanied. With the pants and shirt and wild child look to their dark hair it really did paint a funny picture to zir. Especially with the snot bubble coming from the small soul’s nose, which made zir throw zir head back onto zir angelic husband’s chest and laugh, grabbing his handkerchief and use it to wipe Liatris’s face down, drawing them back into zir arms and kissing their little face. 

“Fine. However, I will deny it to the End of Times, should you ever dare repeat it.” 

“Who would I tell?” He raised an eyebrow at zir, cocking his head closer and Beelzebub felt zir heart skip a beat. “It’s no one else’s business. Not Heaven’s nor Hell’s.” 

He grabbed a second handkerchief, as Beelzebub was excellent at taking his and using them on the baby, and wiped away the tears that had trailed down zir face, ze didn’t quite jerk away but Gabriel’s hand was already pulling back and he searched zir face for signs it was okay. 

“No one else’s business, but ours. I promise you can rely on me for this.” 

And a delicate hand clapped against his chiseled jaw, then settled there. A soft caress to sooth the not-quite strike. The Archangel let the one he called fiend and wife trace his features down to his lips and touch him there. 

He couldn’t resist taking hold of that offending hand and pressing it more fully against his lips. Kiss the curve of zir wrist. Leaning closer to zir. Seeing zir lips part… 

Then a slam at the window above had them all jump, Liatris squawked. 

The two ethereals were to their feet ready to spring into action, blades drawn and both turned to flint, to find a crow shaking itself cognizant in the grass. Beelzebub braced zir and the baby against the wall and waited for the bird to fly away. It didn’t take long. 

Gabriel’s lavender eyes were ice cold and trailing its path, ready for the slightest supernatural trace of energy to spout but got nothing. He put out his hand for the demon at his side to take and squeezed gently. 

“Your flies, have they picked up anything beyond the perimeter?” 

“Nothing. But familiars can send back information coded to trigger an alarm of sorts when presented with a visual after the fact.” Zir jaw was set and evaluating the likelihood. Who had crows as their own? Under who’s reign did they bow? And yet having opened zir mind to the ethereal world ze sensed nothing from the klutzy corvid. 

A hand traced zir jaw before ze realized what was happening and Gabriel crowded the little Lord of Hell and mini-Hellion against the wall. Planting himself there, leaning against zir only just enough to touch. 

“We’re going to be okay.” 

It had only shocked zir for a second and then zir heart calmed. Ze were safe there. And looking at the being pressed against zir, Beelzebub realized he was completely open to zir. 

It was moments like these that ze saw he was almost completely unguarded. Different than the angel he presented to the world and the Heavenly Host. Ze could feel all the pretense wash away and his fear niggling at zir senses. It was foolish to expose himself like that to one such as zir but… 

Ze tugged on his white kerchief to bend him closer, burrowing up against his neck and feeling his pulse pound against zir lips. His lips were in zir hair and ze could feel the air draw into him, the exhale ruffling curls. A tentative peak and zir Heavenly blues found his lavender gems cast on zir. 

-Why is this all so difficult, Gabriel?... 

Ze cupped his chin and pressed zir forehead back against him, shutting zir eyes. Ze were braced against the wall with one of his arms round zir waist and the other holding himself up. Feeling entangled and that Damned and Blessed unseen tether knot about them. 

“Do you think you’ll be okay here for a bit?” He mumbled against zir. “You won’t go anywhere and be alright?” 

Ze nodded. 

“I’ll go to town and pick up your meal now. After that you can soak on your own for a while. So you can be alone. Just so everything else is taken care of and we won’t be separated in the dark.” 

Ze nodded again. Ze were so fucking exhausted and actually wouldn’t mind throwing all three of them into bed instead, pin the Archangel down with zir form, steal his heat, and go to fucking sleep. Ignore everything else. But Liatris would need to be fed and ze really didn’t have the reserves and hadn’t been feeling much better. Drained and exhausted felt apt. 

“You okay?” 

“We’ve run away with the intended target of the escaped souls of the Damned and gone into hiding. I’ve altered my form, feel like I’ve lost my mind trying to protect this child, and had to listen to an Archangel of the Lord prattle on whilst stuck in confinement. Does it look it, Love?” Ze drawled out, hint of sass to zir words, but did not let him move away. Ze held him and pressed into him. Ze could feel Gabriel smile and giggle against zir skin and hated that so much. Then there was that strange click of his lips, warmth blooming against zir skin where ze felt it. And then he took a deep deep breath and curled further around the two in his arms. Kissing the child’s head and then planting himself to be nose-to-nose with the demon, closing his eyes from zir. 

“If it’s any consolation; I never thought I could be so weary and tired in existence.” A shaky laugh tickled at Beelzebub’s cheek and ze found a chuckle bubble up as zir thumb mapped the curve of his strong cheekbone. 

“Well, Messenger, I have promise of a bed for you on your return. We can curl up and ignore our problems, together.” 

It did nothing to stave off their growing laughter – which caused Liatris to try to mimic their sound and only served to draw theirs out more – the demon felt ragged and could imagine Gabriel felt just as so. 

“Can’t tempt me.” But the quirk of his lips wasn’t smug. Just so very tired looking. “I am about halfway to dragging you to bed with me now for a round.” 

-Oh for fuck’s sake, Gabriel. Why?! After all this time, why do you still sound like this? 

But ze were laughing, “My missions accomplished, then.” 

“Hush. I’m doing the tempting here, demon.” And he got even closer. Lips…pressed against the groove between zir nose and cheek. His large hand now planted in zir curls. 

Ze froze up, eyes wide and heart stopped, feeling as though it had caught in zir throat. And Gabriel was pulling away, eyes cautiously in search for zir. 

“Forgive me…” He straightened up and clamped a hand over his mouth. The demon Prince of Hell felt fucking frozen with zir mouth wired shut and a fire in zir face that ze didn’t think had anything to do with anger. 

And then a little monster made a growl and wobbled upright and latched on to zir jaw. Cavernous little mouth resonating with a dulcet, “ah.” 

...Silence... 

Then a new laugh bubbled up. Soft and a little unhinged and sounding more like a sneeze at first. A free hand went to cradle the little one’s head for support, thumb rubbing their chubby cheek. When ze righted zirself Beelzebub’s eyes were a little incredulous but sparkled on the angel and Gabriel could see that nothing bad was made from that spur of the moment kiss. 

No one blew up, particular ze did not blow up at him. Nor did ze blow him up. That was a good thing. 

“Is that a kiss?” He asked pointing at the baby, smile spreading. Deflecting. 

“The first.” Zir eyes were alight, nervous, radiating warmth to him. 

If Gabriel were to think it over – which he certainly was not – he’d be unable to tell if ze were numb and almost giddy over the baby kiss or one from him. He didn’t think he’d stand a chance, so he let that Hope Die; It wasn’t like that was supposed to be something either would want. Regardless, he let himself bask in that extended warmth… 

“They’re always so messy, aren’t they?” He chuckled, watching Liatris more gnaw than kiss the demon. Beelzebub seemed unfazed and a different kind of warmth spread through the Messenger as he thought about what would happen if maybe he were to nibble on that jaw…where else he could nip at… 

-Gabriel. Not. The. TIME! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! 

The demon watched as he cleared his throat, saw the flush of his cheek and the way he adjusted his waistband. Ze couldn’t stop from biting zir lip and chastised zirself to refocus. Now was certainly not the time to ruminate on…ze needed to be alone! The Prince needed to be alone, now! But ze couldn’t KICK him out and- 

“Go.” Ze sputtered into zir next sentence, correcting any possible misinterpretations. “It’zzz bezzzt…It’s best if you go now and come back. Zo azz to avoid nightfall. We’ll feel more secure I think…so go. And come back.” 

-Fuck me. This is tiring. Wait! NO! Not...oh fuck...WHY?! 

A hand snaked its way into zir’s and squeezed before heading to the door and the owner of that hand was putting on his coat and reaching for his hat. Ze hated how he looked…because ze wanted to run zir hands over the material and feel it all beneath zir fingertips. Run zir fingers through his hair and loosen it to be wild…Take his hat and tell him to… 

-Oh no. Fuck that! Nope! Oh…oh no-Don’t you fucking dare, Beelzebub! 

“Go. Come back.” Ze managed through quick breathy words, an octave too high, intercepting him and putting the hat on his head. Eyeing him like he was a stick of dynamite. Ze tried not to slam the door shut and barricade zirself in, but as soon as the door was closed ze spun around, sagged against it, and sighed. 

The baby squealed their little half laugh at zir and latched on to zir cheek this time. 

“You were put on this Earth to torment me. Weren’t you, little lamb?” But all the fly demon got was a happy little bubbling gurgle and Liatris curled their tiny body up into the crook of zir neck, snuggling a demon. Ze grunted, mentally cursing all the hormones. Every hormone. And cuddled the child closer as ze went about trying to distract zirself, change the baby into a proper baby gown, and refuse to think over what had just transpired. 

********************************* 

He awoke to the sounds of giggling and a gentle voice in his mind – his Lover’s cry replaced by that warming song he knew so well and not at all – feeling someone move about, and finding his wife caressing the child’s head laid out contentedly on his chest. And the baby…suckling on zir nose even though they slept. 

Beelzebub was quietly laughing at the baby’s natural reactions. 

Ze were so wrapped up he didn’t think Beelzebub would notice he was watching. Gabriel actually hoped ze didn’t so that ze wouldn’t stop. 

“Z’funny how a body functionz az zo, even in zleep, don’t you think, Love?” Ze buzzed out, too pale cherubic cheek merry. “It makezz…makes me wonder if it’s a natural reaction or if they dream of eating. Function verzzzuzzzz...oh. Function kontra desire.” 

Ze tilted zir face up to him and he was beside himself with how ze really did seem to light up the darkness with zir smile. He wanted to touch his fingers to those petal pink lips, but he’d squish the sleeping baby. And he was uncertain if it’d be welcome. Luckily for Gabriel, ze took his face in zir hand and brushed zir thumb over his lips. It fed him somehow. 

“If they’re anything like you, probably dreaming of eating.” 

And that brought out another peel of giggles that shook the Prince. Ze tried to stop but Gabriel wasn’t helping by teasing zir and ‘hushing’ zir and giggling himself. He couldn’t help it when ze sounded so happy. Content. 

It translated into every inch of zir sleepy body and that tired ache was the only thing that marred it. 

The next thing he knew were those happy lips being pressed against his own. Chaste and giggling and calling him a fool and it was so very difficult for him not to deepen that kiss. He wanted more but he’d let zir lead. And lead ze did, to the point where ze ‘commanded’ him through chuckles to “Kiss me, Gabriel!” 

It wasn’t a difficult order for him to follow. Slow. Careful. Attentive. Deepening kisses that felt like they weren’t enough and only enough to hold him over til the next time ze’d meet his lips. 

He dared to slip his tongue in zir mouth and ze sighed, welcoming him in, meeting him with a fervor he didn’t think ze would. Zir tiny hand slipped from his face, between the covers, and to his hip. Ze didn’t go further but the feel of his nightshirt being the only thing separating his skin from zir touch created a burst of heat and he felt as his Effort stiffened. He hadn’t meant for it to happen and tried to pull away so as not to press into zir but the demon didn’t shy away. Ze didn’t tug him closer either. Ze didn’t react in anyway different but kept kissing him, leaning against him, changing the kisses from impassioned to chaste again. Comfortable with their bodies being so close like that. It didn’t change his state but it oddly relaxed him. There was comfort laced with this touch. It spurred him to weave his hand that had wrapped zir up into zir crown of hair, feel the softness of zir curls. Bring zir back to him. 

He didn’t understand, as he really had nothing to compare it to, but to him ze tasted how he imagined something sweet must. Sugary sweet and soft. Thoughts sprung to his mind about how ze would taste elsewhere and he couldn’t stop the moan that passed from his lips... 

It had been a while since last they had kissed; these were nothing like the one Gabriel stole after pressing zir against the wall, and never so deeply before. Regardless, these kisses still felt more of a dream at each instance. As though it weren’t real. In a way the Archangel supposed it wasn’t...it wasn’t meant to happen. And yet zir lips returned to his every so often in such a sleepy state. Like a ghost visiting their forgotten Love they couldn’t fully let go of. 

But this time ze had spoken to him. Said more than “our little flower.” Laughed with him. Kissed him til zir petal pink lips became bruised. 

His hand drifted down behind zir back and found the demon’s had moved to meet his, the Messenger locked on it, pinning zir there to keep zir, and deepened their kisses again. And yet, holding onto zir was what kept HIM anchored. Kept his hand at zir back and no further. Kept his hand from wandering as the kiss deepened again. He wouldn’t move more as he was afraid he’d shift to have zir below him. That he’d learn every inch of zir that the demon would afford him, with lips, tongue, and teeth. He WANTED everything ze couldn’t give him and everything he REALLY wasn’t supposed to have. Fully believing that he may have been, as Beelzebub claimed, “mad.” 

So, he settled for deepening kisses, for sleepy looks at him between. For the touch of zir small cold hand on his hip. He felt intoxicated; there was something about all that, kissing happy lips through it, that could not be ignored or shunned…it would devour his rational and command his heart. Create something that should not exist… 

A chaste kiss and a yawn buried into his shoulder and ze returned. Gabriel kissed zir nose, zir uncovered apple-like cheeks, zir chin, zir brow. Anything that he could reach. A soft chuckle and zir hand coming to settle over his mouth had him kissing zir mouth around those dainty fingers. Reaching to claim them. 

In that moment, he felt he was going to miss zir. Because it was fleeting and the moment ze were pulling away was the moment ze would go back to sleep and there was no telling when next ze would come back to him like this. And with everything else going the way it was, he wanted... 

“We should be more mindful of our little flower.” Ze chuckled as ze nodded in the sleeping baby’s direction, tracing his lips as though to memorize them. Somehow, they hadn’t been disturbed. The Prince kissed their little nose a few times, resettling against Gabriel like ze were tucking into a space that felt like only ze could occupy. By his heart. 

“She gave them your eyez. I’m glad for it.” 

“What?” 

“Our little flower. She gave them your eyezzz. Eyes.” 

This startled and confused the Archangel for several reasons. The demon had said “Our little flower,” twice then, and wasn’t freaking out. He dismissed it as zir being more open to it...like a few other things...as ze seemed when like this. But then there was the matter of who ze meant by “She” as it didn’t sound like just anyone and nowhere near disgusted as he knew Beelzebub to be about them. 

Definitely not Liatris’s biological mother. He had seen the woman’s eyes as she lay dead, eyes wide and staring forever in terror. 

Grey. Her eyes had been grey. 

On thinking it over, he had noticed that Liatris’s eyes were looking a little different each day. The hue was not the same he remembered when he first looked into their eyes. He didn’t remember if babies' eyes were supposed to lighten or darken over time but recalling how theirs looked that day he understood how they appeared more purple than grey. 

He wanted to ask Beelzebub, ze clearly knew more about humans and the way their bodies should function, but...ze were asleep again. 

Ze were gone and so was the soothing singing...falling back to a shuddery breath. The unexplainable woe overtook them, and it sunk into the Messenger. With Beelzebub asleep so quickly, only revealed by the little buzzing that he could hear from zir, he could only sink. It was so strange, and it hurt. He couldn’t understand why when ze hadn’t left him and were laying in his arms as ze did. Wild hair splayed around them, having come undone in his grasp. Feeling zir grip on his hand at zir back slackened and how it felt as though ze were gone from him again. 

His heart felt heavy and by the morning, watching zir groan, still bruised lips pouting and mewling before retracting from him completely, he felt a melancholy hit him that he hadn’t known he would ever harbor over a demon. 

Beelzebub was already taking the baby from him and getting them changed. Gabriel swooped in and took hold of zir hands, saying ze were freezing and it might be too cold so early for the baby. Ze let him, and he was planning to go out on a limb with his actions, he needed to know if what happened last night – what had been happening on and off over many – was something that could only exist in the dark of night. 

He wrapped up zir hands – as they were stone cold – and started to massage them, careful and meticulous as he worked over one and switched to the other. Then he brought them to his face and breathed on them, watching how ze’d react, watch as ze would draw away and startle. 

He couldn’t make sense of himself, but Beelzebub was still the bigger contradiction. He couldn’t understand why ze would ask him to kiss zir merrily one minute and then react disturbed the next. He watched zir, stern eyes reviewing every little detail, every minor twitch of zir mouth, but ze gave nothing more. Ze seemed lost. 

“Bee, you okay?” 

“Juszzt waking up, z’all.” Ze huffed. 

He pressed zir knuckles against his lips and nodded, “My wife, the sleepy demon. Belphagor should watch out.” 

But ze looked more like a million miles away. Not even a snarky remark. 

Far but not completely standoffish, even when zir hand slipped out of his and covered his mouth. It didn’t have any of zir usual bite. He thought he could reach zir if he tried. 

“You’re extremely cold right now.” And ze were, it was actually one of those quick concerning extreme drops. “Is it okay if I?...” And he opened his arms and for a few minutes ze looked like ze would back away and go, ze even took a step back, but ze clutched zir head and groaned, the baby squawked and Gabriel pulled zir back into his embrace and walked zir backwards to the bed, pushing zir down and then buried zir in blankets. 

“If you’re not willing to take my warmth, stay there, fiend. Don’t touch the baby when you’re like this. You’d give them frostbite.” He quirked his lips at zir and was unprepared for the hard smack on his ass when he turned his back. His face lit up like a firecracker. Turning round all he saw was a demon on zir back vacantly staring up at the ceiling. The Archangel Gabriel was at a loss for any real answers and had emotional ricochet with what felt like a burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neither of them are very good at addressing their urges are they? But when those lights going down…::wiggles eyebrows:: 
> 
> There are many layers to these little segments. 
> 
> Bee…poor bee is floundering and has a minor melt down. Too nervous. Ze have way too much going on. Concerns ze don’t know how to handle in zir predicament and then also trying to save the baby. Ze also have hormones ze keep having issues handling. Ze will blame those hormones till The End. 
> 
> Gabriel’s not helping that…that celestial…dear someone he is not really afraid of his feelings/HORMONES…and getting bolder with his affections and moves every chance he gets. 
> 
> Like I said before, Bee gives him and inch and he takes that mile but at a sprint. Especially after that last chapter. Whew! Down boy! 
> 
> But circling back…it seems like Bee isn’t entirely capable of control when sleep drunk… 
> 
> ::side eyes the Messenger:: Really, I blame the Archangel fucking Gabriel. 
> 
> I’m also so happy to have found a way to get in that Gabriel managed to dress Liatris up. It was a little idea of fluff but had no purpose, I had debated sharing it as a one off. And then I added like a trucks-worth of turmoil…I’m sorry. I don’t know why I can’t let them have all the nice things. *Ps: King_Evelyn this is not the scene I was talking about thinking of sneaking in (I will note that chapter when it happens). And this isn't the accidental kiss either. But it was molded because of it and made deliberate on Gabriel's part.
> 
> I’m happy I did get to show Gabriel kind of tired. Admitting it. That was good and I think a little forgetful of him but I think it’s because he knows Bee wouldn’t use it against him. They’re in the same position, roughly same rolls even if in opposition, but that’s why (also, you know, I think at this point he has forgotten a few things about who they are...). They’re also in the very same predicament. ‘Tired Parents’ award goes to them. 
> 
> I swear, I’m just a little ball of nerves with each chapter, worrying it’s any good and strangely STILL writing. I do really hope that those who read it do like it, do some conspiracy boards about it, try to unravel my madness. Please let me know what you think, your comments fuel this madness, con-crit is helpful and used, and song suggestions are just fun and go into my little playlist that I write to. (Kudos let me know that you do like it even if you don’t want to comment your thoughts). And speaking of thoughts, I like hearing what’s impacted you in the chapter, things you caught onto, THEORIES about what’s going on. Even things you HOPE or DON’T HOPE will happen. 
> 
> Thank you, time and again, for sticking with me. <3 
> 
> Stay safe. The times are like a steam-roller and I think we need a little help from some ineffable husbands, but maybe we should all just try to be like them and stand up to the big scary monster.
> 
> P.s. the flower Bee has been stitching into Liatris’s clothes is parsley flower. It’s been used to ward off spirits for centuries and the flower is very pretty and looks like fireworks.


	26. Fears & Desires Of Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiously searching for answers Beelzebub forgets zirself, as ze often do, but Gabriel brings it to the forefront of concerns. 
> 
> Something strange is brewing for the demon, and the angel makes their shared situation both easier and more difficult as he pushes Bee a little more both for zir health and against zir comfort’s sake. 
> 
> However, Gabriel has his own issues to walk through...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter did a small number on me. I had written the second half (This chapter is like two and a half parts really) a while ago and didn’t know if it would fit. Just kind of an earworm that needed writing. 
> 
> Once I really tossed it around in my head about why it would be good for this story was in exactly how it was presented and actually managed to tie in better than I had thought it would.
> 
> It’s smut so please be warned but it’s kind of important to pay attention to some of it. I’ve discovered that though I write graphic smut (when consensual/dubiously consented to, as I refuse to go to descriptive with rape though I clicked into a few details at the end of ATWFD and I still feel terrible! I am so sorry! And that scene which had been floating around in my head before I wrote that fic will haunt me for the rest of my life I think.) that I don’t write it without purpose. The other part of it is the fact that when I first wrote this sex scene it was going to be a lot different. It was going to be very consensual and strangely set (you’ll understand why when you get there) but I didn’t know if I had a place for it. Then I found this section and wove the story more into it and well...you’ll see. I don’t like blindsiding people but I don’t want to ruin it. 
> 
> With Before smut scenes from both these two, when they were happy and both angels, I tried to definitely get out the intimacy and love they felt in those moments. The trust. Things like that. 
> 
> This section is different but also important for a few reasons that I hope you pick up on. If you don’t or need to skip, that is totally fine. There is a long first half a “****************” then the smut and then a short second half. That part was added later and sort of important? I’d say half and half. 
> 
> So, reader discretion is advised?... 
> 
> *TW include: an attack, then the smut start out consensual but there are layers and then because of the situation more dubious. 
> 
> I THINK that’s it. Doses of comfort throughout. Because we have an angel who likes to comfort his wife, the big himbo he is. 
> 
> *Small small shout-out to Seekwill, there is a section in here that is definitely inspired by their Beelz and the little world of macabre and inflicting art that they wove.

“Alright, I think that’s enough for now.” 

“I just need a minute.” 

“A minute? Bee, you were at it since this morning before I even got up. The night before, you had it spread all over the bed. Damnit, last night, you didn’t even get in the tub you drew and sat on the edge of it, looking over ONE page.” 

Ze were on the floor now, Liatris in a wrap about zir torso, kneeling amongst notes and documents, skirts puffed about zir form. It was one of the nearly fifty-five days of doing so since finding the tiny baby, and had Beelzebub been human it would make zir seem hyper-fixated and strung out. Ze had done this on and off since the beginning, but lately it seemed more extreme, like ze were in a fugue state trying to find their unsteady unknown. 

Last night, he hadn’t expected zir to be sitting as ze were staring off as he’d mentioned. Beelzebub hadn’t answered when he called to zir, and Gabriel went to check to find zir like so with a drawn out scene of a woman on her knees with what looked like an angel beseeching her in one ear and a demon making her moan up at the Heavens with their hidden hands, influencing her as they whispered salaciously in the other. It was as though Beelzebub were there and not with them. 

It unnerved zir.

Ze had been shivering and naked and Gabriel startled at the sight of zir like so until he realized ze weren’t aware of him. He deposited the baby from his arms to zirs, wrapped zir in a cloth, and dropped some bathing oil from a small vial he picked up at the market into the tub. It made the water smell like lavender and juniper. He all but ordered zir with stern words ze needed to relax and take zir bath and stoked the fire and willed the water to reheat. 

Beelzebub hadn’t noticed til he had put his hands on zir to fold zir arms around Liatris and watched him go through those motions until he collected the child and page ze had been zoned on. He gently nudged zir in the direction of the tub and put the baby in a basket they had earlier stuffed with soft blankets and told zir to watch them for a bit so he could go do something. 

He left them both and went to the garden outside to grow something just for the sake of distracting himself. Anything to bring in and change their makeshift dwellings. Give something to make comfort and redirect zir more often unfocused aloof gaze with something colorful and pretty. 

At first it was purple, then red...then there was an unnatural blue. Lisianthus flowers. He took them all from the Earth and brought them in and wove them above the bed and room. When he went to retrieve the baby, he left some in a pail by the tub for zir. 

And so now, ze had that severe look to zir Heavenly eyes that made them appear as ice, hair falling about zir cherubic face in loose wispy curls and oblivious to the tiny hand entwined in one long escaped tendril, clutched in half-sleep. The pages ze were scrutinizing had markings that appeared as though they had nothing to do with the other, notes on the scenes, documents about rituals crafted by Hell’s agents and some by humans, notes on the rituals they encountered; even sketches of the scenes they found. All scattered around the delicate looking demon. The sigils drawn out large and detailed on their own pages. 

He relearned through watching zir just how thorough and focused ze could be. Always analyzing and searching. In Italy, Gabriel had found it admirable, here he found it concerning. Ze worked furiously to discern anything from those in front of zir. Absent-mindedly stroking Liatris’s back when they made a lot of noises, holding their head close to give support when ze’d lean forward for other notes. 

There were more symbols than what he had been made witness to in a second set, but ze said to ignore them for the time being. 

The Archangel looked down at the sombre looking demon and couldn’t stave off the concern he held for zir. Watching zir scroll out the name of another tome to the list he’d have to retrieve from wherever he could, most likely Aziraphale and his collection of books, see the thousand-mile stare as ze mentally rolled over a piece of information ze could not grapple anything new from, or when ze bit zir lip to the point he’d have to put his fingers on zir mouth to prevent zir from slicing it with zir fierce teeth. That last one would startle zir into looking at him, as though ze forgot he was there and zir face would twitch but ze’d take hold and squeeze his hand. Slight fingers lacing with his brawny ones. 

This had been his third interruption as he sat on the edge of the bed and crossed his arms as he took zir tired frame in, it was closer to noon than mid-morning, by human time. Gabriel couldn’t stop from slipping a hand into zir curls and go to rub zir scalp but ze flinched away, grabbing hold of his offending appendage, and both sighed and Gabriel apologized. 

“Maybe what we remembered at each site holds importance to the symbol?” He asked cautiously, picking up the page marked “Liatris” with a large “?” inked on it. 

“No.” 

“You can’t just say ‘no,’ and dismiss it, Bee. There could be correlation.” He snatched the book that hadn’t left zir hand and held it aloft as ze lunged for it causing Liatris to make a surprised noise and the Prince to ease up and tend to them. “You might not like it but it’s important not to throw out potential leads.” 

Zir glare felt as though it could burn a hole in his pretty thick head. “If that were the case, pigeon, then these symbols would be easily identifiable, specific, which they aren’t. They’re linked only to the pain and confuzzion the zorzzz. witch wants to inflict on us. Hinder us.” 

The frustrated sigh that left Gabriel’s mouth was scrubbed away with a hand and he scrunched his eyes shut. “It could be new symbols. Humans make them all the time.” 

“It’zz nothing more than a ploy to diztract uzzz with memoriez we don’t want. Need. Z’too generalizzzed. Z’unimportant.” 

“We can’t assume.” 

They stared each other down, both equally stubborn. Beelzebub growled out, “Forget them.” 

Zir tone caused the angel’s heart to clench. It frustrated and hurt to hear those words so forcefully clipped out from zir and wonder... 

-What happened to you to make you think it’s worth forgetting?... 

Then the baby startled and pulled hard enough to make the demon groan. In an instance Gabriel was on his knees by zir side and he and Beelzebub worked together to gently untangle the mini-Hellion’s grip. On zir level, the angel saw the demon’s usual pallor was more extreme. Ze radiated both hot and cold somehow, zir ever present dark circles had gotten much darker since they left their first hiding place, and now he could feel ze were clammy. Even zir breathing seemed slightly abnormal. He hadn’t noticed some of it because ze had been brooding on the floor. 

And since the night filled with demanding and learned kisses ze had been slightly more distant during waking hours. 

“Are you feeling okay, dearest? You don’t ever run warm.” 

He touched zir head as ze had done to him before and felt zir skin boiled and ze jerked. It took a moment for zir to ease up and relax again, letting him. 

“You’re burning up. Bee?” 

“I…hadn’t noticed…” 

-Why is that not a lie?! When will you notice? 

And he ran his hand over zir arms and was surprised when zir head crashed against his shoulder. The Prince was submitting. 

“Okay. Let’s…take care of you, then we can get back to the issue.” 

“Z’alright.” Gabriel started to protest, but ze gently covered his mouth. “Sinze we’ve caught on, I’ll be fine…I’m not very good at paying attention when my body iz hu-...like thiz. And I’m not uzed to…thizzz-umph. This, Gabriel.” And when ze chanced a peek up at him and zir gaze bolted away and grunted once more. “Just might need more vitamin D, since we can’t get much natural exposure from the sun.” 

His fingers that were carefully palming around zir neck found zir pulse and found it racing. 

“Bee, your heart is hammering.” 

“If you could, when you head back into town, pick me lavender and chamomile plants and I can brew it in the kettle, it should help…And maybe ask for some oranges?” 

“No problem. Anything else that might?” 

He pulled zir to him and the Messenger was grateful ze weren’t resisting, more like spilling into his lap. There was the slightest of shakes to zir but the baby in zir arms seemed fine. 

“You’re not going to like it, but fish, either salmon or pollock is best but others should be fine enough. And mushrooms. Itz’all high in vitamin D, omega 3, and iron. We need that.” 

He hated the smell of cooked fish in particular but with Beelzebub as ze were he’d get it without hesitation. He buried his lips against zir forehead and nodded. The fact that ze were burning up and also chilled was really unnerving. 

“I’ll get those too.” He saw a paper draw up by the edge of vision and his voice shifted into command mode. “Put it down, demon. No more.” 

“We can’t dally. Liatris’zzz Life izz at ztake.” The Prince was practically vibrating out of zir skin and trying to pull away, eyes worried and not even hiding it. He hushed zir, bonked zir head with his and pressed against zir. Gabriel really wasn’t doing very good with being less handsy as a large hand was splayed about zir thigh, cradling the tiny but terrifying power of Hell in his lap; one that he knew would rather be ripping out someone’s throat than have to wait in uncertainty. He’d had to persuade zir not to talk about what ze planned to do in detail to the culprits one evening a few weeks ago, for Liatris’s sake. 

So ze took to drawing them out from time to time instead. 

Angry gashes over parchment. Graphic. Unnerving and bold and too realistic in ways that pursued the Archangel’s subconscious. It was as though Beelzebub was spilling a nightmare out onto the page – which Gabriel thought was fitting of a demon even if it did make him shiver. 

“And you’ve been trying your best to help them.” 

“What good izz my bezt if they DIE! I can’t break this seal if I don’t know what I'm dealing with and can’t find them!” Ze snapped making Liatris startle and cry. The Prince was quick to apologize and coo at them but ze were so on edge. 

“Stop. Right now. We’ve been over this. You. Are important to their well-being, sunshine. Now add your health to the list. We have no way else of helping them survive without you and if you’re hurt or SICK that affects their safety too.” And that was all it took, zir body deflated in irritated defeat and he hated himself for chastising zir with a responsibility ze had not asked for. His words had been harsh, biting as gruffly as zirs, but his grip was careful about zir body. “You’re so infuriatingly stubborn, Bella.” 

Ze actually bit him, but not very hard, “Demon. Courze I’m infuriating and stubborn. Z’my very nature, you foolizh angel.” 

They sat that way for a while before he felt zir start to fidget. 

“I didn’t mean to...” 

“I know. You have to promise the next time you feel anything wrong that you’ll tell me?” 

“Az I’ve-“ He tried to shush zir and ze pinched his waist, “I can hardly tell the differenzze zometimezz. I’m all wrong, it’z azz I told you.” 

“Well…we’ll work on that. You’re good with me and Liatris, let’s apply that to you too.” 

And it was True, ze had been so careful with ensuring no one had gotten ill. Making sure things were clean and mentioning how human viruses could linger and propagate, so ze would insist that washing surfaces and clothes a certain way was important too, handling and separating outerwear and undergarments accordingly for them all. 

He honestly didn’t know how ze managed going without miracles for so long. 

When he’d return ze’d usually ordered him to wash his hands and face or take his coat and sit him down to discuss what had happened in the outside world and Heaven, wiping his face down with a cloth and listen (and sometimes covering his mouth or throwing it in his face in a huff that wasn’t always so frustrated). He wouldn’t say a word about how he liked it when ze would tend to him, how zir cool fingers felt soothing against his skin. Gabriel had to fight himself to focus on his updates and watch zir stand before him and NOT pull zir into his lap. 

Ze really were careful with trying to ensure no one got sick. Especially as Liatris continued to spike in fever and their near-debilitating unnatural fits. It made the Messenger wonder if maybe zir growing illness was…related… 

They quieted for a while more, something else was eating away at zir and he could just tell, even without looking into zir face. 

“I don’t want theze memoriez, Love.” Ze hushed out. “But I genuinely don’t think they’re relevant to our inveztigation.” 

He kissed zir head again, “I know…But we can’t ignore what’s in front of our faces.” He remembered zir on the battlefield during the Great Rebellion again. Then his Lover content in his arms flit behind his mind’s eye, then it was Beelzebub’s anguished eyes trying to avoid him…then…”You should feel better now.” 

He kissed zir head one last time noticing the leveled difference, but ze didn’t leave. Instead, ze snatched up the secondary stack of papers and held them in his face, second set of tiny fingers reached to grab them. 

“These are from Italy…I don’t know if they’re connected but the situation was similar with hidden sigils marked in paint in the studios. I didn’t touch them though, so we lost out on info. Help me with them, yeah?” 

“The INSTANCE you start to feel too hot or cold and you don’t tell me you aren’t feeling well, I’m confiscating these.” He said as he waved the pages about. “I mean it, I will do whatever it takes.” 

A glare cast up at him and a frustrated “fine” was what he got in return and they settled there on the floor. Gabriel draping a hand over zir waist and ze let it stay, despite all other confusion there was a reliable comfort there, comfort in the way they sat together. The tiny human yawned and curled back up more content than before, fingers in mouth. 

They exchanged information with plans that Gabriel would search out the Italy sigils in Heaven’s archives; Beelzebub needed answers and would use Heaven’s resources if ze needed to. Ze feared any relation but had a sinking feeling... 

They spent near three more hours discussing things, breaking once earlier to feed the baby. Towards the end, Beelzebub skirted the angel’s reasoning over the memories and only got the persistent Messenger to stop when ze pointedly demanded his. 

“You say they could be important. Share? Let’s compare.” 

“…You said the eyes weren’t focused on the symbols in any of the art studios?...” 

-Oookay. Talk about avoiding. The fuck?! 

“Back on the painter or viewer, I suppose. Do you know why your agents on the ground have made no verbal mention of the markings yet?” 

“No. They only repeat that they found the ritual spaces at the midwives.” 

“I told you, they’re withholding information. Either that or they didn’t bother to investigate the bodies.” 

“They wouldn’t. Neither withhold nor neglect. They’re angels.” 

The demon stopped working and chanced critical eyes over the Archangel who had an arm wrapped around THE Prince of Hell with his hand holding onto a squishy chubby foot of a stolen child he essentially lied about. 

-Don’t say what you really want to say. You need him. If he goes, you are not the one who’s going to pay the price. Let the idiot think his kind are perfect…ish. 

“Then your angels are being reticent because they also think the symbols connect to their memories and don’t want to share. Is that a better option?” 

He frowned at zir and looked to the Heavens, trying not to ask for patience. Gritting his perfect teeth and bit out, “of course not.” 

“It’s something to consider.” Ze turned the thought over in zir head. It made enough sense. “There may be other clues to dig up from their writings.” 

“We have the scenes all filed and, as you are aware from what I’ve divulged from briefings, four additional cases had occurred outside our personal scope before we recovered Liatris.” He said shuffling through another thorough write up on Beelzebub’s account in a Maestro Giovanni’s vacant and paranormaly tampered studio. “I can make an inquest with Metatron to miracle the bodies to their pre-decomposed state in Heaven and investigate. What about your side? I don't think they’ll be willing to cooperate.” 

Though ze had been previously informed, hearing the Death toll again was sickening... 

Four Deaths. Four other babies were murdered for their souls, it made zir insides churn. Beelzebub didn’t want to know the True number that they would once info from zir side was corroborated, ze didn’t even want to know that it was seven in total now. How many more had perished because of these bastards? How many were saved because they were able to intervene? Was it enough? What was the number they needed to perform their final ritual, and its goal? Ze held the tiny soul in their care closer but avoided looking down. A hand was covering zir own and slipping large fingers between. Again, ze stole the comfort Gabriel gave. 

The demon thought it over, just as Liatris decided they wanted to try and wiggle around in their wrappings to get in zir face, babble at zir and touch zir cheeks. “Request them from Dagon. That doesn’t work, get Michael to do the request. They’ll get them if it’s coming from her even if not in an official capacity.” 

This earned a curious side-eye and Beelzebub dramatically dropped backwards and sagged and the Archangel scooped zir up. Getting to his feet fairly quickly, making the Demon Prince shout out and baby giggle a loud full giggle. Bubbling and cheerful and sweet. 

The two ethereals froze mid-motion and looked to each other, smiles breaking through in pleased shock. 

A full and True first giggle. 

Baby and wife in arms, Gabriel spun them a little and Beelzebub admonished him, saying the baby might spit up, clutching them close. But ze were laughing anyway. 

Liatris just kept laughing and smiled big at them. 

“Oh, goodness, they have the sweetest little laugh! Have babies always sounded this cute?” 

And the demon cringed through a laugh as Liatris bonked zir in the face with their own, no longer capable of keeping their head up with inertia in play. 

“Down, angel. Z’too much for them.” And he gently put them on the bed, leaning over the Prince to make over-exaggerated kissy noises into the baby’s cheek, only serving more giggles up and an “oi, watch it!” from his wife. He was quick to untie the knot at zir back that kept the wrap and tinier terror secure, rubbing the spot with his thumbs earned a pleased sigh. 

He’d have to remember to ask if ze would like that…later… 

“Let’s break and handle this little Hellion. I think they need attention or who knows what they’ll do. Rebellion could be at hand.” He stood firm above them with his hands on his hips and a dopey know-it-all smirk to his face, making a show of it. He then scoot around to the other side as his infernal wife finally released the baby. Hieronymus was ‘flying’ about in Gabriel’s hand as he commented how silly it was that humans had to lift things to imitate flying, exaggerating crashing down. Only enough to jostle the baby and not allow his full weight to destroy the bed. “I know you have it in you; come’ere and face your foe!” 

“They’re too small, Love, they won’t be able to do that just yet. Can’t quite roll over.” 

“They were able to sit up, they can try, honeybee.” He chuckled, as ze rolled zir eyes and said, “with assistance, birdbrainz.” 

“Oh, if they’re a flower, and you’re a honeybee, what does that make me?” 

“Sei un uccello.” Ze deadpanned without hesitation. 

The Archangel’s face scrunched up, unsurprised, and the demon’s face kept twitching from trying not to smirk, devilish glint befitting someone of zir station in zir eye. 

“You’re awful!” 

“As we’ve established, time and again. I am only the leader of the Damned.” 

“Oh, only the leader of the Damned. Then I, the leader of the Hosts of Heaven, should bring down justice on you for your dirty tricks, foul fiend.” He chuckled and lunged for zir, grabbing zir wrist and pulled zir close and wove fingers in zir hair, avoiding the little one between them. 

Beelzebub’s eyes grew so wide as though they might pop out. Then he bit zir. Right on the neck and just at the level of too much and not enough and ze yelped and flailed in shocked surprise. Gabriel hadn’t expected zir to nearly topple off the bed, making him pull zir close to save zir from falling. 

Liatris was safely ensconced in both their arms and he pulled the Prince close, commanding, “rest. Just a little before I have to go, you feel too warm again...” to the demon and readjusted them all to curl up, not seeing the bright red face that he tucked beneath his chin. 

********************* 

Although Gabriel had been testing boundaries he believed were innocent enough with his infernal wife, never intending to be harmful and backing off the instance ze didn’t seem open to it, the angel was forced into his own alarming situation not even five days later. 

In the dark of the fourth night, the eve before Liatris would make their second month, to be exact. 

Gabriel found himself in a forest glen, the night sky framed by the trees, clouds obscuring, dark, and a clashing of ominous and Peacefulness. They had decided to move. A warm fire crackled somewhere nearby; it wasn’t of concern to him but the absence of those important to him was. But the fire was nice and warm and a comfort. The Archangel felt lost. He was missing Beelzebub and Liatris, gone from his side. Firebugs twinkled in the glen through the trees and his ears focused on what was his lost Love’s song...feeling as though it was hanging in the air. 

It startled Gabriel in his already on edge state. 

Regardless, the voice of his lost little Lover felt as though it was calling him, overpowering his senses and confusing him. 

She was nearby! 

He tried to follow her lilting voice that felt like it was falling out of his head and weaving back in – find her – directing in a way it had never before. But it didn’t lead his gaze to where he Hoped it would. 

Out from the shadows, where the voice stopped Dead, he watched a silent cloaked figure step into the borrowed light of the fire. Pale legs revealed in the light, almost glowing. The petite being was clearly naked under the cape, showing the line of leg going up past their knees and thigh. He felt his breath come in quick. 

Slender limbs slipped out and drew back their hood to reveal Beelzebub, no different than he remembered zir last, Heavenly blue eyes caught in the light and careful, face stern, but becoming softer with each step towards the Messenger. He felt no fear or alarm, not even by the fact that ze were naked and alone. 

Cold hands – as cold as Death – reached out and, at zir touch, revealed he was as bare as ze. A chill ran through him but the urge to hold the Prince and warm zir came to him first. But he waited. 

Ze stepped well within his personal space, hands slipping up over his shoulders and scrapping at the nape of his neck, he leaned into it and felt his limbs betray him as his hands slid between the fabric of zir heavy cloak and over zir trim waist...and one slipped over zir ass. He pulled zir to him and pressed zir flush and felt his rigid length press between them, aching at the feel of zir. 

The Prince’s gaze flicked up to meet his lavender gem-like eyes and he felt his face and chest light up as zir little pink tongue flicked out over zir upper lip. Inviting. 

Beelzebub seemed focused, unfazed, and calm, no sense of distress. And he leaned down to meet zir, crashing against zir, feeling a need and craving well up from zir, ready to devour him. But he wasn’t afraid. 

He wanted this. 

The Archangel was moved to his knees and he kissed patches of skin where his fingers had longed to rove without reason or necessity. He paid special attention to zir hipbones and the plain of skin between each crest, the slight definition of zir stomach; so slight and belying the fierce powers of strength ze held within. He ran his tongue up, ending between zir bosom and bit the base of a breast, earning a soft sigh and ze took hold of his face, thumbs tracing his cheekbones then his jaw. He pressed into that gentle touch. 

A hand cupped zir ass, dug his fingers against zir supple flesh, before slipping down to buckle zir knees and make zir sit in his lap. Bring zir there. But Beelzebub didn’t resist or recoil, ze came willingly. Ze watched him with a gleam to zir eye and pressed zir cunt, already wet, against his cock and slid against his length making him shudder and moan. 

He wanted to feel zir around him. 

Gabriel couldn’t stop himself from grabbing the small of zir back and tease at zir folds with his member and earned a quiet breathy sigh. Ze bit zir lip and rutted against him, pressing zir bust into him. He felt like he was going mad. 

He traveled his hands over zir form, feeling the solidity and suppleness of zir. From thighs to sharp little hips, gripping each curve almost too hard as he moved zir over him again, to taut but soft stomach. Under the swell of zir proud breasts, tracing the shape of them slow and careful, taking his time to know them, and then around zir back. Beelzebub inspected him, intrigued and zir eyes took on a new light before ze placed one. Chaste. Kiss. To his lips. Heavenly blues never leaving lavender orbs. 

Gabriel shifted against zir and Beelzebub’s fierce little mouth gapped in small surrender, slender fingers finding their way between their bodies to grasp him and drag zirself along his throbbing cock. 

Gabriel’s body tensed at the feeling and keened, crashing his head against zir and feeling zir cool breath on his face. 

Ze kissed his eyelids, his cheeks, his forehead, his jaw, anything ze could meet before catching his lips and forcing zir tongue between. Rutting against him as ze invaded his mouth. Sighing, allowing Gabriel to steal zir very breath. 

Beelzebub’s free hand began to trace out his form under sharp nails. Over his broad shoulders, his well-formed pectorals, over a nipple, then further down. Ze swallowed each moan that escaped him, pulling it from him with each long draw of zir hips over him and stroke to his cock. His thighs and abs tensed as he shifted against zir, demanding more with a tense grip on zir back. 

He dug fingers in zir hair and pulled gently, tilting zir face to the sky, to find zir pulse at zir throat and licked at it, clamping his mouth over zir. Hungry to feel how ze Truly felt through that tell-tale pounding. It told on zir lying calm, finding zir heart fluttering about like wings of a butterfly. He thrust up against zir again and earned a moan that escaped zir, betraying zir more fully. And he knew zir eyes that looked to the Heaven’s would have too. 

He took his time and sucked what would be an angry bruise, marking zir just at the soft juncture between jaw and throat. But that only seemed to urge zir on and cause zir to scratch from spine to shoulders, leaving zir own marks as ze rutted with him, breathing though still quiet becoming ragged. He pulled zir as close as he could, feeling untethered by the sound and feel of zir, the pads of his fingers learning the softness of zir lying flesh, and their two energies seemed wild and raging. 

He found himself nudging zir head with his own, refocusing on zir eyes, zir parted lips, the sound of zir breath. But a flint quick shift of zir gaze at him and he tried for zir lips, wanting. It was never enough, and parting only made the wanting stronger. 

A break and a hand pushed him to lay back in the plush grass. Careful. Measured. 

The Prince of Hell made zirself tall, straightening zir back as ze adjusted to take hold of his prick and take it into zir folds and Gabriel forgot that he didn’t need to breath. He felt dizzy watching. The head of it disappeared and then a quarter of his shaft was pushing into zir cunt, and he felt zir buzz around him as ze purred in pained pleasure. Each inch taking more, sending the electric feeling down into him. It felt indescribable to the Messenger. His hands clawed at zir, fingers digging. 

The lower ze sunk on him the more desperate he felt, his hands lashed out to grab at the small of zir back, slip down to zir ass again. Ze felt near unbearably tight as ze finally met the root of his cock, both gasping in unison. 

Gabriel was unprepared for it… 

Zir breathing was labored and he couldn’t keep his own lungs from reacting like so, but he waited. He’d wait for zir to move on him. 

The eyes the Archangel thought belonged in Heaven came crashing down to take him in, making him feel wrecked. Destroyed. Zir mouth agape and he FELT zir want. 

Then ze started to move. 

It was slow at first, grinding against him as ze came down, zir hands on his stomach for balance. And when ze began to move in earnest, small hands moved to his defined hip bones. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to those hands, join them, slip over them, find his fingers on the poesey ring he made promises to zir with and bring it to his lips to kiss. He couldn’t help but feel elation race through him at being with zir like so. Even over the rush of his blood through him, even through the slickened smooth rocking of zir wet heat over his length, and the captivating thrall zir eyes held over him, Gabriel felt an undeniable euphoria laced with the pleasure ze wrought through him. The angel was eager to show how he felt and wished to make the slight demon cry out in more than hushed open-mouthed sighs. He needed to. 

But when he took hold of zir thighs, driving himself up hard into zir, making zir back arch and breasts bounce and jut forward, feeling the friction of every inch of him slipping back into zir fully, he noticed something wrong... 

There were markings on zir, so thin and refined at first he thought it was a trick of the firelight. Then they grew to be dug in crudely. 

The angel looked up to zir, alarmed, but ze were gasping not in pain but from pleasure, zir eyes glued to him. It was this moment that dissonance set in, and he realized he was dreaming. He couldn’t control his body any longer, but could see, feel two conflicting emotions of want and fear. Feel himself move more forcefully against his own commands. 

The image changed to zir being thrown down onto a table, a strange look to zir body and obscured in darkness. Shadows surrounded and ze were being impaled by a blade. No crying out, but gritting zir sharp angry teeth before being stabbed again. Back to zir above him, unafraid and unharmed, but that Damned mark was taking shape and glistening in stayed blood. 

All throughout, his dream morphed between him thrusting up into Beelzebub making zir swallow zir moans to zir trying in vain to fight off shadows, weapons and claws digging into zir from unseen assailants pinning zir down, a hand squeezing zir throat and a cry of a baby in the distance. Zir fighting back with fury and terror in zir eyes. The baby’s wail too familiar. 

But he could not wake up. Could not stop the nightmare. 

Gabriel was drawn back to the field when he felt zir convulse around his length, zir thighs stuttering with zir release and he felt zir toes dig into the ground around his thighs as they curled up. And he followed right after, cumming in zir with a strangled cry of his own; felt as he spilled into zir, all while continuing to grip zir and make zir ride him through each pulse from his cock. Bruising zir powder white flesh in the grip of his hand. 

A sudden shift and he saw zir standing across the room, seemingly safe, head quirked in question at him. Liatris safe in zir arms. 

But then they bled... 

From zir stomach, black ichor shaped that same sigil fully formed on zir abdomen and drenched zir nightgown. 

The baby’s soft tummy bled too, a devastating humanly red color and the shape the same as the Prince’s. He couldn’t move… 

“Gabriel?...Something’zz wrong...” 

And then they burst into flames, flitting between Beelzebub in zir final throes of ecstasy, cast in the firelight, and then fiery devastation. 

The Archangel was up. 

“Bee!” 

Clutching and grasping at his wife and child, neither moved. Them not responding to his calls and shaking sent him over the edge. He had to see they were alright! Had to wake them! Throwing up the baby’s little nightgown and finding unharmed skin and a steadily rising and falling tummy, then, still terrified and getting no response, tearing away their blanket and Prince’s nightgown accidentally open in his wild desperation and finding undamaged and smooth flesh. It was that which finally had Beelzebub up, but not quick enough to stay his large hand that had touched zir now bare thigh to jostle zir as he desperately called zir name. 

“What the HEAVENZZZ, pigeon?!” Ze drew away, feeling confused, alarmed, and violated. 

“You were on fire!” He was frantic and wide-eyed and searching. 

“What?!” 

“You and the baby were on fire! And you were-…" 

He was choking and sweating and not himself, shaking. Running his hand over his face then clasping his hair, lavender eyes too wide. Haunted. He looked as though he’d come apart. Beelzebub had never seen him like that and was immediately worried. Ze took in everything else. The room, the door and windows, the baby, the terrified Archangel, and saw nothing else of concern. He was huffing and crying silently as he held Liatris close, who had only startled and was taking in the world around them as though confused and curious, getting more upset by the second. 

A large hand met the mattress between them to steady the giant being. 

“Gabriel?...” 

Ze tentatively moved closer, needing to know what had happened. Needing to calm him. 

“Are you okay, Bee? You’re feeling okay, right?” 

Beelzebub was even more taken aback than seconds before and zir eyes traveled the room and occupants once more. 

“Yes? Love, look at me.” Ze adjusted zir torn skirts to cover zirself fully and reached for him, eyeing him. The tears were slipping slowly down his cheeks, though he shook, his breath was leveling but ze could smell his fear, it stuck in zir chest. “Tell me what happened.” 

“I dreamt...I dreamt things. You and I were in a field at first. We uh...we were safe...then I saw you getting attacked. Back and forth between safe with me and attacked while alone and I couldn’t stop it. These shadows kept hurting you. It was awful. But then...” He knew he had to be careful. He did NOT want to reveal how he dreamt of sliding into zir, feel zir cunt stretch around him. Feeling zir cum on his cock. It felt too frighteningly real. Like how the witch made his memories feel alive again. “It kept going back and forth between you safe with me and these attacks. And finally, at the end of the dream, I saw you and Liatris, as though you had just woken up. Like you were taking care of them just like any other morning.” He looked down and ran a hand over the baby’s cheek. “There was this weird symbol that started to appear...here...” He ran his hand over Liatris’s tummy, then pointed low at zir abdomen. “…and there, in blood. Cut into you. Then you said something to me, I can’t remember what, and you both burst into flames. I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have touched you...Neither of you woke up when I jumped and shook you and you didn’t react and...” 

“Gabriel...” Ze didn’t know what else to do with a crying angel in zir bed, but awkwardly followed what ze knew he would do. What he had always done for zir. What he would want. And, honestly, what ze felt ze needed at the moment too. Ze shuffled closer to them and went to touch him but he flinched. 

A being as large as Gabriel flinching shook the bed and Beelzebub recoiled again. Zir hands shot away and ze searched his face, bending just a little to put zirself at a disadvantage. He apologized and clenched his eyes shut but Beelzebub waited til he opened his eyes again and moved to him. Touched him as carefully slow as ze could, laying zir hand on his chest and felt him shudder. After a time ze pulled him into zir arms, steadying him. “Come back to us, Love.” 

And like a spell had been broken ze felt the Messenger’s whole body sag against zir. Ze kept going. “You’re safe with me, Love. We’re both here. You’re with us.” 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He tried to pull away and ze didn’t struggle as he put a hand on zir cheek. Letting stillness overtake zir. Watching him fold back into himself slowly. 

“I’ve not been harmed.” Ze brought him close again and dared to rest zir head against his, brushing his hair from his face. He wrapped his free arm around zir and took the time ze granted him. But then... 

“Whoa! Whoa! Bee! You’re bleeding!” 

And ze indeed were, blood from zir had spotted the mattress and nightgown, threading Gabriel’s panic back up. He didn’t touch zir torn gown but took hold of zir arm, carefully steadying zir. The demon could feel his fear hit zir like a bat and how his hand trembled. 

“I’m...” Ze pulled zirself free and went behind the partition to check. “I think...I think I’m alright.” 

Gabriel was on his feet and waiting, holding a curled up Liatris close. “Bee?...please...I know what I’m asking is a lot, but I need to know you’re alright. What’s going on?” 

The way his breath came out a stumbling mess was enough to bring zir back into the room. But ze were further alarmed and confused by zir state. 

Zir body had a longer space between menstruations and always had to recalibrate when Topside, even if ze were uncertain about how zir body would after ze had...and the pain felt different. More like an ache...almost...pleasing...ze weren’t broken inside when ze inspected zirself. And ze didn’t feel that awful torn up feeling ze would when…ze shuddered at the thought… 

The room smelled like it had before sleep. Of the angel, baby, and milk and flowers. But the most cloying scent that overpowered all else was the angel’s fear. And next was blood ze hadn’t registered til after the fact...the two drowned all other smells. 

And ze felt as though ze had had such a pleasant dream…ze couldn’t remember more than comfort and safety and strangely feeling good...Ze had smelled flowers and burning wood... 

“I’m alright, Love. Really. I think...maybe my corporation iz just reacting from being over-taxed. Strezzz. It can induce bleeding sometimes...Or maybe even the hormones produced for breastfeeding, the active oxytocin.” 

He rushed and crushed zir in his arms and held zir, making zir flinch but gave in. It was better than him flinching from zir. Beelzebub’s head crashed with his shoulder. “Not helping, wank-wingz.” Ze grumbled but zir slight arms wrapped around baby and him against zir better judgement and ze scoffed. “I think the real question iz if you’re going to be okay? You’ve...you’ve not ever been like thiz...” 

“I’m not the one who decides to burst into flames.” He brushed zir hair back and let his forehead rest against zir’s. “Please, don’t get any ideas. I’m telling you again, you’re terrifying enough.” 

“Not a flame to lick at me nor Liatris. It wouldn’t dare.” Ze spoke the words in a whisper; frightful, low, and finite, zir nose meeting his. He felt like he was falling and gripped zir tighter. Zir breath on his skin made him shiver. “I’d take it all into me and vanquish it within the cold chambers of my heart. You know this to be True. Be not afraid, Archangel.” 

He was more concerned about what damage ze would take on to stop that flame, rather than anything else. 

“Very funny, fiend.” 

Ze rolled zir eyes and…nudged his nose with zir own, slipping it between the curve between that and cheek and breathed deep, catching the salt of his tears and fear. He trembled and ze held him. 

If someone had ever pointed it out that ze were so close, clinging to zir enemy while decidedly not stabbing him and inhaling the scent of blood leaving the leader of the host’s body, Beelzebub would have gutted the being and pretend it hadn’t happened. No one had to know that ze knew that his cheek was softer than it looked, nor how his breathing sounded calming down, or that his growing facial hair was downy as he had taken to grooming it; and definitely no one else could know how his pulse felt under zir hand or lips. That was for the Prince to know and zir alone. Til The End… 

And anything or anyone that fucking disrupted that pulse really pissed zir off. 

“I have you.” 

“It really was awful, Bee.” 

They stayed like that for as long as he needed, the Prince trying not to count off the minutes it took for him to reorient himself and stop crying. Ze could feel devastation had enveloped the angel and worried. Ze tried to give him his time. 

But ze had to know... 

“Gabriel, what was the symbol you saw? Can you show me?” And ze pulled away, looking deep into his eyes, worry eating away at zir. The baby still needed to be calmed and made a roll of grumbly grunting noises as they tried to move. 

He tried but his head hurt in a flash of blinding light, and he shook his head. “No. I can’t. It’s weird. I remember everything...else...” But he was starting to look uncertain. 

Ze said nothing and took in his completely shaken appearance. Ze would have Loved to mock a crying angel, and one so high, rub their face in their pain and anguish, but instead it unnerved zir. The Demon Prince wasn’t the one dolling out this torment and it secretly frightened zir that Gabriel was so affected. 

-Whatever you saw traumatized you, Love... 

“Let’s leave. Get dressed and we’ll take care of you two, then leave. We’ll be on the road for ten hours til our next mark and make it before dusk if we’re good on time.” 

And the two got their bearings. First the demon had to clean and tend to zirself, then Beelzebub handled Liatris’s care as Gabriel washed up and changed and then Gabriel assisted zir into corsetry and layers of skirts and gown bodice. It was a deep wine, bordering purple, and had gold detail embroidery of flower stalks bundled together, like fans, tied in pretty gold ribbons. The neckline was square all around, and highlighted zir décolletage and even quite a bit of skin at the back of zir neck, trimmed by rectangular cuts of border fabric. 

The beautiful ruffled sleeves were canopied by layers of fabric that fell like ruffled edged flower petal tiers, bordered in gold trim. This gown had to be one of his favorites to the point of distraction. 

The pleats of the back and front were the sharpest Gabriel had ever seen, and accentuated zir small waist, making it impossible for him not to trace every now and then as he skirt his large fingers over zir body. His hands stopping over zir stomach to ensure the demon was unharmed there, palming zir but Beelzebub didn’t move an inch. 

Ze let him take what he needed from zir. It felt like ze could do nothing else and earned that strange but now more satisfying spark from it. Ze felt bewildered at zirself for carefully pressing into those touches he gave, feel as he learned zir a little more. Beelzebub felt compelled to the point ze hadn’t realized ze had leaned back against him and pressed against the lips that met zir ear. A puff of air in zir ear and ze felt zir skin tingle, then he was moving on. 

-What the fuck is wrong with me?! 

Ze could no longer correct zirself so ze drowned zir confusion with actions and turned on the angel. 

He almost hadn’t realized Beelzebub was re-tying his kerchief then running zir dainty fingers down the lengths of his waistcoat, up under his lavender, near blue, long coat. He couldn’t stop the blush when the demon got so close, he could press his forehead against zirs if he only moved a hair closer. He couldn’t stop from clearing his throat as he felt zir run zir hands around his back, find zir Heavenly blue eyes upon him, and adjust fabric to drape properly. Couldn’t stop when ze pushed him round hard enough to adjust the lines of his coat, fingering the embroidered palms and forget-me-nots that sat above the flaps of the jacket. Forgot to breath as ze brushed zir hands across his broad shoulders and then back down to his waist, sticking zir hands in his large pockets, before closing the highly detailed flaps that were trimmed with more vines of gold. 

And he couldn’t stop from pulling zir hands from behind him and drawing zir close. Feeling that zir hands were really so tiny despite the power behind them. 

The Archangel looked down at their joined hands and took note of the poesey ring. It hadn’t left zir finger and had often been something he gravitated to…even in dreams. His finger brushed over it even now and he felt that Damnable cord twang and pull at him. 

“Gabriel…” 

But he easily wrapped zir hands around his waist and felt zir flush at his back. It was strange and ze let him do it…their bizarre closeness. He could feel as the demon took a deep breath in and sighed but couldn’t tell if it was of frustration or nerves. He kept rubbing zir hands clasped around him. “Yield, dear, you’re freezing again and it’s colder today. And if I know you, you’re going to keep checking on Liatris every few minutes.” 

He heard zir grumble under zir breath as ze buried zir face between his shoulder blades and nip him. It made him jump and chuckle and feel more settled, especially when Beelzebub held still long enough for him to be satisfied that ze didn’t feel as cold as Death. And when he turned to face zir, he had a fichu in hand and slipped it around zir shoulders and fastened it with a large circle portrait brooch that had a painted fly on it. It was knocked by zir sigil pendent and he watched as ze somehow attached it to the black velvet choker at zir throat, letting the chain dangle evenly on each side. 

When Gabriel fixed it to lay flat, he noticed that it didn’t look as it had previously. The circular disk in the center, the one that held a pictograph form of a fly with what had looked like a crown for eyes, was missing. When asked, ze fidgeted about and said it had broken when zir King had...punished zir and that ze hadn’t bothered to fix it. 

He’d offered, saying he could on a trip to Heaven, but ze dismissed it and avoided his gaze, clenching zir mouth tight. His persistence earned him a pinch to the hip and ze turned from him to pick up the baby and nibble their cheek before telling the angel not to dawdle and get the sling ready for them. 

He missed the bruise that had bloomed on the side of zir neck, covered by curls falling around it and a baby pressed to zir cheek...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuuuhhhhhhh. Yeah. So that was a thing. I can’t explain myself because there are things at play and I’m just going with how it’s pouring out of my head and maybe panicking as I write them. 
> 
> So, I’ve trailed back to some Italian language and storyline snippets, it fell this way. And with how the first arc went I kind of always wondered if the two would be relatable. This was a surprising turn of events, even for me. 
> 
> I truly hadn’t meant for the two stories to relate so much, but the sort of staged rituals and sigils without connections in a strange set up, then a few of the characters like Brontis from Bee’s little enlightenment group, the bordello mistress’s descendent (whom Bee may or may not have gotten too drunk to remember starting a mini-cult with XD), and then even Luca’s little appearance...there was so much. 
> 
> Bee is being creative and called him a dick in Italian. Uccello means either bird (which ze do fall him pigeon all the time) or can be used as slang for dick, which I think is a hoot. It can still be innocent, but always hilarious because we know what Bee is saying. This way makes it a play on birds and bees too. 
> 
> I just wanted to say that I hadn’t meant for so much to be involved in dressing these two. It seems like a weird kink. Is being so involved in DRESSING someone a kink? Is that a thing? Or is it just foreplay? I don’t know anymore XD 
> 
> But also YOU CAN DISH IT BUT YOU CAN’T HANDLE IT CAN YOU, MESSENGER!!! Because it seems like, though Gabriel has always kind of pushed things when he dresses Bee, it seems like when the tables are turned he kind of...kind of nearly has issues. 
> 
> Honorable mention of the same inability to handle things goes to Bee for when Gabriel took a bite out of zir. But to be fair, that was not QUITE the same as what Bee’s been doing. Goodness, takes a mile, indeed. 
> 
> This is the gown I based Bee’s dress on. But nowhere near as wide. Think that ze are a showy bitch but not a dumb bitch that hampers zir movement and wears a petticoat to travel in and not a monster: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/315814992625358632/ 
> 
> Gabe’s: http://www.matrizpix.dgpc.pt/MatrizPix/Fotografias/FotografiasConsultar.aspx?TIPOPESQ=2&NUMPAG=12®PAG=50&CRITERIO=traje&IDFOTO=31036 
> 
> Similar style of the back when I said ze were fingering the embroidery there: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/417075615464397997/ 
> 
> And...as always, I worry about the smut. This was a precarious moment for so many reasons. It leads to lots of questions for them (and you) and I tried to balance Gabriel’s desires, how he feels about such a realistic moment and being unable to pull himself out of a dream, some consensual issues because I’m sure you can see why, and then the symbol and attacks on Bee. There’s also the fact that Gabriel didn’t tell Bee everything that he dreamt...hard to mention to your significant adversary about (Ps King_Evelyn I didn’t mean to forget to reply to your comment USE THAT ALWAYS!!! I am here for significant adversaries becoming a thing.) The strange setting was the field, in case you're scratching your heads at my earlier note.
> 
> There is also the fact that these two do want something more than just holding of damn hands and I don’t want to keep teasing with smut that’s steeped in some kind of tepid trashfire of malaise. (Yes, Starry, you write turmoil and woe and angst, you arse, now let these two awkward fuckers well........fuck! Just let them fuck! And in peace! Jeez!) 
> 
> I had written that section a while and had known it would be kind of alarming and macabre and it did need tweaking that I think worked REALLY well. I’m praying it’s good and that it’s also making your brain you go “WHAT THE HEAVENS IS GOING ON, STARRY?!” 
> 
> Just...let me know what y’all thought while I go cry in the corner because this fic has spun away from me in the weirdest way. Why did I write the 1700s? Because I liked the clothes and I thought we’d be in quarantine Hell and wouldn’t be running amuk in this country. But oh look, real (continued) turmoil in this country AND this dumb ho had to write about an irate wife and zir sexually frustrated himbo husband suddenly having a baby, sans the fucking. So much unexpected turmoil and I just keep writing that hole deeper. 
> 
> Someone save me from myself. 
> 
> Tell me what you think, as it’s a motivator and I really like to know what you think. Song suggestions are ALWAYS wanted. I have one for this one and will share mine if you share your suggestions (Because I don’t want to sway your thought on it). Con-crit is important to me because I wish to grow as a writer and want to have this story be both palatable and coherent. And I love to hear about the snippets that really struck a chord with you, things that make you go “oooo wait!” and “oh no. Someone smack that himbo/arse/monster for me.” 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me and this monster I’ve created. Stay safe! <3


	27. A Day On The Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Beelzebub have left their last little hideaway and run into a little unexpected attention from a certain Principality and Serpent of Eden, on their way. 
> 
> Though that’s not all these two end up enduring. 
> 
> Gabriel tries to reconcile with what he saw and did in his dreams, thinks over his obligations between Heaven and his small infernal wife, and the difficulties dealing with his attraction to said demon. 
> 
> Beelzebub is facing zir own issues. Zir unexpected morning leaving zir testing boundaries when ze know ze shouldn’t even dare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to King_Evelyn and Ginerva Snape. You kept talking about them, and don’t worry you didn’t force this on me, I just took the idea and went, “this. This will work for the story.” And Everyone can take a small breath at this fluff (lol I am lying. We know I’m lying. I know I’m lying. I don’t know why I try. SMALL SMALL SMALL angsty moments. I promise this one is mostly silly.) 
> 
> TW: I think that Bee’s poor coping mechanism of trying to harm zirself is very hard to notice in there but its there. Nothing else. (Wow...did I hit my head or something?...)
> 
> There is the angst though. I promise I didn’t lose what little I have of my mind. 
> 
> And there is a cake recipe in the bottom notes!

An angelic husband; someone who was supposed to embody everything that was good and holy and Live up to the definition of kindness and grace, and above all care for all fof his mother’s creation, was having a crisis. 

He had fallen in with a demon on what was supposed to be a deal to lay claim to the other as final adversaries with just the tiny advantage of access to the other in the form of a human traditione that wasn’t technically unTrue. He had never lied about being linked and wed to Beelzebub. It did grant him the ability to get to zir and thwart with a simple title that the humans understood meant to clear the way. 

It wasn’t supposed to be for him to actually take care of zir. Or hold zir close. Or heal zir really frustrating wounds and ailments that ze generally ignored in ways that baffled the angel. Or sleep with zir. Or wish for those nights of secret kisses and soft touches... 

Nor to steal a child! Which he’d argue he was not doing at all. 

Definitely not to dream about carnal relations with his demonic counterpart! 

-Absolutely not! What’s wrong with you, you fool?! You’re an Archangel! Act like an Archangel! 

The dream, though there in the back of his mind, was not as difficult to deal with this time as they managed to make the city that he had been traveling into to pick up Beelzebub’s meals. He felt guilty with want but mostly horror. Horror at his actions and being unable to wake up or stop, feeling like he somehow violated the demon even if it was a dream; ze had had no say in it. Then extreme concern for the attacks he’d seen inflicted on zir. All of it...just felt and seemed too real – which only made him touch zir more, check on zir from the corner of his eyes until ze’d give him a look and flick his arm or side before checking on Liatris – but it was the fear of zir finding out everything he had dreamt...That was an unsettling prospect. 

-This is exactly why angels shouldn’t be sleeping. Dreaming can be dangerous. Let the demons sleep and dream. 

The city limits were a welcome distraction for Gabriel. There were so many more people there than usual. It put him on high alert and could sense something similar in the demon. 

And a weird excited aggravation… 

“A festival.” The demon proclaimed as ze took in the colorful banners and stalls with things not usually offered. There were even a few musicians playing somewhere, deeper within. “Haven’t seen one of these in an age.” 

Ze were eyeing everything and Gabriel could see zir lips twist about and zir fingers clench. It surprised the angel when ze laced zir hand with his, grip giving the impression ze were trying to contain zirself. However, the further in they traveled the more frustrated ze became, until they passed a waifish looking woman, with cornflower colored hair. She held out a pretty lace trimmed bonnet that had flowers on it to the Prince. 

“Your baby need a new head covering, Mistress? Would make such a special and pretty baby good protection from the sky’s unforgiving gaze.” 

And with a discerning eye the demon looked over the woman then the garment and saw more to it than simple purple posies. More than the little green flies stitched in with expensive thread, refined and dainty. Something wavering with age and Blessed with Beelzebub’s touch of infernal gifting. 

-Blessit. Another to keep an eye for. You look as silly a frolicsome spoony as your ancestor. 

Ze rumpled the piece in zir slight hand before turning to the angel behind zir to switch out the garment on Liatris’s head of unruly black hair. 

“Pay the woman, dear.” 

“It was meant as a gift for your angel baby!” 

“I see a similar gown. We’ll take that, as well.” Gabriel requested with a smile as he reached into his pocket for a small chained coin purse he had long ago taken to. 

And the woman would only accept payment when the demon intervened and dropped coin onto her table, inspected the little baby gown before tucking it away in the angel’s bag. Then they were off again, the demon pulling the Archangel away to avoid wanting to steal and interact with the outside world any further. It didn’t go well once they made it by the sweets vendor who startled the diminutive demon as he got in zir way with a plate of small cakes of caramelized figs dusted with brown sugar and drizzled in honey. 

The Prince of Gluttony’s stomach rumbled in that same near unGodly way it had the first time Gabriel had learned of Beelzebub’s Love of sweets – the same day he gave zir a ring – and he chuckled. 

“It’z juzt not fuc-umpfh. Blezzzed fair.” Ze stuttered and grumbled, biting zir lip. 

“Your dear wife seems in need of a sweet, good sir. She seems to have a demon in her belly.” 

-You are so very lucky that I must remain hidden and must absolutely NOT murder you. For fuck’s sake, leave my belly alone! 

The child in the angel’s arms growled then gurgled and giggled pleased, making the momentarily startled Messenger and baker chuckle. “Forgive me, I failed to acknowledge the wee demon, spitting image and echoes of her mama. Hello, wee one!” 

And Gabriel guffawed loudly as he went to pay the man, but Beelzebub angrily tugged him away cursing under zir breath and earning a confused look from the angel. “Bella? Why don’t you want some of this particular gro-food? You like it.” 

“Can’t’ave’t.” 

He pulled them to a stop and waved his hands about, as his face did a few twists and turns of his own. It did not help Beelzebub’s demeanor that zir stomach made noises again and Gabriel pointedly looked at zir with his stupid smile affixed back on his face. Liatris made more of their newly learned growling sounds. Beelzebub’s shoulders tried to slump, but proper undergarments made that near impossible. 

-Fucking Heaven blessed stupid stays. Stupid everything! 

“Care to explain why we aren’t buying that human out of his decadent food goods, like you would?” And he tried to fold his arms but remembered growling baby and wrapped his muscular arms around them instead, finding himself under attack. He paid the small Hellion no mind more than another chuckle. 

“Z’unimportant, pigeon. We need to move.” 

Zir stomach growled again and ze grimaced and stared him down, daring him to say anything. However, ze forgot who ze were talking to. 

“Try again, dearest. I know you.” He chanced taking zir by the wrist and rubbed it tenderly, the demon blushed harder than ze could grimace and looked away. He was unaware of the shudder that tumbled through zir gut and also seemed to attack zir knees, at his words “I know you.” And Beelzebub point blank ignored zir thoughts of: 

-WHAT YOU FUCKIN’ ON ABOUT, BEELZEBUB?! 

“Come on. You’re a demon. Shouldn’t you indulge in SOMETHING you enjoy?” 

“Can’t do that if I don’t know how my body will handle it, yeah?” Ze sniped. “It takes a lot of energy to convert things as needed and there is hardly anything usable in cake.” Ze all but growled, then softened with a shudder and grunt as ze saw Gabriel’s face fall. “I’m…concerned that if I can’t properly process it it could cause them harm, Gabriel…juzz’not worth it.” 

He pursed his lips and nodded as he, once again, contemplated how really strange their situation was. Truly. A demon taking pains to ensure the safety and health of a human baby and refusing a minor decadence that aligned with zir Sin, seemed unheard of. Unfair, even. 

“Okay.” He pulled from the nearest table a pair of sunglasses. They were really fancy ones and the seller was clearly there to make coin. And as Beelzebub kept squinting in the light, even under zir wide hat that had a rather fuzzy poof on the top of it with two shiny buttons at the front, Gabriel figured it would be good for their travels to hide zir features more. 

The Messenger was allowed to slip them on zir face and looked on rather pleased. The frames were circular, the glass dark. He didn’t like obscuring zir beautiful eyes, but it did make zir look a bit more imperious. Ze watched him and tilted zir head, not completely displeased even with zir glare. “These make you look ominous and mysterious. Looks good on you.” 

“Strange angel, playing to my vanity.” Ze scoffed. “No sweets.” 

“It’s in no way sweet. Just stating a Truth, dear.” He gave a smug smirk and put zir hand to his lips but stalled recalling a moment in his dream that brought upon him images of a similar gesture while he was buried to the hilt within zir… 

-It was all only a dream. You didn’t hurt her by dreaming of her… 

Gabriel followed through, but only just. Beelzebub had shook zir head and rolled zir eyes, already starting to drag him through the people and stalls, telling him that he “shouldn’t be trying to appease devils.” 

“But this devil is my wife! What am I to do, Bee?” He teased as he laughed at zir half-disgusted grimace that was clearly difficult to maintain. Moreso when Liatris growled and giggled in his arms. “And look, appropriately dubbed little Hellspawn is taking after you! You’re a terrible influence, dear. We need to feed you both or I fear we’ll be in real trouble.” 

The tiny Prince of Hell suddenly turned back and crowded the much larger Archangel’s space. This behavior would have cowed any being who knew zir and knew what ze were capable of. Yet, no one else would ever experience what Gabriel had next. Beelzebub crinkled zir little button nose and zir elven cheeks perked up in a wicked smile, Gabriel’s mind went south. And quickly. Zir words that followed helped nothing. 

“Oh, I will give you trouble, Love. Unlike anything what you could dream of.” 

“I think I can think of a few things...” And, even as he found himself leaning closer and taking in zir visage through veiled eyes, he mentally chastised himself in shouts that maybe only the Almighty could hear but gave no pity for. Beelzebub’s demeanor gave no clue to any that internal ze were berating zirself for zir indecent behavior and then him for zir believing him stupid and saying all the wrong things again, zir wicked little grin did not budge though. The Archangel didn’t either, and eyed the pink tinge to zir cheeks. “Let’s get you something to eat, dear.” 

“We should get on the road soon. I don’t want the baby exposed for long.” 

They found a space with a wall to their back with an elegant fountain and the musicians they heard before them. With all the colors of the festival decorations and the well-dressed people walking about with the scent of flowers in the air the previous night seemed distant. Gabriel tended to the baby, clapping their tiny hands to the music, while Beelzebub ate and then assisted in their now comfortable learned positions while Beelzebub fed Liatris. No one would be any the wiser to look on the three. They appeared just like a family, leaning against the other, taking in the festivities as they tended to their baby... 

However, when a little gassy child had to be dealt with a small unexpected meeting occurred. 

“Gabriel?” A sudden gasp and flash of recognition on both upper beings parts and Beelzebub ducked zir head, thankful ze’d worn the bergere and fichu to help obscure zir features. And now sunglasses too. Gabriel got to his feet and blocked the sight of the diminutive demon and the child they had most definitely been stealing away with. “What brings you here?” 

“Aziraphale! Investigating the rituals.” 

“You were? But why are...” He eyed the Prince who was panicking silently as ze tried to tend to the baby. Gabriel smoothly moved into his line of vision, playing the fact that nothing was wrong with a smile and jumping into a likely explanation. 

“I have reason to believe forces are still focusing on Lifebearers. Those who conceived around a year ago. So, I’ve been questioning unsuspecting new mothers of those born two months ago. That’s all within the timeline of the rituals.” He gave the slightest suggestion of a nod, giving the air that those behind him could be implied. “A Lifebearer and child born two months ago.” 

Not a lie… 

“Would you like me to speak to her? I’m good with the humans.” 

“Pppfff-nah. She’s very skittish. Doesn’t like ang-people. She’ll assume you are a human. I’ve done my best to win her trust.” 

“Yes, well…” Aziraphale puttered out “wonderful” in as best as he angelically could while his mind was flipping over how that was possible that anyone could be won over by Gabriel. “What makes you think she would know anything?” 

At this Gabriel looked back at the tense demon then from side to side before leaning in to whisper in Aziraphale’s ear. He had to throw off the pesky intruder. “There was a dream about the baby being marked like the others Heaven and Hell found. It was confessed. I believe it’s a good lead and maybe I’ll be able to find others with similar dreams if this is True.” 

The Messenger didn’t say WHO had the dream about the baby being marked nor who confessed. He hadn’t lied about a single thing, not even the task of interviewing other mothers who gave birth around the timeline, at Beelzebub’s prior suggestion. But the reason had been to ask about suspicious beings hanging around them or the midwives. 

With the unnerving dream he found it was a good line of questioning. Beelzebub also had had that nightmare about the babies. 

At this Aziraphale’s eyebrows hit the middle of his head and he looked back at what he assumed was a woman-shaped being and his shoulders reached his ears, then leaned forward. It unnerved Gabriel that his subordinate kept trying to peak under zir hat. “Right. Well, then. Have you reported that to Michael or Sandalphon? The baby does smell a bit of the infernal and wrong, someone would know what to do about it.” 

And the angel’s heard Beelzebub gasp as the baby squawked and started to cry; zir body twitched and zir breath stuttered and ze tried to calm the child. 

“Aziraphale.” And Gabriel’s face became drastically unfriendly and his husky voice got lower, alluding to danger. “You’re scaring the human. Now. I have a list again. Can you do your best to get them all? I have a feeling they’re relevant and don’t need Heaven’s best to put fear of the Almighty into someone’s heart until I know if they know anything. Okay?” And he smiled, big and a little too wide in a way that always unnerved Aziraphale. The Archangel tried to distract the soft blonde angel as best he could while shoving the list of tomes the demon had jotted down, into his palm. Folding Aziraphale’s fingers around it a little too forcefully, Gabriel’s next words came out smooth. Leading. “She’s in fear for her baby. You want to ensure the Almighty’s children are protected from the opposition and evil, right?” 

“Of course...” 

“And as this was not deemed a culling from the Almighty, we can’t just let them to suffer, am I right?” 

“Right. Yes.” 

“Help me out with this. That’s a long list and I think it's more your department rather than mine.” He nodded, trying to keep Aziraphale’s eyes on him and received a nod that synchronized with his. 

The shorter angel left the two – as Gabriel kind of pushed him in the opposite direction, watching him go – and Beelzebub stayed far too still. He was on his knees before zir, forgetting that his breeches would get dirt on them, and looked into the petrified face of his counterpart. 

“We’re okay, he’s gone.” 

“They know you’ve found a baby!” 

“Information I had to give up. And only a potential sacrifice, I never said they were in fact one. But the books you asked for, Aziraphale can find them.” 

“He can zzzmell the demonic on the baby! He zzmelled me! He’ll know!” 

“He doesn’t. We’re okay.” 

“We’re not okay, pigeon! He’ll tell!” 

“He won’t. He’ll be too distracted by his human things and looking for the books.” 

But Beelzebub was up and trying to get away, ze had zir head low and Gabriel could see zir free hand in zir skirts and knew it was on zir blade. He got in step with zir and took hold of zir to guide them deep into an alleyway, putting zir back to a wall. The baby was still crying and he tried to get them both to calm down. It took a bit and Beelzebub crashed zir back against the wall a few times before he could stop zir. 

“Easy! Ease, Bee. You’re holding Liatris.” 

The taller being couldn’t help but feel awful. He took zir slender hand and put it over his heart and just let his corporation breathe deep. In and out. He couldn’t think of anything else to do or say. 

With time it seemed to work, and the demon put the child between the two and clung to the Leader of the Host. Ze looked both like ze could cry and so very very furious. Like ze were just containing it. At least they had both managed to calm the baby, who burrowed in Beelzebub’s neck. Gabriel couldn’t help but be amazed that their tiny head could nearly fit in his palm, cover them. 

But the angry pout of his wife was easy to distract and concern him. 

“You okay, Bee?” 

“Let’z go.” Ze minced out before ze pushed away and readjusted the baby before starting out for the street again. “I want to be under cover before midnight.” 

As soon as they made it to the city’s park, that had been curated to be more advanced and spacious with several ponds and pretty with all manners of flowers, Beelzebub stopped short. Ze turned to Gabriel and started to desperately push him in another direction off the walking path towards the trees. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Zhut it, pigeon!” And ze peered over their shoulder and drew the little one closer. “It’z the blezzed zerpant. He’z your brother’z favorite. Can’t touch him.” Ze hissed as ze tried to steal another peak around Gabriel’s bulky arm and slunk back closer to the angel. “Blezzit, he’z coming thiz way.” 

“Trust me?” 

“What?” 

And the angel spun them all round into the nearest tree and the demon’s back hit it with a soft thunk and ze shuddered. Gabriel moved to have his broad form cover them, one hand planted just by zir head, against the tree. A quick and powerful hand very nearly threw him off before he stayed zir, bracing a large hand against zir slight waist and drew zir close. 

Gabriel leaned forward and covered zir cheek with his hand. The next thing the Lord of Hell knew were lips brushing against that cheek and whispering to “stay still, Bella...” 

Ze shivered and felt all sorts of things go on in zir chest cavity and down in zir nether regions that ze were both perturbed by and yet really drawn to act on. Part of that old alarm was going off in the back of zir brain. That this was dangerous and absolutely something ze, above all others, would be forbidden from. From wanting. Lucifer was going to hurt zir, not kill zir, that much ze were certain of. At least, He’d make zir suffer for a very long long time prior to destroying zir. Ze knew...And another part didn’t fucking care about it; the part that had felt bizarrely good that morning and felt that pulsing pleasing ache between zir legs, despite the turmoil ze had been woken up to. The one that ze couldn’t help but be drawn back to the angel’s stupid lips, wanting to meet that which ze shouldn’t. 

The morning Beelzebub was having was not in the slightest okay and ze was ready to Bless and Damn all of it. With the state of zir body, Gabriel’s disturbing dream, the run-in with one of his angels, and now one whom ze suspected was the closest friend to the Demon of the Pit sauntering their way. 

-The fuck are you doing?! This is...this is going to get us right fucked! 

But then they heard a familiar voice. 

“‘Scuse me, fair sir, but I think the mistress and her husband should be given some privacy. Not nice to ogle.” 

“Can’t help spying if they’re snogging in broad daylight, can I? S’indecent.” 

At that Beelzebub chanced a more than worried look at Gabriel and found he was scrutinizing zir. Brow knit and purple eyes seeming to glow from the sun’s reflection from the pond that sliced through the trees. He looked to be fighting with something rolling around in his secretly never vacant head. 

“Well…it’s not a Sin to be in Love and showing it.” 

“Ngk. Suppose not…” 

And it seemed like the Archangel had made a decision. Gabriel brushed his nose tentatively against Beelzebub’s and then leaned in and husked out words that the demon couldn’t comprehend... 

“I don’t want to be a liar...” 

The demon’s breath caught in zir throat. If ze hadn’t become Deathly still, ze would have been able to ask what he meant, but his lips were on zirs, his pressure careful. Tentative. 

He started to pull back, but Beelzebub’s hand latched onto his coat. Zir eyes went wide and ze didn’t know if ze were going to punch him or pull him closer. The Prince of Hell wasn’t certain if ze could work zir body. Ze tugged. Ze had not expected zir corporation to betray zir again as ze closed zir eyes and buzzed against his further intrusion, feeling his tongue in zir mouth. Ze couldn’t hold still for that; ze planned to hit him. 

Instead, ze pulled him nearly flush against zir and met him, feeling like ze both fucked up and terrified how ze were going to fix this and also not giving a blessed care. So confused by zir wants and actions ze moaned in a mix of zir frustrations. Mentally ze cursed; the pleasing pulse between zir legs felt to thrum and the ongoing ache from that morning only intensified and ze wanted to throttle the angel, throw him as far from zir as ze could manage...However...zir body was not functioning as it should and instead stumbled against him. 

The sound of it. That sound from zir frustrated little mouth, pouring into the Messenger’s made him falter too. He was desperate to keep his hands steady and when ze pressed closer, an arm betrayed him and Gabriel wrapped zir up, fingers digging into zir hip and press zir to him. He was the one to bite zir lip and was rewarded with a whimper he had not expected. 

The unplanned kiss grew in intensity that neither had meant. 

Crowley and the waifish descendant of a bordello worker watched as the much taller man-shaped being’s other hand, which had been cupping the smaller being’s cheek and obscuring zir face, started to slip to zir chest and gripped the neckline of zir bodice then further down to pull zir by the pleats to him as he turned them further out of view. They watched as slight fingers slipped between silver hair, messing up it up, and scrapped his scalp. 

Two sets of eyebrows reached the Heavens… 

“Although it seems like they’re working awfully hard on making another baby.” Crowley chuckled, having long realized the tiny cherubic looking mortal leaning against a broad shoulder was looking at him. “Really should get a room.” 

“...Perhaps they should....” 

Crowley had been drawn to the scent of his kind and to an angelic stench. Not essence nor aura, which was confusing. He had worried that perhaps a certain blonde haired Principality had ended up in a worrisome scuffle, as he seemed prone to do. But seeing the well-dressed amorous couple in the park he was curious if it was more of a mixed-up temptation gone haywire. The child that was nibbling on their tiny fingers and completely oblivious to what was going on beside them smelled of both infernal and celestial energies and seemed rather...different than most humans... 

Their assumed parents were really going at it, hands traveling wherever one could get a grasp while lips and tongue worked as though in desperation. The woman-shaped being’s hat had fallen off completely and inelegantly, but neither seemed to care. The wiley snake heard as the well-built being blocking his view gave a rumbling groan that made Crowley jump then make an incredulous laughing snort. He hadn’t been expecting that! If he were human, he would blush at such a scene! (He was definitely blushing.) 

-Maybe someone’s trying to do some tempting while an angel is trying to influence...Don’t know how good that’s going considering the flash bastard’s got his tongue down her throat...The baby’s they make’s certainly cute though...If they made a second maybe they’d be in need of a nanny... 

The mecurial haired being’s hand went low, down the other’s backside then round to zir hip and squeezed, clutching. Crowley could swear the smaller obscured one huffed and mewled out such a weird blend of sounds that the snake demon wanted to know exactly who was the one influenced by the infernal and which the angel. It felt too separate to be focused on one individual. 

He wished he could at least SEE the ones doing the job before him and avoid. He hadn’t meant to stumble into this. 

Taking a gander, as how the one he was unaware was an actual Archangel began to gently sweep his hands over the unknown petite Lord of Hell, ever near so desperate but carefully reverent, he began to suspect the demonic calls of want had targeted the later. 

However, just seconds later, a pale hand was seen to disappear, and Crowley’s keen ear heard the ruffle of fabric and a grunt shot from the mouth of the one in lavender. 

-Well then...May the Almighty weigh your souls how She sees fit. 

And he laughed at his own thoughts and mostly dismissed the two. He wondered what could work up someone else he thought had a particularly pleasing backside. He quickly dismissed that too, as that certain plump individual only ever seemed to kindly tolerate his presence. But oh, how he wondered. 

Feeling diminished, he turned his yellow eyes elsewhere. 

Spying the flapping of tiny fingers around a broad arm, Crowley tried to wave back to the mini-Hellion and made a few faces and was secretly pleased that the baby seemed unafraid and smiled wide and toothless (which he would NEVER admit to being pleased by! Never!). The tiny questionable being was staring at the well-dressed serpent curiously with uncommon purple eyes, it made the snake demon wonder but he was poked in the side by the strange interloper before he could investigate or cause any mischief with a well-placed demonic miracle that could have sent the two off somewhere more private. 

He thought it would’ve certainly done well for his temptations report with such an assist. He figured ol’Beelzebub might get at least some satisfaction on reading of it. But the serpent blessed it all for the interruption, by a human no less. 

“Shove off, sir. They’s having a moment. Off!” And she waved her hands about him and started to follow. 

Never in all of Crowley’s years had he ever been chased away like so by a human, and never one that seemed like she would blow away in the wind. (A lie.) 

“Oi! Off with you! You’re the one being a nuisance!” He tried to make himself larger with his hands thrown up, looking rather like a red panda squaring off, forgetting that’s generally not how to intimidate humans, as he was surprised. The slight human persisted and mimicked his movements while waving her arms while driving the taller being further away. However, none of it mattered. Crowley had a meeting to be off to see his-the certain angel he knew! He couldn’t wait to tell Aziraphale about how Heaven’s side was definitely losing against a temptation and snickered as he made his way to one of the smaller ponds with the ducks. 

With the serpent being chased away the human gave the two a moment before clearing their throat and announcing Crowley gone. “He’s sat by the pond, looks like he’s waiting for someone. It’s best you continue on that way through the glen and then you’ll find a road that goes through the woods, Mistress. It’s a secret. Safe.” 

And she went her way. 

The two broke painfully slowly, as though they had forgotten the Serpent of Eden, the Principality, who side was who’s. As though they forgot one was supposed to cling to the other, much as they were now, but with an ethereally charged weapon imbedded within the chest of the other. As though they were nothing more than what they had presented to the humans instead of opposing forces who took responsibility over a mortal child’s Life… 

Gabriel’s splayed fingers brushed feather-light over zir strangely soft eyelashes, cupped zir cheek, and the rest wove in zir hair. Curls had fallen loose. It was one of those times he found such a healthy flush to zir face and yet it made zir look feverish. 

If he were any other angel and Beelzebub any other demon, he knew he would’ve broken zir far too delicate looking neck and discorporated zir, then and there. Leave zir as any other demon in a pile on the ground and return to his duties. That would have been the end of all that. But the idea upset and scared him, and he reasoned if that was what the Almighty wanted, Gabriel wouldn’t have been doing as he was now. The angel wouldn’t have been allowed to continue this not-quite falsehood and get this close. He wouldn’t be supporting zir in his arms as Beelzebub’s neck exposed further to him when ze tilted zir head back, like ze were trying to come up for air after being tossed in the sea. 

The angel was trying to be delicate, despite his ambling boorish size and usual mannerisms. He knew he had to wait for Beelzebub to collect zirself, he couldn’t do that for zir as ze swayed against him and zir breath came out too loudly and was accompanied by a cute little pleased buzzing whine. It made zir sound frustrated, desperate and helpless, when really he knew Beelzebub could gut him if ze wished. Easily. 

That sound he’d keep locked away... 

And though ze had not opened zir eyes yet, fear starting to emanate from zir strong enough for Gabriel to sense it, he felt zir fight it all back internally. Ze were stopping the swaying, eyes slowly fluttering open to the skies. It was like he was watching zir drag zirself back together, trying to return to some semblance of how ze felt ze should be. 

And to Beelzebub, even when ze felt like ze were fracturing under the pain incurred for zir failures, or errors, or desires of zir King it had never felt as it did then. Ze were used to feeling like ze were cracked open, but not ever like this. 

Ze felt raw, tingly, and bruised all at once. But it was pleasant as well as wretched and Beelzebub couldn’t make sense of it! 

The only thing that kept zir from succumbing was the control ze could muster. 

And, forgetting all the other turmoil, Gabriel found he liked things as they were in that moment. He liked thinking of how ze acted when ze were given or taking back zir control. How soft ze could be with him. How demanding. He also liked it when ze let a little of that control of zirself slip, like he thought ze had done just then. How ze trusted him enough to let that mask fall. But this moment was so drastically different from any other though, More open. Even moreso from... 

-This is not the time nor the place for these thoughts. Not when that’s definitely not the case right now. 

Beelzebub’s body began to tremble and zir body felt like it was radiating heat, it was not of sickness though. Ze were thinking it was from stupidity. A pleasing, rumbling and desperate stupidity that ze had no means to navigate as ze never had to endure it prior to interactions with this stupid Archangel. This was not how ze focused on Lust. Ze Lusted for power and skill, influence, and Gabriel kept messing up zir head. 

It made zir weak. Weak and angry at zirself for letting him make zir undone. Foolish. Wanting... 

A large hand had given zir support round zir waist, wrapped in his arms was enough to keep zir and the baby Beelzebub carried steady. Ze were amazed ze hadn’t dropped or squished them. Ze were so dizzy and felt so very foolish and furious. 

Zir eyes furrowed closed and a lithe disastrous hand was wrinkling up Gabriel’s jacket, keeping him close instead of shoving him away as ze wanted. Needed to push him back. But ze could do nothing but return to him and brace zirself against his stupidly chiseled to be perfect jaw – which ze should’ve been breaking – to rest against it as zir body came down from that high he had inflicted on zir. Ze kept zir eyes shut tight and moaned in frustration, still exhaling loudly through zir nose. 

“I’m sorry...We’re safe, they’re both gone...You okay?” 

And ze still had to keep zir eyes glued shut as ze swayed backwards again, still trying to rework zir breathing. “Doez it look like it’s ‘okay,’ Gabriel? Truly?” Ze got no answer and wouldn’t dare to steal a look, ze felt wrecked and wanted to deny it but couldn’t if ze looked him in the eyes. Ze couldn’t if ze let zir body feel the aches. Couldn’t if ze let the strange kind-hearted worry of his voice touch zir... 

Ze didn’t want to let zirself feel anything... 

-When will you understand that the touch you are supposed to give me would be the kindness of either Holy Fire or Water? You know better, Gabriel. Your touch is only meant to burn... 

Though zir eyes remained closed, zir face turned away, ze STILL could not manage. Turning away was all ze could do. 

Had ze not, he wouldn’t have finally noticed the angry purple bruise high up on zir throat. 

Gabriel dream collided back against him. Fear and confusion ignited in his gut and the angel felt at a loss for mental footing. 

It was on the SAME SIDE he bit zir within the dream. 

He couldn’t reason that it was from when he nipped at zir when he grabbed zir on the bed, when he was trying to feign a fight. That had been on the opposite side! He hadn’t bit zir that hard, either. 

When he had been kissing zir his hand had been just over that mark. 

The paleness of zir complexion only made it seem to glow in the light. Highlight it in stark contrast. The bruise was rather large. Not managing to tuck away mostly below the velvet ribbon and behind zir curly hair that had only just been swept up everywhere else but the wild curls that hung from the sides of zir face. He remembered the feel of zir pulse point below his tongue. How real the beat felt against his mouth before he sunk his teeth into the flesh there...The Archangel knew how hard he bit zir, it would have left a bruise... 

-There is no way...It was only a dream. It was- 

“Z’alright. Z’long as the baby’z zafe.” Ze interrupted his train of thoughts but didn’t derail him entirely. He inspected zir for ANY other signs. There was no way ze could have been marked one way and not in all the others. And he knew far too well now that ze couldn’t heal zirself... 

Ze grunted frustrated and angry and zir face contorted about. And yet ze kept hold of the angel like he were a Lifeline, the pulse ebbing a little and the unseen tether that felt irrevocably knotted to them pulled at the Prince. 

A hiccup and Beelzebub dared, finding the little one trying to reach for a butterfly that had landed on Gabriel’s coat. Zir own issues and inabilities keeping zir from looking up into his troubled face. Then another sweet hiccup and the baby squealed in delight. Another blue winged butterfly landed on Beelzebub’s wrist and the baby swooped between zir and the Messenger for it, making it flutter away and the two higher beings startle as they caught the wobbly daring baby, dispelling almost all tensions with their sweet laugh. The demon mentally ordered the bugs to stay just out of reach, they were a good distraction but wouldn’t put it past the hiccupping child to try to put one in their mouth. 

Ze finally chanced a look at God’s angel and found only more questions and striking unease. He picked up zir hat and tentatively went to fasten it back to zir head, only doing so when ze didn’t pull away. Both guarded.

“I am Truly sorry for doing that without clarifying. I thought...I thou-” 

“It worked, didn’t it? He’s gone. And we should be gone, too.” 

“We should.” 

“Right.” 

“Yes.” 

“Let’s go then.” 

The two just stared at each other for the most awkward of seconds before Beelzebub turned on zir heel and Gabriel stayed planted, watching zir storm off with a hiccupping baby in zir arms. 

“Pigeon, what the Heavens are you doing? Come on.” 

“Sorry, dear.” 

Ze growled as ze turned back and snatched up his hand and started to pull him along the path they had been informed was safe. They eventually got their bearings and found safety in a slightly sleepy town quite a distance away, dancing around all internal issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I semi-promised an accidental kiss to someone and it turned out NOT so accidental! (This sounds bad, I didn’t promise to accidentally kiss ANYONE! And I commit to my kisses, mind you! I’m definitely speaking in story terms.) 
> 
> Also, I caved. It’s not anyone here that persuaded me, its me. I’m weak. You only commented wishes. This was totally not going to be written. There was going to be no clear husbands episode but I caved because these two needed fluff and the other two needed some writing in. I had to make it functional to the story though. I found it interesting how they both snuck into though. With Aziraphale and duty and how Gabriel talked his way around it. Then Crowley...and uuuuhhhh Gabriel...um...I know that the last section was dubious and my heart is still hammering and it seems like Gabriel’s taking more and Beelzebub’s confusion is probably also confusing you, but I promise there are reasons. REASONS I TELL YOU! There is intent and I feel like it fleshes that out a bit better (though you may be thinking that I’m wrong and that you’re more confused. My intent. A little. A lot. I’m sorry.). It’s more than just the difference between late night kisses and then sudden kisses in the light of day and the strange afterglow Bee has without understanding why they feel that way. 
> 
> So much with so much reasons. I CAN’T TELL YOU ALL YET! 
> 
> And that kiss was unlike any prior.................. 
> 
> Gosh I’m dying. 
> 
> Anywho. I also wanted to say that I thought it funny how Crowley is like...’well this is awkward but hey, they make cute kids, I could stand to play Nanny again. And lol some angel is failing here.’ Without realizing that one, the angel’s not failing anything and b, that his boss is really the one failing. I’m sorry, I’ll go to my room now. 
> 
> BUT I will continue that what really got this POINTLESS chapter going was I thought that at least Crowley would catch them kissing and the sentence “they’re definitely working hard on trying to make another baby...” popped out of my head. I couldn’t NOT use it. And because I felt I couldn’t make it so that Aziraphale wouldn’t recognize the lumberjack sized Gabriel I removed him from that section and gave him a plot moving one. Storyline angst (led by our ever sweet Aziraphale) and sexual angst (with absolutely NO actual temptations worked besides funny lines said by our secretly lovesick Crowley). 
> 
> If you haven’t taken a look at how Red Panda’s try to look more formidable to scare off potential attack, I suggest you look at this: 
> 
> https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/hwi6zq/if_cornered_red_panda_will_stand_on_its_hind_legs/ 
> 
> It’s Crowley. I’m sorry. You can’t change my mind. 
> 
> Also, I know some things seem weird with Liatris, like their eyes, their strength, and I never explained their general size as a TWO MONTH OLD, but they’re roughly the size of a small two month old. But the strength and awareness are the unnatural bits. I wish I could draw better, and it wouldn’t take like years because I would love to draw a family portrait of the three. Because 1) CUTE and B) because it would help to show what they would look like. 
> 
> And, if you’ve noticed, whenever there are intimate moments of kisses and sex it’s always from Gabriel’s perspective. It’s always been for a reason. And now, you see it from Bee’s too. 
> 
> This chapter wrote out FAST but then I realized you can’t snog a demon with a hickey on zir neck without noticing it. 
> 
> Regardless, I hope it was a LITTLE TEENY TINY FUNNY? Because hormones. Poor Bee being exactly “Oh no! What the hell? And yet somehow I need to keep KISSING THE BASTARD? Why can’t I stop myself?!” 
> 
> Comments are so welcome. I like hearing your thoughts on the story/chapter. I always get back to them, no matter how small. They’re important to me. CONCRIT is critically important so I can try to make a more palatable interesting COHERANT story. Music suggestions are appreciated. I’m going to write up a list eventually of mine (and then suggested and by who) going chapter by chapter. I just like to listen to music while I write. It fuels me. 
> 
> So do kudos...Please...Thank you always! 
> 
> Stay safe! 
> 
> P.S. Here’s a similar cake recipe I wanted to share. I’ve kind of always loved figs (and other fruits) but I never realized how often I’d go back to them in this story. Also, cakes have been around since the pharaohs. Humanity has been baking them since forever. Fig and honey has also been very big since then, but I lost the older recipe, this looks like a good substitute similar to what I know. You can go sans the cream cheese frosting as I usually do and go to town on the honey and trade out the pistachios for brown sugar crumble. 
> 
> https://www.thelittleepicurean.com/2015/08/honey-earl-grey-fig-cake.html


	28. Nerves, Wrecks, & Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub has nowhere to go to avoid dealing with zir reactions to the kiss in the park. Ze can’t help but think on ALL the issues that arise with it. Feeling lost and desolate. 
> 
> Gabriel, on the other hand, is too preoccupied with Beelzebub’s change of moods and then zir spells of illness. Too distracted by that to think more on what he had seen in his dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: A is for Anxiety, B is for Beelzebub is not in a good space and is breaking, and blood. Some blood. Then some sexual content down in the middle. 
> 
> THIS CHAPTER WAS HARD! I wrote two a few scenarios because I had a different set up for what was supposed to be this next chapter but since I just HAD to try and be funny and have them do ::gestures to the aggressive kissing:: all that, I set myself in an awkward position. Beelzebub wouldn’t have simply HANDLED being kissed! And out in the open. They are both in a different headspace than when they first started out, true, but there are things and rules. And I made them break them. XD 
> 
> But I think I rebounded with something that makes sense to the story. There is some playfulness, strange playfulness, because let’s not forget what kind of an arsehole I am and how I write. I’m sorry. 
> 
> I did look all over for a book from the 1600s-1700s for this and was only disappointed I did not remember its publication dates. Even though I stretch some real timeline continuity stuff.

After their unexpected kiss in the park, things got even weirder for the two. If that were possible for an angel and a demon residing and caring for a human baby together. 

At their most recent secret hiding place, Beelzebub would sometimes look as though ze were between confused fury, quietly contained – physically keeping as far away from the Messenger as possible – or a quiet need to be close in a strange way that Gabriel wanted to fulfill to the best of his abilities but was always uncertain of the best course of action. 

When ze would look so confused, ze’d start to behave like a caged animal, analyzing Gabriel’s every gesture; the surface could break… 

Ze kept thinking of that kiss... 

How he tasted on zir tongue as he invaded zir mouth. How the scent of his skin filled zir nose and the brush of his facial hair rasped against zir skin. He smelled of lavender and honeysuckle and tasted as though he had been infused with those flowers. Bitter and sweet. How far he had to bend to meet zir wanting mouth. The feel of his warm hands gliding over and pressing into zir body, part in a desperate dance and part with something careful that Beelzebub wouldn’t permit zirself to try to identify. 

And the fact that the demon found zir body so responsive, moving into it, demanding of his claims and actions, had zir overwhelmed. It wasn’t supposed to happen and yet it had, all under the light of day, for all to see. Any being from Heaven to Hell could... 

It was dangerous... 

Ze were smart enough to know how bad that was. Not the good bad, not where it should lead; to acquiring newly Fallen angels or getting a top dog of Heaven to bend to zir will. No. This was the kind of bad that Beelzebub could believe, in part, caused zir entire being to want to discard Heaven, Before. That nagging foolishness and betrayal...The unsurfaced memories brought the ghosts of emotions that had revealed with it damage it had wrote into zir. 

It made zir feel worthless in Gabriel’s arms. 

And yet, ze found zirself wanting…and couldn’t stand zir pathetic state. 

Nevermind what Lucifer was going to do to zir! Ze expected and were willing to fall before zir King to accept the punishment. It was the only thing that made sense to zir and Beelzebub was aware that ze had spectacularly fucked up. The ideals that zir kind were built to suffer with their stupidity churned up. Ze weren’t supposed to fucking FEEL...whatever it was ze had been feeling, starting on principle. Next on who ze had formed zirself into being. Ze had been adamant to dull zirself and forget all that had been, and instead ze had...Ze reviled zirself and this unrecognizable tenderness that ze had only ever before received in name with bruising unTruths. 

The Archangel had gotten zir to become reacquainted with an unknown touch of the original meaning, with ease and yet not once caused zir the kind of harm ze were familiar with. 

It left zir feeling untethered, defensive and defenseless...waiting for the blow... 

It was a tug of War within zir to even look at Gabriel, which he became careful of his necessary interactions with zir. Something difficult to do in close quarters and with such stressful requirements, where the baby was involved. The instance Liatris seemed about ready for another feeding, when Beelzebub was more withdrawn, the angel would initiate things a bit differently than usual. Asking what ze needed, offering his hands to zir instead of pulling zir close, distract zir with the baby. 

Only small touches would be permissible then. Non-confrontational and on zir terms. 

Ones where Gabriel would offer and wait. No staring. If he did, ze would look like ze were being tracked and clench zir long fingers before accepting it. One time, ze did so so tightly, ze bled and got a finger stuck in the muscle of zir palm...Gabriel was at a loss as to what to do but put Liatris down, get zir to sit with them, and put himself on his knees before zir to heal the injury. 

Without cleaning up the mess, he planted zir hand on his chest and let zir feel his pulse. The Messenger was certain ze could hear it, pounding in his own ears in worry, but he had noticed feeling it beneath zir palm seemed to always ease Beelzebub. 

Then sleeping had become an awkward affair. The demon would often fidget about the room, checking on things. Try to read until Gabriel would intervene and trade off book for baby, who Beelzebub knew well enough had no ability to be involved in a complex mutiny to know to cry and become needy and clingy enough to make zir accept. The baby did the trick though, every time. And ze would pace the room with Liatris in arm. 

It was nights like that that the musical angel would sing softly to the two, citing that it helped calm the baby. Beelzebub would eventually relax and make it into bed with them. Purposefully curl up as tightly as ze could against Gabriel and the baby and rest zir head on his chest. Peek at him with stern questioning eyes and hold…as though waiting for something…then tuck zir head back beneath his chin and settle like stone. 

Ze had become so quiet...moreso than Beelzebub usually was, that Gabriel would worry that much more... 

However, there were times his wife was feeling…consciously safer…Beelzebub would behave even stranger…for Beelzebub. 

Ze would drop whatever ze were focused working on and do something that the angel found extremely pleasing and affectionate but didn’t know what caused the drastic alteration of behavior. It was pleasingly perplexing. Things like go to him and unbraid Gabriel’s hair, wind zir fingers through it and plait it perfectly. Sometimes ze would trace his lips, then faintly trace his cheek and study him. 

Then there was the time, after one of Liatris’s extremely bad illnesses, that ze clung to the child and fell against the angel, tucked zirself away against his chest as he folded zir in his arms. They stayed that way for a very long time, calming the warbling little whimpers of the baby with Beelzebub clenching zir fingers into Gabriel’s shirt. Days like that, he found the Prince more open to touches, where he could hold zir hand or find it over his heart. 

Their weird dance left the angel feeling equally adrift, but he gave zir what ze needed, when ze needed it. That was more important to him than looking to understand zir mysterious bruise... 

Then there was the growing mysterious illness within Beelzebub. Cold sweats, dizzy spells, shortness of breath, all much like Liatris’s draining illness. Occurring at random and left Gabriel chilled to the bone. Like the baby’s, it tended to come back, leaving zir already moon-pale skin looking like paper. There was only one way which it became different from the child’s, and alarming in a different way. With Beelzebub in zir strange push and pull for proximity and trust, it was difficult to handle. But Gabriel remain careful with his wife when ze became so conflicted. 

On the tail-end of the second week, ze dropped like a brick. 

Gabriel thought back to the first time – believing it was from exhaustion and converting zir body too quickly after fighting the Damned for hours – it hadn’t been too bad, but this time ze were wrecked. Zir head hit the corner of the table on the way down and left a nasty gash above zir eye. Zir body convulsed and zir eyes rolled back in zir head. Beelzebub was unreachable. He could only lay zir out on the floor as ze rode through it, healing zir as best he could while it happened. 

When ze came to ze were momentarily alarmed, trying to spring to action but the angel stilled zir and kept whispering words of comfort while remaining as still as he could, laying next to zir and holding zir face. Quickly, all other concerns puttered out, asking what happened and if Liatris was okay, to which the Messenger was quick to ease concerns. They remained on the floor with zir head in Gabriel’s hands and looked as tired as he’d ever seen zir. Almost as if ze had been sapped of energy. All that the demon was certain of were the warm hands that held zir face, the large form that lay on the floor beside zir, and the fact that ze could at least understand that he was there. That he was right there WITH zir. 

For whatever reason, Beelzebub knew that Gabriel would not hurt zir like He would for zir weaknesses. For the time they had while trying to save Liatris, that was enough...

Because there was nothing else to do about it and ze would be left wanti...with no other options...

So ze shut zir eyes and stole what ze believed Gabriel hadn’t known he was ever giving zir... 

Ze lay there on the floor with him, barely touching though they had become accustomed to sleeping much closer, and feeling like ze were all wrong... 

Allowing zir weakness for just a moment to pretend that the kiss in the park hadn’t been a mistake or fake... 

Ignoring that ze were foolish and just...let him hold zir... 

Pretend holding onto him was enough... 

Pretend… 

They lay that way, with Gabriel running his thumbs over zir cheeks and Beelzebub fingers wound in his shirt until Liatris started to squawk and whine, as though alarmed. All the angel did was smile and say, “They’re looking for us.” And, after ensuring Beelzebub could move, they went about taking care of the mess and the baby. Things smoothed out for them and returned to their usual confused steps that had become their Lives. 

********************* 

Though they reestablished balance, another issue had become more apparent. Lack of space. The second-floor room they shared was smaller than all others they had stayed in but had view of the alley and back of the house and a copper soaking tub. If one wasn’t paying attention bumping into the other occurred often, leading to apologies from one and grumbles and huffs from the other. The baby would giggle thinking it was a game, flashing their now vibrant lavender eyes up at whoever caught their attention. 

One such incident had Beelzebub grouse, “it was so much easier when I could just hit you.” 

And Gabriel actually laughed and wiggled his eyebrows at zir, “then give it a shot, your Highness. Put the baby down and let's do this.” 

“You’re joking?” 

“No powers. Close combat only. Obviously.” He said as he carefully took the baby and tucked them in a little wicker basket they had found perfect to lay Liatris down in. He made faces as he gave them Bugsy back after the doll was dropped. “Mmmmmm first blood is too much. Let’s say, first to startle the baby from too much noise or yield?” 

“Quit horsing around, this is no place to do this.” 

“Horsing?...” The Messenger of angels had to fish around in his head for the meaning of that, looked thoroughly confused. “There’s no-“ 

“Don’t hurt yourself, pigeon.” And ze launched up into his arms with just enough force to make him stumble back into the nearest wall. 

He caught Beelzebub with a grunt. 

-What’s that line? ‘Though she be little, she be fierce.’ Yeah, that suits her perfectly. 

Ze wrapped lithe legs around his waist and felt his strong hands wrap a little too well around zir hips and bottom before ze struck him in the face. Just hard enough. The Leader of the Host looked momentarily shocked, but he quirked his head and a smirk slipped on his lips. Satisfied little look to zir Heavenly blue eyes. Next thing the fly demon knew was being spun around and pinned against the wall with a thud. It had rattled things nearby but didn’t seem to disturb the child. 

“Not too loud...Don’t want to disturb the baby.” Ze crooned into his face, leveling him with a cool gaze and a quirk of zir fierce little mouth. Zir voice sounded like velvet, a smooth sound he’d never heard from zir lips, a velvet that wrapped a blade. Gabriel grunted, then ze felt his grip shudder around zir hips and Beelzebub felt a little trill of pleasure coarse through zir core. 

-Really?! Why am I like this? Why do I like this? Is this a joke? This feels like a fucking joke...fuck! 

Zir thoughts were interrupted by Gabriel jostling zir, shifting zir slight weight to be on his now raised knee. The feel of his thick thigh against delicate parts of zir anatomy made zir quiver and ze suppressed the gasp that tried to leave zir mouth. Ze had to do something to distract zirself. Beelzebub grasped onto Gabriel’s shirt then began to wrinkle the fabric in zir tight fists. Gabriel could only watch in amused frustration as his delicate wife’s hands rucked up his shirts with a mischievous twinkle, lips locked tight. 

“I figured you’d cheat, but this? This is uncalled for.” 

Ze didn’t have time to retort, nor laugh. 

Shocked by his angle, Beelzebub felt as zir enemy thrust zir harder against the wall, slotting his hands under zir knees to wrap zir legs around his hips and press flush between. Zir arms were then flung away and pinned by the sides of zir head and ze cursed as a jolt of what ze could only describe as a shockwave quivered through the nerves in zir cunt, making zir feel dizzy and tingly. 

-Fuck! That’s definitely not how that’s supposed to go... 

Zir breath was coming in in tight little pants. Zir skin felt flush and too sensitive, particularly when his monstrous hands curled around zir dainty wrists and forced them higher. Ze could feel zir cunt clench fiercely, feeling empty and then a teasing pleasing slickness begin within zir inner walls that alarmed zir and ze absolutely FORBADE from existence. Beelzebub was near begging that the angel wouldn’t notice. Ze couldn’t help but bite zir lip to keep them locked. 

-Fuck! WHY?! Not the time! 

“No biting, dear...” 

“Mmm, exczellent idea.” And ze playfully bolted forward and snapped zir teeth at him, making Gabriel lean back while trying to keep zir pinned with his hips. That did nothing to help ease the growing heat between the two. 

Gabriel really wasn’t expecting the demon to play fair but also wasn’t expecting Beelzebub to swivel zir hips in such a way and grind against him, making him tremble and falter again; ze had failed spectacularly to knee him under the arm... 

Beelzebub was trying to focus on everything else but how he felt between zir legs... 

And those lithe legs went limp and hung from the height the angel held zir by, the demon used it to zir advantage. Ze used his hold then braced up a foot against the wall and kick the other into his side, he countered by rolling with the blow. 

They ended up on the floor with Beelzebub straddling him and the Prince being the one to pin the Archangel’s wrists to the floor. Gabriel looked up at zir with a pained smile. 

“We’ve done this before.” 

And they had, the second time they met, right before being named zir consort after he had fallen through zir roof, in Aram. But then ze had had a blade to his throat and he had torn zir skirts in their struggle. He was purposefully ignoring his dream. How good ze had felt moving on his cock. The bruise he had discovered on zir had finally disappeared; he avoided it but his blush to his face remained. 

“You know, the more I reflect on it, I rather like you like this…below me…” Ze huffed out, a little giggle bubbling up in zir throat and zir teeth showing in a quirky open mouth smile of wicked delight. “Zzuch a pretty zight you make, Mezzenger.” 

Gabriel evaluated their position not completely losing his confidence, slightly worried stupid smile on his pursed lips, feeling how zir grip tightened and finding he had very little in options. He really had to consider their space and zir strength. 

“Can’t say I’m not enjoying the view.” 

“What?” Zir blush was instantaneous and vibrant. 

He thrust up hard, dislodging the demon from zir place atop him and the two went crashing. Flailing limbs and both shushing the other, but Gabriel managed to be quickest and pinned Beelzebub again. Zir gown’s hem rucked high up on zir thighs, his own bracing the underside of zir and meeting pelvis to ass. Ze let out a shocked yelp and bucked up, arching zir back, revealing almost too much more. Gabriel took zir shock as an advantage and pressed himself down over on zir and grabbed Beelzebub’s hands again with one, the other pulling zir nightgown down to cover zir. Another pin. 

“Bazzta-“ 

“Hush, dear. We really must keep quiet. You said so yourself.” Gabriel couldn’t help smirk at the glare ze were giving him. However, there was absolutely no fear to riddle zir Heavenly eyes... 

It was then that he couldn’t help but really look over the change in compromising position. Zir pale legs were exposed and he realized then ze hadn’t worn drawers that day. Zir neckline was another square cut and one of the shoulders had slipped down in their struggle. The blush ze wore had spread to zir neck and chest. Ze looked so sweet and innocent – exactly opposite of what he knew zir to be – and couldn’t keep himself from making comment. 

“I can understand your line of thinking. I like this view too.” He looked to mimic zir earlier haughtiness and husked in zir ear. “You are really pretty, whether above or below me.” 

Beelzebub did NOT lose control. Nor flail. Ze were decisively thrusting against him in aggravation and made Gabriel huff and curl closer. When he got close enough ze crushed his sides and the angel mentally noted that he’d have to thank the Almighty for creating angels without the need to use their lungs; though he knew he needed his ribs to not break when ze shifted zir legs higher. He dare not think of how...everything else had felt... 

They rolled, loudly crashing into a wall, but Gabriel was already calling out, “I yield! I yield.” And he felt as Beelzebub collapsed next to him, then smack his face. 

“Good angel.” Ze panted out a breath but made no movement to extricate zirself as he moved to sort of curve around zir body. Having re-found their strange comfort. “That was not nearly as satisfying as I’d like.” 

Zir cheek was still a vibrant red and Gabriel brushed his fingers over it. “I’m sorry. One day, you’ll get to take out all your aggravations at me. Will that satisfy you then?” 

“Never. Not until I’ve bruised and ensured every inch of you is sore, Love. And not even then will I be satisfied.” 

Ze caught his fingers in zir mouth and nipped them, making both stall, everything was still too sensitive... 

Ze felt as he carefully extracted his fingers and traced zir mouth, watched his eyes take in zir lips and felt zir tongue betray zir, licking those offending digits. Next thing ze knew were those fingers disappearing from view, feeling a large hand on zir thigh. 

Then a trace of fingertips could be felt to tarry higher, leaving a trail of ghostly warmth behind. Gabriel looked just as lost as Beelzebub felt. Each inch higher made of questions and heat. When he reached the edge of zir nightgown, he received only the slight tremble of zir body. His fingers traced the edge of it, then watched zir features for anything telling before brushing his knuckles from the tops of zir to between, careful and measured. Ze bit zir lip again and a hand found his kerchief and pulled just hard enough to bring him closer. 

The angel had to move to support himself on his elbow, but that hand started tracing zir brow. Then caressing zir hair. Beelzebub leaned into his touch… 

Gabriel felt coaxed onward to slip up zir nightgown, his eyes never leaving Beelzebub’s and waiting. Hoping he was doing things right. He didn’t go to the juncture of zir legs but skimmed his hand up to the joint that met hip and carefully learned the way ze felt there. How zir thin leg curved slightly. How the bone of zir hip felt harsh and jagged before becoming the soft supple plain that became zir thigh. 

He rubbed at the meeting of the two with the flat of his hand, then drew his thumb over the curve from top to just shy of zir inseam, brushing against the coarse curly hair of zir thatch as he passed. Pressing harder the further between he went and feeling heat radiating hotter the closer he got before he pulled away and back down zir thigh. Gabriel worked ever so slowly and only earned carefully analyzing eyes that shut on him as ze let out a quiet huff. He slipped his hand between zir legs but cupped the muscle of zir other side, missing where he wanted to learn zir. He kneaded zir and watched as ze tilted zir head back as ze arched and let out the quietest of sighs that the angel of communications could easily translate was from pleasure. He kept pressing up or in as he got closer to zir core, finding ze enjoyed and leaned into the pressure he provided. Slowly squirming and choking back a pleased sound every so often. 

He learned he could watch zir writhe like that all day, if he could be permitted that much. 

He kept switching from one thigh to the other, leaning over zir to see zir reactions in full and listening to the softest of frustrated buzzes ze let escape. Up and over a thigh and a knee bent and his hand travelled high, back down with his knuckles and between zir thighs. Too fascinated with zir reactions, feeling zir enjoyment thrum off zir, he dared to go higher still, only to the curve of zir thigh just before the seam of zir legs between...fingers brushing a slickness that had coated the inside of zir thighs that made his head swim on recognizing it for what it was; staying away far enough to wait for permission to follow it. 

“Let me take care of you, Bella...” 

A flick of zir Heavenly blue gaze up into diaphanous purple and he carefully moved to lean closer. His errant fingers trailed higher...but Beelzebub suddenly shuddered and locked up. 

“We zzhould check on the baby.” 

Zir breath was nearly imperceptible, Beelzebub was suddenly so very very still and controlled on the outside. However, Gabriel had already removed his hand. His fingertips had managed to pull zir skirts back down in place and found purchase on zir knobby knee to look up to see what looked to be a napping infant, who had remained safe in their little basket that he had placed in the middle of the bed. 

“They’re…asleep. Ppfff we were not that quiet. They really DO take after you.” 

“They’re a human baby, they need to sleep.” 

And Beelzebub was arching zir back as ze lazily tried to right zirself. A loud rippling crack echoed from zir chest and Gabriel winced, though ze didn’t. Ze curled in on zirself. 

“Okay, there is no way that didn’t hurt.” 

The more ze moved the more it crackled and suddenly ze were contorting on the floor, gasping for breath. 

“Bella?” He settled zir on zir side and ensured nothing was in the way as ze started to jerk. Zir body was fluctuating between hot and cold. Then Liatris started to cry. 

“Gabriel...the baby...I’ll be fine.” 

Their screeching was intense enough that he didn’t argue. He scooped them up and tended to their healing as Beelzebub spasmed on the floor, finally showing pain. The baby felt like they were burning up just as badly as ever, their little face scrunched up. 

It took a while and Beelzebub had become sprawled across Gabriel’s thigh, worn out and sore and drained and sweaty and rather content to lay on the floor with them like that. Ze had sweat through zir clothes and wobbled as ze tried to sit upright. 

“Is Liatris alright?” 

“Didn’t last as long as yours.” 

“How long did thizz lazzt, do you think?” And ze were checking them over, watching their little limbs shake in a way no healthy baby should. Beelzebub caressed their head and tried to brush away their sweat-slicked hair. 

“The humans’ time teller on the wall did nearly one rotation.” 

Zir face scrunched up in distaste but made no comment. 

“It’s the second time you’ve had a fit. This was longer.” 

-And it’s like the eigth time you’ve been feverish. Since we’ve been here. That I’m aware of. 

Ze grunted quietly, trying to get zir brain to unfog, a gentle warm hand at zir neck soothed and Gabriel could tell zir temperature was still a little high and zir pulse was quick. However, Beelzebub wasn’t focused on trying to evaluate zirself and hardly noticed, aside from feeling cold. “Are you alright? Don’t feel zztrange at all? You muzzt be tired, Love. You muzzt tell me.” And ze cast zir fearful gaze on the angel. Ze looked like ze could drop, dark circles bruising zir eyes something fierce. 

“I’m feeling fine, Bella. Promise.” 

He smiled a small smile and ze clapped his cheek before brushing cold fingers over his mouth. 

“Now that that’z over with…It’zzz bezt to wazzh up. A cooling bath might be good for Liatris.” Ze coughed a few times and a chill shivered through zir frame, actually leaning in further to the angel’s body. He felt like a nice cozy blanket to zir and ze wanted to bury zirself in him. Not move. Just fit there. 

However, Gabriel didn’t hesitate, he put the tired baby in zir arms and lifted them both up. They were all a mess, but Gabriel was more concerned about them. He’d deal with himself at least after the baby. 

He didn’t think Beelzebub would need a helping hand, but it wouldn’t have been the first time. And he wouldn’t say no if ze asked it of him... 

“How about, you soak and I do your hair for you? We rest. After I wash up the baby and myself, of course. We’re all gross.” 

Ze sighed and pressed zir face into his neck, eyes fluttering closed, lips finding his pulse. “If you bring me that book you picked up from your Principality.” 

“No. No, Bee. No books.” 

But despite Gabriel’s stern protests, Beelzebub was pouting, deciding to attempt to sway him. Despite him shaking his head and avoiding looking at zir face when ze tried to catch his eye. 

“Not one of the occult tomezz…the other one…” He could see zir eyes alight with a tiny bit of mischief despite zir obvious fatigue. He rolled his whole head in feigned aggravation, and zir little nose crinkled with zir cheeks, knowing ze’d win if ze did things just right. “Juzt for a little bit, darling?” 

-Oh no. Don’t call me, “darling.” Oh no. You fiend! 

“Fine.” He sat zir down on the tub edge and took Liatris, who felt not unlike a warm squishy potato, all curled up and cozy, despite being completely soaked through. “I’ll get your book. Stay here. I’ll take care of the little lamb.” 

He took the small wash basin to tend to himself and the baby. While he allowed Beelzebub a bit of privacy to handle zirself. He could hear when ze finally filled the tub and stepped in, just as he finished changing. 

He took time to inspect the tiny one they were taking care of. Beelzebub was calling back to him and asking if they had a temperature still, whether their leavings were too runny or looked wrong – Gabriel hearing the fear in zir voice when ze asked if there was blood in their nappy or anything discolored – and would only calm when Gabriel answered that everything looked as it should and managed to get Liatris to laugh instead of cry. 

They were getting back to themselves quicker this time and both he and Beelzebub were glad for it. 

“They’ve got some color back to their cheeks, Bee. Liatris is fine and all clean now. I think they’d like a bath now, too.” He spoke more to the demon but cooed out the words to the baby who gurgled bubbles and smiles back at him. 

“It’s a little too warm...but you can ztart on my hair...if you wizh...” 

He actually had brewed some lavender and chamomile for zir and told zir to “drink.” before going back for everything else. Zir pulse was still too quick for his liking. 

With baby and a copy of something called Doctor Faustus in hand, the angel handed one over to the reclining demon laid out in the tub. The room smelled of the same oils he went back for and a calm took over them all, lavender and juniper. When the water became more agreeable to Liatris’s skin, Beelzebub took the baby and began to read aloud, which Gabriel had not been expecting. 

It was a story Gabriel hadn’t heard before, though it was fascinating to hear the workings of his adversaries, even if he believed it was only in human fiction. Beelzebub kept cackling and laughing at different parts, inciting the tired baby to giggle with zir. He could only see Liatris in zir arms when they’d try to look into zir face and touch zir, laughing with their toothless smile and make Beelzebub croon at them. 

“Silly little monster, you should have seen his face when I met him. He was a sniveling little snot, hardly deserved to dangle from your nose. Had to tell him my name twice.” Ze laughed with the baby. “I know! Thought he was going to turn into a puddle of skin. Done hardly nothing to him at that point.” 

“Wait. Are you saying that this actually happened?” 

“Well, his name wasn’t Faustus. It was Ralph Cane, and he’s still a bumbling git. I don’t know what Mephistopheles saw in him or why we had to go through that whole farce. I had paperwork for a month and his soul was hardly worth it.” 

“Really?” 

“He didn’t bring us any glory or more souls. Just a one-off, selfish little wazzock. AND he kept calling me sir! Everyone kept laughing; he made a right mockery of me cauzze of it.” 

He stopped in shock, able to hear pain in zir mostly grumpy tired voice. “...I’m sorry, Bee. That’s awful.” 

Beelzebub chanced a look back at the Heavenly being sat behind zir, drying zir hair. He hadn’t been looking at zir until ze moved and their eyes met. And something twitched in Beelzebub’s chest. Zir mouth felt dry and a desire to be known felt near bursting to be let out; but there was where the fear overruled zir voice, welling up, silencing zir. Gabriel had seen zir body on multiple occasions, touched zir a few times usually when necessary, and knew enough of how zir body had been made. Believed what had been left of Before... 

-And no one ever believes you when you tell them you’re not a woman either, Beelzebub. Don’t fall for this. 

Zir face twitched and ze sniffed and cleared zir throat before readjusting the baby, who’s face had collided with zir cheek as they started to gnaw on it and growl. 

“Little Hellion, you’d make a better demon than that churl. But I won’t have it! You’ll only make my work harder, you would.” 

\- You’ll go straight to the angels, as you promised me. 

Ze turned on them and started to nibble their chubby cheek, earning a squeal. “Now. Listen to this next part. I went to Rome, too, but I had to do my job unlike some ungrateful ponce. Playing HARMLESS jokes on the Pope, like a couple of children. Mephistopheles got ample punishment for his stupidity from me. Then there was the sacramental wine to be Blezzedly blitzed with...Z’more worth my time.” 

Gabriel’s face scrunched up with an amused admonishment and he continued his work on Beelzebub’s hair. The argument over zir bad behavior got nowhere and nothing but wicked little smirks and mocking retorts. Bath time ended with the Demon Prince saying that story time was over and that the bath water was more tepid than comfortable, saying Liatris was starting to get hungry anyway. Gabriel pinned zir hair up and took the tiny lamb from zir and handed zir a wrap to dry off with, leaving zir to dress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extremes. Beelzebub is in a right state and Gabriel is TRYING to help, but how is he trying to help...guess that depends on the day. ::stares in ridiculous:: I know I’m only further teasing, and so soon after all Beelzebub’s reactions and it’s a lot and I’m both sorry and not. BUT I hope you enjoyed the not-quite fingering? Uuuuuhhhh let me know. 
> 
> Bath time. The 1700s were a bit different and tubs were a thing but made of all sorts of materials. Running water wasn’t a thing, so I’m stretching things a bit. It would have to be drawn and then heated and what-not. Let me gloss over such details damnit! Edit: I just realized I forgot about how ethereal beings can just WILL things into happening, like how I'm constantly having Gabriel do that to warm water and stuff or how Beelzebub wills zir wine to refill. So yeah. It's all willed.
> 
> I have always had this idea in my head that Gabriel, being the Archangel of communications/messages, that he had a very specific set of skills. He could read/speak any language and the instance he’d see a new one he would understand it(curious what Dagon had written Beelzebub in that secret script Gabe accidentally spied?). This, I feel, would include body language and he’s be able to know when a lie was being told, just as good as any demon who could sense lies. So, though there was no verbal consent he could tell Beelzebub was open to those touches to a point. And at that point he stopped, even though the verbal is what he got first. 
> 
> Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t think he sometimes gets jumbled with ALL THAT INFORMATION being bumbled in his head (along with being haunted by his lost Lover singing in his head) and he doesn’t always understand idioms because literal phrases are just easier for him. Unless he’s gotten USED to them from use. ::wiggles eyebrows and looks at the things Gabriel’s said:: 
> 
> Why do I think Aziraphale has been able to fool Gabriel for so long? Because I think Aziraphale’s body language has always read as anxious! And the Archangel has never heard Aziraphale lie at this point and has only good reports from him. So he trusts a good angel to be a good but sometimes careless angel. 
> 
> Another side note: this skill I headcanon Gabriel having would be INCREDABLY useful with children, and I think that’s why he’s capable with babies. Cry for food or needing a change or messy, Gabriel would be able to interpret baby noises. Baby upset and inconsolable after terrible soul draining fits = extremely stressed out angel daddy. 
> 
> Dr. Faustus does have a Rafe (which has been said to be Ralph sometimes) and I think I’m just being a clever dummy. Excuse me. Beelzebub is in the story briefly, but I thought it’d be funny for zir to read it to Liatris. 
> 
> As always, I really appreciate, comments, concerns, promises you don’t intend to keep uh I mean song suggestions. I kept hearing Little Soldiers, from The Crane Wives, for the last chapter and I really suggest it. Concrit is SUPER important to me. I know I’m getting long winded, but please always tell me what you think. I HOPE you’re enjoying this wild ride. Let me know things you think you caught, tangents you liked, things you didn’t like, or things that made you go.......Uuuuuuhhhh starry?.....You okay?....What is this? 
> 
> Thank you and stay safe <3
> 
> Ps. If you’ve never heard Anna Martin Maxwell say “darling” you should. There’s a recording of Don’t Tell Mama from Cabaret that she does and she says “hello, darlings!” I feel like Gabe would be done for.


	29. Secret Terrors In The Dark Of Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have gotten more or less complicated over the last few months for Gabriel, Beelzebub, and baby...but Life was never meant to be any of those things for a strange little family such as theirs... 
> 
> Truths and chilling pasts come out to haunt, daring to cut through the precarious world the leaders of Heaven and Hell have crafted around themselves and Liatris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of menstruation, blood, unaddressed trauma, ptsd, mentions of rape, an attack, mocking/bullying, outing of a closeted person with use of verbal assaults in regards to a person’s sex organs. Again, I THINK that’s it. I COULD HAVE missed something, but you know me, I try to be very careful. I like writing horrors, not harming you without warning. 
> 
> Spoiler: Liatris is relatively fine. 
> 
> This chapter was tricky for a few reasons. The second half was roughly planned for ages now as it was integral to the next chapter, which was previously written. THEN there was this first part of this chapter that was half done but was finnicky. There is so much to it because of...well, you’ll see and I hope it’s clear. 
> 
> You know what, I had left this and thought I'd be fine but really I'm coming back to beg y'all not to hate me and apologize. Like...spoiler, no one dies but I'M AN AWFUL HUMAN BEING FOR WRITING THIS. Yeah... 
> 
> Song recs for the first half is Trouble Ahead from Joanna Jones as The Dame and the second half is Heaven Or Hell from Digital Daggers 
> 
> I couldn’t get them out of my head when I was reading it through to edit. I think they suit each part but would love to hear your suggestions.

Beelzebub had woken up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, ze felt wrong. Sick. Drained. Like zir regular skin ache was resonating in zir cavernous form. Something was wrong, but ze actually suspected it was likely zir body going through the process of finally menstruating, causing zir to curse and bless everything in existence. The morning ze had bled after Gabriel had had his nightmare had seemed to be what ze had assumed, stress and hormonal imbalances; minor spotting and nothing more. 

The first thing ze wanted to do was confirm and clean up any mess and then maybe warm up a water bladder to place on zir abdomen. Ze were secretly thankful to no one for being in hiding, as ze had no other tasks that were pressing and could do just that. Not only that but ze didn’t have to endure any cruelties or belittlement from Gabriel over it. Beelzebub believed that for once...ze could just...rest. 

-That’s a very bizarre thought, I can just...relax...resting with an angel...Fucking Heavens, I ran away with an angel and a baby! Fucking bless me. 

Ze clumsily stumbled out of bed, too tired to be too careful. As long as ze didn’t wake the baby or angel, that would be fine. 

-It would be great if I had some ginger root. Heavens, what I would do for chocolate...Arseholes and angels, this is awful. 

Ze felt so foggy all ze could think of was the pain. It wasn’t much worse than zir last few cycles but not stopping zir from wanting to cuss out the Almighty in every language man had spoken. The demon just wanted to curl back up and go to sleep, just tuck up next to... 

Ze doubled over and groaned and swallowed back the bile that was building up and the next thing ze knew was blood on zir hands seeping out from zir nightgown…too high from where ze knew too blessed well it was supposed to come from… 

-Fucking Heavens… 

“Gabriel?” Ze called out in confusion and he was up, surrounding Liatris in blankets on each side and left in eyesight. 

“What’s happened?” And as soon as he saw the blood Gabriel stalled. He was gentle as he put his hands on zir, concern spiked. There was just so much blood the Messenger thought ze were attacked. “How did-” 

“Gabriel, something’zzz wrong...” 

And something flashed in his eyes and his hands shot away from zir, his face became too serious for Beelzebub’s liking. “I need to look at your body, Bee...I need to see, Okay? Please, trust me. I will not harm you, but I need to see.” 

All ze could manage was a nod and Gabriel got on his knees, hands back on zir; touching zir arms, zir hands, zir waist, as though uncertain where he should til his hands were on zir knees. 

In a distant part of zir brain, where things managed to be more detached, ze thought how that was decidedly not why ze had wanted him to touch zir like that, nor when. Not be down on his knees before zir for those reasons, touching zir ever so carefully for that. It was jarring to think, even if ze weren’t in pain. 

He slowly drew up zir gown hem and it was as though the demon could see a nightmare reanimating behind his eyes with each inch the gown lifted, there was far too much blood and Beelzebub could feel as it trickled down zir thighs. He did not rush and kept saying soothing words to zir, saying he’d heal zir in a second, he just needed to know what was wrong. And then it was revealed to them. 

Small channels from zir stomach to just above the patch of curly hair on zir monds venus, angry and bold black blood spilling. Three in parallel row etched high, jagged but not as though serrated, and two more met each other below as though to resemble a chalice. The blood only seemed to flow into it before funneling through the point, unnaturally, and trickle over zir pubic hair then further, it was passed zir knees and splattered the floor. The Archangel remained steady and looked up to zir revealing his recognition, two sets of unnatural eyes reflected fear. 

“That’s...that’s the symbol I saw in my dreams...Bee?...Are you-” 

“Gabriel, pleazzze, check Liatrizzz!” And he did as bid, replacing zir gown over Beelzebub’s knees before rushing to the little one’s side. But on inspecting them, there was nothing wrong. Just a confused and unsettled mortal looking up at a terrified celestial, sleep in their brilliant purple eyes and tears brimming. 

“They’re fine. They’re fine. Come here.” He lifted the Prince into his arms, brought them closer to the bedside, and sat them down in his lap, ignoring how blood was getting everywhere. He set to work and started to heal zir. 

It took a while, the wound deep, and leaving a shuddering mess of Beelzebub. The higher beings stayed there rocking through the pain, the angel apologizing again and again, the demon exhausted and hurt a little more than zir usual thrum but no longer bleeding. Ze just felt extremely bruised and sore and were collapsed against Gabriel’s chest and said nothing. 

The trace of the inlets woven into zir body had zir thinking on things not thought of for the months ze had been in Gabriel’s company. Things that ze had purposefully ignored with the help of hazy waking nightmares as demons watched over zir; safe-guarded under Hell’s King’s command. Ze didn’t want to think of those memories... 

Beelzebub pointedly ignored how ze shouldn’t be curling up closer to the angel. Zir fingers had become intertwined with his over zir abdomen and zir face had buried against him. Ze didn’t want to do anything else except for try to focus on his pulse to steady zir own. 

But all Gabriel could think was that this was all his fault…His dream felt too real now and Beelzebub trusted him in such a way…He felt like he betrayed zir… 

“Blezzit, I need to clean now.” 

“That’s your first thought?! I’ll handle that and Liatris while you clean yourself. Forget about it.” 

“I zhould take care of them while you clean.” 

“Bee!” 

“Alright! Yez. We can zzee. It appearz I have been marked by theze. These bazztardzz-UGH! And don’t know how or why. I don’t have any fucking clue! It’z zort of a clear problem. Thizz hurtz like a bitch. Foolizh them if their aim was to hurt me, though, had no clue what they were doing to me til I was bleeding all over the place.” 

“...How?!” 

“Didn’t feel much different than when I’d uzzually bleed, really. Stupid menzzzezzz.” Ze grimaced in distaste. 

“You confused menstruation with being cut into?...” The angel looked horrified and disbelieving down at the demon in his lap, who merely shrugged at him, nonplussed. “Cut into!” 

“Started from the inside, like clawing, like it doezz.” Ze became more introspective, “We uzze this method for communicating with negligent subordinates and the possessed for ages, but if this is as good as it gives, it leavezzz much to be desired. Z’juzt agitating, really.” 

“Okay, firstly; you were CLAWED FROM THE INSIDE OUT and thought you were only menstruating?! And you want to do worse to your people and the possessed?” 

“THOSE being negligent, may not be willing to lizten in the first place, zooo yez. And the pozzezzed, well, that’z our job. Torture and make to zuffer and what-not.” Ze scrutinized him. “I am a demon, pigeon. M’not juzt doing thingz all willy-nilly.” 

“Right...But maybe that’s still awful that you confused your insides being clawed out for what your body is supposed to do naturally.” 

“Been that way sinze I can remember the firzt. That was a confusing surprizze. I am not the one with the design specifications on corporations such azz mine. Makez one wonder, who’z the real arzehole here?” 

“It sounds like it would be more a part of your Damnation. You know; part of your punishment?” 

Ze grimaced and eyed him, critically, “I suppozzze one could azzzume that...However, from what I’ve learned from the humanz who share zimilar funczionzz. Traitz.” Ze grunted in complete frustration and bit zir tongue from saying ‘a bleeding cunt’ and carried on, “they tend to go through pain too. Varies from person to person.” 

And Gabriel nodded in baffled resignation. “Oh.” 

“Yeah. ‘oh.’ I don’t get it, either.” Ze grunted and zir features scrunched up, though it wasn’t clear if it was from frustration or more pain. Or both. “More curiouz why I’ve been marked. What-for?” 

Ze slumped backwards into his arms and shut zir eyes, breathing still a bit labored but calming down by the minute. Gabriel only became more anxious as he thought everything over and bit his lip as he looked zir over. He didn’t know what to do now as his dream had physically bled into reality. It was more than a dream now with Beelzebub being marked, and... 

“Bee...we need to talk...” 

The seriousness of his voice physically startled zir from zir thoughts, ze had started to drift off in the silence and warmth, zir aches only a dull thrum. It was then that ze noticed how stiff he had felt and got tense in turn. 

“’Bout what?” 

“What I dreamt...” He wouldn’t look at zir and his brow was furrowed deeply, ze wanted to rub it off his face and would have if ze weren’t covered in blood. He closed his lavender eyes and seemed to become not unlike those sculptures the greats have been known to do and Beelzebub was stuck between frustration that he wouldn’t just spit it out, wanting to pinch him, and knowing Gabriel wouldn’t behave like this if it wasn’t serious. Ze had seen just how badly his dream had upset him. 

“Well, if-” 

“We weren’t just standing safe in a field.” He finally let out a long breath, looking to the Heavens as though to ask for assistance before finally looking down at zir. “You weren’t just safe with me. Bee, we...” 

Ze weren’t sure how to handle this situation and watched a War rage on his face, clenching his eyes shut and trembling before finally looking down at zir again. Beelzebub held just as still as he had moments before. 

“I had been in a glen, you and Liatris weren’t there and I heard a voice past the trees. I...It led me to you, alone, and you-I...Bee, forgive me. I-” He ran a hand over his mouth before Beelzebub could stop him. He jerked away from zir touch and ze held zir hands up and away, seconds followed and ze fumbled out of his lap and stared him down, but not as unkindly as ze usually would have, he already looked like a kicked puppy. 

“Tell me what you dreamt, Gabriel.” 

He explained as delicately as he could, how they had both been naked, how neither he nor Beelzebub seemed disturbed by their appearance or actions and became intimate with one another, how he saw the sigil form on zir abdomen during the act and how that was when he realized that it was a dream and tried to stop everything and wake up. Beelzebub stayed quiet throughout and he couldn’t look away from the pain that was carving into zir features, the upset and disgust. 

“I’m so sorry, Beelzebub, forgive me.” 

The Lord of Hell had remained utterly frozen. 

It was like a punch to zir gut, like ze were right back on the alter in the antechamber. Ze remembered being beneath Lucifer as he worked himself over in zir til ze felt him cum, spilling in zir. Sealing his seed within with unknown markings, though made in his own blood, not etched in zir. Careful. Decisive. Sealed with malice and hate and promises of devastation. 

Cruel lips kissing hungrily across zir body as though he owned zir and everything within... 

Beelzebub felt sick and startled when ze heard the faint sounds of Gabriel begging zir for that which ze didn’t understand, but it wasn’t enough to pull zir out of it. His words were muffled. The world around zir was hazy. Ze couldn’t breathe and felt ze needed it. Ze teetered and felt like ze were underwater, being pulled under and felt everything all over again. 

Ze felt too hot hands on zir, dragging over the length of zir body before digging harshly into zir abdomen. Where ze had been marked that very night zir King had chosen to act out plans on zir body without care for zir. Where ze had been marked once more, for purposes that suddenly became too sickeningly clear. 

-The Lifebearers were involved prior. They engaged in ritual for these children...Did they know their purpose? Did they intend... 

It then occurred to the demon that not a single Lifebearer that was needed for half of the ritual was ever found at any of the scenes. Not a one. Every being within the house had been born with the ability to carry the child within them, none that could produce seed to root. 

It led to more questions... 

More questions and a different fear taking root within the demon. Fear of Gabriel’s dream and what it meant. Fear for the child they had saved. Fear of... 

Blinking rapidly then finally taking in zir first breath, Beelzebub found the Archangel’s eyes downcast and yet still drew away from him. Ze had just started to breathe again but then zir lungs constricted and shuddered. Chills threatened to riot across zir skin. The demon didn’t know whether to...ze didn’t even know what. Ze wanted to scream and yell in anguish and disgust...destroy something. Gutting someone came to mind, as did slowly peeling someone’s limbs from their body, careful to ensure the muscle and tendons didn’t snap away so every flicker of pain from their nerve endings could be felt. 

But it wasn’t actually Gabriel that ze had desires to commit these things to...Ze found him too disturbed by the whole thing...Unwanting of the acts...an unwilling participant...And zir blood ran cold as everything about his body language now and after that dream screamed in too familiar a tune to Beelzebub’s body and ze didn’t know how to handle it... 

Ze went to raise zir hand to touch him but didn’t know how or where anymore. It was too confusing and unnerving. Ze drew away. 

“Zzzzeemzz. Zzoun-” Ze grunted and bit zir lips, closing zir eyes from Gabriel. “Clue. It wazz a clue.” 

“What?” 

“When you...when the mark formed, you menzzioned it appeared? No one elzze touched me?” Ze trained eyes on Gabriel and he looked like he was in physical pain. 

“No one. Only me. But I didn’t make the mark.” 

“You zhould have told me, wh-” 

“That I betrayed you?! Hurt you? That I was responsible for this? I know this, despite how you acted in the dream, and yet I couldn’t stop myself when I figured it out.” 

His abrasive tone shocked zir, but one phrase stuck out over everything else. Absolutely dumbfounding zir into complete silence. It took time for zir body to connect to zir brain and Beelzebub put zir head in zir bloody hands and grumbled incoherently. 

“Tell me what you mean. Plainly.” 

“I couldn’t stop touching you! How else should I put it? I...I-Bee, I know you would have stopped us before we could get that far. I couldn’t even move my Damned eyes off of-...And...I...” 

He was starting to hyperventilate and that was the last thing any of them needed. Beelzebub didn’t know what to do as usually ze desired being as far away from everyone as possible. And with his dream forcing him to live that... 

Ze kept thinking of every time they had done their little dance around intimacy that they weren’t supposed to have. How Gabriel had never been the one to push zir, stopping the instance ze ASKED him or dismissed what they were doing with a deflection. He never had to be told more than once and never seemed upset, or sad, nor begged. He just listened and stopped when ze asked... 

“Gabriel, ztop! Lizzten to me.” The baby started to whimper and cry and Beelzebub jumped and went to them, bringing the tiny form back and crowded the angel’s space, almost in his lap. As though trying to ease him with Liatris’s presence. Ze actually brought his heavy hands up to place them on the baby, without thought. Ze couldn’t stop from keeping zir lips in a tight grimace. Ze waited til he calmed a little, a thin hand holding one that should have been able to take everything from zir, but it hadn’t. “You’ve done NOTHING WRONG. If anything, ziz waz done to you...I believe...what you exzperienzed waz a reprezentation of the actzz that ztarted thiz, why…Liatris and the other babiez exzizted…at all…It waz more than a dream, I’m just not zzure how, but I know you. You wouldn’t have...” Ages of being turned against and used came to mind and overwhelmed zir train of thought, but ze kept thinking of Gabriel always staying his hand. Having never needing to be forced to do as asked in those instances. “You wouldn’t have touched me if I didn’t want you too. And you said so yourself that I went to you, yeah?” 

“Yes. From the trees. You didn’t seem confused by our situation. Then you touched me like you sometimes do...here...” He put his hand on his chest and ze could see tears had started to escape his eyes. “And then you moved me to sit on the ground before you. You straddled me and pushed me to lay back, but I wasn’t forced...I did all that willingly...And that’s the way I could see the mark when it formed. And then the secondary visions of the attacks on you happened.” 

“Were you altered? Any markings on your body?” 

He was shaking his head, squeezing his eyes shut and wiping his tears away. “If I was, I didn’t see it and I don’t remember. Uuuuhhh I wasn’t really focused on me at the time.” 

Ze froze, taking note of the blush that seemed to creep up his neck and cheeks for a minute longer than necessary. It took a moment before zir eyes darted between him and the baby as ze bopped the child and rolled things over in zir head for a few minutes, “Did I notice being marked?” But ze quickly dismissed it, saying ze weren’t ever good at sharing pain, Gabriel, smartly, said nothing. “But you zaw uzz az...Willing participants. I went to you willingly and, though you didn’t have control of your corporation, you didn’t force me. It was a ritual performed. It was intentional.” 

“But why would I DREAM that?! Why did it FEEL so real? And why couldn’t I stop it?” 

Ze shook zir head and shrugged, without thinking ze took hold of his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t know.” 

“I don’t understand...” 

A frustrated hand went to touch his check but faltered again...The fly demon’s eyes were wide and uncertain of how to handle their predicament knowing that there was a violating touch involved. But then his hand covered zirs, pulling Beelzebub from zir conflict, soft watery lavender gems were still looking for help. He finished zir action and put zir hand to his cheek and sighed in relief when ze rubbed zir thumb over his high cheekbone and ze collapsed against him, mindful of Liatris. 

Ze felt no fear of him or really that much anger because of him. Just aggravation at his previous reticence. 

“Z’not fuc-Umph. Not fair...I juzt want to go clean up and zzzleep. I’m zo tired of ziz!” And the baby wailed and Beelzebub planted zir face square into Gabriel chest and let out what sounded like a muffled disgruntled sob. 

“Bee?...I’m sor-” 

“You zay zzzorry one more time, Mezzenger, and I’m going to bite your tit off. Got that? You’ve done NOTHING to be zorry about. Abzolutely nothing. You and I have been uzzzzed.” Ze growled, glaring up at him from zir position finding his eyes went wide. “Now...Azz we cannot get ahold of theze fuckerz to murder them into oblivion...” Ze deflated after thinking it over for a few minutes, genuinely tired of all aspects of their predicament. “How bad do you think it is if we all wazh up and DO get right back to bed?” 

“Shouldn’t we leave?” Gabriel was only a little alarmed, definitely feeling frayed around the edges. 

“We will, but...I juzt feel like they’ve got exactly what they want from uz...” 

Hopelessness hit the Messenger and he wasn’t certain who it belonged to. Taking a chance...he wrapped up Beelzebub. “What do you mean?” 

“Angel, use that beautiful head on your shoulderz, z’not just a pretty decoration up there. Haven’t you felt anything? A pull?” Ze could feel him shaking his head, saying “only when Liatris gets really sick,” and ze sighed. “They’re siphoning off Liatris. And we’re connected by our own essence we’ve given the baby...I think they’re feeding off the collective energy.” Ze started to feel like ze were sinking into him, ze wanted to fully curl up into his arms in bed, despite everything else. Instead they were all stressed out and ze were trying to get zir arse to move and clean and prepare to leave. 

“Seven Hells. Your sickness is from being drained, too, then.” 

Ze tsked and thought more on it. “Not unlike loozing mazzive amountz of blood while having a head-cold, and then a seizzzure for good measure. Don’t zuppozze you get a recharge going back to Heaven, yeah? Makez thingz difficult to notice if you’re unwell at all.” 

“It does help replenish a corporation when returning to Head Office. Stabilizes, moreso. Dammit.” 

“You couldn’t have noticed anything then. Perhapz it haz been what’z kept Liatris alive, though...even if we did muck it all up by giving the bazztardz untapped energy.” Ze were sitting up and holding zir head in zir hands, grunting in pain and frustration, and getting blood all over zir face. The angel looked over the two and could feel zir fear and stress pulsing off zir. 

“Perhaps. And honestly, if that was the cost of keeping the baby...I regret nothing.” 

Icy blue eyes flashed up to search warm lavender. At first angry and resigned, then frightened and confused, but there was something else that Gabriel hadn’t expected...relief...wonder...and something else. 

He didn’t know why ze would be feeling those things at his words, strangely soothing him to see all of it, but his mouth quirked into a small smile and he chanced touching zir again, brushing away hair from zir face. 

“But what about...Are you not afraid, Archangel? You and I’ve...” 

“No. I am certain of what we’ve done and I’m not afraid.” He leaned in closer, bumping his large forehead against zir own. “We saved Liatris’s soul. That’s not wrong or something to fear for.” 

“We haven’t yet...” 

“We will.” He pulled away and looked over the tired demon and human child in his arms, “We’ve made a mess. If you’re feeling well enough now, we should wash up and go, dear. If you still trust me to stay wi-” The Messenger found himself pinned with zir eyes. They were again cold and fierce, just like zir fierce little mouth, but then ze collapsed with a hard thud against him. “Courze I do, you tit. You’re juzt a...Gabriel, what am I going to do with you, Love?” 

It took a minute for it to really sink in and he let out a laugh before wrapping zir up fully, pulling zir and the baby into his embrace and wrapping his legs around zir, finding relief that he felt zir free hand snaking around his defined waist and crinkling his nightshirt in zir fist. He kissed the crown of zir head and breathed in zir strange honeyed scent that had mingled with the scent of zir blood. 

“Well, hopefully, you’ll at least listen to me when I say I want you to rest, next time I think you look...unwell-ish. And you’ll curl up with me and the baby in a really comfortable bed, with those fluffy feather blankets that you seem to like. Then let me run my fingers through your hair til you fall asleep.” 

“What?” 

“What? I like when you fall asleep. For a demonically encouraged vice, it’s actually cute, like you.” 

“Gabriel! M’not cute!” 

“Oh, you definitely are. You can’t tell me, you don’t know?” 

“M’not!” But he kept insisting and was a mix of incredulous shock and laughing down at zir before ze pushed him away, getting up to finally wash. “That’z not...You’re ridiculouz, you know that?” 

“Honeybee, I know you could level a battlefield and eviscerate hordes, I’m well aware and respect your power and authority over your people, but that doesn’t negate the fact that you are adorable.” 

A clean cloth was thrown in his eyes and he heard Liatris let out a loud bubbling giggle. 

******************************************* 

By the time they were cleaned, dressed, and on the road, it was essentially what was considered ‘the witching hour’ when the two ethereals set out with sleeping child tucked carefully in their sling. 

Beelzebub had remained on edge since discovering…everything and partially wished ze hadn’t. The things Gabriel had said about their dream encounter, lacking details of exactly what had occurred but having knowledge that he dreamt of zir in carnal terms was...mostly upsetting that he was alarmed and how ze couldn’t help him. 

Not only that, but with how he had been treating zir lately left zir in a right state. And then what he had just said about their sordid dealings, how he regretted nothing of it and foolishly believed they had done nothing wrong...it made zir feel a bit glowy again...Making zir want to look on him and touch him more. Feel him under zir hand and tru...something a demon would be a fool to do. 

It didn’t stop when ze wished it though. Ze kept thinking on the way he had held zir throughout their ordeal, how he was always careful with zir, how when he had kissed zir in the park it felt commanding but begging, somehow delicate and...all those things ze didn’t want to recognize. 

How he had started slowly tracing his large fingertips across zir neck before ze’d find his fingers woven in zir hair, every so often. Or his fingers digging into the muscles of zir back or dip of zir waist, when he’d hold zir. How ze’d feel him trace zir spine before ze’d fall asleep in his arms at night. 

How when they had been on the floor after fooling around and he had made zir feel oh so good just by touching zir legs, fitting his fingers under zir knee, tracing zir thighs, skimming the line of zir joints. How it felt like ze were about to push against his hand when his fingers had brushed the curls of zir snatch. It had made zir want everything he was offering and yet took his hand away when ze had essentially said no. 

The demon wondered if he would have been that delicate and soft if they had continued... 

Wondered almost to distraction what it would have felt like to have his girthy fingers slipped into zir cunt... 

Ze felt dizzy again and scrunched up zir face, admonishing zirself mentally in every way. 

-Fucking stupid HORMONES! Now is NOT the fucking time, Beelzebub! Can I not think about the stupid broad cock of an angel and his...oh no, don’t think at all! Get everyone to the next safehouse and shut your fucking legs and keep your fucking hands off the fucking angel? Stupid fucking cunt. 

Ze pointedly glared down at a hand that had somehow made it into said angel’s and felt him rub those thick fingers over zir knuckles. Ze grunted indignantly at the betraying limb. The demon’s body seemed to physically stutter, squeezing back before ze could manage to extract zir hand without a word. Ze looked through the darkness before turning back on the angel and snuck a peek at Liatris, tucked away with tiny fingers in their mouth and suckling away in sleep. The baby looked peaceful and Beelzebub felt relief for that until ze found zirself watched, finding the only being peering at zir was an angel who promised to watch over zir. 

Ze tsked and grunted softly before decidedly running fingers over his cheek too, stealing away the feel of him beneath zir fingers. 

-Stupid pretty-faced arse. Why did She have to make him like this? If I didn’t think I mattered nothing to Her, I’d really assume She crafted him to tempt and annoy the fuck out of me with his existence. 

And zir permanent scowl had become slightly crooked in zir attention’s absence. 

“I know that it’s not ideal for our purposes, but I’m glad that the moon is out. I wish Liatris had stayed awake a little longer to look at it. I’m sure it feels better to look on instead of the inside of a room to you too.” 

The idea was a little comical for the demon, who dwelled most of zir existence underground without natural light or even windows, Beelzebub wondered how much of Hell the angel was made aware of. “Hard to miss something you care not for.” 

-She’s lying. Well...this is awful...Is it so bad that I want to share the moon with her?...I know it’s not safe right now...but maybe... 

Gabriel didn’t know how to rectify the issue he brought about, he felt like he put his foot in something, trying to remember if the expression was for his toe in mouth or a hole; he secretly hated that he wasn’t good with human sayings, but he sure as Hell felt awkward. However, his infernal wife was catching his attentions again. 

“One day. When this is all over, Love, and they are safe, you’ll be able to show them the sun and moon and stars, without worry. I’ll not stand for anything less.” Ze seemed to croon to him, then stalled, looking a tiny bit concerned. “Just don’t let them stare directly into the sun. Z’not good for a human.” 

“I knew that.” And ze were making faces, knowing he wasn’t LYING but knew Gabriel would have probably not REMEMBERED that humans shouldn’t go looking up into the sun. 

“Of courze, dearest.” Ze clipped his lips with the pads of zir fingers, dismissing him, as ze turned to get back on track but his hand stayed zirs and held zir there, pressing them more solidly against the sensitive skin. 

-Why must this be a torment in all the wrong ways... 

It seemed to be an echoed thought between the two...The demon could only continue the thought as the Archangel brought his lips to the center of zir palm that this was a torment for zir alone. Gabriel was zir curse and ze would crave him, like nothing else. Probably murder anyone else for trying to share in the twisted conflict. And most definitely planning to murder a few escapees and rebels for making him suffer in a way that made zir stomach churn, torturing him with something Beelzebub found vile... 

-I’m going to tear those fuckers apart. They will never see the light of the skies ever again and I will torture them with false promises of it - of their freedom from Hell and more. Even if I never see the world again til the Final Battle. 

Ze watched as his lips traveled lower and felt as they lowered over the pulse in zir wrist, feeling more warmth seep into zir and felt zir voice betray zir with a pleased buzz that ze cut off with another grunt and pulled zir hand from him. Ze firmly tapped, more than slapped, his face and finally managed to turn away and continue on. 

Ze ignored the sound of zir pulse in zir ears, subduing it. It wasn’t the time to allow for errant emotions with everything else going on around them. Ze became a bit rigid from it, shoulders squared as ze tottered onward. 

Just at the cusp of the witching hour’s end, having traveled mostly in silence and without any further interruption, the accidental family’s ethereal senses picked up something. Energies that didn’t belong invaded the area and Beelzebub felt the angel tense up just as ze did. Occult and demonic energies sparked and flared in a dance that set Gabriel’s teeth on edge and Beelzebub’s blood to broil. 

“Don’t hesitate, should it become dire, Gabriel.” 

“I really wish you would negotiate this, Bee.” 

“Stop being such a tw-” 

“Now, now. Prince Beelzebub...language. You’re with baby in your care.” And out from the shadows crossed a being that chilled both higher beings’ bones. Gabriel was between two urges; he wanted to pound the once-man into pulp and yet was ready to forget all pretense or plans and scoop up his demonic wife and child and take flight. Ignore proper protocol for Earthside agents using their wings and get Beelzebub and Liatris as far away as he could; however, he found he was frozen in place, only able to draw out his Heavenly sword. 

Luca Giordano, so close to the memory of the man he once was, but made more...alluring with feather soft eyelashes, perfect skin that looked as smooth as porcelain, and long curly hair that rivaled what he remembered of one of the rather stylish Kings of France. The bastard even donned a forest green jacket, extremely ornate gold palm leaves embroidered round the edges, and white breeches, feathered cap on his perfectly coifed head. His eyes were golden though, no longer the grey they once were, and still haunted Beelzebub. Luca sauntered with all the cockiness of a peacock towards them, as though he cared not that he was in the presence of his former regent leader and one of Heaven’s finest warriors. He did at least seem to have numbers on their side. More and more shadows carved their space into the darkness to house their forms, converging on their position and leaving nowhere to turn. 

“Speaking of; how’s my baby? Has it...It’s wrong. What did you do to it?” 

Gabriel could see something strange coming off the Demon Prince, Wrath and fury rippled off the very dirt that zir small feet were planted on, but something physical shimmered in the moonlight around zir full skirts, not knowing what. Otherwise, Beelzebub was like stone, the world was moving around zir but almost like it was more extension of the occult being. 

“Bella, you look tired. Is everything alright? Can’t imagine your boring ‘husband’ being any fun. I can remind you of a good time if you’d like. You know I can take care of you, despite your...deficiencies...” 

He sneered as he went to touch the Prince’s cheek, mocking decorum and all care for his safety. The turned man seemed like he didn’t expect the fly demon to actually be of concern. However, his hand froze mid-motion and twitched almost violently; the demons and Damned looked from one to the other. 

“The fuck did you...” 

If Gabriel could have seen Beelzebub’s face, he’d have seen a ferocity he had never before witnessed burning in zir eyes even as zir face remained frighteningly blank. He’d have seen the months of fear burning away with each passing second and a screeching anger being kept captive within. 

Ze drew closer, a decisiveness to zir movement, even and measured. Beelzebub walked tall for zir short stature and Luca seemed to crumble to meet zir level, sink further down to his knees. He scowled in pain up at zir but ze didn’t say a word. Ze set fire to zir hand as ze dug it high up on his chest, the crunching sound of bone crackling through the night. What looked like silver leaked from Luca’s eyes and mouth and he sputtered. Bugs had burrowed into his flesh, popping out of erupting pock marks on his previously beautiful face. 

“You’re going to tell us everything we need to know.” 

“Fuck you, piccola puttana.” He spat at zir and looked zir up and down. “You little defilement. Does your stupid angel even know what really hangs between your legs? Infida ermafrodita!” 

Someone shrieked and Gabriel watched as several beings started to claw at their skin, more bugs bursting from their body. It was then that he realized that the Lord of the Fliers had called zir familiars to serve zir whims and make them suffer from the inside out. Ze had called them to crawl from ground into their skin and multiply with occult speed and eat their way out. That had been what had started to pool around zir in the moonlight. 

But then a mist swelled around them... 

Gabriel tried to force it out, will the wind to push it away but it engulfed him and Liatris and he saw as it consumed the Prince of Gluttony, too. 

“Bee!” 

“Gabriel, go!” 

“Get the baby!” 

He heard screams and shrieks from those around him, a quiet pained grunt he was far too familiar with, Liatris started to cry in earnest, and he felt instead of saw as one of the Damned vanquished on his sword. The mist had become a noxious fog too thick to see further. 

A clash of claw on blade and he was sweeping and slashing blindly, following only auras sensed. Gabriel was afraid if he used the energy to completely destroy them without having the ability to see WHO he was fighting he might hit Beelzebub. Zir aura had been kept hidden, as his was, so he was completely unable to sense zir. Not even their unseen bond could help. 

He dodged, finding the Damned were terrible at concealing their movements and essence, and managed to remain a step ahead. As he danced with the Damned and Fallen, one hand guarding the little bundle his wife had trusted fully in his care, he could hear Luca’s strangled cries and grunts and Gabriel had to let his lost Lover’s cries and shrieks drown him out. It was too much to hear the despicable fiend make those noises. 

The Archangel felt helpless as he could not get to the Prince, there were too many to deal with to even move more than a few feet. However, he absolutely refused to leave zir there, even if ze cursed him out and shut down on him for the rest of their existences, he would not leave Beelzebub with Luca Giordano. 

A laugh from that vile man sent chills ripping through Gabriel’s spine as he lopped the head of a Damned that jumped close enough to be seen and destroyed fully. Liatris wailed and the angel could feel his shirt being dappled with tears and wished to dispel all their fears and terrors, as they were more helpless than either higher being. He kept thinking that if he could just get to Beelzebub the child would calm, because then they would all be able to get to safety and have finished off the attackers. 

He felled two more before he felt the bindings of Liatris’s sling torn off, his flesh tearing with it. Gabriel barely grunted and countered with a swing of his blade behind him. He shifted to keep Liatris safe in his arms and then decided being sensed by Heaven was worth the risk. It could deal with the fog and give them the vantage they needed. 

A deep breath and he cast their attackers away with a broad swing and yanked on that Celestial cord to the Divine and felt it course through him. The strength of it manifested in a gust that managed to push back even the demons in the bunch and he saw Beelzebub, zir gown’s skirt fluttering ragged in the wind. Zir hair had come partially undone and ze were cutting into Luca just as he shred at zir waist, thin fingers clawing into each side of zir delicate waist. However, Beelzebub was pulling back, dragging zir blade across his side and Gabriel could see a rot start to eat away at his wound. He looked grizzly and macabre and angry. 

Beelzebub looked controlled but Gabriel could see murder in zir eyes and a twitch of zir cheek paired with minor physical damages inflicted on zir. 

Hearing quick feet and a shriek, the warrior angel was moving again, not towards Beelzebub but around the offensive moves of attackers. He dodged under as one swung high at his face, keeping Liatris close to his chest and continuing his movement with a swipe of his sword towards the knees around him. Righting himself as others fell, touched by Divine energy to destroy them, he cut and parried at the blades and claws that accosted him. He could see Beelzebub and Luca in a dangerous dance and watched as the fiend took hold of the angel’s wife and spun zir round and wrapped zir in a bear hug. He watched as he struggled to hold zir still, whisper something in zir ear and fury roar up in the Demon Lord’s eyes, then ze were cutting off Luca’s fingers. 

Then Gabriel was back to his senses as he was careened into by a surprisingly larger being. The man took hold of Liatris’s little chubby leg and the baby shrieked, startling both Gabriel and Beelzebub. The angel thrust the weight of his corporation into him to use it to his advantage and loosen the Damned man’s grip and stabbed him. He did so several times before lighting him up, feeling Wrath take over. Then he was caught up in an onslaught of blades swinging at him. All were countered in one fell swoop, but they moved in unity with a counter of clawed limbs, lashing without care. Gabriel saw this and feared how close they were getting to the tiny form in his arms. 

Slash after slash, and then one got too close to the child and Gabriel was moving to avoid. 

He was hit, four sets of fingers dug into his back and sides much like how Beelzebub’s had done to others. Had he not let it happen those razor-sharp claws would have chopped off one of Liatris’s tiny feet, or worse. Gabriel spun away, breaking arms in the process before ignited his Heavenly sword and sending them into oblivion, but another three souls and a demon rammed him. 

They all went rolling to the floor and Gabriel tried to keep the weight off the baby, protecting their fragile body. Liatris shrieked over and over and he heard Beelzebub calling out to them and Luca bellowing to get the child. 

He heard more fighting and felt as a few bodies pressed in on him, a blade bled what felt like fire into his guts and he cursed. Next thing he knew someone was trying to pry the human child from his arms and hurting them. 

Another sound for the collection of horrors Gabriel would never be able to escape. This one had been real and not dreamt...He cast out Holy energy to ravage those around him, let it clip out like a shockwave and they succumbed to permanent Deaths. Then another group crowded him, like a wave from an angry ocean. 

Springing up and lunging out with sword, he cut into straying limbs that dared to try and reach, huddling the baby close, and grunting as he felt someone bite him. It burned and he cursed before he elbowed them and stabbed them in the skull, igniting them and listening to their final shriek. 

Another attempted on Liatris and Gabriel dismembered their limbs before stabbing them in the guts and cutting upwards. It was then that another two dug those strange blades in his sides. It felt wrong and fear coiled in Gabriel’s gut as he stumbled forward. He cradled Liatris to him and kept from meeting the dirt with his other arm and sent out a pulse of Divine energy in defense. Another stab to his back with a blade and he hit the ground again, curling around the wailing baby, the world swimming. 

He heard and felt as Beelzebub let out an unHoly stream of curses and felt fire and energy catapult into the area around him, then a flash of darkness then back to the natural darkness of the night. Every last being Dead from whatever attack the Demon Prince had launched at them. Beelzebub was kneeling by him and Liatris was in zir arms, a splatter of their own human blood on their little forehead. 

Beelzebub looked afraid and PISSED and zir lithe arm was raised as Luca, bloodied and torn up, charged them. Rotting fire mixed into Luca’s skin…and then rebounded and hit Beelzebub and Liatris! 

Ze took near all of it, turning zir body and letting it engulf zir shoulder, back, and neck. For whatever reason it seemed to have an effect on the demon, however ze managed to remain in place. He could see angry tears pooling in zir eyes and blood on zir lips. Ze put the baby in Gabriel’s arms and turned with blade in hand to face Luca, who looked more wreck than demon and had suffered having more rot cover his body. 

“You will give me what’s mine, Bella. GIVE me MY child.” 

However, the demon wasn’t responding, flames licked up at zir arm and down the blade and the Prince was vibrating. It was like ze were about to jump out of zir skin. Ze sprung like a jack-in-the-box, and mid-leap, Gabriel could see zir body start to lose its form and look to flutter like thousands of wings. 

“I’ll be dreaming of meeting you again, little whore.” Luca was already gone in a flash of white. 

Beelzebub didn’t disperse as intended, ze stopped, sharply pivoted and made eye contact with zir husband, weapon at the ready. Ze ran to their side and touched the crying child and zir angel, running bloody hands over them both, begging him in hushed tones, “We muzzzt go, now, Gabriel. Come, Love, up.” And he could see the pools of shimmering water in zir pain-steeled eyes. He tried to start the healing process on the child, ignore his own body’s natural process in order to focus on the baby, but he couldn’t. Whatever he had been hit with wasn’t good. 

The angel could feel the diminutive form lift and carried him through the woods and felt as the world swam. “They weren’t paying enough attention if they wanted Liatris alive. They were going to hurt them.” 

“Huzzzh, Love. Focuzz on healing. Pleazze. For Liatriszzz.” 

He kept hearing zir whisper almost as though it were the wind whispering in his ear, or a bug in his ear. It was a comfort, even after the rest of the world started to come into focus. 

They stumbled not too far before happening upon a human on a four wheeled cart, terrifying him with their appearance. Beelzebub physically knocked the man unconscious before he could scream about the scary blood-soaked twisted ‘lady’ and tucked him into his cart before urging the angel to shut up and get in. “I don’t think we’ll have another attempt on uzz and we NEED to get to zafety. The human will be fine. Heal.” 

It wasn’t like he could say much of anything to zir. He could only focus on the pained cries of the baby and the silent furious tears mixing with blood as they slid down Beelzebub’s cheek as ze brought the horses to a gallop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry!!! I’m sorry!!! I’m sorry!!! 
> 
> This second half hadn’t been written but it was planned. Luca reappearance. He had a purpose. Even before Brontis (from the Italy arc) had appeared as a traitor to the rebels’ cause, I had plans for Luca Giordano to come back. I just...didn’t know it was going to be this way. I hadn’t wrote that he was more vain and remained under Asmodeus’s Sin until Bee and Gabe spoke about it before Lucifer reappeared and ever since things have...percolated. There is so much more to this awfulness, and I’m sure you’re wondering...I’d love to hear your theories. 
> 
> This story has probably seemed really slow burn, and with everything Gabriel and Beelzebub have dealt with it may seem like it’s mostly baby stuff (babies are a lot of work y’all! Even in writing! Liatris was supposed to be a blip and done but there was...so much that developed with them. Like children do.). Because of it though...it gave more of a stable story to bring back Luca for more, and bring more hurt. And I am so very sorry. Please don’t hate me. This story has given me a whole different anxiety. LIKE WOW! 
> 
> Gabriel...hasn’t actually slept to sleep before he started sleeping to sleep and not do work and dream for himself (words much?). And so, with the way it felt like more memory and realistic to him, and then the whole interaction in the dream feeling a bit more important even before he could piece it together and see Bee was marked, believing Bee was going to feel violated and angry, Gabe needs a hug. Bee needs a hug. I would love to leave them back in bed and cuddling with their baby but that’s not what this sordid story is about. It blew up...O_O 
> 
> A bit more of science time! I know I put in a lot of work with the chamomile and lavender which are natural remedies for reducing anxiety and regulating your pulse to be a little calmer. I also shared Spiraea plant, which is the base of aspirin, bergamot which is an anti-inflammatory, horehound was very commonly used to help open airways. 
> 
> Ginger is great for a lot of things, reduces nausea, relieves cold/flu symptoms, reduces gas, and reduces inflammation. The list goes on. I am addicted to tea and for a time I had to stop drinking it and replace it with ginger and lemon because a lot of different tea leaves have caffeine in it (I don’t drink coffee, the world would be doomed if I did). So yeah, it helps with a lot of things. 
> 
> CHOCOLATE. Anyone dealing with menses should absolutely have the darkest chocolate possible (without sacrificing their tastes, of course) for several reasons. It introduces a ton of potassium into your body, which is great for muscles to loosen up and helps alleviate cramps. It also contains antioxidants and magnesium which helps serotonin and levels moods. 
> 
> Dear readers who have to deal with menses, I encourage chocolate! 
> 
> Beelzebub would KNOW all these things and would have been dying to have chocolate because HORMONES! But the reason ze would not take it is for several reasons; the amount of caffeine in chocolate is pretty high, then there is the fat and sugar content, which Bee wouldn’t be too keen on having because ze have to breastfeed Liatris. Because ze don’t know how well zir body works (because of that whole damnation and rotting issue) ze are afraid to take anything that ze can’t really use to give the baby and converting is a lot of work and expended energy. Poor thing! Bee deserves chocolate and not have to deal with hormones...or not cockblock zirself from banging zir very bangable husband. 
> 
> Also, I don't know about you but I fully believe the phrase "Assholes and elbows" would be "arseholes and angels" to demons. 
> 
> I nearly forgot, there is some really terrible words in here in Italian. Luca is calling Bee a treacherous hermaphrodite, and there are so many reasons why that is a HUGE AWFUL THING! Don’t fucking dare call anyone that or your trash. But there are also notes that you can look up about it’s meaning through history, and writing. So...just a note. I thought I had written that out in my notes before I put them in the bar, turns out I didn’t. I’m sorry.
> 
> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Tell me it’s all going to be alright? I know that’s kind of backwards, in a sad/hilarious way as I should be telling YOU that it’s all going to be alright, but Jesus, take the wheel! Comments ensure I don’t cry (I actually really enjoy reading your comments and replying, everyone writes really nice things and I like hearing what you pick up and enjoy or even hate), con-crit helps me write better or go back and clarify my mistakes, song suggestions are just great. I’m going to try and put ones up at the top and really would still appreciate your suggestions. 
> 
> As always, stay safe and sane in these trying times. <3


	30. The Destructive Force of Woe & Agony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub and Gabriel are hit hard after their encounter with Luca Giordano and go off into the night to seek refuge. 
> 
> Beelzebub is left in distress, both in body and in spirit, distraught over new revelations over the baby ze had never meant to give so much of zirself to save and protect. 
> 
> Gabriel is trying to focus on taking care of their wounds despite his strange wounds inflicted by the Damned that sought to take the child. 
> 
> They need comfort. Who better to take from than the other?...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Body horror. Blood and ROT! I tried to be careful as to how I described Beelzebub’s injury and wrote less on how Liatris was affected. DUBIOUS CONSENTUAL SITUATION somewhere in the middle...Yes it’s in the middle of being gross and kind of...rotting, so I’m giving a heads up. Bee very nearly does have a melt-down. A very deserved melt-down. 
> 
> Spoiler: LIATRIS IS IN PAIN BUT THEY’RE OKAY! 
> 
> I would like to apologize for the wait on this chapter, there was...a lot going on. 
> 
> Music rec for this chapter is: Guilty from Anna Tsuchiya and Heaven or Hell from Digital Daggers

Beelzebub had rushed them through the night, immediately settling Liatris in Gabriel’s arms, tersely demanding him to keep conscious. The town’s gate wasn’t far and the three were able to abandon the cart and human. The demon pulled the angel to his feet and willed the horse to continue onward. 

In their tumultuous state they sought refuge through the streets, weary of every dark corner and alley; however, though on high alert, it did little to avert Beelzebub’s mind from the painful reunion and revelations learned. 

Beelzebub hadn’t allowed much for injury as when ze fought previously, zir burn completely unanticipated. Ze wanted to get and keep the enemys’ attention, True, but ze had planned to get them all under zir thumb and dealt with quickly. Too much was at stake and ze had intended to get answers. For zirself. For Gabriel. To maybe put a stop to whatever connection Liatris had to a still evasive plot, destroy the binding sigil in the act and save them, IF ze could extract any info. Luca had been an unknown variable, thinking him more pawn that big player, and left zir and those ze Lo...Beelzebub found zirself in ruins... 

He had turned out to be... 

Liatris was... 

-No. No. No. NO! 

Zir stomach was in knots and roiling and zir pulse was unable to drown out the crying of the small baby, who was not supposed to be. Blood and tears ran down zir cheeks and ze felt like something precious had been stolen from zir. Ze wished ze could still feel the vicious bite of zir fire, could have let it encompass zir and zir alone. Spare Liatris... 

If what Luca had said was True, if what he whispered and poisoned zir ear with was fact, he had rubbed salt in a wound that had only festered over time. Ze nearly prayed to the air around zir to make it false; but being a demon Lies were far too easy to detect and Luca had, at the very least, believed each utterance of every word he spewed. 

It was a smack to the face to know the bastard had survived and gotten away. Zir own fault that he got away. Zir fault that Liatris had gotten caught in the crossfire. Zir blessed fault that the baby was wailing from zir infernal burning. Ze had become too weak. The Prince of Hell wanted to shriek into the skies and demand from Her, knowing She could have protected her sheep. Believing She liked to watch all suffer. 

Fury at Her and zirself crossed with despair. 

Beelzebub was left feeling so fucking lost and tired without the chance to allow zirself to work through it. Zir mind kept screeching that the Almighty could screw Herself and Her plans for letting this happen to one of Her angels who trusted Her too much. Ze were ready to take a blade to the one who created zir, knowing ze would perish for zir audacity but SO willing to go out that way, as it would mean zir fury would be known without a doubt and zir own two feet would have made it that far. 

But ze were cowed and tired...unable to protect a baby from a horde of lowly demons and Damned souls. And Luca had... 

Ze wanted to burn the world down to destroy Luca and all the atrocities he had brought into it. It was surprising to see his strength had increased, and having his depraved words ring True that no demon could deny...And it made sense, he had become a major benef...If ze survived this, no matter what the outcome, Beelzebub was going to kick the ever-Loving shite out of Asmodeus for turning Luca into one who’s master Sin was Lust. 

Every Fallen was not a Lifebearer, but nearly every human had started off by Her design to be most likely to contain seed or egg to propagate the species; though not all. Those turned didn’t change much in their corruption, their corporations and souls functioned differently through their new Damnation, but NOT THAT DIFFERENT. And Luca had apparently kept his abilities. And because of that had managed to use it for whatever it was his lot was playing at. 

-Fucking USED us! Took from all of us. 

Ze could feel how badly the last drain had been on zir even still and feeling worse after the fight. However, ze KNEW ze should have been able to stop the bastard and yet he had managed to keep up with zir, even if only just so. The demon knew the instance ze were met with Luca’s hand able to cut zir that ze would have to be weary. When ze saw that Gabriel was being overwhelmed, noticing the strange blades dealing more damage than they should have, ze went to him and Liatris and used up more of zir energy to perish them beyond the reaches of Heaven and Hell and existence, saving those ze needed to protect. It had taken more out of zir than ze could afford to let on. And it didn’t take Luca Giordano out. 

And then he further shocked the Prince when he reflected zir attack back on zir. Beelzebub was left in fear, Liatris’s crying was too desperate. The baby was human, and rot belonged to Death and the Prince and ruled the human corporation. 

Before ze could sink any further into zir thoughts ze noticed a small hovel tucked away between houses. Smaller than the others and completely dark, smelling of a staleness and dust that only crept into a place uninhabited. 

They burst through the door, desperate to finally have sanctuary and heal their wounds, save the child that wasn’t theirs. Luckily, Beelzebub was no longer dragging the Messenger who had mostly healed up, Gabriel getting closer and closer to his usual state. Ze’d have to look at his wounds, as even still ze could feel one still spilling his blood over zir fingers... 

“Put your barrier up.” And Beelzebub propped his back against the bed and lay the child out before ze cut open a new vein on zirself to fortify zir own as ze cast it out. Ze felt pressure build up and a pounding in zir temples as the blood left zir wrist and was shocked to feel Gabriel clamp a hand over zir new wound and had to pull him off, telling him to “Let it be, Mezzenger.” 

Ze worked meticulously and carefully, peeling away Liatris’s wrap all the while trying to ease their pain with words ze felt were worthless. Fearful and guilt-wracked of the extent of wounds ze had caused the little one, next came away the not as damaged baby gown ze had painstakingly sewn and embroidered for their protection, a crack to its fibers revealing where the rot had spread. With the damaged wrap, torn and decaying around their small form it was quickly apparent the degree of damage inflicted by Beelzebub’s fire, and the demon called out to the Messenger for his attention, hardly able to breathe. 

“I’m right here-Good Lord, Almighty!” 

“Gabriel, pleazze hurry!” 

The Archangel of the Dawn got to work on the tiny one that had a large patch of seared rot on their shoulder all the way down to their leg on one side. The baby was frantic and limbs spasmodic, pain evident, and wailing throughout. The only thing that could have been keeping Liatris Alive or from going into shock had to have been Gabriel, or whatever the Hell it was that the angel and demon had accidentally done with combining their essence within the child. Beelzebub leaned close and tried to use zir unnaturally cold hands to cool the child’s feverish body down. Dread and guilt made a potent mix to keep zir hands and heart unsteady. 

-I should have been more careful! I’m so sorry, little lamb! I’m sorry! 

Ze were making stilted cooing noises to try and distract the child, ze didn’t blame the wailing one for their cries. Gabriel’s brow was knit in concentration and his eyes didn’t leave the small form as he worked. Not a word passed his lips and Beelzebub felt responsible for the turmoil in his eyes, too. 

Ze couldn’t swallow down the awful feelings...They were overwhelming zir in ways ze cursed and blessed and knew they shouldn’t affect zir... 

It took time, Liatris thankfully being so small and moldable by Divine Essence and, even though it was awful, the fires had only tasted their skin, the child was healed, and Gabriel took the baby in his massive arms and breathed out a sigh of relief that translated to the child. They almost immediately quieted to a cry that spoke to Gabriel of pain and confusion but able to accept comfort. Even Beelzebub felt it on some level and ze couldn’t keep the sigh from escaping zir tiny lips, all but collapsing against the bed. 

“You’re okay, Liatris. You’re okay.” He said almost to convince himself. Beelzebub felt weary and startled as ze felt one of Gabriel’s hands encompass one of zirs, squeezing it as to reassure zir. “We’re okay.” 

He kept saying the same thing over and over and Beelzebub desperately wanted to believe it, but ze were resistant to everything he said when ze knew better. Crying out in zir mind that it was all zir fault that they were hurt in the first place. He pulled zir over to him and they huddled around Liatris and cried quietly, rocking the tiny child. The Demon Prince couldn’t draw zir emotions back enough to stop and the Archangel had no care to contain his own. In at least the celestial’s opinions it was no one else’s business, no one would say a word. The two stayed where they were and kept cradling the baby, saying words to the little one and each other. Beelzebub kept one hand on the side of zir face that was burned, fearing how Liatris would react on seeing zir mangled features as they kept reaching out for zir, touching zir face. Gabriel took notice and realized it bothered the Prince but when he went to touch zir where it was the worst ze pulled away. 

“Bee, your turn.” 

“You need to rezt, Love.” 

“No. I need to take care of you first. And don’t tell me ‘no’ because it’s apparent you’re hurt. Liatris will need you very soon, you have to be ready. They just went through a lot just now and...your corporation isn’t in a state it needs to be.” He set the child down carefully on the bed again, folding the end of the blanket to create a barrier from the edge. Clearly in a scattered state of mind, Gabriel fidgeted and then took Beelzebub’s hands and placed them over Liatris’s tummy and head, smiling a little weird smile at zir before seeking out a cloth and water basin to at least wipe them down. He looked so haggard and fatigued the demon worried, seeing the slashes of his clothing and stains of gold on his person caused zir to reach out to take hold of him. 

“Your woundzzz haven’t healed well enough.” 

“I’m okay. It's just taking more time. Whatever they stabbed me with, the daggers, were different. Managed to snag one before you picked me up.” He shrugged as he handed a jagged unfinished blade over, before turning to get Liatris settled and bopped the child’s nose. The baby took hold of Gabriel’s offending hand and tried with all their baby might to nibble on them despite teary eyes and huffs. “It burned...” 

The demon turned the tarnished metal over in zir hand and tried to make heads or tails of it. Ze were surprised and pleased Gabriel had managed to grab it but were certain that ze didn't know what it was. All ze knew was that it felt hot in zir hands when it should have been cold. 

“You must let me zee. We need to know you’ll be alright.” 

“Not what we’re doing. You first. You have burns all over you.” 

“I know it’zz dizguzting but z’not a priority. We don’t know what happened to you. It could be dangerouzz for you.” 

He shook his head and cut zir off, finding his fingers grazing the edges of wounds that should not have been on zir or the baby in his opinion. “I think it looks painful, that’s all. Not disgusting. You are not disgusting.” 

“Ztop being zuch an ang...nevermind. Ztop being a git and let me zzee your woundzz, Mezzenger. Take it off.” Ze glared at him and he could see there was no room for argument, not because of zir usual angry glint but because of the fear that had reared its head within zir Heavenly blue eyes. “Now. Off.” 

-Not the way I’d like to have taken off my clothes for you, but... 

“If you insist, your Highness.” 

Lithe angry hands were already at his coat and white knuckled as though ready to tear it to shreds. He helped zir slip off the first layer and moved closer than he intended as he shrugged out of it. 

He kissed zir button nose and it crinkled in disgust, eyes beginning to regain the usual fierceness to them. 

“Arzzze.” 

“Brat.” 

Zir eyes rolled and zir face turned from him as ze folded the coat and tucked it into a satchel. “We have to wash up and go.” Zir fingers found the holes in his shirt and zir grimace deepened and zir eyes flicked to his before ze tugged at the damaged garment, a silent request for consent. It was up and zir hands followed. Once over his head Gabriel’s lips found zir cheek, just over a patch of burned rot, which had not touched zir eyes. 

“Baztard.” 

“Does this hurt?” He asked worriedly, hand cupping zir face and his thumb barely grazed the surface of it. It felt surprisingly smooth like he had remembered the first time touching zir damaged face, almost like it had stopped after impact, almost more of a scar. He watched as Beelzebub’s eyes fluttered closed and zir brow knit. Ze shook zir head and mumbled ze were used to it, before Gabriel pulled zir back to kiss over it. It didn’t gross him out as he knew it should have. He just didn’t want it to hurt. 

“You’re zo fucking zztrange.” 

Ze very suddenly needed to avoid looking at the half-dressed angel looking at zir as he was. Not that he wasn’t pleasing to look at. On the contrary, Beelzebub was reminded again of how much Gabriel looked like his body was meant to be worshiped; with his stupidly perfectly smooth skin, his toned musculature that really served no purpose for any ethereal being, and how his waist tapered into that perfect V shape into those tight pants. Blood and wounds and he still looked too perfect to the demon. Ze focused on the blood that had stained everyone and landed sight on the baby...feeling guilt kick again at zir hollowed heart. 

He took hold of zir again and pulled zir back to the present. 

“Tell me what makes it feel better. Tell me how to touch you like this.” 

That left zir feeling so strange and confused and kind of tingly, it was once more something ze had never been asked. And it frustrated zir enough to push him away and scowl. But with his fingers on zir body, and the fact that he had been the one to be injured badly, ze pulled him right back, hands feeling dwarfed as they landed on his broad firm chest. Ze couldn’t help but think you could bounce a coin off his perfectly defined tits and suppressed the urge to...Heavens and Hells ze suddenly had a whole list of things ze wanted to do to that angel’s chest, some of which ze weren’t even sure was legal by the church’s decree. Ze shook zirself out of zir mental stupor with a grunt and smacked his chest just hard enough out of frustration, regretting the action seconds after as ze felt things twitch within zir from the feel and sight. Gabriel didn’t even flinch. “Ztop acting-” 

“I don’t want to hurt you. Why is that so difficult for you to understand? You should be used to at least that by now.” He chuckled tiredly and grabbed Liatris’s little foot and frowned. “One of those bastards nearly broke Liatris’s leg.” 

Suddenly, Gabriel was inspecting every inch of the little bab again and running healing energy once more over their form. He felt a panic rise in him and hated that he felt like he could do nothing more. 

“Eazzzy, Gabriel. If they had anything broken, we’d know. Babiez don’t rezpond well to pain. And Liatris izz very good about exprezzing it.” 

“I couldn’t protect them.” 

“Zhut it. You did. They’re Alive and with uzzz. Look.” And ze directed the Archangel’s hands over the baby’s heart and felt it strong beneath their palm. Liatris was fairly unphased by that point and wiggled about and tried to grab fingers to gnaw on again. “Zee? If they hurt, they would not do ziz. Now let me zzee you, idiot. Keep the baby zafe by keeping you too, and whatever.” 

Ze pushed him upright and started running zir hands over him. He was a little dizzy but not from the wounds and blood loss. It was the first time ze had actually touched his bare body; someplace that wasn’t hand, wrist, or face. He watched as zir hands traveled slow and gently over his waist, back, then torso and tsked, “Thozze arzeholez made a pincuzzhion of you.” 

He grabbed zir chin and brought zir mouth to his and kissed zir fully. His other arm wrapped around zir and found no resistance as he pulled zir in, a pleased and aggravated buzz vibrated out of zir throat and he felt dizzy all over again. 

Ze huffed, pushing him away to finish zir inspection, ignoring how quickly zir insides fluttered at the act of a simple fucking kiss. That’s what ze kept telling zirself, anyway. The hand that wasn’t burned travelled over the indents of his abs, around the curve of it, fingernails grazing the indents and teasing the ridges of his body, circling one of the larger wounds. Shivers coursed through Gabriel and he took hold of zir elbows. 

“Bee, kiss me again...” 

Zir eyes went too wide and ze froze; however, there was no fear behind it, just shock. Again, ze shrugged it off and went back to inspecting Gabriel. As clear-headed as one can inspect what was essentially a god when coming off an adrenaline high that was...making things difficult. “You lozzzzt too much blood. Not thinking right. They hurt you badly...Zcared m...worrie...That zzhouldn’t have happened.” 

The Archangel looked at zir and really tried hard to keep from smiling at the fact that ze were touching him all over and saying things that sounded like CONCERN over him. Not worry that he would leave zir but concern for his well-being. It was intoxicating with every note of it in zir often stern voice. When ze put zir delicate hand over his chest he knew ze could feel his heart flutter. Zir hand was cold and he covered it and couldn’t help but enjoy how it was dwarfed by his own, feeling zir coldness seep into his chest and palm, all the while knowing his warmth was traveling up zir limb. 

Their heads bumped, nose to burned cheek, and he went to kiss zir again, “Ztop. You need to heal, you dumbfuck. Think thozze bladez muzt’ve done zomething to your brain.” 

“No. I just...really wanted to kiss you...I should have asked. Sorry.” He tilted his head in confusion and realized there was all sorts of things wrong with his actions. “That was inappropriate of me.” 

“Z’why I need you to sit down and rezt, ztupid. May have uzed too much energy to heal Liatris while your body iz zztill trying to correct itzzzelf.” Ze were still running zir fingers and now his damaged shirt over his wounds to blot up the blood, seemingly unphased. Secretly doing mental backflips and questioning WHY? Really loudly in zir head. And then he was lifting zir up to sit on the bed, next to the baby. 

“Off.” 

“What?!” 

“You’re turn. You need to be healed.” He was gently tugging on zir waist but not to remove it for zir. “I will be able to heal a lot quicker if I can concentrate. I won’t be able to if I can’t stop thinking about how my wife is hurt. It’s as I said, sunshine, you need to be healed and I need to know what I’m dealing with.” They eyed each other, sizing the other up, both knowing Gabriel was right. “Let me see.” 

He stayed on his knees, but he was so tall they were almost eye level anyway. He could see zir bodice was already hanging open, rotted and threadbare from the magic wielded against the Prince; even the stays and chemise beneath had been ruined. He could just see the peak of rotten flesh behind. It was bad. 

He looked up to find Beelzebub’s eyes held that uncertain fear, calculating the moment’s outcome, but remained stone-faced. 

“We need to know how much of you is damaged.” 

“Ziz iz..I naturally rot-” 

“Stop stalling, Bee. Liatris will need you.” 

“I...I know...” Ze bit zir lip and started to tug away the top layers and Gabriel remained still. With each piece discarded, handed to the angel to fold and put in a growing pile by his side, he could feel zir tremble more with each shred peeled off. He felt awful and kept trying to reinforce that he wouldn’t hurt zir. Once down to zir chemise, he felt the guilt amplify, the fairly sheer material left little to the imagination as to the deterioration that ruined zir body. The contrasting colors seeped through as much as the dark blood stains. 

With a final flip of zir eyes upwards and a small determined grunt, Beelzebub drew open the front of zir ruined undergarment and let it spill off zir shoulders. Down to zir waist. 

The decay wrought havoc wide, slipping from the side ze took most damage and slithering over to the other. 

One shoulder looked so completely scorched where ze had taken the brunt of it, it slipped up zir neck to cheek and down zir chest. Over the small curve of zir bosom, caved in pock marks of flesh, blackened ribbons spooling striations down zir torso, all the way down and across zir stomach. A gash under one of zir breasts followed the curve of zir up into zir armpit and darkened further there. Bruising that should only have belonged on a corpse riddled zir stomach and breasts, there was a dark purple one that appeared to slip down below zir navel, to where zir thighs met, but the fabric covered the rest from view. 

Ze knew ze looked awful, and with everything that happened, what Luca had said about zir body so plainly for all to hear, ze were extremely uncomfortable. Beelzebub wasn’t as vain as Gabriel but ze knew ze were vain enough and hated looking as wretched as ze did. Ze didn’t enjoy looking as awful on the outside as ze felt on the inside, nor wished to see Gabriel recoil in disgust as ze believed he would...ze knew zirself well but didn’t want to handle how the perfect angel would react to knowing zir...In Beelzebub’s opinion, it was always best to draw the line clearly on zir own, first. 

“You muzt find me unzzeeem-” 

“I’m just going to see where it ends, okay, Bee? TELL ME if it hurts. Got that?” 

Gabriel didn’t even flinch as he worriedly took zir in. He moved to find the extent of the decay, timidly inspecting it, stopped roughly around zir back, gnarled and angry. He frowned at the marring of zir flesh that he was certain was partly his fault, having zir come to his aid and lose focus on Luca. It was evident that the damage was extensive, but Beelzebub clearly did not like what ze HAD to submit zirself to. 

“I’m sorry, I should have-” 

“Don’t apologizze for thingz zhat aren’t your bloody fault. It’z mine. All of ziz. Don’t be zo full of yourzelf and juzt get ziz over with.” Zir face locked up and the Messenger took a deep breath and steeled himself. 

“At what point was this your fault?!” 

“Liatrizzz. I wazzz carelezzz and becauzzze of-” 

“Enough of this. You and I were put in a bad position and clearly Luca-...That bastard did something that neither of us anticipated.” 

“We ZHOULD HAVE.” Liatris wailed and both ethereals flinched before leaning over and easing their fright, Beelzebub whispering soft apologies and Gabriel feeling zir guilt practically choking him, he couldn’t imagine how ze were able to keep it in for so long. Their long night was only getting longer and more frazzling. Eventually, Gabriel sat up and took hold of Beelzebub’s arm to pull zir upright. 

“Let’s refocus so we can move on, we can’t let this overwhelm us again or we’ll get nowhere. Tell me where I can touch you. This is going to take a lot, especially since it’s not superficial.” 

“Would it be better if I...” Zir voice shifted further into uncertainty, laced with a panic that Gabriel could easily sense from his infernal counterpart despite zir almost blank face. He remained still, his whole face reflecting his own panic openly. He opened his arms, letting Beelzebub decide how to do this. It was a lot different when they both weren’t wearing much, even if ze were so badly hurt. Neither expected zir to slide awkwardly off the bed into his lap, fumbling legs on each side of him. 

Straddling him. 

Zir eyes were as wide as saucers and nearly scrambled back off him, making him take hold of zir petite naked frame, his hands spanning most of the small of zir back. He could feel it in zir pulse, see it on zir face, in zir eyes, see it in the way zir bare and damaged chest rose and fell too quickly. Fingers roamed across the plains of his tiny adversaries back and he could feel the old handprint burn scar that lay there and ze flinched. 

“I’ll not hurt you. I promise.” He had to steady his own breathing. And he drew zir close. “Please, trust me.” 

He wrapped zir arms around his neck and lay zir across his frame, as though they were simply hugging. He carefully slid his hands down zir arms to zir sides, uncertain if he needed them closer to the wounds or if they were best on zir back in this case. He felt zir shiver then felt Beelzebub’s eyelashes flutter against his neck and zir breath brush against the skin there. He felt his heart stop. 

He quietly told zir what he was going to do and kissed zir ear. 

Beelzebub’s pulse was too erratic and zir fear too palpable still, making him want to ease zir. The angel had to focus so he wouldn’t use up his energy carelessly. Not when he would need more later, for himself, then when he would need to lay hands on zir again when they would feed Liatris. So instead he rocked zir body in his arms. 

However, he had not accounted for how that would feel against his own corporation. To feel zir bare chest brush against his, zir hips to shift in such a way over him, even if it was zir damaged cold skin. Gabriel pointedly ignored it and tried to start by rubbing circles on zir back. He breathed out a sigh of relief when he felt zir relax a little more. “Dearest one, you’re okay with me. I promise you are safe.” 

They continued to rock and Beelzebub nuzzled zir face in Gabriel’s neck and took a deep breath. Lips found his pulse and Gabriel sighed from that now familiar touch. Beelzebub’s arms didn’t seem capable of slackening so ze went from clutching at zir elbows to digging zir fingers into his shoulders. Feeling the imprint of zir, flesh to flesh, and Gabriel took hold of a small hand and massaged it. 

Gabriel pressed his cheek against zir unruly curly hair and felt as ze pressed back. 

He brought his hand up and caressed zir cheek, where it hid that apple-like peak beneath marred skin smoothing out as he passed over it. His other hand slid down to the small of zir back and he could feel each knot of zir spinal column. He marveled at how small ze were, how defined the bones were as ze had curled up against him all while knowing ze were terrifyingly powerful, that ze trusted him enough to hold zir in such a state. He traced the path on zir soft skin slowly, carefully. He swept his fingers back up, after finding Beelzebub had relaxed a bit more and continued his circuit, all the while still rocking. 

He heard zir muffle a moan against his neck and felt as ze stiffened when he moved the heels of his hands to trace the lines of zir ribs. His face felt like it was on fire and he felt as Beelzebub’s grip tightened on him and zir cheek pressed up against his. 

“Did I hurt you?” 

“No. I-I feel ztrange, Gabriel...” Zir whispered, breath rasping in a quiet pant. “...feel dizzzzy...” 

-Oh, your buzz is making me dizzy, Bee. Holy harps! 

He adjusted zir tiny body over his and felt a shiver rip through one of them, he wasn’t sure who. He felt his Effort become impossibly rigid and cursed himself for being unable to stop it. Delicate fingers clenched into him again, and a buzz purred from zir chest against him. He felt his hair stand on end and his cock twitched. They adjusted again. Shifting. Changing the movement. 

“Just relax, Bee. Let me take care of you.” His own breathing was coming out erratically, pressing his lips against zir ear. He could feel zir practically vibrating and yet he felt he couldn’t stop moving zir small body over his. “You’re safe with me. I promise.” 

Hands began to travel, his thumbs traced a wound that spanned just below zir ribcage and felt as the flesh reknit, making the demon moan. Zir own moved into his hair and he shivered as he felt zir fingernails scrape over his scalp. He sighed, trying to keep his energy focused but it was so very hard... 

Beelzebub’s own mind wasn’t fairing any better. The energy he was using on zir always made zir feel fuzzy and odd, and then...Zir body felt as though it were hot and zir bare heaving chest kept pushing against Gabriel’s and made zir feel sparks of pain as it healed and...something ze didn’t think ze could bear to acknowledge. 

And when one of his hands went to the base of zir neck and Beelzebub felt his breath come in too quickly, zir head felt as though it were spinning. Ze leaned into him, hand weaving through his silver tresses, and dug zir fingers into his shoulder for some form of stability. One of Gabriel’s hands betrayed him and latched onto zir hip – that sharp little hip that he couldn’t help palm as he gripped it – and he groaned hoarsely. 

He felt like his pulse was thundering in his ears! 

The heat between zir thighs had been followed by the slickness of zir arousal, sending panic through zir. Ze were desperate to stop, ze felt as much as an abomination as ze were supposed to be. They weren’t supposed to be doing this. It made zir feel awful because ze should not be touching him as so. Ze remembered how he had thought he hurt zir, how he looked terrified that he had touched zir in his dreams. And now ze were stealing pleasure from him while zir body was showing as damaged as it was, rutting against his body like a bitch in heat. But ze couldn’t stop... 

Ze were sick of zirself and moved with him, against him, with the strange rhythm Gabriel had established, drawing a little sigh from the Messenger’s lips that sent its own sparks right down into Beelzebub’s core and everything in zir corporation thrummed. Ze pulled away enough to feel his breath hit zir bare skin and ze shivered and, as ze shifted against him again, crashed back into his chest. 

The Archangel moaned again, too loudly, and zir hand found his mouth, his lips, zir shaking fingers felt the hot breath that escaped his lungs. His hand took hold of zir wrist and clung to it as though it was the only thing tethering him to the World. 

The tether! That Damned and Blessed tether that they felt when in the other’s presence felt like it was choking. 

Each breath between them was like adding fuel to the fire, pulling that unseen tether tighter. Flashes of pain, panic, and a bizarre euphoria assaulted both ethereals senses. 

“Gabriel!” 

“Bee. I’ve got you, you’re safe. We’re safe.” 

“Gabe-” 

“I’m right here, dearest.” 

“Angel, pleazze-” 

“Tell me what you need me to do. Tell me how to touch you.” 

Ze felt his lips brush zir throat and turned, feeling as though ze had been set alight but not by Heavenly nor Infernal fires. Zir skin felt damp and ze could feel Gabriel’s heart thumping against zir chest, almost in time with zir own. At that juncture between zir legs ze could feel zir own need pulse…his own body reacting in kind, with his rigid throbbing answer. 

Ze couldn’t breathe properly. 

“Bella…please…” 

His large hands grasped zir waist and ze felt the pads of his fingertips dig in just enough to make zir simper… 

Zir nose bumped his… 

He whispered zir name again nearly kissing zir mouth, and it sent chills down zir spine and ze felt another pleasant shock… 

Gabriel slid deft fingers over zir spine then shifted zir closer. The friction of zir bare cunt over his hardened length made it clench, making zir feel too empty, and ze pressed harder against him. 

A soft groan escaped his lips and ze wanted to nip at him but bit zir own instead, growling in anger at zirself, trying to halt another moan threatening zir. But it was deep and throaty even in the back of zir throat and Gabriel met zir forehead with his own, bending to his desires, shifting zir over him again. Ze were quivering and arching, his hand splaying flat against the small of zir back, causing zir to cant zir hips… 

And against all rational, the Prince didn’t want to fight it anymore, ze wanted to lean in closer to him. To take more from him. 

Ze shifted up and away just enough to grab the front of his breeches and tore at them, zir trembling slight hands frantically struggled to pull the fabric wider to reach within. Gabriel helped steady zir and moaned in anticipation of what was to come next, helping zir when things began to get too chaotic in the scuffle... 

They were too clumsy, and Beelzebub couldn’t take it any longer and grabbed his face and kissed him with such force that the two nearly teetered backwards. Gabriel caught zir, wrapping zir shaking frame up in his arms and meeting zir kiss for kiss, messy and needy and it felt like it had been years since they had last kissed, though the one shared in the park had only been nearly four weeks. 

It had felt too long to Gabriel too; those secret kisses in the night had been missed and hadn’t occurred since before they had last moved. He feared he had fucked up, frightened his wife and zir secret affections away. He wouldn’t rush zir but he felt a heady craving well up and he wasn’t sure if was from zir or him, he pulled zir back just enough to kiss zir lips chastely, zir bloody but no longer wounded cheek, zir forehead, then zir lips were on his again. 

Gabriel leaned zir back against the bed and deepened the kiss, shifted to press against zir and earning another pleased buzz that rumbled in zir chest. He shifted to hold zir bottom up and went to finish pulling open his breeches... 

And what sounded like an indignant squawk erupted from the tiny form on the bed, stopping both immediately in their actions. 

Beelzebub abruptly fell away from Gabriel in a flash, breathing far too hard. Gabriel, just as hard, eyes laden with desire and fright and worry but he steeled his features, biting his lip, and took his coat to drape over the diminutive Prince who could wear it like a blanket. 

-At least she’s been fully healed. 

He couldn’t dismiss the look of shock and horror in zir eyes, how ze gasped for breath. How confused eyes darted around the room and how zir legs seemed to fight to right themselves. He watched as ze finally got to zir knees and threw zirself at the bed to get to the baby. 

-What is WRONG with me?! 

“We zzhouldn’t...I zzh-I zzzhould wazh them. We need to go.” 

“Right. Of course.” 

As ze drew the baby carefully into zir arms and stumbled, limbs like jelly, Gabriel rushed to catch zir and the baby. “Easy. Sorry. Ease. Let me handle the baby for now, you need to take a moment. I’m sorry, Bee. I’m so sorry.” He tried to right zir but instead ze collapsed on the bed and zir head met his stomach and ze choked back a sound Gabriel never wanted to hear from zir again. 

He stood, frozen. Part in anger at himself and part his own fear, baby in his arms, but Beelzebub wouldn’t let go of the angel and buried zir face against him. 

“Please, forgive me...” 

“No.” 

“I understand...” 

“No, you don’t. You really fucking don’t. You’ve done nothing wrong. I was being foolizzzzh. Foolish.” Ze choked out but dared not let go, nor look at him. 

“I’ve hurt yo-” 

“You didn’t! I juzzzt-We have to keep our witz about us, Love. Inztead, I nearly fuck everything up by doing everything one ZHOULD NOT be doing after fazzing an enemy, by nearly zhagging my-an-” 

“Husband.” 

Ze finally looked at him like he had decided to show his wings in the tiny room. 

“I’m your husband, Bee.” 

Ze looked like ze were going to collapse in on zirself like a little star turning into a blackhole. “...I know who you are! However, that doezn’t make what we nearly did...” 

“It’s not wrong for a husband and wife to be...intimate. If both are willing. But I don’t think you’re willing.” 

“Zizz izzzz not-...” Ze growled and threw zir hands over zir face, anger and upset and pain marring zir whole body. “Ztop zzaying thezze thingzzz!” The baby gave a little cry and ze looked uncertain as to whether to touch Liatris or not “Forgive my actionzz, I’m all wrong. I-I'm not right...I’m...” Ze tried to get it out but ze were shaking and tried to stop zir body from coming apart. Ze looked so angry at zirself. And terrified. Gabriel couldn’t help but think it seemed like it was Beelzebub’s turn with the panic. Not that he, himself, wasn’t panicking. He got down on his knees again and – after stalling and trying to decide if this was the best course of action – haphazardly brushed zir hair from zir face before taking one of zir hands in his and resting it on Liatris’s little tummy, making the little human wrap their small limbs around them and fidget with fingers amidst little whimpers. 

“Whoa. No. No. You are not all wrong. I mean, you are a demon, but that’s part of you. You’re not all wrong. There’s nothing wrong with you when you are you. That’s what makes you you.” If ze weren’t so upset ze’d have laughed in his face after listening to the confused mess of words that came out of who was supposed to be the most eloquent Messengers of angels, according to all man-kind. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

“Gabriel, you didn’t harm me. What’zz thiz buzzinezzzz. Bizzz-worry about hurting me. You didn’t. You zhouldn’t care-Ztop.” Ze gently pushed him away and simultaneously used his arm to stand. Ze took the small child and went to the wash basin. “How could I be zzzzo ZTUPID.” 

“Bee...” 

“Pleaze, angel, finish healing yourzelf. Now. We need to get cleaned up and go.” Ze stared at him until zir face contorted and twitched. “Z’not zafe. We need to go.” 

“Can we talk? When we get to the next location?” 

“I think Death would be the only thing to keep you from zpeaking, Archangel.” Ze grumbled and he was suddenly in zir space, not quite invading and having to ease zir nerves with his hands up. 

Gabriel then ran a large hand over Liatris’s tiny little head, which they tried to see and made tired baby whimpers. They stayed that way and the demon watched as the angel soothed the tiny being’s state, looking destroyed as his fingers gently followed the small trail of blood from an injury to their skull they had had inflicted in their fight. He felt so guilty as did Beelzebub. Zir hand went to his face and stroked his bloody cheek, mentally cursing their state. Then Gabriel’s eyes were turned to Beelzebub and he leaned into it. 

“Of course you can...I wouldn’t if you tell me no. But I do think we should.” 

“We have zo many izzzz...problemz.” 

He made a face, nodded as he said, “But who better to work through these problems, than us?” 

Ze crashed into him, pressing zir forehead against his lips as his arms wrapped around zir, but after a long minute ze smacked his arse hard and ze growled at him trying to pull away. 

“Ztop diztracting me, pain in the...really. You can do whatever you want if we can juzt get the Heavenzz out of here, Mezzenger.” 

That was what he wanted to hear; he pointed at zir with a half-hearted grin, a ghost of the one that ze always wanted to punch, and told zir ze just promised before kissing zir cheek. It wasn’t serious like the ones before, closer to playful, earning him another growl from his wife and made Liatris laugh and receive a few of their own as he spouted “Haven’t forgotten about you. Never, little lamb.” He planted one of the clean side of their face making more exuberant silly sounds of kisses that make babies laugh harder before leaning past them to warm up the water for Beelzebub and Liatris to use to wash up. He started washing his hands in another pail from nearby and started wiping his torso down and dealing with his already discarded and disheveled clothes. 

“Oh, I already regret this.” 

“You promised, fiend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT was a lot of mess............PLEASE don’t murder me for any of this. I didn’t mean to keep the update from people, there was just some things to work through and then...things happened that got me stuck in a head space I couldn’t get out of. Too much awfulness in this world and people forget words have power and meaning, remember that you can learn some pretty harmful stuff without realizing it. And if someone calls you out on it don’t try to dismiss it or make excuses. Think about it. Digest it. Challenge yourself. Someone tried to call you out for a reason. 
> 
> So yes. Check yourself. FUCKING CHECK YOURSELF. And learn. Live and learn and do better. 
> 
> I know sometimes I harp. You know this isn't the first time I've said to take care of each other. We all know it's more than simple steps of just "caring" and I won't apologize for it. It's also not being PC or a social justice warrior, it's just trying to be a fucking semi-decent human being and using common sense. 
> 
> Back on subject. 
> 
> These two need a hug. And some alone time. And a hug. Gabe’s a little....uuuuhhhhh distracted. Horny. Gabriel is horny for his wife, even if ze are a lot of a mess. Then again, so is Beelzebub. They both got distracted. And I teased again and I’m sorry! THEY WERE SO CLOSE AND BEE WAS THE ONE TO BREAK! 
> 
> BUT TO BE FAIR; Liatris kind of probably needed a bit more attention after what happened to them... 
> 
> Also...apparently the Archangel Fucking Gabriel gets kissy when he's hurt...it just seemed to flow and I let him run away.
> 
> I wrote the...near smut starting with Bee once again have a wardrobe and body issue that would require zir to get undressed. Again. And lead to the near smut because apparently blood lust just really works for these two, even if Bee’s more than a mess. There is psychology behind it that I don’t want to write here, but it’s a thing. 
> 
> I think that Gabriel isn’t phased by Beelzebub’s body horror issues because he knows who ze are, he thinks ze are in pain from what touching zir aura showed him (back when ze taught him how to conceal his aura in him), and that’s what bothers him. I haven’t explained how zir body is at all but it’s a mix of boils and sores and some rot, not as much as ze had in this chapter from the fire. 
> 
> I was pleased to expound just a little on theories about Luca in Bee’s little tumultuous thoughts. Ze can only do so much while trying to get Gabe and Liatris into safety, and zir mind goes a mile a minute so I got to show what Bee would know about why, without revealing what Luca whispered in zir ear. I do that a lot. Have someone whisper in Bee’s ear and never reveal more...I’m sorry. MAYBE one day I’ll reveal all the wicked little things Lucifer has whispered in the past, but what Luca said will be revealed. Just not in this chapter. Because I’m an arsehole. XD 
> 
> Music suggestions are loved! I have an addiction and I am not sorry and love cueing up what people think goes with the writing/chapter as I proofread things. It keeps me going. CON-CRIT is so very helpful and appreciated. We do not grow without learning as we go. Sometimes I am verbose and don’t always tidy things up, but I like getting if sections that didn’t make sense get pointed out so I can adjust and clarify. 
> 
> Tell me what you liked. Tell me what you hate. Tell me what may have made you cry and want to blame me (I am SO SORRY! This story is just angst, I didn’t mean for it to happen but ::gestures wildly at the himbo and little angry goblin:: they work well with angst and woe.), or little tid-bits you picked up on that have you intrigued...I want to know your theories or things you caught. I LOVE hearing from you and will reply back. I promise. 
> 
> STAY SAFE. STAY KIND. LEARN FROM THE WORLD! <3


	31. Withholding Key Terrors & Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two ethereal leaders are running away on empty with their charge, their mind and rational running from them as they can’t balance themselves. With a clearer picture of their foe, Beelzebub withholding what was said to zir on that dark night, the two try to deal with their shock and uncertainty. 
> 
> Meanwhile, the Archangel deals out a secret that even he didn’t know he held, but finds it inarguable and frightens the Demon Prince of Hell. 
> 
> What more do they have to deal with?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: minor self-mutilation, fugue state. Bee definitely panics and kind of has a melt down during this episode. Ze need a break. PTSD.
> 
> There is a LOT going on in here. What else is new? UUuuuhhh some things get addressed. Also something kind of fell out of Gabriel’s dialogue while he was talking, I looked at it, and went: “GREAT! YEAH! Not like they didn’t need to deal with other intimacy issues. That sounds about right though. I’ll keep it.”...Somedays I swear I look at Beelzebub and Gabriel and say “You can fit so much trauma and angst in these ethereals.” and run off before anyone can stop me, laptop in hand. I would like to write them just fucking. I HAVE written future snippets of them just fucking. In the Regency era. That's like...another century. I’m writing this at 1 am and questioning my sanity. 
> 
> I’ll give all this another read over and probably question some more but hopefully type out good corrections. We’ll see. No promises. 
> 
> Music suggestions for this chapter are: The first half is Out of Control feat. Rosi Golan from Oshins and the second is Lost in Paradise by Evanescence.

They didn’t stay in the next location for more than a day, nor the one after that. Or the one after that. There had been two metaphysically draining attacks on demon and child that had arisen on the trek from one town to the next. Dealt with on the brambles of the ground, deep in the forest. Gabriel had to carry his slight wife to help zir through the brush before they felt safe enough to try and alleviate the full brunt of the attack. However, Beelzebub ended up riding zirs out after the baby’s took hold and telling Gabriel to take care of them, staying as close as ze could, only to watch on as ze seized up. After that little fiasco, they searched for a body of water and Gabriel stood guard as ze handled clean up, despite Beelzebub’s insistence that they continue on their way as ze feared being exposed too long; however, the Archangel reasoned with zir that it was better for appearances and so that Liatris wouldn’t run a higher chance of getting sick. 

So ze had taken to it. And with every instance of tending to them, ze took great pains to be careful over where zir rotting fire had dug into them. Gabriel’s healing of them hadn’t left even a hint of a scar. It was gone and fully healed…but no matter if in the brightest of days or darkest of nights, Beelzebub felt as though ze could still feel it under zir unsteady fingertips…It made zir nervous to touch them. 

Afraid... 

Guilty... 

But, as they had been out in the open, ze swallowed down all of that because ze feared being caught far more. There wasn’t time to dwell. 

Both Gabriel and Beelzebub were too nervous and on edge to want to stay anywhere for long, nevermind on the road. Liatris was affected by their behavior as well, but each ethereal being tried their best to give the child comfort, much more than what they gave themselves. There wasn’t exactly a moment that the baby was put down for much longer than a change or wash; kisses were given in spades, and there was always a hand for them to nibble on. Bugsy had been washed and mended...Beelzebub finding them torn when retrieving him the first night from Gabriel’s satchel... 

And laughter was missing from those days, even from the small soul, making the angel saddened and the demon feel another layer of guilt. 

Paranoia had been an excellent motivator, making them forge a jagged path down the border by New York – not that either celestial or infernal really knew that, but knowing it wasn’t near the location of Sandalphon brought Beelzebub some relief. They just couldn’t stop looking over their shoulders or springing into defense at every strange sound, they had to get as far away as possible. Get lost. Another three more moves in as many days and they found a settlement that they felt secure enough to remain, in a place called Kent; or maybe they were just too haggard to continue on. 

They felt more secure after questioning people in the town square, asking if anyone suspicious or new had been noticed coming in. 

Beelzebub ended up surprised that Gabriel picked up that many were suspicious of the strange couple and supplied that he had wanted to know the land before investing in relocating. Telling any inquired with that he was looking for safe dwellings that would suit his wife who was new to the states, nervous for the growing child. 

Said growing child continually got curious and kept making baby gurgles, then grunts as they tried to wiggle their way out of the sling that cradled them against the Archangel’s chest, trying to look every which way in the world they didn’t know. Gabriel only smiled down at them, thankful to the Almighty that the little one was keeping up their strength and felt bad for having to keep them covered. Beelzebub would take initiative each time they tried to make a break for it, retrieve Bugsy and distract the little one enough to get them to settle. The offhanded obliviously affectionate display the humans would witness alleviated questioning glances and got them sharing that things had been more of the same and directed them to dwellings run by a refutable lady that left tenants well enough alone. 

The lodgings they found were just on the outskirts. It provided enough distance that Beelzebub felt comfortable that ze would be able to pick up the scent of another occult being and close enough to a beautiful garden that let the scent of flowers invade; spotting many of the medicinal ones that the demon had been relying on for both zir and Liatris. 

Once secured away, the two went about their work to fortify, for once able to settle without need to clean themselves – at least not more than one does on going inside – or clean the already tidy and comfortable abode. And in their state of shrugging off outerwear, even though Gabriel had been healed and checked on like the twentieth time, Beelzebub’s hand not cradling child to zir was spanning the length of Gabriel’s waist, making him stop all major movement. Not that he minded zir touching him at all. But he’d mind himself in these moments and allow zir investigation of him, trying not to watch zir. 

Ze had been randomly checking on him this way since the attack. Ze slowly forgot to demand that he let zir check and zir hands would snake around him, zir glare fierce and uncompromising as ze would pass zir hands over him, land zir fingers where ze seemed to have cemented into zir memory where his wounds had been. Ze’d press the pads of zir fingers to see if he’d feel anything and he’d make no comment, only then would he study zir stern features with his pretty purple eyes. 

Ze looked mad but said nothing. 

When ze seemed satisfied that he didn’t flinch and – even though ze knew his wounds had been closed the day after – no blood came away ze allowed him...to pull zir in. Ze growled out a gruff little grunt but Liatris launched themself at Gabriel and wouldn’t let go of the demon either. Strong tiny fingers kept them stuck together for a while, as only babies seem capable of latching their fingers like that, and Beelzebub had become far more careful in how they handled Liatris so ze didn’t try to pry them off. After some time, Beelzebub gave in and curled in tighter against the two and buried zir lips on the child’s forehead and wound a hand in Gabriel’s shirt. Feeling his lips in zir curls brought warmth and comfort ze would absolutely deny seeking and rested there. Trying to find some of their former comfort and balance. 

It wasn’t until Liatris seemed more interested in trying to talk to them in baby babble that they moved apart. The angel retrieving a newer brown book with flowery embossed cover that he had hidden away from the Prince to surprise zir with, something called Paradise Lost... 

“I heard that you were in it. Figured you could read it to Liatris later since you seem to like telling them about who you are, even if the humans don’t tell your story too well.” He said with one of his coy charming smiles making the demon blush at his words and actions, both. 

And, watching his infernal wife squirm, he took the child to change them and left zir to blink for a few more seconds as though to reboot. He saw zir whole body shiver and watched the pink go to zir ears and such a fierce angry pout was made, Gabriel nearly couldn’t keep from chuckling. 

When ze still couldn’t seem to get a hold of zirself Gabriel booped zir nose as he passed zir and watched zir nose twitch. When he went to hand zir back the baby, he seized the opportunity he saw and just as Beelzebub’s lips went to kiss the child’s face, he moved in feint, moving Liatris out of zir path and kissed zir instead. Zir frozen face went fiery red and when ze collected zirself ze smacked his hip, earning the first bubbling laugh from the baby since before the attack. 

The demon stalled and smacked the angel’s arse to watch the child laugh again as the angel jumped, face twisting in more smiles as the child giggled more, and zir features softened as ze shook zir head. 

“Give me the little lamb now. Lezz you want to end up more bruize than angel.” 

And without issue Gabriel passed along the child and told his wife that, “I can take it. But I think they’ll be wanting you in a bit.” 

The angel went and procured food from the house mistress, who seemed to know of the tiring woes of breastfeeding, who had brewed up a stew of bone broth and garlic and lentils, carrots, and a lean cut of beef for the Prince. Ze were so taken aback by this, finding zirself pleased despite zir weariness, that after feeding and then burping and cleaning Liatris ze quickly returned to Gabriel’s arms on the bed, slipped between his legs, pushed him against the pillows, and curled up to simply...be. Ze did tell him that ze didn’t want to hear a word from the Archangel, unless he intended to sing to them. However, that only made Gabriel a grinning fool who wrapped the two up and had less trouble picking out music he thought would be pleasing in his baritone and comforting to child and demonic wife. They eventually covered up as Beelzebub only seemed to try to burrow in the angel’s embrace. Ze seemed cozy and he would not disturb zir. 

And that was the first time Beelzebub had managed to fall asleep after the attack, which in turn had Liatris follow, and then even Gabriel. 

That’s how they would go to sleep each evening since. The demon clinging the child close and becoming more ball than human-shaped being, while ze would try to get as much of zir small frame to fit against the celestial as possible. But ze and the baby would twitch and sometimes whimper, each sleep seeming fitful and wrong, no longer content for even the child. But at the very least, Beelzebub kept some form of consciousness and would croon and caress the baby’s head or back, unless they awoke with full terrified cries. 

The poor baby had taken to fits of worried unrest that had both ethereals worried. Even awake, Liatris no longer kept as calm as they once had; the draining sickness never affecting them like now. 

The baby would become anxious and reach for one or the other, startle at strange sounds, not only waking up from night terrors. The Archangel could feel the demon’s heckles rise in concern each time and was lost to what solution was feasible. Trying to hide most everything of their otherworldly traits, and no miracles, they had little in options besides trying to rock and tend to them in very human ways. 

Sadly, Beelzebub also constantly needed reassurance and comfort when it came to the baby. Ze wouldn’t talk about it but it was apparent to Gabriel that ze couldn’t get over what had happened that night. 

Liatris had recovered from their burns, this much was True, but the poor thing would twitch at random when they touched the side that had been rotted and Beelzebub would become so still. And Gabriel felt his heart stall and convulse in pain and anger. Not at Beelzebub but at Luca for his actions, for somehow reflecting the attack back. For everything. 

The Archangel would watch as Beelzebub’s brow would furrow and zir pout would become more apparent, then ze would oftentimes retreat. He knew ze blamed zirself. And every time, Gabriel would bring Liatris over to zir, sit with zir, and show how it was that when Liatris was closer to the demon that the little one would relax; derive comfort from Beelzebub’s touch, then sit there and hold them both to him. Nearly every other day this would happen. 

And then Gabriel would ask questions... 

He couldn’t get out of Beelzebub what Luca had told zir, ze had become so tight lipped on the subject ze would take the baby and storm away to the farthest corner of the room ze could get from him. Zir movements were filled with a fear he felt was swallowing zir up, zir features would become so harsh and ze would stand stock still until Liatris would flop about. They would make all sorts of nervous baby noises and throw themselves at Beelzebub as though to beg zir attention and only then would ze snap out of it. Find something to do to soothe them. 

Bugsy usually became the key that the angel would retrieve and wave as a Peace offering. 

Stating how he wasn’t going to do anything, or agreeing to drop the subject, Gabriel would ease up to zir side. Remind zir that Liatris needed to be comforted and that he wanted to help. After zir eyes would search his, zir lips twitching, ze would surrender. However, instead of taking the baby as offered, he’d bring them both to the rocking chair placed in their room. Gabriel would kneel before zir and wrap a hand in zirs with another taking Bugsy to distract Liatris with. Small teary smiles would get bigger between baby and angel and the angel could feel the tension release knot by knot from the Prince’s grip. 

On most occasions of this, like they were now, Gabriel had ended up with his head in Beelzebub’s lap and feeling zir dainty fingers going through his hair. They felt relaxed, tension drained, and the angel could feel a little shred of Peace. He would wrap his arms around zir waist and hear as Beelzebub would huff then adjust to get better comfortable. Liatris little bum and legs would end up rested on the Archangel’s shoulder and he could take in the scent of sugar and honey and sage from his demon, and then there was the scent of baby that was Liatris’s...with that underlying scent of Death that still smelled too strong, making him worry again. He’d press his face into Beelzebub’s skirts and try to ignore the worrying scent and feel zir fingers start to trace his ear, making him turn so that ze would make the path ze would follow down his jaw then over his Adam’s apple, before sweeping away slivers of mercurial hair that had spilled over his collar. 

Eventually, the Lord of Hell would brush his hair down the channel of his spine, just between the two plains of his sculpted back. Zir fingers would remain there and he’d feel content. 

He would tell no one how much he enjoyed it, especially as it came after upset. 

With everything going on, it was jarring how strained ze had been prior to this calmed state but Gabriel would take it. Even if he could see that previous fear so fully woven back in zir eyes, the hint of it remaining after ze would calm. He’d tentatively take zir hand and kiss the crook of it before getting pushed away by the face to nearly fall on his ass, hearing a very sleepy laugh come from the little Hellion curled in zir arms. 

“They really do take after you.” He smiled, like he did every time he’d say things like that, but in a flash Beelzebub frame would become rigid. Every time since... 

“They don’t.” 

“Mmmm. I think they do. Learning all your demonic ways and Mercilessness.” He played off with a smile, like this was supposed to be normal. “All with the same cuteness that you bear it with.” 

Zir frown deepened and zir head tilted. One would believe ze were NOT pleased in the slightest. 

“Demon-y and adorable.” 

“They-” 

“Are adorable.” Gabriel’s lips ticked, watching as the demon fought with the fact that ze could not deny that the child in zir arms was indeed cute, not realizing zir concern that ze did not want said child to be demonic in the very least. What Luca had said...THAT was too close. Ze couldn’t manage it. And if Gabriel was even remotely suggesting that Liatris was anything like zir...It just wasn’t supposed to be that way. 

“Ztop. They are not any zzort of demonic.” 

Distress had taken a stronger hold and reflected in zir eyes, and the Leader of the Heavenly Host could feel it start to invade and realized he needed to rectify the situation quickly. It was a confusing contradiction of even one of the nicknames they used on the little one. He didn’t understand what Beelzebub was getting worked up for and just knew that was not his intention. So, Gabriel leaned into his more ambassadorial skills, raising his hands. 

“They are a human infant, that plays to both demonic and angelic tendencies, but some days...especially when they act like that...” He gestured as he made a face, lips curled in a smile that was not hidden. “That’s aaallll you, dearest. Laughing at someone being pushed down?” He shook his head at zir. “Just the other day they bit my nose rather hard, and you heard the shriek they made after. Like a battle cry, really fierce too. All you.” 

He noticed the little one yawn and curl up closer to Beelzebub’s chest, nearly nodding off to sleep and Gabriel drew himself around the child to kiss their head. A flick of his gaze to the fly demon and he tentatively teetered the rocking chair slowly forward by its back and placed a small kiss on Beelzebub’s nose. Ze didn’t move and when the chair continued with its momentum, back then forward again, Gabriel placed another kiss on zir cheek, letting the rocking tapper off into an agreeable rhythm and watching it do the trick and slowly ease the baby into slumber. 

“They are a beautiful wonder, Bella, don’t you think?” 

The image of Liatris in Beelzebub’s arms always did capture Gabriel in these moments of rest, feeling soothed by the look of them. Especially now that they felt some semblance of security, even if the weeks still felt tense with the unknown. The rocking chair seemed to add more to it, and he wished every place they had hidden away in had had one. He liked holding and rocking Liatris in it too and could swear he could fall asleep in it if he wasn’t careful. But right then it gave him peace just to see them like that. 

And for some reason, his suddenly softened appearance seemed to mollify the Prince and ze returned to a less chaotic and unnerved state. He couldn’t resist touching zir cheek, tracing a thumb over what he knew was hidden there. The Archangel continued his gentle attentions down to zir small lips and he saw something sparkle behind zir eyes. 

An idea struck him. One he thought was actually a bad idea but wanted to try when ze seemed opened to touching like that. 

They hadn’t spoken at all about...what had nearly happened on the floor of the house they had snuck into for sanctuary. He felt like it was maybe better to talk about it, but because of all the damage control they had to deal with from the incident, drawing from Heaven to alter the weather as he did making him have to go and clarify the turn of events, back in Head Office to recharge and being found in a fairly perilous state – which was at Beelzebub’s insistence and coaching, telling him he needed to speak of the encounter as though the Archangel were getting closer to the unknown leaders without revealing more than it being one of the missing defectors and was attacked for it – and diffusing if anyone else was on Luca’s trail. Beelzebub had convinced Gabriel that he was too dangerous for any other being to handle. There had just been so much to handle. 

That once man had drawn out so many awful reactions for both of them, but Beelzebub had become so insistent and sometimes so focused on zir anger at the turned demon that ze needed redirection to focus on other things. 

However, with zir anger at Luca Giordano, ze were more focused on reading and trying to destroy the connection with Liatris. Zir previous delving into the materials retrieved became more than an obsession. Ze were drowning in writing and books and imagery, more often startling out of deep concentration, finding zirself in a different part of the room to looking completely terrified and short of breath, look for Liatris and only calming after Gabriel would take them both in his arms and hold them close. Get zir to sit down and hold zir til ze stopped shaking. 

Because of this they argued on occasion, sometimes near vehemently; when it would get that bad it was always because the angel would sneak out the books and hid them where Beelzebub could not tarry. 

Ze often became so furious at him that ze looked like ze could blow up, body rigid and shoulders squared. One of these times, the Messenger missed how zir fingers dug too deeply into the meat of zir palms and it turned out ze had too. Ze went to take Liatris from him, keep from yelling at the angel, but choked back a panicked gasp as ze saw black ichor all over the infant, barely noticing that several of zir fingers were stuck even when ze couldn’t remove them from the holes ze created. Ze thought ze had harmed the baby instead, unfeeling of zir injuries. 

That broke zir. Ze cursed and beat zir fist against zir chest before Gabriel could stop zir as ze collapsed to the floor. Zir panted out words of, “Pleazze, no! What have I done?” and “I didn’t mean to hurt you...” were crushing to hear and ze would not listen to the angel telling zir the Truth. Ze had choked out, “I made you burn!” 

He kept repeating, “They’re fine, Bee, they’re okay.” And begged zir over the baby’s whimpers turning to cries, “Look at them. See? Not even a scratch.” And he kept trying everything till zir face was on the floor and ze seemed to whimper out the same words, over and over, and he kept repeating, “you didn’t hurt them. It wasn’t your fault.” 

He couldn’t get zir to hold Liatris, who was whimpering and giving out sad little warbles as Beelzebub couldn’t seem to take hold of them. They kept making little baby noises at zir until Gabriel finally got them both on the ground and pulled Beelzebub into his arms. 

It was that settlement that seemed to bring zir back. Liatris, constantly seeking them both out though most often the demon, thumped their little limbs against zir face, blabbed at zir in baby speak, and cried. 

“They’re anxious. They really need you.” 

That turned into a long while holding zir and whispering to zir before taking care of zir injuries. Eventually he was able to settle both zir and the baby enough to get zir to sit up and hold the baby. Liatris kept spouting, “ooooo!” at the demon and pressing their little face against the demon’s chest or shoulder, curl up close then wiggle their little limbs, thoroughly distracting the demon. It made Gabriel’s work easier. 

He carefully removed each finger from the pits ze made, and he brought zir and Liatris to the tub to wash. Gabriel took care of everything ze would let him, cleaning away the old blood, removing every stitch of clothing from them both, and then getting zir to soak after he helped zir completely wash and rinse zir and Liatris, he willed the tub to refill with warm water and sat by zir. He got a chance to do zir hair again, even snuck a kiss to zir head and cheek that ze didn’t recoil from. Ze looked so tired and lost then that Gabriel leaned in and kissed each eyelid wishing that could at least tell zir he was there with zir. Ze looked too distant. 

He kept thinking how he hated that ze couldn’t seem to escape internal torments, knowing too well that ze felt responsible for what happened to Liatris. He didn’t blame zir for it, and he saw how this child meant so much to the demon and that their pain affected Beelzebub so deeply. He felt saddened by it and wished to protect them both better, feeling he was the one who failed them. Not even the singing of his lost Love could soothe his heart as he tried to tend to the demon, hearing only the continuous muffled sobs. However, Gabriel saw it as necessary to regroup and do his best to at least take care of the ones he kept now. 

He also hated that a breakdown was what it took for zir to allow him to take care of zir and yet he couldn’t help enjoying it. Enjoy feeling zir become pliable and docile, even if ze seemed so fatigued ze couldn’t function. 

So...discussions on what intimate matters they were facing had been understandably relegated to the back burner. 

But in this moment, he decided to see where it could get them. Wanting to shower zir in at least his affections and warmth. 

He kissed zir temple before taking a now sleeping Liatris from zir. Before ze could protest, he kissed zir fully on the lips. Ze didn’t fight. When he slipped his tongue between zir lips and sunk his hand in zir curls, ze slowly pulled back curiously and he let zir, kissing zir button nose before taking the baby to the bed. He did the usual of folding up blankets around all sides, as they have been sitting up or flipping themselves over and over if the barriers weren’t high enough now – a feat that was met with pleased words of encouragements and Beelzebub smiling more openly than ze had for quite some time – and only satisfied when it looked more fortress than bed. But as soon as that was settled, he turned back to the Demon Prince and slotted himself between zir legs, pulling zir to the edge of the rocking chair. 

As careful as he was zir eyes were wide in surprise. 

After adjusting zir legs to fit perfectly around his waist, skirts bunched around them both, he took zir small hands in his and brought them to his face, kissed each palm before each wrist. 

“You can stop me at any time. Just say so.” 

And zir eyes widened and he felt zir thighs flex around him. 

Feeling the curiosity bleed from zir, caution evident, the Messenger let one hand fall to go where ze wished it while the other he placed directly over his heart. Let it tell on him that the angel felt nervous for what he wanted to try and to give to zir what brought zir calm. 

He wrapped his large hands around zir already tiny waist, made tinier by the style of corset of the times. He could practically touch his fingers. Slowly gliding girthy fingers up zir back and following the groove of the gown’s seam he reached the break of zir lacey neckline and traced its edge meeting skin to skin. Ze watched him as he did this and appeared not to move, the muscles of zir thighs being the only movement because ze weren’t even breathing. 

“Tell me to stop and I will.” 

Next thing the Prince knew was Gabriel had pulled zir in just enough to brush his lips against zirs, allowing it out of a confused fascination...Out of want... 

But it was quick and gentle, the Archangel pulled away looking at zir through pretty veiled lashes that made zir want to run zir fingertips over them. Before ze could register more he was pulling zir back and kissing zir again. Kissing zir in ways ze had only ever been kissed by him and still left zir confused. Tender and sweet and everything that one would imagine of an angel...caring. 

The Archangel pressed into his kiss and brushed his nose against the demons, resting there for a breath after breaking and nuzzling zir cheek. Beelzebub eyes took in the beauty of his face so up close, admiring the way his gem-like eyes looked as they bore into zir when he opened his eyes again, despite feeling uncertain. Then his lips were on zir again. Beelzebub kept hearing zir own mind shout out ‘why?’ in zir head, over and over that only got pushed around by the want, being remet with ‘this is not for you.’ Even as ze permitted the kissing to continue. Even as zir other hand found his cheek and recommitted the groove of it to memory. Even as ze wanted more. Even as ze kissed him back. Even as ze pressed into him as ze tried to fit as much of zir against him as ze could and felt his heart quicken beneath zir palm. Even as ze sighed into his mouth and let one of his fingers trace the grooves of zir gown’s gathers at its waist. Ze still fought zirself in zir head, unable to stop zir actions or his, nor the thought: 

-He doesn’t know how wrong you are...he’ll burn too because of you... 

Then Gabriel was moving on. Kissing zir cheek. Just by zir ear. The crook of zir jaw. Zir neck...He pulled on zir only enough to bring zir closer, the rocking chair lending to the movement and giving a strange mimic of the rhythm he was promoting. 

Gabriel palms found their way just below zir bust and his fingers clenched around zir form making zir feel tingly. Ze couldn’t stop from leaning into him, feel the pressure of his lips on zir throat and the weight of his hands on zir body. Ze couldn’t stop the buzz from escaping zir. A hand reached up and slipped fingers back into zir hair, palm over zir pulse point and thumb able to caress under zir jaw, ze had started to tilt zir head back to grant him access to the flesh that wanted attention there and being rewarded with little soft kisses to zir throat. Followed by a talented tongue... 

But ze were pulling away from him, uncertainty on zir pouting face and the War within zir apparent. 

“You’re alright. This is okay. We stop. There is nothing wrong with telling me to stop.” He stayed himself and smiled what he hoped was one of reassurance and searched zir eyes. 

“I feel all backwardz...” 

“Well, you’re a demon. Isn’t there some part in Hell that is backwards, in human texts?” He teased. 

“Z’not what I mean, git...I feel...wrong...Ziz iz wrong.” Ze inspected him but he thought it looked more like ze were retreating more from him. “I’m a God Damned demon but I can’t...we juzzt zhouldn’t! What you’re on about, thizz whole ‘we’re huzband and wife,’ bizzz....bull-” Ze looked over at the baby and clenched zir jaw. 

“We are?...aren’t we?” 

“And we are zworn enemiezzz. We are suppozzed to be at each otherzz throatzz. Not-” Ze threw an angry look at Gabriel who looked like he was about to take what ze said very literally. “Not like that.” 

“I’m aware of who we are and what we will do in The End times. What we promised.” 

Ze scrutinized him for a very long time but whatever that ran through zir head didn’t seem to satisfy zir. “And yet you treat me-” 

“As I should. Like you deserve.” 

“You don’t know what you’re tal-” 

“You married an angel, an Archangel, to be specific, sweetheart. Who will treat you how any other bondmate would be treated. It’s not going to change, Beelzebub.” He froze and swallowed, his mouth feeling very dry. He hadn’t meant to use that term but something about it clicked and the distant singer in his head quieted for a moment. Each breath after and he knew that it felt solid. Real. 

“Bondmate?.......We aren’t-” He heard the fear creep into zir voice. 

“You feel it too, don’t you?...Something else...Right here...” He chanced exposing more, fearing what he felt was imagined, fearing that it was not. He had felt strange the first few times he felt a connection that was somehow binding to Beelzebub and always tried to ignore it. But over time he noticed how much stronger it would feel and at times the cord pulled tighter...the voice of his lost Love would get quieter. So...he committed, looking into eyes that captivated him and pointed to where their hearts were built to be, though never needing to be used. He watched a brief flicker of horrified realization flash through zir still Heavenly blue eyes and waited as Beelzebub drew back, folding in on zirself. 

“No.” 

And Gabriel became still and felt such a relief even though this now unquestionable bond had him tied to a demon. Something had happened long ago in that art studio between them, something he didn’t believe was possible. But it was real, as real as he could sense ze were lying about not feeling it too. 

“You do feel it too.” 

“You’re really off your rocker, Archangel! You’re grazzzping for anything to make ziz not wrong!” 

“What does it harm, if I’m right?” 

“You’re not. And Uzzz. YOU, Love! Think zelfizzhly for a Blezzed-” 

“Respecting and caring for you, hurts us? That doesn’t make any sense.” 

Ze leaned as far back in the chair as ze could manage to get away from him, he was still between zir legs so that was difficult. Ze knew if ze got any closer ze would take hold of him and ze couldn’t afford whatever would happen. Ze WERE terrified. 

“Zziz falzzze marriage wazz meant to zhame you, for your audaczziouzz wayzz, Archangel. It waz meant to be hidden in zecret.” 

“It is from all but Her.” 

“Ztop! Zizz izzz not a game. It izzz forbidden. If anyone were to find out…” 

“No one else will. But it’s not because I’m ashamed. We made a deal, a marriage for a title and obligations to the other at Armageddon, guess She saw fit to bind and acknowledge us, as well.” 

He frowned because he knew of bondmate ceremonies and there was always more pomp and circumstance about them, lots of paperwork too. But all they had done was made a promise to face each other at Armageddon and kill each other and Gabriel would get zir the ring that hadn’t left zir finger since he put it on zir. It didn’t feel right to him but who was he to argue with God, if that’s what She sanctioned. 

“You were zuppozzzed to be...” Zir brows knit and zir head fell back before ze snapped back to look at him completely bewildered and disbelieving. “You will regret ziz. You were zuppozzed to regret ziz.” 

And he looked at zir with such sad eyes ze could make neither heads nor tales of and shook his head and shrugged. 

Ze were so upset and exasperated at him, he was completely turning things on its head again and making no sense. “You’re zzzzuppozzzed to! Not zzuppozzed to ha-...You’ve confuzzed yourzzzelf. you don’t know what you’re zaying, Lov-...” Ze actually looked like ze were going to bite through zir lip in frustrated fury until Gabriel put his finger to zir lips to stop zir. Very suddenly, Gabriel was too close and Beelzebub’s face felt on fire. 

“I do. ‘All things great and small,’ Beelzebub. And you fall under both classifications, so I have every right to.” The angel once again dumbfounded zir into silence. Ze couldn’t understand anymore and didn’t want to care enough to put energy into it. Ze couldn’t stop zir body from convulsing in alarmed revulsion. “I don’t think this is wrong. We’re not wrong. And I won’t stop treating you as I should, but...do you want me to not touch you anymore?” 

He looked guarded. Gabriel was trying not to make zir feel pressured and wanted an honest answer, he didn’t like making zir uncomfortable he just found he fell into the trap of liking to touch zir. Every other instance had been an excuse he thought valid reasons to excuse himself to do so. Before. He would need to work on it, he knew he still had to keep zir in check as an adversary. However, if his wishes for closeness were causing his wife genuine discomfort he’d stop when it was unnecessary. 

Instead ze looked more frustrated and tired than before he asked and clenched zir jaw too tightly, turning away. 

“It’s okay. Unless I have to stop any nefarious plans, I won’t-” 

A head of curls barreled into his chest and the rocking chair moved with zir, nearly putting zir in Gabriel’s lap. “You weren’t gifted with common zenze, pigeon.” Ze grumbled as ze were mentally cursing that ze weren’t either, cursing that ze didn’t know what to do and still fearing the once unspoken tie and what it actually meant. Ze needed him to be wrong, thinking of any rational reason that didn’t involve ‘bondmates.’ Ze didn’t like that what he said felt...right... 

Ze flipped the word over in zir mind, thinking of that frightening intangible rope ze felt wind around zir the moment they struck their deal. But ze kept fighting the idea of it. It wasn’t supposed to exist, and an angel and demon weren’t supposed to have that...it was a lie, a trick of the mind, ze kept screaming at zirself. “I’m not an angel. I’ll never be whatever it iz you want me to be and playing like ziz izzz dangerouz.” 

“I never asked you to be anything other than you. The most cunning and DANGEROUS Demon Prince who wants to Live in the flowers. If the Almighty didn’t want this, it wouldn’t have happened to us.” 

“Don’t you fucking dare bring Her into zizz. Zhe hazzz no part-” 

He pulled zir away and looked deep into zir eyes with a seriousness that stopped zir from uttering another syllable. “If She didn’t, then I’d have Fallen when this started.” 

And there was a silence that hit the room. A tenseness that struck Beelzebub so fully that Gabriel couldn’t sense anything from zir. Zir breathing cut out and he could sense such a fear that he had no makings of understanding for it. It overwhelmed him and his own fear of Falling. He knew though. Gabriel knew that if it wasn’t permitted for him and Beelzebub to be what he now knew they were the Almighty would have already cast him out. It still left him nervous, but he had Faith that She had allowed it – even believed She had orchestrated it – for whatever reason. 

But why Beelzebub feared him Falling was beyond the Messenger, more than anything else. He needed to calm zir somehow. 

“It’s okay. This...” He brushed hair away from zir face as carefully as he could, worrying ze’d push him away. “This is fine. We’re fine.” But it wasn’t enough, and the demon was leaning back into the chair, shaking zir head. “I would give you a field of flowers if I could, Bella. Somewhere you could feel...” He shook his head, shrugging and making a face. He was babbling but he couldn’t shake the fear in zir eyes as ze scrutinized him. “I don’t play at anything.” However, nothing he seemed to say was changing that look, til he glanced over at the sleeping infant on the bed that had made suckling noises. “Okay, I play with Liatris. However, they are a baby, that’s a basic need for babies. How can I neglect them?” 

In that breath the demon came back a little to zirself, worried for different reasons for Gabriel and not only for not wanting him to Fall. There was already so much on zir plate, what was one more concern. Ze already knew it was going to be...unbearable to give Liatris up, they couldn’t keep running forever. Then there were the debilitating possibilities that they would fail and Liatris could…Something Beelzebub could bear less, should it happen. But Gabriel was equally as immersed, never seeming to recognize his problem. Oddly brushing it off. However, instead of pointing it out, Beelzebub brushed back his silver hair from his face, tried to memorize his still blissfully ignorant smile before it would harden. Committing to a more comfortable conflicting stupidity, ze traced his lips. They were equally punchable and kissable in Beelzebub’s opinion. Everything was so messed up, zir head felt like it was foggy and cluttered... 

-We are well and Truly fucked. What are we going to do?! 

So ze ignored it and leaned in and kissed those frustrating lips. A very chaste affair. Different than what they had done before. When ze pulled back ze looked him over, noting how he looked like he was trying to hold back a contented glow that was lit up in him. The other thing ze noticed...nothing blew up. Ze stroked his cheeks carefully and felt warmth starting to spread up zir hands, hating how it felt good and everything it shouldn’t. Ze tried to ignore it. 

“Their fine motor skills and cognitive abilities are developing well. It is rather nice when they laugh when you play with them.” 

His smile grew warmer, “It is when you do too. And don’t lie, demon; I know you like it when they play with you. You don’t have to lie to me.” 

-It’s the only time I see you smile unguarded and easily, Bee. 

“Zziz your new way of thwarting me, izz it? Whatever thizz iz?” 

-Confound and break my...I’m not supposed to have one left. Bloody fucking hormones. 

And at the defeated grimace ze made – as the Messenger had come to learn ze had many different types – Gabriel lightly chuckled and shook his head but wrapped the tiny demon up and lay his head back on zir lap. “You mean taking care of my wife who happens to be a Fallen being? I will admit; a demon and an angel being married is...not ideal – nor was it my idea, though I still think it was Hers – but I have accepted it. And I won’t use it to hurt you, Bee. Please, believe me.” He looked up at zir from his position and pat zir thigh, “Whatever we are, you’re important to me in so many ways, Bella. You’re not ‘all wrong,’ nor do I expect you to be any other way, but yourself, either. So enough of those thoughts, or I’ll...put you over my knee and spank you and it won’t be nice.” 

Beelzebub didn’t even know where the Archangel Gabriel could have come up with such a colorfully specific idea...Then the second part of his wording hit and ze startled zirself all over again. Ze blinked repeatedly for a few seconds before shaking zir head at the assumed idiot and drew zirself around him as best ze could, holding onto the fool that made zir an equal fool. 

“Zweet foolizzzh Archangel...whatever are we going to do with you?” 

-Stop making me regret, Gabriel...I’m not even be the person you think I am now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Bee just needs to let zirself ENJOY zir husband. Carnally. Just let zir take a big ol’bite out of his very fine shaped ass. Or let him do the biting. I don’t know anymore! Bee actually needs to have someone help zir address zir trauma and not have sex (okay, I still think ze need a good dicking, but that’s not exactly a good thing for someone who needs some solid mental help. But then again there is no real form of mental help in the 1700s so a good dicking might be all the better). 
> 
> Beelzebub is also dealing (not dealing at all) with the trauma from being responsible for Liatris's injury very poorly. I feel like, as ze were considered a god of fertility that ze would be highly protective of children and babies. Beelzebub's people had once flourished and the children of zir people were very well cared for. So that's also why I think Bee would be. There is more to it, including why I also headcanon why Bee would be picked by Lucifer to give birth to the antichrist. So this accidental storyline is big. From zir miscarriage in the beginning of this arc to zir not so hidden Love for Liatris.
> 
> Gabriel is trying his best. Both to be really good to zir and to give zir a good dicking. It’s late! I’m sorry! (I’m kind of not sorry at all and just cackling as I type the word ‘dicking’) He’s being too infuriatingly reasonable and I feel like Bee wants to resort to smacking him, and not in a fun way. That’s later. (OMG I AM SO SORRY!) 
> 
> I just couldn’t let them try to address their growing sexual tension and intimacy issues like adults and let Gabriel’s mouth do the work in a not talky fashion. And then he brought up bondmates and that’s the thing I wrote out and was like “I guess THIS is the chapter they realize things are a lot off.” It was supposed to be much later in Regency but I tend to go where my fingers type. Usually into corners. 
> 
> Liatris has a lot going on too. I didn’t want to leave out that they would have had such a terrible reaction to another attack. This one was different though because, as with everything, it takes a toll. The constant debilitating draining spells, the physical attacks from demons/damned, anxiety ridden parents, and then the last attack had ended with such a terrible wound and they couldn’t heal them right away and I’ve sort of explained that some parts of them have acquired advanced abilities due to angel/demon interference with ethereal essence. So Liatris is retaining some things and babies do pick up that sometimes (though usually much later). 
> 
> Hit me with some good music that pops into your head when you read this, I love it. I also love your comments, what you loved, what you caught, or even what you did not. Con-crit is most welcome because I’m trying to write this bad boy coherently. 
> 
> Lastly, dear friends all over the world, stay safe! <3 
> 
> Friends, countrymen (it’s late and I’m of Roman decent, what do you want from me?!), lets mentally hold hands because I’m in knots and know you must be too. Keeps strong. <3


	32. Ill-Fated Love & Binding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub is trying to reconcile with the fact that ze can’t deny Gabriel’s claim. Any bit of his claim. Their false marriage and binding, specifically their bondmating that should not have occurred under ANY circumstance. It’s just not supposed to happen. 
> 
> Gabriel is trying to preserve their small accidental family, persuade his wife into not losing zirself in trying to break the bond Liatris has. He fears for them both but his concerns aren’t just about the end goal. 
> 
> And when those dark nights filled with kisses roll around, the Archangel Gabriel is not throwing away his shot of trying to get his infernal wife to trust him with ever touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprisingly, I think there is only angst, angst, and more angst in this chapter. Go us? No generally bad things happen. They talk about the possibility of Liatris dying because they are worried parents with a supernaturally linked baby. OH there is some anxiety in regards to their status but they do no such adult-like talking about feelings. 
> 
> And just to warn, there is a tiny bit of smutty action in there. That’s why it’s so much longer. It’s the whole second half...I hope it pleases. I’m sorry if it doesn’t. There’s a lot going on for these ethereal parents. 
> 
> This did NOT take long to write out and I’m so surprised. I had a tiny bit of fixing to do, but to smooth things over with important story pieces...corporation pieces actually had little to fix XD 
> 
> Song recs for this chapter: first half is Bleib L’ame Immortelle and I Will Build My Nest High Up Erin Zindle  
> I'M CAVING and adding a song for this chapter: The Strange Familiar by Monica Richards

Over the course of time passed for the three hidden away in the cozy room in Kent. They kept falling and hurting, tending to and caring for, deescalating conflict between the two higher beings and...confiding secret parts of themselves to the other that no one else would ever know of. Neither the Heavenly Host nor Hell’s Legions would recognize their leaders if they were to witness. 

Beelzebub would refuse to verbally broach Gabriel’s proclamations of being bondmates. There was too much dangerously involved in such nonviable thoughts. It wasn’t supposed to be something to pop into existence. There needed approval after submission to a higher power (WHICH WOULD NEVER HAPPEN IN THEIR CASE, or any case involving an angel and demon, but particularly THEIRS), short but detailed ritualistic ceremony that held so many stupid nuanced meanings that even the demonic version made Beelzebub gag, and then there was consummation which had Beelzebub want to jump out of zir skin at the thought even if ze...liked Gabriel’s body, but it all ended with that very inexplicable bond that was somehow between them. 

Thoughts of ‘This isn’t SUPPOSED to HAPPEN!’ buzzed in zir head and sometimes ze would fall into another abrasive overload. The Demon Prince would keep away and silent panic would set, ze’d clean til zir fingers looked raw or bury in research. Ze couldn’t accept it no matter how ze tried. And denial would only make something within zir physically jolt and feel a stronger pull of that Damned Blessed cord. Ze’d glare at the angel as if it was his fault. 

One thing was clear from the discovery, it hadn’t been there before. 

There was also nothing of...Before. Beelzebub tried to reach out for a feeling of another cord. A tie...to the one willfully forgotten, who ze had allowed to hurt and betray zir in ways ze no longer remembered and TRIED to feel if there had ever been this kind of connection. Ze were afraid to find a link...but there was none. To no one. Not even Lucifer. There was only that blasted tie to Gabriel now, an angel who was zir enemy and leader of the Heavens of all things. 

Ze knew other demons could still feel that stretch to their bondmates from Above. Ze heard it felt like the way ze did now or like an ever present ghost floating above with no real way to recognize who they were. For whatever reason, the bonds from Before were never dissolved and many thought it was just another torment She had packed onto their Damnations, to know that someone precious and thought inseparable was lost to them forever. An annoying tug to remind you it was still there, but nothing more. It only left zir trying to decide if it made zir feel better for it never having been...or angry they hadn’t thought zir worthy even Before. 

-Maybe they Died in the Rebellion. 

Ze’d dismiss such matters and press the more important/not important questions as to how ze could have this inescapable bond with Gabriel. It just wasn’t possible. 

Yet it had been manifested the instance their deal was verbally agreed upon after he inspected zir hand to mentally fit it for a ring he’d later commission. The same poesey ring that remained on zir finger since; even after Lucifer’s brutalization of it and zir hand it fit upon. 

And all ze could think was how fucked they both were, regardless of Gabriel’s confusing acceptance. Which also pissed zir off to no end. 

-Fucker could Fall and he’s acting like we’re...like he’s... 

Ze couldn’t bear it, zir usually grim face found new ways to contort to zir level of stricken upset. All that would do was worry the angel, because of course it fucking did. 

It helped nothing that ze permitted more touching. All sorts of touching. Touching ze just kept reasoning ze were fucked to the Heaven’s over so why not one more little touch. One more lingering hand in zir own. One more instance of pulling zir in and feeling his hands glide over zir slight frame. Allow one more chaste kiss that the angel would sneak in when he’d go to move around zir. It often ended with Beelzebub pushing Gabriel away with a grimace to zir face and a chuckle from his lips and zir pulse in zir ears, but it was...tolerable. Ze couldn’t admit to zirself that it felt...good. Or pleasing. Or like ze sometimes felt like throwing him against the wall and do with him as wished. Finish what they started on that floor all those weeks ago. That was equal parts frightening and frustrating on so many levels. 

Liatris made dealing with such things so much easier when they would interrupt and growl and try to gnaw on Beelzebub’s face or squawk at the angel and launch their small body at him to get their own kisses. They made it easier. Safer. 

There were other things to worry about. 

Gabriel was also given clearance to do a massive celestial inspection after the attack. As prepared in prior discussions with Beelzebub, he revealed some of the ritualistic details of the dream without going into details of who had it or mentioning the partner aside from the one to bear being marked. 

He interviewed the humans through dreams, without having to physically locate them – allowing him more time with Beelzebub and Liatris. 

He’d visit many dreams over the three weeks since permission was cleared. To find them he cast out celestial forces to draw humans to his presence, influence them into seek him out and confess any strangeness to their partner prior to the conception of their offspring. 

There were mentions of strange romps in fields, however, there was no mention of a Lover never seen again even though some did mention oddness of their own mate and concern of something called a ‘changeling’ in place of a child. The Archangel tucked that word away to later pull that up and to ask the demon, feeling it important. 

Sometimes the dreamer would ask if they were so wrong to do the things they did. Most would advance to his side unafraid of the Archangel Gabriel, but it did not seem for comfort from what he could gather. Some would lay hands on him as they would RECITE what they worried they needed to repent for, though he did find that it gave valuable info in learning exactly what happened during that suspicious encounter. He would ask about any wounds made on their form, or their partners, but none seemed able to recall and would become introverted and worried. 

Having no real commonality other than late night fooling around in the forest, Gabriel would dismiss the dreamers and try to wade through what he was given. It was easy for him to get distracted by some of the more...detailed descriptions, his mind drifting to one individual with hair as pitch as night and eyes as blue as the Heavens. The angel would startle when that very being would touch him in zir sleep or call out to him on waking. 

When Beelzebub finally inquired about what Gabriel would learn from his investigations, he cleared his throat and turned bright pink incapable of looking zir in the eye. Sometimes he would clamp his mouth shut as if that would solve all his problems. However, the demon was persistent enough, and reasoned its importance he shared. 

It was very quickly learned that Gabriel didn’t need to reveal ALL the details if he wanted Beelzebub’s face to return to being moon pale. Or look at his face. Or stop blinking. Or breathe normally. 

Best coarse of action was bringing up Gabriel’s efforts of searching for any sightings of Luca from Heaven’s observation decks. They again discussed plans should they be found and ambushed, who would take Liatris and run and who would fight. Always ending with promises that Gabriel would go and Beelzebub would stay. 

“Z’too dangerous. I need to know they’ll be safe and I trust no one else but you, Gabriel.” Was groaned as ze glare at him over pages of another ritual for reBirth – trying to identify the exact root and purpose in order to find maybe the right counter to end it. The mention of zir trusting him always left him conflicted because though he wanted zir to, he did NOT like the idea of abandoning zir, especially to Luca. But ze would scowl and push. 

Unfortunately, Gabriel was determined to fight zir on the matter every time they discussed it. 

“I’ll not leave you. Not with him. And especially not after what happened last time.” 

“Which is EXACTLY why you should go, Archangel. You’re capable of handling the rest but not Luca, whatever he’zz done to himzelf.” 

“You’re putting yourself in danger when we are stronger as a pair, you know this, Bell.” 

“You’re loozzzing yourzzelf, Mezzzenger.” Ze growled out, removing the book from zir line of sight to glare directly at the angel. Even with zir harsh, firm stance ze had to shift the curious child on zir hip and getting far too into the angel’s face. “Carried away by your make-pretend. We are-” 

“Stronger. Together. And you know it. I know you hate to hear it, but your power has been draining. You’re weakened and need me. Why are you finding it so difficult to accept that we are?” 

When ze scoffed and turned from him, putting the book back in zir face as though to ignore him, Gabriel’s face twisted up and his hands went to his hips, decision made. 

“Put the book down, fiend.” 

And at that ze turned Deadly dark eyes on the Leader of Heaven that made him rethink his approach, but he was stubborn and plowed on. 

“Now, Beelzebub.” He moved to them and stared zir down, hand out. 

“You don’t order me, Archangel.” An imperious eyebrow arched. 

“No. But you’re getting carried away too. It’s even affecting Liatris.” 

The two looked at the baby currently drooling on their tiny fist in their mouth. They had been making nervous warbles as they rested their little head in the crook of zir neck, running a little warm, much to Beelzebub’s worry, ze had been too distracted to notice til then. However, the Archangel Gabriel took his duties seriously as a husband and fathe...he pushed for the sake of them both. 

“Bell. Come on. I want what you want.” 

The two finally compromised a system for zir research. In addition to the times that the baby needed to be fed or taken care of, ze would have to take three breaks a day and put every scrap of writing, notes, and books – anything pertaining to rituals – away. Pack them up. They would read other things to Liatris, have zir soak in the tub for a bit – always asking to have Liatris with zir after the temperature dropped enough – or just talk and play with them. 

A demon agitated to such a degree, even one who seemed as patient as Beelzebub, still forged an argument just as ze had every time. Gabriel could sense zir fear, but he would always reason that Liatris needed more of their attention as they were growing. 

“We’re putting them in danger by putting thizz off.” 

“They have us.” 

“And they zzhouldn’t. They need humanzzz.” 

“Bee, we’ve been over this. Humans aren’t as strong. They can’t protect them.” 

“We can’t either unlezz we break the bloody connection. Liatris will be free of...” Ze grunted and shut zir Heavenly blue eyes from him and remained quiet for too long. “You don’t know, becauzze you don’t zuffer the effectzzz az we do. They could Die, Gabriel. Ziz baby could Die if we don’t find a way to end ziz.” 

“Bell, I-” He reached for zir and ze pulled away. 

“I can feel it, angel. I’m zzo bloody tired zome dayzz I feel like I can’t open my eyezz. And I’m a demon. Liatris izzz a human and an infant...Pleaze...Don’t make me fight you to zave them.” Ze looked so frustrated but he could feel sadness and intense fear, see it in zir stern eyes. He didn’t need to feel the Truth biting from zir tongue to know ze were still feeling the effects batter zir from the most recent episodes, he could see it in the darkening bruises under zir eyes. It made zir look more ghost than demon. But they both had debated that Gabriel healing the baby during every sickness and being a simpler being and having given them some of his Heavenly essence probably was why they didn’t look like the demon. 

“Just a little. They do need us....while they have us...” He said somberly as he held out his hand for zir, just like every time, and waited. “I’ll give you the books back in a little while. You have my word.” 

And ze put zir hand in his and was pulled to a blanket he spread out on the floor. Setting Liatris between them on their little tummy with a vivacious smile and said, “You say they should be crawling on their own soon, right? So Liatris needs to practice building their muscles.” 

“Courze you would be excited about building muscles. Silly pigeon.” Ze rolled zir eyes and yet ze were equally happy to watch them lift their head and rock back and forth. They did this for a little while, Beelzebub surprised that Gabriel seemed to know tricks that did encourage crawling. He got down on the floor getting the curious baby to smile at him as he exaggerated lifting one hand then the other to get the tiny being to do so. It did end with plenty of faceplants but Liatris’s tears were quickly replaced by smiles and gurgles. 

At one point, Liatris waggled their little limbs so fast that Beelzebub actually laughed, full and open-mouthed, making the child bubble out their own baby laugh. Instead of joining in Gabriel couldn’t help but pull the Prince to him and kiss zir apple-y cheek, take hold of zir hand and kiss that too. 

They watched and encouraged the little one for some time, ending when Liatris made it into Beelzebub’s lap. They blubbered and smacked their lips, mouthing blabbering baby gibberish, lavender eyes shifting between demon and angel. With the help of both ethereals, they teetered on their little wobbly knees and took hold of zir bodice before faceplanting against zir petit body. In turn, the demon wrapped up the child and collapsed in Gabriel’s lap and stayed there for a time, looking content even though ze made mention that they would need to feed them soon. Beelzebub’s warm smile and momentarily mirthful eyes that ze shared with the baby and him were secreted away in Gabriel’s memory because he knew, even though ze were his adversary, even if they would end each other, that these memories were precious and had already learned of losing someone else’s smile and voice and sparkling eyes. He didn’t want to lose Beelzebub’s too. 

***************************************************** 

The small lamb of God, in the care of a Demon Prince and God’s Messenger, startled awake with such a fierce jerk of their tiny limbs that they smacked Gabriel in the face waking him. Their little whimpers were sad and nervous and the angel could feel the fright in the child’s sounds and knew they had had a nightmare. 

As carefully as he could, he got up and started to rock them, avoiding each floorboard he knew creaked. 

“We should let mam-mmmm. Let her rest a little more, I’ve got you.” 

He bopped them and when Liatris seemed to calm enough Gabriel went to lay them out to change them, finding only a small mess that cleaned quickly. If there was one thing he was grateful for was that Beelzebub was so on top of handling nappy changes and washing their linens to prevent germs and reduce chances of rashes, though sometimes Liatris would break out into heat rash. The demon tried everything in order to prevent any pain on the little soul; with powders and ointments ze made or had Gabriel fetch. 

He would always heal them if one was to surge, that was easy, but it still vexed the Prince when it would happen. 

For a brief moment, the angel recalled when Beelzebub had thrust a bag of coin, directions to a banker with instructions on how to start something called a ‘bank account’ to keep things off Heaven’s books, and a large shopping list to get all the things to assist in caring for a human child. It was a lot and left the angel baffled at the linens alone. But he learned quickly that it was a NECESSITY for keeping them clean and dry...It was so much work and they had kept Liatris for so much longer than either had expected. He chuckled at it all now. 

He redressed them and whispered things to soothe. Soon they were in his arms and resting their little head on his shoulders, clinging to him sleepily. They stayed that way for a while as he rocked them and gave little kisses to their brow. Hearing their little yawns in his ear every now and then, but less and less whimpers, made Gabriel smile. 

After a while, the Archangel forgot himself and just listened to the tiny breathes such a small being could make. Feel their body swell and contract with each inhale and exhale. He marveled at the little creation in his arms and, for another one of those secret moments, acknowledged his sadness that they weren’t theirs to keep. But he held on to the happiness he felt that they were in his arms and that they were Alive and holding onto him. 

That was enough. 

The child wiggled and he resettled them to be cradled in his arms. And slowly...he heard the soft cries of his first loss Love that hadn’t changed except on the darkest of nights ease back into soft dulcet notes. Longing. Sweet. Tender... 

“Gabriel?” 

He looked to the bed to see the sleepy Prince’s brow scrunched in worry. It really wasn’t often ze wouldn‘t wake up right away if the baby was disturbed. Ze usually were the first to spring awake to take care of them. 

Looking zir over, seeing zir flushed face and foggy focus, he worried ze were going to get sick again soon. 

“They just got a little fussy, so I checked to make sure they were clean. We weren’t up long.” He rocked the still small infant in his arms and couldn’t help the quirk of his lips as he looked over his wife, sprawled out on the bed. Ze had turned to lay on zir back to watch them, looking near ready to fall asleep again and it made him feel warm to see zir that comfortable. 

Liatris made such a big yawn that his attention was pulled back to the tiny soul in his massive arms and he heard Beelzebub chuckle softly. “Oh. Oh. Oh. Such a big yawn, sleepy one. You can rest, you’re safe with us.” 

He started to hum as he rocked them, carefully stepping in rhythm as he went around the room. One little hand curled up in his night shirt and the other in their mouth, and Gabriel felt a Peacefulness washing over him as he watched the tiny bab drift off into sleep, feel his wife’s eyes watching them carefully, hear his lost Lover’s voice altered into almost more of a wordless lullaby in his head. He traced the child’s features with his eyes as he swayed with them, seeing their little mouth suckle, their little cheeks wiggle, and hear the smooth steady baby snores come from them again. He heard fabric shift on the bed and looked to see the demon, zir curly hair fluffing about zir sweet-looking cherubic face, had taken his pillow and curled up around it, zir cool blue eyes peeking at him from behind. 

-Wait...is she blushing? 

“Are they okay?” 

“They’re fine. Finally asleep.” He smiled. 

“...Why don’t you put the baby down to rest in that basket, Mezzzenger...and...come take care of me?...” 

If Gabriel had ever felt like his lungs needed air this was that moment. He felt like it had been stolen from him, knocked out, his eyes felt like they may try to fall out of his head. 

-Did she just?...Is she?... 

“Are you?...” 

“Going to keep me waiting, Love?” Ze scooted a bit and drew back the blankets away for him. Gabriel became afraid he was going to fumble the baby, his heart was hammering! The way ze were looking at him, through dark veiled lashes with coyly smiling petal pink lips that he thought shouldn’t be on a demon, had his brain overloading. He watched as zir little feet moved across the bed and wondered how they would feel draped around the backs of his thighs. Gabriel had to shake himself out of his thoughts. 

“Right. Just a second, dearest.” 

As carefully as he could, afraid that if he put down the baby they would startle awake if he wasn’t as gentle as possible, he placed Liatris in the tall bassinet the house mistress had given them, even though they hardly used it. He covered them to be warm enough. He nearly sent out a tiny prayer before turning back to see Beelzebub’s brilliant eyes bashfully return to the angel’s face. Zir gaze had been far too low and zir blush was now too deep. Gabriel felt dizzy. 

However, he took quiet determined strides to his side of the bed and slipped beneath the blankets, dragging zir close. Ze made no complaint for how he handled zir either, Beelzebub only took in a shaky little breath, cold hands slid up his arms and sunk into his hair, making Gabriel shiver. He adjusted himself to lay beside zir, press against zir just enough to feel zir chest rising and falling almost too quickly. He laid a small kiss to zir brow and then to the perky apple of zir cheek. Further and further down he went until he was at the corner of zir mouth. Ze tilted to meet him and each little kiss deepened, filled with want. 

After a while of kissing and trying to keep still, he felt a delicate leg wrap around one of his and a tentative hand run down his chest...then lower, tracing the lines of his body and slipping around his waist down to his ass to pull him closer. A rumbly low growl escaped Gabriel before he could stop it and he pressed against zir, pulling zir by zir slight waist as close as he could manage. They broke the kiss and he thrust against zir again, burying his lips in the crook of zir neck, groaning as ze began to pull up the back of his nightshirt. 

A large hand began to travel as kisses continued. Down over thigh, then to the crook of zir knee, over it and then passing his knuckles over the inside. Further and further down, slipping up zir nightgown, however, it was the angel who sucked in a breath. 

-She’s not wearing drawers...Fuck... 

He repeated his caresses a few more times before he felt zir buck up against him, nearly meeting the hand that was traveling so close. 

He kissed and began to lick at zir clavicle and sucked at zir, burying his face lower and lower to zir swollen breast. But then he heard zir give a little undignified squeak when he mouthed at zir over the fabric of zir nightgown. 

“Are you okay?” 

Ze nodded quickly with zir head tucked against his when he tried to look into zir eyes. 

“Are you sure? We don’t have to do anything.” 

But ze were buzzing out a whine and shifting about, trying to get his hand to move higher up zir inseam to touch zir. 

“Use your words, dearest. I want to know. Exactly. What. You want of me…” He said as he slowly grazed his fingers gingerly from zir knee to just barely touching zir, making zir cut off a mewl. “It’s okay. Just...allow me to make you feel good. Allow me this privilege.” 

He kissed the crook of zir jaw and nipped it once, for good measure. It made zir sigh. “What about-” 

“It’s no one else’s business if I make you feel good. And I want to make you feel good.” 

Zir breathing was coming in slow and deep but quiet. Gabriel’s fingers were on the vein in zir thigh that revealed how quick zir heart was beating, fluttering about chaotically. It had such an effect on the angel he, quietly as he could, moaned. He had the overwhelming urge to get between zir legs and kiss at that pulse before sticking his tongue in zir pussy. However, he was determined to practice patience as any good angel should, as ze needed his patience. The only point of contact he permitted himself for now was his hands on zir thigh and his body pressed to zir side. His legs wrapped around a dainty one, allowing him to feel zir pressed against his rigid member between his thick thighs. His body cried for friction that he wouldn’t give the satisfaction of until at least he gave Beelzebub zir own. And even after that, only if ze allowed him. 

“Tell me...” As gentle as he could he dragged his hand up zir torso until he cupped a tit, he knew ze were sensitive about zir chest so he was careful, especially as ze had admitted recently how they had become tender and zir face would scowl. So he was as gentle as he could be hoping to give zir pleasure there, fingers around the softness of zir breast up to the peak of zir nipple, feeling it perk up beneath his fingertips, earning a nervous sigh, and then a stuttering whimper as he kissed zir there. He ran his thumb over zir a few times to watch zir squirm. “Do you want me to touch you here?” 

He couldn’t help but think ze gave the cutest little keening noise at that. But he moved on when ze said nothing. 

“Here?” He moved to wrap nearly his entire hand around zir slight leg and squeezed, making zir gasp. “Or here?” The angel flipped up zir nightgown’s skirts to cover zir so that he could put a careful hand over zir mound, his pinky and ring finger skirting the edge of the fabric’s fold and brushing the curls of zir snatch, teasing zir. He knew he was pushing his luck but Beelzebub was keening and nodding zir head, pushing against his hand. 

“Use your words. I need to hear you.” 

“Love, I...” 

A blush too sweet and delicate to be on any demon deepened and ze turned zir face away from Gabriel and he took the opportunity to kiss zir throat and whisper into zir skin. 

“Please? I will go no further if I don’t know that you want this.” 

“I...Gabriel, I...” 

He had an idea. He took hold of zir hand, the very one with the ring he gave zir affixed to it, and kissed it, looking over zir with darkened amethyst eyes before holding it to his cheek. 

“Show me. Show me how to touch you, dearest. You can tell me...or you can show me. Show me with your hands.” He kissed zir neck again. He was desperate for zir to either accept him or deny. 

Blue eyes that were usually steely and hard were shy and soft, filled with need and want searched above and Gabriel thought ze were about to change zir mind and stop. Remove zirself from his reach. But then Gabriel felt as zir hand tentatively take his and slowly moved it down to trace zir slit, zir body was shaking and he found zir Effort slick. It made Gabriel swallow a moan back to keep quiet, wanting to only hear zir though finding it so difficult with such an intimate permittance. He dipped a finger between zir folds and felt as zir body stuttered, not a sound from zir lips but a too quiet simper tried to make a break for it. He slipped in zir and stroked inside, watching intently in hopes to remember zir this way, eyes filled with desire and hunger even if paired with trepidation and a strange timidness that made zir look too soft. 

“Like this?” 

“Yeezzz. Pleaze. Juzt like that, Love.” 

He did as ze wished, changing his pace as ze bucked, sometimes removing his fingers all together to rub zir clit, feeling zir convulse and grasp at him, hearing the tiniest gasps and sighs and how ze tried to keep as quiet as ze could. In time, he sunk two fingers back into zir but when ze went to cover zir mouth to keep back a moan, Gabriel flinched and took hold of zir hand. 

“No. Don't cover your mouth.” He begged. Seeing zir confusion and trepidation spike he kissed zir again and again until ze were chuckling and had to cover his mouth to stop him. “Please.” 

“But...we muzn’t wake them...” Ze whispered, looking him over, uncertainty etched into zir features. They threw a worried look in the sleeping baby’s direction and Gabriel realized that ze were right. And yet he was having difficulties fighting off his anxieties from his relearned memories of him and his lost Love. It made him wish to hear Beelzebub in hopes he’d never lose that sound, seeing zir place a hand over zir mouth had been too unnerving. 

“Then kiss me...” And he kissed zir hand again before leaning forward and kissing zir cheek. He waited for zir and when he curled his digits up in zir ze opened zir mouth and ze quickly pulled him close, having him swallow zir almost whimper before it could flee into the night. 

His tongue crashed with zirs in a mess and he felt zir purr out a buzz against him, around him. His fingers felt it all the way down to zir cunt and he shivered. He wanted zir mouth on him or to bury himself into the darkness between zir legs, feel zir buzz around him, knowing in the back of his mind how it would be such bliss. It only made him crave his tiny wife more. He nearly threw off the blanket to climb atop zir when ze bucked and stuttered, trying to take his fingers deeper into zir. 

Ze broke the kiss to gasp as ze arched and he attacked zir collarbone, biting just hard enough, as though he knew what was the exact pressure that ze liked and ze bucked again. Zir legs shook and he felt zir walls tighten around his fingers. Ze were so tight but so wet. 

“Deeper, pleazze. Pleazzze, Love, pleazze.” 

Gabriel heeded zir breathy demands sinking past his second knuckle, hearing how ze continued to beg him even through a hiss, and felt his own pulse speeding off on him. He looked down at Beelzebub unaware of how his face was stern, his eyes fervidly studying the demon and how ze were affected. How ze would twitch and zir grasp on his nightshirts would tighten when he’d withdraw from zir and rub at zir clit. How ze would have to take a deep breath as Gabriel would caress zir folds before penetrating and moving just the right way within. How ze pulled him into a desperate kiss when he wrapped zir up and grasped zir hip with the hand that had been brushing over zir hair. Ze pressed zir thigh against his stiff cock, the friction not enough and the angel ground against zir for more. He dug his fingers into the curve of zir hip then adjusted zir into a new position that made zir mewl into his mouth, tips of his fingers slipping beneath zir gown and digging into zir skin. 

Ze were so close he could feel the tension in zir cunt twitching around his fingers. Taking more of zir wetness to roll it over the bud of zir clit, hearing the slickness from his fingers coating zir, earning a pleased but clipped moan. He kissed zir little mouth and caressed upwards within zir, and zir whole body stuttered. 

“Gabriel, pleazzze...” He felt zir buzz around his fingers again and was delighted on feeling how strong it was, sinking his fingers in just a little further. Ze kept clipping out the quietest of pleas and begging until zir fierce little hands clutched at his nightshirt and started desperately tugging them. “Pleazzze, Love…” 

“Tell me what you need, dearest, and I will give it to you.” He kissed zir as ze keened and a whine broke as ze came on his fingers. He didn’t slow, not even when ze were desperately pulling him closer and kissing him, able to taste zir mouth of warmed spun sugar. The want he felt swelling from zir a hunger he was just getting familiar with from the demon of Gluttony and he wanted very much so to satiate zir as best he could. 

“I need you in me. Pleazzzee, Gabriel.” 

And suddenly Gabriel had lost hold of what control he was so careful to keep. 

He adjusted them both, slipping over to cover zir entirely, pulled his fingers from zir and rucked up zir nightgown just as desperately as Beelzebub was fighting with his. He nearly tore zirs apart he was so frustrated, but the next thing he knew was his own nightgown was up and over his head and being tossed to the floor. He kissed zir deeply the instance his eyes landed on zir again, his tongue meeting zirs in a desperate dance. A large hand splayed on zir bared hip and enjoyed the feel of zir warm supple skin under his hand, feeling his naked body touching so much more of zir than he ever had before. Zir small cold feet bracing themselves against his thighs as they slid over him following the grooves of the toned muscles to just behind his knees, all overwhelming him. His bare thighs and hips were fit between zir legs and his stiff cock pressed between them, the heat and slickness of zir cunt felt incredible with every little jostle from their frantic movements made, zir slick rubbing over them both. He husked out a sigh as ze grabbed at his bared ass and squeezed at it before dragging zir nails over both cheeks and he ground against zir, so ready for the next step. 

He kissed zir chastely before he pulled away to look zir in the eye as he took himself in hand, using zir slick that still clung to his fingers and part of his shaft to fully coat his Effort and lined up with zir wet cunt, feeling unmoored by the contact. He waited for another soft desperate plea before he started pushing his cockhead into zir soft entrance, moaning at the heady rush and anticipation as he started to slip in… 

When the baby gave a cry that spoke of nightmares and fright. 

Guilt wracked the Archangel of communication and the head on his defined shoulders fell against Beelzebub’s, as his cock, and the head upon it, deflated in defeat. He heard zir last whimper tapper into silence before becoming one of zir bubbling weird giggles, choked out of zir. He went to question, finding words failing him on seeing zir soft sweet smile given only in the darkest of night. It did not help ze were brushing back his hair from his face so tenderly. Glowing smile upon zir lips feeding him. 

“They probably need a change. I’ll take care of it.” Ze tapped his arse with the back of zir heel that had wrapped around him. “Off.” 

He buried his face deeper into the crook of zir neck and groaned, pulling zir as close as he could, and kissed zir several times until ze were gently pushing him away with a pleased huff. “It Truly does make me wonder how humans can be Blessed with more than one child and so soon after the first. Just...HOW? How do they find the time to be intimate when offspring are as such? Liatris isn’t a generally needy baby, and yet...” He slumped further against the slight demon who wickedly giggled and shook zir head. He heard zir buzz and whisper almost to zirself, "Liatris...what a pretty name."

He had gotten off zir and ze rolled to the side, casting a longing glance over zir shoulder at him and he did not fight the urge to kiss zir shoulder. Nor did he resist leaning forward to kiss zir still bare hip before recovering it with zir nightgown, then ze were up. 

“It juzt goes to show; babiezz wait for no being, not even the Archangel Gabriel.” Ze reached in to retrieve the child and crooned softly at them. “Oh, we’re here, sweet one.” 

Zir smile was still affecting, dreamy and warming like it would be in these secret moments in the Dead of night. Gabriel couldn’t help but watch as Beelzebub took care of the baby and wished for one of those brief seconds that the demon was someone he could hate or that ze had never Fallen. The later caused his heart to clench and the former made him thankful that he wasn’t able to hate zir. 

-It’d be really awkward to hate your…bondmate... 

He retrieved his nightshirt and threw it over his head, knowing that it best served him on his corporation rather than the floor that night. 

Liatris was again cleaned and redressed in Beelzebub’s arms and reduced to warbling sniffles that alternated with cries that the Prince of Hell tried to ease away with “oh no! My sweet. Oooh nooo.”. Knowing Beelzebub as he had in the past, he would never have suspected ze could be sound like this and caring to anyone, nevermind a child. Seemed undemon-y to the angel. But having forced themselves into these circumstances with Liatris...he couldn’t picture zir any other way. Thinking back to how ze always took to caring for innocence on several occasions, even if chaotically, only cemented it. 

Zir next words at their continuing warbled wail brought about conflicting feelings in the angel. 

“Oh, our silly little flower, don’t cry, z’alright, you’re fine, little Love. Mummy’z here. Do you want papa instead?” Beelzebub said with such an effervescent smile to zir lips, one that the Archangel of God felt like he knew from dreams as well as sleepy nighttime kisses. It was happiness and Peace manifested from zir being and Gabriel stalled on hearing it pour from zir lips. 

It was stunning...as well alarming and it stopped Gabriel’s heart cold. 

Ze wouldn’t have said such things so easily, he still didn’t know why but KNEW that was a difficult matter for zir; Beelzebub had guarded zirself from even annunciating such words, noticeably twitching at any presumptuous phrases about their relations to the child. It seemed to cause unseen damage within zir. Always withdrawing... 

Saying that it was wrong to behave as... 

And he kept hearing the pain... 

He couldn’t pinpoint the day that the aching torment crept into zir voice, but it was there for a while... 

Gabriel shot out of bed and went right to the demon’s side. He turned zir to him and looked into startled eyes and tried to see beyond into zir mind, figure out what ze were thinking. He was so very nervous and uncertain over what he had witnessed he feared he’d see someone else behind them. However, one look and he could see only Beelzebub, flushed and sleepy, but he could sense for certain it was Beelzebub holding that lost child and no one else. The cord that he knew that tied zir to him and no other soul pulled tight. 

“Bel-...” He stalled hearing a quick shriek in his mind making him unable to finish zir name. He sensed if he called zir by zir name it would bring the demon back to zirself. 

There was something more to these moments, he understood that he just didn’t know what. Something that yearned and wished and hoped and felt safe that was tucked so deeply within. He reasoned if ze felt that way in only these hours in the night, he’d give what ze needed. He didn’t want to know anything more. 

It didn’t hurt anything else within the Almighty’s creation. It was no one else’s business and would be no one else’s pain later, when the time came... 

He took Beelzebub’s face in his powerful hands and saw an openness and calm. Soothing temperance and gentility. All things he believed Beelzebub had been too hardened, harmed, and cowed from to reveal so easily or willingly. Or even be capable of anymore to such an extent. A questioning look came to zir eyes and Gabriel brought his lips to zir to kiss. Slow and gentle and chaste. At first. Then he was pooling all his Love and affection for zir that he could in it and felt as the demon melted in his hands like putty. A hand started to roam and pulled him in as close as ze could. 

When he pulled away, he only saw confused...affection, as though it had been older than human time itself and ze arched an eyebrow. “Keep kizzing me like that, Love, and we’ll find out how well we can manage it without disruption from a ‘generally not needy baby.’” 

He smiled at zir sleepy but happily quirking mouth and strange-for-Beelzebub declarations that didn’t seem like zir and wrapped zir and Liatris back up in his arms and rubbed zir back. “Let’s feed them and then get back to bed, my Love. Can we do that?” 

It wasn’t something he called Beelzebub ever before. But it fit…and he had permitted it to leave his lips in the Dead of night that held their secrets and made zir accepting of their made-up world. Ze kissed him once more in tacit agreement and let him lead zir and the baby to sit on the bed. 

“They really are a Blessing from Her, aren’t they, Love?” The demon hushed out as ze fed the child and caressed their chubby little wiggling cheek. Zir eyes were still so soft and warm and once again Gabriel wanted to question but held his tongue. Silenced his mind. Told himself ze were who he knew, despite the wild incongruity of zir tone and words from zir in their secret moments. Even when he was caught by the ephemeral glow from zir eyes that shone like stars cast on him, paired with that soft smile. And he agreed with zir and kissed zir cheek before ze turned back to the small soul suckling at zir breast. 

After going through the motions, Beelzebub simply resettled with Liatris against his chest and sprawled between his giant legs and let him hold zir that way. 

Ze missed how Gabriel’s features hardened as ze drifted back to sleep. His heart was hurting again, and he knew that when ze would awaken Beelzebub would be more zirself again. Withdrawn and conflicted. There was a duality about the Lord of Hell that lay in his arms with a stolen mortal child, sweetness and brimstone. But, oh, how he felt he missed zir from the nights of secret words and sweet kisses, laying against him and not bothering to return to zir side as zir breath smoothed out to the soft buzzing snores of sleep. Gabriel stole away the memory of zir openness and...zir hidden self, feared what was to come for them next and worried what tomorrow would bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re all looking to murder me, that’s totally fine. I’m halfway to doing myself in most days. But if it’s because I’m being murdered for all the angst and then cockblocking the Archangel Fucking Gabriel and the demon trying to be fucked by him, then I will die cackling because it wouldn’t be the worst way to go. 
> 
> I think there was a lot of GOOD going on in this chapter though. They tried a few things. Tried to communicate their concerns for Liatris’s safety and well-being. Gabriel’s very...attached and Bee is trying to not be attached. Both are scared, not knowing what’s to come (oh gosh, I do and I DON’T mean to cause you all anxiety, but it’s been eating away at me for WEEKS! WEEKS, I TELL YOU!) and just don’t know how to prepare. But Gabriel did negotiate some down time to make their lives more than just Bee losing zir mind and panicking about research. 
> 
> Bee is also trying to figure out the whole damned Bondmate fiasco that ze and Gabe got themselves into. Ze are trying to deny it but ze just can’t. This was not spur of the moment, I actually had intended them to be bondmates. I just did not intend for them to find out NOW. I did like explaining a wee bit about it in here and will do more in another arc (yeah, mates...I’ve made mistakes and I’m committed to them. I do have a life. I swear. But sometimes what helps me chill the fuck out is wrecking these two I guess?). On the other hand Gabriel’s like “I take my responsibilities seriously and love my wife and child. Shit. I didn’t mean to say that last part. Don’t tell my wife.” 
> 
> But what’s this about BEE being the one to call zirself mummy and Gabe papa? What’s up with that? And these nighttime kisses and now...romps ze seem happy enough to engage in? Hmmmm....Gabriel’s having his own thoughts on that too, huh? So much going on... 
> 
> I’m sorry for leading the witness, your honor, but I am an ARSEHOLE! (I’m sorry)! 
> 
> Apparently Bee is into dilfs! (I’m sorry! I’m making bad jokes!!!)
> 
> I know I keep amping up the descriptors on the physical aspects during smutty things. I know it’s not for everyone, but I hope that for people who do enjoy it (even the very cock-blocked stuff I seem to write. I’m sorry, mates! I swear to you Regency era is going to have plenty of fucking. Quite a few sections of fucking are indeed already written.) that it’s good and balanced. I want it to feel very intimate and intense and vulgar. 
> 
> One final little note, and this one is kind of neat and I remembered it after a typo, one of the known names for the demon Beelzebub is actually Bell. Gabriel has shortened it at some point in their time together and I’m not taking it back. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, because I’m just a nervous bean about this story. I think everyone’s figured out that I’ve worked very hard on this but I like to here what you think and enjoy or picked up about it. Or you know, you can tell me what you didn’t like too, maybe I can work on that. Kudos...I’m not even going to lie, I enjoy getting kudos, so if you do like this story and don’t want to comment...I’d appreciate the little nod my way. Song recs also are super enjoyable. Most of my free time there is music. If it’s not listening to something I’m asleep or working. But I have a long IB playlist and I like adding to it.


	33. Ruinous Wants & Rationality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Humans build homes, they can have children and houses and be allowed to share in affections with anyone they please. Demons and angels can’t do that. Should not want to do that. Even if they have accidentally done so with a human child they’ve stolen away from the mortal world. 
> 
> Gabriel is understandably unnerved by his second too vivid dream, Beelzebub’s odd behavioral changes, on top of all their other issues they’ve endured because of their deal. But he still believes that he is where She wants him to be, to take care of lost child and reluctant wife. It’s Heavenly decree to care for family and angelic to protect those in need, they fall under both requirements so it must be all right. 
> 
> Beelzebub has been dealing with the brunt of magical affects linked to ritual, at wits end in zir search, uncertain of everything around zir but one thing. Everything ze have been allowing up til now has been completely and absolutely not how it’s supposed to be. 
> 
> And, there is also something to twist that knife in their gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: a LITTLE gore. Self-inflicted gore/harm. Not as bad as it could have been but still there.  
> Bee also definitely has a panic attack, essentially.
> 
> I had one of those moments where the chapter wrote quickly but there were a few problematic spots. And then writing out Gabriel’s dream made me go back and pepper in small details. 
> 
> Bee’s just one mess after another. That’s it. That’s the story. 
> 
> Song recs for this chapter: 
> 
> The first half that really struck me was Not About Angels from Birdy. 
> 
> All I could hear was Florence + the Machine’s Jenny of Oldstones and Florets from Grace Vanderwaal for the middle half. I couldn’t get them out of my head so they are fitting. 
> 
> What Now from Rihanna is just pretty good for the last half of the chapter, more or less.

More. 

More time. More research. More...kisses that weren’t supposed to be had. More hand holding and holding close. More taking. More and more and more. 

Maybe less fallouts that would result in heated arguments but more physically draining seizures, forced on both demon and tiny human. 

And then Beelzebub would have a different kind of overload, still not always able to allow zirself what the angel so freely gave and feeling so much more confused than ever before, the demon would again seclude zirself in a corner and draw in on zirself. Gabriel would wait for Beelzebub to come back to him and the baby that was growing. Wait for zir to glare at him until he would wrap zir up and whisper, “it’s okay,” and that “This is no one else’s business.” 

Sometimes ze would dwell too long in the corner fretting and would cause worry. 

Of course, Gabriel wouldn’t stand for it and once again implement a new course of action; task the little flower child, who was getting better at crawling, with a mission. Let them loose and they would go right to Beelzebub. Liatris would crawl from around the bed all the way to the demon and slap at zir legs to be let into zir arms. 

The Prince of Hell could never refuse. No matter how much it hurt. Even if Gabriel would constantly reassure zir through confusing kisses that it was only their business. But that was the problem. All of it. 

The demon knew better. 

It was zir King’s business what ze did. No matter how much ze hated the feeling of being OWNED. No matter how much ze felt backwards and wrong. If not even just for Beelzebub being the Regent ruler of Hell...but Lucifer’s...Even though Gabriel was undeniably who ze were bonded to. Confusingly, infuriating, and Truly. And yet, Beelzebub was still completely ruled by Lucifer and aligned to zir King and Hell. 

Beelzebub was Lucifer’s. 

No matter how much ze hated feeling like ze were somehow keeping that secret from the angel, but ze cursed Gabriel for being the fool. Him trying to imprint his gentle touch on zir was proof of that. Ze stole his touch anyway, snuck moments of it away in zir mind. 

And Beelzebub cursed zirself for feeling guilty for it yet that didn’t stop zir from taking. Stealing from his warm body and lip’s kiss what was given. Tentatively demanding, with zir face devoid of all the anxiety and growing craving. Ze reasoned ze were a fucking demon, made sense to steal all that was good. It wasn’t zir fault Gabriel kept tempting zir with a sweet innocent child, who needed their protection and help, and his own strange...angelic affections...Telling zir it was what was simply part of Her plan and wishes. Always ready to remind zir of their nonsensical binding. 

Streams of curses were constantly mentally groused over how the Almighty had fucked around with their Lives and forced such a bond on them. Beelzebub could only dismiss it as such, still not having any rational explanation. Ze fucking hated that! 

And ze hated that ze went along with it too! 

The Demon Prince allowed the Archangel Gabriel his folly, let him drag zir along into it. Continued to let him kiss zir. Let him hold zir. Searched for his hands when ze felt like ze were losing zir mind. Found the pulse in his neck when ze would throw zirself angrily or terrified into his massive arms and keep it beneath zir lips to focus on anything but zir own anxiously thrumming in zir ears. Hold the baby closely between them as a sinking feeling set in. 

Not even sleep gave any of them much Peace. Liatris would often have little nightmares, both ethereals quick to remedy the tears and set their little heart at ease. 

There was one for the Messenger that ended with Gabriel crying, but he would not tell and asked to simply kiss the sleepy Prince, over and over again. It left the demon feeling warm, that unnerving want pulsing within zir and undeniably worried over the silent tears he shed. Aggravatingly content to hold him after. Knowing ze should have basked in his upset. Instead, ze sleepily tried to calm him, curled up with him, allowed him those kisses and touches. Wanting more. 

After that particular night, Gabriel seemed different. Apologetic. Unnerved. Searching something else in Beelzebub’s touch. It certainly confused and added a strange new step to their uncertain and peculiar dance. 

And Beelzebub had zir own nightmare. Nothing to warrant concern over third parties into leaving their current dwellings. However, the most recent made zir afraid. 

Ze had never had one like it before but, like the dream Beelzebub had after the battle, it toyed with a place ze found safest to dwell. 

Out in a field of green and white clover, thinking ze were having a Peaceful one as planned...until ze turned round. 

In zir field were angels standing in two lines as tall and still as pillars. They didn’t move but felt safe and warm yet contradictorily dangerous, unnerving...forgotten...Their faces were bright, obscured from zir vision by rays of Glory so pure ze could not look upon them. It frightened the smaller being and yet ze could not stop from walking between the two rows of silent unmoving angels. 

Beelzebub was dressed in the same white as the rest, flowing and comfortable and warm and familiar as before. 

Each being ze passed by ze could feel varying degrees of something lost, something removed. Forgotten. Chilling zir. But the memory of their warmth emanated and reached for zir. 

From one in the middle of them all, missing their partner, came a light that felt like it could scorch zir when looking on them. A fierce pull drew zir against zir will to stand before them and take in their visage, their warmth. Such a glow of Love that it was as though it was more powerful than Hers could ever be. Home. They HAD once been more precious to zir than the light the Almighty had gifted the world, to zir. 

The half sight of them made zir heart ache... 

The being was tall, that much ze could see, but the bright light obscured much. What could be seen of their form was firm and defined, a light, beautifully balanced golden sheen kissed their exposed skin, and ze could swear that this being was smiling down at zir. 

But they all felt as if they were, and it frightened the demon looking upon their unseen faces. 

Those hidden smiles alone made the demon want to leave zir field but couldn’t grasp the thread of consciousness yet. Not quite aware ze were asleep. 

Another form down the opposite side drew zir awareness and Beelzebub swore ze knew them like the back of zir hand. Someone else more precious than breath. Someone made for zir, but differently, one made of a different kind of Love that was familial rather than the being ze feared to look upon. Ze walked slowly to the slimmer form. Their skin looked kissed with the silver of the stars reflected on the water at night and nearly as pale as ze were, hair....long...but ze couldn’t make out the color. Their light too bright. The angels’ faces all too foggy, despite the clarity of their forms and sky and field around them all. 

The smile this being gave felt as warm and frightening as the last. 

But all memory taken from zir mind. 

And down the line...was a light so bright that it burned. Somehow swallowed by their darkness. 

The shadow. 

Ze felt the command to get in line, uncertain as to whom made it, the call to dance. Music twinkled into the air as though blown in by a wind and the angels around zir started to move. Partners took hands or waist to turn, taking zir with them too, circle each other. Zir feet moved automatically to a dance ze did not remember and all angels and Fallen had forgotten, their feet only remembering how to dance in battle, move for War. Around and round they all went, leaping and lifting, turning and dipping, arms raised not to strike but to an elegant dancer’s fourth. 

When the being made of stardust touched and spun with zir ze felt warmth and tenderness and sadness and a strange acceptance. They knew zir... 

When the being kissed by the sun took hold of zir waist and lift and turned with zir, zir dainty hands bracing and fitting on their broad shoulders as though they had memorized the very grove of the arch of that neck, tasted the heat of the warm flesh there, it harmed zir. Ze still could not see their face and yet ze knew this being was smiling brighter than their halo up at zir. A wholeness made and then stretched as they put Beelzebub down. They knew zir too... 

But ze were pulled away from zir ray of light... 

The next partner left a ghost of an impression. Then the next. Not the same as the beings made of stars and the sun’s light, but their warmth, kindness, the memory of all She had taken. Ze were dancing with the ghosts of memories, every time feeling familiarity and yet desperately wanting to pull away. The being made of starlight brought a salving comfort that enveloped zir every time they touched, feeling a hint of recognition with the flit of their vibrant hair that bloomed its color into Life, like red salvia, but it spirited away the almost memories when connection was lost, color fading. 

But still, none hurt as much as the brilliance of the being made of sunshine and zir heart began to pound in zir dream over the music. It was so hard it hurt zir chest and shook the dreamscape around them, but none noticed. 

The Fallen one didn’t want to touch the sun-kissed being, heartache dwelled in that touch. 

The dance made all alternate a bow to the other, then meet at center to form a steeple of arms, with pairs passing under until they met at the end to ‘merrily’ sprint out to a new position. Spin. Lift. Leap. Turn. Lead. Back to the original partners. 

Beelzebub met the comforting being of stars and felt the smile only for zir upon their face. It was one reserved for those most cherished...It made Beelzebub’s mind crawl as zir heart clenched and mourned. This being was no longer themselves and made just as ruinous as ze. Ze knew that... 

Then the demon turned to meet the being of sunshine and their hand went to zir waist and zir own to their face and they turned together, like the rest, but it felt like the world around them fell away and they were dancing alone. Each touch scorched but felt as though it was zir heart that was wounded. Ze could feel the being’s face even though they had pressed zir palm to their cheek. They were smiling so softly to zir, Beelzebub could feel it, but every feeling ze could pick up from them was damaging and ze wanted to remove zirself from their presence. RUN. But zir fingers disobeyed and chased the unseen grove of their cheek and found soft lips that pressed a small kiss to those slight digits while they continued on in unison. 

And then they were moving away from each other and Beelzebub’s eyes were chasing the bright being of sunlight. 

Turns and twists, joining hands of four in the middle to turn as one, partners being lifted and turned, hidden smiles flashing out of mind, out of sight, switching partners. One. After another after another. Hand after hand after hand. Switching partners. Until Beelzebub was before the shadow who dwarfed zir, though they weren’t much taller. 

The shadow was going to hurt zir. They weren’t going to hurt zir like the rest. 

Images draped in darkness kept crashing in the back of zir mind. Images forgotten as soon as they crested. 

The shadow reached out to zir and Beelzebub felt a change. Stifling and harsh. Ze were burning from the inside out. On the white clover field beneath zir feet were scorch marks and blood. Just zirs. It was on zir knees and zir thighs, ze could feel it staining through zir robe and confusion pressed in with loss of Hope. But it was all old...Too old...old despair… 

And the shadow was still reaching for zir...Knowing zir... 

Angelic beings were continuing to dance about, about the shadow, ignorant, and ze were overwhelmed with the need to escape. Zir heart was racing. Ze couldn’t breathe though ze weren’t supposed to need to. Too many feelings were crashing against zir, emotions ze weren’t supposed to have that left bruises, memories whispering to zir, whipping at the back of zir mind, but ze COULD NOT stop the assault. Could NOT get out. Then a rending occurred, prying and wrenching of something embedded in Beelzebub’s chest. It was the most awful thing ze had ever felt in zir remembered existence with the exception of Falling. But the demon didn’t flinch. Didn’t move. Didn’t take zir eyes off the dangerous shadow. Even when ze felt like ze were going to burst, like ze were having zir useless heart ripped from zir chest. Even with the hands of those ze couldn’t remember kept touching zir and imprinting hollow fragments of remembrance. 

A baby started to wail, too far off for zir to do anything about it or know where it was coming from. Ze only knew there was no hope for that baby. It made the pounding of zir heart intensify. Panic riddled zir. 

Then ze screamed. 

Ze were up and soaking in a freezing sweat, zir body shaking, limbs feeling numb and pained from the dream all at once. Beelzebub’s chest felt worse than being punched by Lucifer. Gabriel was on his knees beside the bed, crying baby in his arms and a hand reaching for zir to take. 

“Bee? Bee, look at me. I’m right here. We’re here.” His lavender eyes shone in the candlelight and the demon sprung out of the bed, backing into the bassinet and chest heaving. “It’s me. Just us. Liatris and me.” He stayed low with his hand outstretched and the world came crashing into the fly demon too fast. Ze got down on zir knees and curled in on zirself, digging claws into zir kneecaps without realizing it, shattering bone with an unsettling crunch. “Bella?!...” 

In a careful dash the larger being could manage, Gabriel came round to zir side and, seeing zir bloody claws taking chunks out of zir legs, sighed upset. He debated putting the baby on the bed before going to zir. 

“We’re right here, Bee. I’ll not harm you.” And when wild blue finally met lavender, he saw too much within falling from Beelzebub’s eyes. It scared the Archangel. He got down low as he could, but remained at a distance, Liatris curled in his arms, confused and warbling. Beelzebub didn’t know of the voice in his head but would have been surprised to learn that his face remained as composed as it was and not reacting in fear or pain. The frightening shrieking that he was hearing in the back of his mind, tormenting him that he could do nothing for them, was imploring him. “We’ll sit here with you, okay?” 

But the demon was too overcome with shakes, almost convulsing. Ze jerked and crawled back when he moved closer, making the angel close his eyes in worried frustration. After a time, when the baby had finally been eased and stopped crying as Gabriel rocked them, zir body looked to relax. Ze look the smallest he’d ever seen zir. Meek. 

“I’m undone now...” 

“Beelzebub?” 

Ze said nothing for a time then grunted. 

“Let me help you?” 

The next thing Gabriel knew was Beelzebub unfolding zirself in a clumsy mess, dropping a rather large shard of bone in zir disengagement. Ze went to crawl but the angel was quicker to drag zir small frame into his arms and held zir to him. Lips found his pulse and arms wrapped around a lost child and an angel. Eventually, the Prince relaxed zir grip. 

“Should we leave?” 

“No. Bad dream. Zomething elzzzzze.” 

“That bad?” 

“Zzzz’unimportant.” 

That did not line up with the near debilitating, visceral reaction and anxious buzzing, but Gabriel held his tongue. Went to kiss zir cheek and was met with lips. He wasn’t going to argue about that, even if it did surprise him. Ze took his face in zir hands and deepened the kiss, it felt made of need and want and desolation. Distant yet as though ze were trying to tether zirself in it. It was a plea for something that tasted so completely of despair and hurt. He didn’t know what to do with that except kiss zir back. 

They broke and Beelzebub was gently petting back the hair from his face, kissed his brow and pressed zir forehead to his, scrunching zir eyes shut. It was so unlike zir it only added to Gabriel’s uncertainty and concern. Things had returned to simpler kisses and holding the other since that secret night of kissing and touching and almosts and the angel was actually spooked into watching zir behaviors more closely since. Nothing off-putting happened after that night – all use of very specific names never used again as though never uttered – and on every inspection he always found Beelzebub looking back on him, scowling as ze usually did. 

The Archangel picked them up, Liatris quick to wiggle into the demon’s arms, and brought both behind the room divider and helped zir through the process of undressing, healing, and washing. 

Gabriel was unaware that ze were cursing that the one who remained steadfast at zir side was an enemy and touched zir so carefully; sweetly and tenderly. Ze kept telling zirself that this was all built out of necessity to cooperate – being his very angelic nature – and they were both being careless in their pretending. Ignoring zir own reasoning, ze kept clutching the angel and didn’t let go until ze had to in order to get in the tub and turn from the Archangel as he began to pour warm water down zir back. It felt safer in zir enemy’s arms as ze knew that one day those gentle hands would be used against zir, it was only a matter of time and wouldn’t be a surprise. A promise. 

Beelzebub took Peace in relying on that. 

“Bella?” A mighty hand hovered open over the burn scar in the shape of that ‘mysterious’ hand on zir back, contemplating how it never changed even as he healed zir so many times. 

“Mmm?” 

“…Nevermind.” He said as he carefully scrubbed over it. Sneaking a kiss to the back of zir neck, grabbing at the reaching chubby baby hand to kiss the palm of as means of cover. 

Bath time ended when Liatris ended up seizing while they soaked. Beelzebub rushed the child into the angel’s arms and the two did everything they could to try and help them to only end up feeling as lost and frustrated as ever – completely emotionally ruined – when it finished. Liatris looked so tired and weak and the demon looked more diminished than usual. 

“I’ll get you something to eat now and let’s just...give them a little extra attention today, okay? We’ll take it easy.” 

He didn’t leave them til ze were dried, warm, and dressed in a fresh nightgown and Liatris was settled in their arms in the rocking chair. He kissed them both and was off to get back to them sooner. Gabriel had his wits about him enough to ask the house mistress make Beelzebub stew again. On hearing baby and wife weren’t feeling particularly well that day, the woman looked the angel over with serious hazel eyes and was quick to prepare something that even the Archangel couldn’t deny smelled delicious. 

“You take care of your Loves, don’t you?” 

Taken aback, the angel had to catch a few items he nearly knocked over with a startled flutter of his wings flitting briefly into the mortal plain. He HOPED the woman didn’t notice that, but she seemed unfazed. “Of course! I’m bound to them; I should treat them with Love.” 

“Nah. You Love them and made them bind to you.” 

He was weary to allow talks about binding with anyone else; his dealings with Beelzebub, Prince of Below, definitely did not start off with Love to make him bind himself to zir. The celestial looked uncomfortably around the room, but he had to stay for the meal being prepared and couldn’t NOT answer. “I don’t know. I didn’t Love them before...But...I’ve come to-...don’t think I’ve had much choice.” 

“Oh, I don’t know about that, sir. You seemed to have chosen to Love them extra. Not many folk are so doting on sick wives and babies.” She eyed him as she stirred the pot 

“I don’t see why that would affect someone’s Love for another. God’s orders are clear.” 

“I hear them both sometimes as I go to my rooms. The poor dears have it bad. If the Mistress is ill most would believe she gave her sickness to the baby.” 

“She didn’t! And I should still Love and care for them. No matter what.” Gabriel nearly minced out his words and had to remind himself that the woman couldn’t know what was going on and he should have patience. Control. 

“That’s a dangerous thought for two such as you, Mister ray-of-sunshine.” Again, with the eyes. “Complete...opposites.” 

“It’s not.” But all Gabriel could think of was that on some level Beelzebub was waiting for him to turn on zir. Didn’t believe ze were safe with him, zir opposition, completely. Didn’t even seem to know... 

-Well...it’s like a slightly older Liatris NEVER said...She’s a demon and I’m an angel...But she must know, Love is actually in my job description. 

“Well, good sir, your wife and child are blessed to have you. Now, off with you before you destroy my kitchen. Your wife needs you.” And the mistress took the cast iron pot he had broken the handle of at some point from him and sent him out of her kitchen with warm food and waving her hands at him. 

A bit more unsettled than before, and more than worried over their day’s beginnings, Gabriel went back only to find Beelzebub spasming on the floor. Liatris ok but wailing, big crocodile tears in their purple eyes, and tapping the demon with their tiny baby arms. In seconds Gabriel was at their side in a panic. He did what he could in healing zir and waited for zir to come to. Rocking them both, his nerves a mess until ze opened zir eyes and ze looked both tired and positively furious. If ze had the strength Gabriel was certain ze’d take down a fleet. Instead, the demon took hold of the child and looked them over carefully, commenting that ze’d felt the start and got them both on the floor before ze could drop the baby but things got cloudy. 

“Well...let’s get you taken care of. Then you can eat. Then-” 

“We’re getting worse, Gabriel.” 

“...I know.” 

“That’s the second we’ve each had this week alone.” 

It was True they were getting progressively worse. Liatris was finally getting a pallor about their small face and dark circles beneath their eyes, much like the demon’s and was NOT how Gabriel wanted the baby to resemble his wife. The seizures and fits started to come every other week and Beelzebub forced the Archangel to check into Heaven more, saying it could be Liatris’s only hope if something were to happen to Beelzebub. 

If there was only one well to draw energy from... 

“Let’s focus on getting you both comfortable. I got you stew that you like.” He helped zir up on shaky limbs, once again, to clean up and change. Afterwards, no one argued and curled up on the bed, getting distracted with a tired Liatris who tried weakly to babble and wiggle between them as half-hearted research or paperwork held no one’s attention. It was a lazy day of what was essentially cuddling. Heads on shoulders, fingers tangling with someone else’s or in another’s hair, little baby gnawing on Buggy while laying out in the lap of whoever gained Liatris’s attention at the moment. At one point someone kissed the other’s hand. And baby saw and attempted, resulting in “wah!” noises that earned chuckles. 

At one point the angel stole the book from the demon, tossing it into the bassinet and earning an “oi!” before pulling Beelzebub to lay in his lap. Ze growled as ze tried to carefully adjust Liatris in zir lap, “You absolute twa-ooo! Git!” But there was laughter and the baby growled as they tried their best to crawl closer. A headbonk later and the demon was worriedly chuckling at the child, kissing their bumped noggin. 

“We should be glad that you have such a soft human head, but really it just makes me concerned about your brain if you keep doing that, little one.” And ze were met with a little happy squawk and bubbly smile that ze tried to scowl at. “Silly little mortal, shouldn’t be smiling at a demon. Zpecially not one such as I.” 

Gabriel could only raise his eyebrows as he watched Beelzebub continue to coo at the child and plant kisses over their face and bite at Liatris’s cheek, earning a wide-mouthed squeal. A rumble of gurgles and slobbery baby kisses back had the demon chuckling and the Archangel’s heartstrings being pulled at until his wife gasped. 

“Gabriel, look!” And ze were scooting zir back to press against his chest, making him readjust them both for comfort to see exactly what Beelzebub was, dare he say, excited to show him. The baby babbled and Beelzebub used zir pointer to make the little one burble, only earning a chuckle from both ethereals. “You’re not helping, lamb, let us show the angel. Show me your fang.” 

“Wait? A fang? Shouldn’t that be a concern?” He eyed zir in clear alarm. 

“My tit is certainly concerned. But no, not meaning a real fang. Heavens and Hells, think you’d learn by now.” Ze cackled. 

And after having zir knuckle nibbled on, a few more squawks and growls and laughs exchanged, the Prince was able to reveal a single little cut in their gum. Liatris’s first baby tooth. 

“There it is!” Ze smiled brightly, too much so for a trivial human development, even after the child started to gnaw on zir hand again. “Z’difficult to tell with you, you’re usually so smiley but you’ve certainly been a bit nippier, lately. Zhould freeze wet rags for you.” 

Ze ignored the thoughts of when the baby was often terrified into crying or in too much pain brought on by occult measures for them to notice regular human pains from development...Instead, ze distracted zirself with a smiley baby that crawled all over zir and tried to get to their wobbly knees and latched onto the angel’s shirts to make faces and noises at him. Beelzebub couldn’t stop zirself from wrapping an offending hand in his that ze hadn’t noticed had snuck around zir. Couldn’t stop zirself from feeling content as ze felt his fingers turn the ring he gave zir around. Couldn’t stop the laugh that burst from zir mouth as the angel blew raspberries against the baby’s cheek to make them squeal and giggle. 

The giggle. It was secretly what ze considered music to zir heart...No one would ever know. 

They continued on in that vein til around noon until the baby tired so much that they conked out for a nap, laying their small form over Beelzebub’s chest. The two left awake lay where they were for a bit, Gabriel running a hand through zir hair, til the little one wiggled for comfort and they all shifted. 

“Hand me my book, won’t you, Darling?” 

Couldn’t argue when the demon sounded so sweet and they both looked so comfortable. Retrieving it how it lay open from the bassinet, keeping the page it landed open on, Gabriel instantly thought it good leverage. He sat at the demon’s side and silently demanded a trade for information; pulling the book away from zir with a mischievous smirk on his face. He could see the gears working and saw Beelzebub purse zir lips as ze finally conceded defeat with a roll of zir eyes. 

Ze grasped at his kerchief and slowly pulled the angel close. A kiss to his nose was what the Messenger received but he didn’t leave, not that zir grip was allowing him to go either. Ze glared at him even though ze were making the conscious decision to pull him closer, using his jesting demands and zir exhaustion as an excuse to...take that step. 

He let zir have control again but wrapped zir and the child cradled in zir arms up. Ze were the one to slip zir tongue in his mouth and press closer sighing, allowing him to feel the pleased buzz resonate in zir chest. A hand went weaving up zir back into zir hair and felt the softness of zir curls slinking around his fingers. His nose grazed zir cheek and ze nipped his lip, earning a heady sigh. Gabriel couldn’t deny how good it felt to have zir lips on his, even when it made him dizzy. 

What felt too soon after starting, Beelzebub started to feel feverish and for once it was Gabriel to stop things, pulling away to kiss zir brow and press his to zirs, shutting his lavender eyes from zir confused blues. 

“Don’t want to wake the baby and you’re feeling too warm.” He chanced looking zir over, “I’m worried for you.” 

And the demon scoffed, “Worried for your enemy, I was wrong; you are funny, Archangel.” 

“I’m worried for my wife and the child we keep...” 

Ze scrutinized his intense amethyst gaze and wondered again how he could say such things. And then wondered over how it was that those words made zir once thought Dead heart flutter, grimacing through the thought and feel of it. Beelzebub couldn’t even be satisfied with the fact that there was no LIE to his words. It helped nothing that he placed another kiss on zir cheek. 

-Taking this pretend too far, Gabriel... 

“Strange pigeon. Don’t think this’ll make me go easy on you during Armageddon. I will whip you Mercilessly.” Ze said as ze ran zir hand over the length of the now wrinkled kerchief, only making the Archangel smile down at zir. The demon completely ignored (tried to anyway) how his eyes twinkled and his eyebrows reached his hairline. 

-The FUCK are they teaching these angels?! WHERE is he getting...Oh, I am too fucking tired for this. 

Ze absolutely did not blush and wonder just WHAT he could be thinking. Not. At. All. “I’m zzaying I’m gonna to leave you bruised and battered. Ztop making thoze faces, pigeon. I’m going to hurt you.” 

Gabriel kissed zir disbelieving angry mouth again and shook his head at zir, handing the opened book over. “I expect you to, Bell. Be at your best.” 

-If you’re at your best, come The End, then you’ll have survived this. 

He found he couldn’t say that and watched as zir glare intensified, making him want to laugh. Gabriel kissed zir a little forcefully on that angry pout and earned a hard smack to his arse and an angry little grunt. That did make him chuckle. 

The Messenger decided to make zir some of the tea the demon mentioned was good to ease stress. However, after setting the kettle over the fire, getting the teacup ready the Archangel of Communications felt a burst of elation radiate the room. Shocking and overpowering, making him nearly drop the teacup...Then a wave of loss chased it almost snuffing it out entirely...Turning back he noticed Beelzebub’s Heavenly blue eyes were large and there was a look of hope and growing despair, a desolate finiteness weaving the two together. 

The book in zir hand held all zir attention. 

“Bee…What’s wrong?” 

Ze shook zir head too quickly and he was back to zir side, laying his hands on the demon that started to shake. He watched zir look to the sleeping infant in zir arms and saw zir chest heave once than stop moving completely. Shutting down. 

“I found zzzzzomething. I think…I think zizzzizzz it, Archangel.” 

And instead of the relief he felt for being able to SAVE the child – which he did feel – something devastating bloomed in his own chest. “What do you mean.” 

“Zzzzzomething that could zzever tiezzz of one feeding on a zzzoul. It dealzz zpeczzifically with conzzumatzzion bondzzz in zzummoningzz and zzzzzacrificzzze. The markingzzz, zome are the very onezzz I zzaw...” 

“Are you certain?” 

Blue eyes finally met his for a brief second before tearing away, “Have to thoroughly check. But it lookzz to be...Liatris will be zzzaved.” Ze sighed, the relief hitting and mixing with hope. The quashing with a renewed revelation. “Then we’ll need to...That wazzz the whole point of zizz. We ztayed together to zzave them. We aren’t zzzzuppozzzed to h...” 

Gabriel was making faces and suddenly didn’t seem to know where to put his hands until he made a decision. The Leader of the Heavenly Host took hold of zir face and held zir to make zir look at him. “We’re married. We’re bonded. Because She made it so. And Liatris is-” But hearing mention of the Almighty and the bond only seemed to anger the Prince and ze tried to talk over him and say, “ZZZZhe’zzz done NOTHING. Zzzhe doezzzn’t GIVE anything. Zzhe takezzz.” but Gabriel forged on. “I am with you, right now, because at first there was no choice, but-” 

“Don’t!” And both ethereals startled and froze as the child that still required saving whimpered loudly and squirmed in the demon’s arms until they resettled. “Don’t be foolizzzh, Lov-...I KNOW who we are and we are not zzu-” 

“Liatris was given to-“ 

“Zzztop.” 

“Bella, please listen to me. Nothing has to change between us. The baby…they didn’t change us, they just allowed us...” Wavering fingers traced zir cheeks as he tried to get zir to look him in the eyes but zir mouth was clenched tight and Beelzebub was shaking zir head. “We were married before this whole ordeal, that hasn’t changed. And we still have much to do to take care of Liatris.” 

“You have to lizzzzten to reazzon. We are not azzzz we zzzhould be, Mezzzzzenger, and when we give them bac-…" Ze looked like ze were fraying. Cutting into zirself as ze attempted to harden. 

Gabriel was not fairing any better, cursing handing zir that book. He cursed picking it up from Aziraphale and wondered just how it was that an angel would be in possession of something like it. He cursed Aziraphale for good measure because he certainly couldn’t curse the Almighty. Even though Gabriel was certain it was Divine Intervention and couldn’t argue with it, he had handed it right to zir...He cursed himself. It was a sign it was time to end things... 

-Just moments ago she was kissing me. We were fine! And now... 

Beelzebub was shaking zir head again, but Gabriel wasn’t having it and pulled zir into his embrace. 

“We can’t rush something so dangerous. Then after, be sure it HAS worked. And then we’ll have to be certain that Giordano won’t go after Liatris.” He rubbed zir back and tried to calm zir, even as ze near shouted, “we can’t!” But Gabriel shook his head, unmoving, certain of what he was saying. “He made moves to recapture them twice that we are aware of, I don’t think he’ll stop even if we sever his link. Till then we continue to...cooperate as we have...” 

And the Archangel pulled away just enough to peer down into chaotic eyes to…make sure ze were still there with him. The Prince could feel Gabriel’s agitation and confusion escalate, uncertainty complicating zir own demands and wants. Yet, all ze could do was shake zir head again and try to draw in on zirself as best ze could, feeling fragmented. 

“Why are you being like this?” 

“We can’t keep them. We aren’t even zzuppozzzzzzed to be-It’zzz not like we had-You and-” 

“Why do you want to get rid of them so badly?!” 

He wanted to say “us” but he just couldn’t. The baby was safer to demand for. 

“I don-…........We need to prepare, Love. You need to be realizzztic.” There was so much sadness in zir quieting words, zir cold face was twitching and all of Gabriel’s anger and frustration dissipated watching zir try to conceal zir despair. “We knew we would be returning them to the humanzzz.” 

“...We do. We did.” A hand was in zir hair, then tracing zir features, kissed zir cheeks and nose, trying to ground himself in touching zir and remembering, trying to soothe zir. Ze hated that Gabriel kept touching zir like so and grimaced, clamping zir eyes tight. “However, we do it smartly and don’t rush to conclusions. It is good that we’ll be able to save them.” 

Finally, ze nodded. That was an undeniable agreement from both of them. But his face scrunched up again and he looked down at the child they had carefully tucked between them both. 

“I know I can’t keep you...but I’m not going to chance or toss you and Liatris away. We don’t alter what we’ve been doing. We do this carefully, okay?” He looked down at zir as sternly as ze have ever seen him, all previous mirth or playfulness gone from his features. His words pained zir again and it made the demon want to scream at him to leave and yet wanted to curl up into his embrace and never let go. Someone else let zir go easily and zir King and Lord tore zir down to keep zir close; Gabriel simply held zir and was trying to beg zir to not...ze weren’t even sure what Gabriel was asking zir. Ze kept telling zirself it was all pretend. Beelzebub couldn’t function enough to try to think it through and nodded at him again and felt dread and anguish crush zir. 

-We haven’t been who we are, Gabriel... 

Before Beelzebub could utter words ze knew ze should have, bring him back to reality, the angel was talking again. 

“Check it over. Later. You and Liatris DO need to rest after what happened today.” 

-It will only make it harder, angel. We’ve gone about this all wrong! 

The kettle started to whistle, startling them both. It had been completely forgotten. The angel ran his hand over his face and went to take care of zir tea. On his way back, cup and saucer in hand, Gabriel looked them over and tried to take in every feature, defeated as ze were. 

“Tomorrow. We rest today.” 

“And what if we both suffer another fit tomorrow; do we rest then too?” 

Setting things down as he sat at zir side, taking the book from zir to pointedly lay it face down, the Leader of the Heavenly Host took in the being that was his wife and snuck his hand into zirs. 

“We manage.” 

“We...You’ll?...We? We’ll need to find zzzzzomeone zzzuit-...zzzzafe enough.” Ze angrily bite zir lip, Gabriel already stopping zir with an annoying finger to zir lips. 

He sighed, completely frustrated and feeling drained but nodded. “Later, dear. We’ll figure that out later.” 

Gabriel decided to Hell with it all and forced his way between Beelzebub’s legs to lay against zir just as ze would do to him. He shifted Liatris to be supported in their arms, his pillow supporting their small body. Nose to nose with the sleeping, tired baby, Gabriel lay his head against Beelzebub’s chest and listened to zir heart and wrapped zir up. “Rest.” 

Brushing aside zir common sense, Beelzebub buried zir face in Gabriel’s hair. Ze breathed in the scent of rain kissed flowers that belonged to the Archangel of the Dawn, felt his soft lips on zir chestbone when ze knew ze shouldn’t allow him. Should have been weary of such an intimate gesture and compromising position. Should have been ready to bolt. Instead, the Prince of Hell let his kiss try to give zir comfort and warmth. And with a tug of his silky ponytail, Beelzebub met his confused lips with searching kisses, laced with zir anger and anguish and heartache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I angsting right? 
> 
> THIS was a difficult chapter. It’s getting to be that time. This was where this chapter was going and could no longer be put off or pushed back (which is why I decided to put Gabriel’s fairly pointless dreams on a separate arc for it. It brought us nowhere). Babies take a lot of work and this just...got more complicated for the trio. A lot more difficult. 
> 
> I did have fun with this dream in particular of Bee’s. Unsettling and creepy. Gabriel got a full two chapters of a really interesting and hurtful one that can be read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27581072/chapters/67469300 
> 
> And I wrote them both very quickly. Bee was going to have another out of sinc one that felt more dreamlike in comparison to Gabe’s. His was meant to be part his desires to build with a horrific realization that it was most likely never going to be, shown out in his dreamworld, showing how dangerous it was. Bee’s was another invasion of zir safe space and hitting zir with that past ze are STILL wanting to keep forgotten. It just hurts too much for zir and Bee can’t cope with it. 
> 
> Another fun thing about the dreams is that Gabriel now has things stuck in his head that he’s brought into the story, and they are sad. Like the “like Liatris never said...” bit. I hurt my own feelings with that one. 
> 
> By the way, anyone else enjoy the house mistress? I added a bit more for her in, like half that scene, after Gabriel’s dream was published. 
> 
> Yeah, it’s going to get a little harder for them from here on out. They're both happy but really sad, because of what it will mean. Ugh! I can’t talk about it any more, I do want to hear your thoughts and feelings. Let me know, I love reading and responding to your comments. 
> 
> CON-CRIT is much obliged. Music recs make my head spin right round. I hope you like what I’ve written and shared on my part. Anywho, let’s see where this goes. 
> 
> Keep safe! Try to stay hydrated, wear your masks and wash your hands and all that jazz! <3


	34. Secret Sorrows We Keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub and Gabriel START to talk about the ritual they need to prepare, however the Messenger derails things when he fixates on being more angel of God, rather than their joint predicament. This leads to Beelzebub failing to refocus the conversation and drag out a secret that’s been held close to Gabriel’s heart for millennia. One Beelzebub does not wish to learn and sets zir spiraling with its implications for zir and Liatris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are warnings: panic attack, suicidal ideations briefly brought up in a very offhanded way. Unaddressed trauma. Abandonment issues. 
> 
> I can’t think of anything else, but you know to leave a note for me and I will adjust this list accordingly. 
> 
> The sub-title of this chapter is: Gabriel, the Archangel of Communications, is lousy at his one job but does excel at terrifying demons. 
> 
> I have to make a confession. I was going to have this go a little differently (not as heavy) then I went...but what if...because I thought it was time for another little pointless punch to the gut. This chapter was going to go a little easier, but only by a bit. 
> 
> Music rec for this chapter is: Ribs by The Crane Wives and Jamais Vu from BTS

“Alright, let’s go over this again; you said that this particular ritual takes care of the link to infernal bonds.” 

“Correct.” 

“Now. Important question that needs an answer: would this include your own to the baby?” He asked pointedly. 

“...I don’t know...” 

“...Right.” He kept his face blank as he mulled over his next question, crossing his arms. 

“The spell may hinge on the difference between Life Essence and siphoning bonds. It’s not as though it’s ever been tested to check, that I’m aware of.” 

“Does it vanquish and destroy the infernal?” 

“Depends. However, I do know the components to substitute for that.” 

“Beeeee.” He scrunched up his face and rubbed his jaw. 

“With what there is already mentioned in the ritual, there is room for error with the current ingredients.” 

“Bee! Take this more seriously. This could potentially really hurt OR kill you.” 

“I am taking this seriously. When aren’t I?” Zir face barely scrunched up in frustration, not looking away from the book. “Other angels would think of it like how the humans say, ‘two birds, one stone.’” However, Beelzebub’s reckless behavior really did boil some kind of human gross matter on Gabriel’s corporation, he was too upset to care to remember any colloquialisms. He threw his arms out in exasperation. 

“HOW can you-...Look. I don’t know why you think that’s okay to even consider, because it’s really not.” He turned to allow the child that was swaddled in the wrap on his back to see the demon. He heard Liatris gurgle happily and felt them flap their hands to reach for zir. “And, since you seem to forget; your own essence is within this child, shaping them as they grow. Kind of important you keep existing.” 

Beelzebub glared and raised an imperious brow, fully turning to him and laying the book on the table. “What if I don’t WANT them to be made of my ezzenzze?” Ze shook zir head, trying to dismiss the thoughts. “Zzz’no good for them.” 

“Do you not know how giving part of your essence works, Beelzebub? What it means for them if something vanquishes YOUR infernal essence and destroys you?” 

The demon grimaced and clenched zir jaw tight, hating that ze didn’t. “Zziz iz-umph-the first time I’ve ever done this. I imagine zzhould I Die then they are free.” Ze took the baby from him because ze were in need of seeing and ensuring the tinier babbling being was fine. 

He stood there staring as zir words sunk in, feeling the Truth of it weigh in his gut. 

-Is Liatris’s Life and being free of you actually worth your own, demon?… 

“Enough, Bee. You didn’t simply reestablish their tether to the mortal plain, you gave them a part of you. Connecting-“ 

“We got that, pigeon.” Ze snapped as ze bounced the child who was touching zir face and cooing up at zir. 

“Okay. But have you read the reports that it is lethal for the Living human relying on essence, if their benefactor is destroyed? At this stage, Liatris is Alive as you are constantly supplying them with your Life force to keep them here, grounding them.” He shrugged, “From what else I’ve read, it has been known to enhance their strength but that wouldn’t save them.” 

Beelzebub didn’t usually waste much energy on frivolous movements, Liatris was the only reason ze moved much, like now. What Gabriel said stopped that and zir heartbeat too. 

“But...they have you. They zzhould be zzzafe becauzzze of you.” 

Gabriel shook his head, “We don’t know that if one of us is destroyed the other link will sustain. It’s always been a volatile act. And no one’s ever had two ethereal beings – nevermind opposing energies – give the breath of their Life.” 

“No...No, Liatris doezzn’t need me-” 

“Look.” He took zir hand and lay it over the child’s chest, it was unnecessary, but Gabriel had noticed the stronger connection over the child’s heart. “You can feel it still. It is affected by us both, so I do believe they need you too...So, we need to be careful. We can’t risk you not even with a minor discorporation.” 

“You aren’t zzzertain.” 

“You want to chance that?” He snipped at zir. “Every one of Heaven’s agents that can account for the act has been able to verify the soul that ascends after. From what records your department has shared, I’ve learned the soul linked usually descends into Hell for their connection upon Death of infernal benefactors, so the numbers add up with a paper trail and the destroyed.” His features softened as he touched the child’s head in concern, they looked back at him with such a big smile Gabriel couldn’t stop from smiling back. However, it was short Lived, seeing Beelzebub’s tumultuous expression. He did know Beelzebub not-so-secretly wanted the child free of zir domain but wasn’t quite expecting the sharp terror that spiked in zir. “Unless their Life was bartered for under a third-party clause, of course, relieving them of Sin and barring they lead a good Life up until time of Death. Humans seem to do that with demons for Loved ones alot.” 

“I…I’ve made no dealzzz with the mortal child, I zzzwear it! I gave them no choizzze! They can’t even talk!” The demon looked completely shocked, a quiver to zir very form and zir hold on the baby seemed a bit precarious; zir eyes wavered. “They were Dying!” 

“Bee, I know.” He held his hands up and went to touch zir but ze pulled away. 

“We made a deal FOR them!” 

“I know.” 

“I…I…Gabriel, Love, what if I Damned them?!” Ze started to hyperventilate, shocking the Archangel, but Gabriel was already bringing zir to the rocking chair, knowing how to handle it. 

“Bell, it’s okay. Really, our deal was to save their Life to restore balance. I don’t think that will affect them negatively.” 

“How can you when you’ve zzzaid-…Ezzzpeazzz-” 

“Because we were the ones dealing. It’s as you said, they had no choice.” 

“But they zzhare my-Gabriel, they’re-…” 

He sympathized with the unraveling demon, understanding why; ze were the very essence of evil after all. However, saying that seemed to be the exact wrong thing to say. And it hadn’t been his intent to frighten, only to try and get zir to not endanger zirself again. 

“I won’t let them stray. Okay?” He was rubbing zir arms until a baby hand was grabbing his nose. “Minor demonic-like nuisances aside; Liatris will be fine.” He grabbed their hand and nibbled on tiny fingers, making the flower child giggle. 

“Love.” 

“Yes?” 

“Don’t promizze what you cannot enzzure.” 

“I will guide them and keep them on the path to Salvation til their last breath.” 

The demon shuddered and recoiled, zir eyes watered. A hand decidedly went to his kerchief to grip but then carefully slid to his chest over his heart. A smaller hand slapped at zirs and Gabriel clasped his hands over both. Liatris gave a, “waaaaaah!” Then burbled and squawked, tongue wagging. 

“Do not let them fall becauzzze of me…” 

“I promise…” 

It took a while before Beelzebub regained a bit of zir composure, but as soon as ze did, Gabriel sprang into action. To steal a kiss. Then wrapped his broad arms around zir waist to settle his torso like a cat (or a rather large dog that THOUGHT he was a cat) in the disturbed Prince of Hell’s lap, kneeling before zir and quite content. They remained that way for a while longer. 

“Now. Is there a way to ENSURE that you and your bond to Liatris won’t be touched? Can we destabilize only the threat?” 

Ze were absentmindedly stroking a hand over Gabriel’s back, looping his hair into perfect ringlets. The ever present scent of rosemary that lingered on the child with the scent of Death invaded zir thoughts and gave spark to an idea. “Rosemary. There’zz otherzzz...Asafoetida...sage, not the plant type that dwellz here, but in...in Italy...” 

“What are you thinking?” 

“What Giordano uzzed on me, before...most of it izz very useful for our needs. A combination izz lizted and can banish hiz tie, paired with the rosemary it can bind him to this plain and neither discorporate nor send him to the pitz.” Ze rolled the last sour flavor over in zir mind, the one Gabriel did sometimes ask zir to trace, but came up blank. “It won’t stop him from making chase.” 

“Mmm. We’ll prepare for it.” He went to nip tiny baby ankle and missed, nipping a demon. 

“Gabriel!” Zir whole body jerked and the mortal laughed. 

A memory from a dream made the angel think. Quickly, it led him down a dark road. But only for a moment. 

He quickly distracted his dark thoughts with other memories that never happened; of a young child’s squeals and laughter, joined by those of a demon’s. Then a smile that only a devilish mischief-maker would make erupted on the Archangel’s face, which on looking up at his two accidental companions made one scowl and the other bubble in little squawky giggles. “Bee...Keep in mind you’re holding the precious innocence in our care...” 

“Why?” Ze growled suspiciously, still rubbing where Gabriel nipped zir. 

The only response ze got were fingers in zir sides, making zir yelp out a laugh and smack the angel at the same time. Right across the face. 

Both beings froze in shock! 

The Messenger held a hand over the slight throb of his cheek, it didn’t hurt nearly as much as it should have. Beelzebub’s eyes went so wide and Gabriel sensed zir fear build again. But Liatris gave a full-bodied baby cackle, tossing their little baby head back, making Gabriel ignore the pleasant sparks he’d felt low in his gut and join in with a snort. 

“Z’not funny! Why are you laughing?!” 

“It kind of is. Come here, I promise not to tickle you again.” 

“M’not ticklizzh!” 

“Even the human can tell you’re lying, demon.” He leaned in and kissed zir burning red cheek, traveling across with kisses to zir mouth which ze eventually squirmed away from to growl. 

“Why are you like zzizzz?!” 

“She made me this way.” He said just before starting a small-scale assault of tickling the baby’s little tummy, earning peals of laughter as they squiggled and wiggled in Beelzebub’s arms, making zir look down at them in soft wonder with an even softer smile. 

“I just can’t get over their little laugh. It’s perfect. They’re perfect.” 

“Tickle them too much and you’ll be cleaning the perfect wee they’ll make in a few seconds.” Ze half-glared at him and stayed his hand, before he did overtax the infant. 

“Well, I don’t want to MAKE them urinate themselves, but it would be my turn to change them anyway.” He shrugged, unfazed by zir baiting. 

“Who is this angel, and what did he do to my husband?” The demon feigned shock. The angel only smiled as Beelzebub’s words made his ears and cheeks turn pink. 

“They’re human and a baby. They do all the human things.” 

The baby hiccupped. 

“Like that.” He pointed with one of his goofy smiles. Liatris hiccupped again. 

“Oh no, little lamb, you have hiccups?” The hiccups continued and they smiled up at zir. That smile was infectious. Liatris laughed more and leaned against zir chest and Beelzebub ‘pinched’ their nose as they hiccupped a few more times. “I’ll take them away.” 

But the child was hiccupping still and Beelzebub wrapped them up and giggled out a deep and warm sound. The sight and sound made Gabriel feel warmth emanate from his chest, zir laugh was still strange, but so very pleasing. 

“Sweet flower.” And as though a switch had been flipped ze were shifting the conversation back, despite not moving. “I’ll make a list of thingzz for you to pick up. Asafoetida will send you far but you’ll be able to pick up a metal amulet that lookzz like a tear drop. We’ll have it scribed by a man named Margos. I’ll draw it out for you with instruction on where to find him, he will need time to craft it.” Ze hadn’t seemed to realize Gabriel’s hand had found its way in zirs but kept it. The demon was also kissing the baby’s brow, doing a lot of things ze never would have wanted to do and not thought capable of. “Oh! You can get a protection charm for Liatris. I’ll draw one out special to commizzzion from him too.” 

“A protection charm? These will help?” 

“You can rezzt azzured, Gabriel, Margozz is a skilled craftzzman.” 

He arched an eyebrow at zir, suddenly falling into his usual Holy roll as defender of Heaven and humanity from the whiles of evil. “One of yours?” 

“No.” Ze shifted minutely, observing the change. “I pay well for hizz work.” 

And Gabriel held up a free hand, “If he is Sinning-” 

“He’zz worked zzpellwork for me in the pazt. Mere charmzz.” Ze growled. “And now, I’ll have him under my protection azz we have uzzze of hizz zkill.” 

“But is he your follower?” 

“No. I have him work for me, but I return no favorzzz to him. I’ve paid in human coin. I didn’t deal for hizz eternal zoul or giftzz.” Gabriel looked like he was about to say something in doubt, but Beelzebub went to stop him. “If we need the human’zz work in the future for Liatris, we’ll need him untouched.” 

“What else could we need him for-“ 

“Drop it.” Ze pulled away, retracting zir hand and remembering again they were enemies. The Lord of Hell stared down at the Archangel of God kneeling at zir feet. “If you so much azz think think about- “ 

“I won’t. If he does no harm.” 

The demon grunted in exasperated fury. Liatris made little nervous sounds between hiccups as Beelzebub pushed out of the rocking chair and passed Gabriel, who did his best to move out of zir way, getting hit by zir voluminous skirts. He sprung to his feet and followed the stomping devil. 

“What izzz it with you angelzzz azzzuming everything my kind doezz leadzzz to Zin and evil? Condemn thozze given a breath of Life?! And now irrelevant mortal zalezz too?!” Ze spun round and glared up at Gabriel, alarming him. “Margozzz izz a tool. My tool. But he hazzz done nothing to warrant Divine punizzzhment.” 

He tried to get a word in but ze were backing him up with each solid step forward. “He is if doing the deeds and tending to the whims of the wicked! A Sin as She decrees it.” 

“Zhe izz Greedy for adoration and blind adherenze, if that’zz the cazze.” 

“You call the Almighty, the one who gave us all Life and existence, Greedy. That’s blasphemous, demon.” He growled, stopping in his tracks. “And yet you wonder why I’m certain that this witch you employ is a Sinner.” 

“Your kind are zo quick to pazzz judgement!” 

“That’s what we do, Sunshine! Cast down the unHoly and evil.” 

“You azzzume-“ 

“Because chances are, if he’s in league with a devil, he is Sinning.” 

“Working. For. Not ‘in league.’ Get the amuletzzzz I am ordering and leave. Him. Be. Mezzenger. We have other matterzz to worry about.” Ze buzzed out ominously at him. 

“But IF, and I mean this, Beelzebub, if he is, I will have to deal with him accordingly.” 

“You obzztinate, unhearing prat! You zzzmite and cazzte with eaze. Everyone. Without regard.” 

“As I am Her right hand, I follow Her orders. Since the Rebellion. This is not new, just because I allow you when you aren’t dealing in Sins or am ordered to work alongside you doesn’t mean I can allow those that you influence.” 

And Beelzebub reared back as though slapped, blinking rapidly. Zir features twisted in anger, chest heaving. 

Ze spit, “Yezzz. Zzooo I’ve heard. You cazzte down many, I’ve heard the ztoriezz of the Great Rebellion and dizzcorporazzzionzz zince. Been wondering when you would do me the ‘honor’ prior to our arranged engagement.” Zir eyes were glassy and shimmered up at him. Liatris sadly cooed and wrapped their weak arms around zir neck and, looking down at the child that the angel was so adamant in saying was so much like zir, Beelzebub decided to aim words to maim at God’s Messenger. 

And in that moment that he could see the thought twist in zir head; watched the look to zir icy blue eyes. He remembered the Heavenly eyes of Beelzebub pin him after seeing zir changing form slip through the smoke before challenging Gabriel, during the Rebellion. It pierced his mind’s eye and he saw a sliver of that same despairing Wrath within the Damned being now. 

“Before. How many did you throw down, mighty Archangel? Family?...Friendzz?...Loverzzz?” Ze said before ze thought to stop zirself, watching the anguish roll across the angel’s face, twitch at each accusation. On “Lover” ze had not expected such a tormented turn of his features, screwing up his face, and the Prince of Hell drew a breath. Crushed. If Gabriel could caste out his own Lover, what chance did… 

Gutted. 

Beelzebub damaged zirself instead of just Gabriel and felt zir stomach drop. Liatris started crying in earnest. 

-You. Are a fool. Of course, Gabriel had someone…and he too would throw them away…I really am so fucking stupid. 

Zir mouth ticked up into a defeated smile, filled with that growing rage and sadness and that devastation that was so essentially the demon Beelzebub, and it scared the Archangel Gabriel. More than from the turn of the argument but felt he knew that smile and it made his heart clench. 

“Zzzooo, the great Archangel Gabriel cazte out hizz very Lover.” And Beelzebub’s face tried to pull back to zir usual blankness but it was so difficult. Gabriel had forced little changes within zir, being Topside too long made zir sensitive, Liatris...everything twisted within zir and this revelation hurt. “What am I to expect for zziz child, if you can zzzo eazzzily dizzcard your preciouzzz Love?” 

But Gabriel was NOT going to let Beelzebub attack him like this. “She was following LUCIFER and going against Heaven and God! How could I not?!” 

“Then what of Liatrizzz?!” Ze were trying to bite out the words but the well-known fear from it stung zir equally. 

“Liatris will follow the Almighty! But both you and she Fell at the will of God for YOUR transgressions; not my judgement.” 

“So foolizzhly zertain for a trivial human child when you carried out her orderzz, like a good zoldier, for one deemed far more Holy onzzze. Tozzed your ztupid Love azzide, a former angel. Zhe wazz a fool to believe you Loved her before...and yet you exzzpect me to believe you would not do zzo to-” 

“Liatris is NOT trivial!” He spread his arms wide, angry and incredulous, “And I believe in Her judgement. That does not mean I discarded or have stopped Loving those that I do!” But the voice of his very first Lover had been pulling away since he acknowledged the pain of losing them for the first time ever. Her crying diminished in volume as though to escape him. And the demon before him grit zir teeth, rage unmoving. Covering for zir emotional wounds. 

“Your LOVE? Izzzzz a fucking LIE!” Ze pushed past him to escape as far as ze could with the loudly crying infant behind the room divider that hid the tub. The storm within zir was consuming and harsh. Anger at Gabriel, rage and jealousy and pity over this mysterious Lover of his, at HER all over again, and at zirself for thinking...anything of their situation... 

“You don’t get to say that, Bee!” 

He tried to follow but ze snarled. “Go away!” 

“Bee-” 

“Leave uzzz be! Go! I don’t want to look at you.” Zir breathing was getting too shallow. Ze felt zir emotions were like being tossed about in stormy waves, and ze wished ze had kept up every barrier and had never laid eyes of the fool. 

“You don’t get to order me! You need me.” 

“Liatrizzz needzzz you! They need to uzzze me.” Ze were so furious and hurt and the terror over zir mistake of trusting him was building each second ze went over in zir head how fucked they were. And ze were angry at losing control and couldn’t even remember how to pull back. “Juzzzt fucking LEAVE! Once thizz zpell izz lifted and we find humanzz equiped to care for Liatriz-......” 

That did it. Thinking of giving up Liatris was the stab that was zir undoing, zir body actually curled inward as though it were physical. Ze choked out a sob and slowly sunk to the floor next to the room divider. 

-The FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME! WHY?! Why must I suffer this?! 

“…Our deal will be complete, and I will enzzure I will be gone from their exziztenze before you have need to move to action, Archangel.” 

Gabriel got to his knees on the other side of the divider, suddenly at a loss for what just happened and feeling lost. By the Prince’s words, accusations, and sacrilege. He briefly wondered if he could blame a demon for the last bit, but everything else about Love and him casting out his own Lover...and then the fear in zir words rang out a little louder. 

He stalled...Beelzebub’s continuous upset words over zir essence remaining in the child finally began to make sense. He was brought back to think of his disquieting dream. The look to Beelzebub’s face as he turned on them too...Gabriel felt sick. 

“I’m sorry...You’re right. I fought against those who are dear to me before they Fall, smote the wicked, and dealt accordingly with your kind, that’s not ever going to change, Beelzebub. I am an angel and I follow Her...But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt or that I am always happy to act as needed.” He sat down on the other side, pressing his back against the same space he knew ze leaned against, feeling the false wall shuddering with the heaving of zir tiny frame. 

“Don’t give me that, ‘zizz hurtzz me, more than it hurtzz you,’ bullzzzzhit, Mezzenger.” 

“That saying...never made sense...And I’m not going to say that it doesn’t give me a small amount of joy when I thwart those who are committing terrible deeds, Bee. It’s just those that I Love and have turned from God...It hurts, because I still Love them.” 

Ze were too quiet for a while, because ze were aggravatingly crying, trying so hard not to to the point that zir teeth were hurting as they chattered. Liatris’s little fists clawed into zir bodice as they cried up at zir, to which the demon tried to rub their little red cheek and pat their back. 

“You’re full of zhite, Archangel. Can’t zzay you Love zomeone after throwing them into the zulferouzz pitzz that burned away flezzh and tormented them with their own memoriezzz Zhe ztole away.” Ze stomped zir feet, petulantly. 

“You can’t decide for me who or when I stop Loving someone, Beelzebub.” 

-Fucking brat. Fuck me and these fucking stupid hormones. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck everything! 

They sat there in silence for so long, each stubbornly remaining as they were. Beelzebub kept trying to soothe Liatris’s crying and held them close. 

“Love izz Her greatezt Lie...” 

-And yet you Love that child. 

“Love is her greatest wonder. You’ve convinced me of that, fiend…” 

-The fuck does he mean?! 

“You may claim to Love, juzzt like She did, but you will follow Her orderzzz and be juzt azz hypocritical. Both your Love izz a fallazy. I have heard of your exzzploitz when Zhe hazz Mercilezzzly commanded you to cull the Nephlim young. The onezz deemed ‘wicked’ by Birth” They held Liatris closer, “…You keep zzaying they are made of me too, the wickedezt of beingzzz. If they are too much like me...Gabriel, if I Damned their immortal zzzoul zzzimply by ‘zaving’ them…” 

“You really think-” 

“I’m not a fool! You’ve juzzzt admitted to have done zo to all thozze you deemed mozzt worthy of your Love, whether you comprehend that or not.” Ze felt Gabriel flinch, and ze lay another kiss to the crying child’s brow, brushing back their wild hair that was as black as zir own, trying to wipe away the tears from the eyes that were of the same hue of the very angel sat on the other side of that wall. “What’zz a mortal child made of you and a demon you ‘allow,’ Archangel?” 

He ran his hands through his hair then clutched it tight. They sat in silence again for another long time with the lost child they took and Gabriel’s lost Lover being the only sound to plague the quiet. 

“I swore it to you moments before and I will do so again, Beelzebub; I will not let Liatris stray.” 

“No. It’zz different now. Z’not zzo zimple.” 

He reached under the partition to search for zir hand. “You’re cruel when you’re hurting or afraid, I’ve learned you, but I Truly believe you have given no evilness to them. I’m asking you to trust me in this moment, Bella. I will not let you down and I will not make Liatris suffer the Wrath of Heaven to descend into Hell. I will protect them as I was unable to those I failed before. I swear it to you, dearest Love.” 

-As I was unable to save either of you... 

He heard zir sniffle angrily and try to cover it with zir lips buried in the warbling child’s hair. 

“Please...forgive me?” And the demon felt in his words that he was asking for something else entirely. It was then that Gabriel found zir elbow, but Beelzebub yanked it away. Ze couldn’t figure out how to handle everything, up to AND including the new information that…Gabriel had had a Lover Before and had caste them out. 

It made that worthless feeling that steeped within zir heart solidify. 

Ze couldn’t even begin to fathom how foolish ze had behaved with him, presumptuous and willing. Holding his hand. Holding him close…kissing him...An ANGEL who easily let go, just like the rest. Where could ze possibly stand…it’s not like ze were supposed to even want to and yet the angel got zir all backwards and wrong! And zir foolishness jeopardized Liatris’s safety. 

“Bella, honey, please…I am sorry for hurting you.” 

And he kept fucking apologizing! And apologizing for HURTING ZIR! 

Ze didn’t know WHAT to say. So Beelzebub said nothing for a very long time, hiding zir quiet sobs beneath the sound of the baby’s crying. Until ze felt him shift against the false wall. 

“I have to go. Michael’s trying to reach me.” Ze heard him get up and start getting ready to depart. The demon heard him put on his jacket and grab his hat. Ze heard him pick up his satchel and throw it over his shoulder. Heard the door start to open and creak on its way to shutting. 

“Come back…go and come back. For Liatris’zz zake or for the zake of our deal…Doezzn’t matter, doezz it.” Ze felt like ze were going to be sick. 

“I’ll be back for Liatris and you, Bella. I have work to do on Heaven’s behalf for only a few hours…Don’t go anywhere and keep safe. I will be back.” 

As soon as he closed the door ze heaved and heaved until ze couldn’t stop the sobs from taking over. Angrily crying with the child in zir arms. 

********************** 

Everything on Gabriel’s return was awkward and done in almost complete silence. 

He brought dinner for the demon, who had had growing issues with eating lately, complaining about smells – something Gabriel had previously started to tease without thought how THE demon of Gluttony seemed adverse to smells and food, but he would not mention when things were so tense – and seemed to force zirself. It had been that way for a few weeks since they moved to the Kent hidings. It didn’t stop Beelzebub because it was necessary for the baby, but that night was more than the usual chore it had become. Zir clear discomfort made Gabriel’s stomach churn. 

Feeding Liatris was a whole other process. Beelzebub was as stiff as their first time and Gabriel didn’t know where to put his hands. 

Then things only got worse as Liatris kept spitting up and had one of the worst tummy aches to resist angelic healing to date and continued to be sick well into the night. It worried both that the baby was suffering something new and occult and uncertain if it was some simple human malady or normal teething related sicknesses. It left both ethereals on high alert and too stressed for anything more than pacing the room with Liatris in arm, rocking them and cleaning them. They could only manage til the baby fell into a fitful sleep and they were effectively too worn-out for anything else. 

“You...should rest. You need to.” Gabriel awkwardly suggested, getting the demon a new nightgown to change into and was surprised when ze held the baby closer, and Gabriel waited. Hands out. “I’ll take care of them. Don’t worry.” 

The slight demon stood completely still for a few minutes and a knot formed in Gabriel’s stomach before Beelzebub reluctantly handed over the baby. Ze withdrew to behind the partition, not even asking the angel to assist with zir corset lacing. Quietly, he cleaned up Liatris and lay them out in bed, not saying a word but awkwardly going through the motions to get himself ready and in to bed. 

As soon as ze came back they both eyed each other, uncertain. 

“Come on. It’s getting too cold.” He shifted to give zir more space and the demon’s guarded, red-rimmed eyes studied the bed, dubiously. 

Eventually, ze climbed in next to the two, not touching either. Ze looked like ze were becoming smaller and smaller, the demon grunted and rolled away; something ze had never done in all their time staying together. Beelzebub craved his warmth more than cared if ze were too upset to cuddle, much to Gabriel’s previous enjoyment. He worried that ze would become too cold, the weather was turning for the winter months and the room was nearly as cold as the demon at night. 

Quickly, the Messenger felt zir shift as though to get out of bed, so the angel took matters into his own hands. He quickly curled around zir chilled frame and dragged zir back, pressed every inch of his hulking mass against zir and adjusted Liatris to be in zir arms, buried his face in zir hair and press his unspoken words into zir skin with his lips and hands. Weave his words of care through gentle touches and caresses. 

Nothing too demanding of zir or expectant, but simple and open. Unaware of the damage he was inflicting. 

Sweeping back zir hair with a kiss to zir ear, ‘I am still here with you.’ 

Rubbing zir shoulder, ‘Let me keep you, for just a little while more.’ 

Taking the hand that had been rubbing a thumb over Liatris’s tiny knuckles to bring to his lips and plant a kiss on. ‘I’m sorry...’ 

That last one made zir twitch and pull away zir hand...He wasn’t sure Beelzebub understood any of his hidden words, but zir reaction screamed at him ‘stop touching me!’ 

He tried to slip his hand into zir own again and ze let out the longest defeated breath. 

-You did this to yourself when you allowed the angel to…whatever his stupid angelic tendencies make him do. You set yourself up, you stupid cunt...He has another he left...You allowed his game of pretend to fool you...And you trusted that and him and now Liatris could suffer alongside you for your stupidity... 

“I am sorry...” 

His words frustrated the demon as they rang True and ze wanted to screech at him. Because he did mean it, whatever the fuck he thought he was apologizing for. It was Beelzebub’s fault for trusting him at all, ze were the one who fucking KNEW better. Ze kept yelling at zirself the discovery shouldn’t have been a surprise, many others threw aside Lovers. Loves that had been chosen as special to them. 

For a second too long the Fallen imagined what zir own Lover could be like if they still Lived. Did they feel guilt at all? Were they like Gabriel, trying to be...nice? Or did they think of the distant memory of Beelzebub as a smear on a near immaculate record and completely forget them and feel nothing? 

Gabriel didn’t see how ze had started to silently cry. Ze weren’t letting zir lungs work but the tears disobeyed zir commands and fell from zir eyes to travel over zir nose and cheek, getting lost in Liatris’s wispy, wild hair. 

The Archangel adjusted to be above them, try to catch the Prince’s eye but ze tucked zir face further away. 

“I will protect them and never caste them aside, I swear it to you, Love. I’ll keep them safe, and leave this…potential asset be if they can aide us...I got carried away. And I will not turn on you just like that, we made a deal and I will honor it. I will continue to take care of you both until I can no longer...until Armageddon, as we promised...” 

“Why?...why even bother allow me or thizz pitiful child?” 

The very question posed hurt him to be asked, but he had learned better. 

“Poor choice of words; I didn’t ‘allow’ anything when it comes to you…I care for you both very deeply, you must know that by now.” 

-More than that and more than I think you can believe. 

“And Love is not a lie. I meant what I said.” 

Ze rolled over and stared up at him, shocking him with zir tear stained face; however, even crying the demon looked so angry. Further shocking him when ze cradled his cheek without making moves to harm him. 

“I cannot take another lie, angel…” 

-I feel like I’m going fucking mad, Gabriel. Just what did I think this was?! I know better than this. I shouldn’t fucking care if you betray me. I shouldn’t fucking trust you in the first place…you’re no different… 

And all ze could think was that Gabriel had led zir to believe ze could trust him. At least trust him for Liatris’s sake and ze let zirself be blind to a fact that was harshly True between their kind and think his benevolence was real and could extend...But what was any of that when someone was once deemed perfect in the eyes of even God, strayed, and not even his Love could keep...It just left zir feeling stupid and Liatris’s safety was in danger because of it... 

-You were always a threat… 

“...You can sense I’m not.” Sadness welled in the pit of the Messenger’s chest as he felt zir recoil. “Let me prove it to you...” 

Ze held up a hand to his chest to halt him. “You zzhouldn’t try to prove anything to a demon.” 

He looked the demon over and knew that from an angelic standpoint he didn’t, as ze and every other higher being had ever said. But everything he had been learning from keeping Beelzebub and Liatris, he knew better. Even if he approached it from an ambassadorial position, as Heaven’s go between, Gabriel knew that dealing with demons for him at least was different. Beelzebub was further different from the average demon, even moreso than any demon with status. 

“Well, you’re a demon and my wife...my Love...I feel like I really should.” He sighed, and his breath tickled zir skin “If that reasoning doesn’t work for you…” He covered the hand on his chest, “We’re something else; bondmates. I take both very seriously.” 

He watched zir whole body tremble and a look of confused disgust sweep across zir face. Beelzebub scrunched zir eyes shut. 

“Liatris?...” 

“They’re right here.” He carefully drew them closer to them both, curled himself further around the demon and child. “Safe with us, Love...I promise they’ll be safe.” 

“Don’t you dare lie to me about zizz...pleazze...” The Lord of Hell couldn’t keep zir lungs from stopping any longer and they worked against zir will. 

Gabriel pressed a kiss to one eyelid then the other, then one to zir temple, then took from zir lips. He desperately wanted to alleviate zir fears, even if he didn’t know how else to. 

He remained unaware that ze were begging zirself to stop. Stop caring about making another mistake. Stop from kissing him back, not forgetting zir foolishness and Damning zirself all over again. Struggling to take all his thoughtless kindness and warmth from him as though ze could still call it theft. Afraid to decode what he was trying to tell zir. Meanwhile, Gabriel noticed how zir kisses tasted bitter, more from the feelings coursing through zir than the salty tears that had traveled, he pulled away and caressed zir face and hair. 

“I won’t hurt you this way. Never.” His stern gaze unsettled the disbelieving demon. “Please trust me with you.” 

He was kissing zir again before he could receive an answer, afraid of it. And Beelzebub was trying to drown in that touch and heartache ze were picking up and desensitize zirself to Gabriel at the same time. 

‘Forgive me.’ 

‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘I Love you…’ 

All his secrets pressed into zir skin and lips in a way ze couldn’t understand anymore. And they kept kissing like that until Liatris woke up crying, sick, and needing them once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I make myself cry because I hurt my own feelings in this chapter? Yes. Because I feel like a cruel bitch. I don’t think I could write the same things for anyone else. Just Crowley and Aziraphale would be funny fluff and shenanigans...Eric would probably be involved somehow in a “I’m telling!” situation...I really don’t think I could write the same. And yet these two I’m like: Here, have some trauma. Oh let’s make the himbo rescue the bad guy a few times to make said bad guy be like “what are you doing?! You’re supposed to be booing me.” until a MAJOR bad thing happens and just start to grow the seeds of trust because he’s all about playing fair and that confuses a demon. THEN the next time you meet, fight the enemy of an enemy that makes you both angry and rescue a baby. Now it’s your baby. Oh and let’s make it so that you get REALLY emotionally attached to this baby and make them sick. Then, when you can actually rescue this baby for realzies, make get you both hung up on your partners ways of thinking that you don’t agree with. And THEN when one is calling the other out on their bs reveal that they loved someone else and did what you can only imagine your former lover did to you...Yeah. Thanks, Starry, we didn’t need this BS. BRING ON THE ERICS TRYING TO RUIN CROWLEY’S LOVE LIFE! 
> 
> But yeah. That happened. Beelzebub discovered Gabriel had a lover in heaven and dumped them in an extreme way. This would put a dampener on their relationship and bring back just a hint of that lack of trust Bee is often plagued with. Bring them both to reality because things often destabilize when things have to make a dramatic change. 
> 
> Bee is a mess. HORMONES I TELL YOU! HORMONES! My writing is particularly not fair to the poor demon. (Please, don’t smite me...) 
> 
> I hadn’t known if I had ever wanted Gabriel to reveal that he had anyone before but with Bee being so defensive and lashing out it made sense that ze would learn something ze would regret from zir explosion. I sat on it a few days, looked at what I originally wrote too, and made a decision. This felt awful but right(why is my answer always “it felt awful but right?” Someone send help cookies. I’m not okay.). Bee would feel adrift and very jealous and Gabriel wouldn’t sugar coat it, because he may refrain from mentioning things, but he’s not a liar. 
> 
> UGH! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, I feel like it’s a big one and I am once again nervous by my own writing. UGH! 
> 
> Music suggestions are appreciated, con-crit is ALWAYS welcomed!, and comments of things you caught or liked (or didn’t) keep me going. I promise, being told what you didn’t like does not make me curl into a ball and cry. I do the making myself crying thing all on my own. 
> 
> The world’s getting a bit cray again and I’m worried. Please stay home and stay safe, keep each other safe. Tend to your emotional needs and know which forms of self-care you need to take at the moment.


	35. Illnesses Creeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tense. Emotional. Confused. Tired beyond rational thinking and feeling like at least one of them is going crazy. These are perfect descriptors for Beelzebub and Gabriel after preparations for the ritual that could separate Liatris from Luca’s scheming derailed. 
> 
> And of course, where children are involved, addressing such issues are not easy. 
> 
> Not when they’re sick...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I wanted to focus on my gift for the secret satans exchange, I was really nervous. 
> 
> Warnings...I actually don’t think there’s any, but maybe a trauma response? Panic attack? Just a lot of avoidance and a REALLY sick baby. Great for deflection for two beings who don’t like addressing issues. Oh and a little bit of smut. 
> 
> The thing that took the longest for me was the LAST section. I debated a few different things, it morphed from what I’d intended to what it is. I like it. It keeps something secret I wanted to keep secret, gives them a little more action than what I’d intended, and gives a good springboard for something that was going to start. 
> 
> There is some fluff after last chapters hurt and angst. 
> 
> Song for this chapter, I have a few: 
> 
> First half is both The Moon Will Sing from the Crane Wives and Dawn from Snow Ghosts. 
> 
> What I think was a perfect song actually for a lot was Protection from Emma Ruth Rundle, almost freakishly right. 
> 
> End is After The Fall by Chelsea Wolfe

Beelzebub could have almost angrily cackled at zir own stupidity. Zir drastic swing of emotions were far more overwhelming than usual, Truthfully, the demon was completely aghast and perplexed that ze couldn’t do as ze usually did and bury it all deep down and ignore any and all emotions. Blank out. It wasn’t like ze could discorporate the perpetrator causing zir upset. Yet for whatever reason ze were beside zirself with all the things ze had seemingly easily fallen apart over. It wasn’t like zir. 

The Demon Prince couldn’t believe ze fucking begged anyone, nevermind the Archangel Gabriel, AS ZE CRIED! 

All over zir painfully stupid and pitiful worries and attachment to a human baby. A baby ze were going to have to TRUST another being with in the end; to acknowledge it felt like a constant gutting with a dull knife. And then there was zir rage at Gabriel’s pigheadedness and the ugly Truth that he had done just what every other remaining angel had done during the Rebellion. Chosen the Almighty over some mystery Fallen angel. That had hurt zir for reasons Beelzebub didn’t think rational…Ze kept yelling at zirself that it was only exactly what to expect of an angel, that ze were being completely stupid. 

But ze didn’t want to be rational. 

Ze wanted to knock the fucker out and leave, take the child to keep them safe… 

And yet contradictorily ze wanted to stay...because ze wanted to keep playing that pretend they had both constructed. Wanted to believe Gabriel’s pretty and fooling promises. Bury zirself in his arms. 

And it terrified zir like nothing else… 

It was foolish beyond measure... 

It risked the child… 

How could Beelzebub trust Gabriel if the person he once chose Before wasn’t worth… 

It just made things go round and round in zir head. The damn hormones ze maintained through zir corporation seemed to be doing a number on zir thoughts and sanity. It was far too complicated and gave zir a headache that paired with a flare up of soreness in different parts of zir body. 

All in all, Beelzebub was fucking exhausted! 

However, despite all that, there was no time for any of it. Ze just had to tell zirself that it was as it was always going to be...ze had no choice but to trust because Liatris needed BOTH of them, unable to feed the baby without the Archangel healing zir. And Gabriel had since seemed to be more clingy – if that were possible – so there was less room for avoidance. 

But they didn’t have much time for awkward or talking things out with Liatris further terrifying them both as the days progressed. 

They were more important to handle than gut-wrenching upset and sudden distrust of a...something or other. Ze kept telling zirself ze could rely on their binding deal made for the soul. 

And after all, Liatris was indeed sick, making both refocus on the child as it threw them into another loop of uncertainty. Just little spikes in heat and bouts of vomiting sporadically at first, like the night of their fight. 

It was just enough at first to make them think it was teething issues or a stomach bug. But then it became apparent it was not so simple when days passed, and the baby would get steadily worse. It stressed out the demon that the child wasn’t getting enough fluids as they both lost appetite and so Beelzebub cut out the chamomile tea for zir own issues completely and drank more purified water through the day; always a bit more prior to feeding the child. 

Because of the temperature spikes, they kept switching the little one between the two when their body changed drastically, cuddled up in blankets with Gabriel when too cold and placed naked in the arms of the demon when boiling, just as they would do during the seizures. 

Liatris started to reach such extreme high temps, even after being given spirea, so Beelzebub changed from one nightgown to a fresh one in the morning to remain in all day so there was little in insulation. Beelzebub ignored how chilly ze felt through the day and allowed zir skin to radiate the cold for Liatris’s sake. 

The baby’s crying came and went, vomiting through a lot of it. And it became so much worse when they’d go into those seizing fits during these things... 

Prior to a more constant string of this mysterious new issue – when Gabriel came back with fumitory, blackthorn, and some Angelica flower Beelzebub had asked to be picked at the break of Dawn from a village the Archangel once visited to whisper about the very plant into the ear of a sleeping monk to heal his village – he was quickly bombarded with panicking demon pleading for help. Zir stern features could not hide the fright in zir eyes or hurried voice as ze explained how Liatris hadn’t stopped vomiting, they had been going through a fit, and were shaking, their skin too cold and purple. 

They switched for Gabriel to heal as he handed off the gathered flowers for the baby named for flowers. Beelzebub worked quick to start a new warm bath for them and soak the root of the angel flower in, knowing that way was most potent to cleanse the soul. Once Liatris stopped getting sick and seizing they washed the weakened child, as careful as they could. 

Gabriel was the one to bathe Liatris, as the demon worriedly said zir hands would cool them too quickly. Ze weren’t able to go far or do much else but watch on with a warm cloth wrap in wait. After that Beelzebub backed away from Gabriel’s touch, pushed him and the child to curl up in blankets in bed and quietly sat on the other side of the bed, on the floor...hands wrapped tightly around zir old amulet that Dagon had sent zir. Face blank and knuckles white until ze startled, finding Gabriel had shifted over to run a hand over zir head. He pulled zir into bed and wouldn’t let zir go. 

The Archangel stopped leaving for more than getting Beelzebub’s meals after that had happened. 

This happened for days, neither ethereal slept but paced about with Liatris in their arms, or sat and rocked them, watching them carefully, til the strange sickness seemed to break; making both slowly uncoil from the stress. The child slept soundly after seeming to have regained a smidge of their bubbliness. 

At the end of the third day of them not vomiting or crying at all eventually led Gabriel to dragging Beelzebub to bed, practically crawling in on top of zir, pressing his frame against and squishing zir beneath him as ze tiredly growled. They hadn’t spoken much beyond about the ritual or needs for the baby, so by this point it was essentially a collapse. 

They were both too exhausted for more. 

“Ger’off, angel! I need to-” 

“WE need to rest, you’re ice cold and half asleep. I have to warm you up and then we NEED to SLEEP.” 

“So your plan of action is to suffocate me with your pretty stupid corporation?” Ze groused glaring at him, trying to pry him off by his shirt. 

“Believe me; this is not how I figured to use my body on you.” 

“What?!” Ze actually squeaked. 

“Bee! You don’t need to rip my shirt to take it off.” He shifted to pry zir fingers from his nightshirt, which had indeed ripped, and sighed. “Come on, it IS getting really cold, let me warm you up.” 

He scooted, burying his face in zir neck, teetering back and forth, slipping a thick leg between zir thin ones and the Prince’s face lit red before ze grunted in frustration and slammed zir head on zir pillow. 

“Gabriel…” 

-Why is he freaking built like a Greek god?! Why do this to me?! 

“Sorry.” He kissed zir angry pouty mouth and breathed the words into zir lips again and again. “I just want to...I just want to lay here for a bit. I’m so tired, Bee.” He groaned and wrapped his limbs around zir and the baby, clamping his eyes tight, clear he was going to refuse moving. “I know you must be too, don’t lie, you looked like you were going to drop…and you haven’t been feeling well either...” 

Ze glared up at him but it was half-hearted, then ze decidedly linked zir ankles against the backs of his calves and dragged up the blanket to cover Gabriel’s back and more over Liatris’s tummy, settling. Ze hated how his weight on zir actually felt good, nor that ze really were enjoying his warmth on zir achy sore skin. Ze’d grown to like it over time, and Beelzebub hated that too. Moreso after learning of Gabriel’s past. 

“Margos said to see him a month from the next new moon, whatever that means. He also asked for Liatris’s full name; why did he ask that?” 

“What did you tell him?” The demon asked quickly, eye’s becoming sharp. 

“Well...he asked and...” 

“Gabriieeelll?” 

“I told him Liatris Mia Chiara Messenger...” 

“What the-?!” 

“Been thinking about their middle names for a while. Sounded right.” He said it so pleased and matter-of-factly that it short-circuited the fly demon’s brain. 

Zir face scrunched up then ze meekly growled out a whine of, “Noooooo! Whhhyyy?” 

“Bee, what’s the matter? Do you not like it?...Did you…did you want them to have your last name, instead?” 

“What?! ’Courze not! What were you thinking?” Zir heart ached and Beelzebub was feeling too raw, ze beat zir head against the pillow, wishing it was a wall. Gabriel sunk his hands into zir curly hair at the base of zir skull and frustratingly gently stopped zir. 

“I meeeaaannn, we’ve never actually discussed if you were taking my human alias’s surname like the humans do, either. I didn’t want to assume.” 

“Are you zzeriouzzz?! UMPH! Pigeon!” 

“Hush! The baby...” he soto whispered. They both quickly looked over at the child in zir arms and watched as Liatris squirmed a bit and wiggled closer to the Deathly cold demon, a small shiver coursed through them. They both tucked blankets around the little one carefully and Gabriel brushed back hair that had grown so long since their Birth. Black curls were getting past their ears. “Okay. Explain.” 

But ze shook zir head and buried zir forehead into his chin, making it impossible to look into zir eyes. Annoyingly, the Archangel shook zir for a bit til ze smacked his ass hard enough to make his hips jolt forward. In turn, a blush hit Gabriel’s cheeks. 

“Look, I understand I messed up, but I’m not sure as to HOW. In order to fix things, I need to know; what did I do wrong?” 

“Juzzt don’t go telling anyone their name…Z’not zafe.” The demon turned away, ending up looking over the tiny worn out infant, how their long lashes rested on their pink cheeks and their little button nose wiggled in sleep. It hurt how their whole name held such a pretty sound and meaning to it… 

-They aren’t our-STOP THIS NONSENSE!!! 

“Alright. Should we be concerned about Margos knowing?” He looked them both over. The angel watched zir chest slowly rise and fall, it very nearly felt like zir skin was pulsing, brushing it off as his own tiredness. 

“No.” The tired demon sighed. “He needed a name for the amulet to strengthen it. But if otherz link Liatris to uzzz. Us. From asking around, would be dangerouz by those who know your alias.” 

“Okay...Rest, dearest.” He didn’t ask any further, relieved by the quiet allowance of zir claiming there was indeed still an “us.” Gabriel shifted about enough for zir to groan, bury his face in zir neck, and kissed zir thoroughly before settling more soundly where he was. A hand was in his hair but relaxed its grip and ran spindly fingers through his silver tresses, stealing another of his pale lavender hair bows he hadn’t removed for the night. 

-Who’s the more pitiful fool, Gabriel? Me or her? 

********************************** 

As SOON as Liatris stabilized they got back to work looking into other means to protect them during the ritual. Beelzebub was careful to request very specific tomes on protecting casters and those within a sacred circle. It was a long list that made Gabriel begrudgedly return to Aziraphale, who he was irrationally mad at. The Archangel tried not to mince out his request for the books. The poor Principality may have turned three shades paler after his boss carelessly played about with a first edition of The Good Penitent Christian, after he passed off his note. 

He filled what he could hurriedly, promising the rest soon before rushing the Archangel, pointing out he sensed evilness about and had to tend to his dear-DEMON! 

Returning, Gabriel brought back not only half the book list, but oranges and even a vial of distilled blossoms made from the fruit, and some red camellia. 

He tentatively brought them through the door, watching to see how ze would react to the fragrant smelling blooms while ze was already sniffing the air – making the angel fear he had gotten carried away, forgetting the developing issues with scents with wanting to bring zir things he knew ze’d like. 

However, he watched as ze eyed the bundle of flowers and fruit and zir face gave a pleased little uptick that ze quickly banished. 

He carefully scoot the demon to the tub while asking how Liatris faired while he was away, filled with hot water he willed to the temperature he knew ze liked and poured the tincture in. The way he successfully managed to get zir to allow zirself to relax was by handing zir a book and moving the rocking chair within view of the tub, and finally taking the baby and a blanket to sit with. As soon as they were settled, Buggy in Liatris’s little arms, Gabriel started singing softly. 

The smooth transition and combination seemed to ease Beelzebub’s anxiety and zir guard lowered to get in and keep looking over to watch them…just before sinking zirself below the surface of the water to try and drown out everything inside for just a little while… 

Later the leader of the Heavenly Host decorated the room with all the camillia flowers he brought in, save a few Beelzebub introduced to the tiny mortal in zir arms. He couldn’t help but laugh and tsk them as Liatris tried to eat it instead of smelling it. 

So, it turned into a routine of rather mundane things like that while they waited. Looking over protection spells, tending to a baby they worried could be susceptible to human sicknesses as well as the Damnable seizures, as they watched them grow. Ignoring their other problems. 

The first snow fall had curious child watching it from the skies with such wide lavender eyes, and they laughed and clapped at the sight of it, looking from demon to angel. It would warm Gabriel’s heart, despite the child’s fascination being strange to him, but made Beelzebub’s feel icy, despite being the one to send the angel out to scoop some up to bring in in a bowl with a fairly neutral face. 

He came back and they took the time to experience Liatris’s very first snow together on a blanket on the floor. 

“Silly lamb, don’t eat it.” He said as their little mouth was smacking open and shut on the small pile in Beelzebub’s hands. 

“A little won’t hurt, Gabriel, it’s only frozen water.” 

They watched as the small being pat their hands in the small basin and gurgled and squealed. Liatris shivered and toppled backwards into the angel’s arms who scooped them up before they could land and kissed their small hands and round cheeks. 

“Sooo cold, little one! Brrrr! Cold fingers!” He smiled, “Almost as cold as maaaam-mmmiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyyy wife.” 

Beelzebub’s eyes darkened but Gabriel was uncertain as to if ze caught his near slip-up. It was hard to make heads or tails when the demon kept quiet so often. He watched as ze scooped up a bit of snow, hands turning red from the cold but not melting it. Ze raised it to zir lips, puffed up zir cheeks, and blew powdery fluff all over angel and baby. 

“Beeeee! That’s cold!” 

Baby and demon laughed, and baby tried to mimic puffing their cheeks but unable to get their waggling tongue out of the way, making the Prince cutely snort in zir laughter. They wiggled about and Gabriel maintained his frown despite Liatris huffing out little excited giggles. Beelzebub, through zir own laughter, grabbed a cloth and started wiping the baby and angel down. 

Down over baby face and tummy, then broad angelic shoulders, over little cheeks and nose that looked so much like zir own, over solid and useless angel pecs, ze brushed it all away; talking to child as ze worked. He saw as zir cheeks were pink and showed off those apples he really liked and how zir little mouth smirked shy of wickedly through it. And when Heavenly blues met lavenders he watched zir smile fade. The Demon Prince’s mouth and brow twisted up and Archangel ran a thumb over zir cheek. 

“They’re very lucky to have you, Bee…We both are...I wouldn’t have thought to show them the snow.” 

But zir face twitched and the scowl affixed to zir face with a huff. 

“Bee?” 

The demon continued to busy zirself with brushing off the snow, avoiding his warm purple eyes boring into zir until ze were frowning down at the floor. “Knock it off, before I dump snow in your breeches, Archangel. Zz’not right to zzay zuch thingzz to me.” 

“Too late, already have, dear wife.” He purposefully kissed zir button nose and stared zir down. With each huff or little quirk of zir cold angry lips Gabriel was kissing another part of zir face. Zir hair. Zir chin. Zir brow. Stopping when ze growled, barely really struggling away, making Liatris growl then make a “waaaah!” sound, in turn earning the tiny bab a few kisses of their own from the angel. It ended with Gabriel drawing Beelzebub back for one more kiss, keeping zir close despite zir scowl. “I mean it though; can you imagine how the humans would have handled them when they got sick? I couldn’t do this on my own.” 

The fly demon shifted uncomfortably, frown still there, thinking of escape. “I should go look over more protection spells.” 

“Bee, I think you’ve looked over enough. Let’s just...be for a while. Rest together while we can. Okay?” 

The Messenger of God searched zir eyes and waited, Beelzebub had indeed returned to a more calculated demeanor and Gabriel did NOT like it but would wait on whatever decision ze made. 

He’d work with zir, suggest and wait for zir to mull things over. It usually ended with a solemnness of zir eyes and a huff before ze’d acquiesce to his request...or draw away. It’d hurt when ze’d retreat, but he’d respect that. 

In moments like these, however, it was soothing when Beelzebub let him pull zir back into his arms and ze’d carefully slipped thin limbs around him and the baby in his, keeping hold. The angel felt lips at his throat and how zir chest swelled as the demon breathed deep. 

“How you feeling?” 

Ze grunted and buried zir face in Gabriel’s neck, he could feel the usual cold of zir. He kissed zir ear a few times and was bonked in the face by a little baby who tried to do the same. 

“M’fine.” 

-That. Is a lie... 

Ze were slowly progressing for worse too, starting to make more faces over a smell that ze said permeated from down the hall. Gabriel had noticed it would make zir grimace. And sometimes he’d catch Beelzebub rub the heel of zir palm over zir abdomen and bite zir lip when ze thought he wasn’t looking. Ze had also had more of those extreme bouts of dizziness and nearly fell sans an epileptic fit recently. A few times ze actually looked as though ze were going to be sick, a sudden gagging noise and ze’d tense up; he worried ze were going to end up sick like the baby had been, too. 

“Okay...” He didn’t know how to ask, still not used to feeling pain bought on by anything but a weapon or knowing much about organs in the body besides muscle. “You promised me you’d tell me sometimes, so help me out here. I can try to make things not as bad for you.” 

Beelzebub burrowed closer, “Just shut up and keep holding me for now, angel.” 

****************************** 

Beelzebub had just put the baby down to sleep and lay them on the bed so ze could re-pin zir hair up, as Liatris had pawed through it earlier trying to eat it. It wasn’t often that Gabriel would be away after nightfall but when he was Beelzebub didn’t sleep until he’d come back to them, usually pacing as the little one slept in zir arms. 

The stillness of the night was interrupted. Ze were just fidgeting with a pin when the smell of angelic blood hit the air. And Beelzebub, left alone with Liatris, drew zir blade from the ether. Ze got into a defensive position near the sleeping one and eyed where ze could track the familiar scent from and waited. 

The door creaked open and the Messenger took measured steps through. As soon as the Prince saw his state ze rushed to his side, seeing the blood staining his shirt and coat. It covered him in bizarre patterns with no holes to his clothes, but the scent was unmistakably his. 

“Gabriel?!” 

A hand slipped into zir hair as he drew zir in, “Everything’s fine. We’re okay. I had been called West to assist Uriel’s platoon while on my own mission; there was a horde.” 

Zir eyes darkened and Gabriel could sense the fear, “Why didn’t you return to Heaven? Zzhould we go?” 

He shook his head and let zir drag him to the tub. “I was sent back out to keep watch, I already miracled the blood away twice.” 

The demon moved the false wall to open the room up so ze could keep an eye on Liatris, grumbling what sounded like “ridiculouzz,” and began to strip Gabriel out of his clothes. He had set his belt and blade aside just before ze were able to pry off his jacket. 

The Messengers shivered as he felt cold fingers tear at his shirt, uncompromisingly. Those thin fingers brushed over the slowly closing wound at his side, it was deeper than the one at his chest and ze saw a bite on his hand. 

“Thozze bazztardz ravaged your zzkin.” Ze growled, low and dangerous though zir fingers were surprisingly gentle over him. 

“There were many more than Uriel anticipated. It wasn’t a normal pod.” 

“Anything elzze out of the norm?” Ze asked, finding a bite at Gabriel’s neck and feeling an anger rush zir that ze had not expected. Beelzebub brushed zir fingers over the pulse point of his neck carefully then moved to untuck his shirt from his pants. 

-I’m going to fucking eviscerate them. 

“Nothing noteworthy. They were sporadic and unfocused; Uriel took their group by surprise. It didn’t seem like a coordinated group at all, just really, really big.” The feel of zir hands solidly on his bared waist made him lean closer to the smaller being. 

“Nothing? They didn’t noticzze anything off on you? No one picked up our zcent.” 

Ze stared him down in wait. Gabriel’s own went around zir and fingered the light gauzy material of zir now ruined nightgown and massaged the two plains of zir back. 

“Nothing. I promise.” 

“You’re zzertain we can zzztay?” And when he nodded at zir ze peeled off his shirt. Beelzebub carefully inspected the largest wounds and felt the heat from the edges of the deep gash and became extremely worried. Gold ichor that looked like the sun oozed a bit from the one at his waist and ze used the destroyed shirt to soak it up. “Was it the same type of myzztery blade?” 

“A few; Uriel retrieved a bunch for analysis.” He stumbled forward when fingers grazed over an open wound at the beginning of his ribcage at his side. It was maybe the deepest and the demon had wanted to see how far back it traveled, his noise and movement startled zir. 

“Are you alright, Love?” Worried eyes searched the amethysts of the angel’s, but he smiled and nodded. Zir cold frame pressed against him as ze reached, making him smell the clean flowery scent of Beelzebub’s hair and Gabriel wanted to wrap zir up in his arms. Awkward eyes shifted about before continuing on with zir exploration. 

He felt a little out of breath but wasn’t sure if it was from the wounds not healing quick enough or the fact that Beelzebub had unbuttoned and pulled down his breeches and was now on zir knees before him. He was very grateful he had remembered to wear drawers that day. “Uuuuhhh, I can handle this.” 

With a sudden snap of sharp blue eyes piercing into lavender, Beelzebub took in the flushed and nearly nude visage of zir husband and tried to still the annoying flutter in zir belly. Ze timidly got to zir feet and felt as his hands started lightly tugging at zir nightgown, clumsily pulling zir close, making the flutter worse. 

“I didn’t mean to get blood on you...” 

The demon had drawn closer against zir better judgement, hands planted on his hipbones...then felt zir limbs betrayed zir as they traced the very well-defined plains of his muscular back, feeling each dip and smooth expanse. “Z’uzzually me getting it all over you. Ziz izz not how I ever imagined spilling blood with you’d be like.” 

Gabriel chuckled tiredly, his brow meeting zirs. “We were doing good at not drawing blood for a while. Truthfully, I’d have liked to have kept that from happening again, but I’m glad it’s not yours this time.” 

-I know it’s foolish, but I really do hate seeing you hurt. 

The demon scoffed and shook zir head, “That’z a ridiculouz thought, inn’it. You’re a right nutter. We both are.” 

Gabriel couldn’t help but crack one of those quiet smiles that was the very essence of warmth and openness, despite how small it was. One not seen by anyone but Beelzebub. It made zir feel warm from the inside out and without thinking ze touched those lips, wetting zir own. 

He kissed the tips of zir fingers making zir swallow. 

Gabriel took a chance and slowly pulled zir flush to him, his large hands spanning the small of zir back and at the base of zir neck. He massaged the nape of zir neck and dug his other hand gently into the muscle of zir back, feeling it tense. A small gasp left zir lips as the Archangel carefully kissed zir, setting off more sparks of want within Beelzebub. When zir arms shakily slid up his to run fingers over the lines of his neck, carefully over the reknitting wounds, Heaven’s leader shivered as he shouldn’t have under the fingers of the enemy. A hand drifted lower to press zir thighs fully against him, making Beelzebub feel his hardening length, and Gabriel could not stop himself from grinding against zir and the demon whimpered. 

-You’re making a fool of yourself, Beelzebub. 

Ze nipped his lip, just hard enough that ze THOUGHT he would back off, instead Gabriel moaned low and throaty and the angel’s fingers dug into zir. It made the Lord of Hell feel all tingly and run zir tongue over his lips, tug him closer by his too perfect hair, and feel his member pulse between them. 

-Fucking Heavens! What am I doing?! Please, angel, don’t do this to me… 

The way Gabriel slipped his large hands over zir ass and skimmed further down to caress zir thighs so carefully – like begging a question of zir – made Beelzebub croon into his mouth. 

When he pulled away and looked down in zir eyes, Beelzebub felt that dreaded mess of flutter of zir useless heart and inadequacy riddle zir. Zir plaguing stupidity and folly. Purple searched blues and gentle hands slid up, traveling over the tops of zir thighs and fluttered over zir hip bones, wrinkling Beelzebub’s nightgown beneath the pads of thick fingertips. 

“Gabriel...” 

The dense angel stopped, steady hands bunching the fabric between his fingers. 

“We’re okay…” The Messenger stepped further into zir space and kissed zir nose. “Tell me what you need of me, Bella…” 

“You would follow the whims of the wicked, Archangel?” The demon chided darkly. 

Gabriel leaned in close and kissed zir again, “This isn’t wicked…” 

“But I am...” 

“I’m aware.” He was leaning back in anyway, dragging zir nightgown up higher, pressing his girthy fingers firm against zir along their path. 

“Fool.” But the demon didn’t know if ze meant Gabriel or zirself, not as ze started moving his hands to pull zir gown further up. “Touch me, Love…” 

“Show me where.” 

Zir breath caught in zir throat as Gabriel skimmed his fingers to the juncture of zir legs, Beelzebub’s hand at his wrist. 

The angel was careful to trace zir folds before moving back to zir clit. Zir chin tilted up as Beelzebub began to sigh and stifle whimpers and Gabriel watched zir tremble. He teased at zir cunt over the fabric until he had Beelzebub dripping with zir arousal through it. A second hand pulled down the shoulder of zir bodice and ran the rest of the way down to caress the top of zir breast. 

Beelzebub gasped and pressed into his hands. 

“I’ll take care of you…trust me with you…” 

-This is a mistake. Why do you do this to me, Gabriel? Fuck! 

He had flicked a thumb over zir clit and nipple at just the right pressure and time and ze bucked into his large hand. The angel kept managing to send sparks through zir with each touch and ze wondered if zir corporation was malfunctioning; ze weren’t used to this. The fact that it felt so good was the most confusing thing. The Prince could not remember a single time ze had been touched like so, prior to Gabriel. When touched at all before - if ever - it had always been to harm. To torment. Beelzebub Truly couldn’t recall if it had ever been done for zir pleasure even in the earlier days of Hell, when Lucifer first claimed zir. Ze refused to think of any of that though, instead Beelzebub focused on the way Gabriel’s fingers kept teasing in tight little circles before rubbing zir slickness through that thin fabric. 

They fumbled to move zir skirts out of the way and the Messenger slotted a thick thigh between zir legs, cupped zir jaw to make zir look up at him as he sucked on his fingers. He moaned around those digits, licking them clean of zir, tasting zir, never taking his lavender gaze off zir. 

His first real taste of zir. 

For reasons Beelzebub couldn’t even begin to formulate at that moment ze felt a fire in zir belly and dizzy in the most pleasant way. Ze felt like there was a fog in zir skull and those confusing sparks were flaring. Ze couldn’t breathe but that didn’t seem like an issue in the back of zir mind. 

Especially when Gabriel brought his mouth to zirs as he ran his fingers over the lips of zir cunt. Ze’d decided to steal his air if needed. 

When he shoved a finger between zir folds Beelzebub stuttered and arched, pulling away, but Gabriel never took his hands away from zir. He watched as ze twitched as he pumped his finger in zir. When he retreated and rubbed little circles over zir clit ze rocked against him, but it wasn’t enough before the Archangel was stuffing a finger back into zir folds to finger fuck zir. The only thing the demon could do was tremble and keep hold of the hand cupping zir jaw. 

All ze could think was that for once someone’s touch had felt good, and it made zir both angry and crave it. Crave Gabriel more, of all beings. It drove the Prince to reach low, reach to touch him, and lunge for his lips. 

Beelzebub tentatively grabbed at him through his clothes, uncertainty in zir small movements as ze slipped a finger between fabric folds to graze velvety skin. Gabriel grunted against zir mouth and pushed against the demon’s hand. The linen drawers he was wearing were thin and Gabriel was so painfully hard beneath Beelzebub’s hand, but they kept bumping into each other through their clumsy fondling making it hard to stroke his full length. Ze hadn’t even seen his cock. Not once! Gabriel never stripped bare in front of zir, but he felt dauntingly big! 

The Archangel didn’t allow it for long, however, and pulled the Prince’s hand from him with a mewl to kiss that delicate wrist and palm. 

He held that limb captive, placing wet kisses and nips along it as he continued until Beelzebub felt lightheaded as zir pussy clamped around him. Toes curled and ze fell against him, completely thrown by the orgasm that hit zir. He kept pumping in zir, slowing as ze ebbed, but not enough to let the glow of it wear off. Beelzebub’s mouth made it to his speeding pulse point in his neck and bit him, making him moan, running zir tongue over the welt ze made as ze gasped and twitched and zir little growl tapered into a whimper. 

Next thing the Fallen knew was Gabriel removing his finger from zir and placing zir hands on his shoulders and picking zir up to kiss zir. Though the Demon Prince could feel the Lust rising off him, feel his turgid length pinned between them, ze didn’t feel fear. Not even when Gabriel pressed zir against the wall and pressed himself fully against zir. The angel was smiling at zir with such a pretty and soft smile and kissed zir tenderly, before slowly deepening the kiss and sighing as Beelzebub started to move against him. He moaned zir name and ground into zir rolling hips, kissing zir again and again, tongues meeting and hips picking up speed. 

The gown was essentially useless at covering, the hem hiked up and the bodice slid down, but ze couldn’t care about it. Gabriel bunched the skirts in his hand and hiked it even higher, his fingers digging indents into zir bared hip and back as he kept grinding his hips against zir. The kisses were getting more uncoordinated and desperate, the demon kept clumsily skirting zir fingers between to feel his length that ze could feel rubbing against zir. It took a while for zir to manage to slip the waistband down just enough to feel skin to skin, making zir gasp in excitement. Ze tried desperately to rut his prick into zir wet cunt. 

“Gabriel, pleazzze...” 

The angel slowed enough to cup zir bum, lower his drawers just a bit more, and rub his tip slickened with precum against zir clit, roll it against zir carefully. He started to slide it over zir slit and tease at zir. 

“Tell me to stop and we stop. Just say the word.” 

Zir hands were slipping up to cup his face, kissing him slowly. 

“Hell, you’re so beautiful, Bella. I…” He was still smiling that stupid sweet and soft smile, but his voice drifted off at the sound of a sudden scream in Beelzebub’s head and his image slammed out of focus. The room was gone and ze were in a field, feeling the warm breeze of summer caress zir skin and the sweet scent of pollen-heavy flowers in the air. The light of the sun blinded zir, obscuring the one who held zir. 

And Love… 

Overwhelming… 

That long forgotten happiness radiated from zir… 

All of it, around and in zir. 

Beelzebub felt their breath on zir face. The warmth from their firm grasp, safely familiar. The wind picked up again and long silver hair fluttered about. The sun could obscure their face but could not hide these feelings that came with the very real sensations... 

Home. 

It was filling. Enough. Emptying. And then the sun receded and revealed to the Fallen angel...the Archangel Gabriel before zir clad in the white robes of Heaven of long ago, holding zir, leaning in to kiss zir... 

And Beelzebub freaked the fuck out! 

Zir breathing hitched, ze screamed and pushed away, removed zirself from Gabriel’s grasp, two sets of eyes wide and frightened. A set of large hands were up, and the Leader of Heaven was backing away slowly. Liatris was shrieking, and for some reason, Beelzebub’s head pounded and stomach cramped up forcefully as though kicked, zir scarred body burned, and yet ze could only clutch at zir head, standing still. Eyes glued on Gabriel. 

“Bee?” He asked cautiously, “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to hurt you…You’re safe…” 

But ze didn’t answer, ze couldn’t breathe. The now-Demon Prince of Hell was staring at the Archangel Gabriel in abject terror, feeling sick and like ze lost zir mind. 

“Bee?” 

The baby wailed on in echoes and more pain rippled through zir. Ze went to Liatris, feeling the world around zir start to spin. Beelzebub stumbled the short steps and Gabriel went to catch zir, but ze toppled away, still terrified from what ze saw. 

-That’s just not possible! No! No! No! NO! 

Was the first thought ze had, but the pain was ramping up and a long-ago sob pulsed through zir skull, as though the one that burst from Beelzebub’s mouth seconds ago finally registered in slow motion. Ze got to Liatris and tried to steady zirself to take hold of them, finding zir hands morphed to claws and screamed again, falling back. Gabriel was on the other side of the bed, calling zir, holding out his hands to zir and Beelzebub was barely certain that he was begging... 

Ze were too dizzy...The world too out of focus... 

The Damned and Blessed coord ze felt connecting zir to Gabriel pulled taught and felt to strangle zir... 

“Bee, you’re safe with us...Easy...” 

-I don’t want to remember!!!! Don’t make me remember!!!! 

And just like that, Beelzebub’s mind went dark and the world went quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Bee. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this. Bee just perfect for all the angsty things. I WANTED to let zir have zir beefcake and eat him too, but it just didn’t work out. I did stop and write out another way for this to end but there was already too much going on. 
> 
> Moving on before I get beaten to death (I’m REALLY SORRY!)... 
> 
> There is a thing about witch’s having power over you, if they have your whole or true name. This has also been a belief in different cultures and practices, people only giving out fake names only til you trust the other so completely. There is also the thing that if you know a demon or angel’s name, you have power or give them power. Name just simply have a historical importance and magic to them. What Gabriel did was dangerous in the first place, in their situation, but it gave me the opportunity to reveal something I’ve been sitting on for a few chapters. 
> 
> Last minute I got hit with a rather silly idea, Gabriel is very much a words and meanings angel (I mean, he is THE Messenger) so I thought the big ol’ dope would not only give Liatris his human alias’s surname...but TWO middle names. XD 
> 
> So Liatris means “bringer of Joy/Happiness.” Chiara (their second middle name and this is so Italian my head hurts and I can’t stop laughing) means “light.” Now...Mia means “My chosen one.” 
> 
> So Liatris Mia Chiara Messenger essentially means “my chosen light that brings happiness.” It’s a very touching name and so dumb and so perfect for Gabriel to name this child I can’t even. 
> 
> I’ve been bursting to share. The fact that Gabriel’s sitting around in hiding with his little gremlin wife and their stolen child thinking up names is hilariously cute. And since he’s told NO ONE about them (also telling this MARGOS character first, like DAMAGE DONE! Bee can’t stop me if I’ve already said it!) until AFTER he’s committed the child’s name to a charm, it just makes it funnier. Bee had NO CLUE. It’s also just how I figured he’d come up with it, just on his own before Bee could stop (murder) him. 
> 
> Just a silly note about who Margos is, I absolutely stole this name from Susperia from Mother Margos. If you haven’t watched the original I suggest it, I have to watch the remake at some point. 
> 
> Bee is...going through a lot. Just so much. And then ze just keep going back to that fire to touch it. 
> 
> Speaking of touching; I initially wasn’t going to do this to everyone again, I SWEAR! But it just happened! It was supposed to be them touching themselves, or Gabe starting fingering Bee after putting the partition back into place and keeping zir back to it and him reaching around to pleasure zir. But again...this happened and then things fell into place. I’M SORRY! 
> 
> Please don’t kill me...though I feel like it would make it a holiday miracle if you didn’t. 
> 
> What does happen actually played so much better into what I’ve been very slightly hinting at and wanted to tie in. The memory attack was what I needed to happen but what was going on made the memory even better. I promise. I swear. I SWEAR the next chapter isn’t going to be what you think. 
> 
> Or is it? 
> 
> Okay, I’m going to go hide now. In fear. Of my life. From cock-blocking the Archangel Gabriel and giving NO ONE relief. (Does this count as an edging fic? DONT KILL ME XD!) 
> 
> I’m still open to con-crit, promises you don’t intend to keep, notices of things you liked, and song suggestions are all welcome! 
> 
> Happy holidays.


	36. Holding On To Forgetting Oneself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub awakens to the aftermath of their Peace disturbed, frightened and needing something to hold on to. 
> 
> Gabriel is terrified of Beelzebub’s reaction to him and their little almost amorous moment and feels lost. 
> 
> A new event forces itself on the trio, further disrupting their focus and making them feel adrift. The only thing they can do is try to take care of each other and ensure Liatris is safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings include: Memories, more sickness, vomiting, memory loss, I guess more blood, undealt with trauma. 
> 
> I think that’s it, but please let me know if I’ve missed anything that should be warned. 
> 
> This chapter was fairly easy to write but I kept getting distracted by things in LIFEtm. The last of it was proof reading it (I’m sorry it took so long King Evelyn! I had wanted to post yesterday!) and making sure it was rounded enough. I had only a few little tweaks to do but ended even more pleased with it, despite how long it is (thank you for bearing with me). 
> 
> SMALL GUEST APPEARANCE IN HERE! I think you’ll be surprised by it. 
> 
> Song suggestions: 
> 
> For the first section, but also think this fits for the last as well: The Night We Met by Lord Huron fits the last part to me. It just really hits that lost and longing feeling. 
> 
> You know I have a middle half: Dizzy by Sixpence None the Richer 
> 
> I feel this could actually fit for both the first part of this chapter and the last, but I’m going to say the last: I Mourn These Yellow Leaves from Oceans of Slumber and I CHANGED MY MIND TO INCLUDE The Winter Moon from Erutan. 
> 
> I’m just all over for songs here, too many work.

Beelzebub awoke with zir face feeling wet, zir throat scratchy, and a headache like no other; ze were kneeling on the floor, head on the bed, and human looking hands clutching the sheets with another blanket around zir freezing frame. Gabriel was just on the other side, bloody, with a terrified look to his eyes and sleeping baby in his arms, his eyes wide. 

“Gabriel?!” Ze startled, trying to get to zir feet but failed, grabbing zir throbbing head, “You’re bleeding! What happened?! Are we zzzafe?!” 

Beelzebub hobbled over to try to get to Gabriel’s side but he drew back, worrying the demon. 

“Gabriel…what’zzzzz-…what’zz wrong?” 

“...You don’t remember?” 

“Remem...ber?...” 

Trying to reach for recall through the fog, only flashes came forth...Gabriel coming back to them covered in blood. The news about the fight with escaped Damned. Gabriel promising they were safe. Trying to get him out of his clothes. Taking his hand and having him touch zir. Wrapping zir limbs around him. Kissing. Touching. Feeling him pressed against zir. Feeling zir body alight...Then the scream. 

Green fields. Blinding light. Being held...Panic? 

The baby had screamed. There was pain. Everything hurt. Ze were all wrong. Liatris was crying. Ze had felt panicked. Zir body was hurting too much to register more. 

Then darkness. 

Then a cramp in real time and sudden sickness. 

Beelzebub rushed to the never used chamberpot and threw up until ze felt the nausea subside. Ze wiped zir mouth and stormy blue eyes took in tumultuous purples, anxiety climbing. To avoid his frightened eyes Beelzebub went to the wash basin and washed out zir mouth before feeling zir stomach quiver again. Ze braced zir arms on the table and willed zir body to stop revolting on zir, taking deep breaths, grunting at the next little kick of it. 

Ze shook zir head and repeated what ze remembered with zir back turned. “It wazz a memory of Before...I’m zzertain of it, but I don’t remember anymore...” 

He didn’t understand how it could have been of Before and scare zir that badly. Heaven wasn’t like that, no matter how badly Beelzebub wanted to forget. The way ze screamed and retreated from him was paralyzing. It couldn’t have been the Rebellion, Gabriel remembered how resilient and angry ze stood before him, but...“You were looking right at me.” 

“I wazzz in zzzhock.” 

“This wasn’t like how it happened in battle before we detained the witch.” 

“I don’t know, Love! I-I only know...What I saw wazzn’t...good.” Ze were digging zir hands through zir hair, before settling zir face in zir hands, eyes clamped tight. 

“Why would you have a memory attack?” 

But ze shook zir head, “Don’t know. I heard the enchanter’zzz zzcream. And then I wazz-...I was in Heaven. Of that I am certain.” 

The Archangel shifted uncomfortably, and dread filled him. He had never wanted to see Beelzebub scream in terror in such a fashion; the way it all went down had made him sick to his stomach and Gabriel Truly feared he had hurt zir the way Luca Giordano had. He wondered if he’d forced zir, coerced zir, he had no clue what to go on. The Messenger only knew that one second they were fine and sparks were flying and the next Beelzebub was screaming. 

“Zzzhould we leave, that izz the more important quezztion. Maybe they did follow you.” 

Gabriel shook his head, “If I was, I would have had a memory too and they would have attacked by now. You’ve been asleep all night.” 

An awkwardness encased the room and the two stare at each other. 

“You didn’t?...” 

“No...” 

The demon needed something to distract zirself and so Beelzebub tried to get them to move on, if they weren’t going to be attacked. Ze needed to ensure Gabriel was alright, still sitting there coated in gold blood, looking more than alarmed. Liatris seemed only to shift in their sleep in Gabriel’s arms and whimper. A restless slumber. 

“Are you alright, Love?” He found Heavenly blue eyes looking worriedly at him, watched as zir outstretched hand started to retreat in uncertainty. “Did I hurt you?” 

Gabriel shook his head almost violently, “I was scared for you...” 

The demon could sense a half-Truth there and awkwardly shifted about; eyes cast down. “I didn’t mean to.” 

“I thought I-” 

“You did nothing wrong. Nothing.” Ze grit out almost too quietly, jaw tight from stress. The angel’s fear could not be ignored. “I don’t know why I can’t zztop myzelf from being foolizzh with you, Mezzenger.” 

“Bee, you ran screaming from me.” 

“The memory. I ran zcreaming from the memory.” Ze raised zir eyes to the Heavens and cursed the Almighty, “Not you. Not my zzztupid aczzionzz with you.” 

“You looked so-” 

“Ztop. You know I wouldn’t lie about ziz. Never ziz.” Beelzebub quietly declared. “Not ever...” Ze grunted and bit zir lip to the point it did bleed, wiping it away quick. “How’zz Liatris?” 

“They’re fine. They got scared when they heard you scream too.” 

The little one squirmed in the Archangel’s arms again, face scrunching up and whimpering again. Gabriel rocked them and pat their body gently. At some point during the night they had been wrapped up in another blanket and must not have been put down since. 

“We should probably change and need to feed them, soon.” 

Ze were trying to move forward, bones popping from being stiff, when Gabriel pinned zir with his watery lavender gaze. It made zir stall and stomach flip like ze could be sick again. 

“Go wash up, Love. I’ll take care of them, then I want to look over your woundzz…Let me take care of you too?” Beelzebub really wanted to barf again, but not from the earlier cramping, not only because ze were awkwardly concerned for an angel but because of the way Gabriel was studying zir. Like he was debating letting zir touch him at all. What if he wouldn’t let zir touch the baby either?... 

“I’ll be able to take care of myself.” 

Now ze were feeling stupid and sick. Of course, he wouldn’t want to, when ze thought about it, Gabriel always fidgeted when Beelzebub touched him as he did zir. 

“Right. Well, then...” 

“I don’t want to see you like that ever again...And every time you start touching me...it’s like I can’t tell myself to behave. You touching me isn’t permission to plow on and take more from you. We keep going round and round with that.” 

That startled Beelzebub out of zir upset. The very idea of Gabriel “plowing” briefly came to mind and the demon, still uncertain if he knew what double meanings were, wanted to slap zirself for such a thought at a time like this. The angel seemed to be as sexually charged as a bolt of lightning and seemed like he would be...rather enthusiastic...Beelzebub cringed at the unbidden image. 

-You’re as old as time, act your age, you stupid, stupid child! 

“I told you to touch me. It wazzz my own fault, Mezzenger. I-I zhould know-“ 

“Stop. No. It wasn’t your fault. You…you don’t always like being touched and I like touching you and last night thought you were receptive.” 

It wasn’t something ze could dispute, it being True ze did not like being touched; first by no one, then later in Gabriel’s case because it began to feel safe and then like something more than it should have. It helped nothing ze didn’t understand why he touched zir so softly. But even knowing better, having his past accidentally dug up by zir own claws, ze continued to want. Want when ze knew better and knew ze couldn’t really. 

“I wanted...” 

The two ethereal beings looked at the other, unnerved and afraid. The enormity of what Beelzebub was admitting to did not go unnoticed. Gabriel’s lavender eyes didn’t look ready to Hope but there was a need so powerful Beelzebub could taste it. The demon hated that ze felt the same from zirself. 

Because of all that had developed ze were scrambling back to pretend now. 

It was all ze had. 

Beelzebub held out zir hand to him, weary, trying to keep zir face blank. When he took it, they each stared at each other. Slowly, Gabriel brought zir hands to his lips. Next, Beelzebub was slipping over closer to him and the baby that wasn’t theirs. Then, Beelzebub was leaning against them, burying zir face in his neck and him in zir hair. 

“Pleazze...forgive me, Love.” 

“You did nothing wrong! Why are you-I thought I hurt you!” He choked out, tears threatening to spill. 

Looking up at him, face trying to appear not as anxious as ze felt, Beelzebub kissed his chin carefully. Ze were afraid he’d go running. “I frightened you in a way I had not meant to.” 

“Bee, you were terrified! Your fear terrified me...I thought I hurt you.” He scrutinized zir to understand but let his head lean down to rest on zirs. He couldn’t help it, he needed the comfort of touching zir and knowing it was okay, and when ze redoubled zir efforts to wrap him and Liatris up Gabriel gave in completely. A kiss to zir brow then to zir lips, which met his, and they both breathed a sigh of relief. 

They sat for a bit longer, each finding they needed to touch the other and a better ease set over the sleeping child. Soft touches, things that were undemanding. Beelzebub touching the angel’s cheek, Gabriel rubbing at the demon’s side, more kissing. All that they could get before really needing to tend to their needs, allowing Beelzebub to inspect Gabriel’s wounds, and doing what was necessary for their day, weary of what could come next. 

********************************* 

Time dragged on. Stranger things occurred. The memory attack wasn’t the last to happen to the demon. But only to Beelzebub. It wasn’t as shocking as the first time in Gabriel’s arms – still unable to recall most of what ze saw beyond a field and blinding light and fear – and the Prince would usually get a strange tumble or sharp kick to zir guts and any combination of feeling sick or becoming incredibly dizzy after. Sometimes ze’d actually became physically ill, rushing to the chamberpot to vomit, alarming Gabriel. 

The one reprieve was that Liatris didn't seem to be getting sick at all, save for the usual seizures. But no illness. That was enough for the two watching over the child.

One particular flash of memory was of the last midwife's house. Beelzebub was violently sick and rather emotional all the rest of that day. When ze weren’t throwing up, Beelzebub was checking over or clinging to Liatris and would look on the brink of tears, which ze would wipe furiously away. The Archangel didn’t ask about the memories anymore, but only if ze were alright and if there was a way to make zir not feel so sick. Ze likened it to feeling seasick, but Gabriel didn’t understand how that felt. Still surprising to the demon, the angel took care of zir, just as well as before. 

He would make sure Liatris was swaddled on his chest or near in their makeshift basket when Beelzebub would remain hunched over the pot. Gabriel would run a damp cloth on zir forehead and back of zir neck, and after curl up with both of them in his arms as they sat on the floor. That was on every extreme day, without complaint or comment. 

Beelzebub would silently be thankful, bury zirself in his warmth and pretend easily that they were just as they said. A husband dutifully taking care of his wife, in time of need. It felt warm and good, even when bombarded with memories ze wanted no part of and being as ill as ze had become. 

Some of it was recollections of the early days of Hell. The first betrayals over scraps. The first time Beelzebub understood fear After Falling. Lucifer. Memories quick as a switch, the only real issue was how they had started to feel too real to the little Lord of Hell. 

Some started to disturb zir so harshly that Beelzebub would start taking hold of the angel and baby to make certain they were there, that everything else was only a memory, as ze would run zir hands over them. 

And then there were ones of Heaven... 

Some were rather short but unsettling, never catching eye of what terrified zir before. Sometimes ze would see familiar faces smiling at zir, flashes of quiet flowery fields…In one very disturbing recall the Fallen stopped breathing as a powerful memory sunk its claws into zir. 

The Fallen Prince found zirself scribbling away on parchment, body completely relaxed, the SMELL of summer-ripened heliotrope that was not enough to distract but pleasant enough to refresh with each deep breath of air and...bugs...butterflies and bees fluttering and zipping about. With the smells and Peacefulness, came that blow that in Heaven the not yet demon did not feel a stitch of pain in their body. Complete disturbing relief. Beelzebub had a scattering of scrolls around zir and was leaning over one to cross reference notes for something involving more iridescent wings. 

Next ze knew was a weight on zir back that pushed zir forward, the culprit's arms splayed out around zir frame. The being was taller, not stronger, but met no real resistance. Sliding them both down with a chuckle and pleasant huff to see the angel made of stardust, with red salvia colored hair, spilling everywhere in zir lap! Strong jaw, strong nose, nothing would have been deemed soft or really smooth in nature about this being. But there was that spark behind their pale blue eyes that the demon Beelzebub was certain ze could recognize. 

They were no longer sharp of these features, but still glowed like bioluminescent phytoplankton in the deep cold of the ocean. 

“DXXXXX, you pillock! Look at the mezzz you’ve made.” Ze huffed tapping them with a scroll to their head, not actually the least bit upset at them. 

“I’m gone for rotations of the Almighty’s new creation and this is how you greet me?” 

“Oh, you were gone?” Ze asked, putting a parchment before zir eyes with a quirk to zir mouth, before having zir page poked into zir face. 

“You wouldn’t say that if I were some brawny, long haired, sun-kissed, starhanger. Seen him lately?” They wiggled pale eyebrows up at zir. “Heard he was working on the moon.” 

Beelzebub felt zir face catch fire as ze tackled them, hands fighting to cover their mouth in desperation. “ZZZZHUZZZZZHHH!!!” 

“I’d Love to see your reaction when you see him next. You know, that blush really pairs well with your blue eyes. Sure he thinks so too, he keeps coming back to make it.” They cackled. 

“You know not what you zzpeak of. He doezz not.” Ze defended. 

“Does too, little butterfly queen. He’s too busy with Her works to simply come back for lowly angels the likes of us, no matter our tier. Not without an order, and I’ve yet to hear one leave his lips for you.” They crooned. 

“We are all important to Her and making Her creation, Dxxxxx. Each our own important taskzz.” Ze scoffed, looking down at them half-exasperated and wishing to take focus off zir. Regardless of the ribbing, Beelzebub had zir hands in their hair, massaging their scalp. It was soothingly comforting and felt as though they had sat and done this a thousand times before. 

“Sure. But none of us make that one all bashful. And he brings none of us flowers. Practically nesting, you two are.” 

“Are not!” Beelzebub felt the blush reignite. 

Ze felt a welling of wishing bubble up in zir past self’s chest at the thought. Beelzebub had WANTED that with HIM and yet denied it as a possibility. But, oh, how ze had Hoped... 

“You should!” 

“You’re zzpeaking nonzzzzenze.” 

“ME?! You two can’t stop touching each other. All over one another, you are. And don’t tell ME of all beings that you didn’t make that bug for him.” They lazily pointed a finger at zir bright cheeks, making zir past form tense. “What do you call it again? That Uduru, Udura-“ 

“It’z called an Udara butterfly, and it’z built within zzpezzificazzzion.” The not yet Fallen Beelzebub snipped. 

“Is it now? Little over the top and fancy name? Made for him, as I said.” Earning a quick nipped out, “it wazzz meant to be that color! You're projecting.” The angel in zir lap shrugged, playing with a scroll they had unrolled. “Right. And you weren’t brought in to see the Almighty to discuss plan deviations from the usual orange or white?” 

They kept fidgeting through the paperwork, as though Dxxxxx was Beelzebub’s supervisor, not feigning innocence at all. They mumbled about some other color “not being normal for this creature, til you begged our Lord. You must have made a compelling case. Heard the Archangels were rather displeased...Well...All but one…” 

“Oooohhhh, zzzzhut it, you.” 

“Well, I don’t need to speak. I think, therefore, there he is.” They replied, cheekily, and Beelzebub felt zir past self’s corporation go into what felt like a full body blush and jittery nerves. But ze tried to appear unmoved, the demon could sense this sort of teasing was common between zir past self and this one no-longer angel. 

“You don’t bear that power, DXXXXX.” Ze retorted at the chuckling angel in zir lap, who claimed they, “don’t need such power.” 

Ze smelled honey as a long sprig of purple alyssum flowers was brushed from zir neck to shoulder, making zir shiver. Beelzebub’s mind tried to recoil back, knowing ze would see who ze most wished to avoid while the not-yet-demon startled at the feel of the sudden touch, seeing the blooms first, before... 

Finding Gabriel’s lips at zir temple, whispering to zir “you’re okay,” and, “come back to us,” making the shivers continue as the dance of the memory of those flowers left zir senses. Zir stomach was doing only pleasant little flips and thankfully nothing more. 

“I’m-” Zir mouth felt weird, and when ze went to touch it found zir hands stuck. 

The fly demon had managed to tear up zir lips and claw the palms of zir hands. Ze’d remained unmoving otherwise and Gabriel had placed the baby in the cushioned basket near them and dragged the demon into his arms. He couldn’t do anything about zir chewing zir lips to shreds, but Beelzebub’s hands he could hold to try and keep zir from doing more harm. 

Seeing ze were coherent, Gabriel gently removed zir blade-sharp claws from the meat of zir palms and held them together in his, wrapping Beelzebub up again. He annoyingly enough, kissed zir hands and then zir mouth. He kept kissing zir despite all the blood til the demon’s mouth felt oddly better. 

“Did you juzt hea-” He kissed zir again. 

“Quiet, fiend.” He went back to kissing zir until the baby started to wake up and rolled over in the basket to look at them. “Guess we should wash up and take care of sleepy, over there. How’re you feeling?” 

“Only dizzy thiz time…Did you zzsee anything?” Beelzebub asked, uncertainty marring zir otherwise stoic features, but Gabriel only sighed and rubbed zir hands in his. 

“Nothing.” 

“This doezzn’t make any senzzze.” Ze growled angrily, glaring at something a million miles away. “Half the time I’m not even touching you or Liatris. No contact with anything.” 

“I know, dearest. We’ll figure it out.” 

“Breaking the bond to that scum izzz the only thing we need to focuzz on. On top of thezze memory attackszz, we’re still having seizzurezzz. Can’t keep this going.” 

“I can’t wait to watch you break them before we destroy them.” Gabriel smiled at zir, causing Beelzebub’s head to snap back and blink a few times. Ze felt a blush rising in zir face and the demon grimaced. 

“Z’not very angelic…” 

“Oh, no. They deserve it. And as I’ve said before, I like watching you punish the wicked. Watching you in battle...that was really something to behold.” He smiled brightly. 

-This one... 

Gabriel had already healed zir hands and so they got to cleaning up. 

“You got a little...” Beelzebub pointed to Gabriel’s mouth and pulled him close for a rather aggressive kiss, licking the small bit of blood from the corner of his lips, zir hands planted on his defined shoulderblades. Under the taste of zir own blood Beelzebub picked up a hint of Gabriel’s taste, that sweet and bitterness of his mouth, and then the taste of his skin beneath that. It made zir gasp and nip him, leaving the angel to hold his breath and count to ten when they broke apart. He didn’t see the wicked quirk to zir lips, as he kept his eyes shut tight. 

That was another bizarre affect ze had been having. Beelzebub was feeling rather…voracious. Like ze could throw Gabriel on the bed or against the wall and ravish him. At any minute…when not feeling ill, that is. 

Ignoring the really disturbing burst of desire that spurred Beelzebub to kiss Gabriel – and so thoroughly to boot – ze picked up Liatris and started nibbling at their cheek. “And YOU, Liatris Mia! You...need a change. Pphheewww! You stink!” 

The demon laid the little one down on the table to tend to them, repeating the same gibberish noise that made the baby laugh. 

“They do?” Gabriel reluctantly sniffed the air, then appeared confused. “I actually don’t smell anything.” 

The demon looked down at the wiggling hellion, equally confused for there was no mess at all. 

“Zztrange...Maybe they’re juzt gassy.” But they took off all the baby’s clothes and set them to be washed, they smelled to zir and hadn’t been bathed that day. “Let’s wash you down anyway.” 

“Your sense of smell...” He made a face, waving his hand about. 

“It doezz zeem off, doesn’t it? I don’t know, Love.” The demon shrugged, “Maybe exhaustion izz making it act up. Or hormonezzz. Ugh.” 

The angel was carding a hand through zir curls and gave zir another look over. “Maybe...” 

“You’re going to-” 

“Tell you to rest. Yes.” He smiled, giving no room for argument and massaging the nape of zir neck as he took hold of the infant reaching for a hand to gnaw on. “I’ll take them.” 

“Nah. I’ll scrub down then take a soak too, if I MUZZT rest, I’ll do it my way. I’m still all bloody.” Ze replied after zir nose wiggled again, then looked at the baby ze bounced in zir arms, smile soft. “We should take a tub, little one, yeah?” 

“Ppllleeewwuululuu!” Liatris sneezed loudly, bonking their head into zir chest and getting snot into Beelzebub’s nightgown, derailing all trains of thoughts. The demon groaned quietly and looked pointedly at the cute, smiling, little hellion, that really could be as gross as actual Hellions. 

“Here, let me help.” Gabriel was quick to start wipe them clean with a handkerchief and was swatted away when he pressed against zir bust. “Sorry. Should have thought that through.” 

“Z’alight…juzt…zore.” Ze grimaced, rubbing zirself. “Take them for a second, Love?” 

The demon handed the baby over in order to strip zirself bare, wiping up baby snot from child’s face then zirself, and tossed zir nightgown into the small pile for cleaning. As soon as ze were done, ze grimaced and massaged zir swollen breasts again. It was clear they were bothering zir. In the back of the angel’s head he was thinking over not only how beautiful he still found zir, but how the forced changes seemed to make zir uncomfortable. Zir breasts weren’t that much bigger since Beelzebub was first forced to start breastfeeding the baby, but it seemed to cause zir distress and more recently some pain. Looking over zir form, he realized zir nipples had also turned a bit darker over their stay in Kent and wondered how much more change ze were required to push zirself through. 

Unable to come up with a question that wouldn’t seem inappropriate, all Gabriel could do was blush. He watched Beelzebub saunter with that little natural sway zir hips had when ze weren’t stomping, over to their bags to pick out new clothes to lay out as he started to will the tub filled with warm water. 

-Not an intentional temptation. Don’t even think about it! 

He watched zir slim form bend over, unintentionally exposing zirself completely to him, and Gabriel stifled a groan. 

-Damnit! 

************************ 

It started off with the sound of a warm voice. His lost Love, singing a little louder, a little sad, but finally singing again. It had felt like too long. The night air felt colder than usual, he wanted to curl up more but when he tried all Gabriel found was the baby in his arms. The Archangel startled only to find Beelzebub at the window, cast in the pale moonlight. 

“Hey…” 

“Hello…” 

“You okay?” 

The demon looked strange to him, dimly glowing, but when ze turned a little, Beelzebub looked kind of sad and slightly confused. Zir slight arms were wrapped around zirself as though to hold zir form together. “Mmmm…I couldn’t zzleep, Love, zz’all.” 

Gabriel got out of bed, carefully laying out Liatris and tucking them in with Buggy, then went to zir side. The instance he touched zir Beelzebub melted into his arms with such ease. Zir cold frame shivered and ze tucked against him, as though that spot was meant only for zir. 

“I can’t recognize thizz place. Everything’zz ztrange.” Ze whispered. 

“Are you okay?” 

“It all changezz too fazt, I can’t recognize it, Gabriel. I can’t recognize you.” 

He was already startled and now he was pulling away to inspect zir, more worried. But the brightness of zir Heavenly blue eyes secured his thoughts that it was Beelzebub in his arms, the way ze tilted zir chin to him, the way zir lips pouted a bit, the way zir brow furrowed. But something WAS inexplicably different. 

“You’re gone but I feel like I’m the one mizzzing.” 

“Hey, I’m right here. We’re okay.” 

“Her world changezz too quick.” 

He had no idea what was going through zir head, but Gabriel definitely wanted to placate zir. All he could do was hold zir close and run his hands through zir hair. 

“It’s meant to. She made it so and we try our best to guide Her creation, from both sides.” 

“I feel ztrange. Unjointed…” Ze shook zir head, “I’m all wrong.” 

“You’re…” For a minute he felt at a loss for words, afraid of how to address Beelzebub’s concerns, but a look in zir eyes and Gabriel knew he could only do so much in this instance. One phrase sadly came to the forefront. “You’re as you should be.” 

The look ze gave him was strange. Sad. Confused. Lost…and ze slid zir arms up his back and sighed. “Why do I feel all wrong, then?...Something’zzz not right.” Ze wondered aloud, pressing zir ear to the Archangel’s chest. Ze kept mumbling things under zir breath and Gabriel kept stroking zir back until he felt zir tremble. 

“Come on, let’s get back in bed.” 

As Gabriel pulled zir along, he noticed how Beelzebub startled at the sight of the bed, making Gabriel look down at zir again. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“The baby-“ 

“Liatris is okay, see?” 

“Our baby?…Liatris?...Flower...They don’t feel right. Like they aren’t suppozzed to happen. I’m not suppozzzzed to have...” Ze clutched at zir head, shaking. 

Fear shot up Gabriel’s spine and he took hold of the Fallen’s face to make zir look at him. 

“If She didn’t want you to, She would have taken them.” 

“Did She?...Did She...take...” Confused fear sparked in crystal blue eyes that seemed to shimmer under steadily growing pools in the lowlight of the night. Something was really wrong. Beelzebub’s gaze drifted off as ze whispered distantly, “not suppozzed to be…” 

He kissed the tears from zir eyes before they could fall and continued to do so even as ze mumbled on. Gabriel felt zir quake and almost too quietly whimper, “zzizzz izzz all wrong. I don’t remember...” 

“In bed. Come on, my Love. Bed.” He nearly dragged zir but ze came willingly, curling up around the child, and Gabriel settled holding them both, pulling zir as close as he could. He kissed zir hair, zir wet cheeks, zir nose, and when he silenced zir strange mumblings with his lips he felt zir shudder again. “I’ve got you.” 

“Are they really our-“ 

“Ours. Yes. Our little one, Liatris. She’s let us have them.” 

“…They have your eyez…like I imagined zzo.” 

“And your wild hair...Your cheeks…Your nose.” 

“Your zzzmile…” 

Ze touched his mouth and Beelzebub smiled the most heartbroken smile at him. This was the strangest, most alarming development yet, but with each uncertain look he brought a warming kiss to placate, to either Beelzebub’s brow, the baby’s, of his wife’s lips. 

“They were always yourzz you know…You believe me, don’t you, Love?...” 

“...Yes...” 

Zir body shuddered and a tear rolled over the bridge of zir nose. For some reason Gabriel felt relief mingled with heartache from zir. 

“Why doezzz it feel azz though I’m mizzzzing, Gabriel?” Ze whispered so softly, Heavenly blue eyes wide and searching. 

For a time, Beelzebub just traced his features, with hands and eyes. Ze trailed over his rugged jaw, his straight nose, soft lips that kissed zir cold fingers and took hold to try and breathe warmth into them. 

“My Love, you’re right here with me. With us.” He husked out; tone gentle but leaving no room for argument. 

Kisses grew again between the two ethereals but they weren’t like the ones of secret nights prior. These were soft and timid and filled with need to ensure what Gabriel said was True. Beelzebub’s brow kept scrunching up and ze kept whispering things that didn’t quite make sense. Like how, “I mizzzzed you.” and how things felt “like a misformed dream.” 

“It’s not...” He didn’t know why saying these things hurt so much, he choked on words, feeling just as heartbroken with each soft utterance of “I missed you too.” 

And that declaration felt weird, because it felt True. Gabriel missed zir. 

When ze started to drift off, the voice of his forgotten Lover slowly starting to recede back into crying again, Gabriel tucked the blankets around zir and their baby as best he could, wanting to take care of zir in zir half-aware state. He kissed zir until Beelzebub huffed and smiled and said ze missed him one more time. He felt warm as his wife curled up closer. 

“Sleep, Love. I’ll be right here, when you wake up.” 

“My Love...” Ze practically cooed, no longer looking or sounding quite as sad, nor looking content or much zirself. “Promizze?...promise to keep me alwayzz, my Love?” 

“I do. Right here.” Gabriel brought zir smaller hand to his chest to let zir feel it beat, then kissed zir again as though it could keep zir just a little longer, but he stopped to let zir get more comfortable and drift off. 

In the moonlit room, Gabriel watched over the sleeping demon, listening to zir soft buzzing snore wishing he could find contentment and only finding sadness and concern. 

The very first coherent thought Gabriel had through his upset and confusion, was a determination to do the ritual soon…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeaaaaahhhhhhh..... 
> 
> I have to say that the opening of the chapter was planned, Beelzebub is NOT supposed to remember Gabriel, but everyone has guessed that there was a huge thing between the two Before. The memory attacks that started in chapter 35 WAS going to happen, I will say it’s not trauma induced but zir sudden memory loss of it is. Mentally ze are not capable of handling it and their relationship IS difficult and complicated in the present. Beelzebub’s brain is trying to defend itself, because there is a lot of baggage that ze are not even close to ready to work through. Especially when the two are kind of stuck with a strange baby that they really don’t want to give up. There are so many issues if Beelzebub remembers what happened between them, though I’ve sprinkled a ton through this story (back in the battle and the midwives houses)(so beginning chapters omg)(seriously what has this story turned into?!?!?!? This wasn’t supposed to exist!) what you’ve read is not all there is. 
> 
> To organize, Gabe’s memories got a few very important memories in the battle scenes, whereas Bee’s are all in the ritual houses. I had to read back to check. 
> 
> So now we have new memories. And I shared ONE. I kept going back and forth, trying to decide if it was a necessary one. This is another reason I went back and read through the memories and why it took so long. I didn’t want the memory to be pointless, but I didn’t want it to be so super significant that it was revealing too too much as to what happened to/between Gabriel and Beelzebub. I wanted to show the fluffier things in Heaven. Things ze didn’t know ze missed or were happy with. How Bee was before, zir connections to other people, and how zir life was greatly different. SO it took me a while because of THAT. 
> 
> Had to come back to comment: if you’ve ever taken care of children/toddlers/babies...you know they can be as disgusting as hellions. I really did enjoy having Liatris sneeze though. I found it stupidly cute.
> 
> The butterfly I have Dxxxxx referring to is the Udara butterfly. They exist and are extremely pretty. They can be either blue, white, or…lavender. https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:152-Udara_dilecta.JPG 
> 
> Who do you think this Dxxxxx is? I would give you a cookie if you guessed right, if it weren’t for covid and I don’t actually know who any of you dears are XD 
> 
> Then we’re getting to the weirder parts. What’s up with that last half? Huh? What’s going on? Bee’s loosing zir mind. Loosing zir mind, food/smell aversions, getting sick and still dealing with zir own magically induced seizures, panic attacks, memory attacks, MOOD SWINGS! Let’s not forget horny. Can’t forget horny. Bee may just explode at this point...I know if I go to hell, I’m going to be in so much trouble XD 
> 
> Also, Gabriel needs help. Surprised the dear doesn’t have a nosebleed from how comfortable Bee’s been getting around him.
> 
> There needs to be a gif that I can use that shows me freaking out trying not to tell my own secrets. There is a whole thing behind this madness though, I SWEAR! 
> 
> SO...TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!! I WANT(NEED) TO KNOW!!! 
> 
> Song suggestions are always appreciate, I have fun thinking of ones I think would suit but LOVE hearing what you feel works. 
> 
> Con-crit is always important to me and welcome. (let me know if I did something weird that makes things not flow well.) 
> 
> Things you...notice...I am always here for that and conspiracy boards, Hell’s know I have to have an intense one trying to make sure I keep this story running smoothly. 
> 
> But also, just things you liked. I like hearing that. Or things you didn’t (Waiting for Luci to destroy these two’s...uuuhhhh sort of peace?...Right. We can’t have nice things here. Sorry.) I like hearing about that too. 
> 
> Hope you are all doing well and that you at least enjoyed this torture... 
> 
> Stay safe!


	37. How To Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leading up to that dreaded end of month for a demon and angel who’re looking after a baby. They have been exhausting themselves as much as becoming exhausted over their little trail. Gabriel from trying to keep them safe and covered, keeping Heaven and Hell off their actions, Beelzebub as ze are plagued by zir past and seizures brought on by the machinations of a spellcaster, whom the two only have an inkling of what she’s after. It doesn’t matter to them, as Liatris is what became who mattered. 
> 
> And so the trio wait for that last bit of protection for their accidental child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings include: blood, sickness and vomiting, some fragments of Bee’s final fight in the Rebellion are mentioned, so pre-fall injuries. 
> 
> I don’t think there is much but you know that if I forgot something if you tell me I will gladly go back and add to this list. 
> 
> I want the story to be the surprise not the things that can cause you mental pain. 
> 
> This chapter may be a bit longer? I packed it. I’m sorry! I hope it’s not too much but I do like how it turned out. 
> 
> Song recs: Digital Daggers Razor’s Edge is PERFECT for this first part. 
> 
> There’s also shameless KISSING in here: How To Rest from The Crane Wives is perfect for this section... 
> 
> Breathe from Fleurie for the second memory (yes, I have two in here)

Rolls of scattered parchment lay haphazard around zir and ze were trying to brush away the maudlin feeling ze had deep in zir heart. Not-yet-Beelzebub felt WRONG. Not just zir current incarnation but zir past, and the recognition was indeed disturbing to both angel and demon. Ze didn’t quite hurt, but there was an ache in certain parts of zir body, zir abdomen, stomach, and back. Fading but there and still strong enough to make the angel choke up. Then that familiar hollowness in zir heart. Zir body and self as a whole was starting to ache in resonance to something familiar to the now demon. 

However, zir past self tried to bury it all away and ignore it. Looking to the scrolls around zir, ze felt that they would bring solace. 

Ze inspected the first one ze could reach. No matter how ze read it it was for a butterfly. Ze couldn’t look at it, as the idea of another ze had made came fluttering about and upset zir to sniffle. The angel who’d become Beelzebub set it aside. The next, being strange for zir department was of a white flower, dainty and small, specified to be called columbine – seeing zir Lover’s made poesy ring on zir finger, feeling a drop of zir stomach, made zir feel so very solitary and forlorn – making zir bite zir lip and lock it, dismissing that schematic too. Down and around ze went, til there was something that didn’t remind zir of anything or anyone. Something calling for all black, with thin spindly legs and wings. Beelzebub felt zirself decide that was different enough and wished not to waste any more time. 

The not yet demon sat back and tried to ignore zir discomfort, cleared zir mind completely with a deep soothing breath, and let the thoughts formulate a creature. 

To zir present incarnation it felt...strange but like second nature. Ze could feel it start to form in zir hands just as quickly as ze could see the idea grow in zir mind’s eye. But the blue sparks that came from zir hands felt wrong to zir past self, the color seemed wrong, but that was dismissed and ze pushed forth. A body started to form little fuzzy hairs on it, but then something felt...unignorable. The distraction was enough to break zir concentration, and the unfinished creature started to break apart, fragment in suspension. The blue of zir light started to spark and fluctuate, startling the former angel and the demon ze had become. 

It dropped unfinished from zir will’s suspension, into zir lap, cracking open. 

Distress started to bubble, and the Prince felt something tug at the back of zir angelic form’s mind that told zir ‘this is your fault...you’re all wrong...’ And the demon felt gutted, whereas zir former self jolted and declared ze were being ridiculous. That this was a mishap. That ze were still...unwell somehow... 

So, the petite angel tried again. Ze cleared zir mind and wiped the destroyed remnants away with a flick of zir will, not seeing how zir will faltered and the small failure fell into the dirt instead of nothingness and started over. Breathing in then out in a pointless attempt, the former angel did so til zir head was clear and focused on the way the wind rustled the leaves and the smell of flowers hit zir nose. Then ze tried again. 

And again. 

And again. 

Each attempt yielded similar disturbing results that no angel should make. Eventually, ze were unable to do more than glow sparks that sputtered and Died. Ze couldn’t get zirself to function and the first huffs of tears threatened zir corporation. 

Beelzebub’s past self felt panicked and uncertain. 

Ze looked at zir hands, knowing then they were once able to cast and mold the very essence of Heaven into Her very whim and cursed them. It may have been the very first curse and it left the soon to be demon feeling strange. 

Heartbroken and cut off. 

“Whatever is the matter, little butterfly?” 

Startling, Beelzebub spun around to take in the vision that was the Morningstar, ever so beautiful and looking at zir with...concern. For some reason, zir past self seemed not only weary of His presence, but strangely tired of Him too. 

“Been hearing strange things.” 

“I bet you’avve.” 

Ze were shocked at zir past self’s blatant disrespect for someone so powerful, to Lucifer of all angels and demons. 

“You know how the others are. They talk.” Lucifer got down by zir side and for some reason Beelzebub looked off ahead of zir, barely acknowledging Him. “But I know...” 

Ze startled once more and Beelzebub eyed him, saw His beautiful golden-brown eyes cast down on the mess of unfinished anthropoids littering zir robes and the grounds of Heaven. He looked sad, and when He returned His gaze to zir ze saw pity and some form of...understanding. It left Beelzebub feeling desolate in both zir angelic form and zir completed demonic self. A hand. He held it out to zir and zir two minds looked down at it in unnerved. Nervous and afraid. 

As though even past Beelzebub knew that something was not right with this seemingly innocent offer. 

“I know, ~~~~...It’s okay...You’re feeling lost after losing so much, is all...” He looked so serious, but not as though He were about to condemn or harm zir. “But I know and I’m here...” 

Ze felt tears start to slip from zir eyes and down zir cheeks and the demon felt zir former self’s conflict to remain away from Him and yearning for someone to help zir make sense of such sadness in zir heart and maybe understand. Tempted to turn to Him despite zir apprehension. But as ze saw another pair of angels walk past and eye zir as though reflecting what ze felt inside, heard one of them say, “shouldn’t get too close to that one. Heard she’s...” a familiar pang pierced zir chest as though these arrows had been slung often enough. Ze became more...willing, despite zir disquieting distrust of Lucifer, of everyone really, but He had held out a hand to zir. Yet that niggling uncertainty of being unable to figure Him out was too strong and the not-yet undone angel didn’t like that ze couldn’t. 

And those were not words ze wanted to hear from Him. The one ze wished to hear these words from, to have hold zir again....it hurt too much to think of where he was. 

Beelzebub felt zir frame shake and ze gasped. Ze needed to get away from everyone and everything! The angel that became Beelzebub wanted to be alone! Ze didn’t even will zir work to be cleaned up, feeling like ze couldn’t do it, and ze got to shaky feet, letting Lucifer touch zir with His warm hands that felt to steal zir warmth even then. It was then that His hands enveloped zirs and gently drew them to Him. Lucifer inspected the poesy ring on zir left finger and His gold eyes flicked up to meet the shorter angel’s. It unnerved zir. 

“Forgive me, I zzzhould vizzzit Raphael or Radueriel. I believe my corporazzzion izzz malfunczzioning.” Ze said as ze snatched zir hands away. 

Ze wanted to be alone. 

“We will wait for you, ~~~~…when you’re ready.” 

When Beelzebub came to, ze were in tears, angry and upset. Ze had first woken prior to the shriek of the enchanter because ze had heard Liatris whimper in their sleep and Beelzebub went to check and settle the infant, so it had been quick. Now ze were reorienting zirself a third time, clearing through a dizzy fog and aggressively wiping zir eyes, spying a gold poesey ring given to zir by an Archangel on a hand that gently held a tiny baby fist. Another flutter in zir stomach and the demon was curling up in a ball till the nausea subsided. 

But then Liatris started to cry and both ethereals were up, Gabriel saying, “I’ve got this, honeybee. Rest, then you can have them back.” With a tired smile. 

Ze watched the Messenger go through the motions, talking to the little one and calming them. When he spied Beelzebub looking at them over his shoulder, he smiled for zir. 

“It’s still really early. I think we can get them back to sleep.” 

The being curled in the bed watched him rock about the room, rubbing Liatris’s back and kissing their forehead; it was soothing to see…until ze felt a roll of nausea, a kick, and panic lancing zir angelic self’s heart as ze hunched forward in pain, seeing gold blood at zir feet and grass of the garden floors of Heaven, before zir eyes in a memory. 

Like those dreams...but it wasn’t the dream at all... 

Ze were at the chamberpot in seconds and Gabriel was holding both baby and Beelzebub’s hair back until it ebbed and ze felt so exhausted. One more disturbing flash of blood; ze were stumbling forward clutching zir gasping past self’s abdomen in confused fear. Ze felt where the blood was seeping from and pulled a bloodied, shaky hand away to see too much gold ichor – seeing that Damned poesy ring of flowers still affixed to zir ring finger – and ze were emptying zir stomach again in zir present, sputtering and upset til it was over. 

When done, ze were quick to deal with cleaning up, despite Gabriel insisting he do it, and then washed out zir mouth and crawled back in bed waiting for the Archangel to finish putting the baby down. Beelzebub wanted an apple or grapes or apricots or Damned figs, anything fruity and sweet while ze waited but ignored the urge, they didn’t have any anyway and thoughts of it only served to make zir further upset. The immediate want only seemed to supersede zir terrifyingly confusing memory flashes ze had just re-lived, helping pushing them out of zir head. Blanking zir out when ze heard Liatris yawn really loudly as they were prone to do. The angel wasn’t much longer though, Liatris finally conked out, and Gabriel was crawling in after the Prince. 

“Come here, buzz.” Gabriel held out his arms and waited for zir to curl up as ze wished, kissing zir brow when ze practically burrowed into his warm body. “You okay?” 

Ze only squirmed to get closer, draping a hand over Liatris and pressing zir lips to Gabriel’s pulsepoint to breathe deep. 

“I’m right here with you, okay? Right here.” 

After a very long pause, making Gabriel think ze had already drifted off to sleep, Beelzebub broke the silence with a shaky voice. “Juzzt keep hold of me, Love...for the time we have.” 

“I’ve got you.” 

For a moment, the overpowering feeling that had seeped into zir bones of loneliness and despair dissipated into an accepting melancholy. Beelzebub knew ze could trust Gabriel with that much. Gabriel was safe for zir, for now… 

**************************** 

Over the course of the month, they still dealt with more strange visions that the Prince didn’t want to remember, zir corporation rolling in flutters and kicks with each, and a weirded out Messenger angel and metaphysically sick baby. The only respite was they did rely on the other, growing their weird repore further. 

And then some... 

Beelzebub’s need to touch and...feel Gabriel’s hands on zir form began to accelerate. When ze would feel alright enough and there was nothing to really distract zir – aside from going over plans, the cuddly baby, or Gabriel and his very fine corporation, maybe bending over a table or extending to reach something Beelzebub ‘could not’ reach – ze felt that voraciousness grow in zir belly, and those little sparks ze had felt from contact with him doubled with zir invading his personal space. 

It was getting difficult at times not to touch him too, trace zir hands over his figure in ways that he already did to zir. But the Prince’s hands would wander, both to Gabriel concern for the Prince and his own pleasure. There were only a few instances that these sort of touches led both to awkwardly backing off, but usually comfortable enough to ease and relax in the others arms. Nothing that would progress as far as it had since that night Beelzebub started having memory attacks. 

One morning, before the baby woke, Beelzebub laying on zir back finding it better to be under the pile of warm beings in zir arms and that position didn’t lead to zir being as sick as often, the two ethereals shared kisses. It felt so simple. It was completely unlike what Beelzebub would have assumed of anyone to kiss zir, but ze took it greedily, allowing Gabriel to press sweet kisses against zir mouth and jaw and neck. Returning to zir mouth and then letting his hands start to wander the paths he kissed. 

Beelzebub wrapped a thin leg around his shapely thighs, leading his to tangle with zirs. The arm not holding the still sleeping infant was tracing fingertips from the Archangel’s ass, tentatively exploring the perfect shape of him, over the small of his back, then up to his hair, twisting zir fingers in it. 

A firm hand on zir waist traveled up, tracing zir figure delicately, brushing around zir bosom to cup zir jaw and swipe over zir apple-y cheeks. Then slowly back down to trace zir pulsepoint and down over zir breastbone, laying his massive hand flat there, feeling how quick zir heart was pounding. The kisses continued in their sweetness with that underlying charge of what felt like lightening made it so that Beelzebub needed to breathe deep every so often, and then Gabriel’s hand traveled again. 

Down over a swollen breast, and zir blush deepened. 

“Is this okay?” 

Ze nodded quickly as ze felt him gently tease at zir, making zir nipple harden beneath his fingers. It did feel good. And ze pulled him back to kiss him as zir passions grew, his thumb rubbing over zir nub as he carefully cupped zir breast. Beelzebub slipped zir tongue in his mouth and a hand was in zir hair, tilting zir head back to deepen the kiss and catch zir breath. Feeling his nose bump zirs made the demon feel warmth spread through zir chest, making zir hyperaware of the way he carefully caressed zir there, splaying out his long fingers to trace the shape of zir. 

Then they heard an “aaaammmmppphhh.” And Beelzebub felt a tiny mouth latch to zir breast but mostly one of the fingers holding zir there. 

Ze cried out, shocked at the growling child, “Liatris Mia!…Heavenzzz…when do you think they woke up?” 

“Don’t know...Well...this is awkward.” 

A new blush broke on the demon’s cheeks and ze covered zir face, shamefully embarrassed. 

“Look little one, I know you’re a food driven human dependent on this particular being’s body right now, and this is how you get your nutrients and all, but I swear this is no reason to get defensive and territorial. I’m making no moves against you so cut the demonic behavior.” 

“Hey!” Beelzebub squeaked indignantly, almost laughing, “they most certainly-.” 

“Bit me. Like a certain demonic wife I know and-oh no! Bee! That’s just cruel…You fiend!” 

Ze actually giggled, as ze had sucked at the new welt ze had made on his neck, licking it as the Messenger hissed. Drawing back with a twisted pout he ‘glared’ down at his wife who only smirked wickedly back. Liatris had started shouting as they crawled to their knees and smacked their tiny hands, landing on Beelzebub’s chest and ze cringed. Gabriel made a confused concerned face at zir. 

“Alright little one, that’s enough mayhem...Bee? You okay?” 

Ze curled up, dragging the baby along to tuck into Gabriel’s side, with a groan. “Why do they have to be zzzzoo zzzore?” Ze growled. 

A grumble followed, but this time from zir stomach, making Gabriel’s face change again; there was just too much to keep up. “Guess I should go get you something to eat. What will be okay?” A suddenly wistful, watery-eyed demon peered up at the angel from around zir arms making him pat zir hip, “doing okay?” 

“I wish we had apples...We’re so close to this country’s best apple orchards...I’ve read that the humanz make this hot apple zzider drink at this time of year...it would be zzo...zzoo nice.” Ze grimaced. 

“I could go and get you some.” 

“No...zzhouldn’t have it...” 

“Why? I don’t mind getting it if you can stomach it. Especially with how you haven’t been able to handle a lot, lately.” 

“Zz’too much sugar...” Ze sniffled, which the angel definitely heard and tried to get a look at zir face. Beelzebub only curled up tighter around the baby. 

“Why did you mention it, then?” 

“...mmmmm’fruzzzzztrated...” Another sniffle and he saw a hand wipe at zir face. 

Gabriel sighed and wrapped them both up, supporting his weight on one arm so not to squish them. “I see...Where did you even hear about this...apple cider?” 

“One of Hell’zzz agents made mention of it in hiz reports about the area.” Beelzebub said almost too quietly, hoping he wouldn’t hear the warble to zir voice, “Took note of it, because he said that it was extremely sweet, had a lot of natural sugarzz from the applez. Always wanted to try it if I ever got a chance to work in this area.” 

The angel eyed the demon, making a face, “Do you plan out your Earthside projects with gross matter in mind?” 

“Well, I am only THE-” 

“Demon of Gluttony. Right. Should have thought that first, dearest.” He smiled down at the little cocooned demon and wiggling infant in zir arms. 

A little growl, followed by a baby growl, emitted from the little burrowed pile making Gabriel chuckle. “I juzzt want zzweetzz!” 

“You keep telling me you can’t!” 

“I’ll get zome. From thizz zweet.” And a little bubbly baby cackle erupted as a demon tickled a little chubby tummy and gnawed on their chubby cheek. The Messenger pulled Beelzebub upright into his lap, away from Liatris, and kissed zir into submission. 

“I’ll get you sweets, if you promise not to eat this tiny sweet.” He studied the Prince and saw zir brow furrow. “After all this, of course.” 

A somber silence hit and Beelzebub pout deepened, eyes watering more. 

-Is she...crying?... 

Ze roughly wiped zir face with a sniffle, “not a promizze you can keep to me, Archangel...” 

-Ooookay. I messed that up... 

But instead of dwelling on it, Beelzebub pounced on him, swinging zir lithe legs to wrap around his trim waist with such a serious look on zir face. 

“If I can’t have a tiny zzweet one, I’ll have to take you, Mezzenger. You’re zzzweet.” Ze declared, small hands at his jaw and ze kissed him deeply, dipping zir hips. Gabriel could only resist so much, pulling zir flush to him. He groaned into the kiss as he got off the bed and then laid the demon out, trying to extricate himself from zir grip. 

“Honeybee, cease your temptation. Now is not the time...Liatris is awake.” But Beelzebub seemed adamant about kissing Gabriel out of his mind. “If you keep this up, I won’t be able to get you anything to eat at all.” 

“But, angel, I’ve thought of a few things I can put my mouth on that will satizzfy me...” 

-Oh no...No. No. No. Don’t do this to me, Bee...What has gotten into you?! 

Liatris crawled over to them and landed on Beelzebub’s shoulder to gnaw on zir, defusing the arising situation, and Gabriel’s face cracked into a toothy grin. Saved by a lamb of God with their mischievous ways. “They. Are. So much like you, and you can’t tell me otherwise. It’s adorable.” 

Ze gave a face of disappointment then smacked his ass, “Bezt get to it, Love.” 

********************************* 

Beelzebub had waited for that amulet and had used its retrieval night as the end date for everything the three knew. It was a distressing timeline, Warring with what Liatris needed for emotional development and what ze would need…to prepare for letting go… 

When they finally find humans to take care of the growing human child... 

But it felt impossible to say no to tiny baby kisses, holding them so close, and reading and talking to them. It felt unfair. 

But, regardless of want, it was going to happen and ze would not risk Liatris for zir wants to keep what they had mistakenly built. The demon had studied and researched and reviewed everything for the ritual and what ze could use to protect them, Gabriel constantly reminding zir it had to include zir protection too. It ended with zir reassuring the angel that Beelzebub had cross-examined and checked out of every single possible trick that ze could utilize with zir meticulous nature. 

So the day Gabriel was expected to bring back the amulet, it was like everything was sucked into a small void and dread filled them. 

The Prince declared they would commit the ritual three days after they had the amulet in their possession, and for each day leading up they would have to do a different cleansing spell for three days, ending with the fourth and final. Beelzebub walked Gabriel through everything, explaining and answering any question he had. Because ze had been extreme in zir research and careful to cover every aspect, ze could supply the Messenger with everything he needed to know. 

“I trust you, Bee. I know we’ll be okay.” He nodded while making a funny face. “I did not know a bath and burning candles was helpful.” 

“The root you picked up, the Angelica, it has extreme cleansing properties. The entire plant does, but the root is strongest...” Zir thoughts intruded and ze mulled things over. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“We will also need to cleanse ourselves…” 

Gabriel smirked, “well, I know for a fact that you will have no issue with that part of the ritual. I have seen-” 

“It could harm me.” Ze clipped out and Gabriel’s smile vanished. 

“Is it necessary?” 

“The connection is just as much to me as it is to the baby. Azz it iz you.” Ze let Liatris clunk zir in the jaw with their head and felt the baby curl up tight, blabbering innocently. 

“The instance you're out, I’ll heal you.” He stepped close, bending to be eye level and readjusting the blue robe volante he had commissioned for zir when ze had kept to wearing nothing but a nightgown, thinking it would be more comfortable for Beelzebub with the winter months. “You need to tell me the instance it feels too much. Okay? I’ll pull you out.” 

Gabriel’s fingers felt the heavyweight lampas and noticed a tear in the fabric. Tinier fingers were latched on it and he saw how the raw edge of the material had been woven open with tiny meticulous stitches, looking intentional. Remembering how Beelzebub had asked him to buy thread the same color he now realized what it was for, though couldn’t understand why it was sewn incorrectly. It didn’t diminish from the piece, figuring it would be damaged at some point due to the couple’s Living arrangements and potential attack, but the angel had hoped that it would have remained intact longer. Seeing Liatris latch their hand there though, made it feel less like a loss. 

“Promise you’ll tell me.” 

A nod and they were discussing the red candles Gabriel needed to pick up and the oils for anointing, again. The shopping list wasn’t long but they needed fresh ingredients. 

The last thing discussed was that they would immediately leave. Regardless of their state, they had agreed to retreat to new dwellings knowing the magics involved would draw attention. They had decided three different possible routes and go according to what held no obstacle. It was about the sixth time Beelzebub had them run through it over the weeks. 

After all was discussed they had discovered it was later than thought and the nerve wracked demon was not looking forward to eating. Beelzebub was having more issues with food intolerance and smells, trying to ignore the fact that ze had been nearly too sick at points to even have food in their rooms for long. The demon would open a window and cringe through it, forcing zirself before zir stomach could settle so ze could feed Liatris. Beelzebub had started to ask Gabriel to bring back bread and thoroughly cooked, dreadfully unseasoned eggs and uncooked vegetables, saying with the most dejected face that it was easiest to digest most days. 

That day was no different and the house mistress gave Gabriel what he had started calling “the suspicious eye,” because she kept looking at him like she knew something the Archangel of God did not. Which he would say is preposterous! She was human! He’s an angel! He was the one in the know of things. 

When he got back the smell of the food sent Beelzebub right to the chamberpot and they tried to deal with that and the demon’s frustrations over food making zir ill. 

Strangely, eating the eggs cold seemed to make it easier and they were able to feed Liatris with no issue either except for the fact that Beelzebub tried to ignore the tenderness of zir breasts. 

Afterwords, the Prince of Gluttony curled up in a tired, sore, aggravated ball and hid tears that ze laughed through as Liatris made funny blabbering faces while they lay on their tummy and wiggled as close as humanly possible to zir face, the way human children did with their Loved ones. Gabriel cleaned up the dishes, Beelzebub earlier finding it intolerable to let the chamberpot remain unclean for any length of time and hastily dealt with it zirself through crinkled nose, and then the Messenger was dragged into bed to curl up with the two. Beelzebub said ze were stealing his warmth – and ze were chilled to the bone still wrapped in zir robe valante, Gabriel didn’t have to feel zir freezing feet against his legs to know that – but the Archangel found it immensely pleasant to be tucked beneath the blankets with the two and watching another snowfall from their window. 

The next days leading up to the ritual were spent similarly. Maybe a little less vomiting on Beelzebub’s part and a few extremely intense seizures for both Liatris and demon. But more memories for the Prince. 

One had been too familiar that only amplified the ache that had plagued the demon in the pit of zir soul for millennia. 

Beelzebub remembered Falling again. Not like the first time ze remembered it on the battlefield, no. This was more visceral. The smoke from the Holy Fires in Heaven burned zir nose and clouded up zir vision too harshly to see. Zir body felt ragged and tired. It hurt as though having been struck and stabbed a few dozen times. Beelzebub could feel a stickiness cling to zir body, smelling the copper tang of blood, ze knew the battle was woven into zir then. 

Ze could hear the echoes of a voice, him pleading to, “just come back to me…” and though it was too distant, too strained, it stung zir to the core and broke zir heart. Ze knew it was for zir ears and made everything ze fought for feel…inconsequential. Like ze believed he wished to wash it all away and forget. Like it could be so easy for him and everything else ze found that mattered didn’t to him. 

Something else he asked in that fog felt no longer applicable. It wasn’t zirs anymore. And so Beelzebub felt ready to tear it all away, angry and in pain. 

The not yet Prince heard him call out to zir again but the enchanter didn’t let zir hear zir own name fall from his lips…feet hit the grounds of Heaven, ze could feel zir footwork change patterns to shift. The sharp crack of a heavy blade through Beelzebub’s ribs, cleaving through several in a place that felt so familiar to a promise made what felt like ages ago. It was a solid hit with no room for error and pain and relief bubbled within making a smile creep to zir mouth, even when ze could hear evident horror and agony in his unsounding voice. 

…Ze may have tried to strike zir Lover but ze hadn’t tried to block his blade either… 

The angel that was Falling had had zir own blade swung too far away against one ze knew to be a warrior...Even if the rage within zir still wished to wound him, zir resolve found ze didn’t know if the remnant of an angel actually could anymore...But it didn’t matter...NOTHING MATTERED! Ze had felt the Almighty’s decision start to tear into zir in punishment long before... 

The Heavens crumbled open below zir again and Beelzebub felt zir body slide off the blade in this re-Living and zir Grace start to pull away, more painfully than the last time ze were forced to remember. 

The world crashed into clarity, as clear as ze had always remembered the Fall. The terrified faces and howls of pain. The tears and wind burning zir eyes. Looking to the earth and seeing the brightest of the angels burning as He Fell before them all. The Lightbringer, shining in all His misery even as memories of Him faded away of Him Before, as Lucifer crashed into the pits below and made it spark into the fiery pits every Fallen knew to forge them. 

Beelzebub was supposed to be Dying. Or discorporating…ze remembered discorporating often Before…like each was a test somehow?...but now it was like being stuck in limbo within zir own form. 

Ze were too weak to shriek, changing blood flying up into the air, back to Heaven with zir Grace…it was burning Beelzebub as it left. Zir back felt like it was on fire, burning through zir unseen wings all the way down to their roots and into zir chest. It hurt almost as much as the Grace leaving zir. The air of Heaven’s divinity felt like acid wrecking zir throat and lungs as the last of it left zir. Sinew and bone tore and snapped harder and contorted zir body as the one becoming demon Fell. The angel that crafted butterflies and small creations in zir hands felt as their bones broke, the power from the Almighty to do so shattering as zir natural ability to heal like any angel, struggled to combat the damage. There was something boiling low in Beelzebub’s gut and ze felt it change zir God given gift, ruining zirself fully, though ze didn’t understand then. 

Ze were supposed to be Dying...ze felt it… 

And then ze hit the pit of lava and felt it burn, pain renewed, before shock brought zir out of the memory. Gabriel had put Liatris in the bassinet and lay the demon on the floor as zir body contorted as ze screamed in agony unhindered. Ze felt it all too real and the angel’s Grace both drew zir and repelled. As soon as Beelzebub was no longer an overpowered victim to zir memory ze lay in a shuddering pile, begging the Archangel to take care of the crying baby, begging how ze needed to know they were there and this was real. 

The demon felt like ze were absolutely fucking losing not only zirself but zir sanity. It was too much. A Fall felt so viscerally all over again was TOO MUCH! 

Gabriel picked up the little soul then scooped Beelzebub into his arms. He held his wife and the baby that wasn’t theirs and whispered that they were all safe. All alright. Even though his face held anguish and his own pain of witnessing something he must have understood on some metaphysical level. But he held zir still. And the demon clung to him and folded zirself up against his warm body as best ze could til the pain and flutter in zir abdomen could no longer be ignored and ze threw zirself to vomit. 

It was one of those long exhausting, emotional days… 

However, the purification rituals provided strange solace and maybe the most calm the three felt in months. 

The purification bath seemed to hold no ill affect over the demon and ze relaxed, unfazed that Gabriel was watching over zir, worriedly asking every few minutes if ze felt alright. The candle anointment and burning started the next morning, but the smell was soothing even to the demon, and the third day they washed the room. Top to bottom – even the ceiling at Beelzebub’s insistence – with a mix of vinegar, lavender, thyme, mint, Italian sage…and rosemary. That night Beelzebub insisted they did nothing else, just…rest. That they must and wait, and the next nightfall was when they would perform the ritual. 

The demon and angel couldn’t seem to sleep well that night, holding each other tight, waiting for the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much going on(okay. When is there not Starry?)...Bee’s finally getting very comfortable with Gabriel, but it’s so late in this story. Ugh! I’m sorry. I didn’t plan this so I just let it all run away on me. In truth I thought I needed some growth between Italy and Regency because Regency is lots of fooling around. I didn’t think Beelzebub would be that willing to jump into sex with Gabe, with everything that happened. Then mistakes were made... 
> 
> Now they have a baby and are getting all extra cozy and all the things they SHOULD NOT BE DOING. I don’t know how Gabriel’s capable of not getting a nosebleed at this point with Bee’s growing horniness. Or just too terrified to touch Bee after what happened in chapter 35. They’re working through though. 
> 
> I hope the memories are revealing enough that you are enjoying the snippets I’m giving away. The one in the last chapter was rather bittersweet, knowing that Bee had a companion that was so close and they were happy, that they both Fell but Bee holds no trust with them either. The last two gave more clues to what happened Before with Lucifer and then Before zir Fall, making it cut deeper (because who else is writing this? Just this sadistic bastard.) 
> 
> I hadn’t planned on sharing zir Fall again, but there were important snippets I wanted to grow. I felt like it would be harsh to reshare it and that more puzzle pieces would fall into place for Bee, making what the three are building a bit harsher. 
> 
> Then the small small snippets are also important. I didn’t want to expand on them, just give a blip to make you wonder over what happened to Bee. 
> 
> The rituals I try to include are accurate in properties, I try to make sure that I’m not taking anything from cultures I don’t belong to or give away things that can’t be used generally (as in not from closed practices. Please don’t be an asshole.) Hence why I mention sage being from Italy specifically. And don’t goof; rosemary and sage are highly used in cleansing and even binding rituals in some practices. Particularly Italian ones. 
> 
> Please leave comments, I LOVE hearing what you think, things you found interesting (or dumb) or funny, and con-crit helps immensely. I love the song suggestions I get.

**Author's Note:**

> Any concerns, con-crit, questions, comments, and promises you have no intention to keep are all welcome! (kudos are like cookies and are also enjoyed!) I try to read everything and respond and really appreciated! Some of what people wrote me really meant a lot to hear. I know I don't need to write the topics I do but it's how this story came about and crafted itself. So thank you!


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